I miss homeschooling!

[Tsutsie]

This year, our DS, who turned 8 last month, attends a prestigious private school, with a 80% scholarship - for grade 2!

 

He is happy, but is first to admit that he is learning (about) nothing. Last week, when I picked him up from school, he was very excited to tell me that he had learned SOMETHING that day - that polar bears have black skin. That's all. They learn Spanish, which is all new to him, but he is bored with the amount of repetition. His Spanish teacher told me that he is her star student, even though the other kids started learning Spanish in JK - 3 years ahead of him.

 

He likes school because of the friends (although I don't think there is any specific one he will miss), recess, gym, and tech-lab (computer studies).

 

He mostly finished Singapore 4B last year, and is not doing Grade 2 New Elementary Math. He detests it.

 

Urgh, I miss homeschooling him, although he is VERY HAPPY and looks forward to going to school.

 

He said: "I'm always bored in class, but I just sit there and daydream and wait for recess. Recess is awesome!"

 

:(

 

What to do? 8:20 - 3:30 seems like a very long amount of time to "waste".

 

He has also asked me what I think is more important, learning more, of having more fun. I could not really answer that one, not considering he is in Grade 2.

 

Any suggestions?

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

I would start looking at the Afterschooling board to get ideas for supplementing his education.

[Tsutsie]

We are already afterschooling math a little, but he plays 2 instruments and needs to practice those when he does not have lessons (he does not want to quit piano or violin.) Also, since we only get home at 4pm....there is not that much time left in the day. He gets useless homework every day.

:(

[Alte Veste Academy]

My suggestion would be to homeschool him again, making sure to have a stellar recess every day. :D On the subject of learning vs having fun, I would ask him what he thinks the purpose of school is. I personally find the learning we do at home to be heaps of fun though, the best of both worlds. What a terrible predicament though, for him to love school so much and to be getting so little out of it. :(

[Tracy]

The huge waste of time was my very first reason for homeschooling. It is bad enough if you think he is wasting time. But to make someone do it who knows they are wasting time--I just couldn't do it. Have you ever had a job where you had to do nothing but be there? It seems great at first, but it doesn't take long before you are bored out of your skull. But at least you are getting paid. But as a student, you don't even get paid.

[misty.warden]

An 80% discount on a waste of time is still paying for wasted time, IMO. I don't know your exact situation, but I would not keep paying for something like that.

[serendipitous journey]

Was he thriving in homeschool -- that is, not necessarily running around giddy with joy, but well & happy?

 

I don't think that this school situation will lead to his long-term happiness ... have you talked with them about the challenge level? Do they have something in place to deal with advanced students?

[Greenmama2]

I don't think I could keep him in school under those circumstances. I would be wanting to bring him back home. Have you talked to the school about his lack of challenge?

[lmrich]

Is there a reason beside the scholarship that you stopped homeschooling?

[Tsutsie]

I stopped homeschooling him because I was tired. I know, lame excuse, but this kid NEVER stops. And I don't mean physically.

 

He needs constant stimulation, and it seems like he is unable to do/get it for himself. Since he was a baby, he has never been able to play by himself, or keep himself busy with anything. I have given up finding something he likes about 2 years ago - beside the fact that it was expensive, it is also not fair towards my younger DD.

 

He does not play with ANYTHING. He'll play video games, but we strictly limit those, as it is ALL he does then. (No Lego, cars, airplanes, etc.) She sees going to the toy store as something we just sometimes have to do, like buying bread and eggs.

 

He just never "goes away" and play. He'd play with whoever is outside, but if there is no one, which there is not during the day, he is back in 2 minutes, chatting me up on something. Before I know it, I'm back to spending all my mental energy on him. I know this sounds terrible, but it is exhausting. He NEVER stops.

 

And when he does not have my ear, DD got it.

 

Well, that's one reason I stopped homeschooling him.

 

He is also a glass-is-half-empty type, which I struggle to deal with. Everything is always a big deal.

 

He is very emotional about everything.

 

(We did a full psychological assessment. He did not show any "issues" which we are able to fix. FSIQ 151 )

[chicagoshannon]

Can you talk to the school about having him skip a grade?

 

The other option I can think of is finding a coop for gym and then homeschooling him again.

[Tsutsie]

That's the negative part about having a scholarship to this school is that I feel so indebted to them, that I don't want to rock the boat, so to speak.

 

We have a 5 before Feb 28 cut-off for kindergarten. My son turned 5 in January (3 years ago), so technically he could be in 3rd grade, but they were adamant that kids do better in grades where they are the older child in the class. I got the feeling that he would not have received the scholarship if we insisted he put him in Gr. 3. ("All parents think their kids are brilliant." I also got the feeling that they dealt with homeschoolers before, where the kids were behind on grade level work - so they were not going to take any chances.)

 

They wrote the CTBS (Canadian Test of Basic Skills) a few weeks ago, and we should have to results in 2 weeks. I think I'm going to wait for those to come back, and then rock the boat if it warrants it.

 

Only thing is, it will be March already. Is it worth it moving him up a grade that late in the year?

 

(I really appreciate your input. Thanks a lot.)

