Advice on writing instruction

[sparks]

My DS5 (He will turn 5 end October) is the MOST reluctant writer. He hated drawing and colouring even as a toddler and only began drawing volcanoes, tornadoes and earthquake faults recently (Don't ask me why).

 

I know he is young and I shouldn't push it but he really HATES writing. He won't even learn to write his name! Just the other day over a playdate, he ran out of the room in a huff and I wondered why. It was only when his younger sister (DD3) came out, proudly showing off her 'writing' that I realised they had been writing and drawing inside the room. He refused to go in and just sat in the hall, pouting :(

 

I do not think (I hope not!) he has any special needs. He is reading at Grade 3 level in English and elementary level in Chinese. He also does Math at Grade 1/2 level. However he neither draws nor writes ANYTHING (except volcanoes and earthquake faults).

 

I tried to make him at least write his name. It worked out rather badly. Two months down, he still refuses to do it. I tried using a writing programme that is heavy on reading. We started on Explode the Code 1 and he was already struggling with the writing. I thought perhaps I should peg it at his reading level to pique his interest, so moved on to Level 4. He did the reading worksheet at amazing speed, but just will NOT write out the answers (copying single words!). He could segment all the compound words but just refused to fill in those blanks. It became such an agony for me, I stopped.

 

He simply has no concept of 'copywork', and the only writing I could force out of him was in the form of dictation (he will sound out everything).

 

I am sorry if I am beginning to sound long winded. This is getting very frustrating. Do you know any 5 year old who refuses even to write his name? His pencil grip seems fine, so I do not think that is the issue.

 

Question:

1. Should I try another writing programme?

2. Or should I just 'wait it out' (until? 10? 20 yr old?)

3. Should I just, ok 'force' him to write at least one sentence a day? (So far his record is three words a day in dictation)

4. How do I go about making him write his name? (the first word he ever wrote voluntarily was not his name, it was 'Japan', after the Tsunami incident :()

 

In other words, how should I intervene?

[HejKatt]

Having a 5 year old ds myself, and having heard that boys are prone to be 'allergic to pencils', I'm inclined to think his behavior falls within normal range.

 

Does he seem like a perfectionist? My ds sometimes erases words he's writing (even ones that seem fine to me), then groans and gives up. Then I go back to practising letter formations with him. I also found that he preferred cursive writing to printing.

 

You mentioned he has high interest in geological phenomena. Have you tried a unit study or lapbook? I would check Currclick or search this board for free unit study curricula.

 

I would also give some slack for the different subjects, e.g. if studying mathematics, I would be OK with transcribing his calculations, or writing down his answers to word problems.

[desertmum]

I agree with the above. My 5yo is a perfectionist and doesn't want to print at all. We are doing cursive (italic) first. Ds also gets very discouraged and gives up easily if the letters are not "right". What I am doing at the moment is write something myself and pretend to make a mistake, erase and shake my head and say something about mummy messing up. Then I erase and try again. This has improved my ds view about having to "get it right" the first time. Also, I insist on using pencil when writing. I found ds crying because he couldn't erase ink and was very upset the "mistake" stayed on the page. So from now on it is pencil until he is more advanced. IMHO

[mom@shiloh]

I'm totally agreeing with the pp. A five year old boy who doesn't like to write is completely normal! My guess is that you'll see that change over the next year.

[boscopup]

Normal. My oldest is writing phobic too, but he's so much better now at age 7 than he was at age 5! Part of his problem was that his hand hurt when he wrote. We've solved that by a) Making sure his desk/chair are at proper height for good posture, b) Easing into the writing required each day very gradually, building his writing muscles. We started this in January, and by June (end of first grade), he was able to copy 3 sentences without complaint. That is huge. In January, copying one sentence got lots of complaints and "My hand hurts!"

 

Have you tried practicing writing in non-pencil/paper ways? Draw in sand/dirt/shaving cream/salt/etc. Write on the sidewalk/patio with big chalk. Also, a white board can be helpful to make it more fun.

