Jump to content

Menu
Giving You and Your Child a Road Map to the Best Possible Education
The Well-Trained Mind Community

FaithManor!

Seasider

By Seasider,
in The Chat Board

 Share

Recommended Posts

FaithManor

FaithManor

Posted
Posted

or too tired to move. :D

 

Exactly this!

 

I want to post pics, but dh hasn't downloaded them to my computer yet. They are on the card and he has that with him at work. His coworkers were begging, so he drove into work this morning instead of working from home. Hopefully tonight he will get them on my computer. My uncle, a very talented phographer, sent two gorgeous pics by email and I have NO idea how to save them to my hard drive. There are days when my technological ignorance is an albatross around my neck.

 

So, here is a quick blow, by blow without photos.

 

It went off fairly flawlessly. It was hot and humid and the 150 + year old church that was the site of the ceremony did not have air conditioning, but we all survived it pretty well anyway. Due to DD's recent surgery, we greatly shortened the ceremony - no congregational hymn, one less prayer, dd did not sing, DH and I did not sing, etc. It only took about 25 minutes. She held up quite well. Her photographer is also a part-time medic and well aware of her condition. I don't know when I've ever seen a photo shoot go so quickly and smoothly. He had her off her feet in no time, and the pics she showed me on his camera screen were gorgeous. I will be very excited to see the final product.

 

I was done in by the reception. Three straight days of decorating, running errands, and being bombarded by people kind of took it's toll. My feet ached, my back ached, and truly, I did.not.want.to.hug.or.be.hugged.even.one.more.time. But, somehow made it through. The reception was exquisite. The arbors DH built were beautiful when they were plain, they were really pretty when he added the tulle and twinkle lights on top, beautiful with the chandelier and hanging candle holders which he also made, and then they just took on a breath-taking life when my SIL and niece came over and decorated them. Honestly, it was better than anything I'd ever seen in a bridal magazine and everyone else said so as well. I do think those two women should open a floral design business. I had two large boxes of silks and four boxes of honeysuckle vine. They got these big grins on their faces, rubbed their hands together, and within two and half hours, created this extraordinary piece of artwork. I hope Uncle will get a photo of the arbors to me right away.

 

We draped the entire room in twinkle lights and white gossamer. All of the tables had ivory tablecloths that came to the floor, topped with coral colored overlays, topped with cream colored lace. The centerpieces were vases decorated with fabric flowers that I made, set on vintage glass plates and trays, filled with stones and water, with three floating candles each. There were three votive candles in holders on each table. The china was gold and cream - we rented it along with the water goblets. The cake - well, for a cake that none of us wanted but were kind of goaded into - came out pretty beautiful. Cream colored frosting, textured, lace around the bottom of each layer, and cascading fabric flowers down the side. It was the center piece of the dessert table which also included cheesecakes that my dh made, rhubarb and four berry pies that my MIL made, cream cheese mints again made by MIL, and candy purchased by me :D - please note the lack of baking on my part, the only saving grace to being the wedding planner/coordinator...I HATE baking.

 

The food went over very well. However, I am a little miffed with the caterer. She only made up a 20 lb. bag of the herbed baby red potatoes and we were out before the last three tables were served. She blamed the guests saying they wanted more than a reasonable serving size. However, I think we all know 20 lbs. is not enough for 77 people and the serving size she and her staff doled out was TINY compared to what would normally be given at such an event. She apologized, but did not agree to take anything off the bill. I was the very last person to go through the line since I was busy greeting people, refilling punch (she had one staff member NOT show and there was no one manning the beverage table so I was stuck with that and again, NO discount), and cutting and slicing pie. She didn't save any food back for me even though she knew I hadn't eaten. There was a 2 oz. piece of fish left, a half cup of salad, three tablespoons of green beans, an asparagus wrap, and that was it. This was my first food in 36 hours as well so I was pretty ravished and feeling quite wimpy. My mom ran home and got some of the leftovers from rehearsal dinner so I could eat more substantially. Now, I will say that this caterer's cooking/recipes were divine; the guests were gushing about the food. But, I am not happy about A. running out of potatoes before everyone had a chance for even one serving B. and cutting the food amount so close that I had hardly a scrap when finally sitting down to eat.

