Celia Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Let me just say off the cuff that I'm not a fan of sleepovers, but the kids love them, so I go with it occasionally. I'm a mom who is big on bedtimes and good night's sleeps. Because I'm perhaps a little over-protective, and my kids are still so young (6 and 8) I don't let my kids sleep over at people houses unless I've known them for years upon years. So, when other kids want to have sleepovers with mine, they happen at my house. The thing is, I think I may be a bit of a party-pooper, because I don't want young kids up super late. I show them a good time up till around 9pm (mine are in bed between 7-8 on other nights), then it's into bed with a little bit of whispering allowed before quiet time. 3 strikes of disobeying quiet time, and you'll be seperated into a different room. Some of the ones that come over have way later bedtimes than mine, and the kids that are here tonight said that at their last sleepover, they were up until the sun started coming up. They're only 6. I can see doing that when your 10ish or older, and the parents can go to sleep without worry, but I'm not about to let 6yr olds run around my house while I'm sleeping. These kids normally go to bed around 9ish, so it's not like I'm even really letting them stay up late from their perspective. So, how do you do sleepover when the kids are little? Do you just plan on not getting much sleep yourself? Do you not allow sleepovers till they're older? Or are you the mean mom who enforces bedtime? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joker Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Midnight has been the cutoff here. We do a lot of fun stuff/they play until about 10/11 and then decide on a movie. They get out their sleeping bags and watch until they fall asleep or it's over. When it's over I turn it off, and go to bed. Usually they are all asleep by then at that age. It's a sleepover and they're rare here so I'm pretty flexible with bedtimes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondeviolin Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 My kids have never had friends spend the night... :001_huh: I guess here comes the "unsocialized homeschooler.". BUT, as a parent of a 6yo, I wouldn't want my kid up past 10/11...so that would be when I'd say it was time for bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 That is very young for a sleep over, IMO. (6 y/o) We generally don't sleep over or have anyone else sleep over at that young of an age. (There is one child who does and my dc go over to his house, but that is because our families have been friends for 10+ years and we - the parents - are basically all parents for all the dc. :D ) I would put a calming movie on around 9 or 9:30 and have that be the settle down and fall asleep time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 My big kids had their very first sleep over here last weekend. They are both 13 so this was not little kids. I sent them all to bed at 2am when I headed to bed. They had been on youtube and facebook in my office while I read in my room(my office is attached to my room, so I could still supervise them). I allowed my kids to go to 1 sleepover at ages 10&11 and it was very very bad (the mother left the kids home alone to go to the bar), so it wasn't until this summer my 13 yr old slept elsewhere for the first time since then and this one here last weekend. I think with teens, as an occasional thing it is fine, they can handle 1 night of less sleep, that is half the fun of a sleep over. Younger than that, essentially you are babysitting, and with my youngers I guard their sleep more than I do the teens. So no sleepovers for them yet. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
soonermomma Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I would not separate or threaten to separate the friend and my child to separate rooms. I think that would be scary for the friend even if they are used to be being at your house. At that age I would sit or lay down with them to get them settled down if it got too late. My daughter had a sleep over a week ago for her 7th birthday. I had 7 girls here that ranged in age from 7-9. I had to sit in the living room with them for a little while to get them to settle down. Several of them fell asleep but there were some stragglers that didn't. I told them to stay laying down and watch the movie until they fell asleep and to come get me if they needed me. I guess I expect to have late nights when I'm hosting a sleep over. I like early bed times too, but I also think there are special occasions where you say to heck with bed time, lets have some fun! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cindergretta Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I would not separate or threaten to separate the friend and my child to separate rooms. I think that would be scary for the friend even if they are used to be being at your house. At that age I would sit or lay down with them to get them settled down if it got too late. My daughter had a sleep over a week ago for her 7th birthday. I had 7 girls here that ranged in age from 7-9. I had to sit in the living room with them for a little while to get them to settle down. Several of them fell asleep but there were some stragglers that didn't. I told them to stay laying down and watch the movie until they fell asleep and to come get me if they needed me. I guess I expect to have late nights when I'm hosting a sleep over. I like early bed times too, but I also think there are special occasions where you say to heck with bed time, lets have some fun! Excellent post. ITA. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jen3kids Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I was that mean sleep-over mom too. I explained to my kids that no one was staying up all night and I told the kids and parents that as well. A few parents thanked me and a few said good luck;) A few even asked why?:glare: My boys really do need to go to bed early because they do not/can not sleep in. When my kids were younger (7-9) I would turn the lights out at 10 and then I'd stay in the room until they were all asleep - they slept in the basement so I sat on the stairs reading. If I didn't, there would be at least one kid who kept everyone awake. Once, when my oldest had a sleepover at around age 8, 2 boys would not stop talking, even when I sat there. Four boys ended up in my son's room (including ds) at midnight (they were so mad at the noisy ones) and the 2 talkers stayed in the basement. I decided to sleep on the couch in the living room to prevent the 2 loud ones from sneaking upstairs. Those 2 boys were not invited back for a very long time and then it was only 1:1. My youngest just had a sleepover for his birthday. He had 5 boys. 3 were asleep by 11 and 3 were still awake when I went to be at 1, but they were whispering super-quietly so they weren't disturbing anyone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Girls' Mom Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I agree that your kids are young. The only sleepovers my kids had at that age were my nieces. It was always a battle to get them to go to sleep. We didn't have non-related friends sleep over until age 10 or so. Now the only rule is...keep it down to a dull roar after the parents go to bed. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mirth Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 So, how do you do sleepover when the kids are little? I don't. Is it just me, or does anyone else just pass on having more littke kids they're responsible for for 13+ hours straight (and not get paid for it)? I am basically pretty happy to get my own into bed each night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Unicorn. Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 For sleepovers at those ages, lights out by 10. My teens I send to their room by midnight, cuz I've had enough, but they usually stay up til 2 or 3 or dawn. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wheres Toto Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Midnight has been the cutoff here. We do a lot of fun stuff/they play until about 10/11 and then decide on a movie. They get out their sleeping bags and watch until they fall asleep or it's over. When it's over I turn it off, and go to bed. Usually they are all asleep by then at that age. It's a sleepover and they're rare here so I'm pretty flexible with bedtimes. I would not separate or threaten to separate the friend and my child to separate rooms. I think that would be scary for the friend even if they are used to be being at your house. At that age I would sit or lay down with them to get them settled down if it got too late. My daughter had a sleep over a week ago for her 7th birthday. I had 7 girls here that ranged in age from 7-9. I had to sit in the living room with them for a little while to get them to settle down. Several of them fell asleep but there were some stragglers that didn't. I told them to stay laying down and watch the movie until they fell asleep and to come get me if they needed me. I guess I expect to have late nights when I'm hosting a sleep over. I like early bed times too, but I also think there are special occasions where you say to heck with bed time, lets have some fun! :iagree: My younger guys haven't ever had sleep-overs but my oldest did starting at about 6 years old. Having them settle down with a quiet movie pretty much guaranteed they'd fall asleep. Once they were 9 or 10 years old, I would just leave them to it with warnings not to get too loud. I usually slept close enough to where they were that I could hear if there were problems. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tasia Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Between our four older kids, we host or send our kids to sleepovers almost every weekend. We don't allow sleepovers if we have something important to do the next day, and the kids accept that they'll be tired for their activities if they stay up all night, so I don't actually force them to go to sleep at a certain time. For one, they always sleep in the basement where they won't wake my youngest. If it's younger kids, Dh will sleep in the couch in the family room to be able to hear them. At a reasonable time (10 or 11 depending on their age), I make sure that they have beds set up, a movie to watch, and enough snacks for the night, then I go to bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 Midnight has been the cutoff here. We do a lot of fun stuff/they play until about 10/11 and then decide on a movie. They get out their sleeping bags and watch until they fall asleep or it's over. When it's over I turn it off, and go to bed. Usually they are all asleep by then at that age. It's a sleepover and they're rare here so I'm pretty flexible with bedtimes. DS has had a friend over a few times since turning six, and this is what we do. I would not separate or threaten to separate the friend and my child to separate