People...I am actively panicking about money. What to do?

[Doran]

Advance apologies for thinking this through "aloud" -- which caused this to get very long. Par for the course for me. Hope some of you can tolerate reading all the way through this thing.

 

Since April of 2007 until probably the beginning of May 2008, we have been spending more than we have been making. I honestly hadn't really grasped this until very recently when my dh was paying bills and commented that we were really going to have to get our spending under control. He is not one to mention money very often, never questions if I say I want to buy something out of the ordinary (which I don't do often or unwisely, I might add), so I guess he'd just been sort of riding with "it" for many months.

 

From the time our children were born, we lived rent free in exchange for my labor at the farm. I also earned some money from the farm sales (a good percentage went back to the farm), and I was paid to be market manager as well. I left that position of my own accord last April. So, I now no longer have that income, we are paying rent, and my small income as a writer does not even fully cover that, though it comes close. Our utilities are high, and gas prices are blowing me away. I just took my dd to the community pool and wrote a check for a summer family membership. While I was out, I filled up my tank with gas and spent $46.00. In combination with the pool membership, I dropped close to $200 in an hour. I realize that's a unique example, but GEEZ!!

 

Much to my chagrin, I have begun trying to cut food costs. I have gone back to buying fewer organic products, including dairy, and I am trying to pay more attention to options in that vein without totally letting go of our convictions to eat "good" food. We have not yet signed the kids up for any camps this summer, but had hoped to enroll our youngest in a gymnastics class and, possibly in a theater camp if we qualified for some scholarship funding. Dh is hoping he'll be able to bring a bit more money home from his business soon, but we all know how that goes. I'm wondering if the kid activities we had in mind should get dumped, and that makes me sad for the kids. I planted a garden hoping to save a little food money that way and be darned if the plants aren't really struggling due to our long bout of cold, wet weather. They look pitiful, and they seem to be metaphor I'm wishing wasn't staring me in the face every time I walk outside. :glare:

 

So, I'm here pondering what to do next. I'm regretting the past year and my "idleness" of a sort, even though I don't really feel that I've been idle. Not having to work as much as when I was farming and just being able to focus on homeschooling the kids has felt SO incredible, so much more sane, better for me, and more fulfilling. But, now I'm feeling like I've kind of blown it, and that I'm going to have to work twice as hard to make up for the money I didn't earn in the past year. I'm also wrestling with what to do about making money.

 

In the past month, I had FINALLY begun to feel a shift, some inspiration, and felt I was - at last - beginning to understand what it is I want to do with my career. I was very happy about that. I've made some contacts and had some valuable conversations, I've started to hone in on what I feel would be a good use of my skills and interests (passions), and I'm connecting the dots in ways that are exciting. But, it's going to take some time to get those ideas off the ground, possibly as long as next spring. It's also going to take energy. I'm feeling like I need to just Get. A. Job. (which, btw, is precisely what I had hoped to NOT do when we moved from the farm) in order to help supplement our dwindling savings account, but if I do that, where will the time and energy to cultivate the other ideas come from? Granted, we have not yet racked up a bunch of personal debt, which is fine. But, at this rate, that will be the next thing to happen, and I'm not sure we should wait for me to get it all figured out, kwim?

 

I don't honestly think there is that much we can do curb our spending, but I'm also hoping I'm wrong about that. We already live fairly frugally, with the exception of eating out too often, so we have all but stopped doing that now.

 

So, what am I asking?

 

I guess I'm asking how to decide when to say when. Do we just set an arbitrary but realistic deadline and agree that if my new venture isn't making X by that date, I supplement with another job? Do we allow ourselves to go into debt for "the cause"? Do we drop our convictions about eating locally and organically for awhile in order to save money? Do we find other ways to enrich the kids' lives (after all, there's the pool now :001_unsure:) and drop the ideas for summer activities? Do I try to establish my new thing while also adding other employment (I do already have one part time job of about 15 hours month)?

 

When you have to curb your spending and/or increase your earnings, what exactly do you do? Early on in our marriage, I was so good at this. Now, 17 years later, it seems hard - perhaps because it feels as if we're going backwards.

 

I'd sure appreciate some advice and support from you folks.

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I've never really considered going to work yet, we just keep cutting back, food costs and summer activities are being cut back this year. The fact that you have the pool membership is great, we got season tickets to a local theme park. Other than that we will be trying to do more simple/cheap activities. Yes, I feel sad for my kids.

