urbanfamily Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) My nice friend who is very curious about homeschooling...but she struggles to see it as beyond relentlessly hard work being stuck with young children 24/7, asked me this: ( Of people who did homeschooling/homeschooled kids - what did they most enjoy about their experience? :bigear: Esp those who do it out of choice. I know it's such a newbie question on this forum, hope you forgive....:) I've not even started formal HE journey yet...(my eldest is only 2y9mo) Edited January 11, 2012 by urbanfamily Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Down_the_Rabbit_Hole Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 My nice friend who is very curious about homeschooling...but she struggles to see it as beyond relentlessly hard work being stuck with young children 24/7, asked me this: ( Of people who did homeschooling/homeschooled kids - what did they most enjoy about their experience? :bigear: Esp those who do it out of choice. I know it's such a newbie question on this forum, hope you forgive....:) I've not even started formal HE journey yet...(my eldest is only 2y9mo) Being with my children. The relationship I have with my children is beyond anything I expected. It is hard when all you have is littles in the house. But as they grow, the parenting becomes less of a 24/7 thing. You now have a friend to enjoy hiking in the woods, joke partner, someone to bounce ideas off of, helper, and (in the case of my youngest son) someone that keeps you on your toes because he jumps out of ambush shooting nerf darts or forces an impromptu sword match. The home schooling is just part of it. It is the bond that forms through the years that is beyond words, one that makes the hard days worth every second. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
snickelfritz Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 My oldest is now in private school, for third grade. She homeschooled, by our choice, through last year. My youngest, kindergarten, is still at home--by choice. She will likely start private school next year. Anyway, I most enjoyed unstructured time with my kids. Sleeping in. Staying up late. Spending all day at the park when we had an unseasonably warm winter day. Traveling as a family whenever opportunity struck. Reading with them. Going to the library 3 times a week. Making the most of museum memberships. Once they are in school, much of your free time is no longer free. The hardest thing was all the unstructured time. :). I did really well when reading, writing, math, and life were enough. As we needed to add in spelling, grammar, history, etc... I had a hard time transitioning. So we decided it was a good point to put older dd in school. She has done beautifully. Our emphasis on reading/writing/math meant that she transitioned with few hiccups. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanfamily Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 Being with my children.The relationship I have with my children is beyond anything I expected. It is hard when all you have is littles in the house. But as they grow, the parenting becomes less of a 24/7 thing. You now have a friend to enjoy hiking in the woods, joke partner, someone to bounce ideas off of, helper, and (in the case of my youngest son) someone that keeps you on your toes because he jumps out of ambush shooting nerf darts or forces an impromptu sword match. The home schooling is just part of it. It is the bond that forms through the years that is beyond words, one that makes the hard days worth every second. Thank you - yes I think her perception is to do with being with very very active spirited 4 year old. Going out doing things with my children are exactly what I'm looking forward to. I do hope that parenting doesn't have to be this intense corrective thing with 5+ year olds... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Of people who did homeschooling/homeschooled kids - what did they most enjoy about their experience? The lack of constraints. We could do whatever, whenever, and have the time to make our dreams happen. We've handled alligators, been inside volcanoes, my son has done a commercial, visited several countries, created ovens and seismographs and elaborate experiments. We've taken school into trees and down to the ocean, up to mountains and into museums. We've been 20 feet from the President and gotten to hear him speak. We've had an amazing life in a few short years. Yes, it's work. But so is having a family. The amount of work isn't different, but the type of work is. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 The thing we enjoy most is being on our own schedule. Our home environment is much more relaxed without being on the school district's schedule. My 10 yro can sleep until 8 or 9. We school year-round, so if there's a day we want to go to the beach or play outside, taking the day off is not a big deal. When my kids went to public school, there was about an hour in the morning (from 6-7 am) where everybody was fighting, the kids whined about not wanting to go to school, I couldn't find all the junk that goes into their backpacks...:glare: The scenario repeated from 3:30pm - 4:30 pm when they got off the school buses....more fighting, permission slips, homework, gotta go to Hobby Lobby and waste $10 on a package of styrofoam horses... I guess I rambled...you get the idea! :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanfamily Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 Jeez, you guys are so good at unstructured thing without going into procrastinating funk...)) <- that's probably my main worry Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
.... Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Jeez, you guys are so good at unstructured thing without going into procrastinating funk...)) <- that's probably my main worry Every Sunday evening, I sit down with our schoolbooks and my planner and write out our school plans for the week. Being organized really helps. Also, if the kids know what the expectations are for school, things will go smoothly (in theory :tongue_smilie:). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 My nice friend who is very curious about homeschooling...but she struggles to see it as beyond relentlessly hard work being stuck with young children 24/7, asked me this: ( Of people who did homeschooling/homeschooled kids - what did they most enjoy about their experience? :bigear: Esp those who do it out of choice. I know it's such a newbie question on this forum, hope you forgive....:) I've not even started formal HE journey yet...(my eldest is only 2y9mo) Honestly, that is a good question. Before I pulled my kids out ot homeschool them, all I read on homeschooling sites was how wonderful it was!! No one talked about being stuck with them ALL DAY.. so when one child is in a particularly nasty mood or going through puberty or whatever, you NEVER get a break!!!! All the sites have these beautifully behaved children with dads who help out. (HA!! But at least mine is supportive!) If you don't have that, then you have not asked the Lord enough for help or depended on him enough. I took care of lots of sick relatives when we started including my bipolar father living with us for 9 months! What did/do I enjoy? Tailoring the curriculum to fit each individual child. But see that is another stressor.. Have I failed oldest, brightest child by allowing him to zoom ahead but not having the social experiences? Am I ruining my middle child by fixing his math but ruining our relationship in the process?? The list goes on. I love the traveling. I love the learning together. But it is stressful and hard work. DO NOT SUGARCOAT THE TRUTH!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lolly Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) The best part of homeschooling: being with my kids most all of the time. The worst part of homeschooling: being with my kids most all of the time. My homeschooling journey is on the downhill side. I'll be done in 3 1/2 years, and I'm telling you that sounds very soon! At this point, I can say that the absolute most wonderful thing about homeschooling is getting to spend so much time with my children and watching/guiding them to become the wonderful adults that they are or are quickly becoming. The relationship we have would certainly not be the same if they had been in a school all day. The opportunities we have had would be tremendously different. I cannot imagine not having had this time with them. That said, in the heat of the days of long ago being with 4 little ones all day every day was draining at times. You truly have no down time. It is a 24-7 job that needs at least 26 hours in the day. Looking back, I wouldn't do it any differently. Edited January 11, 2012 by Lolly Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kareng Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 The thing we enjoy most is being on our own schedule. Our home environment is much more relaxed without being on the school district's schedule. My 10 yro can sleep until 8 or 9. We school year-round, so if there's a day we want to go to the beach or play outside, taking the day off is not a big deal. When my kids went to public school, there was about an hour in the morning (from 6-7 am) where everybody was fighting, the kids whined about not wanting to go to school, I couldn't find all the junk that goes into their backpacks...:glare: The scenario repeated from 3:30pm - 4:30 pm when they got off the school buses....more fighting, permission slips, homework, gotta go to Hobby Lobby and waste $10 on a package of styrofoam horses... Coming from having been blessed with just ONE child and having taught public school for a few years, I would echo what starrbuck12 said above. Before the kids "go to school" (any traditional institution), you are home schooling them 24/7. With keeping them home with you, you are just carrying on what you've always done. I LOVE that we are a family; That we know each other through and through; that we get to be together when we are awake and full of energy, not just at the beginning of every day when everyone is grumpy and rushing around trying to make the bus or at the end of the day when everyone is tired and grumpy and irritable. We get to be flexible and allow OUR schooling/learning to fit into our REAL life, not a superimposed life that has to fit around the school's schedule. We also school all year around, which gives us the opportunity to enjoy what comes our way, and also to shift with the needs. And the cool thing about learning all the time, is that my dd has never had a sense of "Hey Mom, we're not in school now, so we can't do that!" OR, "You're not my teacher!". Anytime is a good time to learn or study something AND I have always been her teacher. Lastly, I LOVE that I have a relationship with my dd that I never had with my mother because I never spent any time with my mother (other than when I was rushing around in the AM or when I was grumpy in the PM) whereas I have spent so much time with my daughter that I cherish her all the more. She is one really really awesome girl! And my dd doesn't have the peer thing going on, like most children, where peers are their everything -- their source of truth, their source of fashion, their sense of who they are. Yes, it is very hard sometimes to do this -- to be the Mom, the homemaker and the teacher. And lines can get very very blurred. But I wouldn't trade this for anything. And I've been doing it from the beginning and my dd is 14 (and has dyslexia and has had a hard time with learning). But I LOVE that she can learn at her own pace in her own way without anyone making fun of her or allowing her to feel inferior because she's different. Home schooling is such a blessing and I thank God that He has allowed me to play this part in my dd's life. It has ALL been worth it! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lily_Grace Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 This is a great article about the pros and cons: The Bad News About Homeschooling. :D It's one of my favorites. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
