How to Respond to "Is He Yours" and other like questions

[mathmarm]

I guess this is especially for biracial families, (yes, that includes adopting a child of a different race) but anyone with a good idea/reply is welcome.

 

My 4mo son is biracial and he does NOT at first glance, look like a member of my race. Distant friends and relatives who knew I didn't have any kids continuously express surprise that he's mine. I have gotten the "Oh, is he yours" comment quite a bit, especially with all the holiday visiting and quite frankly, I am sick and tired of it already and my kids is only 4 months old. What is a graceful way to respond to this question?

 

I know that this is only the beginning and many of these people genuinely don't mean any harm but I hate it. Any suggestions?

[Scarlett]

Smile and say, yes he is.

 

People ask to make conversation, to have an excuse to interact with you and look at your cute baby. Just because it is the same question over and over doesn't make the 10th person asking worthy of your irritation.

[Scarlett]

Ugh, how incredibly rude. Well I guess I'd just say yes he is. What else can ya say? I wouldn't ask anyone something dumb like that.

Why is it dumb? Maybe they think she looks too young to be the mom and maybe she is babysitting or maybe he is her nephew.

 

Shrug. I am not that easily offended.

[indigomama]

I would just keep it short and sweet, "Yes, we are so blessed this is our adorable son, Jim Bob." Don't get offended, if they hadn't seen you in a while or heard you were expecting, then maybe they would have questioned any child you brought, and they just want to be introduced.

[mathmarm]

Why is it dumb? Maybe they think she looks too young to be the mom and maybe she is babysitting or maybe he is her nephew.

 

Shrug. I am not that easily offended.

I'm not offended as I am irritated. Since this is how the standard introduction goes

Me: "This is my son, [sons' name] born in Sept. yadda, yadda, yadda." and then I'm asked

Them: "Oh so did the adoption go through?"

Me: No, Jr. isn't adopted--you remember Hubby, don't you?

Them: "Oh, so is he yours then?"

or something like that. I get it,  Jr's different and he doesn't look like me. All of these people know my husband and they know he's of a different race. I understand that they expected me to adopt--I tried several times, but once I point out that MY HUSBAND--Hubby is the father, shouldn't it follow that I'm the mom?

[Scarlett]

I'm not offended as I am irritated. Since this is how the standard introduction goes

Me: "This is my son, [sons' name] born in Sept. yadda, yadda, yadda." and then I'm asked

Them: "Oh so did the adoption go through?"

Me: No, Jr. isn't adopted--you remember Hubby, don't you?

Them: "Oh, so is he yours then?"

or something like that. I get it, Jr's different and he doesn't look like me. All of these people know my husband and they know he's of a different race. I understand that they expected me to adopt--I tried several times, but once I point out that MY HUSBAND--Hubby is the father, shouldn't it follow that I'm the mom?

Lol...well I can see how that conversation would be irritating. Maybe you should send out mass birth announcements.

 

The fact that you were trying to adopt makes it understandable that their brain can't catch up with their mouth.

[Cera]

Just say "yes" or "of course" and leave it at that.  Most people will move on.

We often get similar questions since we are a blended family (four kids within 2 years and they don't all look alike).  

[mom2bee]

After you tell everyone that Hubby's the dad and they ask you if he's your child, then I would say the following:

"No, actually he's Hubbys Love Child--I found out that after X years of marriage he'd been cheating on me with the Mailman Laurence, who only became a man after growing up and graduating from college as "Loretta Smith" and getting free of her families control, so rather than let Laurence put the child up for adoption, I agreed to forgive Hubby and raise the child. It was actually a lot cheaper than adopting in the long run and we couldn't be happier now that Hubby and I are back in marriage counseling and Laurence moved to Timbuktu in order to remain Laurence Jones rather than go back to being Loretta Smith, but yes, we really love our bundle of joy."

 

If you keep a straight face until that "Bundle of Joy" bit it'll be even better.

[Angie in VA]

I would just keep it short and sweet, "Yes, we are so blessed this is our adorable son, Jim Bob." Don't get offended, if they hadn't seen you in a while or heard you were expecting, then maybe they would have questioned any child you brought, and they just want to be introduced.

 

I'm offended by the name Jim Bob. Just kidding. (No, I'm not kidding, but I'm in a quirky mood.)

