S/O on "The Talk" thread...

[Mama2Many4]

My 2 oldest are 6 and 8 and have never asked about how babies are born. They know that a mom has the baby grow in her belly and that they come out of her vagina, but past that they have no interest. They just don't care and have never asked. What happens when kids don't care to know? Do you sit them down at a certain age and tell them.

 

I'll be honest. I'm horrified to tell them about sex and all of that. The whole thing just bothers me. My parents never had the talk with me. I found out from friends and fought them tooth and nail over the details. I thought everyone was born like baby Jesus.

 

What to do! :confused:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Yes, I would tell them. I wouldn't want my children to learn stuff from their friends first.

 

IMO, by 8 or 9 they should know the basics of sex, periods, wet dreams, erections, masturbation (that it is okay, not a how-to), etc.

[Margo out of lurking]

My kids also had no curiosity. When my dd was in preschool, "Daddy gives Mommy a special hug and the baby begins to grow" was good for her.

 

We told both of our kids when we began to have concerns they might hear things elsewhere. They didn't have exposure to other kids en masse that most public schooled kids do.

 

I knew I had to give them info out of a book. I spent an hour or so at B&N--by myself--looking through all of their kids book on s3x. The two I chose were the first two in the God's Design for Sex series. (I'm mentioning this specifically to you as I see that you use CLE as part of your curriculum.)

 

I felt the same as you. My kids were very unimpressed by the whole thing, which made me a lot less apprehensive.:)

[Pamela H in Texas]

Well certain know-it-alls will probably tell you youre a prude and your kids just aren't comfy coming to you. ESP if your kids make it double digits with no real interest. my kids were finally forced based on peer pressure I gve into. And they didn't remember it since they had no interest. So being dumb, I forced them again. Silly. I know my kids best and should have let them be until right for them. Ds showed interest eventually. Dd still couldn't care less.

 

I say answe what comes up but you probably do want to get to them before playmates do. That is more of an issue For some kids than others. I'm on my phone so can't link it but look up It's so Amazing over at amazon. Very easy handling of the topics. Appropriate for kids 6-10 (probably 14 in my first kids' cases). I have the book out for my littles due to their needs.

Edited November 19, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[ThatCyndiGirl]

You could leave appropriate (to you) books around, like the one Pamela mentioned, perhaps so as to encourage questions?

[Crimson Wife]

IMO, by 8 or 9 they should know the basics of sex, periods, wet dreams, erections, masturbation (that it is okay, not a how-to), etc.

 

Because so many parents today share the above attitude, this is why I decided to go ahead and have "the talk" at age 8 even though I'd rather have waited until DD was going through puberty. I wanted my DD to learn about s*x from a traditional Biblical POV, not a permissive secular POV.

[Crimson Wife]

The two I chose were the first two in the God's Design for Sex series. (I'm mentioning this specifically to you as I see that you use CLE as part of your curriculum.)

 

I really like the God's Design for Sex series as well.

[Mama2Many4]

I'm mulling all of this over and biting my nails on this.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Because so many parents today share the above attitude, this is why I decided to go ahead and have "the talk" at age 8 even though I'd rather have waited until DD was going through puberty. I wanted my DD to learn about s*x from a traditional Biblical POV, not a permissive secular POV.

 

 

It's great that you found a solution that works for your family.

[Crimson Wife]

It's great that you found a solution that works for your family.

 

I don't mean to pick on you personally, it's just that I'm really fed up that my hand was forced into discussing s*x before I really feel it's appropriate to do so. 50 years ago I wouldn't have had to do it because the prevailing social norms were not telling 8 y.o.'s that sexual self-gratification is a-okay. If the topic were discussed at all, it would've been done in accordance with traditional Biblical values.

[*Lulu*]

I don't mean to pick on you personally, it's just that I'm really fed up that my hand was forced into discussing s*x before I really feel it's appropriate to do so. 50 years ago I wouldn't have had to do it because the prevailing social norms were not telling 8 y.o.'s that sexual self-gratification is a-okay. If the topic were discussed at all, it would've been done in accordance with traditional Biblical values.

