Different kids=different schooling methods?

[Heather in Neverland]

How many of you are homeschooling some of your kids while others are in public or private school?

 

Short background:

 

Oldest ds was homeschooled all the way through 5th grade. Then we moved here. For 6th grade he went to school full time and hated it. For 7th grade he went half and half. It was better. This year he is going about 75% school and 25% homeschool. He hates it. He wants to homeschool full time for high school doing primarily online courses.

 

Younger ds only homeschooled for preschool. He has been here for kindy, first and second grade. He loves it!

 

They are total opposites. Older ds is an introvert, doesn't like to be around groups for very long, not athletic, not that social, etc.

 

Younger ds is very social, hates to be alone for any length of time, very athletic, etc.

 

If we left here to go back to the U.S. and homeschool, older ds would be thrilled and younger ds would be crushed. Stay here and older ds is miserable but younger ds is happy.

 

So we thought about staying here and just letting older ds take online classes full time (we have a nanny for our baby girl so there is an adult in the house at all times and he is a responsible kid).

 

What do you think? Have you split your kids up like this before for education? Did it work out ok?

[tex-mex]

Hi Heather,

I have an only -- but wanted to encourage you that this is possible. I know of families personally who do this. Different stroke for different folks. I seem to recall your oldest works better independently without stress, right?

[Rose in BC]

All our kids were homeschooled full time until Grade 8. My youngest entered public school in Grade 8. My dd is still full time homeschooled and my eldest son does half and half.

 

Its not what I imagined (I intended to homeschool full time, all of them) but life changes, circumstances change and, well, here we are.

[AK_Mom4]

ds20 - public school K-12

dd17 - public school K-11, homeschooling 12th grade

ds15 - public school k-4, homeschool 5-8, back in ps for high school

dd10 - public school K-1, homeschool since

 

So, yes - we have always had some at public school while others were/are homeschooled. It works beautifully.

 

One thing that helps for us is for the homeschooled kids to follow the public school calendar. It's too hard to do schoolwork when the other children are wandering around with the day off!

[Rosy]

DS is in school, the girls are homeschooled.

 

DS has struggled with school all along. I always told myself that he needed to be homeschooled more than the girls because of his struggles, that he needed the individualized attention and expectations tailored to his abilities. It has turned out to be the opposite--he needs the structure and positive peer pressure he gets at school. We started him about a month ago in 4th grade (according to his age), it turned out that his low test scores and emotional maturity made 4th grade basically impossible for him, so we transferred him to 3rd grade, where he is doing much better. Granted, it's only been a week, but we're starting to see him understanding the material taught in class and responding well.

 

It has been hard trying to accommodate a schooling lifestyle and a homeschooling lifestyle at the same time. It used to be that we would all do school in the morning (oldest DD would continue after the rest of us were done), I'd have some down time, then we'd do our evening activities. Now I have to do homework in the afternoon, and we've had to get more strict about bedtime. We have one evening where all 3 girls are in activities, and it takes 4 hours to do all the dropping off/picking up. That's hard for him after being in school all day (and still having homework when we get home). Also, our school lets out early on our co-op day, so that's been a challenge.

 

One of the best pieces of advice given to me when we were deciding what to do was that I'm not locked into anything. If we try something and it doesn't work, we can do something else. I know that can be more difficult than it sounds when you factor in kids' desires and attitude....but I think if your nanny is ok with it, I would let your son give online learning a try. Why keep a kid somewhere if they're not thriving and you have the ability to move them? We have to work to maintain family unity, but the girls and I go to his assemblies and talk to him about his school and friends, and we show/tell him what we're doing. Again, it's still early in the game, but it seems to be working.

[Natalieclare]

Back in college in 1989, I met a boy who was from a family in which some kids homeschooled and some went to public school. They'd all started out homeschooling while on the mission field, but the parents gave them the choice when they got back to the States. My friend explained it to me like this: he was a guitar playing, ballet lessons, earthy kind of guy; he chose to homeschool. His brother was a football playing, ASB kind of guy; he chose to go to public school. Both boys got their needs met.

[snickelfritz]

My oldest is in school this year, while my youngest is home schooled. Now that we are split, I run into a LOT of families that have kids doing different things.

 

Our biggest problems may be pretty specific to my situation and my kids are younger.