 

You are much nicer than I am. I'd have a snarky response ready. In fact, I do for questions about why my dc aren't in school and "Where did he get his red hair?" regarding my ginger son. I have nice answers ready too. I wish I only used the nice ones.

[lovinmomma]

I get that question all of the time simply because I have (what seems to others) a lotta kids. :)

[SKL]

You could head it off at the pass with "have you met our son" or something like that.

 

I don't find it rude.  I have two kids who were adopted and look nothing like me.  I do not find it frustrating to sometimes have to point out that my kid is my kid.

 

Here's a question.  If your son were adopted, would it still bother you?  If not, why not?  Is it insulting for someone to imply that a child might have been adopted?  An adopted child is every bit as much a member of the family as a biological child.  So what if someone thinks your child joined your family a different way?

I don't get irritated on the rare occasion (and it does happen) that someone assumes my kids were born from my body.  So I don't understand the irritation when the mistake goes the other way.

[gardenmom5]

no he's not.  I stole him from a shopping cart in front of a grocery store. :closedeyes:  (I guess I'm just in a perverse mood this morning.)

I'm not offended as I am irritated. Since this is how the standard introduction goes

Me: "This is my son, [sons' name] born in Sept. yadda, yadda, yadda." and then I'm asked

Them: "Oh so did the adoption go through?"

Me: No, Jr. isn't adopted--you remember Hubby, don't you?

Them: "Oh, so is he yours then?"

or something like that. I get it,  Jr's different and he doesn't look like me. All of these people know my husband and they know he's of a different race. I understand that they expected me to adopt--I tried several times, but once I point out that MY HUSBAND--Hubby is the father, shouldn't it follow that I'm the mom?

 

miss manners had a similar question once.  she suggested the mother cover the child's ears and say "shh, my husband thinks our daughter looks just like him".

 

 

you said you had previously tried to adopt.  were these people aware of that?  some people are just that slow and can't mentally change lanes.

 

 you can ask them "what adoption?"  and look at them blankly.
 

[Crimson Wife]

My oldest was born when I was 25 and I've got a youthful face so people tended to assume I was a teen. I constantly got mistaken for the nanny even though DD is the spitting image of me. I felt at the time like I should've printed up a t-shirt reading: Yes, she's mine. Yes, I'm married. No, it wasn't a "shotgun" wedding. Yes, I'm a college graduate with a decent job. And it's none of your business whether or not she was planned!"

 

People can be so rude!

[RebeccaS]

I've gotten that before.  We have two AA children and three very pasty white children.  It's pretty clear that I did not give birth to my two boys.  The Salvation Army bell ringer this past December seemed quite taken aback when I replied that no, I was not babysitting, that was my son.   :laugh:   I did not give her the answer that she expected.  But, I usually give a smile and reply that yes, they are my children.  When my oldest 4 were very small I also had a foster dd in the same age group so, I used to get, "Are they ALL yours!!??" quite a bit.  I figure most people are curious, but don't stop to think about what they're actually saying.  

[Farrar]

Okay, making the assumption he's adopted is a bit rude.  And I know there are a whole host of biracial kid issues that others may help you address.

 

Around here though people often ask if a kid is "yours" because the nanny culture is so pervasive at parks.  And having twins, when they were babies, I dealt with constant "are they twins?" questions.  Sigh.  It is annoying, but most people are just trying to make conversation.  After awhile, even "Oh, they're so cute," got annoying.  Because I heard it so often.  It begins to feel like you're defined by your stroller/baby carrier.  And while for the initiator of the conversation, it's a new conversation, for you, it's one you've now had a hundred times and you're not sure how to carry it out again in any sort of genuine and creative way.

 

So basically, my advice, just remind yourself that people are trying and try not to let any of it get to you.

[gardenmom5]

You are much nicer than I am. I'd have a snarky response ready. In fact, I do for questions about why my dc aren't in school and "Where did he get his read hair?" regarding my ginger son. I have nice answers ready too. I wish I only used the nice ones.

 

dh taught dd to say "it came with the head".  

 

[mirth]

I don't find it rude. I know it bothers some, but it's not necessarily judgmental to ask. I think it's far easier in general to stick one's foot in one's mouth speculating about the relationship between any two people. If I had to search for anything rude in such a question, it would be the objectification of a human as property in the question "Is he yours?" (==> "No, there are two owners on his certificate of title.")