 

 

I fully plan to teach sex from the Biblical POV that DH and I embrace. I also believe that it is important for our kids to hear the facts about their bodies from us before they start to experience changes. Considering early on-set puberty is not so rare anymore, 8 does not seem like an inappropriate age.

[myfunnybunch]

We worked the reproductive system into our human body study. It was pretty basic and straightforward.

 

Start talking about it now...if you think you feel awkward when they're this age, wait until they're teens. My girls had some pretty big and very awkward questions for me, and I was glad we were in the habit of diving in and talking about things anyway.

 

Cat

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I fully plan to teach sex from the Biblical POV that DH and I embrace. I also believe that it is important for our kids to hear the facts about their bodies from us before they start to experience changes. Considering early on-set puberty is not so rare anymore, 8 does not seem like an inappropriate age.

 

 

Not to mention that teaching kids not to have sex AND not to have any other outlet sets them up for failure, imo. I understand that not everyone agrees with that, but with studies coming out that say that Evangelical kids have sex as much as non-religious kids, they are just less likely to use birth control, it seems prudent to discuss it and prepare them.

 

As usual, ymmv.

Edited November 19, 2011 by ThatCyndiGirl

[Parrothead]

I'm going to be the odd one out and say don't force it. When they are curious they will come ask you about it as long as you keep the lines of communication open for everything.

 

That is what seems to be working well with my dd. Granted her friends are limited and just as sheltered a she is.

[Heather in Neverland]

Ds got just the basics at about age 9. Then around age 11 he got more details. He is now 13 and knows what he needs to know. If there's something he wants to know, he asks. We always answer every question he has with complete honesty. I specifically remember the day he asked what masturbation is. Yikes. But we told him the truth.

 

What i do NOT agree with is "unloading the whole bale of hay" in one sitting. Give them what they need to know at the moment...give them more later... Don't make a big deal out of it and they won't.

[Joyofsixreboot]

I answered when they asked. Which has varied widely. My 13yo has not really asked. I did explain periods, etc since at some point she'll need to know that. Maybe after that starts she'll ask? My older kids asked between 5-8 and I just told them. My younger 4 just don't seem to care so I'll wait.

[Tmhearn]

The OP said that her kids knew about pregnancy and babies coming out of the mother's vagina. For the people who say that they should know much more by 5-8 yo. Are you actually explaining the details of intercourse to your 8 yo? Or do you just mean that you are going into more details about the egg, seed, etc?

 

I have had this conversation with friends lately and no one is explaining beyond what the op said to an 8 yo. However, I do remember getting more details from my mom when I was 8. But, I had approached her with questions. (Probably cause I was in ps. Ha ha ha!)

[Mimm]

My kids were the same. I didn't realize how little I had told them till the topic of breastfeeding came up one day. The didn't know what it was and when I explained they didn't believe me! They laughed and said, "Yeah right." I googled for breastfeeding and clicked on images. I remember my (now) ten year old staring at these babies and saying, "That.... is disgusting." I laughed so hard. But I also pulled out a book with a fairly scientific explanation of human conception. It didn't describe sex but but went into the whole sperm/egg thing. I still need to go into more detail but I feel very very awkward having these conversations. My parents never told me anything and I have no model for having healthy, open discussions about the issue.

 

eta: I also gave my oldest that American Girls body book a while ago so she has that information.

[sparrow]

Get some chickens! Hens to be exact. By bringing chickens into your life, and raising them from chicks, inevitably, one of your kids is going to ask if they can't keep one of the eggs the hens start laying to raise another chick. This is where you get to explain that there won't be another chick, because we don't own a rooster. You'll talk about chicken biology and reproduction and the little light bulb will go off over their head and they'll say, "so you say *humans* have eggs, too? Where? How do those get fertilized?" And then "OHHHHHH". ;)

 

We had been open and talking with our kids since they were wee, but nothing really clicked for them until we got chickens :D. Good luck!