 

Don't give up on the garden yet. :-)

[chiguirre]

If I was in your place, I'd look for a part-time job at least for the summer while your hsing load is lighter. You can build up some reserves to carry you through until you can get your project up and running.

[Pegasus]

A lot of families are really feeling the pinch. Only you and your DH can decide where your priorities are and make the decisions that are right for your family.

 

If you've been spending more than you are making but still not incurring personal debt, are you depleting savings? If so, you need to look at how much savings you have left. Obviously, if you have a lot in savings, you can continue "leaking" money until the savings drops below your comfort zone.

 

If it were me, I'd stop buying local/organic food and cut the grocery bill. I'd take the kids swimming this summer since you've already paid for it, and I'd plan other low cost activities for them (no expensive camps or lessons).

 

High rent/mortgage and car payments are often what make it tough for families to make ends meet. If this is the case for your family, can you find a cheaper place to rent, make do with one car?

 

We are having to make similar cutbacks. I wish you all the best!

 

Pegasus

[Pam "SFSOM" in TN]

 

I'd sure appreciate some advise and support from you folks.

 

For the summer, all you need is the pool. No guilt. My goodness, your kids will surely understand that not every kid even gets the pool! Really. Again, NO GUILT.

 

Any way you can make point A and point B come a little closer a little faster?

 

We're going into debt in order to make a different future, but I am NOT comfortable with this. And I found out last night that what I assumed about provisions for me should anything happen to dh are... well, they are not even close to what I assumed they were. And so today, I am quietly Freaking Out.

 

Don't do debt. Find something -- anything -- that can give you the bit of extra income you need until the New Enterprise kicks in. It may not nourish your soul in and of itself, but not accumulating debt can be a soul nourisher, IMO. Let that knowledge energize you for the journey.

 

Back when we ate out only rarely, we made a point to invite people over. It was not as expensive as a restaurant meal for only us, and it fulfilled some of our social eating needs.

 

Hang in there, babe.

[Heather in the Kootenays]

From the library of course. :)

 

Your Money or Your Life talks about attitudes towards money and helps give a framework for handling money and strategies to change. It suggests recording everything you spend for a period to help you understand where you money goes, and goes into how much it actually costs to work.

 

I try to reread it every year and inevitably have to buy a new one because I've given the old one away.

[CalicoKat]

Advance apologies for thinking this through "aloud" -- which caused this to get very long. Par for the course for me. Hope some of you can tolerate reading all the way through this thing.

 

Since April of 2007 until probably the beginning of May 2008, we have been spending more than we have been making. I honestly hadn't really grasped this until very recently when my dh was paying bills and commented that we were really going to have to get our spending under control. He is not one to mention money very often, never questions if I say I want to buy something out of the ordinary (which I don't do often or unwisely, I might add), so I guess he'd just been sort of riding with "it" for many months.

 

From the time our children were born, we lived rent free in exchange for my labor at the farm. I also earned some money from the farm sales (a good percentage went back to the farm), and I was paid to be market manager as well. I left that position of my own accord last April. So, I now no longer have that income, we are paying rent, and my small income as a writer does not even fully cover that, though it comes close. Our utilities are high, and gas prices are blowing me away. I just took my dd to the community pool and wrote a check for a summer family membership. While I was out, I filled up my tank with gas and spent $46.00. In combination with the pool membership, I dropped close to $200 in an hour. I realize that's a unique example, but GEEZ!!

 

Much to my chagrin, I have begun trying to cut food costs. I have gone back to buying fewer organic products, including dairy, and I am trying to pay more attention to options in that vein without totally letting go of our convictions to eat "good" food. We have not yet signed the kids up for any camps this summer, but had hoped to enroll our youngest in a gymnastics class and, possibly in a theater camp if we qualified for some scholarship funding. Dh is hoping he'll be able to bring a bit more money home from his business soon, but we all know how that goes. I'm wondering if the kid activities we had in mind should get dumped, and that makes me sad for the kids. I planted a garden hoping to save a little food money that way and be darned if the plants aren't really struggling due to our long bout of cold, wet weather. They look pitiful, and they seem to be metaphor I'm wishing wasn't staring me in the face every time I walk outside. :glare:

 

So, I'm here pondering what to do next. I'm regretting the past year and my "idleness" of a sort, even though I don't really feel that I've been idle. Not having to work as much as when I was farming and just being able to focus on homeschooling the kids has felt SO incredible, so much more sane, better for me, and more fulfilling. But, now I'm feeling like I've kind of blown it, and that I'm going to have to work twice as hard to make up for the money I didn't earn in the past year. I'm also wrestling with what to do about making money.

