WarriorMama Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 ...and it still looks like my house was overrun by a horde of barbarians. If somebody stopped by right now, they'd think 'homeschooling' is code for 'let children run feral'. We did A LOT of schoolwork today. And I did laundry. And I made chicken soup from scratch. But my 11-month-old has launched herself into full-fledged destructive toddlerhood (just as I was writing this she tried to CLIMB THE ABACUS LIKE A LADDER) and my 3yo has yet to outgrow it. :glare: All the cushions are off the couches. The kitchen garbage is overflowing. There is marker on the chair, the hardwood floor, and the baby, because my 7yo and 3yo keep dropping them and the baby keeps finding them, and she's known how to uncap markers since she was six months or so. :001_huh: My 3yo is walking around without a shirt because he spilled soup on himself at dinner and claims it's too dark and scary to go upstairs and get a new one. I haven't gotten around to doing it because I was vacuuming the mountain of rice off the dining room floor. When I went to use the wand attachment to get into a corner, three tinker toys, a piece of Lego and about a half dozen rubber bands fell out. :001_huh: During 'quiet time', the same 3yo knocked about a hundred DVD's off a shelf, pulled down the curtains and curtain rod (he was playing some sort of game that involved 'hiding' in the curtains :confused: ), and got stuck halfway over the baby gate when he tried to escape the room. There is blood splatter in numerous places where my 7yo dripped after slicing her finger open using scissors (SAFETY SCISSORS, no less) to try and poke a hole in something (violating my very clear Appropriate Use of Scissors decree). The baby has emptied every reachable bookshelf in the school room. There is urine all over my bathroom, because my 3yo keeps trying to pee from the top of a 2 and a half foot stool. Apparently it's much more fun to pee from on high (my husband and brother both confirmed this when asked :lol: ). On Saturday we had people over and two of the kids were standing on one of our wall-mounted baby gates while it was open (why?!?!) and pulled it out of the wall. So I can't close off the school room anymore. Which I guess doesn't really matter since in the last month my 3yo has mastered opening those gates (as well as the buckles on his booster seat and stroller, the drawer locks in the kitchen, and those doorknob cover things that are supposedly childproof but only slow down the adults). Still, it would be nice to at least be ABLE to close it. :tongue_smilie: My kitchen sink is mysteriously clogged. They broke into my office supply drawer and there are gold star stickers and post-its on EVERYTHING. And did I mention that my BABY IS COVERED IN MARKER?? I've made zero progress in cleaning any of this up, because as soon as I put the baby down she DESTROYS SOMETHING or CLIMBS SOMETHING. And yes, I've sat here and let them continue to destroy everything so I could type this up. Please feel free to share some funny toddler destruction stories (and if possible, associated 'they turned out to be sane humans' reassurance). I could use a laugh. It's been a heck of a day, we are out of chocolate, and my husband isn't due home for another half hour. ;) Happy Monday everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted January 16, 2012 Share Posted January 16, 2012 You know, sometimes I want to see photos of these so-called disaster zones. I think women are way to hard on themselves!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorMama Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 You know, sometimes I want to see photos of these so-called disaster zones. I think women are way to hard on themselves!!! :grouphug: Oh, it's pretty bad! :lol: Good thing I (mostly) think toddler craziness is pretty cute! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MtnTeaching Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Absolutely precious!!:lol::lol: I would call hubby and tell him to stop on the way home for something chocolate and gooey and a bottle of white wine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gentlemommy Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 (edited) Oh yes. I can relate. I have 6, 3, and 1 year old monkey climber children. Seriously. One day, I DID take pictures of my day because I didn't think my dh believed me... The day started at 7:30, when I got up, nursed, changed a diaper, and helped the other two up. I send them to make their beds and get dressed. They inform me they can't, they are STAAAAAAAAAARVING, and would i please make them some food first. As I was making breakfast, dd(1) took every file out of the file cabinet and threw them all over our living room. I found her, quickly threw the files in a messy pile and shoved them back in the drawer. Breakfast burned. Dd(6) and dd(3) decided to be helpful and make their own breakfast of scrambled eggs. Um. Yeah. You can imagine how that worked out. I try very hard to be a Hallmark mother, patient and sweet, laughing at the all of the dropped eggs, and butter smeared on the counters....while on the inside I was cursing myself for ever having encouraged them to be independent. I shoo them over to the table, give dd(6) the tub of yogurt, and instruct her to give it to the baby. I go into the kitchen to try to clean up. Big girls eventually bring me their plate. I ask dd(6) how dd(1) is eating, she says great! She is still working in it. It is strangely quiet, so I go see how dd(6) is doing feeding