[Mommyof4ks]

We wait until they come to us. My dd was 10 when she asked. My 6 and 8 yr olds are not interested in the least bit, so I am leaving it alone. They are too busy playing legos and video games, an IMO that should be there obsession now, not s#x.

[Sevilla]

Don't jump right to sex. Instead, start with talking about their own individual body parts. Include the reproductive side of things.

 

I.e., Talk about how boys have a penis and testes and inside the testes there is sperm that helps make a baby. Talk about the 'great sperm race' to get to the egg (look for animated youtube videos - they're pretty neat).

 

Discuss how a woman's body releases an egg each month that can make a baby if it meets up with a sperm who 'wins the race'. Talk about ovaries and the uterus, and also how a woman gets her period (blood that doesn't hurt like a cut) if there is no egg fertilized.

 

Once they have all that data down, then it's a simple matter of filling in the final piece at some later date (how does the sperm get to the egg and start this whole process? P*n*s inside v*g*na. You don't have to discuss foreplay, arousal, orgasm, etc... at this age - that can come later.

[Ester Maria]

I teach the biological aspect, i.e. human anatomy and physiology, as a part of general scientific education. Any additional questions are discussed when / if they come. I do not "suggest" the questions to a child. So, while my children have always known about the birds and the bees strictly biologically speaking, and about the differences between a male and a female body, I have respected their timing with regard to their (lack of) additional personal interest in the topic.

 

I, too, am on the conservative side regarding what an 8-9 year old child should know - I think this general biological aspect is just enough. I do not think that the more nitty gritty details or the "mechanics" of sex should be on the radar of an average child.

 

The less they ask at this age, the better, IMO. I do think that a premature interest in these things is bad and somewhat unnatural. When I was growing up, I honestly do not recall that sexual matters as such were on anyone's interest radar before at least upper middle school years, and even that was on the younger side. At your sons' ages, I had literally zero interest or curiosity in anything sexual. "The talk" which expanded more in details of practical application of the notions acquired in Biology lessons was a high school thing, and not all of us got it in the first place.

[happyhomemaker]

I answer questions as they come up. So far ds has been more curious than dd which surprised me for some reason. I did tell dd about menstration without her asking when she hit 9. Girls seem to be starting their cycles early now and I didnt want her to start and then panic or think something was wrong with her. I have heard some horror stories from women who didn't know basic facts and then thought they were dying when they had their period for the first time. I'll get dh to do the same for ds when he gets to be about that age. I will wait for questions about other things, but I don't want them to worry when changes start happening with their bodies.

[happyhomemaker]

Oh, someone mentioned explaining about breast feeding, which made me think of a funny story.

 

The dc were fine with explaining how the baby gets milk, where it comes from, etc. One day I mentioned that I was going to give dd2 some cereal. Ds looks at my boOks and says, "Oh, You didn't tell us they could make cereal!" :lol:

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Oh, someone mentioned explaining about breast feeding, which made me think of a funny story.

 

The dc were fine with explaining how the baby gets milk, where it comes from, etc. One day I mentioned that I was going to give dd2 some cereal. Ds looks at my boOks and says, "Oh, You didn't tell us they could make cereal!" :lol:

I love that! :tongue_smilie:

[Desert Rat]

When my niece, then 5, saw me nursing my oldest, she asked, "Is he drinking your blood?!" She had this totally grossed out look on her face. I explained, no, and, with her mom's permission, squirted a bit of milk into my hand to show her. She thought it was cool that I could do that. :) Still brings a smile to my face when I remember her innocence.

[Mommy22alyns]

I really like the God's Design for Sex series as well.

 

 

This is what we have used too. Just the first two books right now.

 

My girls know more about periods and ovulation than the mechanics of sex or other things. I err on the more conservative side too and I don't see any reason to rush it. I answer questions simply and honestly, but more from the side of anatomy & physiology.