[mom2bee]

Sounds to me like your family is wasting a huge chunk of the day and paying any percent of a tuition for an education that your son is not recieving at a prestigious private school seems like a rip-off.

 

I don't know your situation and I understand that he loves having friends and recess, but you may want to look into him being moved up a grade or 2 so that the work is more suitable. he would still have recess and the money you are paying toward your boys education is not being 100% wasted.

[ladyinthegarden]

You need to eat chocolate, take bubble baths, and drink wine... Maybe even call in a maid... This is the daydream I have about what I would do if I were not homeschooling!

 

If I wanted to keep him in school I would look for enrichment type activites. Maybe some audio books, SOTW audio, and ect. You could throw in some memory work to work on at his pace. When my oldest went to school we didn't have a schedule or curriculum, but we did things together for enrichment.

[SarahW]

Does the school not have an accelerated classroom?

 

My kid goes to a public charter school, and got into the accelerated kindergarten program. Which is great, he's actually learning stuff during the day (though not everything I would like to see him do, but I'm picky). Though we're homeschooling next year for various reasons (moving to another state, he hates going to school, I want to follow a more thorough curriculum with him for a while). We'd think about pulling him out now, but he won a lottery to get into this school, and they did offer the accelerated class for him, so I kinda feel like we should stick it out.

 

I understand being overwhelmed by a high-maintenance kid, though.

 

Maybe there is a "full" homeschool co-op in the area? One where you go and do "class" 2 or 3 days a week, and then "homework" the other days? That would do the "school" for him, the "off" time for you, and allow him to pick classes that meet his abilities.

[Saddlemomma]

Honestly, I would pull him next year. Finish this year and start talking gradually about returning to homeschooling next year.

 

I take my dd to the local elementary school to attend PE and Music (her two choices). I do this so she can get some time with her peers and be in a different environment. Is this something you could do with your ds? Would they allow him to join the kids for recess? Would this be feasible for you?

 

If all he is enjoying is the recess and he's bored; not learning anything, then his time is being wasted and the scholarship money is being wasted. He may fuss, but you need to do what's best for him....just IMHO.

[morgan]

I would let him finish out the year. I totally understand the high maintenance kid though, and I would enjoy the break school provides. Personally, as the year comes towards a close I would start talking to the school about doing a grade skip or ask what other accommodations could be made in the fall, if you were to consider returning, and list your reasons for needing something to change. If they aren't too receptive I would go back to homeschooling for the next school year. As others have pointed out, there are so many other options to enrich homeschooling to add the "fun."

[HS Mom in NC]

That scholarship should be for someone who isn't getting as much in ps what is available in that private school. It wasn't intended to be used for recess.

 

The purpose of an education is to learn things that matter. If a child isn't learning things that matter then all the prestige that goes with the child's school is ridiculous. People are being scammed.

 

One of the main reasons I homeschool is because institutional schools are the biggest time wasters because they lump a bunch of individuals into one class that can move only at one pace. Tutorial education is the most efficient.

 

Your son can make new friends in homeschooling and extra curricular environments that he'll like just as much.

[Guest KJE]

I suspect for 20% of the cost of a prestigious private school, that one could pay someone to take an on-the-go child on a weekly field trip so Mum could have a break. Granted, your private school may be less expensive than my local choices.

[Tracy]

I stopped homeschooling him because I was tired. I know, lame excuse, but this kid NEVER stops. And I don't mean physically.

 

He needs constant stimulation, and it seems like he is unable to do/get it for himself. Since he was a baby, he has never been able to play by himself, or keep himself busy with anything. I have given up finding something he likes about 2 years ago - beside the fact that it was expensive, it is also not fair towards my younger DD.

 

He does not play with ANYTHING. He'll play video games, but we strictly limit those, as it is ALL he does then. (No Lego, cars, airplanes, etc.) She sees going to the toy store as something we just sometimes have to do, like buying bread and eggs.

 

He just never "goes away" and play. He'd play with whoever is outside, but if there is no one, which there is not during the day, he is back in 2 minutes, chatting me up on something. Before I know it, I'm back to spending all my mental energy on him. I know this sounds terrible, but it is exhausting. He NEVER stops.

 

And when he does not have my ear, DD got it.

 

Well, that's one reason I stopped homeschooling him.

 

He is also a glass-is-half-empty type, which I struggle to deal with. Everything is always a big deal.

 

He is very emotional about everything.

 

(We did a full psychological assessment. He did not show any "issues" which we are able to fix. FSIQ 151 )

 

 

This is classic gifted behavior. Did the assessment bring up giftedness? If not, did the person doing the assessment have expertise with gifted kids? Have you spent time on any gifted forums? Leaving a gifted child in this situation is not going to make things better. But if you have enough information, perhaps you can advocate for acceleration/differentiation for him.

[HS Mom in NC]

I stopped homeschooling him because I was tired. I know, lame excuse, but this kid NEVER stops. And I don't mean physically.

 

He needs constant stimulation, and it seems like he is unable to do/get it for himself. Since he was a baby, he has never been able to play by himself, or keep himself busy with anything. I have given up finding something he likes about 2 years ago - beside the fact that it was expensive, it is also not fair towards my younger DD.