G5052 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 When mine were little, the only real break I got was a part-time job. We don't have relatives near by and DH worked horrible hours except for the one night a week when I went to work. I survived though. Then they got older and DH is home more. I also work more. And I still wouldn't change anything. Every family has to make their own choices, but I'm glad that I'm not missing the teen years. Following the project to the end has been very fulfilling despite the bumps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Harriet Vane Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Being with my children each day is a joy and a treasure and often so fun I feel guilty about it. I enjoy the ongoing conversations, the friendship, watching them process the big questions. I enjoy reading aloud together--both the snuggles as well as the expressions on their faces as the story grips them. It's also a real kick when they learn something--it's soooo rewarding when they master the material. For example, I was scared about teaching my kids to read, scared I would screw up such an important skill. It turned out to be easier than I thought. Once they were really, truly reading we all felt tall and strong and wonderful! It had been a daily discipline that was hard at times, but most often was snuggly as well, and was fun, too, as things clicked into place. It's true that it is work to do this, and that the discipline often feels dry. I would say that the enjoyment outweighs the work by far. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Being with my children.The relationship I have with my children is beyond anything I expected. It is hard when all you have is littles in the house. But as they grow, the parenting becomes less of a 24/7 thing. You now have a friend to enjoy hiking in the woods, joke partner, someone to bounce ideas off of, helper, and (in the case of my youngest son) someone that keeps you on your toes because he jumps out of ambush shooting nerf darts or forces an impromptu sword match. The home schooling is just part of it. It is the bond that forms through the years that is beyond words, one that makes the hard days worth every second. I LOVE this response. My 11 y/o daughter, who I pulled out of public school to start homeschooling when she was 8, has become like my best friend and she's (usually) genuinely fun to be with, hang out with, talk to, learn with, etc. My 6 y/o son on the other hand can be a real handful haha...but it's still a joy to get to watch him grow, change and learn and not have him spending the vast majority of his days and years away from me, with somebody else, while I miss out on most of that. That aside, I think that for me (and perhaps with your friend) spending all day every day home alone with kids could quickly have me going stir-crazy; we like to spend a good amount of time out and about out of the house. So I joined a homeschool meetup group (which I since became the organizer of) and it's a very active one, with lots of outings, field trips, tours, get togethers etc, and so one of the things I enjoy the most is being able to go on all sorts of fun outings and activities with my kids and my homeschool group. We like that sort of "get out there and do what we want to do when we want to do it" experience which is fun, educational and sociable all in one. And having the freedom to do so. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Of people who did homeschooling/homeschooled kids - what did they most enjoy about their experience? Watching my kids learn ... not just math and grammar but about who they are, what they want from life, and what this world is like. I have a dd in public high school, and we don't have time to have the discussions I have with my homeschooled kids. Remind your friend that her children won't be little for long. When mine were 3 and 4, 4 and 5, the idea of being with them all day every day was, indeed, daunting. But they grow up, and being home all day with 9 and 10 year olds is a far, far different experience. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenNC Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Thank you - yes I think her perception is to do with being with very very active spirited 4 year old. I totally sympathize! If people had suggested when my daughter was 3 that we would homeschool (much less at this point have done it up through 6th grade and may go through high school), I would have laughed maniacally in their faces. At that point, I was daydreaming of military boarding preschool!;) My daughter was in preschool 2 half days at 2, 3 half days at 3 and 4 half days at 4 to save my sanity (and, honestly, probably hers at that point). I will admit that I also about went nuts after I quit my job when my daughter was born. Babies are wonderful, but not conversationalists and I missed all the adult interaction horribly for a long time. We've had plenty of battles of will (what can I say, the pig-headed gene is dominant in my family, so she and I both have it). I say all this so that she can see that it's not just for those who are some sort of June Cleaver/Norman Rockwell kind of fantasy of someone who adores every minute with her perfectly behaved children.:D We began homeschooling alongside preschool because she wanted desperately to learn to read. We were moving the summer before kindergarten age and she was reading well ahead of age level, so, as she was not one to suffer boredom gracefully, I decided to try homeschooling kindergarten. After all, how badly could I mess that up;)? We haven't looked back. As an introvert with a very extroverted only child, finding a support group in which we fit well and that had a lot of regular activities was an absolute necessity. I have found great friendships, my daughter has grown up with several of the same kids since she was 4, and we have had opportunities I could not have predicted because we homeschool. We've always said we were doing this a year at a time. Now, I am looking at whether trying something different for high school will be the best option and I can't imagine turning our lives around 180 degrees to fit with an outside school schedule. We have loved the freedom to travel when the opportunity arose, to explore topics that interested us and the close relationship my daughter and I have. That doesn't mean there haven't been days when