[Perogi]

I have a 6yo and 8yo dd and I'm not sure how to approach this with them either. I've always thought I'd answer questions as they arise and despite lots of exposure they just aren't asking questions!!! They know where a baby grows, how a baby comes out, that I have a period, that sperm determines if a baby is a boy or girl (thanks to the Usborne Flip Flap Body Book), that a male and female are required to reproduce, have watched live births of sheep, etc. I don't want to shock dd 8yo out of her innocence BUT if anyone is going to do that I want it to be me, kwim?! I'm not sure at what point I should just bite the bullet and give her the basics of intercourse before she hears it somewhere else. Maybe I'll get some of the God's Design series...

[LittleIzumi]

The OP said that her kids knew about pregnancy and babies coming out of the mother's vagina. For the people who say that they should know much more by 5-8 yo. Are you actually explaining the details of intercourse to your 8 yo? Or do you just mean that you are going into more details about the egg, seed, etc?

 

We did the same. We started with egg/sperm/embryo, with our medical textbooks and a couple from the library. My oldest is very curious & science-minded and after a few months, she asked point-blank HOW the sperm got inside the mommy to make the egg. :001_huh: I gave her a general answer (tab A into slot B w/the scientific terminology, and notes about only when you're married). She is quick though, lol. She turned it right around and said that Daddy did _____________ to Mommy to make a baby! and happily went on to talk about if spiders used a ___ in a ____ to make babies, etc, etc. So. Yeah. She knows but it wasn't planned, lol. We also talked about the natural curiosity of touching yourself when she hit that point & how it feels good because it's for making babies and making babies is fun, LOL, but it's not a toy.

Edited November 19, 2011 by LittleIzumi

[Joanne]

Eh. I'll go ahead and be the certain know it all Pamela was referencing.

 

I don't know where the idea came from that, with regard to sex, you only tell kids when they ask. I tell my kids stuff ALL THE TIME that they don't ask: about how to cook spaghetti, who Copernicus was, why I was yelling at the TV about Penn State.

 

I *told* my kids about sex from day one. It's never been a hidden, deliberately or intetionally withheld topic. We've talked about sex, at developmentally appropriate levels, since they were born.

 

The choices aren't "Biblical POV" or "permissive secular".

 

The fact that they play with dolls and legos doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't know about sex. Contrary to sentiment, knowing about procreation and some (age appropriate) information about intimacy won't make them "obsessed".

 

Knowing about sex and biology does not *sexualize* or *accelerate* them. It doesn't take away their innocence (which is an elusive idea imbued with questionable virtue, anyway).

 

I ALSO want my kids to know about sex, sexuality, and intimacy because what they hear from some people at church goes against my views, and I want them to know from me first.

[Mrs Twain]

We haven't talked to our 8 y.o. yet because he is the kind of kid who would immediately share the information with all of his friends and the kids on our street, probably also including their parents. We don't want to get all of our neighbors mad at us yet.

 

However, our kids have watched so much Animal Planet that I don't think there is a lot left for dh and I to tell them.

[Doran5]

I got a book for my husband and son to read together. It's called Preparing your Son for Every Man's Battle. It's a great book that you could read with your oldest, but it's more for Dads to do.

My 12yo and I have discussed some things. Thanks to our technological age, it was easier for him to text me questions so he didn't have to look at me while asking them. Plus, it allowed me time to get over the shock of them and then formulate an appropriate answer.

They are still young and unless they are unsupervised with older children who may have been exposed to more info, I would stick with the answer the questions as they come until probably 10. Then expect the oldest to repeat EVERYTHING to the younger ones at some point.

[Marylou]

Oh, someone mentioned explaining about breast feeding, which made me think of a funny story.

 

The dc were fine with explaining how the baby gets milk, where it comes from, etc. One day I mentioned that I was going to give dd2 some cereal. Ds looks at my boOks and says, "Oh, You didn't tell us they could make cereal!" :lol:

 

:lol: Ha ha! If only they could make bean dip on demand!

[Marylou]

Yeah, I was quite proactive with the talk (according to age-appropriateness). I was determined to not let Cosmo-in-the-grocery-line beat me :glare: I still turn it around while I'm waiting to pay; it literally gags me.

[Skadi]

Eh. I'll go ahead and be the certain know it all Pamela was referencing.