 

He does not play with ANYTHING. He'll play video games, but we strictly limit those, as it is ALL he does then. (No Lego, cars, airplanes, etc.) She sees going to the toy store as something we just sometimes have to do, like buying bread and eggs.

 

He just never "goes away" and play. He'd play with whoever is outside, but if there is no one, which there is not during the day, he is back in 2 minutes, chatting me up on something. Before I know it, I'm back to spending all my mental energy on him. I know this sounds terrible, but it is exhausting. He NEVER stops.

 

And when he does not have my ear, DD got it.

 

Well, that's one reason I stopped homeschooling him.

 

He is also a glass-is-half-empty type, which I struggle to deal with. Everything is always a big deal.

 

He is very emotional about everything.

 

(We did a full psychological assessment. He did not show any "issues" which we are able to fix. FSIQ 151 )

 

 

I have one of those. My 7 year old daughter wants constant input all the time, but she has to live in reality. So, as hard as it has been, I've had to tell her, "You're going to do something on your own in your room for an hour. Go to the bathroom now, get a drink and a snack to your room, and do not come out until I tell you." I stick to it, even though sometimes it's involved pouting and tears. If she doesn't do anything, she still has to stay there. My husband struggles more than I do with telling her to entertain herself rather than giving in because it's hard to deal with her relentlessness.

 

She was a fairly early reader which helps. She can learn to read input rather than hear have me as her constant audience. We've had to tell her after her endless questions about every detail of every little thing, "I'm done talking about this now. I'm bored with it. I'm not going to answer anymore questions about it now. Did you hear the change in my voice? It means I'm getting irritated with this litany of questions."

 

Everything about her is too much-she's too loud, too hard, too fast, too intense, etc. etc. etc. If I let her go unchecked she won't learn to watch for other people's reactions. She has to learn that she can't be a blackhole sucking everything everyone has all the time. She can ask a few questions and I'll happily answer them, but she has to learn to back off after a while. Since she has no intuitive ability to do this, I have to tell her directly and make it happen.

 

It's gotten better with conscientious effort on my part. Everyone struggles with something and needs to work on it-even really smart kids. Genius excuses nothing.

[Greenmama2]

That scholarship should be for someone who isn't getting as much in ps what is available in that private school. It wasn't intended to be used for recess.

 

It's harsh but yes, this.

[Tsutsie]

I had no idea that it will work out like it had. This school is the top rated school in Alberta and I really hoped that it will work for DS, since nothing else has thus far.

 

:(

[DandelionPrincess]

i just wanted to thank the other people who replied, my 5 yo son is *exactly* like the one described, getting him to play on his own is pure torture for the kid, causing never ending tears and making me feel so guilty for asking him to "go play" while i work at the computer (i work from home)

 

I, too have seriously considered PS for this reason, he drives me crazy all day long. I am glad to see that there are other kids like him out there, and I am not the only one being driven mad by the never-ending questions, explanations, and stories about EVERYTHING. I love that he is curious and interested, but about mid-afternoon, i am no longer looking at it that way, lol.

[Tracy]

I had no idea that it will work out like it had. This school is the top rated school in Alberta and I really hoped that it will work for DS, since nothing else has thus far.

 

:(

 

 

It is natural to get a lot of people on a homeschooling board saying that you should bring him home. But it doesn't necessarily need to work out that way. If you can arm yourself with some information (Provincial law, how to teach gifted kids, local programs and rules) and are willing to advocate for your child, you may be able to make it work. OTOH, there are many who homeschool precisely because they would rather take that time they were advocating and spend it on actual instruction instead.

[Arcadia]

I stopped homeschooling him because I was tired. I know, lame excuse, but this kid NEVER stops. And I don't mean physically.

......., it is also not fair towards my younger DD.

 

I put my older in public B&M for K and 1st because my younger was being "neglected". My health was also going downhill with lack of rest. No advice except that I could emphatise with your situation.

[serendipitous journey]

That scholarship should be for someone who isn't getting as much in ps what is available in that private school. It wasn't intended to be used for recess.

 

The purpose of an education is to learn things that matter. If a child isn't learning things that matter then all the prestige that goes with the child's school is ridiculous. People are being scammed.

 

One of the main reasons I homeschool is because institutional schools are the biggest time wasters because they lump a bunch of individuals into one class that can move only at one pace. Tutorial education is the most efficient.

 

Your son can make new friends in homeschooling and extra curricular environments that he'll like just as much.

 

 

I agree that the prestige of a school is a poor measure of the quality of the education. It seems clear that the child was doing fine at home; the strain was on his family and esp. his mother.

 

I respectfully disagree that the scholarship "should be" for someone who would be less bored than the OP's child. The scholarship committee was looking for a very bright child, who lacked means to attend without aid, who would be able to succeed at the school. I don't think the OP is misusing the scholarship: again, the committee isn't going to be troubled that she finds him too much of a handful at home and that's why she wants him in their school. This is perfectly okay with them. The benefit to the school accrues from having such a bright child in the classes (and as fellow to the other students), from increasing the diversity of their student body, and from fulfilling their own goals of educating children.

 

I'm sure that if the OP explains to the school that her child is not fully engaged, their response won't be to pull the scholarship b/c he's not the intended recipient; I don't know what their response would be, though. Sounds like it wouldn't be very helpful!