dd(1). Surprisingly, dd(1) is all alone in her highchair, WITH the huge tub of yogurt. Dd(6) had literally given it to her, and she was dipping her fist in there and sucking the yogurt off of it. Yogurt was EVERYWHERE. Oooooook. Get dd cleaned up, set her down, work on the highchair, which is covered in yogurt. I *thought* big dd's were getting their beds made and their day clothes on....not so. They had gone out the front door and were playing in the yard. I call them in, and instruct them never to go out the front door without telling me, for the 4843922283755759th time. I go inside to find the baby has pulled every sippy cup, lid, and tupperware out of the drawer. Sit on the floor to put them away, since the kitchen still needed to be mopped from the eggs. When I finish, I go looking for the big girls. They've been applying make up and nail polish. Yippy. Set them up at the table with a worksheet for school, and proceed to clean the bathroom. I take the baby with me so she won't get into any trouble. I clear the counters, give her a toothbrush to play with, and start scrubbing glitter goopy lip gloss off the mirrors, counters, and cabinets. I hear water. Noooooo! The baby has not only dipped the toothbrush into the toilet, but has it in her mouth before I can get to her. Eww. I take it away, much crying ensues. I try to wash her mouth out as best as I can and pray her immune system is so super strong that this isn't even a blip on the radar. I kick her out of the bathroom so I can finish. When I go looking for her, not two minutes later, I find her in front of the dryer, pulling the clean laundry out, and on the pile of dirty laundry. I now have no idea which is which. Great. Fine. Whatever, I'll just wash it all again in my free time. I throw in another load (of clean, just dried laundry) and get it going. Meanwhile, I hear the older two fighting in the dining room. I go to see what's up, and turns out they both want to use the same pencil. Lest you think we have a shortage of pencils, let me assure you, we don't. There is a BUCKET of pencils. With about 100 in it. And since I bought them in packs of ten, there are TEN with the same pattern as the offending pencil. But Noooooo, they want to use THAT rainbow sparkle pencil, not the one that looks JUSTLIKE it. I manage to convince them to use a different pencil (by taking the first one away) and assign them their next worksheet. I head to the kitchen to put the darned pencil in the junk drawer, to find my baby has located the HUGE package of napkins and has been happily pulling them out and shredding them on the floor. I sigh, pick that up, fish a wad of napkins out of her mouth, and nurse her right there on the kitchen floor. I am utterly exhausted. Defeated. Ready for nap time. I glance at the clock, proud of myself for making it so long without losing my cool, and totally convinced it is about time for a nap. It is 8:17 am. Seriously. This stuff can not be made up. It is absolutely 100% real life. Edited January 17, 2012 by Gentlemommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MtnTeaching Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Have you seen the Youtube of the toddlers that got into the flour bag? If you have not seen this one... it should make you feel better. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rieshy Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Oh, I enjoyed your descriptions! Made me laugh. I'll never forget the entire weekend my husband spent attaching special safety latches to everything with dd #2 in tow. He had searched and searched for something truely Houdini proof. These latches required all kinds of hardware and a power drill to install. When he was finished he called me into the kitchen to try and open a drawer. He had to show me how- it was hard to work and not intuitive. As soon as I shut the drawer the two year old solemnly, quietly, and deftly re-opened it. Then there was the one year old who decorated his entire room including his book collection during nap time with the only " finger paints" available. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
T'smom Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Oh, I enjoyed your descriptions! Made me laugh. I'll never forget the entire weekend my husband spent attaching special safety latches to everything with dd #2 in tow. He had searched and searched for something truely Houdini proof. These latches required all kinds of hardware and a power drill to install. When he was finished he called me into the kitchen to try and open a drawer. He had to show me how- it was hard to work and not intuitive. As soon as I shut the drawer the two year old solemnly, quietly, and deftly re-opened it. Then there was the one year old who decorated his entire room including his book collection during nap time with the only " finger paints" available. Um, the "fingerpaints" weren't from his diaper, were they? Yuck! OP- I completely understand. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissad2 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I understand completely...sounds exactly like my house! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lcelmer Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 When he was finished he called me into the kitchen to try and open a drawer. He had to show me how- it was hard to work and not intuitive. As soon as I shut the drawer the two year old solemnly, quietly, and deftly re-opened it. LOL! Thanks for sharing, that's too funny... must've been frustrating at the time though. :lol::lol: I found out my 1 year old could climb when he climbed onto the table when I was in the ladie room and chucked all but 2 hand-decorated-took-all-day Easter eggs out of big bro & sis's egg cartons. Mondays are hard. My home still is scary and my youngest is 3. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom25girls Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Oh, thank you for sharing :grouphug: I've been so sad about my oldest daughter leaving for college next year. My baby just turned 8 (in December) and it seems like the days are morphing into weeks and months at a relentless pace. I've been missing the baby days (even the craziness of having an 8yr old and 3 children under the age of three). Your post helped me to remember that while those days are priceless, there is something so much EASIER about having a family not quite so young (my girls are 8,9,10,12 and 18).:grouphug: Hoping that you had a glass of wine or at least some chocolate this evening. And...in will seem like in just a few blinks, these difficult, frustrating, wonderful, maddening days will have passed. :grouphug:I'm still a wee bit jealous but the reality is that every season brings unique joys and..craziness. Hoping that tomorrow is a more peaceful day for you!:grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8circles Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My life is so similar I thought I wrote this. Down to the broken baby-gate except mine is at the bottom of the stairs & my kids are about 9 months older than yours. Seriously. :grouphug: ...and it still looks like my house was overrun by a horde of barbarians. If somebody stopped by right now, they'd think 'homeschooling' is code for 'let children run feral'. We did A LOT of schoolwork today. And I did laundry. And I made chicken soup from scratch. But my 11-month-old has launched herself into full-fledged destructive toddlerhood (just as I was writing this she tried to CLIMB THE ABACUS LIKE A LADDER) and my 3yo has yet to outgrow it. :glare: All the cushions are off the couches. The kitchen garbage is overflowing. There is marker on the chair, the hardwood floor, and the baby, because my 7yo and 3yo keep dropping them and the baby keeps finding them, and she's known how to uncap markers since she was six months or so. :001_huh: My 3yo is walking around without a shirt because he spilled soup on himself at dinner and claims it's too dark and scary to go upstairs and get a new one. I haven't gotten around to doing it because I was vacuuming the mountain of rice off the dining room floor. When I went to use the wand attachment to get into a corner, three tinker toys, a piece of Lego and about a half dozen rubber bands fell out. :001_huh: During 'quiet time', the same 3yo knocked about a hundred DVD's off a shelf, pulled down the curtains and curtain rod (he was playing some sort of game that involved 'hiding' in the curtains :confused: ), and got stuck halfway over the baby gate when he tried to escape the room. There is blood splatter in numerous places where my 7yo dripped after slicing her finger open using scissors (SAFETY SCISSORS, no less) to try and poke a hole in something (violating my very clear Appropriate Use of Scissors decree). The baby has emptied every reachable bookshelf in the school room. There is urine all over my bathroom, because my 3yo keeps trying to pee from the top of a 2 and a half foot stool. Apparently it's much more fun to pee from on high (my husband and brother both confirmed this when asked :lol: ). On Saturday we had people over and two of the kids were standing on one of our wall-mounted baby gates while it was open (why?!?!) and pulled it out of the wall. So I can't close off the school room anymore. Which I guess doesn't really matter since in the last month my 3yo has mastered opening those gates (as well as the buckles on his booster seat and stroller, the drawer locks in the kitchen, and those doorknob cover things that are supposedly childproof but only slow down the adults). Still, it would be nice to at least be ABLE to close it. :tongue_smilie: My kitchen sink is mysteriously clogged. They broke into my office supply drawer and there are gold star stickers and post-its on EVERYTHING. And did I mention that my BABY IS COVERED IN MARKER?? I've made zero progress in cleaning any of this up, because as soon as I put the baby down she DESTROYS SOMETHING or CLIMBS SOMETHING. And yes, I've sat here and let them continue to destroy everything so I could type this up. Please feel free to share some funny toddler destruction stories (and if possible, associated 'they turned out to be sane humans' reassurance). I could use a laugh. It's been a heck of a day, we are out of chocolate, and my husband isn't due home for another half hour. ;) Happy Monday everyone! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie Smith Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I hate that feeling where you turn around and think, "Didn't I just clean XYZ?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My husband doesn't understand my need for chocolate but that is because he comes home late and I've usually managed to half clean up by then. Those days totally require chocolate. A huge block of chocolate for mama after the littles are in bed. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 I hate that feeling where you turn around and think, "Didn't I just clean XYZ?" :iagree: only I seem to have that feeling All. Day. Every. Day. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greenmama2 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 In case it helps, here is just one mess my youngest managed to make in literally about 20 seconds while I was in the same room with my back turned... http://http://greendraggon.blogspot.com/2010/07/if-youve-ever-doubted.html Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My husband doesn't understand my need for chocolate but that is because he comes home late and I've usually managed to half clean up by then. Those days totally require chocolate. A huge block of chocolate for mama after the littles are in bed. If you have a Trader Joe's nearby, you need to inform your dh that they sell 1 lb. bars of chocolate. (Ds highly recommends them. :lol:) And, remind him that sometimes the best defense is a good offense. ;):D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wapiti Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 So. We have something similar over here tonight, but not quite as bad (I've had those days, so I do know what you mean). The crucial question is, now that the dishwasher is running, do I have to actually do anything else or can I just go to bed now. Ugh. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :lol: I was just suffering from baby fever. I'm over it;). I'll share a story to make you feel better. Ds, aged 2 1/2, and I were home. Oldest dd was at school. I had somewhere to be, so I plopped ds down in front of The Backyardigans and hopped into the shower. I figured I could get a quick shower and be out before the show was over, preventing any boy child destruction. I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around me, and checked on ds. In the 5 minutes I was in the shower, ds had eaten all the blueberries, knocked over the trash, and broke a dozen eggs all over the floor. I started to clean up the eggs (still in a towel wrapped around me) when the mailman walked up. You could see into the kitchen from the mail slot. My towel had opened a bit. Yep, the mailman got a little show that day. I don't think I ever looked that mailman in the eye again. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacia Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My sister was that way! One time (when she was about 3 or 4), she got lost in a store for about 1 minute. (I think it was KMart.) We found her... on the row w/ the fish hooks. She had about 100 in her, pinning the sleeves of her coat to the front & sides of her coat; her legs (in stockings) were completely hooked together. My mom & I spent quite a long time removing all the fish hooks. She is also the kid who used permanent markers to draw eyelashes on her face (which extended all the way up her nearly-bald head), along w/ huge circles of 'lipstick' around her mouth. It took a few weeks for that to wear off. Then, there was the button up the nose when we were in a dressing room somewhere.... My poor mom. :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swellmomma Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 :lol::lol: BTDT many many many times. I clean my house twice a day (noon is pickup time during nap and then again before bed) and yet there is still days it looks like I have not cleaned in a month. The worst for me was when my oldest was 2.5 and dd was 18 months. It was never ending between the two of them. Ds was also very fond of smearing feces back in those days, so I am cooking dinner and realize it has gotten very quiet. Go find the kids in their room, ds is "fingerpainting" on himself, the wall, the floor etc. Ack! Get him into a bath and then realize dd is now alone in a room full of poop. Then I am in a panic, do I grab him out of the tub or run and grab her, no matter what there is a pile of poop involved. We were in a small apt so I figured I could run and grab her if I have him singing ABCs with me so I know he is not drowning in those 30 seconds. I do that, get back to the tub and he is gone. Still singing ABCs running nekkid down the hall dripping water everywhere. Crud. Put dd in front of the tv with a video grab ds and try to make sure he is totally clean and get him dressed again. *sniff sniff* what is that smell? It is not the poopy I still need to clean up in the bedroom, carp dinner is burning. Smoke alarm goes off, double carp. Remove pan from stove, Open windows and fan at alarm try to settle 2 screaming toddlers. Realize I still have a room of poopy to deal with. Crud. Gather supplies from storage closet next to bathroom and fill bucket with soapy water, walk into bedroom and see ds fingerpainting AGAIN. Seriously??!! Put him back in tub, this time decide to call dd to me, she comes in looking a bit green. And not in the figurative way. Look into hallway she has opened the box of lime green koolaid mix I was saving for playdough and has it all over her and the hallway floor. Finish washing ds off. Get him out, drain tub and refill and put dd in. Keep ds in bathroom with me with promises of yummy treats. Get bath dressed again and remember poopy room. Crud. Put both kids into "toy room" decide they will be safe if I close the door and scrub the poopy room like crazy talking to them through the door as I go. Empty bucket of yucky water and wash my hands. Kids are hungry and starting to really fuss about it. Remember dinner is burnt. Carp. Open toyroom door and see EVERY toy thye own dumped out on the floor and scattered everywhere. Still need to clean up the lime green koolaid from the hallway and deal with the burnt dinner. Order a pizza. Realize there is no way in you know where the pizza guy is going to see mess. Get