[Angie in VA]

dh taught dd to say "it came with the head".  

 

 

Yes! This is #1 on the list. Another fave: We ordered it. Special.

 

Now, you quoted me before I caught that I typed "read" instead of "red." Horrors. Why did I give up caffeine 11 years ago??? Oh, wait. I do drink tea now, and not just caffeine-free. Perhaps I need a cuppa.

[mom2bee]

On a more serious and less snarky note, I spend a lot of time with my younger siblings and cousins and often take them places. (for ice cream, the library, the musuem, etc...) and I find it highly irritating when people ask me "are they all yours?!" "how old were you when you had the first?" "are they adopted" and especially "wow, how many fathers?" (I'm 23 years old, and black.)

 

NONE of them, are mine.

I haven't had any kids yet.
None of them are adopted
There are exactly 2 fathers of all the kids in the group (my dad and my uncle.)

 

I usually just ignore them or say: These aren't my kids.

 

I hate it when people (especially slightly older women) follow me around, watching us and bombarding me with questions. I just take it on a case by case basis and try to be friendly but some of them act like they think I'm lying. I hate it when I catch the old biddys talking to some of the younger kids and asking them "Is that you mom? Where is your mama at? Who is that your with today."

 

[Crimson Wife]

dh taught dd to say "it came with the head".

My brother used to claim that it was because he loved catsup so much, LOL!

[SKL]

Honestly I don't find it strange at all that people assume adoption when they know the parents had been working toward an adoption.  Unless they knew you were recently pregnant, what else would they think?

 

No it is not an insult to call someone adopted.  Adopted kids are as precious as any kid.

[indigomama]

I'm offended by the name Jim Bob. Just kidding. (No, I'm not kidding, but I'm in a quirky mood.)

 

You are much nicer than I am. I'd have a snarky response ready. In fact, I do for questions about why my dc aren't in school and "Where did he get his red hair?" regarding my ginger son. I have nice answers ready too. I wish I only used the nice ones.

 

 

Well shoot, I was trying to think of an inoffensive name. I was going to say, "This is my son Sue", but I didn't know how that would go over, not everyone loves The Man in Black. 

 

I have lots of snarky responses for things, but I'm finally learning to say the nice things and share the snarks later with my DH, and have a good laugh.

 

Unless people are trying to be rude, I forgive them for being stupid.

[SKL]

On a more serious and less snarky note, I spend a lot of time with my younger siblings and cousins and often take them places. (for ice cream, the library, the musuem, etc...) and I find it highly irritating when people ask me "are they all yours?!" "how old were you when you had the first?" "are they adopted" and especially "wow, how many fathers?" (I'm 23 years old, and black.)

 

NONE of them, are mine.

I haven't had any kids yet.

None of them are adopted

There are exactly 2 fathers of all the kids in the group (my dad and my uncle.)

 

I usually just ignore them or say: These aren't my kids.

 

I hate it when people (especially slightly older women) follow me around, watching us and bombarding me with questions. I just take it on a case by case basis and try to be friendly but some of them act like they think I'm lying. I hate it when I catch the old biddys talking to some of the younger kids and asking them "Is that you mom? Where is your mama at? Who is that your with today."

 

When I was 16 I was at college with my 4yo sister in tow.  Someone asked some question and I *joked* that she was my kid.  Only, to my horror, the person (a professor of mine) did not take it as a joke.  After a minute I decided that was pretty funny.  ;)

 

[Crimson Wife]

Honestly I don't find it strange at all that people assume adoption when they know the parents had been working toward an adoption.  Unless they knew you were recently pregnant, what else would they think?

 

No it is not an insult to call someone adopted.  Adopted kids are as precious as any kid.

If I knew that the mom was in an interracial marriage, I don't think my first assumption would be that the dark-skinned child was adopted.

[SKL]

If I knew that the mom was in an interracial marriage, I don't think my first assumption would be that the dark-skinned child was adopted.

 

Even if you had been told the couple were trying to adopt, and had not known she'd been pregnant?

 

[lovinmomma]

This applies more to those with adopted children:

See, and because of my interest in adoption and other cultures... I guess sometimes I'm that rude person. I ask because I don't want to assume wrongly and offend you. I also ask because it's a passion of mine, too, and I'm trying to find common ground.