 

The vintage wedding dress display was lovely. DD's two grandmas' dresses, my dress, the groom's mother's dress, his aunt's dress, and my SIL's dress were on display and we had a family wedding photo collection to go with them. It was a really special touch.

 

Really, despite my angst with the caterer, it was a lovely event.

 

Now, as always, there is something that has to happen that makes you cringe. Thankfully, dd and her hubby have no idea this went down. My mentally ill aunt, who would not have been invited if we had known how far down hill she has gone, went OFF on a guest and their children. To be fair to her, the children were running around like feral cats. Seriously, this is why people have NO CHILDREN receptions. The five year old ran full tilt into several guests, caused some spillage, broke a goblet (I was only charged $3.06 so it didn't break the bank), tried to CLIMB ON THE CAKE TABLE, and were caught trying to CLIMB THE ARBORS! When the one kid ran into her and another guest had to catch her in order to prevent her from taking a nasty fall, she LOST IT! She can do that. I forgot the type of dementia she has, but in the past she has still been in good enough shape to maintain in public. Not.this.time. Fortunately, dd and son-in-law were outside getting a couple of pictures with the car so they didn't witness it. She motioned the parents over to the corner and started yelling at them about their feral children, the prison bait they were raising, and told the parents the kids were going to grow up to be mass murders and thugs. Uncle went running and was able to extricate her, but not before the mother was crying very, very hard. Sigh.................. I will issue a gushing apology and an explanation hoping they can let it go since she really is not in control of her faculties, but dh and I both said if we could do this all over again, we would not allow children and that includes those of relatives. There were five families there with kids...all relatives...we didn't have seating to invite all of the other guests younlings and well, only one family exercised even the slightest control over the kids. One father got really mouthy with the caterer because she didn't provide a children's menu, wouldn't go to the kitchen and start cooking for his kids, and then got mouthy with me because I didn't provide juice boxes and chocolate milk. Another kid took almost all of the M & M's from the dessert table. He was filling his mouth, his pockets, his napkin, and anything else he could find in order to get the entire vase worth for himself. I was pretty ticked, but on the other hand if the lazy parents refuse to do anything, then they get their just desserts by having to drive home with the world's most hyperactive, sugar high kid!

 

So, if I did this over again - I will use a different caterer and there won't be any children allowed because too many parents let them run wild and ruin things for others. I may be doing it again. Our honorary daughter, dd's maid of honor, caught the bouquet and her boyfriend caught the garter. They've been together for four years now and he is a very sweet gentleman...good job, bought a nice fixer upper house and has done a fantastic job remodeling it, treats her very well, etc. She's been hinting and he gave me a big, private, wink when he caught the thing. So, now that she has recently graduated from college and landed an excellent position in the probation department as a juvenile case worker, I am wondering if a proposal is in the air. He'd be crazy to lose her! She has a very tenuous relationship with her mom...a woman who let the brother get away with committing total hairy carry, but accepted nothing less but perfection from her daughter. Clinically depressed, she came to live with us for a year during high school. Dh and I are "mom and dad" to her, she even calls us that while referring to her own parents as father and mother, so I think we'll be on the hook for another wedding. I am exhausted and can't think about that right now, but I also know this dd is a very careful, deliberate, unhurried person and will likely not marry until 18 months to 2 years after she gets engaged, leaving me some time to recover.

 

That's the scoop. We survived which is the most important thing. They only stayed two hours at their reception. DD was starting to wear down, though she looked great. The groom saw her across the room leaning on a chair, with a hand over her incision area, and promptly announced that it was time for he and his bride to leave. She started to protest; he told her she could leave on her own two feet or he would carry her, but she was going to go rest. That was that...the guests had just finished their desserts and were mingling about, but hadn't really had a lot of time for visiting. Oh well, some stayed and kept talking which was fine. But most pulled out as soon as the tosses were done and the couple had left.

 

I had an excellent clean up, tear down crew and that was a blessing. So many relatives and dear friends stayed to help me! I was in bed by 11:30 p.m. and I originally figured my head would hit a pillow around 3:30 a.m. I am very grateful for all of the help.

