Do you have a Last Will and Testament? Advanced Directives?

[Ginevra]

I still don't have them. Dh has mentioned Legal Zoom as an option, but I have my doubts. We are pretty complicated. And would that mean he would get his LW&T and then I would separately get a LW&T? Has anyone here gone through Legal Zoom and have any input on it.

 

We don't have Advanced Directives, either. :tongue_smilie:

[LibraryLover]

Yes.

Edited May 6, 2012 by LibraryLover

[kalanamak]

Yes. I paid for a solid Will and DPOA, and then typed up the exact document for my husband (quoting chapter and verse) with slightly different names.

 

While you are at it, read up on estate planning. I don't feel like leaving a mess for those left behind. So far my estate planning is:

DPOA who is fully informed on my assets/debts, account numbers, passwords, etc, and who to contact at my employer to figure out what my family's options are for pensions/healthcare buy-ins, etc.

 

A stash of cash to keep things being paid while the estate is settled.

 

Permission to deal with financial services (e.g. Vanguard, and many others, don't honor the DPOA (this shocked me). I have to give them special permission for my brother to be able to get at my account without going to court!) and safety deposit boxes.

 

Medical POA with instructions (not only a directive, but a person to make decisions because you can't never leave instructions to cover every possible situation.)

 

Guardians named for kiddo.

[Pippen]

We had ours both done by an attorney when we first had kids, and then updated guardianship as our family grew (that was included in the initial cost). We gave copies to the various adults involved so they could access POA for healthcare quickly if ever needed.

 

Since yours is a comlicated estate this probably won't help you but for others reading I will mentioned that my dad passed away last year and did his own using Quicken Willmaker and had it witnessed/notarized. He had a simple estate but because he was seperated from his wife at the time we went ahead and had it checked out by an attorney in the state he lived in and it checked out fine.

 

Various versions of Quicken Willmaker are on sale on Amazon right now for around $25. I just bought one for my 18 year old as well as my mom, who I am sorry to say avoids this stuff like crazy. :confused:

[Guest]

Yes. I paid for a solid Will and DPOA, and then typed up the exact document for my husband (quoting chapter and verse) with slightly different names.

 

While you are at it, read up on estate planning. I don't feel like leaving a mess for those left behind. So far my estate planning is:

DPOA who is fully informed on my assets/debts, account numbers, passwords, etc, and who to contact at my employer to figure out what my family's options are for pensions/healthcare buy-ins, etc.

 

A stash of cash to keep things being paid while the estate is settled.

 

Permission to deal with financial services (e.g. Vanguard, and many others, don't honor the DPOA (this shocked me). I have to give them special permission for my brother to be able to get at my account without going to court!) and safety deposit boxes.

 

Medical POA with instructions (not only a directive, but a person to make decisions because you can't never leave instructions to cover every possible situation.)

 

Guardians named for kiddo.

 

This is pretty much everything we need as well. A lot of our properties/companies and equipment are jointly owned with others and it is complex. I also did not know about Vanguard, et al.! Thanks for that!

 

How much can I expect to pay for this?

[PeterPan]

Unfortunately yes. I don't like the way it was done, and it was done a number of years ago, when we were at a different point in our lives. The lawyers had drawn something up, and I kept finding myself saying "Excuse me, but that WASN'T what I meant!" Hate that. It's definitely something I've nagged my dh to get changed or ripped up or SOMETHING. :(

[Runningmom80]

Yes, and it was a breeze. We did the living will, DPOA, advanced directives, etc all at the same time. We met with the attorney twice. Our situation may be different, we don't own much, and our accounts are pretty simplistic.

[kalanamak]

I also did not know about Vanguard, et al.! Thanks for that!

 

How much can I expect to pay for this?

 

I paid $900 bucks for something very long and water-tight. I don't 100% trust hubby's family ....

 

I learned about the financial institution thing from Personal Finance For Seniors by Eric Tyson (one of the Dummies books). The library might have it, and it has a list of everything you need as well as the BEST basic intro to estate planning (a complicated thing) in a chapter called "Estate Planning: not just lawyers and dead people". If you read that you'll have an idea of what you can expect and sound vaguely organized when you see the attorney. HTH

[Kari C in SC]

We got a will after our son passed away. I guess it just made it all very real to us. We paid $500 and I gotta say that was just for a pretty darn basic will that stated guardianship for our kids and that everything basically went to them. In hindsight, I wish I had waited a bit longer for my mind to clear. I may have asked for more specific terms, etc.

[SKL]

I had a meeting with a lawyer months ago, but never followed through. They want thousands of dollars. My friend used LegalZoom and recommended it, but she doesn't have kids. I do need to look into that.

