Help! Moms of large families, how do you do it?

[A home for their hearts]

I have struggled for years with balancing everything.  I havent been able to find a good rhythm to our day.  School is and has always been very spur of the moment I have time so lets do it now kind of thing.  There is never any rhyme or reason  to when or how things get done.  Can you tell I'm not organized at all?  There has always been a baby and toddler around since we started homeschooling which is why I have never been able to set a schedule and stick to it.  I hadmy 6th baby at the end og Sept.  We havent offically started our school year yet.  I'm hoping to start at the beginning of January and school through thr summer.  As January gets closer I worry more and more that I'm not going to be able to do it.  I need some real sage advice.  How do I teach the children, keep the house running, keep the liitle ones happy, etc???  My head is already spinning!

[Tenaj]

My youngest is four this year and I finally feel like we can get through the school day without it feeling like I'm on the verge of a crisis!  You are in the "thick" of the hard years, be gentle on yourself :)

 

Planning ahead was always key for me, but I am a "box-checker" type of personality.  I use my non-school time to type assignments into Home School Tracker so that I can just feed assignments in each week . . . especially for the older kids . . . that way if one of the youngers is sick or just needing more attention the others can get on with their school work on their own.

 

I also noticed (from your signature, if it's accurate)  that you are using a lot of what I call "mom-dependent" materials.  I'm thinking of All About Spelling, Writer's Jungle, Winston Grammar, Writing Road to Reading . . . that means that the kids can't get any of their school work done without your help.  I would think about what I could do to move as many subjects as possible into a temporarily independent mode.  That way you can give each kid a list and they can go.  You're available to help as needed but they don't need to depend on you for each subject.  I'm not saying get rid of all mom-supervised programs, but maybe pick and choose for little while so that each child has at least a few things they can do on their own.  This was a struggle I had for a long time and I finally recognized that it was o.k. for me to maybe not use the curriculum that I thought was completely ideal  if it stressed me out to try to get it done with so many kids.  We've moved into a lot of independent work which has made the days not feel so busy.  It allows time for me to help in areas where they really need it - like with learning to read and math.

 

Most of my youngers have always spent a lot of time sitting at the table with us (or in a high chair) with things that they only play with during school.  For the toddlers, counting bears and cuisinare rods have been favorites.  Playdough, perler beads as they get toward age 4, colors, markers, scissors and construction paper.  I don't do anything too organized, just give them something "new" each day.  The baby is tougher but I found that if I moved them around a lot (before  they got fussy) I had better luck, so maybe some time in the high chair, in the sling, on the floor, in the exersaucer, in the swing, I just tend to move them around and carry them around a lot until they can walk - some days it worked and some days it didn't.

 

For household chores I use www.motivatedmoms.com.  Like I said, I like to check boxes off.  It gives me a list of specific things to work on when I have a minute so I don't waste time trying to decide what needs done first and if I don't get everything done for a particular week I can tear that page out on Sunday and start a new week without it seeming like I failed :)  The chores will always come back around through the cycle again.  I never did get a real handle on cooking when I had babies in the house.  We ate a lot of spaghetti and toasted cheese with tomato soup.  

 

I just remembered another thing we did when I had a baby a couple of years was to work on a loop schedule. There are lots of posts on the board about this type of system but it worked really well for a season of my life.  It allowed me to never feel like I was slacking too much on one subject because we would managed to hit each subject at least a few times a week.  

 

HTH,

 

 

 

[merry gardens]

Honestly I don't really know. Maybe my standards aren't quite as high. We have lots of educational toys and I read outloud a lot. After my #6 was born, the kids filled my "maternity leave" with so many educational activities that resuming our homeschooling felt like a step down. My olders have gone to high school, which still takes a lot of my time and energy. I conclude that sending a child to school still takes a lot of parental work so that inspires me to keep plugging away at homeschooling my younger kids.

 

I set a start time for prayers in the morning and right after that we start our school work. I pick homeschooling materials with careful attention to what they demand of me, the teacher. And I try to match the needs of my children so that we work effectively. I take advantage of educational opportunities that fall in our laps or that happen to be part of our family experience, (like a new baby is a great opportunity for learning about child development.)

 

The housekeeping goes through stages. Some days I look around and decide the house is too disorganized and we need to organize our environment before we attempt to organize information in our brains--so we clean. I tell myself that is also an educational activity. It makes for much more enjoyable home schooling and we are usually rewarded with finding something someone was missing for school. I sometimes remind myself that the Greek root "schol" (from which we get the words school and scholar) meant leisure, so if the house looks totally neglected we may not have as much time for leisure.

[mommymilkies]

:lol:  Some days we just don't.  I only have 5, but I consider our family "large". My standards and expectations have dropped a LOT.  Some things that help:

 

A loop schedule (like JanOH mentioned)

Massive decluttering

Trusting some subjects will be covered by interests or happenstance-documentaries and games are great for this!

A good vacuum that the kids can push around

Dishing out chores for everyone and making all media dependent on those being done

Keeping a meal rotation of easy meals, or letting an older kid be responsible for cooking lunches, crock pot meals, breakfasts, etc.

Cooking in bulk for leftovers

[A home for their hearts]

Thanks for the advice everyone.  I don't have a lot of time to reply ( baby was happily asleep in my arms for ten minutes, I laid him down and he woke up, ugh)  Could someone give me more info on a what a loop schedule is?

[coffeegal]

I have struggled for years with balancing everything.  I havent been able to find a good rhythm to our day.  School is and has always been very spur of the moment I have time so lets do it now kind of thing.  There is never any rhyme or reason  to when or how things get done.  Can you tell I'm not organized at all?  There has always been a baby and toddler around since we started homeschooling which is why I have never been able to set a schedule and stick to it.  I hadmy 6th baby at the end og Sept.  We havent offically started our school year yet.  I'm hoping to start at the beginning of January and school through thr summer.  As January gets closer I worry more and more that I'm not going to be able to do it.  I need some real sage advice.  How do I teach the children, keep the house running, keep the liitle ones happy, etc???  My head is already spinning!

 

I sit down daily with each child to work through skill subjects, LA, math, and I check science. While I sit down, one of the older children plays with the little 2. Once a week I sit down to discuss content subjects with the older children. If needed I plan the discussion on Saturday mornings and let the younger 3 children watch TV.

 

Also for LA: Mondays- Writing, Tuesdays - Thursdays Grammar & Spelling, Friday - Literature discussion & Writing due

 

Early morning - breakfast, morning chores, relax, drink coffee

9 am - start school. Oldest takes tots for 45 minutes. I sit down with #2. Other 2 children work independently.

9:45 - #2 takes tots. I sit down with #3. Other 2 children work independently.

10:30 - #3 takes tots. I sit down with #4. Other 2 children work independently. 

11:15 - #4 takes tots. I sit down oldest. Other 2 children work independently.

12:00 - Lunch, clean kitchen, tidy house, then quiet time. I collapse with a cup of coffee. The teens usually work independently during this time.

Afternoons - Work with tots, arts & crafts, play dates, putter around the house tidying. The teens keep working. I answer quick questions as they come up.

Dinner - Dinner as a family. After dinner clean kitchen, tidy house, sweep, vacuum, evening chores.

