naturally Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 There is a local church who offers a karate class for free. My boys have expressed interest in it but DH and I can't decide if we want to let them go. They fight - A LOT. Always after each other, teasing each other, yelling, etc. I'm sure it's typical but it can get to be too much some days. On one hand we wonder if the class will give them an outlet that would help at home. On the other hand, we worry they would use it against each other. What would you do? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Yes, I would, because the karate teacher (and probably the older students) would back up what you've been teaching your boys about NOT misusing their physical skills to hurt each other foolishly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mytwomonkeys Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I would let them. They can't use it against each other. It's like the first rule of karate :) The teacher should make that really clear. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in NY Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Well... Our martial arts place stresses continually that kids should never, never use their skills on anybody at school or home (unless they are being attacked or something like that... purely defensive stuff). In addition to the physical training they talk a lot about the 5 tenets, and in the children's classes stress self control above almost all else. Do you know if the karate place makes a point to discuss this type of thing? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SquirrellyMama Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 When our kids started martial arts the instructors were very adament that what they were learning was not to be used just because. They had to have a very good reason for using it on someone. Kelly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
maize Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Send them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardenmom5 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 it's not typical. I'd get more information on the sensei who is teaching the class. the fact it is free at a church makes me question a) how competent the teacher is, and b.) any ulterior motives/obligations from the church. a good class would help develop self-discipline, and boosts self-confidence - which could also diminish the motivation for their fighting. a good sensei would also hold them accountable of such actions of using their skills against another. (outside of legitimate self-defense.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillfarm Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I would send them but also mention to the instructor that you were concerned that they not use what they are learning on each other. If there has been a fairly static group of kids in the beginner class, he may have already covered this material at length and forget to review it for your dc. A hint from you would be a good reminder to go over it again. Our martial arts instructor won't let siblings spar, or even work together very much because he doesn't want any at-home baggage to surface nor does he want any in-dojo disputes to be taken home to be worked out. I think many MA systems focus on self control, walking away from a potential fight, and de-escalating aggression. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Berta Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 My daughter takes karate and I see lots of kids that are taking it for that exact same reason. Karate teaches them how to channel their energy/anger/aggression in a healthy way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 My older kids take TKD and I agree with the others. A good instructor and program emphasizes self-control, de-escalating situations, and NOT using the skills on anyone except for self-defense. Gardenmom 5 also brings up a good point. I would fully investigate this program and talk to the instructor before enrolling my kids. There are a lot of belt factories out there taught by people who do not understand the true nature of martial arts and only teach the skills without addressing the (more important, in my estimation) character skills. My kids' instructors will yank a belt and make the kid truly earn it back if they see or hear of someone misusing their skills. (Yes, they do confirm the incident if they haven't directly witnessed it.) So, I agree that karate would probably be good for your kids AND I think you and your dh should really investigate this free class. You might get what you pay for. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 My older kids take TKD and I agree with the others. A good instructor and program emphasizes self-control, de-escalating situations, and NOT using the skills on anyone except for self-defense. Gardenmom 5 also brings up a good point. I would fully investigate this program and talk to the instructor before enrolling my kids. There are a lot of belt factories out there taught by people who do not understand the true nature of martial arts and only teach the skills without addressing the (more important, in my estimation) character skills. My kids' instructors will yank a belt and make the kid truly earn it back if they see or hear of someone misusing their skills. (Yes, they do confirm the incident if they haven't directly witnessed it.) So, I agree that karate would probably be good for your kids AND I think you and your dh should really investigate this free class. You might get what you pay for. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 At our sons' Karate dojo, at every class, they recite the student creed, which mentions "never fight to achieve selfish ends, but Might for Right." They are taught that the best way to resolve situations is with words and Karate should only be used for defense (themselves or someone who needs defending.) If Sensei ever heard of kids using their skills inappropriately, there would be strict consequences. I would definitely discuss this with the instructor to find out how they handle it and how they instill self-control and the right attitude. My kids were never allowed to test for a belt without them answering questions about how they were doing in school and at home. The child self-reports and the parent has to give the OK before they are ever allowed to test. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Truscifi Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 Agreeing with others, if it is a good class with a good instructor it should help reduce fighting, but you should definitely check it out yourself first. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mathnerd Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 In my son's TKD class they have to "promise never to be abusive or offensive" and to only use what they learn in self defense amongst other things about "working towards the betterment of the fellow man" etc when they recite the student creed. We talked in depth to the Master Instructor who has 8 degree black belts before signing up my son who was 4 at that time - we had concerns that his immaturity at that age might translate into inappropriate use of his TKD skills outside of the martial arts school - we were told categorically that it is the kids who do not know martial arts that end up in fights and they were right. I can see how they drill values like respect, courtesy and self-discipline every single day. And my child has learned that what he learns is only for self-defense. And it has been 2 years and we have seen a remarkable level of self-control, impulse control, discipline, focus and maturity in my child. So, get a really good martial arts instructor for your children and they will teach them self-discipline and respect which go hand in hand with martial arts. Check out the church instructor - see what his pedigree is and then make your decision to sign up or not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Paige Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 I would let them and I would make them sit out for a long while the first time they used it outside of class if they ever did. I'd offer them a second chance after that first time but probably wouldn't offer a 3rd chance. In our school, kids aren't even allowed to show off for others outside of class. It's kind of annoying when some family members' kids show off their gymnastics, dance, music, etc skills and my kids have nothing, but I understand. I would want to observe a few classes before letting the kids go and agree with investigating the level and experience of the instructors. You may want to also observe what goes on in some paid schools. If you feel comfortable with what is going on and what you get for the money, it could be a great program for you. There was a free church karate program where we once lived and I felt the instruction was well below what my kids received in our school and felt no desire to switch even though our school was costing us a lot of $$$ for 4 kids. On the other hand, I did refer some people to them who could not otherwise afford martial arts at all. It depends on what your goals are and what you want, and sometimes good enough is just fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fraidycat Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 My kids are always fighting, too. They started taking karate a few months ago. It is stressed early and often to NEVER use the karate outside of the studio unless in a true self defense type of situation. This is one rule that they actually follow. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 We do another martial art, and I've seen it improve the sibling relationship. With any martial art, I'd try to have an adult there as much as you can swing to see how well it is supervised and whether the teaching is really what you want. There are all kinds of dojos and all kinds of instructors. Ours is relatively inexpensive for the area, and I still stayed most of the time in the first few years. Money doesn't equate with superior instruction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted January 30, 2014 Share Posted January 30, 2014 For free I would do it in a heart beat. I would take them and sit in for a few weeks though before committing to make sure that the class is taught appropriately. The instructor should be teaching self discipline and they should be taught not to use their Karate against their brother. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kiana Posted January 31, 2014 Share Posted January 31, 2014 I would try it out. I really wouldn't let the low cost throw you off. Yes, sometimes it's true that you get what you pay for, but sometimes you find a talented instructor who is serious enough about getting children into the art that s/he will offer it at-cost, which may be 0 if rent-free space is available. Our university Aikido club charged nothing unless students wanted to test for belts, which they had to fund themselves. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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