 

--Younger dd has gotten much lonelier than I expected, with being the only one at home. Because they didn't play together all the time, I didn't realize how much they played together...apart....together.....apart all through the day.

--Homeschool activities that start at 1:00 and run over into the time I have to go pick up older dd.

--Not being able to do things at older dd's school, because siblings aren't allowed at the class parties or field trips.

--No real down time, because I'm doing schoolwork during the day with younger and homework at night with older. And instrument practice. And activities. It's just much busier....all day long, because their activities and studies can't be run in tandem.

--Having one on someone else's schedule means we lost a lot of the fun, relaxed nature that I liked in homeschooling. We can't run to another city for a field trip, because we have to be back to get older dd. We can't stay up late to go somewhere, because we can't sleep in.

Edited December 4, 2011 by snickelfritz

[angela in ohio]

Yep. Oldest is staying home through high school. She prefers to just get her work done and do her own thing. Middle dd is probably going to high school next year at the local Catholic girls' school. She likes playing the school game - trying to be the best in her class, keeping up with friends, etc. Oldest will be taking a lot of online classes and cc classes next year, and that would leave middle alone more, so school will probably be a better option for her. I'm also at the point with her where we need some help getting the challenge she needs.

 

I gave them the choice, because both are great options. They are very different girls, and they have different needs.

[saw]

My 13 yo twin dd's homeschool using mostly a virtual academy. They've been doing this for about two years now, and it works for them.

My 10 yo ds is in boarding school and has been for 1.5 years.

My 5 yo ds is in an independent Christian school.

 

This is what works best for each child at this moment in time. DDs will probably go to school for the last couple of years of high school, but that's because we have some really good options at that point in terms of school. DS loves his school and is doing better than he has ever done. He'll probably board until he goes to university. Little DS loves school and is a super-social needs-lots-of-structure kid, and I couldn't give him what he needs and give the girls what they need if he were home.

 

It can be tricky when we try to do homeschool groups or events and I have to go pick up DS from school or when the dates conflict with school holidays. It has meant we can't do some activities we might do unless I get sitters for DS.

 

We're having a very good experience with online schooling for the girls. They are taking charge of their education and deal with teachers and admin on their own (with my supervision of course but I rarely have to intervene as long as I know what is going on and can steer them), which is making them very independent and responsible.

 

At this point, as long as the four of them are learning and happy, I'm happy.

[Amber in AUS]

If you think he will be happy at home and actually to well with his work then i would let him homeschool and just send the younger one to school BUT i would be keeping a close eye on his work (i'm sure you will) to make sure that he is understanding properly and making the grades you expect.

 

You have to try and meet each child where they are at, that is part of homeschooling :)

[Cinder]

Yes, it's possible--a lot of families split their kids up. We're one of them. All 3 were homeschooled from the beginning. Then ds1 went to private school for 9th. The next year ds2 went to the same school part time for 7th. This year both boys are full-time at school but dd is still home. The boys need the extra structure and the outside teachers. I've posted before about how my oldest struggled, wanting to separate the mom from the teacher. He became so much more relaxed at home once he started school. Dd needs to be at home because she just needs the time and space to be creative and let her mind wander. It works for us.

[Mommyfaithe]

We have not done it yet...but I am planning on it. My oldest still home is apprenticing with his dad...and homeschooling part time. So, while he is not in public or private school...he is out of the house most of the day, and does not school with us. He has 2 classes he needs to finish his high school classes then will take some CLEPs and online college classes.

 

My next dd is in need of social outlet. She is a social person....and being home with 2 little brothers is just NOT cutting it for her. Our plan is to have her study like crazy....and enter CC at 16. Her brother will be going too, so hopefully they can go together.

 

I am not planning on homeschooling my younger boys past 8 th grade at this time. I am just not thrilled with my ability to homeschool the boys through high school. My boys get antsy around 15/16. They need out. I need them to be out:D. I tried with my 2 older boys and they did great academically....but it was completely exhausting...and I am too burnt to deal with that again. I sound like a quitter. It bugs me.....but it is what it is....

 

These plans are certainly subject to change.

 

Faithe

 

ETA: Most of my friends and relatives who homeschool only do so through 8 th grade...then the kids go to high school. There are plusses and minuses.....