Evening - Relax, put babies to bed, send older children to bed.

 

Saturday mornings, turn on TV. Let the younger 3 children watch cartoons while the older 3 and I discuss history.

[Ellie]

I only have two dc. :-)

 

but a friend who had seven was very organized: All of them got up at the same time, got dressed, made their beds, and went downstairs to breakfast. After they ate, they cleaned the kitchen, and it was not used again until lunch. Then they all had lunch, and the kitchen was cleaned, and it wasn't used again until time for dinner prep. Her homeschooling style was very structured, with all the dc at the kitchen table together.

 

The last time I saw her, the youngest was just an infant, the oldest was 12ish. The infant had some health issues requiring my friend to spend lots of time just sitting and holding the baby. She directed the older dc to do chores and whatnot, from the sofa, without raising her voice, and the dc went about their business. It was very impressive, lol.

[mommymilkies]

https://www.google.com/search?q=well+trained+mind+loop+schedule+site:forums.welltrainedmind.com&rlz=1C1CHMO_enUS561US561&espv=210&es_sm=122

 

Also, I love this blog: http://www.se7en.org.za

[8filltheheart]

School is our number one daily priority. Pretty much no exceptions except health crises. I write daily lesson plans for every child in grades 3 up. My 2nd graders down I record what we do daily....their learning is too unpredictable for me to plan out days/weeks ahead. If I didn't have the time/discipline to create my own daily plans, I would go,with pre-fab plans. I know that w/o plans things don't get done bc life can take over. Plans keep us focused and disciplined. (I just finished writing my kids plans for next week through to the end of Feb.)

 

The kids don't get to do anything else until their daily work is finished. If you had 6really little kids and your oldest was 8, my response would be different. But, your kids are not little. Are they helping in the functioning of your household? Really, only the 3yr old should not be directly contributing to how your daily work is accomplished and depending on the 3 yr old, some are able to be helpful contributors.

 

Either the 14 or 12 yr olds should be responsible for throwing in a load of laundry as soon as they wake up in the morning. The other one can be responsible for getting something into a crockpot. Or you take that responsibility and they take care of the baby. The 9 yr old can make breakfast for the 6 and 3 yr old. The 9 and 6 yr olds and help unload the dishwasher and help put away toys etc. you have lots of helpful hands to make light work.

 

The 9yr old should be able to play with the 3yr old while your work for an hr with the 6 yr old. Then the 6 yr old should be able to play with the 3 yr old while your work for a couple of hours with the 9 yr old. The older 2 should be able to read and do some assignments on their own while you are working with your middle 2. Then spend some time with the 3 yr old while the 9 yr old does independent reading or math, etc. When the 9 yr old finishes, the 9 and 6 yr olds are responsible for playing quietly and playing with the 3 yr old (or if the 3yr old is a self-entertainer or likes to color or play play dough ,etc then let the 3 yr old hang out with you while you work with the 12 or 14 yr old. And thus the day moves forward.

 

You should not be feeling responsible for getting everything done by yourself. But, you definitely should be responsible for making sure everyone is doing their part to make your household function smoothly and that everything that needs to be done is getting done, most especially school. Getting behind at 12 and 14 is not as easily recovered as getting behind at 6 or even 9.

[Jane Elliot]

I have twelve. The youngest is 6yo now and half have graduated (all homeschooled all the way through.) The book, Managers of Their Homes, made all the difference in the world for me. I read it when I had eight dc 10yo and under. For many years, it was the only way we could function. We still use a lot of methods from that book from habit, even though it's not a matter of survival any more. Her other book, Homeschooling With a Meek and Quiet Spirit, is excellent too.

[prairiewindmomma]

In addition to the advice above, I think if you could focus on schoolwork only in the am that that consistency would help you get it done. Leave housework, appointments, etc all for the afternoon. If you can get the littles through am, then your olders can continue and finish their studies in the pm as you put littles down for naps, play with them, do housework, etc.

 

My older two tag team with the littles when I need to do intensive phonics and math with my younger children. My oldest has such a sweet bond with the baby. He is going to be an awesome dad! I schedule phonics time with the K'er for right after my oldest finishes an hour of math--he's needing a break then anyway. Oldest also makes lunch and everybody! has chores.

[Lucy]

I only have four. But all of my friends have at least two more than me and we all pretty much run our day the same way.  Routines!

 

Kids have a "morning routine" that consists of getting dressed, putting away pjs, teeth, hair, make breakfast for themselves and the youngers. 

 

After they eat, it's on to Kitchen routines!  One kid loads/unloads dishes, one wipes the table and sweeps, one does handwashing.  They have the same job for all meals for that day - but the schedule rotates daily. 

 

School starts at 9.  All I 've had to do at this point is get myself fed and ready. 

 

then we do school, me with the littles for the first 1-2 hours doing their work, while the olders do the work they can independently.  I have chosen non-mom-hands-on curriculums for the most part.    I have a daily checkoff schedule (routine!) for each kid that they can do in whatever order they want.  At lunch, sometimes I make it, sometimes the olders do - we have worked to give them a big list of things they can cook themselves.  Again, kitchen routines.  Our kitchen routines took us a long time to get trained in, but OH so worth the effort!  Saved my sanity.  Then I work with the olders on their harder subjects. 

 

As for laundry, I just do a load when it's needed, when I get behind I have a crazy laundry day!  I dump all the clean clothes on the family room floor in a pile and at about 4-5:00 every day (Routines!), I say "Time for a sweep of the house!"  They start at the top floor and "sweep" down through the house putting away all the little things that float during the day.  When done, they sit and grab their own clothes from the pile and go put them away in their room, big ones helping the littles and they dump my clothes on my bedroom floor (which sit there for about two weeks until I can't walk.)  I've timed their "sweep" many times, without laundry it takes about 10-15 minutes, 20 with.  Not bad for a picked up house that is a joy to be in!  Often I will reward their work with a small candy or 5 extra minutes of Wii time.

 

I am by nature totally unorganized.  I never know what day it is.  I can never find my keys.  I grew up not noticing clutter or mess - just moved around it.  But with homeschooling, I have had to force myself to put some structure into my day with these basic routines.  Morning, Kitchen, and 4/5:00 Sweeep.  Life is so much easier!   it may sound like a lot - but it takes hardly any time for them to accomplish.  Oh, and when I had a baby, they were my job, the kids didn't feed them or change them or anything. 

 

Being as laid back as I am, I err on the side of fun of free time, so don't think I'm totally structured!

 

don't forget, you are in the trenches right now!  Littles make life happy and hard.  Don't be hard on  yourself - do what you need to relieve the pressure (Like I changed curriculums to less teacher intensive and I make tons of soup in the crock pot) but be incouraged that your children will be fine - homeschooling will be fine - work your way through the lessons, but smile and enjoy the moment - it gets easier!

[mamakelly]

ITA with the PP who said that you have a lot of mom intensive stuff in your signature. A 14 yo and a 12yo should be able to do most of their work independently IMO. I have 14 and nearly 12, and they check in with me, but most of their work is on their own. Maybe look for some different curriculum that might be more independent?

[Melissa in Australia]

I only have 5, and I know that the more children added the trickier it all can become.