[Greenmama2]

 

I'm sure that if the OP explains to the school that her child is not fully engaged, their response won't be to pull the scholarship b/c he's not the intended recipient; I don't know what their response would be, though. Sounds like it wouldn't be very helpful!

I for one didn't mean to imply that would their response (although it sounds as though the OP is concerned it might be). It's just that my sense of "fairness" has me feeling that such a scholarship would be best used by a child whose needs are not being met elsewhere and who doesn't have other educational options (which the OP's son appears to since he was originally homeschooled).

 

OP, I do understand the overwhelm of the constant need for attention. In our household it has meant that my younger goes to Montessori preschool two days a week where frankly he gets a little more attention than usual whilst I attempt to fill his sister's "intense" cup so that things can be more balanced the rest of the week.

[Hockey Mom]

I agree that the prestige of a school is a poor measure of the quality of the education. It seems clear that the child was doing fine at home; the strain was on his family and esp. his mother.

 

I respectfully disagree that the scholarship "should be" for someone who would be less bored than the OP's child. The scholarship committee was looking for a very bright child, who lacked means to attend without aid, who would be able to succeed at the school. I don't think the OP is misusing the scholarship: again, the committee isn't going to be troubled that she finds him too much of a handful at home and that's why she wants him in their school. This is perfectly okay with them. The benefit to the school accrues from having such a bright child in the classes (and as fellow to the other students), from increasing the diversity of their student body, and from fulfilling their own goals of educating children.

 

I'm sure that if the OP explains to the school that her child is not fully engaged, their response won't be to pull the scholarship b/c he's not the intended recipient; I don't know what their response would be, though. Sounds like it wouldn't be very helpful!

Bingo! He is/will be a feather in their cap. They will want to keep a chlid of that intellect.

 

I completely relate to the OP wrt her reasons for putting him in this school. I have the same internal conversation on a daily basis regarding my DS10. And every January, when the Open Houses are announced, I truly consider putting him back in private school. The only reason I don't, is because I don't want to pass his unrelenting "chatter" onto an unsuspecting teacher, nor do I want to deal with the guilt.

 

I think once the OP has the test results in hand, she will have better leverage to bump him up a grade. Unlike public schools, private schools are usually more willing to work with the parent (in MY experience).

[ebunny]

This year, our DS, who turned 8 last month, attends a prestigious private school, with a 80% scholarship - for grade 2!

 

He is happy, but is first to admit that he is learning (about) nothing. Last week, when I picked him up from school, he was very excited to tell me that he had learned SOMETHING that day - that polar bears have black skin. That's all. They learn Spanish, which is all new to him, but he is bored with the amount of repetition. His Spanish teacher told me that he is her star student, even though the other kids started learning Spanish in JK - 3 years ahead of him.

 

He likes school because of the friends (although I don't think there is any specific one he will miss), recess, gym, and tech-lab (computer studies).

 

He mostly finished Singapore 4B last year, and is not doing Grade 2 New Elementary Math. He detests it.

 

Urgh, I miss homeschooling him, although he is VERY HAPPY and looks forward to going to school.

 

He said: "I'm always bored in class, but I just sit there and daydream and wait for recess. Recess is awesome!"

 

:(

 

What to do? 8:20 - 3:30 seems like a very long amount of time to "waste".

 

He has also asked me what I think is more important, learning more, of having more fun. I could not really answer that one, not considering he is in Grade 2.

 

Any suggestions?

 

 

My situation is quite like yours. My DD began a B/M school after almost 2 yrs of homeschooling. She is gifted and is learning nothing at school(grade 2) this year and according to the teacher/director, will learn nothing until the 5th grade if she progresses chronologically. BUT! She is happy to go to school to mingle with her classmates and goof around. So, we're not looking at grade skipping since she's doing great with chronological peers.

 

Her personality is similar to what you describe your son. Intense, driven, "on" all the time. And I sympathise with you.

 

I afterschool her right now..more enrichment than acceleration. I send worksheets with her to school so she can do them when she's done with what the teacher has given. It's not much, but at this point of time..it's enough.

[Tsutsie]

The school DS attends is fantastic, beautiful and comprehensive. They accept children over the 75th percentile and is currently rated #1 for elementary schools in our province. Their teachers are amazing, the administration has been fantastic thus far and we feel very lucky to be there.

 

I definitely do think they "collect" super bright kids to keep their ranking where it is. If it drops not, who will pay almost $17k per year?

 

Since we have a scholarship, I have not asked for anything, never-mind insisted on something. I'm not sure I can?

I don't think they can possibly pull a scholarship :blink: - not while he is achieving perfect scores in everything (except for paying attention) and has no behavioural issues whatsoever. He definitely is an asset to any school he attends.

 

When I get the results of the CTBS tests in 2 weeks, I will have a better idea of what is going on and if my worry is really as warranted as it seems at this stage....and then make a decision regarding next year, IF they are not willing to work with us.

 

Let's hope we can make this work, because while homeschooling him is exciting, easy (he learns very, very fast) and full of adventure, it is also exhausting, challenging and feels like such a massive responsibility.

 

There is much less co-op opportunities around here, but if I have to, I will create such. Ha, even more work.