 

My house is trashed, completely, utterly trashed, and I have bags and bags of table coverings and napkins to wash. The china and tuxes have to be returned today. So, I have a lot of work ahead of me today and the energy of a slug to accomplish it, but this too shall pass.

 

Oh, the highlight was that my dad managed to not only attend the ceremony, but also stayed for over an hour at the reception before he pooped out. If you had asked me six weeks ago after seeing him for the first time post-op (open-heart surgery), I would have said it was impossible for him to attend dd's wedding. This made her day extra, extra special. The downer is his lung surgery is TOMORROW! I don't feel he's ready for it, and I'm worried he won't survive. I really feel his body cannot handle the trauma so soon to the heart surgery. However, the oncologist refuses to wait and my dad refuses to stand up for himself, so I'm helpless to stop it. At least, if he doesn't survive, we had this last, amazing memory with him.

 

Faith

Link to comment
Share on other sites
KatieJ

KatieJ

Posted
Posted

Sounds gorgeous! As the mother of the bride twice and mother of the groom twice, (But we did one of those weddings too), I can only say wow. Your decorations sound amazing! Can't wait to see pictures.

 

( I would be furious with that caterer too. 20 pounds of potatoes is just rediculous. She should know better. We had caterer issues with the last wedding too, but was all set up and clean up issues. It can take the wind out of your night. So sorry.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Seasider

Seasider

Posted
  • Author
Posted

Thanks for all the details! You are such a fun writer, I always enjoy your posts.

 

Sounds absolutely beautiful! What a labor of love. You and your dh deserve a week off. Or maybe a whole month.

 

Okay, so I may be getting my weddings confused, but are the kid families the ones you dreaded having come in the first place? Seems like I remember a post a few weeks ago with ridiculous RSVP requests for some with children. One that wasn't originally invited, another that did a write-in request for a kid meal, something like that?

 

And your aunt - well, I am very sorry that she caused a disturbance, but I would bet good money that a number of folks in kid-violated areas probably gave her some silent applause.

 

Did you decide to purchase all those linens? I'm thinking yes, since you plan to wash them. At least you will have them for honorary dd's anticipated event.

 

Can you use the arbor(s) in your garden now? Maybe make a gift to the newlyweds for their garden? I am sure you have some plans - I just like to thing that your dh's craft will be enjoyed beyond the big day. So sweet of him to do such a thing. And he made cheesecakes, too! Where did you find that guy? Quite the catch, I say.

 

As for the caterer - well that is inexcusable. I would speak with her again about the price because she did not provide food according to your contract/number of people guaranteed for the meal. A good caterer would NEVER make an excuse like "the guests took too much." An experienced caterer has seen the full gamut of human food consumption practices and plans accordingly. If there appeared to be an unusual amount of self-serving going on at the buffet, she or a staff member should have been in duty for portion control. And adequate portions at that, not dinky portions. I would definitely let her know that your non-recommendation will be loud and clear to prospective future clients.

 

All in all, it sounds like a triumphant success. Can't wait to see some pics, once you can get some up to share.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Beth S

Beth S

Posted
Posted

Thanks for the update. Our dd's wedding is only 12 days away.

And your account confirms the wise decision dd made to rent a church with a walkout patio outside with kids' food AND a playground for the kids (& their parents) to enjoy.

AND the essential need of having a friend stand next to the Chocolate Fountain. :-)

I'll prepare to send the feral children outside.

 

What a wonderful way to celebrate your dd's and new sil's marriage. Now enjoy RESTING in your free time!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
*Lulu*

*Lulu*

Posted
Posted

It sounds like it was lovely!

 

Get some well deserved rest.

 

Then, once you are rested enough to tolerate a phone call but not so rested your irritation has passed, give that caterer a call. Not only should she discount for not providing enough food, but also for not providing the promised number of staff. Her personnel issues and miscalcutations are not your problem. Unless she made you a partner in her business and you missed it!