 

In the past month, I had FINALLY begun to feel a shift, some inspiration, and felt I was - at last - beginning to understand what it is I want to do with my career. I was very happy about that. I've made some contacts and had some valuable conversations, I've started to hone in on what I feel would be a good use of my skills and interests (passions), and I'm connecting the dots in ways that are exciting. But, it's going to take some time to get those ideas off the ground, possibly as long as next spring. It's also going to take energy. I'm feeling like I need to just Get. A. Job. (which, btw, is precisely what I had hoped to NOT do when we moved from the farm) in order to help supplement our dwindling savings account, but if I do that, where will the time and energy to cultivate the other ideas come from? Granted, we have not yet racked up a bunch of personal debt, which is fine. But, at this rate, that will be the next thing to happen, and I'm not sure we should wait for me to get it all figured out, kwim?

 

I don't honestly think there is that much we can do curb our spending, but I'm also hoping I'm wrong about that. We already live fairly frugally, with the exception of eating out too often, so we have all but stopped doing that now.

 

So, what am I asking?

 

I guess I'm asking how to decide when to say when. Do we just set an arbitrary but realistic deadline and agree that if my new venture isn't making X by that date, I supplement with another job? Do we allow ourselves to go into debt for "the cause"? Do we drop our convictions about eating locally and organically for awhile in order to save money? Do we find other ways to enrich the kids' lives (after all, there's the pool now :001_unsure:) and drop the ideas for summer activities? Do I try to establish my new thing while also adding other employment (I do already have one part time job of about 15 hours month)?

 

When you have to curb your spending and/or increase your earnings, what exactly do you do? Early on in our marriage, I was so good at this. Now, 17 years later, it seems hard - perhaps because it feels as if we're going backwards.

 

I'd sure appreciate some advise and support from you folks.

 

What does your husband think?

 

 

Personally we've decided that rising gas costs have to be addressed in our budget. We can cut down on how much the kids and I drive the "hog" around. And the cost of dh's commute is predictable.

 

Kids summer activities are enrichment. Instead of expensive lessons of some kind it's enough for them to figure out for themselves by reading books at the library an interest to explore or a new hobby to teach themselves. I'm thinking cooking, birding, kinitting . . . . An interest that they can cultivate for all of their lifetime not just a summer.

 

My kids will be foregoing the usual lessons. Instead we'll be walking to the library. Biking local forest preserve paths by the new house. And learning to fish in lake 1 mile from the house. Cooking in the new kitchen. Gardening with a vengeance. I would love for them to want to learn to knit, embroider, sew, latch hook, etc. But those are my passions--not theirs.

 

Though swimming lessons IMO are more than enrichment. Learning to swim is a safety skill. An investment in their safety is always good.

 

Of course there are other budget items that are getting axed during this time.

-- Dining out

-- Starbucks :001_huh:

-- If you have TV, reducing cable costs

-- Eat more beans! OK, now we're starting to preach. :tongue_smilie:

 

Seriously though we're eating less organic foods because we just can't afford it. Milk was $6.99 (whole, organic, 1 gal.) on Monday. I bought just one jug for the babies.

[TravelingChris]

I am not quite understanding. Does your husband have an income or are you both waiting on a business to start making enough to be able to have a living wage? If the latter is the case, I would be panicked too. I don't think I am the best person to advise since I am truely terrified of my dh potentially putting in his retirement papers without a follow up job. I did get him to agree to not put in his retirement papers until a time when we can easily move to a much cheaper place if need be. (His retirement will be less than 50% of what he is now making and he needs to be employed somewhere else for us to continue with anything close to our current level of living.) Now I don't have a problem making severe restrictions on our spending but only when I see it as a temporary issue. Like if next Februrary he puts in his papers and doesn't have a job yet, I will immediately stop lots of our spending and eat much cheaply until he does get an offer.

 

If you are having problems with your business, I would suggest getting advice from the Small Business Administration. I hear that give very good advice.

[Brigitte]

When you have to curb your spending and/or increase your earnings, what exactly do you do? Early on in our marriage, I was so good at this. Now, 17 years later, it seems hard - perhaps because it feels as if we're going backwards.

 

I'd sure appreciate some advice and support from you folks.

