mama2cntrykids Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 All of our kids have interests, just like us. If they wanted to create an account and post on a forum of interest, would you be ok with it? My boys are 12 and almost 10 and I just let each of them sign up for two different forums that relate to their topics of interest. I did inform them that I will be checking up on what they're saying in these forums. I just checked on my youngest ds' forum...ummm...we need to talk about manners on public forums I guess. Being an aspie and not quite ten, it's a tough thing to navigate for him, but needs to be done. At least it opens up different topics of discussion for us ;). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 It helps if the have their ages in their signatures. Then people are more guiding than judgmental. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Freckles Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 nope Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara in Colo Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I let my dd12 on a chicken forum, but I have all the responses emailed to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 4, 2013 Author Share Posted January 4, 2013 I let my dd12 on a chicken forum, but I have all the responses emailed to me. That's a good idea! I think that I will do that with both of them. They are signed up under my email addy anyway. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Snow Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Who are the boards aimed at? Who is posting on them, other kids? adults? i would monitor the boards for a while first and get a feel for the regulars but assuming those things panned out okay, i would let them. I would Not have them put their ages in their signature as a stranger danger precaution. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie G Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 We did- and our youngest kids are now 18 and 20 so it's been quite a while. Our 20 year old still stays in daily contact with at least three people she 'met' online when she was between 10 and 12. One is graduating from college this spring and dd is planning to travel to Texas to attend it. It's been a good thing for our kids- where we live, it was difficult to find people with shared interests and the internet opened up a whole new world for them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dmmetler Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 My DD is on a forum that is about 1/2 snake professionals-snake breeders,pet store owners, vets, vet techs, herpetology professors, fish and game officers, etc, and the other half hobbyists. Before I set up the account, I lurked for several weeks and read a lot of archives, and checked with the owner/moderator and asked him if it was OK if I set up a shared account, where DD would be able to read and post, but where I'd also be reading/posting on the same account, and where all PMs would go to me. At his suggestion, I set up a signature that explained that this was a shared account for parent/child and DD's age, and that we would sign our posts accordingly-and DD has followed that rule. There were a couple of hiccups in the beginning-once where she inadvertently stepped on some toes by asking for "no pics please"-because she didn't know how to post her pictures of HER snake and didn't know how to explain that, and since a big part of this board is breeders showing off their creations, that didn't go over well, and once when she posted smilies that she thought were just plain neat, but that were effectively accusing another poster of spamming the board. In both cases, the responses from others did a better job of teaching her that she'd made a mistake than I could have-although in both cases I DID post to explain that, yes, this was a post from a 7 yr old-and to thank them for their understanding. She's gotten much, much better at it with practice, and is learning a lot. She is also on the forums at Athena's Academy, and I consider those one of the best parts of DD taking Athena's classes, because there she's on with other kids her age, but with enough adult moderation that I don't have to moderate for her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommy22alyns Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Not until they're 13 at least. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 It depends on the site and how you'd monitor it. It also would depend upon forum rules, many non--child specific sites want posters to be at least 13. I would also do some point blank discussion of the rules, no names, no private messages, no giving out information. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 It depends on the site and how you'd monitor it. It also would depend upon forum rules, many non--child specific sites want posters to be at least 13. I would also do some point blank discussion of the rules, no names, no private messages, no giving out information. :iagree: I also think it's a good idea to pre-screen the forums, because some of them are not as child-friendly as you might think. I have seen forums that sound like they're for kids, but the language and the avatar images are definitely Rated M for Mature. :eek: Right now, my ds isn't on any forums, although we do visit some of them together when we're looking for info about one of his hobbies or about a particular video game or something like that. I wouldn't be comfortable with him actually participating in any of the forums right now, though -- but I'm known to be paranoid about personal security, so I may not be the best person to ask about this stuff! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arcadia Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Not at the moment because I don't want to spend the time monitoring the forums. My kids have chat in their virtual school's clubs (8 ~ 14 years old) and even with the teacher moderating language can get interesting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ccolopy Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 DS is active on two baseball forums. I had DH check them out beforehand, but I trust him to conduct himself well on the forums and let one of us know if there are any problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Once Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 We did it for my oldest daughter at 12 yrs thinking she would just read but she got sucked in and started posting....alot. I would not recommend it and in fact we took access away several months later because she came to us all stressed about her deception. It was a hard lesson for us all. I would not suggest it for anyone at your children's ages. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