 

The meeting with the lawyer was helpful in that I realized I have to make sure that when I die, someone can easily locate and access my assets. They gave me ideas to avoid having things go through the hassles and delays of probate.

 

The questions about the kids were harder. It's not that simple to decide who's going to have how much say over the kids' lives. Heck, I'm not even sure how I'm going to do things (money-wise) as they get older. Should it depend on what each child wants / needs, or should it be share and share alike from day one, or should they have to work for their keep like I did? The lawyers assured me that if I left any detail to chance, everyone was going to hate each other and waste the whole estate on lawyers. Assuming I even have anything to fight over when I die!

 

As Jane Eyre said, the solution is: "I must keep in good health and not die."

 

But seriously, I am going to look into LegalZoom as soon as I get a chance.

[RanchGirl]

We have one. For a simple will, it shouldn't cost thousands of dollars. Shop around! :)

[gardenmom5]

you want seperate. I wouldn't use legal zoom.

 

that said: we had a very good estate lawyer draw up a trust, which covers everything. It also includes everything in a normal will.

 

after due consideration of our needs, we interviewed a number of lawyers before choosing ours.

[AuntieM]

Yes. I paid for a solid Will and DPOA, and then typed up the exact document for my husband (quoting chapter and verse) with slightly different names.

 

While you are at it, read up on estate planning. I don't feel like leaving a mess for those left behind. So far my estate planning is:

DPOA who is fully informed on my assets/debts, account numbers, passwords, etc, and who to contact at my employer to figure out what my family's options are for pensions/healthcare buy-ins, etc.

 

A stash of cash to keep things being paid while the estate is settled.

 

Permission to deal with financial services (e.g. Vanguard, and many others, don't honor the DPOA (this shocked me). I have to give them special permission for my brother to be able to get at my account without going to court!) and safety deposit boxes.

 

Medical POA with instructions (not only a directive, but a person to make decisions because you can't never leave instructions to cover every possible situation.)

 

Guardians named for kiddo.

 

This is a great complete list and I think it's important to note that your DPOA for financial/estate purposes does not have to be the same person you name as Medical POA.

[gardenmom5]

It is *very* specific. I kept apologizing to our lawyer, but he said that he wished more folks were as explicit. ;) Sure. lol

.

 

 

I'll tell ya, he was serious. You'd be shocked at the problems that crop up over poorly written or vague wills. the acrimony that people will go to over what in the end, are middling sums.

 

after having my mother's redone into a trust format, I came to appreciate the holes in her previous will. her trust was explicit when we were done - and had the super nasty clause for how to deal with a trouble maker.

[Tammyla]

We used Legal Zoom last year; it was easy and they even gave us more than one chance to get them right. (Fil was in the hospital at the time, and we didn't get them right the first time around due to stress...Corrections were free; we'll be correcting again this summer when dd is 18.) Even complicated is pretty simple with LZ; they walk you through the steps.

 

After watching mil making decisions for fil; we knew we had to get ours done. The cost was low, and I feel better knowing we have them.

 

I still don't have them. Dh has mentioned Legal Zoom as an option, but I have my doubts. We are pretty complicated. And would that mean he would get his LW&T and then I would separately get a LW&T? Has anyone here gone through Legal Zoom and have any input on it.

 

We don't have Advanced Directives, either. :tongue_smilie:

[desertmum]

We bought a kit from a bookshop and did our best. I think we should have paid professional help to get the finer points done but we didn't have the money at the time.

 

However, I friend who studied law said that we have to see a proper solicitor in order to have a guardian appointment to take care of ds in case dh and I both die so we'll do that soon-ish.

 

We've left instructions of how and where we want (or don't want) to be buried right down to the music!

[Pamela H in Texas]

We don't have anything other than kids.

We do need to put plans for them down as soon as they are legally ours.

I wish there was a perfect situation. Maybe I just won't die :)

[kalanamak]

This is a great complete list and I think it's important to note that your DPOA for financial/estate purposes does not have to be the same person you name as Medical POA.

 

Yes, especially if the DPOA is to benefit from your will. I really don't want extreme measures if I am unlikely to return to activities of daily living (dressing, feeding self, etc), and would just like to go when it is my time. However, my DPOA would control all my assets, and while I trust him 150%, I wouldn't want some hospital to get stiff about it. Unfortunately, they have seen conniving relatives.