 

 In my family I view schooling as the utmost priority. I had chosen to remove my children from school and teach them so teaching them trumps everything else - including housework. All my children know that when they get up , they eat breakfast doo their morning chore and get straight into their schoolwork. If they finish their schoolwork fast they will have time for their own thing. if they dawdle and muck around instead of doing their schoolwork then they can sit at their desk all day. I have also found that with my children having a long break makes it really hard on me to get them back into the routine.

 

If for some reason we have had to have a break of a month or longer ( we haven't actually done longer than a month) I run a reading competition, with prizes of little things like stamps, pencils, books or a  small chocolate bars  for reaching a specific number of books. the  books have to be at or slightly below reading level, no reading way way below reading level unless it is read aloud to a younger sibling. it is amassing how willing  to read my book loathing children become with a reading competition. Then after the break we might ease back slowly, do Reader, Math, English subjects only then the following week add in the history and science etc.

 

M children are all older now and get more supervising than teaching in most subjects. this has lead to  a cleaner house

[Scuff]

I'm starting to feel like I have it together.  :huh:  maybe. ;)  So, you gotta have a plan. The babies will change the plan every day, so it'll be flexible. But, you have to at least start with one. ;)   Also, think about your curriculum choices and what your kids can do independently. So, we start the day with a Bible reading all together. Then, ds gets on the computer for math (EPGY) and writing (WWS2). The older girls and I do grammar (MCT) together and then they work on math and reading. The babies are with us for most of this. I'm working on them sitting quietly (lol) for Bible and then playing quietly at the table with us during grammar. For math and reading, the babies play in their room. I explain a portion of work to the big girls and give them a 15 minute goal, then watch the babies. We keep at that until lunch. After lunch and a break, including nap and quiet time for mom, we come back together for science and history. 

[merry gardens]

ITA with the PP who said that you have a lot of mom intensive stuff in your signature. A 14 yo and a 12yo should be able to do most of their work independently IMO. I have 14 and nearly 12, and they check in with me, but most of their work is on their own. Maybe look for some different curriculum that might be more independent?

Not all 12 or 14 year olds can work independently. I would say that is the exception and not the rule. I understand what you and other people are saying about mom intensive materials, and I do that too when possible--but it is also important to match the materials to each child's needs. I use some very mom intensive materials because sometimes that's what is needed. Programs like Winston Grammar and AAS might be fantastic choices for a child with learning struggles who are not able to work independently.

 

I think the real trick to managing a large family is learning to know yourself and to know each child. While it is good to learn from how other moms and other families manage, if we compare ourselves to them too much, we may be setting ourselves up for failure. Set reasonable and achievable goals.

[FO4UR]

I'm seeing the light at the end of a rough patch here.  I did some switching to materials that don't require any planning by me wherever possible.  

 

I switched to a math that I can hand the kids, all at the table at the same time, raise your hand when you have a question.  The two big kids do 90% of their math independently right now, the 7yo needs me about 75%.  Math may not be my idealistic view of perfection, but it's getting done daily...and they extend math into their free time with Khan Academy and Life of Fred and games and such.

 

I was essentially writing spelling/dictation lessons for ds10 daily.  I put him back into Apples & Pears (completely scripted!) and backed him up (he's my dyslexic one...he needs easy and repetitive this year).

 

I do a lot of assigning a chapter to read and an oral narration.  (For a 12/14yo, I would simply change that to a written narration.)

 

 

The details will look different for your group of children, but look at each one and ask which subjects they could do independently?...which subjects can you get scripted?  Even though I'm right there at school time, it's so much easier to get through the school day when the materials drive the lesson (instead of me).

 

 

For the house, I am strict about food in the kitchen, toys in the playroom, clothes in the hamper, etc, etc, etc...  I still end up with a mess, but it's less than it would be.

 

 

For the baby, get a nice carrier...like an Ergo or a Moby.  I can get a lot done with baby in the Ergo. She used to sleep through most of our school, right on my chest. She rides on my back while I do things she can't get into now (science! cooking!). Invest some $$$ in a nice one that is actually comfy. It's worth every penny.

[rogerskevin67]

I do agree that its really difficult to handle all things at a time. Hats off to all mom especially large family mom.

[Willa]

I have 7 but 4 are now adults.  You are in the most difficult years.   Any schedule will have to be flexible because of the baby and the toddler.

 

Some things that helped me:

 

--Reading to the older kids all together while the baby nursed.  We did a LOT of reading aloud.

 

--Having a preschool box for the little ones for their "school" -- with manipulatives, puzzles, dot to dots, etc.    That was their work, so if they were at loose ends, I would tell them to do something from the school box.  

 

--Working with the school-age children in turns, starting with the youngest, and working up to the oldest (who could do more on his own) -- if I didn't get to one of the children during the day, he was top priority the next day.   That kept the basics going.

 

-- Focusing on the basics --- reading and math particularly.   If the kids learned how to read, they could read on their own.   If we did math daily I felt like everything else they could catch up on later if necessary.    In later years, writing became more important, but we did a lot of informal writing -- stories and blogs and such.  

 

-- Thinking of the baby and toddler as an ongoing life lesson for our whole family.   The older children learned a LOT by having little siblings.     I had to keep that in mind especially when the little ones disrupted the academic flow.   

 

--An enriched home with lots of books and educational supplies, as others have mentioned.   The children learned constantly.

 

--  Older kids helping with the chores.   Once a week we had a half school day and we cleaned the house -- the other days they had maintenance and mealtime chores.

 

-- Teaching preschoolers to be able to play on their own for a certain amount of time.    Once in a while, I would just put the little one in a high chair with snacks or craft supplies so I could focus on teaching an older.    I didn't rely heavily on this but there were times it was useful.  

 

I found this article:  HOmeschooling a Wide Age Range -- a few years ago and read it again almost every year.  

Here's another one http://chfweb.com/articles/week29.htm.   Both from a Christian perspective FYI.   

 

 

 

 

 

 

[HS Mom in NC]

Remember that running a household and teaching academics are two different skill sets that are integrated in a homeschooler's life. So, read up on the art and science of homeschooling multi-ages and the art and science of household management in a family-especially a larger one.

 

 

This might help. My detailed comment is the last one.

http://forums.welltrainedmind.com/topic/447289-not-handling-the-multi-ages-very-well/

 

 

Now that I have 2 in college, I completely agree that not only can most 12 and 14 year olds do a significant chunk of schooling independently, they need to be doing some independently.

[Shellydon]

For us, school is THE priority and everything else is second.  School happens in the morning and all other things(house work etc.) get pushed to the afternoons.  Since your school has been done haphazardly until now, your older kids may not be as independent as they should be or may be behind in school.  If it were me, my focus would be to catch them up and/or get them doing most of their school independently.   Here is a blog post on using binders to get school organized http://gratefulforgrace.com/2013/08/how-to-use-binders-and-individualize-lesson-plans-for-biblioplan-or-my-fathers-world/

 

Here is a blog post of a mom with 6 kids -- she blogs their school days for 10 days.  This might help you get a feel for how other do it. http://gratefulforgrace.com/2013/01/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-homeschooler-day-1/

 

 

[Melissa in Australia]

For us, school is THE priority and everything else is second.  School happens in the morning and all other things(house work etc.) get pushed to the afternoons.  Since your school has been done haphazardly until now, your older kids may not be as independent as they should be or may be behind in school.  If it were me, my focus would be to catch them up and/or get them doing most of their school independently.   Here is a blog post on using binders to get school organized http://gratefulforgrace.com/2013/08/how-to-use-binders-and-individualize-lesson-plans-for-biblioplan-or-my-fathers-world/

 

Here is a blog post of a mom with 6 kids -- she blogs their school days for 10 days.  This might help you get a feel for how other do it. http://gratefulforgrace.com/2013/01/a-day-in-the-life-of-a-homeschooler-day-1/

 

:iagree: And a child that is 14 only has about 3-4 years before they are finished with secondary education. I have found that once the child hits early tens it becomes a race against time to teach them everything I have planned. The teen years FLY by.