 

Doran, I feel your pain. We are on the verge of a total change in life right now and money is going to be a big issue. We have spent the last 9 years living rent and utilities free. Because our townhouse has not sold, we are having to take on a mortgage at a time when both dh and I are building new businesses (income is very uncertain) and our savings (on which we were going to live for a bit) are being cut into significantly to make the downpayment on the new place.

 

Here is how I see it for us...We will live as frugally as we can, but we need to face the reality that we need to get something part-time to make ends meet. I plan to give Live Ops (or something similar) a shot or I will go to the local Starbucks and pick up a few hours (I could use that discount on coffee). Dh can get a job bartending a few hours a week, which is what he was doing before he got his Phd. The point is that we will do what we have to to survive financially, but not doing things that will add stress or keep us from being able to do the work we want to do.

 

There is always give and take in these situations, the problem is in finding the balance. Hopefully we all find that balance sooner rather than later.

 

:grouphug:

[Kim in Appalachia]

I would definitely not do the extra summer activities for the kids. The pool will be enough. I would change how you eat. Organic is nice, but an unnecessary expense. And you said you are already cutting back on eating out. But I would not get a job, not yet. The biggest reason I say that is because you are just starting to make those connections and work on your dream. If you could sacrifice some other things just to save that opportunity it would seem worth it. Opportunities like you are having don't always come around twice.

 

Just my thoughts.

[Brigitte]

We're going into debt in order to make a different future, but I am NOT comfortable with this. And I found out last night that what I assumed about provisions for me should anything happen to dh are... well, they are not even close to what I assumed they were. And so today, I am quietly Freaking Out.

 

Don't do debt. Find something -- anything -- that can give you the bit of extra income you need until the New Enterprise kicks in. It may not nourish your soul in and of itself, but not accumulating debt can be a soul nourisher, IMO. Let that knowledge energize you for the journey.

 

:grouphug: to you, Pam.

 

I completely agree with the point about the "something to tide you over" not being soul nourishing, but the lack of bet being so. That is the attitude I am working on (not always very well, however).

[Doran]

I am not quite understanding. Does your husband have an income or are you both waiting on a business to start making enough to be able to have a living wage? ...

If you are having problems with your business, I would suggest getting advice from the Small Business Administration. I hear that give very good advice.

 

 

My husband is self-employed. Well, actually, he and a partner own a corporation, but essentially, it's the same thing except for tax purposes. He has an excellent business but it will never be a huge income producer. It has always provided us with enough to be comfortable and to live without much fear of where the money would come from. However, that was in addition to my contributions to our living expenses. And, that was before every dang thing seemed to get so expensive, not the least of which is fuel. The area in which we live does not offer a huge number of options when it comes to part time employment -- mostly the offerings are related to the tourist industry in some fashion: retail sales in cute little clothing or gift shops, or restaurant work. Many, many of the people who make their livings here are self employed in some way. So, when I left my farming position(s), I figured I'd end up going the same route in order to earn some income, pursue my interests and skills set, and not just end up in a waitressing job, kwim? That's what all the discussion of "my venture" was all about.

 

Hope that helps clarify.

[JennifersLost]

I think I'll be repeating what others have said, but I'll repeat anyway. If I were you I would NOT get a job, but I WOULD really tighten up. You are working hard toward establishing a real career and calling for yourself that will pay off down the road. You are setting yourself up for the rest of your life and this is a very valuable lesson for your kids to experience.

 

Do the pool this summer. Schedule a bunch of dinners at home with friends. Set a very clear budget and really stick to it. Try like crazy to avoid debt and at the same time use the "fear" to really focus on what you're building up. The fact that your writing already nearly covers the rent is so great!

 

I would be on the lookout for "opportunities" as they arise. Chances to trade for food or services, etc. Cultivate a pioneer attitude and only go to town now and then instead of daily.

 

Everyone has lean times and this looks to be a lean time for a lot of people. You and your kids might be able to find a lot of other people who can really understand what you're going through.

 

I'd also ask dh in the future to tell you earlier about problems, because you might have been able to cut back sooner and stretched your money a little further, right?

 

You can get through this part and the other side will be so rewarding for you, I'm sure!

[Jane in NC]

Well, Doran, one of my local friends recently began working part time as a cashier in a grocery store. This was not in her plans for life, but she realizes that it is a Means to an End. That may be what you need this summer. A part time summer position is not a lifetime commitment. It is just a temporary arrangement.