magnificent_baby Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 No, I would not. Too many risks, especially the possibility of adults posing as kids. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 No, big no. Just no. BTDT. No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reya Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 I guess in answer to the first question--I wouldn't with my soon-to-be-10-year-old. He is NOT ready. But I've really appreciated it when I've known that kids on other forums were, in fact, kids. It means that a more gentle approach than a slapdown is appropriate when they do something that and ADULT would know better than doing but a child might not. So that's my context. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 When DS2 was 12, I let him sign up on the Red Sox message boards. If anyone clicked on his name, they found out he was 12 years old. I monitored his use, and if anyone was mean, I'd send them a PM and tell them I was his mother, he was 12, and to lay off. That only happened a couple of times. I was nice, but firm, and they were nice once they found out they were "talking" to a kid. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ewe Mama Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Nope. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Yes. With an Aspie, I'd likely wait longer and monitor more. I consider coached, supervised online use a life skill area for 2012. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 No. We're pretty easy-going on most screen stuff, but no forums, yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Yes. With an Aspie, I'd likely wait longer and monitor more. I consider coached, supervised online use a life skill area for 2012. One that could be learned a lot closer to 18, or picked up on their own later, the same way we all learned. The question was specifically about forums, which is about meeting people and interacting online, not research or how to. I do not want my children meeting people online while still children. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 Yes. With an Aspie, I'd likely wait longer and monitor more. I consider coached, supervised online use a life skill area for 2012. We do too, Joanne! However, we are darn picky about it. I've got some narci relatives on FB and they make more drama than Hollywood. So, no FB because we don't want our family drawn into that. We keep our heads low with these people. Ds, the middle one, in particular, has a small group of herpetologists/zoologists that allow him to "chat" or post on their private forum. Our veterinarian arranged for that and I'm comfortable that he is reasonably safe in doing so. The eldest has a "programming" club and again, it's mostly populated by professionals and all techie talk, talk. The youngest, my shy astronomer/physicist/mathematician is not the least bit interested. They do not have their own email and we set the passwords with dh having "back doors" into them. It's not because we don't trust them, but because they may still not be mature enough to understand that you can never completely know the character of people in the internet twilight zone so we want to monitor to make sure they are safe and know one is asking for personal contact information or "grooming" them or something. The boys have accepted this without agnst. But, we have a really good relationship, very open and talk A LOT about these kinds of issues, and so they don't seem to mind. My niece on the other hand, not even old enough to be on facebook, has an account since her parents lied about her age so she could have one. They do not monitor it and she says the most outrageous and sometimes dangerous things on them. She's "friended" about 300 people, most of whom are total strangers to her. Sigh...she'll give her cell phone number and location to ANYONE who asks. I think internet skills and the safe navigation of the web is important for teens to learn. I also think that parents should be doing the teaching and coaching as well as some serious supervising during their young teen years. Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted January 4, 2013 Share Posted January 4, 2013 One that could be learned a lot closer to 18, or picked up on their own later, the same way we all learned. The question was specifically about forums, which is about meeting people and interacting online, not research or how to. I do not want my children meeting people online while still children. Um? Ok. I realize what the question was. I believe that the OP wanted opinions about what I do with MY kids, not what I think you do with yours. I believe learning to interact with *people* online is a skill needed before age 18. Therefore, I teach my kids that skill along the way, in age/developmentally appropriate settings, from birth on. There is plenty in life they can learn "easily", "later" but I intentionally choose to teach them about laundry, cooking, writing, budgeting, romantic/intimacy issues and online interaction. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 5, 2013 Author Share Posted January 5, 2013 I appreciate everyone's input. It's nice to know what other parents are doing with their children, regardless if you agree or not. Yes. With an Aspie, I'd likely wait longer and monitor more. I consider coached, supervised online use a life skill area for 2012. I decided last night that I just don't feel comfortable with him posting at this time. This incident showed me that he really isn't ready. He can read at the forum (I haven't seen any inappropriate talk on said forum), but not post. We talked about it this morning and he was upset, but I explained why and told him that it just wasn't ok to "talk" to people (even on-line) in that manner. It was uncalled for and it ruffled feathers. It was a live and learn moment :). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted January 5, 2013 Author Share Posted January 5, 2013 One that could be learned a lot closer to 18, or picked up on their own later, the same way we all learned. The question was specifically about forums, which is about meeting people and interacting online, not research or how to. I do not want my children meeting people online while still children. I see where you're coming from, but in this particular ds' case, it was to research and learn more from other ppl. It is a lizard/reptile forum with many knowledgeable ppl. I do see what you mean, however. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 My teens post on the 3DS plaza. DD13 is a moderator on a couple groups and posts in a few more. DS14 just bought his 3DS last week so he is brand new to posting in forums and it is a learning curve for him. the younger kids are not permitted yet to post online anywhere Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
redsquirrel Posted January 5, 2013 Share Posted January 5, 2013 my kids don't even know that internet forums exist. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoot Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 my kids don't even know that internet forums exist. Pretty much, this. DS13 may know that they exist but he hasn't expressed any interest whatsoever in being involved. If he did; however, I would discourage it. There are so many other things I would prefer that he be involved in at this age than internet forums. His internet usage is well monitored as it is, but forum use would mean a much, much higher level of supervision. Honestly, unless he had an incredibly good reason for being a part of a forum, I wouldn't want to waste my own time with such a high level of online supervision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 Yes, my 14yo goes on Ford mechanics message boards. He's currently re-building a 1998 Ford Ranger. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Twinmom Posted January 6, 2013 Share Posted January 6, 2013 No. Absolutely not. I think forums are great... obviously, because I am here. For my kids, it's not gonna happen anytime soon. See my post about being extremely angry with FB if you need more details. Nope, not ready yet here and not gonna be anytime soon, coaching or not. :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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