[Lisa in the UP of MI]

We're expecting #6 and my oldest is in 4th grade.  Having a good routine is key to a productive day.  I use a mom-made check-off sheet everyday and have found that we get much less done without it.  We use a lot of mom intensive curricula as well.  My 4th grader has been gaining some independence in the last year or so.

 

Our routine does change depending on whether we have a baby or toddler and their current nap routine.  Once I have naps, meals, snacks, and outside activities (we have very few of these) marked down I schedule school around them.  Other than combined work (world cultures, zoology, and read alouds) my 2nd grader and kindergartener just have a short list of religion, math, and language arts work.  Once breakfast and morning chores (clean-up, get dressed, and teeth) are done, we get started.  We try to get most of our work done in the morning, minus the combined work and dd's extra history and science.  Then in the afternoon we do anything we didn't finish in the morning as well as combined work and dd's extra work.  There are seasons where we get less done, but we work on school as much as we can.

 

I know a lot of people take time off after a new baby is born, but I find it to be counter-productive for us.  Getting back to our normal routine as much as we can helps to keep us all sane, as well as continuing to get our work done.  I do freeze meals ahead of time so that I don't have to do much for dinner and dh helps more with chores, but we get back to our (mostly) normal daily school routine when baby is 1 week old.  I don't push us to get a certain amount done, just work whenever the baby, toddler, etc. doesn't need me.

[LMV]

I have an amazing husband who is an even more amazing father!

 

Seriously, for us being very organized generally helps.  Neither DH or I are neurotic about it to the point where we can't let go in a few essential moments when it just has to happen and it cuts down on so much of the day to day chaos.  We also always have at least a loose plan B as a back up in case the unexpected happens and occasionally it does because we both work part time outside the home.  

[A home for their hearts]

Thanks everyone for your encouragement and advice. I realize I have a lot of teacher intensive curriculums.  I've been trying to decide which ones I can make more independent.  My dd14 would be the one who could work more independently.  She struggles with math the most so that I will have to work with her.  I'm thinking of using Apple Daily Spelling Drills for her for spelling.  Her spelling is horrible.  My ds12 has struggled with reading, and things like grammar are hard for him to understand which is why we are using Winston Grammar.  My ds9 is still learning to read, he had really struggled, we are still working on cvc words so he can't do much by himself.  Getting kids to work independently my help but not if they are ready, and some of mine just aren't ready yet.

 

 

[mamakelly]

My dd14 would be the one who could work more independently.  She struggles with math the most so that I will have to work with her.  I'm thinking of using Apple Daily Spelling Drills for her for spelling.  Her spelling is horrible. 

 

I switched my terrible speller to Phonetic Zoo this year, and it's been great for her. It moves at their own pace, and she's completely independent with it.

 

I also switched her to Teaching Textbooks for math. I know it's controversial here, LOL. It was such a great switch for us. She loves it, and it's taken a lot of the stress out of math for both of us.

[A home for their hearts]

I switched my terrible speller to Phonetic Zoo this year, and it's been great for her. It moves at their own pace, and she's completely independent with it.

 

I also switched her to Teaching Textbooks for math. I know it's controversial here, LOL. It was such a great switch for us. She loves it, and it's taken a lot of the stress out of math for both of us.

 

I've actually been considering using Teaching Textbooks.  We used it a few years ago and my oldest dd liked it.  We alsohave used phonetic zoo but it didnt work for us.

 

Any suggestions for an independent grammar curriculum for my dd14?

[laughing lioness]

Make use of educational producs that run themselves- CD's (Classical Conversations, etc), books on tape, vidoes, computer games, on-line classes. The homeschooling market is so RICH right now. I started 2 p.t. jobs this fall, in addition to product testing and writing reviews/ product launches. I've been maxed. The kids have listened to SOTW, done IXL, Spelling/ Vocab City , RS German and  a class on-line, listened to a ton of books on CD, watched ed videos, etc. They are also memorizing the VP Bible cards - all basically on their own. I know you have lot sof littles, but your older ones can do some of this stuff on their own.

The SOTW CD's, IEW poetry memory, CC memory CD's are all worth their weight in gold and homeschool must-haves. Play them often, till your kids can recite them back- add in some math and grammar and you have a more than solid eled foundation.

 

True Confessions- they've also played MineCraft and Empires at war a lot, but they've read tons of good books, too. We do co-op - art, music, unit study- once a week- done.

 

It doesn't all HAVE to be taught by you to count as school. If I make a list for the day, they get 10x's more done, than if I don't.

[8filltheheart]

The only spelling program that has helped my poor dyslexic speller is Apples and Pears.  It isn't independent, but neither is it time consuming.

 

FWIW, I disagree that the problem is time intensive materials.   I spend at minimum of an hr w/each of my kids every day, some longer, some doubled up with another child, but I am not a believer in older kids completing all of their school work on their own.   Some yes.   But, I can't imagine much depth of understanding w/o at least some sort of discussion or engagement.  

 

I really believe the issue is time management.   Your older kids definitely should be helping out with household management.   They should also be able to do some of their work on their own while you work with others.   You can rotate back and forth between kids.   You can sit beside one to be available to assist if necessary while working with another.  (for example, sitting beside your 9 yr old or 6 yr old while they work on math problems while your 12 or 14 yr old might be doing spelling dictation or grammar instruction, etc.)

 

It takes experimenting to figure out what combos work, but you should be able to find some sort of rhythm that works for your family.

 

 

[alef]

I have five kids and the oldest is ten, so my family is smaller than yours--but I understand the struggles of dealing with babies and toddlers underfoot. The key to getting school done here is having my older children work independently as much as possible. We use checklists or other accountability programs (Accountable Kids works well around here). The kids have morning, daytime, and evening tasks, and privileges (around here, that means pretty much anything other than housework/schoolwork) are earned by completing assigned tasks by set deadlines. They don't have too much assigned on any one day, my goal is just to get them through what needs to be done so they can enjoy their free time. Tasks include both household tasks (ten year old sweeps the kitchen and entryway floors and unloads the dishwasher, eight year old loads breakfast dishes and wipes down/sweeps main bathroom everyday) and school tasks. Older kids can be assigned to help younger ones with schoolwork, or to play with the baby, or read to a toddler. Also, we school year round--that takes some of the pressure off as we have more time to get through our schoolwork for the year, and we don't have to deal with getting back into a routine after a break.