 

Anyway, he is calling me. (I planted him in front of the TV, watching Mythbusters. He has been calling me for the last 5 minutes, running up and down the stairs with questions for me or his dad.)

 

That reminds me, his teacher, whom I love, continuously stops him from asking questions in class, or commenting on things which is not in the Gr. 2 scope. I understand her frustration, but it also saddens me that he is losing his spark as far as his excitement for things go. In Gr. 2 they learned that there are 3 states of matter. He corrected her. She then told him to please not talk about that in class, as it will confuse the other children. He told me that he just keeps his mouth shut in class, because he will just stop him from saying what he wants to, in any case.

 

I feel for his teacher, I really do, but it also breaks my heart to think of my guy just sitting there, waiting for recess....

[quark]

Anyway, he is calling me. (I planted him in front of the TV, watching Mythbusters. He has been calling me for the last 5 minutes, running up and down the stairs with questions for me or his dad.)

 

That reminds me, his teacher, whom I love, continuously stops him from asking questions in class, or commenting on things which is not in the Gr. 2 scope. I understand her frustration, but it also saddens me that he is losing his spark as far as his excitement for things go. In Gr. 2 they learned that there are 3 states of matter. He corrected her. She then told him to please not talk about that in class, as it will confuse the other children. He told me that he just keeps his mouth shut in class, because he will just stop him from saying what he wants to, in any case.

 

I feel for his teacher, I really do, but it also breaks my heart to think of my guy just sitting there, waiting for recess....

 

{{{Hugs}}} Darn it, that's exactly why (at least one of the key reasons) we decided to homeschool. I have no bright ideas. Just lots of empathy for your situation. Good luck! Hope it all works out beautifully.

[ebunny]

 

. In Gr. 2 they learned that there are 3 states of matter. He corrected her. She then told him to please not talk about that in class, as it will confuse the other children. He told me that he just keeps his mouth shut in class, because he will just stop him from saying what he wants to, in any case.

 

I feel for his teacher, I really do, but it also breaks my heart to think of my guy just sitting there, waiting for recess....

 

 

Fwiw, there are very very few B/M schools that will be the right fit for the >95%. And as you mentioned, he's going to one of the best, if not the best school in your city/neighborhood.

So, don't fall prey to the self doubt that accompanies such decision making.

 

Secondly, my Dd faced the same problems wrt correcting information coming from the teacher. We've been fortunate that her teacher is magnanimous and let's such things pass.

 

. Can you have a chat with his Teacher and somehow get her to acknowledge your son's predicament? You could also mention that he looks up to his teacher and gets disheartened when she is being dismissive.

If you have her on your side, half the battle is won...

Just my 2 cents. HTH

[blondeviolin]

This is one reason I think I'm so exhausted lately! I can only empathize. The only way I can deal with it all the time is I've got a pile of them all close together that are just as nerdy and needy.

[HS Mom in NC]

I agree that the prestige of a school is a poor measure of the quality of the education. It seems clear that the child was doing fine at home; the strain was on his family and esp. his mother.

 

I respectfully disagree that the scholarship "should be" for someone who would be less bored than the OP's child. The scholarship committee was looking for a very bright child, who lacked means to attend without aid, who would be able to succeed at the school. I don't think the OP is misusing the scholarship: again, the committee isn't going to be troubled that she finds him too much of a handful at home and that's why she wants him in their school. This is perfectly okay with them. The benefit to the school accrues from having such a bright child in the classes (and as fellow to the other students), from increasing the diversity of their student body, and from fulfilling their own goals of educating children.

 

I'm sure that if the OP explains to the school that her child is not fully engaged, their response won't be to pull the scholarship b/c he's not the intended recipient; I don't know what their response would be, though. Sounds like it wouldn't be very helpful!

 

 

I don't believe for minute that the person who put the money up for that scholarship did so to have a bright child academically neglected and only attending for the sake of recess. I would have to hear it from their own mouth to believe it. Meanwhile children in that area sit neglected in ps unable to afford tuition to this school that would be a good fit for them.

[dharmacat]

I'd also have to sit around composing Ryan Gosling "No longer homsechooling" mems ;)

 

You need to eat chocolate, take bubble baths, and drink wine... Maybe even call in a maid... This is the daydream I have about what I would do if I were not homeschooling!

 

[Dmmetler]

Is there a Canadian equivalent of Davidson, a program that identifies and works with highly gifted kids that would advocate on his behalf? In a school of over 75% kids, a grade skip or maybe even a subject acceleration for part of the day (say, to a class doing SM 5 instead of SM 2) might be enough to at least keep him interested. 75% instruction might not be enough for a 99% kid, but it's likely there are some common interests to make it a good fit-and that might be enough for the social pars of the day, if academic needs can be met part of the time.

[Runningmom80]

Is there a Canadian equivalent of Davidson, a program that identifies and works with highly gifted kids that would advocate on his behalf? In a school of over 75% kids, a grade skip or maybe even a subject acceleration for part of the day (say, to a class doing SM 5 instead of SM 2) might be enough to at least keep him interested. 75% instruction might not be enough for a 99% kid, but it's likely there are some common interests to make it a good fit-and that might be enough for the social pars of the day, if academic needs can be met part of the time.