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites
bettyandbob

bettyandbob

Posted
Posted

Don't apologize to the parents your aunt yelled at. It sounds like they needed to hear their children were rotten. Your aunt was just blunt about it.

 

What's wrong the parents who demanded s pecial catering for their children. Why don't adults know how to behave?

 

Glad it all turned out well otherwise!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Dahliarw

Dahliarw

Posted
Posted

I totally agree with taking things up with the caterer. That is so unprofessional! We had leftovers food from our wedding, which the caterer packed for my parents to take home. We ate swedish meatballs for months! But I prefer that to not having enough. I really think she is ripping you off. I would be sure to write a review warning other people too.

 

Sounds like other than that it was a lovely wedding. I really do hate it when parents don't keep an eye on their children like that - I kind of wish I could have seen your aunt go off on them, LOL!

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Guest

Guest

Posted
Posted

Sounds like all in all it was a great day.

 

I would NOT let the thing with the caterer go. MOB having to help serve on her own child's wedding day.....um excuse me, but HELL NO. That is beyond ridiculous. They say that one bad review spreads ten times faster than a good one. You need to remind her of that.

 

Also...praying for your dad and for the doctors that will be doing his surgery.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
unsinkable

unsinkable

Posted
Posted

It sounds beautiful.

 

What do they call it in your religion/faith when a couple is already married and then has another ceremony? I know with Catholics, you can't have the sacrament of Marriage twice.

 

Please make your concerns about your dad known. I would be having a conversation with every person I came in contact with on the dad of the surgery if I didn't think my dad would make it.

 

My parents have been dead for decades. Living on memories sucks.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Exactly this!

 

I want to post pics, but dh hasn't downloaded them to my computer yet. They are on the card and he has that with him at work. His coworkers were begging, so he drove into work this morning instead of working from home. Hopefully tonight he will get them on my computer. My uncle, a very talented phographer, sent two gorgeous pics by email and I have NO idea how to save them to my hard drive. There are days when my technological ignorance is an albatross around my neck.

 

So, here is a quick blow, by blow without photos.

 

It went off fairly flawlessly. It was hot and humid and the 150 + year old church that was the site of the ceremony did not have air conditioning, but we all survived it pretty well anyway. Due to DD's recent surgery, we greatly shortened the ceremony - no congregational hymn, one less prayer, dd did not sing, DH and I did not sing, etc. It only took about 25 minutes. She held up quite well. Her photographer is also a part-time medic and well aware of her condition. I don't know when I've ever seen a photo shoot go so quickly and smoothly. He had her off her feet in no time, and the pics she showed me on his camera screen were gorgeous. I will be very excited to see the final product.

 

I was done in by the reception. Three straight days of decorating, running errands, and being bombarded by people kind of took it's toll. My feet ached, my back ached, and truly, I did.not.want.to.hug.or.be.hugged.even.one.more.time. But, somehow made it through. The reception was exquisite. The arbors DH built were beautiful when they were plain, they were really pretty when he added the tulle and twinkle lights on top, beautiful with the chandelier and hanging candle holders which he also made, and then they just took on a breath-taking life when my SIL and niece came over and decorated them. Honestly, it was better than anything I'd ever seen in a bridal magazine and everyone else said so as well. I do think those two women should open a floral design business. I had two large boxes of silks and four boxes of honeysuckle vine. They got these big grins on their faces, rubbed their hands together, and within two and half hours, created this extraordinary piece of artwork. I hope Uncle will get a photo of the arbors to me right away.

 

We draped the entire room in twinkle lights and white gossamer. All of the tables had ivory tablecloths that came to the floor, topped with coral colored overlays, topped with cream colored lace. The centerpieces were vases decorated with fabric flowers that I made, set on vintage glass plates and trays, filled with stones and water, with three floating candles each. There were three votive candles in holders on each table. The china was gold and cream - we rented it along with the water goblets. The cake - well, for a cake that none of us wanted but were kind of goaded into - came out pretty beautiful. Cream colored frosting, textured, lace around the bottom of each layer, and cascading fabric flowers down the side. It was the center piece of the dessert table which also included cheesecakes that my dh made, rhubarb and four berry pies that my MIL made, cream cheese mints again made by MIL, and candy purchased by me :D - please note the lack of baking on my part, the only saving grace to being the wedding planner/coordinator...I HATE baking.