to work on cleaning up koolaid. Decide the toys can wait, put dinner pan on to soak. Buzzer goes, pizza is here. I answer the door with a shirt that is damp from 3 baths and scrubbing walls/floors, hair a mess, green hands and a smear of poopy I didn't notice before on my hip. Kids standing behind me in their pj's looking angelic as ever and the pizza guy is looking at me like I am the crazy cat lady. Pay for pizza, feed kids. Collapse on couch with 1 on each side of me fast asleep. And realize I have to do this all again tomorrow. Of course my mom tells the story of the day I colored the walls with crayons. She got to work scrubbing it off with AJAX and turns to see me coming right back down the length of the wall drawing again. At least I was nice enough to use crayon. My oldest used perm. markers. I must have repainted his room and the hallway in our house(after the apt) every other month to cover up the marker on the walls before I discovered sol-u-mel. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halftime Hope Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 My three were not as "intense" as what some of you are describing, so I acknowlege that up front, but I'll tell you a story of one of my friend's kids. Her family was moving away, and she was packing up the kitchen, taping each box closed as it was filled. Among the things yet unpacked were the bottle of oil and the huge cannister of warehouse-store cinnamon, up on a cabinet shelf next to the oven vent fan. After safely navigating climbing up and back down to get the oil and cinnamon, the toddler thought those would be fun to experiment with them, and my friend found him gleefully slip-and-sliding in the kiichen with the bottle of oil emptied all over the floor and the cinnamon can alternately puffing cinnamon when he squeezed it or dumping cinnamon when he shook it. Now granted, it wasn't as bad as the finger painting some of you have described, but it was a terrible mess to clean up. I helped her pack the day after the incident, but the best thing I did for her was to thoroughly clean her house after they were gone. : ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TXMomof4 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Here's my sweet little boy - he was almost 8 months old. My girls didn't even move off their sweet little rears until they were 9 or 10 months old, so I wasn't nearly as vigilant with this little man as I should have been. Kitchen reorganization occurred shortly after this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorMama Posted January 17, 2012 Author Share Posted January 17, 2012 :lol: Thank you all so so much! Your stories had me laughing my butt off. It seems like 90 percent of the moms I know in real life have very...tame...children comparatively. I start thinking I'm THE ONLY ONE who lives like this. :tongue_smilie: Anyhow, I've decided we're going out today no matter what the weather is like. The barbarian hordes can destroy the park or th library instead! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klmama Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 LOL! Oh, my, I remember those days! WarriorMama, yes, they do calm down and become delightful human beings (not that they aren't already, but... you know). My oldest was a terror at three, but is now extremely calm and responsible. There is hope! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leav97 Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 DS really likes to color. Himself, walls, whatever is handy. We've been working on redirecting to paper for well forever. So when he walked up to me holding a pen and asking for paper, I was elated. He drew for a while and then wanted to show Dad his drawing. I sent him down stairs to get Dad. It got really quiet. I realized I didn't hear Dad and DS talking. DS had stopped halfway down the stairs and stripped naked. He was covered in pen from head to toe. His feet were completely black. I handed him over to Dad and went back to helping DD with school work. That's when I found out the pen was really a waterproof permanent pen. DH had to wash him off with nail polish remover and then give him a bath to get rid of the smell. This all happened when both DH and I were home. The things he does when 1 parent is watching are becoming legends in our house. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sun Posted January 17, 2012 Share Posted January 17, 2012 Oh my! I'm loving this thread! :lol: I'm also exhausted just reading some of these stories. They're making me both thankful that we're in a calmer phase of life right now and nostalgic for the crazy days of toddlerhood. Keep 'em coming! :lurk5: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WarriorMama Posted January 18, 2012 Author Share Posted January 18, 2012 LOL! Oh, my, I remember those days! WarriorMama, yes, they do calm down and become delightful human beings (not that they aren't already, but... you know). My oldest was a terror at three, but is now extremely calm and responsible. There is hope! I'm going to hold you to that! ;) Oh my! I'm loving this thread! :lol: I'm also exhausted just reading some of these stories. They're making me both thankful that we're in a calmer phase of life right now and nostalgic for the crazy days of toddlerhood. Keep 'em coming! :lurk5: If you're feeling really nostalgic, I have a Destructive Duo (11 months and a 3yo) I can loan you, absolutely free of charge! :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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