 

 

This is what I was going to say. A FSIQ of 151 is 99.99999 you get the picture. It is way different usually than even a kid at the 95th %.

 

I'd at least look into subje acceleration in math. A PG kid doing grade level math is bound to be bored, he may be dealing ok now, but after a while, I'd bet it's going to wear him down.

 

It's worth it to check out the public side of the Davidson forums. They are tremendously helpful!

[anabelneri]

When one of my friends was in school, he had one school that wasn't willing to grade accelerate him but they would let him work from the upper grade curriculum. He didn't get the classroom instruction for that grade level, but he had more appropriate material to occupy his brain in class. His teacher would let him work on his upper level work while the other kids worked on their grade-level work, and would help him when she could. Otherwise he participated in class like a regular student. I think they did this in both reading and math; I don't remember if any other subjects worked this way for him.

 

It's an idea. Maybe the teacher can help? I would guess that she feels bad about not being able to meet his needs also.

Sounds tough. My older daughter is similar, but the incessant conversation finally stopped when she got to a reading level that matched her brain's speed... now she disappears into a book instead of talking to us. I was so grateful that something made life easier.

 

Good luck!

[quark]

It's worth it to check out the public side of the Davidson forums. They are tremendously helpful!

 

OP, here's the link to what Runningmom80 is referring to. You might have already seen it (I think I have seen it mentioned on this board a few times).

 

One other thing that occurred to me is to try to get your hands on a copy of the book Exceptionally Gifted Children by Miraca Gross. She lists some of the strategies used in her test subject's schools (ETA: those not homeschooled) in order to appropriately challenge the kids. Something there might be useful to you.

[serendipitous journey]

The Davidson rec.s seem on target. And, OP, I definitely would encourage you to speak to the school about your concerns & your child's challenges. Esp. since you like the teacher, and you understand that your child can be sometimes frustrating :), you are in a good position (I think) to have a productive conversation with, perhaps, her & the head of school? at any rate, the school is bound to be interested in fostering a love of learning & in the welfare of the students. With the perspective/help of the Davidson resources, esp., you might be able to accomplish something.

 

(although you can't guarantee that the administrators you deal with will be empathetic and logical, for sure)

 

 

I don't believe for minute that the person who put the money up for that scholarship did so to have a bright child academically neglected and only attending for the sake of recess. I would have to hear it from their own mouth to believe it. Meanwhile children in that area sit neglected in ps unable to afford tuition to this school that would be a good fit for them.

 

 

Well, no, I don't imagine they put the money up for a bright child to be academically neglected and attending for the sake of recess. The child is not attending for the point of recess, it seems to me: he's attending school because he needs to be educated. My point is that if the scholarship committee (and the person/persons who finance the scholarship) knew that this child was not being challenged, they would not wish they'd given the money to a less competent child. The OP isn't, I believe, taking an inappropriate advantage of the monies by having a child who is on the PG end of things and requires extra consideration in his education.

 

You sound frustrated & disturbed to think that while a child is being bored in this class, there are other deserving children who would be challenged by it. I absolutely understand that frustration! I didn't mean to offend & am sorry if I sounded harsh, or unsympathetic ... I myself have been on the receiving end of scholarships and charitable monies (and I was not one who was coasting through my classes!) and know this is a volatile & sensitive issue.

 

greenmama2, I didn't have a chance to reply to your comment upthread & forgot to multi-quote it here (where AM schooling is full swing)... your perspective makes good sense to me.

[HS Mom in NC]

Well, no, I don't imagine they put the money up for a bright child to be academically neglected and attending for the sake of recess. The child is not attending for the point of recess, it seems to me: he's attending school because he needs to be educated.

 

Based on the original post, it seems to me the child isn't being educated. He's ahead of where this class is. Sitting in a classroom with little to nothing of value for this specific child isn't educating him. It's a waste of the child's time and the scholarship funder's money. I stand by my statement that the person funding that scholarship intended it to meet a child's academic needs. Based on everything I read that isn't happening with this kid in this class.

[Sahamamama]

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[Sahamamama]

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[Tsutsie]

He has had many toys and few toys. He has had plastic, montessori, waldorf - you name it. (Not at the same time.) He will do something I tell him to do, but inquires if it is a demand or a request. I have spent his life trying to find something, anything, that will interest him that does not involve me.

He likes chemistry, but the level of his interest does not allow him to work independently, given his age. He will read, mostly non fiction, but then I will be bombarded with questions, interrogated for more info. It goes on and on.

I have let him cry for attention, I have given him all he asks for, and I have done all in between.

 

Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

;(

[Tracy]

He has had many toys and few toys. He has had plastic, montessori, waldorf - you name it. (Not at the same time.) He will do something I tell him to do, but inquires if it is a demand or a request. I have spent his life trying to find something, anything, that will interest him that does not involve me.

He likes chemistry, but the level of his interest does not allow him to work independently, given his age. He will read, mostly non fiction, but then I will be bombarded with questions, interrogated for more info. It goes on and on.

I have let him cry for attention, I have given him all he asks for, and I have done all in between.

