Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Hold me. He's just turned into somebody new and different in the last year or so. He is shy and super-quiet but he loves to belong to organizations, he likes the approval and interest of adults (this is very new for him), and he likes to come home and tell me about his adventures instead of having me always there. He's bright but not profoundly gifted academically like his big brother, so I can imagine him being fairly content at school and getting good grades. He's been testing his wings through Civil Air Patrol and lots of volunteering in the community. He likes being out in the world more. Honestly, I don't want to homeschool him through high school if he doesn't want to. We have a very good relationship right now, but he so wants a bigger world that I can imagine him resenting me for keeping him home. As much as I believe in homeschooling, I'm his Mama first. This boy has always been my 'special' one because he had so many special needs when he was little. Now that he's outgrown or resolved all those issues, I want our relationship to be about supporting his growth instead of holding his hand. (This isn't how I feel about my other kids. I'm hs'ing my oldest through high school, and I don't feel I'm holding him back. He's one that has more freedom and happiness as a homeschooler. He has no desire to go to school until college.) We talked to DH, who nearly fell over, and he's thinking about it. He does think ds#2 should go to school if he wants to, so it's a matter of finding the money and making choices. I don't want to send him to ps for 8th grade. I'd rather send him to the small Christian school for his first foray into school away from home. High school would then depend on whether he'd liked going to school, whether we could afford private high school, or whether he so badly wanted to go that we'd need to look at public school if that's all we could manage financially. I can't believe I'm here. This is unexpected, but it feels very right to let him have a say in this. He's just changed and grown so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think it's wonderful that you recognize the differences between your children and are willing to meet their needs where they are. Your DS is blessed to have such supportive parents. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
GWOB Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 :grouphug: Sometimes being a momma overrides being a homeschooler. You know your kid better than anyone. You know what he needs. If he needs to stretch his wings, let him. You are a good momma. You are not a bad homeschooler. Homeschooling is about making the best academic choices for each kid. It will be OK. Really. Your son has two parents who are cheering for him. He has two parents who want the best for him. He has two parents who will move mountains for him. He has a momma who will put aside her dreams to provide him with what he needs. That's a whole lot of awesomeness right there.:grouphug: It will be fine. It may even be great. Prayers for you and your family. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denise in IN Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 It's hard to make such a huge shift in thinking, but it certainly shows your dedication to doing what's best for you kids. I'm confident that you'll figure out how to navigate the road ahead. :grouphug: My oldest is in 7th this year, too, and it ties my stomach in knots thinking about making these decisions with him! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think you're brave and insightful to allow your child this adventure even though it's hard to let him go. It speaks volumes that you are able to put his needs above your own identity as a homeschooler. Way to go, momma. :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: I hope, if it comes to it, I can be this brave and thoughtful when my boys are older. Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tress Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think it's wonderful that you recognize the differences between your children and are willing to meet their needs where they are. Your DS is blessed to have such supportive parents. :) :iagree: and :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
urbanfamily Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think it's wonderful that you recognize the differences between your children and are willing to meet their needs where they are. Your DS is blessed to have such supportive parents. :) Absolutely!!! HE is not a principle to be maintained above all... OP, good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 :grouphug: :grouphug: It will be okay, he'll be fine, and so will you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PrincessMommy Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think it's wonderful that you recognize the differences between your children and are willing to meet their needs where they are. Your DS is blessed to have such supportive parents. :) I agree. I've put 3 of my 6 in school for various reasons and the other 3 graduated here at home with me. I think in the long run what we all want is to raise them well and to have a good relationship with our children into adulthood, not just the little badge that say "I homeschooled through high school". Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
silliness7 Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 :grouphug::grouphug: I completely understand. Every year it's a new adventure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Halcyon Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Good for you for being able to recognize that your son's needs trump everything. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Calvin reached that stage. We had (and have) a good relationship, but he needed a wider world. Best wishes with your decision making. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sparrow Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think it's wonderful that you recognize the differences between your children and are willing to meet their needs where they are. Your DS is blessed to have such supportive parents. :) :iagree: We've always said we're on this homeschooling journey until it doesn't work for someone anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MariannNOVA Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I think that it is wonderful that you have a 'box' large enough to bring you to these decisions. :) I think it is one of the true perks of homeschooling that we can enjoy -- knowing our children and their individual qualities, traits, observing them as they mature and grow, and then considering what is best for a particular child. :grouphug: Fwiw, dd12 (almost 13) will likely be attending Catholic school for 8th grade (9/2012) and then going on to high school - either private or public -- we have not decided yet -- again, finances, etc are a consideration. All three of us are very comfortable with this decision -- if we weren't, I daresay we would not be moving forward with it. Good luck to you and your family -- :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
luvnlattes Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 I'm his Mama first. This is so true. :grouphug: as you adjust to this decision. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cinder Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 It's good to recognize your ds needs something different, but it's still hard, isn't it? I remember when I first realized that ds1 needed something different--he was about the same age as your ds. We decided on a private school for him. It was a bit of a transition for all of us, but so much better for all of us in the long term. Your dc are blessed to have you as their mom! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 :grouphug: You know your kids. You know what they need. And, you raised them well, he's not going to go off and become a crackhead. :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lang Syne Boardie Posted January 11, 2012 Author Share Posted January 11, 2012 Thank you all so, so much. It means the world to me to be understood and not condemned by the homeschooling Moms I respect the most! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ester Maria Posted January 11, 2012 Share Posted January 11, 2012 Sigh. Is it not amazing how we tend to have such a beautiful, neatly planned picture of their schooling arrangements in our mind, and then they grow their own personalities, interests, and preferences and mess up our plans? :lol: But you know, it is a good thing for them to step up at some age, voice some preferences, make some choices and ultimately OWN their life rather than just duly walk the road "assigned" to them. And it is a good thing for us to recognize that it is a good thing for them, even if that sometimes messes up our ideal picture, and to recognize that different kids have different needs, which leads to different priorities as regards their schooling or general upbringing, and that sometimes they have needs which we cannot meet. So we send them away to the wider world and keep our fingers crossed. He will be fine. And you will be fine too. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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