 

It's not ideal. My eight year old could use a lot more of my attention than he gets, especially for math. Sometimes my husband will sit down and work with him in the evenings. Sometimes we have to compromise--we have an idealized vision of how homeschool should be, and if we can't manage that we're discouraged from doing anything at all. My goal has become to get SOMETHING done every day, even when I am suffering from morning sickness or have a new baby or just moved or people are sick. I have a mental priority list of subjects, and try to do at least something from one of the top priority items every day. If the kids are used to the idea of doing a page of math, for example, every day--they expect and accept it just as they accept brushing their teeth every day. And sometimes that is all that happens, but we have 52 weeks to work with and we do fit most things in somewhere.

[Jane Elliot]

FWIW, I disagree that the problem is time intensive materials....

 

I really believe the issue is time management....  

 

It takes experimenting to figure out what combos work, but you should be able to find some sort of rhythm that works for your family.

 

Yes, this is exactly what I've been thinking. Certainly, finding teaching materials that are less time intensive, maybe more open-and-go, is helpful, but the reality is that if school isn't the number one priority everyday, then no amount of adjusting the curriculum is going to help.

 

Putting a routine on paper, and then waking up every single weekday and thinking that educating these children is my first goal and top priority, is what works for our homeschool. This means that on school days we do school first, even if the house needs cleaned (I like to clean), the phone is ringing (I like talking to my grown kids), we have appointments (I always schedule these for late afternoon), dinner needs made (we can have eggs and toast), friends want to get together....

[mamakelly]

 

Any suggestions for an independent grammar curriculum for my dd14?

 

Is she 8th or 9th? I'm using Analytical Grammar with my 14 yo DS. We use the DVD. I'm using it as a review. My goal for him in 9th grade is better writing skills. I'm not worried so much about grammar. He has a pretty decent handle on it.

[Moxie]

Whoa! I only have 5 kids and no serious special needs. You have A LOT on your plate!

 

Said gently, you do have a lot of posts on here looking for help for big issues. Maybe it is time for some big changes??

 

Do you have any outside help?

Relatives that can step in to watch the littles?

Maybe the 14yo could go to school so you could focus on the 12yo and 9yo?

Maybe the 6yo could go to Kindergarten and the 3yo could go to pre-school while you do intensive work with the olders??

 

There is nothing wrong with admitting that you can't do it all. None of us can! DH and I are currently weighing all our options for next year because this job is HUGE!

[Rosyl]

I only have 4, but I agree with the fact that routines are a must.

 

Keep it simple.

 

Take care of yourself.  Sleep, Exercise, get dressed for the day.

 

Set routines for basic household routines.  Routines make one get into the habit of doing, so there is less of a struggle.  Over the summer we added something new every week until we had the full plan in motion.  I have told my kids I can't simplify these routines any further--it is as easy as it gets.lol

 

7 am up dressed, eat, pets TLT M

830 school

11 lunch

12 school

4oclock chores TLT M 

5 dinner

8 baths 9 bed final TLT M

 

 

T rash

L aundry

T oys

M iscellanious

 

 

 

I recently shifted from mom intensive curriculum to curriculum that helps them to be independent.

I have dyslexic and dysgraphic kids (2 of them, the older ones). 

 

Apples IS VERY helpful. 5-10 min

 

Easy Grammar is EASY. 5-10 min

 It is repetitive and works well.  I have found EG is easy enough to teach everyone the same thing at the same time and that makes it easier to think because there isn't any stopping to try to remember where each child is in their booka nt what topic, etc.  EX  All start with prepositions, but the youngers have less prepositions to learn.  I have my 14 year old doing the jr. high book because he had never done EG and when I had him start the high school daily book, we were unclear what they were expecting.  I was having to teach, when he was expected to already know.  There was no harm or foul in putting him in the lower book.

 

I am another one who switched to TT and the great thing is that it tells you what you have done wrong at each problem.  One does not have to do an entire lesson wrong  to find out they have made a habit of doing wrong.  If I had had this option when I was in school, I might have liked algebra.  (I doubt it, but maybe).

 

I dropped literature based history/science.  I love the idea of it!  I love the theory of it!  in my family it doesn't work.  It is more fun to pick a book and read it for the joy of reading to the kids, not because we have to get it done. I also don't want to spend time shifting books.  Time is precious.

 

[bbcooker]

Cleaning up the kitchen after meals like this ( http://oliveus.tv/kitchen-clean-up-dance-party/ )has really helped us.  We don't use music, but I do insist that no one leaves the kitchen till it's all done and dishes are done too.  It helps our day to keep moving along. 

 

Here's some more ideas for you:

* I do some with the bigs before bkfst before the littles are up.

* I do something school-ish orally with every meal/snack at the table while the kids eat.

* When we work do school in the morning and afternoon, we cycle through 'stations'.  I have dc #1 do AAS with me, dc #2 do LOF independently, and dc #3 do quiet reading, and the littles have assigned independent activities too.  It helps me to have only 1 dc to work with at a time, and the others to be independent while I work with the one.  But this means most our activities need to be independent.  

* I have only 1 or 2 mom-dependent activities per dc per day. I can't handle more than this.

 

[happypamama]

Babywearing! Do you have a sling or wrap or something, and if not, can you get one? Many, if not all, of my babies have been far better sleepers in a wrap than in a bed. My current infant doesn't usually sleep well in my arms, even; he really wants to be all wrapped up against me. He'll sleep several hours straight in a wrap; I have to take him out to get him to eat! Otherwise, we have the "lay him on the bed, and he sleeps for ten minutes" thing too.

 

I try never to waste sleep times. If there is something I can do one-handed while nursing, I don't do that something while the baby is sleeping (leaving me two free hands) or while someone else is holding him.

 

Can you get some meals into the freezer on the weekends to use during the busy days? This has been very helpful to me.

[VinNY]

" School is and has always been very spur of the moment I have time so lets do it now kind of thing.  There is never any rhyme or reason  to when or how things get done.  "

 

I am raising 8 kids. Homeschooling for over 17 years with 2 college grads, another in college. Some went to B&M high school, 2 homeschooled through high school. I have a special needs dtr.  Another child was a late reader/speaker but now taking honor classes at high school, (he has APD/dyslexic symptoms). Children that don't learn quickly can be emotionally draining and time consuming. They need intensity of instruction though. Please get help for them.

 

I quoted you above and since you asked how some mothers of large families do it, I can only reply honestly that I did the opposite of you. School was every day even if I started at 10. My oldest always began the morning early (around 7 or so) on her Saxon Math (not the best but it did the job). I always worked from the youngest to the oldest, followed a syllabi from an accredited school (that was my rhyme and reason)  and made sure there were a lot of books and crafts to do in house. I never took long breaks after having the baby. I schooled on the couch or in my bed (even if it was for a 1/2 hr) we did some thing. When they were all young, I schooled 3 weeks on , one week off to catch up on lessons missed and housework/appointments. As they got older I switched that to 4 weeks on 1 week off. My special needs dtr was schooled 5-6 mornings a week year round except for illnesses and Christmas.  Also periodically I hired a housecleaner. 

