s/o Who doesn't have the best relationship with their mom?

[MamaHappy]

I loved reading the thread titled "Who loves being with their mom?"  (or something like that).  I really wish I had that with my mom!  But unfortunately, I don't.  I don't think my mom likes me very much....she rarely calls.  We used to talk on the phone about once a week, but then I realized I was the only one calling.  So I stopped calling to see what would happen and she doesn't call.  Ever.  If she wants to communicate with me, it's usually an e-mail.  She does come to visit a couple of times a year, but usually only stays one night and barely pays attention to her grandchildren.  She lives about 3 hours away (driving).  So, it's not that I have a *bad* relationship with my mom, it's just sort-of..... I don't know.....there's not much there.  I really get the feeling that she doesn't particularly enjoy spending time with me or my family.  It doesn't really make me sad for some reason.  Maybe it's because it's all I know with her. 

 

I do love my husband's parents though!! :)

 

Does anyone else have a not-so-great relationship with their mom?  Care to share the circumstances?

 

Sorry if my post is very rambly... I'm going on VERY little sleep (see my recent insomnia post, lol). :)

[joannqn]

I pretty much don't talk to my mom at all.  It's a choice she made when she remarried.  Her husband does not consider me a worthwhile person for her to know because I'm not a member of their church denomination.  Usually I hear from her about once a year, but a couple of years have gone by since her last contact.

She didn't attend my wedding.  My understanding is that her church does not allow members to enter another denomination's church building for any reason.  She met my eldest child, then 2 months old, when I flew down there to see my grandmother one last time before she died.   She has never met my husband or other kids.  She makes no attempt to have a relationship with them...no calls, no gifts, no letters, no cards, nothing.

[Heidi]

I loved reading the thread titled "Who loves being with their mom?" (or something like that). I really wish I had that with my mom! But unfortunately, I don't. I don't think my mom likes me very much....she rarely calls. We used to talk on the phone about once a week, but then I realized I was the only one calling. So I stopped calling to see what would happen and she doesn't call. Ever. If she wants to communicate with me, it's usually an e-mail. She does come to visit a couple of times a year, but usually only stays one night and barely pays attention to her grandchildren. She lives about 3 hours away (driving). So, it's not that I have a *bad* relationship with my mom, it's just sort-of..... I don't know.....there's not much there. I really get the feeling that she doesn't particularly enjoy spending time with me or my family. It doesn't really make me sad for some reason. Maybe it's because it's all I know with her.

 

I do love my husband's parents though!! :)

 

Does anyone else have a not-so-great relationship with their mom? Care to share the circumstances?

 

Sorry if my post is very rambly... I'm going on VERY little sleep (see my recent insomnia post, lol). :)

My relationship with my mom is very similar. It used to be better, but things have changed. She lost her job of 20+ years (and with it her self esteem I think), got two dogs she seems to love more than her grand kids, and will travel 5 hours to spend a week with her BFF multiple times a year, but can't manage 4 hours to see us. I go and see her a few times a year, but she doesn't seem to enjoy our visits anymore. I stay with my sister when we visit and she will pop over for a few hours and that's it. Last visit she took the kids to a park... A dog park. It hurts. :(

[G5052]

I never really had a good relationship with mine.  She had narcissistic tendencies and abused prescription drugs, so interacting with her was really difficult.  She had my life planned out from the beginning, and when I went my own way, it was ugly.

 

 

[gingersmom]

My relationship with my mother is like a roller coaster. 

 

Now that I live 2000 miles away it is much better. We talk once a week. I try and share only the basics with her. 

 

We haven't seen her in about 5 months which has been quite pleasant. When we do go visit we will stay at a hotel. 

 

In  a recent phone conversation out of the blue she said she made a lot of mistakes raising me. Hallelujah! The women is finally admitting she is not always right. It felt really good (and shocking) to hear her say that. 

 

I really loved my grandmother (my mom's mom. They had a terrible relationship). 

[Home'scool]

I have a terrible relationship with my mother. She is an alcoholic, abuses prescription drugs, and is narcissistic.

 

Ever see the movie "Flowers in the Attic"? That is what is was like when she married my stepfather. We were to stay out of the way and not draw any attention to us lest we upset her marriage. She would go out to dinner and we would be home with literally no food. When I was a junior in high school she left for Florida for 3 months with my stepfather and I was home alone. She left me a car, some spending money, and a half dozen absent notes just in case I was sick and needed to miss school.

