Grr - pregnancy & smoking

[cindergretta]

Dh and I started TTC last year. We have had 4 losses. :( I see pregnant women all the time and feel a pang. Tonight, on our way home, there was a hugely pregnant woman strolling across the street smoking a cigarette and it just irritated the living crap out of me.

 

I know my feelings are my own and no one else's problem. I know part of my level of irritation is due to PMS and extreme heat. But I was really upset.

 

<sigh>

[theYoungerMrsWarde]

:grouphug::grouphug: I'm so sorry. I watched the first season of Mad Men and saw the pregnant friend drinking and smoking and it made me wonder how a whole generation of babies survived and grew up okay! :glare:

Edited August 17, 2012 by theYoungerMrsWarde

[GWOB]

:grouphug: I get it. I've had two angel babies. I am a smoker. I have never smoker while pregnant or ttc. Even though we are effectively done, I still get annoyed when I see pregnant women smoking. I did everything right and still lost two babies. It doesn't go away. Ever. :grouphug:

 

Praying for a sticky baby for you!

[Ravin]

:grouphug: People smoking around kids bugs me, let alone while pregnant. I have a SIL who is a tiny bit of dumb luck away from being a CPS case, and has smoked through all 3 of her pregnancies. We were all shocked with #3, he was as big as my DD was at birth, her other two were five-odd pounders and she thought of that as NORMAL. She didn't even much want this last one, delayed seeking prenatal care because she didn't want to accept the pregnancy's existence--though she seems to have come to terms and now is doing fine with the baby, as fine as she was with her others, anyway.

 

I could go on ranting, but I won't.

 

I hope you have a sticky baby soon!

[LucyStoner]

It kills me too. I have had more miscarriages than I can count with one hand worth of fingers. Yet, my Aunt who has rightfully lost custody of 4 kids, who smokes and does recreational drugs, has a husband in and out of jail and who had already had a tubal ligation, somehow managed to get pregnant with her 8th child right after one of my miscarriages. I know it is not relevant but yeah, it totally stings. Since her youngest daughter was born, dad's been to prison once and jail twice, older brother went to prison and my aunt has neglected her medical care in favor of prayer, causing the child long term consequences. Looking at my well cared for, fed and protected sons who have a dad whose only run in with law enforcement has been a single speeding ticket, I just wonder why.

[Ibbygirl]

Dh and I started TTC last year. We have had 4 losses. :( I see pregnant women all the time and feel a pang. Tonight, on our way home, there was a hugely pregnant woman strolling across the street smoking a cigarette and it just irritated the living crap out of me.

 

I know my feelings are my own and no one else's problem. I know part of my level of irritation is due to PMS and extreme heat. But I was really upset.

 

<sigh>

 

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[Georgiana Daniels]

:grouphug:

 

It's hard to see that! I about blew a gasket when I saw a pregnant woman drinking. None of my business, but so, so hard to watch.

[Dobela]

I am so sorry. :grouphug: I know how hard it is to TTC and then see someone else not behaving as though it is an amazing treasure.

[GWOB]

It kills me too. I have had more miscarriages than I can count with one hand worth of fingers. Yet, my Aunt who has rightfully lost custody of 4 kids, who smokes and does recreational drugs, has a husband in and out of jail and who had already had a tubal ligation, somehow managed to get pregnant with her 8th child right after one of my miscarriages. I know it is not relevant but yeah, it totally stings. Since her youngest daughter was born, dad's been to prison once and jail twice, older brother went to prison and my aunt has neglected her medical care in favor of prayer, causing the child long term consequences. Looking at my well cared for, fed and protected sons who have a dad whose only run in with law enforcement has been a single speeding ticket, I just wonder why.

 

:grouphug:Yep. I get it. My younger sister didn't seek medical attention until 30 weeks, has a druggie baby daddy, and doesn't adequately care for her kid has a perfectly healthy baby. Yet I quit smoking months before ttc (with an awesome drug-free, with a hard-working dh) and I still lost 2 babies. I think you just have to get to a point where you know you did everything right, but nature took over. Not easy. My last loss was 6 years ago. I'll let you know when it gets easier.

[Delirium]

*huggles* After a particularly disappointing round of fertility treatments, I broke down crying and yelled at DH " If I had been a crack wh***, we would've had babies by now!" Yes it was crazy judgmental thing to say, but I felt that I was surrounded by people that never had to take fertility for granted and it was hard to not take it as a personal attack. I wish life was fair (but then who gets to decide what is really fair anyway)

 

Sending you lots of love, calm thoughts and sticky vibes.

[PollyOR]

:grouphug:

[NASDAQ]

I am extremely irritable whenever I want to be pregnant, and I don't even have loss problems.