[Angie in VA]

Well shoot, I was trying to think of an inoffensive name. I was going to say, "This is my son Sue", but I didn't know how that would go over, not everyone loves The Man in Black. 

 

I have lots of snarky responses for things, but I'm finally learning to say the nice things and share the snarks later with my DH, and have a good laugh.

 

Unless people are trying to be rude, I forgive them for being stupid.

 

Don't mind me. I was being silly, or stupid. I'm good at stupid. And I'm not even the OP, so who cares what I think? 

 

I long to do what you do w/ the nice responses. It is fun to practice the snarky ones, though. :)

[SKL]

I'm surprised your friends knew of your adoption plans but not of your pregnancy.  I kept my adoption secret from most people, a lot longer than one could hide a pregnant belly.

[mom2bee]

I'm surprised your friends knew of your adoption plans but not of your pregnancy.  I kept my adoption secret from most people, a lot longer than one could hide a pregnant belly.

 

Me too.

[momto10blessings]

I get that all the time, but because I have so many kids. When I'm out and 9 people have asked me if they are all mine, heaven help the 10th person that asks, because by then I'm so sick of hearing that question. So I can understand, but in a different way.

 

My cousin has biracial kids and no one believes they are hers. They always assume she's babysitting or they are adopted. The oldest is 10, so I assume she's become used to it by now.

[mathmarm]

I'm surprised your friends knew of your adoption plans but not of your pregnancy.  I kept my adoption secret from most people, a lot longer than one could hide a pregnant belly.

 

I have a long history of failed pregnancies. I had several miscarriages and stillbirths. Most everyone gave up on me being able to carry a baby to term. I finally stopped announcing pregnancies, even when they seemed to be going well because thats usually when everything would go wrong.

 

Still, I did announce that Jr. had been born!

[Heather in Neverland]

You will need to get thicker skin because people will say a lot of things that sound rude or inconsiderate and USUALLY they aren't trying to be rude or inconsiderate.

 

My biggest pet peeve is when they ask these questions in front of my adopted children. I really don't mind answering questions. When I chose to have an unusual family (three kids, three different ethnicities) I knew we would stand out and people would stare, wonder, ask questions, etc. So usually I am ok with it.

 

But please don't ask "is he yours?" IN FRONT OF my 9yo ds. I am happy to answer you privately.

[Journey]

i would just say something like "yes, he is why do you ask?"

[Alice]

I have biracial kids. They don’t look a lot like me, but they don’t look a lot like dh either. 

 

I have found the vast majority of comments are just people making conversation. I don’t know why those kind of comments are the ones people go to or why in some situations they feel the need to comment but they do. 

 

I get asked a lot if they are biracial or “mixed†and usually I find the person is either biracial or has biracial kids themselves and is just curious. Or I get a lot of “biracial kids are so beautiful†comments. Can’t be offended by that. :) 

 

I have been asked if they have different fathers by strangers which I find odd for multiple reasons. One being that if anything, they look very much like each other even if they don’t look like me. 

 

For the most part, I treat it like homeschooling questions and comments. I assume the person has good intentions, answer their question at face value and move on. Dh is Chinese-American but born and raised in Indiana. He gets asked all the time “where are you from?† when the person means “what ethnicity are you†not literally where are you from. Sometimes he answers Indiana and the person realizes their mistake, sometimes he just answers the intention and says “My family is ethnically Chinese but I grew up in Indiana.†I think sometimes he finds it tiring but just chooses not to be offended. 

 

And I try to remember that on occasion I’ve been on the other end and asked stupid questions. Once friends adopted two boys from Guatemala. They had gone to Guatemala and stayed for six months to foster in country before the adoption so we hadn’t seen them in a long time. The boys were close in age, but looked very different. On return, I asked “Are they brothers?†And immediately realized it was an awkward question since of course they are brothers NOW and it really wasn’t my business if they were biologically brothers. The mother answered in a very gracious way that made me feel less stupid. 

[Tranquility7]

We are all caucasian in our house, and my two kiddos are bio kiddos.  DS looks very much like DH, and DD looks very much like me.  That being said, before we were able to conceive DD, we tried for years to adopt (and everyone knew it).  Hence, many people ask if DD is "ours" - meaning, is she bio or adopted.  If I wanted to, I could get offended at that question - after all, whether bio OR adopted, she is ours.  But I know what they mean, and I assume they mean well!  So I just smile and tell them she is bio, and in the next breath they talk about how much she looks like me.  So wondering if a child is bio or adopted may have absolutely NOTHING to do with what your child looks like, but simply the fact that they know you tried to adopt.