 

She will never change.

 

I have a very good relationship with my sister that makes up for it

[PrincessMommy]

my mom and I had a strained relationship.   I did the same thing as the OP and didn't call her just to see how long it would be.   I think I gave up at around 3months.  The kicker is - she used to live with us for a few years in our basement apartment.  Yeah, it was weird. The year I turned 40 she never came up to wish me happy birthday.  While I was out she brought up a b-day card and left it on my counter... that was it.  I guess I was happy she did that but actually it made me cry.  I basically grew up feeling like I was in the way.  She was part of the baby boom generation and had kids young.  I think she watched all those other women her age go off to college and start careers, basically living the life she wished she had.  Even when I had kids she never seemed to have much time - always too busy with friends/shopping to go to kids activities or events.   I think my dad once came to one of the boy's baseball game when they were living with us.  We were also just very different personality wise.  She had a lot of anger issues, regrets, not very nurturing, loved to shop, shop, shop, and be the center of attention.   With the exception of regrets, I'm not like that at all. 

 

I've always known that part of my motivation for homeschooling is because I didn't want my kids to have the kind of mother I had.  I wanted to be part of their lives and I truly enjoyed having them with me during the day.  Heck, I'd still enjoy it, if I didn't have to do the hsing part.  But, that's a packaged deal.

 

When my mom died we were all there.  It was a sad death and, although her health had been declining for about 6 years, she died too young.   My youngest sister and I talked a lot the weeks afterwards.  We were both sad about it..but our sadness was not about what we lost but about what never will be. 

 

However, I have a great relationship with my MIL!   Love her to death.  I used to cry when I'd think about her dying.    She's been declining over the past few years and its not really the same.  Her personality has changed, but I still remember what she used to be like when she was younger.   I feel very blessed.

[LMD]

I never really had a good relationship with mine.  She had narcissistic tendencies and abused prescription drugs, so interacting with her was really difficult.  She had my life planned out from the beginning, and when I went my own way, it was ugly.

 

Cross out 'prescription' and ^^ this.  She wrote me a letter saying she couldn't bare to have me in her life anymore.  Now I've just had another baby and she wants to play good-grandmother again.   :nopity:

[LaxMom]

Cross out 'prescription' and ^^ this. She wrote me a letter saying she couldn't bare to have me in her life anymore. Now I've just had another baby and she wants to play good-grandmother again. :nopity:

Yup, me too. Except I am the one who cut contact, the final time being about 5 years ago.

 

I'm over the "what might have been" thing. It was hard to embrace reality, but there it is. You know?

[Guest]

 

When my mom died we were all there.  It was a sad death and, although her health had been declining for about 6 years, she died too young.   My youngest sister and I talked a lot the weeks afterwards.  We were both sad about it..but our sadness was not about what we lost but about what never will be.

 

:grouphug:  I just wanted to say I understand this.  My parents are still living, but there was a period of time in my life when I grieved the realization that I didn't have a parent relationship that was what I wanted. I had to come to terms with "what is" and let go of what I wished for. 

 

Things are better with my parents now than several years ago and I think a lot of it is this: I've already accepted that I'm not going to get what I wished for in them. I get along with them okay, but I just don't have a mutual relationship with them. 

[HappyLady]

My relationship with my mother started going downhill when I was 11 and no longer her "perfect daughter."  Why?  Because I couldn't do a backhand spring.  Yep.   :glare:  "So-and-so's daughter at work can do them, why can't you?"  She put a lot of pressure on me to be perfect and because of it I started failing at everything.  At first I couldn't control it (I was an all-star softball player and then could no longer catch the ball nor hit it, etc).  Then I did it intentionally because it was easier to fail right off the bat than to try and fail and be reminded that I failed.  I still don't like to try things in life because I'm so afraid of failing.  :(  She's still in my life, but it's more of a Facebook relationship now.  We don't talk unless it's about an upcoming visit or holiday.  It makes me sad and I hope and pray my relationship with my kids is never, ever anything like the relationship I have with my mother.  

[PrincessMommy]

:grouphug:  I just wanted to say I understand this.  My parents are still living, but there was a period of time in my life when I grieved the realization that I didn't have a parent relationship that was what I wanted. I had to come to terms with "what is" and let go of what I wished for. 

