mom31257 Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 ...you saw something concerning your best friend's teen daughter that your friend would not approve of? My daughter listens to Pandora and follows her friend who is my best friends daugther. I was curious what she listens to and I saw lots of songs rated "explicit". Should I tell my friend (the mother)? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starr Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 Oh brother, good luck. If it's your best friend maybe it would work to have a discussion, a casual friend not so much. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 If it were my best friend she would want to know. You'll have to decide if your best friend would want to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Plucky Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 No, I wouldn't. I do share information with a parent when I think it is important - like smoking, drugs, dating a sex offender, etc. Sigh. Sometimes teens have a lot more going on than just surface issues. We can't really know what is going on in a family behind the scenes. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farrar Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) For something that mild, I wouldn't go there. But I thought I'd add that I don't think Pandora filters content much. I have a They Might Be Giants station I listen to with the kids in the car all the time and it one day suddenly came up with a song that was just the F-word repeated over and over. No joke. I'm the sort of person who finds that funny (I just thumbs downed it and skipped it then laughed about it later with friends - including the mom friend whose kids I had in the car with me at the time). ETA: I was curious, so I looked it up, apparently you can get Pandora to filter things marked explicit, but it won't filter things not marked or things with innuendo. There are also parental controls. I had no idea.: http://blog.pandora.com/faq/contents/541.html Edited October 18, 2011 by farrarwilliams Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted October 18, 2011 Share Posted October 18, 2011 If it was a good friend, then I would just tell her. If it was an acquaintance, I would tell her, "Did you know that you can 'follow' someone's Pandora choices? I've found it helpful to see what my daughter is listening to from time to time." If what her daughter listens to is that important to her, she could then follow up on her own. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joanne Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 No, I would not say (or even assume) anything. I believe in allowing a wide array of music, though, and age-approprioate autonomy for teens. That certainly shapes my response. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margo out of lurking Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 ...you saw something concerning your best friend's teen daughter that your friend would not approve of? My daughter listens to Pandora and follows her friend who is my best friends daugther. I was curious what she listens to and I saw lots of songs rated "explicit". Should I tell my friend (the mother)? I'd want to know if it were my dd. I wouldn't want you to follow up with me though and ask further about it. If my dd were 14, I would definitely have issues with it. My dd is 17, and while I would still like to know and possibly discuss, I wouldn't "make" her do anything. I think the comment about "did you know you can follow" is a great way to introduce the subject and let the mom find out for herself. It might be a way to go, depending on your comfort level. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 That is not the kind of thing I would mention. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mimmy Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I wouldn't say anything. There are plenty of things I would speak up about, but not this. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jen in PA Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I wouldn't say anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nakia Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 No. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JulieH Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I would not say anything. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trailofsparks Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 That is not the kind of thing I would mention. :iagree: That would be a good way to erode a friendship. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Annie Anne Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 My son's friend's gave him an mp3 player with stuff I had to cauterize off of it. His mother is not my best friend. I did not tell, but only because I figured she knew. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
regentrude Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 No, I would not say anything. I would say something if the teen was engaging in dangerous behavior, but not about their choice of music. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Virg Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I would want my friend to tell me. We do not allow explicit music in our house at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
abbeyej Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 Does Pandora work like iTunes? On iTunes, if a *single* song on an album has a lyric that qualifies as "explicit" *every* song on the album qualifies -- even ones that are perfectly acceptable by almost anyone. It's also sometimes surprising to me what counts as "explicit" and what does not. (For instance, a single word might automatically get a song rated "explicit" whereas a song with much more disturbing theme or message but more acceptable individual words would not qualify.) I have songs from Broadway musicals on my iTunes that have that little "explicit" pop up next to them. For a very good friend, I guess you *might* bring it up. I doubt it would win you many points with either mom *or* daughter though, and unless I knew the *specific* songs in the list and considered them offensive (and/or knew that my friend would absolutely consider them so), I wouldn't say anything. Now, if I knew that my friend was *specifically* concerned about the music her dd was listening to, I suppose I could slip into a conversation, "Have you ever considered checking out her Pandora playlist?" Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 I'm not sure how Pandora works, but I know that I'd want to know if my children were possibly listening to something explicit. My girls are still young, but that will be a big no-no in our home. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
annandatje Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 ...you saw something concerning your best friend's teen daughter that your friend would not approve of? My daughter listens to Pandora and follows her friend who is my best friends daugther. I was curious what she listens to and I saw lots of songs rated "explicit". Should I tell my friend (the mother)? No. This is not a situation where the teen is in imminent danger. It is a matter of taste (or lack of) in entertainment. Let it be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aggieamy Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 This - No, I would not say (or even assume) anything. I believe in allowing a wide array of music, though, and age-approprioate autonomy for teens. That certainly shapes my response. and this - No, I would not say anything.I would say something if the teen was engaging in dangerous behavior, but not about their choice of music. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aggie Posted October 19, 2011 Share Posted October 19, 2011 If it was a good friend, then I would just tell her. If it was an acquaintance, I would tell her, "Did you know that you can 'follow' someone's Pandora choices? I've found it helpful to see what my daughter is listening to from time to time." If what her daughter listens to is that important to her, she could then follow up on her own. This is exactly what I'd do because I would want to know. And my best friend would know that I would want to know. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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