Jamauk Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 We were at a birthday party for a friend and I was talking to another mom (that I've met a few times through a mutual friend). It came up that we homeschool and she asked "Oh, that is so fascinating! But I wonder ~ how do you switch from mother to teacher? How do you get your children to do as you ask?" I sort of looked at her like this: :001_unsure: Once I collected myself I told her that it's the same as when I ask them to pick up their toys. They just, um, do it. She replied, "Well, I never tell my daughter 'no' and I'm not firm with her in discipline, so I'm not sure I'd actually be able to teach her. I wouldn't have any credibility as a teacher." This time it was more like this: :001_huh: I wasn't sure what to say. I just nodded and smiled and excused myself. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
momma2three Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Can you tell me how to get my kids to pick up their toys just by asking? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 Well, at least she knows where's she going wrong... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 We were at a birthday party for a friend and I was talking to another mom (that I've met a few times through a mutual friend). It came up that we homeschool and she asked "Oh, that is so fascinating! But I wonder ~ how do you switch from mother to teacher? How do you get your children to do as you ask?" I sort of looked at her like this: :001_unsure: Once I collected myself I told her that it's the same as when I ask them to pick up their toys. They just, um, do it. She replied, "Well, I never tell my daughter 'no' and I'm not firm with her in discipline, so I'm not sure I'd actually be able to teach her. I wouldn't have any credibility as a teacher." This time it was more like this: :001_huh: I wasn't sure what to say. I just nodded and smiled and excused myself. I hate to say it but as her child gets older, I doubt she's going to have any credibility as a mother either. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
helena Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 I've heard this too... there's not much you can say after that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 I hate to say it but as her child gets older, I doubt she's going to have any credibility as a mother either. That's what I'm thinking. :glare: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spryte Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 I heard that one too, from a teacher. Left me wondering... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dustybug Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 I have had similar conversations before, some with a close friend. I just don't understand the "I can't tell my kid what to do" mentality. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ria Posted September 19, 2011 Share Posted September 19, 2011 We were at a birthday party for a friend and I was talking to another mom (that I've met a few times through a mutual friend). It came up that we homeschool and she asked "Oh, that is so fascinating! But I wonder ~ how do you switch from mother to teacher? How do you get your children to do as you ask?" I sort of looked at her like this: :001_unsure: Once I collected myself I told her that it's the same as when I ask them to pick up their toys. They just, um, do it. She replied, "Well, I never tell my daughter 'no' and I'm not firm with her in discipline, so I'm not sure I'd actually be able to teach her. I wouldn't have any credibility as a teacher." This time it was more like this: :001_huh: I wasn't sure what to say. I just nodded and smiled and excused myself. This is one of those people who shouldn't be homeschooling. Of course, one could also make the case that this particular person should never have bred, but I digress.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
twoxcell Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I have heard that many times before and it always baffles me. Aren't all parents teachers to their children? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcconnellboys Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 LOL, I sometimes think I must be Nazi-mom. I have never been able to figure out how it is that people think their children will not do their work. I can't imagine mine not doing their work (or their household chores, etc.).... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Parrothead Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Never tells her daughter "no?" Wow! That is going to get expensive pretty darn quick. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grover Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Well, at least she knows where's she going wrong... :iagree:and I'm really glad I don't have to live with or teach that child. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hedgehog Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Never tells her daughter "no?" Wow! That is going to get expensive pretty darn quick. Indeed!! I once had the idea that I would never say "no" to my kids... which went out of the window pretty quick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Yep, I've heard that before. There's not much you can say other than agree that you do have to establish authority and boundaries with your child both as a parent and a teacher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jennifer3141 Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 This is one of those people who shouldn't be homeschooling. Of course, one could also make the case that this particular person should never have bred, but I digress.... Ah yes. My friend and I call them, "Reptile Moms" because they apparently believe that children pop outta there fully knowing what they can/should/should not/etc. do, just like baby snakes. There are the people who do not seem to get the differences between mamalls and reptiles. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamauk Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Can you tell me how to get my kids to pick up their toys just by asking? Stand two inches behind them and ask repeatedly?:lol: (as I'm typing this my boys are in the next room fighting over who played with the one Lego left on the floor last, and who should have to pick it up and put it away) :tongue_smilie: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bluechicken Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I get that all the time, especially since it is becoming quite public that we are homeschooling. "My kids won't listen to me, you are so lucky" is at the top of the list of most common things other mothers say to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Never tells her daughter "no?" Wow! That is going to get expensive pretty darn quick. *snort* Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daisy Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I think that mother's child is in my husband's first grade class this year. The kids screams at the top of his lungs whenever he doesn't get his way. My husband replies with, "You have 10 seconds to stop the screaming or you are going to lose your recess. 10, 9, 8, 7..." It is always lovely for the teachers when parents let their children act like wild animals. I imagine until the child learns that screaming isn't going to work with my husband all the other kids in the class are wishing their parents homeschooled. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamauk Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Never tells her daughter "no?" Wow! That is going to get expensive pretty darn quick. She is a very crunchy, earthy sort of mom that is very into "attachment" parenting. She believes that she can reason with her daughter and get her to understand why certain things aren't a good idea. ie: "The pony is so expensive and we have such a small yard, I guess it was foolish of me to even ask Mommy for one in the first place".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 This is one of those people who shouldn't be homeschooling. Of course, one could also make the case that this particular person should never have bred, but I digress.... Amen to that! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sassenach Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I think that mother's child is in my husband's first grade class this year. The kids screams at the top of his lungs whenever he doesn't get his way. My husband replies with, "You have 10 seconds to stop the screaming or you are going to lose your recess. 10, 9, 8, 7..." It is always lovely for the teachers when parents let their children act like wild animals. I imagine until the child learns that screaming isn't going to work with my husband all the other kids in the class are wishing their parents homeschooled. And this is how I know that I am not some narscisistic underachiever who really just wants to be a school teacher, but forces her kids to stay home and play school instead. Bless your husband. You couldn't pay me enough to do that job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SKL Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Yes . . . my stepniece was telling us that she had baked some pastries to bring over the night before, but her kids had woken before her and eaten them all. Some excuse about how she had not actually told them not to eat them, as they got baked after bedtime. To which I said, perhaps next time you could leave a note that they will see when they wake up. She answered, "oh, they would ignore the note and eat them anyway." [shrug] And something posessed me to say, "well, I believe in corporate punishment. My kids would not pull that twice." It was then spread around that I had said her kids were spoiled rotten brats. Well . . . . Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HS Mom in NC Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 She is a very crunchy, earthy sort of mom that is very into "attachment" parenting. She believes that she can reason with her daughter and get her to understand why certain things aren't a good idea. ie: "The pony is so expensive and we have such a small yard, I guess it was foolish of me to even ask Mommy for one in the first place".... Sorry, but I attachment parent and I tell my kids, "no" all the time. Some attachment parents give other attachment parents a bad name. Don't be fooled by their nonsense. At my house my children are expected children obey the first time without arguing or complaining or there are consequences starting around age 2. I still co-slept until they were school aged, nursed on demand until toddlerhood, then I nursed on my convenience until they weaned themselves or turned 5 years old, I wore them in a sling until they were about 2 most of the day and then wore them part time, etc. Crying for legitimate things (being scared, hurt, confused, etc.) was tended to immediately. Crying for illegitimate things like being picky, demanding, unreasonable, disobedient, etc. got immediate consequences. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jamauk Posted September 20, 2011 Author Share Posted September 20, 2011 Sorry, but I attachment parent and I tell my kids, "no" all the time. Some attachment parents give other attachment parents a bad name. Don't be fooled by their nonsense. At my house my children are expected children obey the first time without arguing or complaining or there are consequences starting around age 2. I still co-slept until they were school aged, nursed on demand until toddlerhood, then I nursed on my convenience until they weaned themselves or turned 5 years old, I wore them in a sling until they were about 2 most of the day and then wore them part time, etc. Crying for legitimate things (being scared, hurt, confused, etc.) was tended to immediately. Crying for illegitimate things like being picky, demanding, unreasonable, disobedient, etc. got immediate consequences. I did not mean to offend you or the idea of attachment partenting. I should have qualified my statement with "this is her idea of attachment parenting" She was very concerned with not ever causing her daughter any disappointment or grief or any other type of emotional discomfort. In her world ~ that is what attachment parenting is all about (we had a few conversations about this during prior meetings) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest AZHomeschoolMom Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Jamauk: I loved your post and use of smiley's to explain your reactions. I've had similar reactions to silly questions like, "How do you know what to teach? Do your kids tell you what their friends are learning in school and then you try to make-up the lessons?" I'd really like to have a zinger of a reply to those questions, but I normally just kindly explain that there is a lot of curriculum that you can purchase. I'm amazed that so many people believe a stranger in a brick-and-mortar building marked "school" is the only person that would know how to teach our children. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iamrachelle Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 This is one of those people who shouldn't be homeschooling. Of course, one could also make the case that this particular person should never have bred, but I digress.... :lol::lol::lol: That is awesome. You gave me my giggle for the evening. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hockey Mom Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I did not mean to offend you or the idea of attachment partenting. I should have qualified my statement with "this is her idea of attachment parenting" She was very concerned with not ever causing her daughter any disappointment or grief or any other type of emotional discomfort. In her world ~ that is what attachment parenting is all about (we had a few conversations about this during prior meetings) Wow. Way to set your kid up for a lifetime of Prozac. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Food4Thought Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I think that's the most common question I've been asked, and it's almost always by teachers! It's amazing. I've had two teachers tell me that they would never be able to teach their own kids. :confused: I know there has to be something to this mentality, but I don't understand it at all. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kirch Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 Wow. Way to set your kid up for a lifetime of Prozac. Seriously! I mean, she *does* know that the rest of the world isn't going to treat her child with kid gloves, right? :001_huh: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Barb B Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I have actually had that very same comment. I don't remember if I said anything. Later I thought I should have said that every mother is a teacher weather they homeschool or not. Barb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FaithManor Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 This is one of those people who shouldn't be homeschooling. Of course, one could also make the case that this particular person should never have bred, but I digress.... :lol::lol::lol: Some people do take their procreative powers too lightly! :001_smile: Faith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lizzie in Ma Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I hate to say it but as her child gets older, I doubt she's going to have any credibility as a mother either. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teachin'Mine Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 I think that mother's child is in my husband's first grade class this year. The kids screams at the top of his lungs whenever he doesn't get his way. My husband replies with, "You have 10 seconds to stop the screaming or you are going to lose your recess. 10, 9, 8, 7..." It is always lovely for the teachers when parents let their children act like wild animals. I imagine until the child learns that screaming isn't going to work with my husband all the other kids in the class are wishing their parents homeschooled. Yup! That's what got us homeschooling! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frontier Mom Posted September 20, 2011 Share Posted September 20, 2011 This is probably the #1 thing people tell me as to why they don't homeschool. They believe their children will not respect and obey them so they would learn nothing. I think this comes from two fronts. One is that the public school system has convinced parents that they and they alone are able to teach their children. Leave it up to the professionals and the world will be a much better place. Well, I've seen the village and I am willing to take my chances that this non-professionally trained as a teacher Mom can do a better job, at least morally. Many are completely stunned that they would be able to teach their children. The other front is that parents have bought their children's obedience to the point that they don't really like being with them anymore. Many parents ask me how I can stand to be with my dcs all day? I am shocked but I think this is just a mirror of the lack of true discipline some children are growing up in and who knows what their future will entail. I really feel sorry for them in that these parents leave all the discipline up to hired teachers, coaches and principals instead of believing it is their role. Of course, this is just my $.02 but I do here this very often. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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