 

Things are better with my parents now than several years ago and I think a lot of it is this: I've already accepted that I'm not going to get what I wished for in them. I get along with them okay, but I just don't have a mutual relationship with them. 

 

yes, there have been many times in my life when that realization hit and I would accept it too.  It was a type of grieving.  but when she died it was like - it really is over.  It was so very final.    Like all types of grieving it isn't a one-time and we're done.  It seems to come back.  Sometimes it was just a little sadness, other times it was a bit overwhelming.

 

My relationship with my mom changed when they moved far away.  I think it helped to no longer have the rejection in my face anymore.  Also, her health declined after she moved.  It was much easier just to accept the way she was then and try to be a help to her. 

 

I'm glad you've come to a place of acceptance.  It's healthy that way. 

 

One of the things about the way I was raised is that it has made me pretty independent.   Oh, I like to have people like me, but I'm also not afraid to go outside the norm either. I don't mind being on my own and doing my own thing.   And, of course, I am thankful that I didn't have the naggy, clingy type of mom... ugh.  I have issues, but I think that would be way worse.

[LMD]

Yup, me too. Except I am the one who cut contact, the final time being about 5 years ago.

 

I'm over the "what might have been" thing. It was hard to embrace reality, but there it is. You know?

 

She's always the one to cut contact - it's more of a tantrum when we hold our boundaries really.

 

I'm not at the over it stage yet, it's still hard all the time.  Newborn hormones don't help (which is why she chose this moment to try and 'call a truce' - no apology).  Any tips on getting to that stage?

[Alicia64]

As I mentioned in the other thread, I've been "no contact" for a 1.5 years now. My parents started verbally attacking one of my sons and being extra sweet and kind to the other son. It was what they did to me and my sister all over again.

 

One day as an adult I said to my mom, "Mom, I have friends who I get along well with. Why can't you and I get along?"

 

She replied, "They don't really know you."

 

In a twisted kind of way I love telling the story because it sums her up in a nutshell. (Really funny because she and my dad go out of their way to look like generous, kind, wonderful people.)

 

Alley

[kewb]

My relationship with my mother is complicated.  She can maintain the normal for about 3 days and then she starts to crack.  She moved across country a few years ago and it was the best thing for our relationship.

 

Overall, my mother was not truly a bad mom but she suffered from depression while I was growing up.  This was back in the day when you didn't go to therapy unless you were nuts.  So my dad ignored her problems and my sister and I were left to fend for ourselves.  She was emotionally unavailable for most of my childhood.  When you do share something she wants to be helpful but she has no idea how to be supportive.  I always call her the queen of negative support.  For example-come home from school and say "I am going to try out for the play"  Normal mom says with great enthusiam "How wonderful.  What part?"  My mom "Are you sure you want to do that?"

 

With my dh's health issues and not looking like he will be better any time soon her support has been quite draining.

[MysteryJen]

Queen of negative support. I like that very much. My mom and I had an okay relationship for a while with my dad being the buffer between us. She was not interested in my life at all, but Dad tried hard to counteract that.  She was completely opposed to homeschooling and let me know that I had made terrible choices in not having a "real" career and having too many children. Though she was a pretty good grandmother for a while. But my kids saw through her almost before I did.

 

But then my dad was diagnosed with dementia and all of us lost his support. Without him actively buffering her comments and selfishness, it became very difficult to deal with her.  When he died, it was so hard. Not just because we lost him, but because in a weird way we lost our mom too. On the outside, to the world, she is wonderful, but to us, not so much. 

 

It was having teens that made me realize how much I did not get from her. It made me sad for my younger self and everyday I vow to do better.

[dbmamaz]

My mother and I have a distant, civil relationship.  She used to call regularly (because that was what her mom made her do), but i was being hard to catch and I really prefer email, so now we mostly keep in touch by email.  She was visiting twice a year, but that stopped over the past few years.  I was coming up every summer, but i've missed a few.  Now my daughter is staying there, and she does not want anything to do with me, so we agree we arent going to see each other until my daughter moves out.  

 

My mom is currently caring for my very ill (physically and mentally) sister in Boston - my mom lives in PA, as well as caring for my daughter who seems to be heading down the same path.  My daughter is not working or going to school, and job hunts occasionally.  My mom is too busy going back and forth to Boston dealing w my sisters crisis.  I was emailing my mom a lot to ask about my daughter, but now i've been emailing her checking in how she's handling the stuff w my sister.  I know how stressful it is - she says i'm the only person who seems to be offering support for this, everyone else just wants nothing to do with it.  Which is sad.

