ezrabean2005 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I am hated, reviled, and resented. I am disrespected, insulted, and ignored. I am invisible, an amateur, mistrusted. I am alone while completely surrounded. My home is discomfort. My choices aren’t my own. I console, advise, support, guide, and cheer. My check supports two homes, yet I am a *****. I long to be understood, supported, even loved. I want to be human. I want to be touched. I want too much. I am a stepmom. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommyagain Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: I am so sorry for your pain. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
PollyOR Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: So sorry. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
myfunnybunch Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: from another stepmom. It can be really hard. :grouphug: Cat Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MamaT Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
photomo Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 so sorry :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Word Nerd Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QuirkyKapers Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Stepmom here too. I totally understand. The good news: they grow up and (mostly) get their own life so it gets easier. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mama2cntrykids Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: from another stepmom. It can be really hard. :grouphug: Cat I am also a step-mom. Not easy at.all:grouphug:. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Smom hugs to you. It's a hard road. 12 years here, skid is grown now... And we still have our challenges. If you need a good peer support network, pm me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MunRoLy Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest submarines Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Can you show this to your dh? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
2cents Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Canadianmumof5 Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: I was a pretty rotten step-kid myself.....but if it is any consolation, I do look back and think that she was actually trying really hard, had lots to offer, and I should have been more grateful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OLG Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 :grouphug: Sometimes these pains come to non-step moms too....not that it makes it any easier. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Coming at this from a stepdaughter's POV: I adored my stepmom. To this day, she is one of my best friends in the world. I respect her and love her dearly. I will say though, that my father made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that they parented us as a team. There wasn't so much as a crack in that foundation. If they ever disagreed with each other on a parenting issue, they never discussed it in front of us kids. I found out later (as an adult) that they would have those discussions after we went to bed. They always had a united front. My father clearly respected and loved my stepmom in front of us kids too. And my stepmom always gave us the time/space we needed with our dad. She was never jealous over the relationship we had with our dad. Even as a young child I appreciated that from her. All that to ask, have you discussed any of this with your DH? :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HappyGrace Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 I will say though, that my father made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that they parented us as a team. There wasn't so much as a crack in that foundation. If they ever disagreed with each other on a parenting issue, they never discussed it in front of us kids. I found out later (as an adult) that they would have those discussions after we went to bed. They always had a united front. My father clearly respected and loved my stepmom in front of us kids too. And my stepmom always gave us the time/space we needed with our dad. She was never jealous over the relationship we had with our dad. Even as a young child I appreciated that from her. :grouphug: What a BLESSING!! I am so happy for you; what a wonderful thing they did for you. I desperately wish this had been the case for us. But the father is often the key, as you mentioned, and it's so rare to have a case like yours! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
********* Posted December 21, 2011 Share Posted December 21, 2011 Coming at this from a stepdaughter's POV: I adored my stepmom. To this day, she is one of my best friends in the world. I respect her and love her dearly. I will say though, that my father made it clear, in no uncertain terms, that they parented us as a team. There wasn't so much as a crack in that foundation. If they ever disagreed with each other on a parenting issue, they never discussed it in front of us kids. I found out later (as an adult) that they would have those discussions after we went to bed. They always had a united front. My father clearly respected and loved my stepmom in front of us kids too. And my stepmom always gave us the time/space we needed with our dad. She was never jealous over the relationship we had with our dad. Even as a young child I appreciated that from her. All that to ask, have you discussed any of this with your DH? :grouphug: Wow, yes, what at blessing! My own experience with my stepmother, who raised me, is the complete opposite of this. And now, I, as a stepmother, strive to be what you had. I hope I'm doing well. I think I am. My stepdaughter and I couldn't be more different than night and day, and yet, she posted just last week on facebook that I am the best stepmother ever. I love that girl. :) Chin up, OP. We're here for you. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Catwoman Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheApprentice Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 :grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ezrabean2005 Posted December 22, 2011 Author Share Posted December 22, 2011 Thanks so much for the hugs everyone. It's just a rough day / week. It's hard being a mom / stepmom and it helps not feeling alone. I know it will get better (heck most days are better than this one) and DH is amazingly supportive. I get down and discouraged at times, especially when DH's XW still hates me so much. I was hoping we'd have a better relationship after 10 years of this co-parenting. Thanks for the support.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Anne in CA Posted December 22, 2011 Share Posted December 22, 2011 I was an unappreciated step mother for many years, and it is just difficult.:grouphug::grouphug::grouphug: For what it's worth my step dd mostly came around and we enjoy each other very much, mostly. We are two different people, and I used to think that caused the problems. As I get older I know that you can give birth to a child completely different from you, and still have those same problems, lol. It happens. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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