 

We are currently pregnant with an adopted embryo (a DD) who is caucasian but who may look nothing like any of us.  We have no idea!!  People logically assume she is bio since I am ***pregnant*** with her... and yet she is adopted!  We are very open about the fact that she is adopted, and I'm sure it will be the source of many questions in the future (as it already has been).

 

To me, these questions are just an opportunity to tell about God's kindness to us.  We had lots of fertility trouble before conceiving DD - but we did conceive her!  Aren't we so blessed??!!  And then we couldn't conceive again in another 3 yrs, and traditional adoption options were not going anywhere for us, and God allowed us to have this new little one through embryo adoption - and again, aren't we so blessed??!!  I love for people to ask questions because I love to tell about how we were given our precious children, whether the old fashioned way, or a "new fashioned" way!  I honestly don't see what in the world would there ever be to be irritated about.

[Angie in VA]

Well shoot, I was trying to think of an inoffensive name. I was going to say, "This is my son Sue", but I didn't know how that would go over, not everyone loves The Man in Black. 

 

I have lots of snarky responses for things, but I'm finally learning to say the nice things and share the snarks later with my DH, and have a good laugh.

 

Unless people are trying to be rude, I forgive them for being stupid.

 

 

Don't mind me. I was being silly, or stupid. I'm good at stupid. And I'm not even the OP, so who cares what I think? 

 

I long to do what you do w/ the nice responses. It is fun to practice the snarky ones, though. :)

 

Indigomama, I want to publicly apologize for being a jerk. I am sorry. Please forgive me.

[indigomama]

Well, I didn't take it that way at all. So, not that you needed to apologize, but you are forgiven!

[Heather in Neverland]

We are all caucasian in our house, and my two kiddos are bio kiddos. DS looks very much like DH, and DD looks very much like me. That being said, before we were able to conceive DD, we tried for years to adopt (and everyone knew it). Hence, many people ask if DD is "ours" - meaning, is she bio or adopted. If I wanted to, I could get offended at that question - after all, whether bio OR adopted, she is ours. But I know what they mean, and I assume they mean well! So I just smile and tell them she is bio, and in the next breath they talk about how much she looks like me. So wondering if a child is bio or adopted may have absolutely NOTHING to do with what your child looks like, but simply the fact that they know you tried to adopt.

 

We are currently pregnant with an adopted embryo (a DD) who is caucasian but who may look nothing like any of us. We have no idea!! People logically assume she is bio since I am ***pregnant*** with her... and yet she is adopted! We are very open about the fact that she is adopted, and I'm sure it will be the source of many questions in the future (as it already has been).

 

To me, these questions are just an opportunity to tell about God's kindness to us. We had lots of fertility trouble before conceiving DD - but we did conceive her! Aren't we so blessed??!! And then we couldn't conceive again in another 3 yrs, and traditional adoption options were not going anywhere for us, and God allowed us to have this new little one through embryo adoption - and again, aren't we so blessed??!! I love for people to ask questions because I love to tell about how we were given our precious children, whether the old fashioned way, or a "new fashioned" way! I honestly don't see what in the world would there ever be to be irritated about.

This is the coolest story ever. I didn't even realize you could adopt embryos. How awesome. Congrats to you and your family!

[SKL]

On a slightly different and lighter note, this morning as I dropped my kids off at school, another parent stuck his head in my car and asked, "where did you get those?"  It took me a second to realize he was not asking about my kids, but about the animal-theme hats they were wearing on their heads.  ;)  So I have to admit that sometimes having an obvious difference in how my family is built, which sometimes does lead to insensitive questions, makes me over-sensitive at times.  :P

[SKL]

OP, (I mean this gently), is it possible that you are a little defensive because some people (who know your past) might think you cannot bear children, when in fact you could and did?

[mytwomonkeys]

If you introduce him as your son, it is obvious he is yours. Whether biologically or through adoption, he is yours. Someone asking questions beyond the obvious introduction of, "This is my child" is rude IMO. I have friends that have two Latino children and they are both Caucasian. I have never asked if their children are theirs. I have never asked if they were adopted. It is none of my business & frankly I find it irrelevant. They are a family. I understand your feeling irritated. Hugs.