 

You need to be honest with yourself and ask how you spend your time or how you like to spend your time. Listen not everyone likes to do this homeschooling thing and that is OK. But your oldest is 14 and as someone who personally knows children of homeschooling families who didn't school consistently, it makes their life more difficult.  Please start with the two oldest children today. Start them at a math and language level that they can do just to get them into a good habit. I wish you and your family the best. Things can turn around but it starts with today not January.

[A home for their hearts]

I would like to go through and respond to some specific posts but I dont have time.  I really appreciate everyone's honesty.  Things have never been easy but I am committed to seeing this through.  I really liked Seekinghim45's schedule.  It's a little more doable than Managers of Their Home which I tried a few years ago and it made things more stressful than helpful.  This week I'm going to focus on getting into a routine then next week start with my eldest's school work. 

 

I do have a Moby Wrap however this baby doesnt seem to like it or the pacifier.  He sleeps well if I'mholding him sometimes I can get a few minutes if he's in his carseat but I'm usually stuck holding him all day.  This is how all of my babies have been which is what lead to the 'spur of the moment, hurry up let's do something while the baby is sleepo\ing system'  I do realize it is nit a good system and that's why I've asked for help.  My older two dc do help with the baby a lot.  They love holding and playing with him.  They also help with the housework.  I feel really quilty about the amount of help I require from them. 

 

I saw someone was concerned about my dd14 not having done any school yet this year.  I do want to ease some of your concerns, we are planning on schooling through the summer.  She turned 14 in August and would be 8th grade.

 

I'lltry to come back and post more later.

[Moxie]

I admire being committed to seeing it through. Just really look at your situation and make sure homeschooling is the best thing for your children. I'm not one of those people who think it always is best. Ymmv.

[HS Mom in NC]

I would like to go through and respond to some specific posts but I dont have time.  I really appreciate everyone's honesty.  Things have never been easy but I am committed to seeing this through.  I really liked Seekinghim45's schedule.  It's a little more doable than Managers of Their Home which I tried a few years ago and it made things more stressful than helpful.  This week I'm going to focus on getting into a routine then next week start with my eldest's school work. 

 

I do have a Moby Wrap however this baby doesnt seem to like it or the pacifier. 

 

There are different types of slings available.  I had a Taylor Made Treasures (google it)  type sling that can put the baby in 6 different positions.  Does you Moby Wrap allow for different positioning?  If not, I suggest getting a sling with more flexibility.

 

He sleeps well if I'mholding him sometimes I can get a few minutes if he's in his carseat but I'm usually stuck holding him all day.  This is how all of my babies have been which is what lead to the 'spur of the moment, hurry up let's do something while the baby is sleepo\ing system'  I do realize it is nit a good system and that's why I've asked for help. 

 

Granted you've only written a few sentences on this, which isn't much to go on, but I interpret this as a passive mindset instead of an active mindset.  It seems like you're waiting for lots of things to line up on their own before you start schooling and if they don't, you don't do school. I think that may be the root of the problem if my assumptions are right (I know they may not be.) You need to be more strategic and proactive rather than spontaneous and reactive.

 

I don't think it's possible to successfully homeschool kids in a reasonably calm, orderly, thorough way without actively structuring different aspects of academics and household management to some degree.  The bigger the family the truer that is.   While there is a role for spontaneity, I don't think it should play a major role most of the time.  Most of my close friends have 4-12 children (the family of 12 has 7 severe special needs kids and has homeschooled all the way through) and all of them are more on the structured side to varying degrees.  Most of our homeschool mom chit chat is about household management and schooling as efficiently as possible.  

 

My background with household management

 

I grew up on a farm with 3 older brothers and was taught to help work and to manage a household at an early age. We weren't homeschooled but we did have to do lots of chores (far more than people in urban and suburban environments) and we were taught to manage our time and keep things running smoothly. My mother's stated and achieved goal was that we could run the entire place ourselves doing everything necessary by the time we were 12 in case anything every happened to her.

 

My experience homeschooling with a  high need baby

 

 I only have 3 kids, but my youngest (now 8) arrived in the US at 7 months old when my older two were 7 and 9.  She needed to be held almost all the time for about a year because if I put her down she screamed.  She couldn't sleep for more than an hour and a half at a stretch for about 3 months-I'm not talking about just naptime.  I'm talking around the clock. Then she couldn't sleep for more than a few hours at a time for several months. She stopped napping sometime when she was an older 2 year old like my older two did.  

 

If I had waited for her to fall asleep to do school with my older two it would never have gotten done. I had her in a sling or sitting on my lap while I worked with the older two.  She was always in the same room with us at all times because that's what traumatized children grieving lost bonds and building new ones need.  I would work individually with the older ones from the couch with baby awake on my lap or playing near my feet.  It was harder than waiting until she was asleep, but neglecting academics in my older children has serious consequences later on.  Better to get through easier math early on with a little one around than cramming higher math in a year or two before college-or worse, never getting to higher math at all.  Think long term.

 

When it came to working on their own we usually followed these guidelines and adapted as needed: 

 

 

1. The oldest child gets my attention first.  What they have is most challenging and they're best able to work on their own, so investing the time up front to get them up and running has the best pay off for them and me. Then the next oldest child gets my attention for the same reasons. And so on.

 

2.  If they couldn't read the directions, I read the directions word for word to them or if I was making up the assignment, I told them what I wanted them to do.  If they could read the directions, I had them read them to me word for word. Then I had them paraphrase the written directions from the assignment or the oral directions I gave them on the assignment I made up to see if they really understood.

 

3. If there was an example given I had them describe the example to me.  If they couldn't describe the example, I asked prompting questions.  For example: "Does this example add, subtract, multiply or divide?"  "What parts of speech are underlined in this example?" "What are the most important facts this summary focuses on?" "What did they do first? Why?  What did they do next?" My questions were leading them through the thought process I wanted them to eventually be able do on their own when they were more independent.  The only way they could get there was by me demonstrating for a time so they could learn by my example what to do later. A few kids can do that intuitively-most have to be taught it explicitly.

 

If they're very young, you may need to explain one assignment in one subject and send them off then explain the next assignment in the next subject when they've completed the first.  If they can handle that with no problem, then explain the assignments for 2 subjects and send them off.  If that goes smoothly most of the time, explain all the day's assignments in each subject and send them off.  If they get stuck on one, they can do the others until you're free to have one on one time with them later.  This is an excellent skill set for finishing academic assignments, taking tests, cleaning a house, running a business, running a farm, completing a complex task, etc.

 

Then I send them off to do it on their own in the same room I'm in, or if theyre a little more independent, in the next room where I can still see if they were actually doing it or if they were distracted. Eventually they didn't have to be in my field of vision. I told them almost daily at first that if they got stuck, they were responsible for coming to me and asking me for help. Choosing not to ask for help when stuck was categorized and dealt with the same as choosing not to do the assignment at all.   They needed to start being more responsible for their own schooling and this was the first step.

 

4. They were responsible for bringing assignments back to me when completed when they were elementary and Jr. High aged.  Choosing not to bring it back when completed was dealt with the same way as if they chose not to do the assignment at all.  It wasn't done until I said it was done.  I looked it over immediately (there were a few exceptions to immediately, but not many.) Corrections were noted and the child was sent back to fix it.  I didn't have time to put it somewhere for me to check it later and then have them fix it later.  That had to happen as soon as humanly possible or it wouldn't get done. 