Edited December 4, 2011 by Mommyfaithe

[Parrothead]

I would do my best to do what is best for each child. If your oldest will thrive at home, let him be at home.

 

My brother took a year of correspondence school in high school. He was home alone all day, every day since I was at school and both my parents worked.

[Pamela H in Texas]

My oldest is graduated (jr in college). My next is graduating this Spring (from home). My three littles are in school and will be at least another year, but likely longer. Even when I start homeschooling them, if I do, I don't intend to bring them all home at the same time (and I may not bring them all home).

 

Kids are individuals. You do what is best for each individual kiddo :)

[Night Elf]

Dd13 has spent time in public schools. It didn't affect our family lifestyle at all. It was what she needed at that particular time. When it ceased being a good thing, I pulled her out.

[elise1mds]

edited...

--Homeschool activities that start at 1:00 and run over into the time I have to go pick up older dd.

...edited...

--No real down time, because I'm doing schoolwork during the day with younger and homework at night with older. And instrument practice. And activities. It's just much busier....all day long, because their activities and studies can't be run in tandem.

--Having one on someone else's schedule means we lost a lot of the fun, relaxed nature that I liked in homeschooling. We can't run to another city for a field trip, because we have to be back to get older dd. We can't stay up late to go somewhere, because we can't sleep in.

 

We're pretty much in the same boat here. DS has been home since first grade (he's now in third) and DD has never been homeschooled. The above is a good list of all the difficulties that we have encountered; I've edited the original list somewhat to remove the few things that I don't experience (for example, DS is allowed up at DD's school for parties and field trips). However, there are plenty of positives, too. DD is quite competitive and outgoing and loves being at the top of her class, and she loves helping her fellow students. She loves art (something I'm not good at doing) and a spiral approach to math (DS prefers mastery), and the school provides these for her. DS loves working by himself and is amenable to me teaching him day in and day out; DD would lose it after a week or two of being 'stuck' at home with mom.

 

I would love to bring DD home, but I just don't know if it's really the best thing for her, which is the bottom line for me. I have to reassess all the time. You'll do the best thing for your kiddos, I'm sure :)

[Farrar]

I homeschool both, but increasingly I find myself using different curricula and different approaches. It's not always easy, but I think doing your best by each child means doing something different sometimes.

[SailorMom]

My DS's were homeschooled starting in 1st and 2nd grade.

Last year my older DS decided he wanted to go to 8th grade, but younger DS wants to remain homescooled all the way through.

I think - for both of them - this is the best course.

Older ds is doing great and really wanted the 'high school" experience. Younger DS really needs to be HS'ed, so I'm glad he's happy with it :)

[Michelle in AL]

Not the same situation, but my oldest has thrived with online classes. She's found her niche and has pursued her interests.

 

Her favorite online classes are Derek Owens for physics and calculus (these aren't group classes though) and anything from Potters School.

 

We knew she was an engineering type kid, so she pursued those types of classes: mechanical CAD, Architectural CAD, then she found that she loved flying and took aviation science. She works hard in her classes since she's working for someone else and is very self motivated and happy.

 

If your son is self motivated and hard working, online classes with the correct school, may be a good fit regardless of where you end up living.

[Joyofsixreboot]

Oldest a PS grad and next 2 in public HS. 7the grader in state cyber-school. 5th and 2nd grader homeschooled. 4yo in church preschool. I think we've hit most of our area's schooling possibilities:D. I have to do what's best for each kid.

[Tap]

There have only been a couple of years in our journey where both kids were doing the same thing each year, otherwise there has always been a distinct split in their paths.

 

Ds17 has attended public, private (faith based), homeschool/public hybrid (each year with different percentages), public STEM program, dual enrollment high school/college (full time at the college campus).

 

DD13 has done private (faith based), homeschool/hybrid, homeschool only, private school (non-religious)

 

 

As you can see, we make changes each year, adjusting to what was best for each child at the time.

 

It makes for a lot of running around for the parents, and I felt like my brain was always in planning mode (I also work 30-40hrs a week), but homeschooling was some of the best years of our lives.

 

Dd13 was home alone for a lot of her 5th grade year. She still did great and loved it. We altered her schedule to accommodate the most time with family being during her awake time. She is a natural night owl so what we did was: I got off work at 8pm, we started her school at 9pm. We worked together until midnight. Then I would go wind down, go to bed. She would continue working until about 3am (she likes to take her time with school), then she would go to bed. She would wake up around noon, finish any work she needed to do. Her friends would get home around 2pm, and she had free time until school at 9pm. Her dad was home around 5 and her brother (4years older) was in and out during the day. She loved, loved, loved that schedule. Even after she started at her current private school, which she loves even more....she often said how much she missed the schedule of being up at night.

[Hikin' Mama]

I homeschooled my oldest through 6th grade, at which point I decided our relationship would be nil if I continued homeschooling. He went to a small private school in grades 7 and 8, and the local public high school for 9-12. Great choice for us, and I enjoyed the teenage years with him much more than if he would have been at home that last 6 years.

 

My middle son was homeschooled until grade 8, at which time he asked to go to the high school. He and I had great fun each day and a great relationship, but he loves cross country and track and wanted to be at school with the kids from his team. He's doing very well there, and while I miss having him at home, I'm happy with this choice as well.

 

My youngest, 14 yod, is still homeshooled and will continue to be all through high school. She is dyslexic, and home is the absolute best place for her. She's content being here, and has a good group of friends that are homeschooled.

 

One of the benefits of homeschooling, I think, is being able to work with each child's strengths and address their individual weaknesses. The other great thing about homeschooling is that it has made me realize that there is more than one way to obtain an education.

[Mandamom]

We've done a variety of schooling to fit the needs of family and each kid

 

DSS19 -- public school to homeschool to public school to private school (graduated)

DSS16 -- public school to homeschool

DD11 -- homeschool to public school

DD9 -- public school to private school (she's the one I would like to homeschool next)

DD5 -- public school (possible homeschool candidate)

[jennynd]

my 2 kids are very different. one is introvert/observing and lay back. I push this one hard. he has the potential but need people to challenge him. my other one is extrovert/aggressive and a self driver. she tells me what she want to do. If i push her, it will only back fire.

so yes, I can see two different method for 2 different kids

[mommaduck]

It's not even just different kids, but also different phases. I have one that was homeschooled all the way through seventh grade, skipped eighth, freshman year at a private highschool (did well, but we lacked money this year), and is cyberschooling this year (he's doing well and is pretty much in charge of his schooling, the cyber offers more, and he's motivated...also, the cyber is dangling a nice "3.0 gpa and we'll pay for two cc classes per semester plus summer" carrot in front of him...he can also graduate early if he is so motivated).

 

I have three children that, for different reasons, might end up in private school next year while I continue to homeschool the younger ones and while the oldest continues to cyber school.

[Jilly]

I have twins who have very different personalities and needs. My son homeschools, and my daughter attends a charter school for the arts. My son likes being home, and he is thriving academically. My daughter loves being at school, and she is thriving in that environment. I sometimes wish that my daughter was still home because I miss her, and I miss our homeschool schedule, but she is happy. The school is a perfect fit for her, just as homeschool is a perfect fit for her twin brother.:001_smile:

[Heather in Neverland]

Thanks for the reassurance ladies. It's nice to know it can be done. I think we are going to give it a shot!

[Laura in CA]

 

One thing that helps for us is for the homeschooled kids to follow the public school calendar. It's too hard to do schoolwork when the other children are wandering around with the day off!

 

:iagree:

 

 

Its not what I imagined (I intended to homeschool full time, all of them) but life changes, circumstances change and, well, here we are.

 

:iagree:

 

Just before he turned 15, my older son asked to go to our local public high school for 10th grade -- and he is my quieter, more introspective, etc. kid. Who knew? My more-social younger son is thriving at home, with tons of friends, & community college, small-group, and online classes (frankly, he's more out-of-the-box anyway). It's much quieter at home without older brother :001_huh: but they're both where they want to be.

[Elizabeth in WA]

I have had some in public school and some homeschooled and absolutely hated it. Besides being tied to the ps schedule, I found it just too much to supervise ps homework for a very reluctant homework-doer after teaching homeschool all day.

 

That said, my oldest is going to start community college classes in January. I don't anticipate any issues with him taking ownership and responisibility for the outside class work at this point, however. Also, since he is an Aspie, the decision to do this is as much about providing social and life skills training as it is about education.