 

My daughter actually found a book which showed that my mom is a narcissist, and many family patterns fit that book.  But i respect my mom in a lot of ways, and recognize that she has tried to admit her mistakes and tried to do better, and tried to have a positive relationship with me.  Its not close, but its enough. I'm a pretty cold fish myself, and dont have any best friends either, and my husband makes me look all warm-and-fuzzy by comparison.  So i'm ok with it.  I've accepted it and i'm content.  I'm also 48, maybe thats part of it.

[Samiam]

I don't really have a mom. Bio mother left me with dad when I was two. Have been in and out of touch through the years...no real effort on her part. Step mother always made it well known to me that I was "stepchild" even though she married my dad when I was 6..so I was happy to have a mom at that age. Horrible parent throughout the years, I could tell some stories.and now as an adult, they live halfway across the country, never ever call, never ever visit, don't acknowledge my children, but she is sure to post fake crap on FB. Oh well, I use it all as a tool of how I do not want to be as a parent....won't repeat the cycle!!!

[gardenmom5]

maybe your mom just isn't the reach out kind of person.  some aren't - even if they enjoy the time they spend with their family.

 

my relationship with my mother improved over the years, prior to her death. (though there were always limits to what she had to give to the relationship.)   I had to implement strict boundaries with my grandmother and her death was a relief.  my mil - well, I'll spend about 15 minutes with her every couple months or so and feel I've done my duty.   she has her issues.

 

my daughters are now adults.  we have a good relationship.  I realized I would rather have a good relationship with my own daughters, than not - no matter the relationship with my own mother.  that was a relationship I had more control over as that relationship starts developing when they are young.

[Grover]

 

(Really funny because she and my dad go out of their way to look like generous, kind, wonderful people.)

 

 

 

On the outside, to the world, she is wonderful, but to us, not so much. 

 

 

This is where I am too, and it hurts because other people can't understand why my relationship with her is so difficult... until it's their turn.  I wish we had a better relationship, it huts that she seems to think I'm an awful person, but I've tried and tried and I have to say I've pretty much given up.  I thought I had a relationship building with my dad, but I recently discovered that he believes everything she says about me (even though he has given up on her himself) so I've pulled back from there too because I'm just not willing to be hurt over and over again. 

 

sigh.  I'd love a real mum relationship, but I don't think I ever will.

[Khselee]

I have a very limited relationship with my mother. I was an accident she delegated to her mother to handle. My grandmother was my rock/parent until she passed when I was 20. As a child, I lived with Gran 90% of the time. The other 10% I would stay with my mom and step-dad, either because step-dad talked my mom into it, or she felt guilty because she couldn't remember something about me. Her forgetting is a trend with her. Earlier this year, she actually argued with DH about 1) what day my birthday was, and 2) how old I was/would be. 

As an adult, since Gran had passed away, my mother felt like she should be able to jump into a thisclose relationship with full disclosure about anything and everything. I was 23 when I was widowed and found out Ds was on the way. She felt Ds would be her "do-over." We are also, personality-wise, polar opposites. When you mix it all together, it means that I have rock solid boundaries, and a very limited relationship, by my choice. 

[Cera]

My relationship with my mother is like a roller coaster. 

 

Now that I live 2000 miles away it is much better. We talk once a week. I try and share only the basics with her. 

 

We haven't seen her in about 5 months which has been quite pleasant. When we do go visit we will stay at a hotel. 

 

In  a recent phone conversation out of the blue she said she made a lot of mistakes raising me. Hallelujah! The women is finally admitting she is not always right. It felt really good (and shocking) to hear her say that. 

 

I really loved my grandmother (my mom's mom. They had a terrible relationship). 

This pretty much describes my relationship with my mother except that when I go to visit I stay with my grandparents.  I usually see for a few hours two or three times in a week visit and then I'm good until the next year.

[Dahliarw]

I wouldn't say I have a bad relationship with my mom, but we're not close.  She's close with my sisters, so that is hard.  It didn't used to be like this, but when she divorced my dad back when I was in college I confronted her on some things (like cheating on my dad) and that pretty much destroyed what we had.  It's not my choice, I have tried to foster a better relationship over the years.  I think she sees me as her conscience in some ways, so being around me is not fun for her, even though I don't say anything to her now, etc.  It's her choice entirely.  She does have a good relationship with my kids, and we get along fine when we're together, it's just that she doesn't make any effort at staying close and I've gotten tired, after years, of putting in all of the effort to try to foster a relationship, so it is what it is.