 

But jobs do come with a price, particularly these days when gas prices are what they are. If you don't work, can you incorporate some major saving strategies into your life? Canning food if you can find some deals from local farms, bike rides to the library as an activity with your kids, etc. If you don't work, can you expedite those plans for what you want to do as a career? (I have a problem in that I do a number of things for free in my community; lots of people and organizations are happy to accept my free labor, but I would not get a paycheck from these endeavors.)

 

Summer is a great time for local food. It may not always be organic, but local is good for the body and soul and often less expensive. Anything for which you can trade? I bake and make jam for which my neighbor gives me fish. This doesn't solve big financial problems, but it does save a few bucks.

 

I fear you are not alone in your worries.

 

Hugs,

Jane

[jail warden]

We had a very similar situation 2 years ago when my littlest was born. The hardest part was that I just had a baby and there was nothing I could do part time and dh was working on remodeling our house. We were right in the middle of it and had to finish the house before we did anything else. Talk about scary! You're not supposed to cry the weekend before your baby will be born. Anyway, we finished the house and started a budget. We did not spend anything that was not on that paper unless we agreed to change it. Necessities first, food, shelter, clothing, and then payments. My kids have not been able to do very many activities and it's been so hard on ME. I think it's been harder on me than on them. But they understand we can't afford everything and I think that's actually kinda good for them. It makes them realize life is not served on a silver platter. :grouphug: I know how scary this is and I feel for you.

[Melora in NC]

I would cut the food budget first. We ate some organic food, briefly, while I was working and and earning a fair amount of money a few years ago. I felt good about it, but it was the first thing to go when the time came to cut the spending! I would also cut the kids' activities. You already have the full summer pool membership, and there are usually other free or nearly free activities out there (we discovered Vacation Bible Schools last summer, and our kids had a great time at a couple of them!).

We were planning to sign our kids up for swim team this summer, but the cost of gas has gotten so high that we've decided that the daily drives to practice and the drives to meets would be too hard a hit to our budget. I think this will be a good summer for us to do crafts and experiments at home, as well as participating in things like VBS, the library's summer program, etc. I wouldn't feel a bit guilty about not getting a job (or, more, not going into debt!) to pay for "extras."

[Old Dominion Heather]

What I want to know is this... Where do you live that you can join the pool for under $200??? You guys are lucky. My kids are having to forgo the pool this year. For us to join the run down pool only open in the evenings would be over $400. The nice all day pools would be $400 + $1000 joining fee (the community pool) or $650 Mem. Day to Labor Day (the country club pool). It is just too much this year.

 

So my kids will have to be happy with the hose... which is going to be hard since their best friends have joined the pool and do swim team and all that.

 

Cutting back is hard.

[Doran]

I have to leave for a women's group meeting which I enjoy every other week. I'm sure this topic will come up there as well, and I so appreciate both levels and venues of support.

 

Will check back in later tonight. Your comments have been very helpful so far.

[mcconnellboys]

Well, for me, having an envelope of cash in my purse with my weekly budget for typical expenditures has helped keep me away from my credit card since January. I think much more about how I spend my weekly money and make wiser choices, rather than giving in to my afternoon cravings when we're rushing out and about, etc. (which *really* add up).

 

Just little things we never really thought about, such as about $1.35 now for an individual, bottled soft drink (x 3 sometimes, for us) vs. $1.33 total for a liter bottle that can serve us all, makes quite a difference day after day. Little treats of chocolate for myself add up, too, so I've found ways to curtail that, as well.

 

Dried beans and rice are less expensive than the canned or convenience varieties. Buying meat on sale and freezing. I know you know all these things. I actually buy smaller amounts of fruits and vegis, so that I have less wastage if they don't get eaten up quickly. I keep some canned fruit and vegis (or frozen) on hand in case I get caught short for dinner.

 

We have cut way back on eating out, too, and once I'm through my allotted budget for the week of eating out, then we're done.

 

My children have cut back the last couple of years on summer camps and things as costs for those have begun to skyrocket.

 

As costs continue to go up, I also am beginning to look more and more at trying to find a time to pick up work that might help out with regular expenses, such as food and gas. Because I grew up working as a cashier and have so many years of experience at it, that would probably be the most likely thing that I'd do, even though it would not be my most favorite idea of a "job"..... So maybe if you can work it in, you do something for a while that's not your favorite thing. Maybe the money will help you to stay out of debt and be able to continue on toward the path you've set for yourself, just maybe a little slower?

 

Good luck to you,

[*anj*]

Doran,

You've gotten a lot of good advice.

