RainbowSprinkles Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I am seeing the same midwife as last pregnancy this time. I like her, we get along, and she pretty much lets me have my way. The only problem is that she was LATE when I was ready to push. As in I had to wait 20 minutes to push out a baby that was so ready. She was late after being called multiple times and knowing I have quick labors. My DH hates the fact that she was late and wants me to change midwifes. WWYD? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 What was her explanation for her tardiness? If she's just habitually very late, that's a lot different than if she was dealing with a one-time emergency. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 What was her explanation for her tardiness? If she's just habitually very late, that's a lot different than if she was dealing with a one-time emergency. Good question. I never asked.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommymilkies Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Good question. I never asked.... I would ask. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LaxMom Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I would ask. Me, too. And I would make it clear that there is just not going to be any waiting. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 I would ask. Me, too. And I would make it clear that there is just not going to be any waiting. Would it not be awkward to ask a year later? What if she doesn't even remember? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Does she have a backup midwife? If not, or if you only want her, you're probably not going to get a 100% guarantee that she'll be there on time, because she might be with another woman in labor when you want her. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sgo95 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 How much notice did she have (from your first serious call to her arrival)? What time of day/night was it? I've had midwives take 45min to an hour to arrive, which I thought was reasonable, given it was the middle of the night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Would it not be awkward to ask a year later? What if she doesn't even remember? If it was a big deal type of thing that made her late, or if she was at a family reunion 2 hours away from your house, she will remember. If she laughs off the question like it was no big deal, that's something else entirely. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I stayed away from a midwife who was 1 hour away and whom I did not think would get there in time, and who took over a week to reply to emails and phone calls. I had a friend who went to the same ob-gyn for two births, and the doctor was late both times. Otherwise, I wouldn't wait 20 min to push. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momacacia Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 If it were a homebirth before and this time, I'd ask about it, but if I really loved the MW is get a very experienced doula whom I knew would be there to catch 'just in case.' If a hospital birth, I'd have pushed anyway (just tough, a nurse can catch), I'd ask the MW about the situation but stick with her if I really liked her care otherwise and her reasons for tardiness were legit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I'd ask why. I'm going with my midwife who missed the birth, but that's because he flew out 7 min after I called, and I caught him. Not her fault he came so quickly. That was almost 2 years ago and she remembers it clearly. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I'd ask why. I'm going with my midwife who missed the birth, but that's because he flew out 7 min after I called, and I caught him. Not her fault he came so quickly. That was almost 2 years ago and she remembers it clearly. !! Is that an announcement? Or just plans for the future? :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 Does she have a backup midwife? If not, or if you only want her, you're probably not going to get a 100% guarantee that she'll be there on time, because she might be with another woman in labor when you want her. She partners with an OB, but I only see her. It was a small hospital, only one other mom was there in labor and that was the OB's patient. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 How much notice did she have (from your first serious call to her arrival)? What time of day/night was it? I've had midwives take 45min to an hour to arrive, which I thought was reasonable, given it was the middle of the night. I arrived at the hospital around 9:30 am and informed her prior to arrival. She was kept updated during my labor, but it was her partner OB who was there already and checked on me once. I gave birth at 11:33 am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jpoy85 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 Shell remember. My Doula still remembers and its been 4yrs. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted October 1, 2012 Author Share Posted October 1, 2012 If it was a big deal type of thing that made her late, or if she was at a family reunion 2 hours away from your house, she will remember. If she laughs off the question like it was no big deal, that's something else entirely. It was a Monday. I'm pretty sure she was at her office which is a 5 minute car ride from the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 I'd find another. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LittleIzumi Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 !! Is that an announcement? Or just plans for the future? :D *cough*. *edits siggy*. :D OP, I would ask but if there was no emergency delay, I would interview other midwives to see if you can find a better. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