 

Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

;(

 

 

I have one that talks and one that doesn't do anything but lay around until I let him use the computer. I can't imagine rolling that into a single child! :grouphug:

 

Regardless of what you decide to do with his schooling, I think you are going to need to do some training. He does need to learn appropriate interactions with people and learn to discern when is the right time for them.

 

With my talker, I had a really hard time getting through dictation with her, because every single word spurred a thousand comments/questions. It was taking us an hour to write 10 words! I ran across a suggestion that has helped (though I warn you there is no cure). At the beginning of the activity where I want her to learn to limit her talking, I give her a small handful to mini-M&M's. Every time she talks out of turn, I get to eat one of her M&M's. I don't say anything about it. I don't reprimand her or complain. I just eat the M&M (and sometimes savor it quite a bit). I don't do this every day, but only when it gets bad or after we have had a break and need some reminders. I was concerned that she would see it as mean, but it has turned into quite the delightful challenge for her.

 

In addition to learning appropriate interactions, he is also going to have to learn how to feed himself intellectually, just as he learned to feed himself the food he eats. Just as you don't sit an 8mo baby in front of a steak and a knife and fork, you are not going to tell your 7yo to go to his room for 2 hours. You are going to have to start with a short time, like 5 or 10 minutes. Before it happens, make sure it is scheduled and he knows it will happen. Together, come up with a list of things that he could do for that time. You can put some things on the list, and he can put other things on the list. If he can't think of anything, then give him a book to read. You could even give him an incentive for thinking of things to put on the list.

 

I agree that you are going to need to take away that screen time, but I wouldn't take it away altogether (unless I thought his behavior looked too much like an addiction). I would make him earn it. Perhaps he gets as much computer time as he stays quiet in his room. You could use a sticker chart. You could use marbles in a jar.

 

I think that you are going to have to provide this training, no matter what you decide to do with school. Your relationship with him depends on it.

[serendipitous journey]

He has had many toys and few toys. He has had plastic, montessori, waldorf - you name it. (Not at the same time.) He will do something I tell him to do, but inquires if it is a demand or a request. I have spent his life trying to find something, anything, that will interest him that does not involve me.

He likes chemistry, but the level of his interest does not allow him to work independently, given his age. He will read, mostly non fiction, but then I will be bombarded with questions, interrogated for more info. It goes on and on.

I have let him cry for attention, I have given him all he asks for, and I have done all in between.

 

Any other suggestions will be greatly appreciated.

;(

 

 

 

My older child is similar to this, but not as extreme. :grouphug:

 

Tracy's post above is exactly right: you will need to train around this. It'll definitely be an ongoing process, but will also definitely improve. In general I've found good perspective from Charlotte Mason folks on these character training issues, so you might want to look at those character resources.

 

I think the goal you would want -- the grand goal -- is a child who has a good ability to keep himself occupied for stretches of time. If so, the next-step, proximate goal is to get him working by himself for just a little while, and begin to shift the onus of entertaining him onto himself.

 

A good general strategy is to reward his positive behavior -- in this case, keeping himself occupied for a bit -- with grand and enthusiastic, beaming affection. When he is not behaving as you'd like, be calm and flat but do your best to not emote anything: stay calm, and don't let yourself act negatively. Enact consequences (around here, often time-outs) as necessary but with calmness. What this accomplishes is that the child needs to be behave well to get a bit response, and children are designed to try and elicit strong responses (even if negative) so it sets a good tone. (forgive if this is all old hat to you, or dismiss it if you disagree)

 

With Button I made progress in keeping him occupied with Legos (for example) by buying kits and requiring him to work through all the projects, with my help or my husbands. After he's done a project per school day until all possible projects were finished -- or worked with a more complicated kit for a reasonable amount of time daily -- he'll have more experience under his belt for his own projects. You can have him work for 5 minutes or so at a time if he still hasn't developed initiative. Do 5 or 10 minutes independent work, followed by something fun -- maybe equal video/game time. If he just sits there, require a predefined finished product before he does his Fun Thing. If he keeps interrupting you, gently time him out immediately. If you time him out promptly for every interruption during his "independent" work, it should be gradually effective even if the time-outs are only a minute or two long.

 

He is also old enough that you can start assigning him independent fiction reading. Perhaps start with Third Grade Detectives, Magic Treehouse, or Droon if those aren't too twaddly. If he has a questions, have him write them all down first. Then perhaps put a delay between when he writes them and when you or his father deal with them. Then start having him try to look up each answer first, using the index or table of contents of an appropriate book (you'll have to teach him how to identify questions that you do have books for, and how to look things up, but then you can just have him do this work before you answer the question. Check that he's looked up the answer; check where he looked for it; go over how the information could be found; get a summary of his results).

 

Next year you can start asking for a little paragraph of relevant information before you do his work for him by answering. :)

 

You could also introduce an online encyclopedia -- if you don't have a subscription, check if you can do it via his school or your library sites.

 

Weather and neighborhood allowing, send him outside for 5 - 10 minutes periodically. If he complains invite him in to help dry dishes or something. This is annoying at first but soon they learn!

 

Apply that chore strategy generally. You may need to come up with a few chores that he can do and yet won't want to do. Spring is coming -- mark out a little garden bed and have him dig it to a prescribed depth, then help plant. Or polish windows with glass wax (less messy and more time consuming than washing them). Or post on the general ed board for better chore ideas.