 

I don't know where the idea came from that, with regard to sex, you only tell kids when they ask. I tell my kids stuff ALL THE TIME that they don't ask: about how to cook spaghetti, who Copernicus was, why I was yelling at the TV about Penn State.

 

I *told* my kids about sex from day one. It's never been a hidden, deliberately or intetionally withheld topic. We've talked about sex, at developmentally appropriate levels, since they were born.

 

The choices aren't "Biblical POV" or "permissive secular".

 

The fact that they play with dolls and legos doesn't mean they can't or shouldn't know about sex. Contrary to sentiment, knowing about procreation and some (age appropriate) information about intimacy won't make them "obsessed".

 

Knowing about sex and biology does not *sexualize* or *accelerate* them. It doesn't take away their innocence (which is an elusive idea imbued with questionable virtue, anyway).

 

:cheers2: :hurray:

[Bluegoat]

I teach the biological aspect, i.e. human anatomy and physiology, as a part of general scientific education. Any additional questions are discussed when / if they come. I do not "suggest" the questions to a child. So, while my children have always known about the birds and the bees strictly biologically speaking, and about the differences between a male and a female body, I have respected their timing with regard to their (lack of) additional personal interest in the topic.

 

I, too, am on the conservative side regarding what an 8-9 year old child should know - I think this general biological aspect is just enough. I do not think that the more nitty gritty details or the "mechanics" of sex should be on the radar of an average child.

 

The less they ask at this age, the better, IMO. I do think that a premature interest in these things is bad and somewhat unnatural. When I was growing up, I honestly do not recall that sexual matters as such were on anyone's interest radar before at least upper middle school years, and even that was on the younger side. At your sons' ages, I had literally zero interest or curiosity in anything sexual. "The talk" which expanded more in details of practical application of the notions acquired in Biology lessons was a high school thing, and not all of us got it in the first place.

 

 

I think this kind of thing - being so unaware of the facts of life - is actually a pretty recent thing, and it is a very wealthy Western thing. Which isn't to say it is bad, but I don't know that it is better.

 

A 150 years ago people were not only closer to the animal world, they often shared very small homes. If you think about something like the Little House books, and the homes they lived in, it is pretty clear there was not much privacy. It would have been hard for the kids to be totally unawre of the parents activities.

 

That is how it has been for most of human history and it is in much of the world today. The kind of privacy we take for granted is pretty unique. I am not inclined to think that being unaware of such things is really why they had a different attitude to sex.

[Heather in Neverland]

 

Knowing about sex and biology does not *sexualize* or *accelerate* them. It doesn't take away their innocence (which is an elusive idea imbued with questionable virtue, anyway).

.

 

Well, if sex were ONLY about "biology" then I would agree with you. But that is stripping it of its social, cultural, and political meanings. The fact is, thanks to things like the Disney channel and MTV and a host of other entities, our children ARE deliberately sexualized at a very young age.

 

When I see the 6yo girl next door in a pair of short-shorts with the word "hottie" across her butt I know that our children are being targeted. The quicker we get them knowing about sex, interested in sex, viewing and buying things that buy into the whole sex culture... The more money companies make.

 

I will not push my children into that world before they have to be.

[LittleIzumi]

Well, if sex were ONLY about "biology" then I would agree with you. But that is stripping it of its social, cultural, and political meanings. The fact is, thanks to things like the Disney channel and MTV and a host of other entities, our children ARE deliberately sexualized at a very young age.

 

When I see the 6yo girl next door in a pair of short-shorts with the word "hottie" across her butt I know that our children are being targeted. The quicker we get them knowing about sex, interested in sex, viewing and buying things that buy into the whole sex culture... The more money companies make.

 

I will not push my children into that world before they have to be.

 

Interesting take. Personally, I'd rather teach them our side of things before they are slammed by the sex culture that's so pervasive & starts so young. I want them to know that's something they don't want to emulate and some of why.

[Caitilin]

Well, if sex were ONLY about "biology" then I would agree with you. But that is stripping it of its social, cultural, and political meanings. The fact is, thanks to things like the Disney channel and MTV and a host of other entities, our children ARE deliberately sexualized at a very young age.

 

When I see the 6yo girl next door in a pair of short-shorts with the word "hottie" across her butt I know that our children are being targeted. The quicker we get them knowing about sex, interested in sex, viewing and buying things that buy into the whole sex culture... The more money companies make.

 

I will not push my children into that world before they have to be.

 

I agree with this, that children are being targeted as *consumers* of the idea that s3x is for sale. This is absolutely loathesome. However, I also agree with Joanne that there is nothing inherent about the knowledge of the facts which "sexualizes" children. My dds and I have been talking since they were about 8-9, conversations which were made necessary by other families' willingness to explain the nitty gritty of abortion to their age-mates.:001_huh::glare: In order to explain to them what abortion was, I had to explain s3x. My (unchanged) conviction is that 8 year olds should not have to have abortion explained to them; but the positive effect was that it forced us into having THE talk. And that has been nothing but good for us. Dds are not sexualized, they have no embarrassment of discussing questions with me, or with dh. A bad setup, but an excellent outcome.:001_smile:

[Joanne]

Well, if sex were ONLY about "biology" then I would agree with you. But that is stripping it of its social, cultural, and political meanings. The fact is, thanks to things like the Disney channel and MTV and a host of other entities, our children ARE deliberately sexualized at a very young age.

 

When I see the 6yo girl next door in a pair of short-shorts with the word "hottie" across her butt I know that our children are being targeted. The quicker we get them knowing about sex, interested in sex, viewing and buying things that buy into the whole sex culture... The more money companies make.

 

I will not push my children into that world before they have to be.

 

That is a separate topic from my post. I actually agree with you about what does sexualize children. Telling children about biology and sex, appropriately, doesn't push them into anything and gives them my "take" rather than disney's, peers, or church's.

[Crimson Wife]

For the people who say that they should know much more by 5-8 yo. Are you actually explaining the details of intercourse to your 8 yo? Or do you just mean that you are going into more details about the egg, seed, etc?

 

I have had this conversation with friends lately and no one is explaining beyond what the op said to an 8 yo. However, I do remember getting more details from my mom when I was 8. But, I had approached her with questions. (Probably cause I was in ps. Ha ha ha!)

 

Yes, because it seems the norm here for parents to tell kids about the mechanics of intercourse at 4 or 5. :rolleyes: And they are definitely NOT doing it with a Biblical POV. I figured with being HS I could put it off a bit longer, but as she got older, I worried more and more about her hearing about it from some other kid. So at age 8, I went ahead and had "the talk".

[myfunnybunch]

I certainly don't have much of an opinion on when other families should have THE talk. My firm belief in that regard is that it's an individual family decision.

 

I do agree with Joanne, though, that knowledge of the biology of sex does not make our children any less innocent.

 

We have to remember that our kids *are* innocent, so they are coming into these conversations unweighted by the baggage and background knowledge that we have as adults. A child is not likely to independently come up with a connection between age-appropriate basic "facts of life" and words emblazoned across someone's bottom or bikini-clad girls hawking beer on tv. We certainly see the connection because we're adults and our knowledge of human sexuality goes far beyond what fits where. Kids don't.

 

Cat

[myfunnybunch]

I'd rather teach them our side of things before they are slammed by the sex culture that's so pervasive & starts so young. I want them to know that's something they don't want to emulate and some of why.

 

:iagree: Yes, this. :iagree:

 

IMO, it is crucial to address the other aspects along with the simple facts. In our family, for example, we also teach from the beginning that it is private and between two married people who love each other very much, a special gift from God.

 

Cat

[Guest submarines]

I think this kind of thing - being so unaware of the facts of life - is actually a pretty recent thing, and it is a very wealthy Western thing. Which isn't to say it is bad, but I don't know that it is better.

 

A 150 years ago people were not only closer to the animal world, they often shared very small homes. If you think about something like the Little House books, and the homes they lived in, it is pretty clear there was not much privacy. It would have been hard for the kids to be totally unawre of the parents activities.

 

That is how it has been for most of human history and it is in much of the world today. The kind of privacy we take for granted is pretty unique. I am not inclined to think that being unaware of such things is really why they had a different attitude to sex.

 

:iagree:

[Free]

What i do NOT agree with is "unloading the whole bale of hay" in one sitting. Give them what they need to know at the moment...give them more later... Don't make a big deal out of it and they won't.

:iagree: I do not like the idea of sitting with the child and explaining everything about reproduction and sex when the child is not ready. My ds10 has started asking questions, just here and there, a bit by bit. It is easier this way on both parents and kids.

[Pamela H in Texas]

I don't know where the idea came from that, with regard to sex, you only tell kids when they ask. I tell my kids stuff ALL THE TIME that they don't ask: about how to cook spaghetti, who Copernicus was, why I was yelling at the TV about Penn State.

 

*THIS* is a good point :)

 

I *told* my kids about sex from day one. It's never been a hidden, deliberately or intetionally withheld topic. We've talked about sex, at developmentally appropriate levels, since they were born.

 

I think the question may be what exactly is developmentally appropriate, especially with certain children and their individuality.

 

For example, I think we may have disagreed along the way on what was developmentally appropriate for my first kids at 6, 8, 12, 15yrs old (we have known each other way too long :) ). And what is necessary and appropriate for my littles is certainly not developmentally appropriate for most preschool children.

 

And for the record, we were far from prude. We had fairly loose modesty, co-slept, breastfed, use anatomically correct words, discussed our infertility openly, did anatomy/physiology on a high level with an advanced child, dealt with precocious puberty, were open about our own indiscretions as young teens, had a cat that fathered kittens, etc. Additionally, our religion doesn't shy back from discussing marital relations, sex outside marriage, child abuse, etc as it is a safety issue for everyone. The only thing I probably would have done differently is gotten It's So Amazing sooner. Seriously.

Edited November 20, 2011 by 2J5M9K

[annandatje]

I think this kind of thing - being so unaware of the facts of life - is actually a pretty recent thing, and it is a very wealthy Western thing. Which isn't to say it is bad, but I don't know that it is better.

 

A 150 years ago people were not only closer to the animal world, they often shared very small homes. If you think about something like the Little House books, and the homes they lived in, it is pretty clear there was not much privacy. It would have been hard for the kids to be totally unawre of the parents activities.

 

That is how it has been for most of human history and it is in much of the world today. The kind of privacy we take for granted is pretty unique. I am not inclined to think that being unaware of such things is really why they had a different attitude to sex.

 

:iagree: Breastfeeding and sibling (or family) co-sleeping were common in that timeframe too, especially among ordinary and poor people. Now co-sleeping is considered outside the norm. Strange how culture changes over time.

[Joanne]

Yes, because it seems the norm here for parents to tell kids about the mechanics of intercourse at 4 or 5. :rolleyes: And they are definitely NOT doing it with a Biblical POV. I figured with being HS I could put it off a bit longer, but as she got older, I worried more and more about her hearing about it from some other kid. So at age 8, I went ahead and had "the talk".

 

I may be missing it, but is this sarcastic?

 

Are you assuming that discussing sex "early" = "definitely NOT doing it with a Biblical POV?"

 

Maybe it was sarcastic, but the medium doesn't convery it.

[golfcartmama]

Can you all point me to a book to help me? I can do the basic puberty stuff, general body changes, but not sure what to say on the s3x front. My parents never had to talk with me, so I'm not really sure what to say, I guess. I will look for the God's Design one too~

[*Lulu*]

I really believe that by 9 the basic bodily functions should be explained. Intercourse does not have to be included in that, but I always answer questions as they arise, and if learning how the parts function prompts questions that delve into that territory I would answer truthfully and simply.

 

We teach our children about sexual things in a myriad of ways, even when we are sheltering them. I have been teaching my kids since they were out of diapers that some parts are private and about what it means to be modest. IMO, those talks are the very first little steps of teaching them about their own sexuality and how it relates to society at large and our spiritual POV.