I've looked and clock, thought, "the public school down the road is still in session, I could make it there before they let out, just drop her off and let them deal with this.":) Overall, the older she gets, the easier it is in some ways as she becomes more independent, and the harder it gets in others, as she becomes more independent. I have to do more searching now to find ways to provide instruction now that I am not comfortable with being able to do (things like Spanish and art---which is her passion, for instance). We need more of a structured schedule to cover everything, but I'm finding she thrives on that. It's been a bed of roses, as long as you remember roses also have thorns and even the most gorgeous rose bed needs occasional weeding.;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 We're halfway through our second year, and the best parts so far have been: 1. Not worrying about what is happening with ds1 at school. (major problems) 2. Watching them get excited about learning something. 3. Learning new things along with them. 4. Having a less stressful schedule. 5. Getting to spend more enjoyable time with my kids, and not just "do your homework, eat dinner, take a bath, go to bed" time and trying to cram fun stuff in on the weekends. The downsides: 1. Not earning money. 2. Occasionally feeling burnt out. Planning ahead and making lesson plans helps me to stay on top of things. Dh is not helpful around the house, but he does make sure I get time to myself and I take advantage of that. I take a dance class out of the house once a week, and I go for an hour long walk with a friend once a week. I go on scrapbooking weekends a couple times a year, too. And whenever else I get a chance to get some time to myself, I find something to do with it. I only have 2 kids, and they are no longer toddlers, so that does help, too. I'm about to start babysitting an infant to ameliorate the not earning money problem, so we'll see if I change my tune! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
georgialee Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Gosh, what's not to love? Really knowing your children & being the one to raise them (instead of teachers/after-school workers, etc). Having a close, nurturing relationship that seems to come about from being with them for more than several hours a day. Being able to tailor your child's education to his or her needs. Another big one for me is my kids aren't doing schoolwork a million hours a day (7-8 hours at school, plus homework, plus tutoring or afterschooling). We're able to finish in a set amount of time and be DONE. They can go out and play, do crafts, use their imaginations... whatever. Just like kids SHOULD be doing. :) At this point my kids are younger (4 & 6) and I enjoy being with them all day. That may change as they head towards puberty, but at the moment I honestly don't have anything bad to say about my homeschooling experience. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanfamily Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 I totally sympathize! If people had suggested when my daughter was 3 that we would homeschool (much less at this point have done it up through 6th grade and may go through high school), I would have laughed maniacally in their faces. At that point, I was daydreaming of military boarding preschool!;) My daughter was in preschool 2 half days at 2, 3 half days at 3 and 4 half days at 4 to save my sanity (and, honestly, probably hers at that point). I will admit that I also about went nuts after I quit my job when my daughter was born. Babies are wonderful, but not conversationalists and I missed all the adult interaction horribly for a long time. We've had plenty of battles of will (what can I say, the pig-headed gene is dominant in my family, so she and I both have it). I say all this so that she can see that it's not just for those who are some sort of June Cleaver/Norman Rockwell kind of fantasy of someone who adores every minute with her perfectly behaved children.:D We began homeschooling alongside preschool because she wanted desperately to learn to read. We were moving the summer before kindergarten age and she was reading well ahead of age level, so, as she was not one to suffer boredom gracefully, I decided to try homeschooling kindergarten. After all, how badly could I mess that up;)? We haven't looked back. As an introvert with a very extroverted only child, finding a support group in which we fit well and that had a lot of regular activities was an absolute necessity. I have found great friendships, my daughter has grown up with several of the same kids since she was 4, and we have had opportunities I could not have predicted because we homeschool. We've always said we were doing this a year at a time. Now, I am looking at whether trying something different for high school will be the best option and I can't imagine turning our lives around 180 degrees to fit with an outside school schedule. We have loved the freedom to travel when the opportunity arose, to explore topics that interested us and the close relationship my daughter and I have. That doesn't mean there haven't been days when I've looked and clock, thought, "the public school down the road is still in session, I could make it there before they let out, just drop her off and let them deal with this.":) Overall, the older she gets, the easier it is in some ways as she becomes more independent, and the harder it gets in others, as she becomes more independent. I have to do more searching now to find ways to provide instruction now that I am not comfortable with being able to do (things like Spanish and art---which is her passion, for instance). We need more of a structured schedule to cover everything, but I'm finding she thrives on that. It's been a bed of roses, as long as you remember roses also have thorns and even the most gorgeous rose bed needs occasional weeding.;) Karen, I think my friend will love you for this comment :) we have similar experience - going nuts after first (high needs) baby, using work as escape from toddler childcare... I've naturally grumpy personality - I'm no Sally Clarkson at all, so I'll be less able to sugar coat things but