 

When I gave birth to my first, they used to let people smoke right outside the hospital door. Women who were on IVs for labour would take their IV poles out there to smoke. :001_huh:

[dansamy]

And then we get to see those kids over the next 4-5 years with RSV, influenza, pneumonia, RAD, asthma, croup and more.

[besroma]

I understand and agree with you. :grouphug:

[Soror]

:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug::grouphug:

[NanceXToo]

:grouphug:

 

I'm with you, I HATE seeing pregnant women smoke. And I used to be a fairly heavy smoker, but I managed to quit when I found out I was pregnant with each of my two daughters. (in my son's case I quit for good finally before he was conceived). It becomes even harder when you're actively struggling with ttc and losses, as I know we both are!

 

I have my fingers crossed for both you and I that we conceive those little ones we want soon! I dreamed about a baby last night. I will be taking a pregnancy test Monday morning. After two losses in a row and a 39th birthday a few months ago, I just want it to happen already!

[WishboneDawn]

:grouphug:

 

It's hard to see that! I about blew a gasket when I saw a pregnant woman drinking. None of my business, but so, so hard to watch.

 

There was a thread on this about a year ago. There's no evidence occasional drinking causes harm to a fetus. That thread had links to relavent studies. I know this is often an emotional issue because of the very real effects alchohol can have on a baby but that woman having a drink may have made an informed choice.

[Lolly]

I'm worse than you. I get upset when I see someone smoking in public AT ALL. yes, even outside. Even on the beach. My kids and I do not want to breath your @#$%@. My eldest wants to start drinking so she can share her second hand products of alcohol with them when their second hand products drift her way. She could keep it in a bottle and throw it on them. It would have far less effect on them than theirs does on her. It makes her stop breathing to breath their @($##@ing smoke. Me, I think smoking in public should be banned. Indoors (which it is), near entrances and exits (it is but it isn't enforced), or even outside. The only place it should be allowed is inside your private residence.

[Mom-ninja.]

:grouphug: I was always super cranky while TTC.

 

 

When my second was a baby and I was nursing him, my grandmother looked at me and said, "It's good you don't smoke because it was hard for me to not smoke while my babies were still breastfeeding. Of course I smoked while I was pg because that doesn't hurt the baby, but after the baby is born I knew I couldn't smoke while they ate my milk."

 

I was amazed at what people (including doctors) thought was okay back in the day.

[kristi26]

:grouphug: I'm with you! And I'm gonna stop there, because I could go on and on with this subject!!!!

[Hilltop]

:grouphug::grouphug:

[*********]

I quit cold turkey the day I found out I was pregnant with Zee. Dh and I agreed he had to quit before Zee was born. He had his last cigarette the day Zee came home. :tongue_smilie:

 

We were both pack a day smokers. I'm so glad we quit.

 

I remember once at a work Christmas party when I was a newlywed, I had dh and I move away from a co-worker's very pregnant wife to smoke after eating. Then I glance over, and she's lighting up! I was shocked that she would do that in front of all her dh's co-workers. But I didn't say anything. It's hard.

 

:grouphug:

[Ravin]

And then we get to see those kids over the next 4-5 years with RSV, influenza, pneumonia, RAD, asthma, croup and more.

 

Oh, you meant Reactive Airway Disease. nevermind.

Edited August 18, 2012 by Ravin

[SKL]

My step-niece, a smoker who has had four babies out of wedlock (don't get me started), told me that her doctor said the bad effects of going cold turkey would be worse for the baby than her continued smoking.

 

I haven't ever TTC, but my family has wondered why some people seem to get such apparently undeserved luck. The step-niece mentioned above has been very lucky with her kids being bright and healthy for the most part, while her sister, who quit smoking upon becoming pregnant, breastfed etc., had a child with a lot of issues. We decided that maybe God gives the greater challenges to those who are up for the challenge.

[ondreeuh]

Okay, I feel the need to wave a correction flag here. Smoking while pregnant does not cause RAD. RAD is caused by a complete failure of attachment to other people in infancy, either because a child is institutionalized or severely abused/neglected. Even most lousy parents have babies who are attached to them--perhaps not in an "ideal" fashion, but a certain percentage of babies with "good" parents have less than "ideal" attachment, too.

 

Disorganized/absent attachment that can lead to RAD has nothing to do with smoking .

 

I assume the PP meant Reactive Airway Disease.

[katilac]

Sometimes we know someone is pregnant, but, in light of the "someone asked when my non-existent baby is due" thread, I thought I would point out that LOOKING pregnant does not always mean BEING pregnant. No, not even if they look hugely pregnant. Only if you see the baby's head crownng. :001_smile:

[dansamy]

I assume the PP meant Reactive Airway Disease.

:iagree: That. Sorry about the confusion. I kinda figured after I wrote it that someone else might not recognize what I meant. It is the "pre-asthma" terminology we use until we can diagnose a kiddo with asthma. It's what I like to call a "wastebasket" term.