[mathmarm]

Yeah, I guess I am just a little touchy. I wasn't too offended but very annoyed by the end of the holiday season. I guess I will have to grow thicker skin.

 

What was offensive was when people commented on Jrs. 'twitchy' fingers and I explained that we use a lot of ASL at home with Jr. and someone, one of my cousins said, "We don't believe in FAD parenting." and launched into a 10 minute tirade against "parenting fads" and how much she disapproves of them, since they are silly, and those parents are insecure, pompous, arrogant and lacking in a million other ways etc...

 

Then I pointed out that ASL, in our household, isn't about a "fad" but the fact that Hubby is a CODA and that in Hubbys family almost every other person is deaf and its no different than teaching a child to speak a heritage language. :glare: I've never gotten along so great with that cousin but now that I have a kid she takes great pains to always, always criticize or put-down any and everything that I do. Our kids are only a few months apart and its going to be a very interesting next 2 decades.

[zoobie]

I'm not offended as I am irritated. Since this is how the standard introduction goes

Me: "This is my son, [sons' name] born in Sept. yadda, yadda, yadda." and then I'm asked

Them: "Oh so did the adoption go through?"

Me: No, Jr. isn't adopted--you remember Hubby, don't you?

Them: "Oh, so is he yours then?"

or something like that. I get it, Jr's different and he doesn't look like me. All of these people know my husband and they know he's of a different race. I understand that they expected me to adopt--I tried several times, but once I point out that MY HUSBAND--Hubby is the father, shouldn't it follow that I'm the mom?

Point at their boobs and ask if they're real. Morons.

[TheBugs]

I got these questions when my twins were babies and I wasn't sure why. "Oh they are so cute, are they twins? Are they yours?" My kids look pretty much like me (pale with freckles, my daughter is a little more olive toned). At first I thought people thought maybe I was the nanny because I was wearing a hijab. My babies looked like "American" babies, but maybe I didn't look as american because of my attire. But another time someone said I looked too young to have two kids (I was 27). That made be laugh out loud. Definitely not too young, but in any event twins come at the same time.

 

I decided that for whateve reason someone asks, not to be offended. I could have been a sister or a friend for all they know. 

[TammyinTN]

People are just stupid, and they say stupid things.  Don't allow anyone to steal your joy.   Just let it roll off your back. 

[Scarlett]

Yeah, I guess I am just a little touchy. I wasn't too offended but very annoyed by the end of the holiday season. I guess I will have to grow thicker skin.

 

What was offensive was when people commented on Jrs. 'twitchy' fingers and I explained that we use a lot of ASL at home with Jr. and someone, one of my cousins said, "We don't believe in FAD parenting." and launched into a 10 minute tirade against "parenting fads" and how much she disapproves of them, since they are silly, and those parents are insecure, pompous, arrogant and lacking in a million other ways etc...

 

Then I pointed out that ASL, in our household, isn't about a "fad" but the fact that Hubby is a CODA and that in Hubbys family almost every other person is deaf and its no different than teaching a child to speak a heritage language. :glare: I've never gotten along so great with that cousin but now that I have a kid she takes great pains to always, always criticize or put-down any and everything that I do. Our kids are only a few months apart and its going to be a very interesting next 2 decades.

Yeah, rude cousins are an entirely different matter!

[mytwomonkeys]

Point at their boobs and ask if they're real. Morons.

That made me snort, lol

[SKL]

I get the twins question all.the.time.  My kids are 7 and people still ask this of me as if my kids were deaf.  (No offense to deaf people.)  WHY do you even want to know?  I mean, some stranger in the line at Disney made it a point to come over and ask "are they twins," and when I said "no" she turned without another word and went about her business.  I was tempted to say, are you doing some sort of twins study or what?  I mean, I find twins fascinating too, but they don't like being singled out any more than anyone else.

 

The twins question I can understand up to a point.  But it's usually followed by, "oh, so they are not sisters?"  UGH.

 

OK, rant over.  :P

[DawnM]

My YOUNGEST is not the same race as we are.

 

My husband likes to answer with, "My first wife was Chinese."

 

I can't believe the number of people who don't get the joke, even with my older two standing right there.

 

We find it very entertaining.

[DawnM]

I sometimes ask people because I have also adopted and love to find other families who have adopted. If people find it rude, well, I can't control that.