being close to my children and doing random things with him - looking forward most. We are out and about most of day anyway with my newborn baby and I love it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Hmmm. Idk... This is kind of like asking what moms love most about motherhood? On a good day, I love it all. The time to smell the roses. The smiles. Being there to see the lightbulb moments when something clicks in their brain or sparks their interests. The friendships developing with siblings instead of peer pressures. The ability to make out own schedules and follow our own interests. Waking up to a sibling new to reading, trying to read quietly in the early morning to their toddler sibling and knowing that's all because of your efforts. Watching a young man teen who is nearly a foot taller than me and who normally grumbles over being asked to do any chore, ask to take his 6 month old brother and rocks him to sleep while reading a history book. On a bad day, it all just sucks and seems crazy frustrating hard and unappreciated. The home that needs constant cleaning because we are here so much more than people who spend 8-10 hours out of the home 5 days a week. The sibling bickering that can't be avoided by them all being in separate classes/schools the majority of the day/week. The unrelenting self doubts that every mother has getting yet another thing to blame themselves for. This is life. It isn't all roses. There is a healthy mix of fertilizer.:D Whether someone else has the ability to see it that way though is very much individual based. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnM Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I love seeing them grown into exactly who they were meant to be. School often breeds conformity. My Aspie tells me all the time that he is glad he gets to be his own person instead of being criticized as school and needing to "be like everyone else." I love that they get to pursue their passions and spend time doing so. I love that their friendships are with other homeschoolers who are well mannered, kind, and show a general regard for all age groups and people. I love the bonding that happens in the family. I could go on. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajudy Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Being with my children has been the biggest blessing. And seeing the close relationships between my kids as they have grown. It is a joy to see them as teens and young adults interact as close friends. Had they gone off to school, they would have been separated all day from each other. Homeschooling has made our family closer. There have been a gazillion other benefits over the past 21 years, but those are the best. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
merry gardens Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 The best part of homeschooling: being with my kids most all of the time. The worst part of homeschooling: being with my kids most all of the time. .... :iagree: Everything that I enjoy about homeschooling also has a down-side. Having the time to "smell the roses" means sometimes you may also smell the fertilizer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tarreymere Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I have some perspective, having had kids in private school, public school, and homeschool. I brought my oldest child home in ninth grade. My oldest daughter, "R", was not in the popular crowd. She was a quiet, bookish girl who enjoyed participating in theater and in the youth group of our church. I brought her home because the academics were boring her and grading was a joke: turn in homework for a full thirty percent of the grade even if all of the answers were wrong (still a policy district-wide), thirty percent of grade for attendance, and the remainder for tests and quizzes that could always be retaken or the student could do a 'project' (meaning fill out a worksheet) to bring up the test score. R also endured some really abusive teasing from the popular crowd because she enjoyed wearing clothes she thought were 'interesting' that were not the prescribed fashions and she listened to music she liked and not the prescribed pop music, and she felt really pressured to have a boyfriend and to smoke cigarettes, and drink alcohol. Daughter "M" was in the popular crowd. In fact, she was a leader. She enjoyed the risky behaviors that seemed to go along with this. She had boys sneaking into her bedroom in eighth grade, with alcohol. She shoplifted. She went out of the house wearing the 'popular kid uniform' and changed into really slutty clothes at school (no reaction from the school). She skipped school. She was having a great 'social experience'. Daughter "J" was not in the popular crowd but did enjoy having her sister in the popular crowd and hung out with her sister a lot. She wasn't teased and was an accepted fringe member of the popular kids. She was eager to please and went along with the crowd as best she could. She had early boyfriends and early sex, to be just like everyone else. She went to the pharm parties and smoked and drank alcohol. Daughter "A" is my oldest stepdaughter and older than my oldest daughter. She pretty much did as she pleased, ignored the popular kids without drawing fire and went to school mostly because it was expected. She also snuck out at night regularly to meet with her many boyfriends and would not return until dawn usually either high or drunk. None of the girls gained anything academically. Even today I tutor kids at an afterschool program and they tell me they don't see the point of bothering to make an effort to do their homework since 'it counts as long as I turn it in, it doesnt matter what I write". Even in math! Being at home at first was hard, but we worked with the girls to help figure out a course of study tailored to each one. M never did get with the program and ended up in the headlines and in jail. R flourished, taking EMT classes among other things and decided to join the Army where she served as a medic in Iraq. J's reading and math skills improved a LOT once she was reading material relevant to her and working on the math skills she would need to live