 

The food went over very well. However, I am a little miffed with the caterer. She only made up a 20 lb. bag of the herbed baby red potatoes and we were out before the last three tables were served. She blamed the guests saying they wanted more than a reasonable serving size. However, I think we all know 20 lbs. is not enough for 77 people and the serving size she and her staff doled out was TINY compared to what would normally be given at such an event. She apologized, but did not agree to take anything off the bill. I was the very last person to go through the line since I was busy greeting people, refilling punch (she had one staff member NOT show and there was no one manning the beverage table so I was stuck with that and again, NO discount), and cutting and slicing pie. She didn't save any food back for me even though she knew I hadn't eaten. There was a 2 oz. piece of fish left, a half cup of salad, three tablespoons of green beans, an asparagus wrap, and that was it. This was my first food in 36 hours as well so I was pretty ravished and feeling quite wimpy. My mom ran home and got some of the leftovers from rehearsal dinner so I could eat more substantially. Now, I will say that this caterer's cooking/recipes were divine; the guests were gushing about the food. But, I am not happy about A. running out of potatoes before everyone had a chance for even one serving B. and cutting the food amount so close that I had hardly a scrap when finally sitting down to eat.

 

The vintage wedding dress display was lovely. DD's two grandmas' dresses, my dress, the groom's mother's dress, his aunt's dress, and my SIL's dress were on display and we had a family wedding photo collection to go with them. It was a really special touch.

 

Really, despite my angst with the caterer, it was a lovely event.

 

Now, as always, there is something that has to happen that makes you cringe. Thankfully, dd and her hubby have no idea this went down. My mentally ill aunt, who would not have been invited if we had known how far down hill she has gone, went OFF on a guest and their children. To be fair to her, the children were running around like feral cats. Seriously, this is why people have NO CHILDREN receptions. The five year old ran full tilt into several guests, caused some spillage, broke a goblet (I was only charged $3.06 so it didn't break the bank), tried to CLIMB ON THE CAKE TABLE, and were caught trying to CLIMB THE ARBORS! When the one kid ran into her and another guest had to catch her in order to prevent her from taking a nasty fall, she LOST IT! She can do that. I forgot the type of dementia she has, but in the past she has still been in good enough shape to maintain in public. Not.this.time. Fortunately, dd and son-in-law were outside getting a couple of pictures with the car so they didn't witness it. She motioned the parents over to the corner and started yelling at them about their feral children, the prison bait they were raising, and told the parents the kids were going to grow up to be mass murders and thugs. Uncle went running and was able to extricate her, but not before the mother was crying very, very hard. Sigh.................. I will issue a gushing apology and an explanation hoping they can let it go since she really is not in control of her faculties, but dh and I both said if we could do this all over again, we would not allow children and that includes those of relatives. There were five families there with kids...all relatives...we didn't have seating to invite all of the other guests younlings and well, only one family exercised even the slightest control over the kids. One father got really mouthy with the caterer because she didn't provide a children's menu, wouldn't go to the kitchen and start cooking for his kids, and then got mouthy with me because I didn't provide juice boxes and chocolate milk. Another kid took almost all of the M & M's from the dessert table. He was filling his mouth, his pockets, his napkin, and anything else he could find in order to get the entire vase worth for himself. I was pretty ticked, but on the other hand if the lazy parents refuse to do anything, then they get their just desserts by having to drive home with the world's most hyperactive, sugar high kid!