I think that it would be a good idea to let the pool be The Main Event of the Summer and to also encourage them to start new (inexpensive) hobbies. I really understand that they will be disappointed, we had to disappoint our kids last summer when we canceled a couple of fun things we'd planned. I do think though, that this is an excellent opportunity to teach them a valuable lesson about spending. I would be very upfront with them about your finances, explaining the valid reasons why you're making these hard decisions. You'd be modeling some really important qualities like good stewardship and delayed gratification. You aren't saying that they will never again be able to attend the programs they love, it's just this year. And in the meantime they/you can save up for next year, putting money aside that's been earmarked for summer camp and such.

 

I really, really understand your feelings about organic and responsibly grown food. I struggle a lot with that one. A few months ago I decided that I needed to stretch my grocery budget by purchasing more conventional food. I've decided that we will eat 90% organic produce during the months that our CSA is in operation. The other 10% are tree fruits that aren't available through our CSA. During the non-farm months we will do the best we can, which has been amounting to only maybe 25% organic produce. I am determined to freeze and can as much as possible this summer so that I won't have to purchase tomato products and other things next winter.

 

I have to admit that since I made this switch I've noticed that I've been sicker than usual. I know this is only anecdotal, and therefore possibly has no bearing, but it's a strange coincidence. And also because when we first switched to nearly all organic about 6 years ago I noticed that everyone's health improved markedly. Go figure.

 

And don't give up on your garden! This weekend's weather has been marvelous! You've got a longer growing season than we have, so if you need to plant more, do so!

 

You can do it, you can do it!!!!

[Dayle in Guatemala]

Living on support is unpredictable, but, lately, it's been hard because people need to cut back. Missionary support is one of the first things to go, understandably!

 

I think, at times, we feel that we need to give our dc so much in way of activities and opportunity because so many others do it. I often wonder, what did kids do before? I remember being so busy all summer and we weren't involved in a ton of activities. I've tried really hard to keep it simple after 2 summers of absolute running around from one activity to another. I wasn't enjoying my family, I was so busy, I was spending more than was necessary. It was hard, because so many of my friends were signing their kids up for everything. We picked one thing.

 

The rest of the time we explored the woods, hung out in the library, planted a garden, grew flowers, collected leaves and things to make candles and things as gifts, went to the beach, and did a craft time weekly with other moms I knew. (this was all in MN, before we moved here)

 

I'm so glad we did that. It was fun!

 

Our dc pick up on our frustrations, worries, and concerns. If we choose to have a great time doing these kinds of things, they won't know, after a while, the difference. They will follow our lead.

 

I would try everything you have to to stay home. Cut out all extra expenses. Keep track of what you are spending, and get real with what you can afford. Do all your distance driving in one day and plan out your trips to make the most of your time and money.

 

It will turn around. Before you know it, you won't be worrying and things will be routine and natural for you!

 

Hang in there!:D

[Peela]

I don't have much to add. I agree with everyone who has said don't take on any more activities, keep an eye out for appropriate part time work over the summer but I wouldn't necessarily take anything on that doesn't feel ok. And, focus on reducing expenditure. The best way of increasing income is to decrease spending. Keep your spending in perspective...is it worth you having to work to have the kids do an extra class?

And, write out a detailed budget. Write everything down. Get really real about your expenses, don't be in denial about anything. Face it all, and put it on paper and see if it can work.

 

But the comment I was going to make is on organic food. I am a naturopath and a periodic health nut, and we don't buy organic food because I can't really justify the expense for our family. From my perspective, most people don't even get to eating anywhere near enough fruit and veg on a daily basis- including my family- to justify going organic on a tight budget. In other words, eating healthily, eating whole grains, lots of seasonal, local fruit and veg, eating a basic healthy diet, is a huge step up for most people, and to me that is more important than organic...organic is the next step from that. Unless of course you have the money to buy organic easily. Milk is another issue, and we buy raw milk, but I must admit that would go too if we got tight.

Instead of organic, I have a bottle of fruit and veg wash on my sink and everything gets washed with that. It takes wax off fruit and gets rid of everything else (well, the label says that and I presume it does). I get a box of fruit and veg delivered each week so that I don't have to think about having enough in the house-its a similar price to what I would get it for in the local supermarket.

The thing that would break my heart the most would be cutting back on kids' classes, but actually it would be ok.

It will all work out, and you are certainly not alone...many people are experiencing difficulties in these times.