independently. At this point J was pregnant. A dismissed us all and got a full time job. The older girls are all doing well these days except for M, who never outgrew her high school behaviors. All of them have had some kind of higher education although A is the only graduate so far. We began to homeschool our youngest two from the beginning. I was struck by how much less stress there was in our lives with the kids at home. Our relationships are better with the youngers and we feel closer to them. An earlier poster stated that homeschooling for her was hard because she felt she had no break from her kids when they were going through puberty, ect and were pretty nasty. I just have to say that an adolescent is no joy to be around, at home or not, but that they are much nastier when they are supported by their peers in their behaviors. And don't get me started about 'peer orientation' and the detrimental effect that had on our family. Overall, having been there, done that for just about every educational experience except boarding school, I would vote for homeschool as the best, least stressful, and most enjoyable way to raise kids who will most likely turn out to be decent adults. It isn't perfect, and it does have stressors that are unique to educating the kids at home, but it is a lot better than the rest of the alternatives we tried. On a lighter note, I DO still have days when I wonder about boarding schools........ Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Of people who did homeschooling/homeschooled kids - what did they most enjoy about their experience? Being with my children. Seriously, that has been the best thing about homeschooling. I never felt "stuck" home. I used to take my kids out for a special not-back-to-school breakfast or lunch on the 1st day of public school each year. One year we encountered a group of women who were there celebrating their children finally going back to school. I was absolutely floored. My heart hurt for them that they didn't know the same joy I had. Oh we may have had some rough times but I never got to the point where I hated having them with me all the time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Jeez, you guys are so good at unstructured thing without going into procrastinating funk...)) <- that's probably my main worry It was a learning process, and one that you could get practice on before such structure is even needed. For me it was trial and error and my kids ages and abilities had a lot to do with it. For example, I pulled my son out of public school Kindergarten. I got thrown in and tried to simulate a public school day. It was awful! But I learned to loosen up and I realized that a full public school day is absolute overkill. There is no reason a Kindergarten student should be in school the same number of hours as a senior in high school. We got our academics done in a short time and had the rest of the day to be unstructured. Besides, if you're the type to procrastinate, you'll do it whether or not your kids are home. When my kids were in school (ds in kindergarten and dd in a home Montessori program) I was definitely not a combination June Cleaver/Betty Crocker type of person. So having my children home with me did not make any discernible difference in my boring schedule. Having them home helped me out actually. I had meaning to my day. Delicious stuff! I totally miss those days!! My kids are all teens now. and I've homeschooled for 11 years now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TraciWA Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 The best part of homeschooling: being with my kids most all of the time. The worst part of homeschooling: being with my kids most all of the time. My homeschooling journey is on the downhill side. I'll be done in 3 1/2 years, and I'm telling you that sounds very soon! At this point, I can say that the absolute most wonderful thing about homeschooling is getting to spend so much time with my children and watching/guiding them to become the wonderful adults that they are or are quickly becoming. The relationship we have would certainly not be the same if they had been in a school all day. The opportunities we have had would be tremendously different. I cannot imagine not having had this time with them. That said, in the heat of the days of long ago being with 4 little ones all day every day was draining at times. You truly have no down time. It is a 24-7 job that needs at least 26 hours in the day. Looking back, I wouldn't do it any differently. :iagree: One of the things I also love to see is their relationships with each other. They are not shipped four different directions during the day and then have the evenings taken up with their activities and homework only to repeat the next day. They have time to spend together and really know each other. Not that they don't have sibling issues.:glare: But they do love to spend time together. (During the Christmas break my kids had one long sleepover in the boys room.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
laughing lioness Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 There is a lot to enjoy about the experience as well as some of the outcomes: One of the greatest outcomes, imho, is freedom. I love that my older kids still kiss me and hug me in public. How many kids kids in public school would be caught dead showing a sign of affection to thier parent in public? I love reading aloud to my kids and discussing books. I love learning alongside them. I love creating/giving/enabling them to do something amazing and see their world expand. I love that their faith in God is real, personal and theirs. They don't agree with us on many things regarding doctrine and form, but they have a vibrant, deep faith walk. I love that they love to learn and have areas that they spend time, energy and their own money doing and learning about. I love that they seek out jobs that are challenging, unique and fun. I love that they embrace their individuality without it being rebellious or nihilistic. Homeschooling has gaps, areas of weakness and isn't the panacea to all of life's problems. It requires work, patience, money, perserverence, tolerance, love, a willingness to let some things go, sacrifice and more. Anyone who thinks otherwise is selling something. Hopefully the benefits outweigh the costs. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 DO NOT SUGARCOAT THE TRUTH!!! hm.. I feel I must say something here. According to this sentence, my post may look like I'm lying. But honestly, I have never experienced your truth and I'm not sugar coating our experiences. Truth will look differently for each of us. I'm not saying we didn't have our bad days, but I can honestly say that those bad times were always something *I* was doing or not doing. My children were never at fault for any stumbling blocks in our homeschooling journey. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pretty in Pink Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I agree with soo many of the things already stated in this thread. I think that one of the things that I love most about homeschooling is the relationships that I share with my children and that they share with one another. They bicker a good bit, but they are also the best of friends. I love that my eldest ds talks to me about things that are on his adolescent mind, the sorts of things that I never talked to my mom about. I love seeing the young man that he is growing into and knowing that all of the years of hard work are paying off. I love looking towards the future with him. I love that he is confident is his interests and abilities and eager to follow his heart. He wants to be a paleontologist, so dh and I are making arrangements for him to participate in a fossil dig during the summer of 2013...he's going to be so surprised! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 hm.. I feel I must say something here. According to this sentence, my post may look like I'm lying. But honestly, I have never experienced your truth and I'm not sugar coating our experiences. Truth will look differently for each of us. I'm not saying we didn't have our bad days, but I can honestly say that those bad times were always something *I* was doing or not doing. My children were never at fault for any stumbling blocks in our homeschooling journey. Great. Just what I need more guilt. I am already stressing if I have done everything right... Sighh.. I guess I havn't... But would ps have been better? Sometimes I wonder.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Night Elf Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Great. Just what I need more guilt. I am already stressing if I have done everything right... Sighh.. I guess I havn't... But would ps have been better? Sometimes I wonder.... I'm sorry. I never intended to inflict or even imply guilt. I just wanted to share that experiences are personal and one should never make blanket statements that cover all people because you will find differences. My experiences were nothing like the stereotypical homeschool family. We did not sit around a school table focusing on academics for hours at a time. We did not cover all subjects in one day. We did not focus on foreign language, although we did give Latin a try and it was a joke. Seriously, it made us all laugh. We did not spend time snuggling on the couch. We did not hold hands and sing Kumbayah or anything like that. There are homeschoolers here would think our way of homeschooling was unstructured, chaotic, and even negligent at some points. When we experienced burnout, we stopped all academics and went into unschooling mode. My kids continued to learn and suffered very little from our lapses in structured academics. However, my ds15 went into high school with very little know-how in writing essays, but I never pushed him to write because he has Aspergers and it always seemed like more trouble than it was worth. I did feel bad when he was struggling with some of the high school courses because I wondered if I made a mistake in letting him skip learning that skill. I even posted here more than once asking for help. But you know what, he learned by doing just like he would have if I had made him do those types of assignments earlier. Although he still hates writing, his work is really good. He has learned well. My point was that I never felt so horrible that I wanted to send my kids to school. Maybe part of that is my parenting style. I'm a radical type parent which probably made radical unschooling seem natural. I rarely say no, we never disciplined/punished. Bedtimes and meal times are set by the individual. We have unlimited screen time. And probably more that others here feel are important parenting skills. And yet it's all worked for us. But I went into parenthood with strong feelings about how I wanted to treat my children so I had a good idea how to approach them. I wasn't trying to follow a book or anything. Does my way make me a perfect parent? Absolutely not. Perfection is overrated. It takes way too much work. I have bad times, just not associated with my children or with homeschooling. I have many days I wish I could run to the airport and take off for anywhere that is not here. But I can't run away from my issues. But that's another post. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Carol in Cal. Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) I loved seeing the learning myself instead of hearing about it from some teacher. I loved reading aloud or making up stories together for hours at times. I loved talking about books together. I hated the corrosive worry--will she ever learn to read? If she doesn't do well in pre-algebra, it's because I didn't prepare her properly... I loved the feeling of blessing when she had time to do to extraordinary extra-curriculars that were very enriching and unique. I loved it when she was offered 4 honors classes based on her HSPT scores when she started brick and mortar school for 9th grade. I loved doing crazy mommy days when we would turn a field trip into a fun unit study and spend the whole day or even several days on it. I hated arguing about how much math to do, for several years, and about how well to do in math. I loved it when we wrote journal entries back and forth to each other. She was pretty young, and so they were short but heartfelt. I loved it when she noticed that Athens in the Bible was the same as Athens in Story of the World. At 8 or so. For that matter, I loved how easy it was to incorporate singing hymns and reading the Bible into her education and into 'real life'. Edited January 11, 2012 by Carol in Cal. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