 

So, if I did this over again - I will use a different caterer and there won't be any children allowed because too many parents let them run wild and ruin things for others. I may be doing it again. Our honorary daughter, dd's maid of honor, caught the bouquet and her boyfriend caught the garter. They've been together for four years now and he is a very sweet gentleman...good job, bought a nice fixer upper house and has done a fantastic job remodeling it, treats her very well, etc. She's been hinting and he gave me a big, private, wink when he caught the thing. So, now that she has recently graduated from college and landed an excellent position in the probation department as a juvenile case worker, I am wondering if a proposal is in the air. He'd be crazy to lose her! She has a very tenuous relationship with her mom...a woman who let the brother get away with committing total hairy carry, but accepted nothing less but perfection from her daughter. Clinically depressed, she came to live with us for a year during high school. Dh and I are "mom and dad" to her, she even calls us that while referring to her own parents as father and mother, so I think we'll be on the hook for another wedding. I am exhausted and can't think about that right now, but I also know this dd is a very careful, deliberate, unhurried person and will likely not marry until 18 months to 2 years after she gets engaged, leaving me some time to recover.

 

That's the scoop. We survived which is the most important thing. They only stayed two hours at their reception. DD was starting to wear down, though she looked great. The groom saw her across the room leaning on a chair, with a hand over her incision area, and promptly announced that it was time for he and his bride to leave. She started to protest; he told her she could leave on her own two feet or he would carry her, but she was going to go rest. That was that...the guests had just finished their desserts and were mingling about, but hadn't really had a lot of time for visiting. Oh well, some stayed and kept talking which was fine. But most pulled out as soon as the tosses were done and the couple had left.

 

I had an excellent clean up, tear down crew and that was a blessing. So many relatives and dear friends stayed to help me! I was in bed by 11:30 p.m. and I originally figured my head would hit a pillow around 3:30 a.m. I am very grateful for all of the help.

 

My house is trashed, completely, utterly trashed, and I have bags and bags of table coverings and napkins to wash. The china and tuxes have to be returned today. So, I have a lot of work ahead of me today and the energy of a slug to accomplish it, but this too shall pass.

 

Oh, the highlight was that my dad managed to not only attend the ceremony, but also stayed for over an hour at the reception before he pooped out. If you had asked me six weeks ago after seeing him for the first time post-op (open-heart surgery), I would have said it was impossible for him to attend dd's wedding. This made her day extra, extra special. The downer is his lung surgery is TOMORROW! I don't feel he's ready for it, and I'm worried he won't survive. I really feel his body cannot handle the trauma so soon to the heart surgery. However, the oncologist refuses to wait and my dad refuses to stand up for himself, so I'm helpless to stop it. At least, if he doesn't survive, we had this last, amazing memory with him.

 

Faith

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Carol in Cal.

Carol in Cal.

Posted
Posted

A good caterer knows that buffets require more food per person than plated meals, specifically because people take more than they will eat and also more than 'normal' portions. 20 lbs for that many people is ridiculous, as is being down a server and not being able to backfill or at least give a substantial discount.

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Starr

Starr

Posted
Posted

Thanks for the update. Our dd's wedding is only 12 days away.

And your account confirms the wise decision dd made to rent a church with a walkout patio outside with kids' food AND a playground for the kids (& their parents) to enjoy.

AND the essential need of having a friend stand next to the Chocolate Fountain. :-)

I'll prepare to send the feral children outside.

 

What a wonderful way to celebrate your dd's and new sil's marriage. Now enjoy RESTING in your free time!

 

 

I was at an event with a chocolate fountain recently and a toddler was more or less washing his hands in it. :svengo: :smilielol5:

Link to comment
Share on other sites
Wildcat

Wildcat

Posted
Posted

Faith, I'm glad it went well for the most part. It sounded divine!!

 

I agree with the others. Allow yourself to recover a bit, then take on that caterer! That is absolutely inexcusable. And for the MOB to *serve*?! I wouldn't let this go with out one heck of a fight!

 

And your aunt's rant.... I also would not apologize. I am sick to death of feral children. It is the feral children of my generation (Gen X) who have grown into the self-absorbed, rude adults in abundance today who are also raising feral children, and the reason I hate (yes, I chose that word on purpose) being around people. Not 'friends' and not 'close acquaintences', but generic 'people'. I can't stand it. Let your aunt be the voice many of us (and I'm sure most of your guests!) wished we/they could have been. Allow word to 'get around' about her mental state, if you want to, but no apologies.

 

I also would continue to fight for your father. I'm so glad he was able to be there, however!!

 

Congrats on a job well done!! :grouphug: :party:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

×
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...