 

As for gas prices, its good to keep things in perspective. The U.S. has cheap gas still compared to many places in the world. I am not sure how to translate gallons over to litres, but we are paying lots more lately. But a friend from Germany says we don't know how lucky we are, because our prices still haven't reached what he was paying in Germany a few years ago.

I think as western cultures we are going to have to go through change and adjustments because our lifestyles are ultimately unsustainable. This is just the beginning. I don't know about you but it actually helps me to think of it in the bigger picture....helps depersonalise it.

[profmom]

I'm sorry you're having a tough time. You've already gotten good advice, but I wanted to say a bit more about using a budget. I've been amazed at how much difference using a budget has made for us -- we have more money because we use it! It really helps to "give every dollar a name before the month begins," but, also, we found that we spend less just because we are monitoring the spending more closely.

 

I hope you find the right combination of increasing income and reducing spending that works for your family.

[Christine]

When you have to curb your spending and/or increase your earnings, what exactly do you do? Early on in our marriage, I was so good at this. Now, 17 years later, it seems hard - perhaps because it feels as if we're going backwards.

 

I'm afraid I don't have much advice to help you, but I can empathize with you.

 

Next year my DH is "retiring" from the military. Our income will go to 1/3 of it's current value. Then, he's planning to do 2 years of college to change careers.

 

We easily spend 2/3 to 3/4 of his income now, and we don't spend too freely. I'm still trying to figure out how to make this work. . .(we are trying to save a lot in advance). I don't know where I'll be able to find the energy to do school with the boys and have a job.

 

:grouphug:

 

Oh, but I know EXACTLY how you feel about being able to do it way back when, but now feeling like you're taking a huge slide backwards.

 

I'll be watching this thread with interest.

[jejily]

Have you heard of Dave Ramsey? I know he's not everyone's cup of tea... and you said you don't have a debt problem, but you do have an income problem right now, and you'd be amazed at how quickly that can spiral into a debt problem without careful budgeting. At the very least, it sounds as if you are in danger of using up your savings. That's a sure-fire invitation for "Murphy" to visit!

 

I second the above poster's recommendation of the book Your Money or Your Life, and also recommend Ramsey's book: The Total Money Makeover. This is not just about getting out of debt. It's also about staying out of debt (as in, never even going there). In conjunction with that, they have a TMMO forum for people working the Dave Ramsey plan. I am a member of that forum. From that group, I have learned it is QUITE possible to cut down your living expenses DRASTICALLY. There are people on that forum that are a wealth of information (no pun intended!) on how to live frugally in order to get out debt and stockpile money for the future.

 

I'm not a paid promoter for Dave Ramsey, really I'm not! :tongue_smilie: I've just seen -- and know in real life -- people who turned their financial lives around simply by following his plan. And while you're trying to live frugally, the folks on the TMMO forum (who are all doing the same thing) offer tremendous support and advice.

 

The above posters have offered great ways to reduce your spending. Here's one more suggestion, from the TMMO book: Use envelopes.

 

After you've paid the "big" bills that must be paid with a check or auto draft from your bank (rent/mortgage, utility bills, car payment, insurance), determine what your budget is for everything else: groceries, gas, eating out, entertainment (movie rentals, books), recreation (swimming and other activities), etc. Then, create an envelope for each of those categories, and put CASH in it based on what you've budgeted.

 

For example, if you budget $400 for groceries, then put $400 cash in the grocery envelope. If you budget $250 for gas, put $250 cash in the gas envelope, etc.

 

Then, only use CASH. No checks, not even a debit card at the grocery store, because that is temptation to spend more than you can really afford. And when the cash from that category is gone, then you're done spending in that category for the rest of the month!

 

It helps to have an envelope for "Blow Money" because, like a diet, it's hard to stick with a strict budget when you're first starting out, and you're going to 1) mess up ("blow it") now and then; and 2) need to buy yourself something that's "not in the budget" sometimes (like a new book!). So, plan for it by setting aside a certain amount of "blow money."