J-rap Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Being home with my kids 24/7. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2_girls_mommy Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 (edited) Gosh, what's not to love? Well, there is plenty not to love. Like others have said, there is the money issue. We are a one income family. And we are responsible for all of the financial aspects of educating our children. That is a big one right there. There is also the constant being with your children. There are days that I don't want to be around them and they don't want to be around me :) There are days they don't want to do what I need or want them to do. There are days I don't want to do what I need to do with them for school. But there is plenty of good to counteract the bad IME. My favorite times to answer the OP: reading aloud to my kids. It fosters so many interests and discussions and hobbies Learning new things with them and teaching them and discussing with them things for their first time, things that will affect their lives and that they will remember forever. Going on field trips and enjoying the real world. These are my treasured memories. I don't think that any of us will look back and love the fact that we sat at the table and did math or phonics together every morning. BUt those have to get done. Just like we won't look back and treasure brushing our teeth. But we will always remember the books and the reading and the exploring museums and the art projects we did. Edited January 11, 2012 by 2_girls_mommy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Two thoughts... No guilt trips intended, but if it is genuinely *relentlessly* hard to be with one's kids all day, then I do think someone is doing it wrong. Some kids are harder, some situations are harder, but if there's no relief from it and no silver lining, I would either want to stop and send the kids to school or would want to change something in how I parent. I think the younger the kids, the harder it is to be with them all day. Older kids have their own problems that can also be difficult, but little kids, while sweet and fun in some ways, can't converse or make particularly interesting observations very often. They need all the time and they take so much of us as parents. I loved my kids and spending time with them when they were preschool age and younger, but it was really harder and I really needed breaks. They do for themselves more now and they're more fun to talk to as well. I agree with a lot of the sentiments above. I like the freedom, the unstructured time, the ability to see my kids learn and grow. I like that I'm like the mad scientist in charge of our learning lab - I can change things up and see how it goes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
choirfarm Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Two thoughts... No guilt trips intended, but if it is genuinely *relentlessly* hard to be with one's kids all day, then I do think someone is doing it wrong. Some kids are harder, some situations are harder, but if there's no relief from it and no silver lining, I would either want to stop and send the kids to school or would want to change something in how I parent. I guess I have never figured how to be nice and perfect 24 hours a day. We were married for 5 years before we had kids and I taught school. Being enthusiastic, nice happy, etc and teaching the lessons was exhausting and I came home every evening and took a nap before cooking dinner for my husband. Then I was home all the time with babies. So ALL DAY EVERY DAY you are saying, "Please say that nicely." "Have you finished your..." "Don't forget.." And I want to just go in my room and be by myself!!! Yes, it is MUCH easier now. I can go to the store by myself. It is wonderful. But when they were little and I was taking care of relatives as well and dh works long hours, well.. it was hard. My kids and I have fun. The older they get the better I like them. I taught high school because the thought of teaching kindergarteners scared me to death!!!! Now the oldest is really fun. He leaves in a year and a half and I don't want him to. Middle one is getting better. Now I only want to kill him once a day!!! But most of the day he makes me smile and has some great thoughts. My 4th grader needs to mature to be truly interesting. I much prefer A Tale of Two Cities to Clifford the Dog.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mamajudy Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Having homeschooled all my kids from K-12, with just 2 1/2 years to go, I have the satisfaction of knowing that I took my responsibility to "train up a child" seriously. You only get one chance. My husband and I have tried to give each one of our 5 children the opportunity to develop into the person he or she is meant to be. Each one of our kids is unique and has unique interests and talents. By homeschooling them, we were able to make the most of their individual personalities. Yes, there were some overwhelming years when they were young, but we have so many wonderful memories that we would not have had if the kids had gone to school. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jhschool Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Being with my kid all the time is the funnest, most rewarding thing. Although--he spends most weekends downstairs with his dad doing Physics or Python programming, and playing board games. I sit upstairs and watch fun stuff while the laundry runs. I run the vacuum cleaner. I take out garbage and try to make order of upstairs (we keep downstairs decent all the time). So I guess I am not with him all the time, since Dad takes him at the weekends (and we are married and living together). But the rest of the week it's great. He is my favorite person. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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