[elise1mds]

We paid a little over a thousand last month to get EVERYTHING done. We had a trust set up, made out advanced care directives, made wills, etc., etc., etc. It was expensive, but at least now I know that everything will be done the way I want it to be done and there's no chance that someone other than who I want will be able to get the kids if DH and I both die. The trust is in both our names, but everything else is done separately. I thought about using LegalZoom, but I'm very glad we went through a local attorney. He was wonderful and took the time to answer all the questions we had and made sure that we had exactly what we needed and wanted, and he even set up all the appointments for signing everything and went down to the courthouse and made sure it was all filed correctly.

[Guest]

Thank you guys. That is very helpful. I really need to get this done. It's been bugging me for ages. I will look up the book, Kalah. It would make me feel much better going in with some concept of what I'm doing.

[A.Balaban]

This is something that I haven't taken care of yet.

 

The reason is this- if DH and I both die, my DS is not his son so I can't really assign a guardian for him. For DS, his BD has visitation only, and shared legal custody. He has said if I die that he would "look at options" to consider where DS would live (and has agreed that for "right now" it is best if DS does not live with him...long story). But I can't wait *until I'm dead* to know that my DS is going to be well taken care of! If my DH (in this hypothetical scenario) would be still alive, I'd like for DS to continue to live with him since he's been his father for his entire life! And if both DH and I die, I'd really like (if at all possible, and depending on their ages...) for my DS and DD to stay together. How terrible would that be to split them up?

 

But then there's the lack of acceptable guardians. My children basically have no one that we could trust enough to take care of our children in the way that we would want them to be raised and taken care of.

 

It's an impossible situation. As my DH says: "I'm going to live forever"

[BinahYeteirah]

I frequently think about having wills, etc. made for us. Unfortunately, I always get stuck because there simply isn't anyone who could be guardians for our children.

[KatieJ]

We went to a lawyer (interviewed several and compared prices against what they were offering) and we set up a trust. My understanding is that if you only have a will, it will need to go thru probate still. By forming a trust you can avoid that.

It was fairly simple, was about $700.00 and we are glad that is done!

[butterflymommy]

For the LW&T we used some legal software that walks you through it, had it notarized at a bank, and sent it to my sister who has it in a safe. She and BIL are the appointed guardians for our children. No advanced directive but i would like to have one.

 

However, a couple physicians I know say the AD often aren't followed precisely by hospital staff and can be disregarded. Is this true?

[StephanieZ]

Yes, you need all those things. A family atty will likely cost about $500-$1000 to get it all done. I personally would not trust a DIY process, espcecially since you say things are a bit complicated. Then again, DIY is presumably better than NOTHING. So, if you can't spring for an atty right now, then maybe DIY is good for now.

 

Even if things are simple, each spouse needs their own will, etc.

 

You will minimize your atty expenses if you go through the decision processes before hand and write it all up.

 

I.e.,

 

If you both die:

 

Who gets the kids?

Who is the Executor -- person who is responsible for making sure the will gets carried out.

Who will handle the kids' money? (Same person as has the kids or different?)

At what age do you want your kids to get full access to their money? Any conditions (college, marriage, etc) that change this age? (I.e., full access upon age of 21 and graduation from a 4 year college that meets the approval of their guardian, or age 25, whichever comes first.)

Who gets your stuff if anyone other than your kids are to get anything?

 

Are there business(es) or other commercial real estate/investments that require selling upon someone's death (rentals, professional businesses, etc.)? If so, how will that be handled? Designate instructions on what brokers/etc might be able to help, and what to do with the business interests in the meanwhile.

 

Make a list of substantial assets (stock accounts, insurance policies, real estate, businesses, etc) and debts (depressing, lol), and keep it with the will. Try to update it annually. Keep a list of contact info for your CPA, attorney, etc in there. Make sure people that would matter know where your will is!

 

Are there any life insurance policies? If so, pull them out and know exactly what is written as beneficiaries on each policy. This is very important, and the atty may instruct you to change things. Have copies of the policies/beneficiary designations in hand.

 

In most marriages, the spouse inherits everything if just one spouse dies, so that part of the wills are easy. If your situation is different, then make lists of who gets what if just one of you dies. (Separate lists for each of you.)

 

"Family Wipe Out Clause" -- depressing. Who gets everything if you, dh, and kids are all killed at once?

 

Be sure to think ahead a bit in case you don't update the will very often. It's often 10-20 years before updating it. So, you might have clauses that say that if a child of yours is deceased, then THEIR children split that child's share. And, the lawyers always include clauses that split things among any additional kids born to you (or whoever is named, etc) after the will is written but before you die.

 

Definitely get it done. Everyone with kids or substantial assets really needs a will!