 

Also, consider generously using educational DVDs to maintain your sanity.

 

Can you have him work with your younger child? I don't know what would suit their temperaments. Building a safe-ish fort out of couch pillows, maybe. Or decorating cardboard boxes with markers. Bathing. Whatever.

 

I hope some of those thoughts are useful -- I am sure none is a panacea -- and I am so glad that you put the child into school when it was just too much; and that you put in such effort to get him into a good school. With patient work, this will get better.

[serendipitous journey]

Based on the original post, it seems to me the child isn't being educated. He's ahead of where this class is. Sitting in a classroom with little to nothing of value for this specific child isn't educating him. It's a waste of the child's time and the scholarship funder's money. I stand by my statement that the person funding that scholarship intended it to meet a child's academic needs. Based on everything I read that isn't happening with this kid in this class.

 

You and I are absolutely on the same side, regarding the scholarship being for the actual education of a child, and regarding this child's academic needs not being met. If we have a different perspective, it seems to be related to the ethics of this child continuing to receive the scholarship if he is bored. I believe that best response from all perspectives, incl. that of the school, the child, the mother, the teacher, the other students, and the scholarship donor(s), is to try to accommodate the child's special needs. I don't think the scholarship folks would want the bored child replaced, but I do think they would want him challenged.

 

I don't want to derail the thread too much, so won't post on this again (though of course I'll look for your response, if you post one!)-- if you'd like, we could start a new one for discussing this topic.

[Greenmama2]

 

You and I are absolutely on the same side, regarding the scholarship being for the actual education of a child, and regarding this child's academic needs not being met. If we have a different perspective, it seems to be related to the ethics of this child continuing to receive the scholarship if he is bored. I believe that best response from all perspectives, incl. that of the school, the child, the mother, the teacher, the other students, and the scholarship donor(s), is to try to accommodate the child's special needs. I don't think the scholarship folks would want the bored child replaced, but I do think they would want him challenged.

 

I don't want to derail the thread too much, so won't post on this again (though of course I'll look for your response, if you post one!)-- if you'd like, we could start a new one for discussing this topic.

 

Oh yes, I agree with this. I guess I'm just being a pessimist expecting that the school probably wont accelerate/do whatever else to meet his needs & he would be better off homeschooled & the scholarship $ spent on someone who would benefit from what the school has (& is prepared) to offer. I really hope that's not the case.

I love your suggestions post and I'm copying for my own use ;)

Good luck OP :)

[songsparrow]

They wrote the CTBS (Canadian Test of Basic Skills) a few weeks ago, and we should have to results in 2 weeks. I think I'm going to wait for those to come back, and then rock the boat if it warrants it.

 

Only thing is, it will be March already. Is it worth it moving him up a grade that late in the year

 

One of my children moved up a grade level in February. I actually used it as an argument in my favor - she could try out the higher grade level for the remainder of the school year. If she did well, she could move on to the next grade level; if it didn't work out, she could repeat that grade level the next year.

 

Also, about the test results, I hope they come back with a very high score. Just be aware that for some kids, if they are bored with the material, they don't really apply themselves and so the test scores don't accurately reflect their abilities.

 

That reminds me, his teacher, whom I love, continuously stops him from asking questions in class, or commenting on things which is not in the Gr. 2 scope. I understand her frustration, but it also saddens me that he is losing his spark as far as his excitement for things go. In Gr. 2 they learned that there are 3 states of matter. He corrected her. She then told him to please not talk about that in class, as it will confuse the other children. He told me that he just keeps his mouth shut in class, because he will just stop him from saying what he wants to, in any case.

 

I feel for his teacher, I really do, but it also breaks my heart to think of my guy just sitting there, waiting for recess....

 

BTDT, and my heart goes out to you and your son. I encourage you to think about all of the options open to you. Talk to his teacher and see what she thinks, is she seeing his frustration and boredom, does she think he's capable of more? If she agrees he can do more and might do well at a higher class level, then she'd be a good advocate for you. But bear in mind that most teachers (at least in the US, maybe it's different in Canada) have little to no training in recognizing or working with gifted students. Talk to the school about moving him up a grade. Perhaps getting him tested for giftedness would help, if they are influenced by test scores. Talk to the teacher about sending in material for him to do on his own (there's another active thread on that topic right now). And you can take this time while he is in school to really research the options to meet your needs if you were to homeschool him again. Talk to your son about exactly what he likes about school, and think about how you could meet those needs at home.

 

My kids enjoyed school at your son's age, too. One skipped a grade, and the other daydreamed most of the day (although I didn't realize it at the time). Still, by the time they each reached 4th grade, school was no longer working for either of them.

 

ETA: And I understand the appeal of a private school that says their staff knows how to work with bright kids. It took me a while to realize that many private schools are no better at meeting the needs of gifted kids than many public schools. Children working at the 75th or 85th percentile are still operating very differently than children above the 95th percentile. I'd really ask the teachers and administration about their philosophy toward gifted kids (Do they think they exist with unique and legitimate issues that need to be met, or do they think "all kids are gifted"?) and what resources they offer to meet their needs (And if they have such resources, why haven't they been offered to your son?).