 

I have a wonderful, close relationship with both my mother-in-law and my step-mom.  They are both wonderful, reciprocal when it comes to relationships, etc.  It's not one-sided like with my mom. 

 

So, it is what it is.  I'm glad I have 2 "moms" in my life that are a mother to me, even if it's not my own mom.

[dbmamaz]

See, I tried hard to do better than my mom, but my daughter hates me and blames me for all her problems.  The last time I emailed her, I just said that I know fall is often a hard time for her, but I do care.  She wrote back that hearing from me will not improve her mental health.  Ouch.  My boys have no idea why my daughter is like that.  I tried really hard to have a relationship with her but i feel like she built up this story about how I dont love her, and then she alters reality to fit her story.  She says I never try to hug her, but when I do, she pushes me away, and then denies that that happened.  

 

She takes tiny things and purposefully mis-interprets them and no matter how many times I say that wasnt what I meant, it doesnt matter, its proof that I hate her.  Like I said once I didnt think she'd make it on to one of those become-a-star shows we were watching.  She was furious.  I said its not that she doesnt have the talent, she has an amazing voice, but these kids are working like crazy on their talents, practicing all the time, and she's not, so she probably wont end up on the show.  She called me a dream-killer for years because of that.  

 

She has hit me, cussed me out, dumped out a cup of tea I gave her in front of me, put away a puzzle i was almost done with in the middle of the night, just all sorts of weird mean things.  Oh, and if I mentioned, well, we had a nice time that time (whatever), she'll say no, i was just faking that, i didnt enjoy it at all.

 

Its so hard to let go, but I have to.  I have to hope some day she figures out what she's so mad about and decides to have a relationship with me based on the real world.  Except I dont REALLY think that will happen unless she's medicated and she refuses.  I have to say it was so heartbreaking that I have a distant relationship with my mom, i've had to totally stop talking to my sister (who is a manipulative, cruel liar), and my daughter has turned her back on me, too.  I think some of it is genetic mental health issues (my middle child was dx'd atypical bipolar), but its still heartbreaking.

[Ananda]

I have a bad mommy relationship. I don't really know what the problem is, but I loathe her. She loves me and senses I want little to do with her so she is kinda clingy. I don't have any insight at all. I always thought it was me, because I am the mean one who loses my temper as does vile things. I have been thinking the last few years that it might be her, because I am a good person in general. I get along reasonably well with others. My husband is starting to see something too. It is a million tiny things that by themselves would mean nothing but together make her push all my buttons.

 

One of the big problems, I have isolated is that she is boundary challenged (which as I understand the book, is my fault?) When we were first married we had a lot of trouble with both sets of in-laws. After we started setting boundaries the relationship with my in-laws improved completely. But my mother. . . I can't even get her to understand what boundaries are. The boundaries thing just doesn't work with her, or I'm not doing it right or something. I thought of giving her the book, but I know she would just use it against me.

 

One other main area of contention is that when she doesn't like something she becomes incredibly stupid. Giving her the benefit of the doubt means you take her at her word that she doesn't understand. Like the boundary thing . . . Does she really not understand? Or is she pretending to not understand, because she doesn't like it? All the "I don't understand" & " You must have misunderstood" and "I remember differently." and "I don't see a problem." It starts to feel like gas lighting.

 

As I said I have no insight. It probably is me, but realistically if I don't like the person I become when I am around her, then I should be around her less.

 

Thanks for listening.

[Guest]

I'm almost 50 years old and I still cry because my mommy isn't capable of loving me. I'm still trying to find some way to love her without loathing myself and holding out some hope that it's going to be doable because 80 year olds are expected to do crazy things like enthusiastically saying, "My dog is just like the daughter I never had!" to the daughter they don't like.

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

My mother is in prison (20 yr sentence) for child abuse. Since she's taken responsibility for her actions, we've been able to have a nice relationship. But I do not consider her my mother in that sense. (My grandmother raised me after the state took me away at age 4.)