rooms. I think that would be scary for the friend even if they are used to be being at your house. At that age I would sit or lay down with them to get them settled down if it got too late. My daughter had a sleep over a week ago for her 7th birthday. I had 7 girls here that ranged in age from 7-9. I had to sit in the living room with them for a little while to get them to settle down. Several of them fell asleep but there were some stragglers that didn't. I told them to stay laying down and watch the movie until they fell asleep and to come get me if they needed me. I guess I expect to have late nights when I'm hosting a sleep over. I like early bed times too, but I also think there are special occasions where you say to heck with bed time, lets have some fun! :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marbel Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 (edited) My experiences: 6 would have been too young for my kids. I can't remember when we started having sleepovers but maybe 8 or 10. My girl started earlier than my boy. Always and only with people we know very well. No matter what age. Once sleepovers started, I never cared what time they went to sleep or if they did. We never plan sleepovers when we have to do something important the next day. We also don't have many. My own feeling on kids and sleep is that yes they need it, but if they are old enough for a sleepover they are old enough to recover from a night's sleep deprivation. I suppose if I had a child with real problems related to sleep or lack thereof, I just wouldn't have sleepovers. My daughter recently went on a sleepover where the mom kept checking on the kids, enforced bedtime, etc. She said it was no fun at all, that she felt the mom was suspicious that the girls would misbehave. She is 13 though. ETA: I forgot about the flip side. I didn't want little kids here for sleepovers either. And only low-maintenance kids I can trust not to misbehave. No one with severe food allergies where a simple mistake on my part could have dire consequences. And only kids whose parents don't care what time they go to sleep! I always clear movie choices with parents beforehand too. Edited August 31, 2012 by marbel Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fairfarmhand Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I don't. Is it just me, or does anyone else just pass on having more littke kids they're responsible for for 13+ hours straight (and not get paid for it)? I am basically pretty happy to get my own into bed each night. :iagree: I don't even really like big kid sleepovers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2squared Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 We do sleepovers, but not at 6yo. Yikes. My 10yo has sleepovers at least every other weekend, and my 8yo has had one so far. When we have kids over, we pop popcorn and fill water bottles around 10:00, and they setttle down with their sleeping bags and pillows to watch a movie. That's when I go to bed. They usually don't stay up past the movie, but if they do, they are quiet. Some weekends I need rested children the next day, so I make sure to set the expectation when they arrive that the sleepover will result in a reasonable bedtime which is usually 10:00-11:00. I enforce the bedtime by sitting in the room while they are supposed to be going to sleep. We also do almost-overnights, and I really like these. We have the kids over afterschool, and they do all the "usual" sleepover activities including popcorn and movie. The popcorn and movie starts around 7:30 or 8:00, and then I take the guest home when the movie is over. Almost-overnights are very, very nice for both families. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AndrewsDK Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 DS is . He and his best friend have sleep overs all the time. I have no idea what time they go to bed at the friends house, but here, they get to stay up maybe 30 minutes past normal bedtime. I know they don't go to sleep once they are in the room, but as long as they are quiet enough that I can't hear them, they are fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QueenCat Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 We did sleep overs at age 6... don't see the problem with it, but that's each family's personal decision. However, if a child is used to staying up until 10 or 11, they aren't going to be able to just go to sleep early just because that's your rule... Stick a movie for some quiet time. I would never separate the guest, I find that somewhat cruel even though I know that's not your intention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dirty ethel rackham Posted August 31, 2012 Share Posted August 31, 2012 I don't do sleepovers with kids that young (outside of cousins.) We only just started them with dd12. (My boys never did them because they got enough of no-sleep outings with Boy Scouts camp outs. ) I've told my daughter that, if she chose to not get enough sleep, the rest of us should not have to suffer - meaning no crabbiness. We had one here recently and told everyone that lights go out at 11 and I should not hear a peep out of them after 11:30. If they whispered the night away, that was their business, but I expected cheerful faces the next morning. They obeyed. I can't say they got enough sleep, but they didn't keep the rest of us awake. That said, I am still not a fan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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