 

ETA: Sorry, I didn't answer your question! Yes, we have all those things! It's been more than 5 years since we updated them, though, and we should review them. I am not good about keeping the lists, etc. But, the wills, directives, POAs, etc are all in place and valid and cover our major issues (kids, businesses, real estate, etc.) We did our first when our oldest was born and have updated about every 5 years since then.

[Pippen]

We went to a lawyer (interviewed several and compared prices against what they were offering) and we set up a trust. My understanding is that if you only have a will, it will need to go thru probate still.

 

That depends on the laws of the state. In Colorado a small estate doesn't have to go through probate. There small estates are defined as an estate under $50,000 with no real estate owned. The executor can distribute the estate with the proper state forms filled out and notarized, and that's the end of it.

[momofkhm]

Simple will - I get everything if dh dies. He gets it all if I die. Then if we both die it goes to the kids equally. We specified guardians and back up guardians. We specified someone to watch over the money (which won't be much).

 

Then we have Medical POA and durable POA on each other as well. I think it includes a DNR in certain cases, but my mind is fuzzy on that part.

 

We started all this when I was a month from delivering oldest. She turns 18 this year. (Where did the time go?!) I still remember the lawyer asking my due date to make sure mine was done in time. Anyway, a couple years ago we changed guardians to someone who lives here in town and the kids see all the time. The previous guardians are now the back-ups.

 

With dd turning 18, we'll ask if she wants to be guardian for the other 2. I'm expecting her to say no at least until she finishes college and is making it on her own. She's 6 years older than the youngest.

[Tammyla]

We've used Legal Zoom here; dd turns 18 this summer and we will be updating our LW&T and adding a Trust.

 

 

 

I still don't have them. Dh has mentioned Legal Zoom as an option, but I have my doubts. We are pretty complicated. And would that mean he would get his LW&T and then I would separately get a LW&T? Has anyone here gone through Legal Zoom and have any input on it.

 

We don't have Advanced Directives, either. :tongue_smilie:

[Education Explorers]

We paid a little over a thousand last month to get EVERYTHING done. We had a trust set up, made out advanced care directives, made wills, etc., etc., etc. It was expensive, but at least now I know that everything will be done the way I want it to be done and there's no chance that someone other than who I want will be able to get the kids if DH and I both die. The trust is in both our names, but everything else is done separately. I thought about using LegalZoom, but I'm very glad we went through a local attorney. He was wonderful and took the time to answer all the questions we had and made sure that we had exactly what we needed and wanted, and he even set up all the appointments for signing everything and went down to the courthouse and made sure it was all filed correctly.

 

AMEN!

 

DISCLAIMER: I am an attorney and so is my husband. That being said, I find that the need for things being done properly is crucial for any and every family. Estate planning, life insurance, health insurance, vaccinations these are all things that become critically important if things go wrong. Anyone can be hit by the proverbial bus at any moment. Your children's welfare is far too important to leave to the hands of the government, a bored judge or an overworked social worker. (Uhh, the thought gives me the willies.)

 

Proper estate planning is worth every penny when things go wrong. My friend and his wife were killed in a car accident when they were driving to pick-up a new dog for their sweet children. The tragedy was further complicated and made even more horrific when the maternal grandmother decided that she just wanted custody of the little girl. She was looking to replace her daughter. She didn't care about her grandson or the harm that would result in separating the children after they had just lost their parents. She was not the named guardian for either grandchild (go figure! Clearly the parents knew what they were doing when they created their wills/trusts etc.) There was a protracted legal battle, but the paternal grandparents who were the legally named guardians won. Things would have been much uglier had my friend and his wife not had their wishes clearly and legally delineated.

 

Grief, crisis and/or money can make people do ugly things.

 

I frequently think about having wills, etc. made for us. Unfortunately, I always get stuck because there simply isn't anyone who could be guardians for our children.

 

Anyone you choose will be better than letting the state choose. While it is unpleasant to think of these things, I implore all of you to make sure that you have all estate planning (wills/trusts/power of attorney/living wills etc) in place ASAP. It is so very important to invest in your family's security.

Edited May 7, 2012 by Education Explorers

[KidsHappen]

We have a simple will in which everything is left to my brother including guardianship of my minor children. I trust him completely to provide and take care of them as well as to do right by my older children. I do not have a living will, ADs or a DNR. I have made my wishes very well known but I also know that my family may have a very hard time carrying through with them so that is not on paper yet. My hubby and I have agreed that he can try CPR if necessary but if he is not capable of reviving me the he is not to let anyone else try. I know I need to get that in writing but it is such a touchy subject for him. Is there a special lawyer that you would see for strictly the medical aspect of things?