 

I guess I'm a big proponent of this method, because it is working for us. For the first time in 15+ years, I can actually STAY AT HOME. We don't have to be a dual-income family anymore, because we are getting our debt and our spending under control. So now I'm finally able to do with child #3 what I always wanted to do with child #1 and child #2 -- homeschool! :001_smile:

 

~ HTH ~

[Doran]

I've been reading these replies with interest and trying to determine which parts are potentially the most useful for us. I brought up my worries to my husband last night (unfortunately, I did this AFTER we'd turned out our lights to go to sleep ), but we did cover a little ground in a very civil fashion. I found it interesting that the first thing dh said was "We can't skimp on the kids' things this summer." While I relish the support he gives our homeschooling journey, I think part of his comment was based in a lack of knowledge of just what some of the summer things cost. He sobered rather quickly when I described the fees involved for the theater camp, for example. So, we're still discussing that topic. Generally, I'm sure you all are right that we can find free fun enough to last us all summer. I'm still not ready to let go of the gymnastics for younger dd, and I'm wishing we could find her a mother's helper job, or pet sitting job because she *so needs to stay busy*!! Older dd, it's not such an issue. She has a job one day a week and could likely volunteer at the local sailing camp as well. Trickier to keep the littler one satisfied.

 

I digress. The main benefit that came out of my conversation with dh is that we agree we need to generate a written budget. This would help us see more clearly where the money goes. So, that's a first step. We know that the bulk of our expenses goes to food, gas, and rent. It would be great if we could get out of that rent thing, but any other option would end up costing us MORE money per month, even though it would be going toward something we own. If the money's just not there, then it isn't, kwim?

 

I think dh would feel best if I had some additional source of income right now, though he hasn't said that outright. And, sadly, he's not sure how my "concepts" for my future are actually going to make the kind of money we'd like to be jointly earning at this point in our lives. It's a valid point. Sometimes following dreams isn't particularly lucrative. Sigh. But, I have to keep my faith in following what nourishes my soul -- at least for now.

 

At my women's meeting last night, we discussed how the whole issue of money is so much about perspective. Compared to 90% of the population, we are golden! We have a roof above our heads, food in our larder, two cars (and, for the person who asked...no, I don't believe we could get by on one), and a reasonable idea of where the next paycheck will be coming from. We also haven't lost our sons/brothers/fathers/uncles to civil war, rape of the women is not a constant threat, we don't live in a refugee camp. I sometimes wonder why I worry at all, and I wonder what illusion "security" really is.

 

Wow. I obviously have much to deliberate. :confused:

 

Thanks for helping out, ladies. It means a lot, and it does enable me to sort through some of my concerns and confusion.

[Jumping In Puddles]

You may not be able to do this, but if you can, it works out beautifully - here it is:

 

If you want to do something special or extra for example theater camp or a weeks vacation at the beach, you could earn the money for just that activity.

 

Hear me out: I have a unique situation because I freelance but that doesn't mean that you can't do it too! Don't get a job where you have a schedule, do something that YOU schedule. For example, say you need to earn $400 for this camp, then what you could do is:

1) Sell books, clothing, or whatever on ebay and use that money ONLY for this.

2) Offer a cooking class (if you can cook) for kids or mom's or my favorite, senior citizens: this has been my best moneymaker aside from my freelance work (which I take only when I have something specific to pay for). It works like this: If you have a senior group at church, go through the church and see if they will sponsor a class - I've easily made $400.00 in one afternoon for about 4 hours total work (2 hours class, 2 hour prep) and don't make it hands on - just a demonstration and discussion! This is way easier than you think!

 

3) If your crafty, sell something on etsy.com and EARMARK that money for something specific.

 

4) Have your kids do a lemonade stand. My kids did this because they saw it on Max and Ruby (who I haaaaaaaate but anyway) and they sold brownies and they made $50.00 when they ran out of stuff to sell in less than 2 hours! You don't have to do this in front of your home, do it at a gas station, outside the supermarket (with permission) Roadside by a park etc.

 

The point is to do something and use that money for something specific.

 

Good Luck!

[6packofun]

We *have* cut out all outside activities for the summer and possibly beyond. Dh is looking into a bus pass to take to work and our grocery shopping has most definitely changed. Simple meals, more repeats but more fresh and organic items. We used to get fast food several times a week because we were running around and so that has been cut down drastically, too, which is a good thing! LOL

 

My dh lost his job over 2 years ago and is only working part-time, plus a little freelance on the side and we have NO benefits yet. It's tough at our house but we can pull through it! Right now, we're in survival mode but I am trying to make it seem like a natural shift to frugality and wise choices and better eating, etc. so that our kids don't feel "poor." We're not, really. :)

 

Dh is selling all of his game systems, games and DVDs. We can't live like we make that kind of money anymore when it could be cash in our hands...even though it hurts to sell at such a loss. :nopity:

 

All this to say that I feel your pain. ((((Doran))))

[OnTheBrink]

I have no advice to contribute, as anything I'd have suggested has been said already. Just wanted to offer :grouphug: