What do you let your 6-year-old do?

[musicianmom]

My oldest dd is starting to clamor for a little more freedom than playing with her siblings on our sidewalk under my watchful eye. What have you allowed your 6-year-olds to do?

 

We're in a safe neighborhood in a low-crime smallish town, but I don't know our neighbors super well (the curse of automatic garage door openers).

[LibraryLover]

Visit the homes of known friends, play in the nearby woods for a little while, on on the road in front of the house. Play in the yard for hours without me there, ride their bikes around the block, in front of the house etc.

 

I wouldn't leave a 6 year old in the home of people I did not know.

[PRTGSw2K]

Subbing b/c we're dealing with the same.

[AnnaM]

Back yard without me there. I live in a safe area but I am just not sure six is mature enough to be left outside alone without some sort of "protection". If there were an older sibbling, maybe.

[NorthwestMom]

I am on the more liberal side, and I let my 6yo run around the cul de sac with the neighbor kids unsupervised by any adult. She comes to get me when she needs me, and is not to go in anyone's house without asking first.

[cindergretta]

My children are only allowed to play in the backyard when I can't be outside with them.

[Old Dominion Heather]

My six-year-old plays outside alone, all down the street with his buddies. We live in a middle-size town, dead end street, low crime area. He plays out back alone, rides his scooter or bike on the street alone or with friends. The only rules I have for him are don't go past the last driveway on the street near the VERY busy road and don't go in the neighbor's backyards without permission. He is also not supposed to go where he can't hear me if I call.

 

He plays at the neighborhood playground with other kids without me for a few minutes, not for a super long time.

 

He and his brothers can walk the dogs around the block and over to the grounds of the old country club nearby.

 

He can make tea, light the gas stove with supervision, make sandwiches, toast stuff in the toaster oven, feed and water the dogs, run errands on the street, go in small stores alone and make purchases. And he mops and cleans bathrooms if I ask him! He is in a helpful phase and I am really hoping that it will last!

Edited November 8, 2011 by Old Dominion Heather

[LittleIzumi]

Backyard without me, just starting to let her ride her bike up & down just our street without supervision, but a limited number of times before she stops at home to check in. I would let her play out there more but the ADD keeps her from remembering things like looking both ways before running in the street too often. It's a very quiet street though.

[Julie Smith]

My eldest is 7, my youngest turns 6 next week.

 

I suppose my youngest could be allowed to do these things by himself. But my boys are always together playing outside.

 

We live in a nice neighborhood, but no other kids nearby. My boys do play in our yard, front and back. They are also allowed to go into one of our neighbors backyard. On the weekend they went into her back yard and racked her leafs and threw them over the fence into our yard. Supposedly we didn't have enough. :glare:

 

They can go to the corner store when I want something. They have to cross a busy street to get to it. But there is a cross walk with a stop light.

 

In the backyard they took scraps of wood and sawed them into small pieces and duct taped together. :confused:

 

During the summer as a group we biked all around the neighborhood. Both boys could easily go 20K+ a outing. So we mapped the area and 'discovered' over 30 play structures and other points of interest.

 

I will often go someplace with them then set myself up a place to sit and read, watch tv on my ipad... when they play.

 

When my eldest is jumpy we go for a family run and they run with me or Dad, or all of us about 3K to get the jumps out of my eldest.

 

When we go grocery shopping my youngest takes off to the baker section to talk to the clerks and get his free cookie.

 

He use to walk to Piano lessons by himself. But that was literally next door.

[In2why]

At 5/6 they can go anywhere on our street as long as they ask me first. The two youngest can go to the neighborhood park and other friends as long as they ask first and use the buddy system. They have to go and come back together.

 

We live in a small town, and a great neighborhood. Our street is a dead end and even the teens on our street are careful of the kids.

[Cera]

My 7 year old is aloud to be out in our yard alone (suburbs of a medium city, toward the back of a subdivision but not on a cul de sac). If she is out with friends she is aloud to ride her bike around the block and go back and forth between houses on our street as long as she tells me in advance where she is going. (I feel safer with the buddy system)

[twoforjoy]

I live in a relatively safe neighborhood in a not-very-safe city.

 

By the time DS was 6, he was allowed to ride his bike up and down the street by himself (no turning corners), to play in the yard alone, to play in the yard or on the sidewalk in front of the house with friends his age or older, to walk by himself to a friend's house who lived around the corner (we had one yard separating our yard from theirs, so he was expected to go to their yard when he got there and give me a wave, and call me before he left to come home), and to walk around the block or to friends' houses a block or two away with his best friend who is four years older than he is and very responsible.

 

Now, he's allowed to ride his bike alone around the block if I'm outside in the yard or on the porch, and he can travel around the block with same-age or older friends whenever he wants. I'm still nervous about him crossing streets without a responsible friend, because our neighborhood is between two major streets, and sometimes people drive way too fast or fly through the stop signs, so that limits how far he can go quite a bit. I've told him that when he's 8 I'll revisit the street-crossing issue, but honestly I think he'll still be a bit too impulsive and oblivious for me to feel comfortable with him crossing streets alone at 8. Maybe 9 or 10. ;)

Edited November 8, 2011 by twoforjoy

[Pamela H in Texas]

My girl will be 6 in December. She can play anywhere on our side of the street from sidewalk to house (assuming it is our house or a friend's house; she can't play in the yard/driveway of just anyone). There are only 8 houses (on small subdivision lots) on our street though.

 

(odd fact: There are FOUR Kindergarteners on our street; three of them are in the same class of 13 students!)

 

I know our landlord's daughter is slightly older (but had been here a couple years) and she was allowed to play anywhere on our street or in the connecting col-de-sac. That seems reasonable if I knew the families in the col-de-sac.

 

BTW, my fd's classmates have WAY more freedom than she does. I simply cannot imagine. Maybe if she had an older sibling she was running around with?

[Halcyon]

my boy turned 6 last summer. He is a small boy, looks more like 5, so I do have some concerns that neighbours would think I am letting a 5 year old play outside alone. Anyway, he is allowed to play outside in our gated community (nominally gated LOL) and wander around WITH his older brother, as long as they tell me where they are going. Younger, however, is not much of a wanderer, or an outdoor guy. He'd rather be inside reading or drawing, so we haven't had much to worry about.

 

Now, if we were still in Manhattan......:lol:

[jar7709]

My 6.5yo DS is allowed in the woods and trails behind our house (rural area) by himself. Starting to let 5yo DD go with him as long as they stay together. They are not allowed unattended on the street, which is a busy arterial with no sidewalks. If either of our neighbors had kids his age, he'd be allowed to go over there through the trails to play. As it is though, those families have teenagers (nice ones, they ride by on their horses all the time) so he has no interest. I think giving kids appropriate levels of autonomy is really important and have fond memories of playing with my sis in the woods at their age.

[Mommy22alyns]

Sylvia can play in the backyard with her sister (not alone) and she goes down to the end of the driveway to pick up the advertising paper.

[missiemick]

Back yard and that's it. I don't even let my 10 year old out of my sight.

[Melissa B]

Ds 6 is allowed less freedom than any of his sisters were at the same age. He simply isn't as responsible or cautious. We live on the water which is also a consideration.

 

He is allowed to play in the backyard (non-water side) with only dd 8. He can play anywhere in the neighborhood as long as he is with one of his older sisters. My big concession this year was that he can fish alone on our dock so long as he notifies me first, wears his life jacket and leaves the screen door open so I can hear him. It still causes me some stress, but he loves to fish and no one has the time or inclination to fish with him every day, and he can swim.

[Jen in PA]

DS can play in the yard alone, which often means he is out of sight if he heads for the wooded area, but he is always within earshot of me calling from the house. I try to check on him every half hour or so. He can play in the yards of neighbor children (the equivalent of a one block radius), but I don't usually let him go into their houses unless DD goes with him. He walks to the post office for me, which is also about a block away. He plays at the edge of the woods, but not really in them because we are near a very steep drop. We live in a small village.

[hollyh]

My dd is almost 5, but I'm having a mini-heart attack at the idea of letting her have that much freedom at 6! Backyard only over here - we are in an urban, but relatively safe, city... but don't think I would let her out of my sight until she was probably 10-12! Eek.. I must be overly protective...

[CLBMom]

I used to be much more liberal with my kids freedom till last month. All 3 kids ds10, dd7, ds 4 were playing in my moms front yard. She lives in a "safe" neighborhood, been there 20 years no problems. Anyway kids playing alone in front yard when strange man parks across the street and stands by his car. Ds10 took notice and started watching him. A few min later man started trying to talk to dd7 and get her to come to his car. Thank God they remembered what they had been taught and she screamed NO! and ds10 yelled RUN! While grabbing his little brother. I'm all for giving kids space but please remember safe neighborhoods don't mean much. People that prey on kids know where to go to find them. Sick but true. Please teach your kids and remember safety in groups.....

[Chris in VA]

I remember letting my then-4yo dd take a nap outside in the backyard on the top "floor" of her play structure. By herself. I checked out the window every 5 minutes or so.

 

I was nuts at the time.

 

But she still remembers it, and it is a good memory!

 

I'd say backyard if you live in a good neighborhood, or outside in front if they are responsible, don't go into other houses, there's not a ton of traffic, and they are with friends-- as long as it is only one yard or so away, and you can see them out the window (but I wouldn't watch every second).

[clarkacademy]

We live in the country now so she can go outside around the house alone, that is about it. She can't check the mail alone. If she walks to my parents across the HUGE yard she is watched from my porch and theirs. We live on a pretty long road there is not many houses she is allowed to ride her bike with one of her siblings never alone. When we lived in the city she didn't so much as stand on the porch by herself or my other kids for that matter.

 

My 14 year old was raised basically the same maybe a bit more protective. I don't care what anyone says, I don't care how anyone else treats their kid, these are mine and no chance will ever be given that they may come to harm. People told me my oldest would be paranoid she is totally opposite. I ran the streets as a child and even my mom says it was the worse mistake she ever made.

 

You cannot trust anyone with the welfare of your children. I don't care about statistics I just know I won't end up as one. I would rather be accused of being the over protective mother than the one begging the media to please help me find my child.

[Celia]

We're in a small city in a good residential neighbourhood, and it's not been until my ds has turned 7 that's I've let him ride his bike on the street in front of our house without me being out there too. For some freedom before that, he was allowed to climb the tree in the front yard and be the watchdog! The kids also found it pretty special if I'd let them get out of the car a few blocks from home, and let them walk. I'd drive a bit behind them, watching them.

[higginszoo]

I've just started to let my 6 1/2 year old go 2 doors down to her best friend's house or 3-4 doors down and across the street to another friend's house. She plays in our yard unsupervised, but can't go to the park by herself (no streets to cross, but our neighborhood park is attached to a large city park, and I can never be sure who is out there -- there is always a neighbor or two out front, so no suspicious person would go unreported).

[Farrar]

My boys are 7 now, but by the end of the year they were 6, these are all things I allowed...

 

I let them go to the corner park (no street crossings involved) alone (or, rather, just with each other). I let them walk around the block alone. I let them play in the front or the back alone. I let them answer the door if dh or I are up and about. I let them stay home without me while dh sleeps (he works nights). I let them go to the toy section in the Target while I get other stuff and meet them up there or look for the stuffed animal in the Trader Joe's while I did the shopping. I let them go to their Sunday School class alone after the children's sermon. I let them go on a short, well-known to them hike (little nature walk) with just each other. I let them have their own email accounts for emailing grandparents. I let them routinely leave my sight in places such as the pumpkin festival, the big regional playground, the state park, and so forth.

 

ETA: In exchange for this freedom, there were expectations that they had to live up to, such as acting responsibly when they were out and about, and things they had to prove to me they knew, such as what to do in emergencies and what my cell phone number is. I try to make them demonstrate that they can speak clearly to adults as well, since in an emergency, I think that's one of the most valuable skills you can have.

Edited November 8, 2011 by farrarwilliams

[lincap]

DS will be 6 next Monday. I allow him outside in the backyard alone or with his 3.5 yr old brother while I am washing dishes or doing kitchen work, where I can look out the window and watch them. I always leave the windows open (no matter how cold!) so I can hear them. My neighbor is often outside too doing yardwork and chatting with the boys looking at their "finds" (worms rocks etc)..

 

Actually I think my kids run into me every 3-5 min to show me something!

[Mommee & Baba]

I seem to be very uptight and protective.

 

My dd6 and dd8 are allowed to play outside in the fenced in backyard without me outside, but I'm watching from the large kitchen bay window here and there.

 

They are NOT allowed to play out front unless I'm outside with them.

 

They don't walk the streets and aren't allowed to go to anyone else's home without me. We do have a neighbor girl that comes over to play and they can go play at her house occasionally. Otherwise my kids are to be close to myself or dh most of the time.

 

The most freedom my dc get are when they are at Church on Sunday's.

 

Now if I do for a crazy chance tell them they can do something out of the normal, they both tell me they don't want to do that because it's scary and uncomfortable for them. Because all they've known is to be near us. They both say that they feel like we'll protect them and they don't want to do something that would cause us to not see them or be able to get to them quickly.

 

My neighbor is in her 50's and is a grandma to the kids. She doesn't have any kids of her own and she thinks more parents should be protective like we are BUT then in the same sentence she'll ask me why my kids aren't allow to play in the woods behind our house! I think when my 6 year old is 8, I will allow more freedom like that. But for now the backyard is all they get.

[Mommee & Baba]

DS will be 6 next Monday. I allow him outside in the backyard alone or with his 3.5 yr old brother while I am washing dishes or doing kitchen work, where I can look out the window and watch them. I always leave the windows open (no matter how cold!) so I can hear them. My neighbor is often outside too doing yardwork and chatting with the boys looking at their "finds" (worms rocks etc)..

 

Actually I think my kids run into me every 3-5 min to show me something!

 

My kids will play outside with their 2.5 yr old brother as I'm watching from the bay window in the kitchen...and they all will be chatting with my neighbor who enjoys listening to what they have explored in the great big backyard...hehe