IsabelC Posted October 1, 2012 Share Posted October 1, 2012 *cough*. *edits siggy*. :D OP, I would ask but if there was no emergency delay, I would interview other midwives to see if you can find a better. Congratulations :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 She may have been at her office, but there may have been another patient she was seeing (she could have been covering at the office for the OB). Midwives AND OB's can and are late for births, particularly quick ones. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KatA Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Maybe be up front with her, explain that your husband is concerned by her tardiness last time (blame him! :001_smile:) and you were just wondering why so you can clear the air. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I arrived at the hospital around 9:30 am and informed her prior to arrival. She was kept updated during my labor, but it was her partner OB who was there already and checked on me once. I gave birth at 11:33 am. Why did *you* wait on *her*? ... That's a serious question. It's not an approach I understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Forget-Me-Not Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 *cough*. *edits siggy*. :D OP, I would ask but if there was no emergency delay, I would interview other midwives to see if you can find a better. Congratulations!!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RainbowSprinkles Posted October 2, 2012 Author Share Posted October 2, 2012 It was a Monday. I'm pretty sure she was at her office which is a 5 minute car ride from the hospital. Why did *you* wait on *her*? ... That's a serious question. It's not an approach I understand. Well, I said to the nurses: Can't you just catch the baby? No response. So I wasn't going to risk incompetent people catching my baby. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jennsmile Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I would be prepared to catch my own baby or have my dh catch the little one. It sounds like you are lucky. Very few of us have midwives in hospital settings. It could have been the nurses didn't think you were as far as you were and told her she didn't need to rush. Since she is in a hospital setting she is more like a doctor in her practice. A homebirth midwife would have fewer clients and come out and probably stay till the baby came. But you had another provider check in on you and nurses so there was no reason to get the midwife there till delivery time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Why did *you* wait on *her*? ... That's a serious question. It's not an approach I understand. :iagree: I've had six live births and with everyone, once through transition and pushing started, I couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to. Why not just tell her your concerns? I would be far more worried about the detriments of not pushing /delivering that I would be about who's doing the catching. But, unless you talk to her, she's not going to know your concerns and how to address them. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom-ninja. Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 :iagree: I've had six live births and with everyone, once through transition and pushing started, I couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to. This. There is no way I could have not pushed. My body took over and there was nothing I could do about it. My midwife missed the birth. She arrived about 10 minutes later. She was driving as fast as she could, but my little guy wanted out. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
brehon Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 :iagree: I've had six live births and with everyone, once through transition and pushing started, I couldn't have stopped it if I wanted to. Why not just tell her your concerns? I would be far more worried about the detriments of not pushing /delivering that I would be about who's doing the catching. But, unless you talk to her, she's not going to know your concerns and how to address them. :iagree: completely. When my babies want out there's no holding them back! Including number 5 who was born in the van on the way to the hospital. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammi K Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 :iagree: completely. When my babies want out there's no holding them back! Including number 5 who was born in the van on the way to the hospital. We did it in a Toyota!:tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 Well, I said to the nurses: Can't you just catch the baby? No response. So I wasn't going to risk incompetent people catching my baby. Most of the time, the baby doesn't need "catching." Our youngest landed on my bed and I picked him up when I was ready. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
A.Balaban Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 I would ask. But, I'd also consider your delivery plans. Do you plan on delivering in the same place, or different? What options are available etc.... I would think since there were nurses/Dr. to check on you, they probably just miscalculated how far along you were in labor. The nurse did that to me when I was in labor with my DD, and I had to B-E-G her to get the MW. TWICE. :glare: If i was in a situation where the MW was providing my ONLY care (say, a homebirth) and was late for no reason, then yes.... but, there are other patients, phone calls (with other worried, pregnant, patients) and a million things that could happen (does the MW have kids?) that could hold up someone for a completely innocent reason. Now, if this was someone who was consistently late for appointments, and rescheduled everything, I would say yes, look for another MW. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 2, 2012 Share Posted October 2, 2012 It was in Hong Kong where only OBs deliver. The midwife who was monitoring me was muttering, 'If he doesn't come soon I'm delivering this baby myself,' but she would have been in trouble if she had. He walked in in his suit and said, 'Do I have time to change?' and the midwife told him he certainly didn't. He explained afterwards that he had been 'saving' his daughter from a wasp (he lived on the hospital campus). I wasn't impressed - he certainly wasn't leaving his small daughter alone to come to me, so he should have let the other adult deal with it. In your place, I'd do what a pp suggested: mention that your husband is concerned and see what she says. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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