[Mommy22alyns]

I now have no relationship with her.  She blew up at me for asking a simple yes or no question and I finally opened my eyes and said, "Why do I keep getting verbally  abused by this person?"  Cut off contact and realized she's a raging narcissist.  It explains a LOT of things from my childhood.  I wish I had realized it sooner.  It's very painful.  She claimed that she was soooo happy to be a grandmother and she was a terrible one.  She couldn't make the effort to come here and see the girls, she didn't come to my wedding, she didn't come to my high school graduation... she even told me that my dad had wanted her to have an abortion with me.  Multiple times.

[JessReplanted]

This past year I've come to the realization that my mother is bipolar. Realizing this has shed a lot of light on why my childhood was the way it was. I love my  mom, but I never know what to expect from her. She can be wonderful and amazing, and she can also act absolutely horrible and irrational. I can't depend on her at all. She has absolutely no awareness of her own issues.

[acsnmama]

See, I tried hard to do better than my mom, but my daughter hates me and blames me for all her problems. The last time I emailed her, I just said that I know fall is often a hard time for her, but I do care. She wrote back that hearing from me will not improve her mental health. Ouch. My boys have no idea why my daughter is like that. I tried really hard to have a relationship with her but i feel like she built up this story about how I dont love her, and then she alters reality to fit her story. She says I never try to hug her, but when I do, she pushes me away, and then denies that that happened.

 

She takes tiny things and purposefully mis-interprets them and no matter how many times I say that wasnt what I meant, it doesnt matter, its proof that I hate her. Like I said once I didnt think she'd make it on to one of those become-a-star shows we were watching. She was furious. I said its not that she doesnt have the talent, she has an amazing voice, but these kids are working like crazy on their talents, practicing all the time, and she's not, so she probably wont end up on the show. She called me a dream-killer for years because of that.

 

She has hit me, cussed me out, dumped out a cup of tea I gave her in front of me, put away a puzzle i was almost done with in the middle of the night, just all sorts of weird mean things. Oh, and if I mentioned, well, we had a nice time that time (whatever), she'll say no, i was just faking that, i didnt enjoy it at all.

 

Its so hard to let go, but I have to. I have to hope some day she figures out what she's so mad about and decides to have a relationship with me based on the real world. Except I dont REALLY think that will happen unless she's medicated and she refuses. I have to say it was so heartbreaking that I have a distant relationship with my mom, i've had to totally stop talking to my sister (who is a manipulative, cruel liar), and my daughter has turned her back on me, too. I think some of it is genetic mental health issues (my middle child was dx'd atypical bipolar), but its still heartbreaking.

[PrincessMommy]

See, I tried hard to do better than my mom, but my daughter hates me and blames me for all her problems.  The last time I emailed her, I just said that I know fall is often a hard time for her, but I do care.  She wrote back that hearing from me will not improve her mental health.  Ouch.  My boys have no idea why my daughter is like that.  I tried really hard to have a relationship with her but i feel like she built up this story about how I dont love her, and then she alters reality to fit her story.  She says I never try to hug her, but when I do, she pushes me away, and then denies that that happened.  

 

She takes tiny things and purposefully mis-interprets them and no matter how many times I say that wasnt what I meant, it doesnt matter, its proof that I hate her.  Like I said once I didnt think she'd make it on to one of those become-a-star shows we were watching.  She was furious.  I said its not that she doesnt have the talent, she has an amazing voice, but these kids are working like crazy on their talents, practicing all the time, and she's not, so she probably wont end up on the show.  She called me a dream-killer for years because of that.  

 

She has hit me, cussed me out, dumped out a cup of tea I gave her in front of me, put away a puzzle i was almost done with in the middle of the night, just all sorts of weird mean things.  Oh, and if I mentioned, well, we had a nice time that time (whatever), she'll say no, i was just faking that, i didnt enjoy it at all.

 

Its so hard to let go, but I have to.  I have to hope some day she figures out what she's so mad about and decides to have a relationship with me based on the real world.  Except I dont REALLY think that will happen unless she's medicated and she refuses.  I have to say it was so heartbreaking that I have a distant relationship with my mom, i've had to totally stop talking to my sister (who is a manipulative, cruel liar), and my daughter has turned her back on me, too.  I think some of it is genetic mental health issues (my middle child was dx'd atypical bipolar), but its still heartbreaking.

 

So sorry  :grouphug:   Sounds like a horrible place to be.  I hope your daughter will someday seek out the help she needs.