 

Having a back up plan that counts as school

 

Having high quality assigned reading as a back up can be a good filler for the times that you can't get immediately to a child who is stuck, but they're getting something very worthwhile that isn't dependent on you. Choosing something relevant to what they're learning in history or science can kill two birds with one stone. Or, you can have them read wonderful literature. They can summarize and discuss the reading with you later at your convenience.  If you see a child doing nothing productive ask them, "What should you be doing now?" Make them answer out loud so they have no excuse like, "I didn't know what I was supposed to do."

 

A back up plan for the back up plan

 

When all else fails, the kid can work on a  chore during the gap until mom is free.  If the chore chart is posted, there's no need for them to ask you what they should be doing until you're free and you don't have to figure it out on the spot. They should never see themselves as having nothing to do during school hours if they can read or if they are old enough to do chores. Again, idle children should be asked, "What should you be doing right now?"  Make them responsible for figuring it out, finding out, and saying it out loud when they're older.  This creates a less passive mindset and puts them in a more active mindset.

 

Curriculum that supports independence

 

By the time mine were 13 or so, they could do almost of their formal logic, writing and history on their own.  Choosing curriculum geared directly to the student like Writing With Skill by Bauer and the formal logic series by Cothran was appropriate for their development and freed me up for working with my youngest.  My older two each had a file folder for every week of the school year (36 total) with all assignments for the week in each subject and a hard deadline of Friday at 3:00.  I chose things that had answer keys or helpful rubrics so I could go to Starbucks or lie in bed  and check it without much trouble.  I physically disassembled the workbooks and study guides and put them in the appropriate folder.  I also had a list on hand of what each kid was supposed to be doing each week in each subject in case something mysteriously disappeared-eventually something does.

 

Some homeschooling curriculum has an instructor teaching the lessons on DVD and have workbooks.  You may want to look into those. 

 

Spend your mom dependent time wisely

 

Read alouds (in whatever subject) and math demonstrations were what my husband and I spent most of our parent dependent time talking them through and demonstrating for them. Once they understood it from our one on one time  they could do a lot of the assignments independently.  My husband did math and science with them in the evenings a couple times a week and one weekend day when they got to high school levels. The older two are 2 years apart and were grouped together when possible.

 

Routines and Schedules

 

We run our house by principles that apply universally like, "Work first, then play."  "Everyone helps with chores." "You got it out, you put it away." Work is school and chores.  We start our day with school.  No one school aged does anything else other than school during school hours. Everything I did during that time was teaching school or keeping school running smoothly.  I did that with a baby in tow. Stopping to comfort a screaming baby keeps school running smoothly. I did lots of read alouds with a baby on my lap or near me playing with the larger math manipulatives,  her toys, or whatever I had to do to keep her from grabbing the book or crying.  She was rarely sleeping when we did it.

 

Chores are for almost everyone almost every day

 

One big cultural problem in America is that parents don't think thier children need to be doing daily and weekly chores.  These parents are tragically wrong. These children are not as prepared for life as the children whose parents do make demands of them. Their households suffer a lower quality of life because of it. Their future bosses, clients, spouses and children will have better relationships with them if you do teach your children to contribute fully and regularly as a matter or course.

 

When school is done it's time for chores.  Our opening ceremony for chores is everyone picking up their own things and straightening up any messes they made themselves.  Then they do the assigned chores for that day and a weekly chore assigned for that day.

 

My kids start doing chores at 2-3.  After I unload the dishwasher of breakables and sharp objects they put the plastic items in each appropriate plastic bin in the lower kitchen cabinets: plates, cups, bowls, utensils.  They also have to pick up and put away what they got out and put their laundry away.  I had pictures of what clothes went into which drawers taped onto each drawer.  I have successfully taught 3 different children to put their clothes on hangers at age 3. They did it along side me for a while, then they did it at my instruction on their own.

 

Straighten Up Often

 

If my child has the manual dexterity to get something out, she has the manual dexterity to put it away.  Lots of straighten up times with  littles are usually better throughout the day than one or two big jobs. We had the before lunch straighten up, the after school straighten up, the before dinner straighten up, and the before bed straighten up in addition to chores.

 

The preschool years are spent with me teaching them how to vacuum with a canister vacuum, scrub bathrooms, sweep floors, wash mirrors/windows, dust, sort and put away laundry, mop and the like.  By 6 they should be able to do those chores properly on their own because they did them alongside mom at 4-5. Chores like cleaning the bathroom had a checklist of all the small tasks that make up cleaning the bathroom when they were younger.

 

Meal planning

 

If you don't already meal plan, you should start.  Nothing is as frustrating and stressful as the 4: 30 pm dinner panic.  Start by planning and shopping for all the meals for 3-4 days at a stretch.  Save and label the meal plans and accompanying grocery lists for the next month.  When you've got that down for a month or two, try planning for a week using your old 3-4 day meal plans and grocery lists.  If that's humming along well most of the time, try for 2 weeks but plan to get produce for each week because it goes bad so quickly. 

 

The oldest helped with the baby/toddler/preschooler while my middle daughter helped with the grocery shopping until the middle one was a little older then she and I each got half the list and our own cart and got it done in half the time.  Shopping for 2 weeks is a long trip to the grocery store.The middle and youngest are a bad combination one on one for a long time.   Sometimes the older one and I did the shopping together while the middle one was at home and the youngest was old enough to watch a movie while dad worked from home.  Use screen time strategically.

 

Get all your recipes for the half week, full week or two weeks in one convenient place, ready to go so you don't have to hunt them down in different books or recipe boxes.  Lean heavily toward recipes that the kids can help with food prep, can be cooked in the crock pot, or are easy to make.

 

Meal times

For meals everyone one helps clear the table, put refrigerated items away and throw paper napkins away or put cloth ones in the hamper and such.  Then the assigned, posted chore chart kicks in: It's someone's job to scrape the food off the dishes.  It's someone else's job to load the dishwasher. It's someone else's job to hand wash any dishes that can't go in the dishwasher.  It was someone's job to set the table.  It was someone's job to unload the dishwasher. It's someone's job to wipe down the stove and counters.

 

Chore chart-bringer of order and calm

 

We have a chore chart with assigned chores for the month and they rotate between all the kids so everyone can master every chore.  I have high expectations for what young children are able to do.  There are daily chores and a weekly chore for M-F when the kids are younger. We don't usually do chores on the weekend, but the weekend may make more sense for some people.

 

Their jobs are posted next to their names on the large calendar on the refrigerator so even if I'm not there directing traffic, dad knows who should be doing what. I don't usually tell them what they should be doing.  I ask them, "What are your responsibilities?"  I wait for a detailed answer.  If they don't know, I ask them, "What's listed on the calendar for you?"  I don't get up and find out-THEY DO if they can read. Since my older two (16 and almost 18) are in college, they have more chores stacked up on fewer days of the week as it works with their school schedules.

 

I plan chores for each month of the the next year when I get a new calendar in late Fall. I do it in pencil in case I have to tweak it, but I usually don't have to make major changes.  Everyone old enough to do chores (whether they're learning them alongside mom or they're doing them independently) rotates monthly through the list. 

 

No one watches tv, plays video or board games, get online, goes to a friend's house, has a friend over, reads for pleasure, creates something or contemplates their belly buttons until all their daily chores and that day's weekly chore are done properly. When school and chores are done, we can all enjoy our down time to its full extent.

 

Laundry

 

I used to do one laundry day one day a week.  Everyone brought in the laundry and helped sort it.  I ran it through the washer and drier, then the second the drier buzzer went off, everyone dropped what they were doing (including math) and put their own laundry away.  Then they helped put away communal laundry like cleaning rags, kitchen towels, bath towels, etc. 

 

Now they do their own laundry and they help as needed with communal laundry.

 

My older two dc do help with the baby a lot.  They love holding and playing with him. 

 

They also help with the housework.

 

 

  I feel really quilty about the amount of help I require from them. 

 

I saw someone was concerned about my dd14 not having done any school yet this year.  I do want to ease some of your concerns, we are planning on schooling through the summer.  She turned 14 in August and would be 8th grade.

 

I'lltry to come back and post more later.

 

 

 

[happypamama]

If you have him lying down in the Moby, I would try putting him more upright. Also, he may want to curl his legs together more, so if you can keep them tucked up, he might like that better (if you're currently trying to get his legs apart); I kept DS4's legs tucked up inside the wrap for a long time, like 11 weeks or so, before he was ready to have them out and apart. Do you do the "bounce and sway and pat and sssssh" thing when you put him in the Moby? All of that seems to get my tiny guy to go to sleep pretty easily. You might also try a different style of carrier; a mei tai, for instance, such as a Kozy Carrier, might not be as snug around the head, so maybe he would like that better.

[TKDmom]

:lurk5:

subbing so I can come back later and read...

[EmilyGF]

How do you deal with screen time? It seems like my kids read whenever they get bored and then shock me with all the things they have learned. If they had TV/video games/internet instead, they would know a lot less.

 

Emily

[Soror]

Oh my goodness, hoding the baby ALL DAY isn't good for you or the baby....  You desperately need a schedule..  And if you are waiting for the baby to be asleep, then no wonder no school gets done!!!!  That said, I read stories while nursing a baby and sat beside kids while they did their work holding the baby.  But I had a schedule down as well. 

Make that decision.  Start with the oldest TODAY.

 

I totally agree that you just have to start, imperfect and unscheduled perhaps but just start doing school and make a routine and then start with the improvements.

 

I disagree that holding a baby is bad for the baby or mom.  My last one is/was a fussy needy baby and I just did school while holding and/or nursing her or at times bouncing her around to keep her from crying and screaming.  It was really freaking hard at times but I did it anyway.  I was in a super funk last year but I started anyway and followed the good ol' fake it till you make it.  We did the basics and I tried to make sure we did those well.  

[HS Mom in NC]

One thing to keep in mind is that starting a new routine in December is going to be harder for most people because of the typical holiday craziness.  You may need to make changes to your new routine after the holidays if the holidays affect you significantly.  Don't interpret that has a failure, most of us make some sort of modification this time of year and get back to a different routine in January.

Holding/wearing a baby all day is good for both traumatized children and children born into normal, loving situations.   It's good for mom too.  I've BTDT with 3 and no one has suffered any sort problem from it.  They all thrived and so did I. They'll be toddlers running around into everything soon enough-hold them close as much as you can while you can.

[A home for their hearts]

Homeschool Mom in AZ thank you so much for your very thorough reply.  It was very encouraging and gave me some great ideas of things to work on.  I really appreciate you typing all that out!  I think I'm going to print it off so I'll have it to refer to.

 

I've decided to switch spelling for my older two dc to Apples Daily Spelling Drills.  This will free up a lot of time and give them some independent work.  For now I'm going to stick with what we are using for grammar.  I can spend 15-20 minutes with ds12 and dd14 on grammar explaining the new topic then assigning them additional work.  I'm going  to stick  with MM for now for math.  I would need to spend over $200 for TT and I just cant see doing that when we already have MM.  I'm going to give it a month and if I looks like we're having trouble getting math done than I'l rethink switching to TT.  For history I'm having my 3 oldest listen to A History of Us.  I'm planning on buying the audiobook for Apologia General Science.  My dd14 can read the text but my ds12 would probably struggle with it. 

[Shellydon]

Homeschool Mom in AZ thank you so much for your very thorough reply.  It was very encouraging and gave me some great ideas of things to work on.  I really appreciate you typing all that out!  I think I'm going to print it off so I'll have it to refer to.

 

I've decided to switch spelling for my older two dc to Apples Daily Spelling Drills.  This will free up a lot of time and give them some independent work.  For now I'm going to stick with what we are using for grammar.  I can spend 15-20 minutes with ds12 and dd14 on grammar explaining the new topic then assigning them additional work.  I'm going  to stick  with MM for now for math.  I would need to spend over $200 for TT and I just cant see doing that when we already have MM.  I'm going to give it a month and if I looks like we're having trouble getting math done than I'l rethink switching to TT.  For history I'm having my 3 oldest listen to A History of Us.  I'm planning on buying the audiobook for Apologia General Science.  My dd14 can read the text but my ds12 would probably struggle with it. 

 

 

We use and love Math Mammoth so I don't necessarily think you should switch.  Math Mammoth only goes through grade 6, so perhaps as your kids enter 7th grade you can switch to TT or something less mom intensive. 

[8filltheheart]

Homeschool Mom in AZ thank you so much for your very thorough reply. It was very encouraging and gave me some great ideas of things to work on. I really appreciate you typing all that out! I think I'm going to print it off so I'll have it to refer to.

 

I've decided to switch spelling for my older two dc to Apples Daily Spelling Drills. This will free up a lot of time and give them some independent work. For now I'm going to stick with what we are using for grammar. I can spend 15-20 minutes with ds12 and dd14 on grammar explaining the new topic then assigning them additional work. I'm going to stick with MM for now for math. I would need to spend over $200 for TT and I just cant see doing that when we already have MM. I'm going to give it a month and if I looks like we're having trouble getting math done than I'l rethink switching to TT. For history I'm having my 3 oldest listen to A History of Us. I'm planning on buying the audiobook for Apologia General Science. My dd14 can read the text but my ds12 would probably struggle with it.

I personally think that neither TT nor MM are good choices for your 14 yo. Have you considered Lial's Basic College Math? It covers all elementary math concepts in a single textbook w/o having to go through multiple level books. The TOC can be seen here (but you can buy an older ed very, very cheaply.) http://www.pearsonhighered.com/educator/product/Basic-College-Mathematics-8E/9780321557124.page

 

You can find the teaching videos for BCM easily online. http://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video?p=lial+basic+college+math+videos

[FriedClams]

I wanted to throw in that BJU is having their $99 sale now. You could get used books and supplement with the videos for your older kids for science or history. Their online science is great and kid directed.

[mamakelly]

I wanted to throw in that BJU is having their $99 sale now. You could get used books and supplement with the videos for your older kids for science or history. Their online science is great and kid directed.

 

This is an excellent idea. I started using BJ DVD's for some subjects when I had a lot of little kids, and not a lot of time.

 

Also, i had a thought about your fussy baby. Have you thought about taking him to a Chiropractor? I always did that wil my fussy babies and it made a world of difference.