 

I wouldn't worry about his drawing/coloring. Sounds like a typical boy to me. :) My son loves to draw tornadoes and such as well. For his "100th day of school" poster in K (at school), he drew 100 tornadoes. Basically, he only draws Star Wars stuff and natural disasters. :tongue_smilie:

[Janie Grace]

I'm totally agreeing with the pp. A five year old boy who doesn't like to write is completely normal! My guess is that you'll see that change over the next year.

 

:iagree: Don't push it. Take a break and try again in a few months. It sounds like there is a battle of wills going on, and that he is picking up on some stress from you about it. You need to relax and make it fun. He'll do it. :)

[Coffeemama]

 

Have you tried practicing writing in non-pencil/paper ways? Draw in sand/dirt/shaving cream/salt/etc. Write on the sidewalk/patio with big chalk. Also, a white board can be helpful to make it more fun.

 

I wouldn't worry about his drawing/coloring. Sounds like a typical boy to me. :) My son loves to draw tornadoes and such as well. For his "100th day of school" poster in K (at school), he drew 100 tornadoes. Basically, he only draws Star Wars stuff and natural disasters. :tongue_smilie:

 

:iagree: Writing on different non-paper mediums is a great way to start. Sometimes being able to easily wipe away mistakes or letters that don't look right makes it more comfortable for the child and more fun/interesting.

 

Also having a "real" reason for writing can be motivating. Such as making a get well card or thankyou note or Christmas wish list or grocery list for items he chooses.

[blondeviolin]

I would also encourage letter formation with non-pencil objects. Play dough (cookie dough!), pipe cleaners, sand. I've made large numbers and letters, placed the starting point on them and laminated them so my son can trace it with his finger OR dry erase. He likes that.

 

Will he finger trace something?

 

My 5yo will only write if she knows how to spell it and it often contains upper and lower cases. No biggie.

[Tam101]

How did my son get to your house? ;)

 

My son is 9 1/2 and about 6mo ago I started getting less resistance with writing. Obviously, You can't wait until he is 9 to teach him to write, so I would go with short, quick and genital lessons. You can make into game. The marshmallow game has worked well for us. For every letter he writes he gets a marshmallow! I've done a lot of oral lessons with my son up until now to reduce his writing load, but I told him last year that this year (4th grade) I was going to expect him to start writing his own answers! We start school next week, so wish me luck!

[Janie Grace]

How did my son get to your house? ;)

 

Obviously, You can't wait until he is 9 to teach him to write, so I would go with short, quick and genital lessons.

 

:lol: Gotta love autocorrect!

[kristinannie]

My DS5 used to cry during handwriting every.single.day. We were using a ball and stick method and it really frustrated him. I switched to ZB an suddenly handwriting is his favorite subject! Maybe you could also use something like Startwrite and let him choose which words he wants to write that day. I have heard that PAL writing is really good for kids that don't like to write. They write letters in boxes instead of on lines so they kids can worry about the letter formation and not where the lines are. HWOT is supposed to be good too. Honestly, maybe he just needs to wait a few months and then you can try again. Sometimes kids are just NOT ready for something. It sounds like he is doing great in everything else and he is only 5. That is the great thing about homeschooling...you can do what is best for YOUR child.

[Crimson Wife]

My DS turned 5 last November and he couldn't write his name until February (e.g. age 5 1/4). He has made a lot of progress since then but he's still nowhere near a 1st grade level. That plus a general lack of maturity & attention span is why he's doing "transition" this upcoming year instead of moving on to 1st.

[nmoira]

Said gently, I wouldn't force a four year old to do anything school related. By doing so, you could set up a pattern of frustration and resentment that carries over at least through your early years of schooling. It sounds like this battle has been going on for a few months. In your position, I would back off completely for a good while and let him draw volcanoes and fault lines, and whatever else he wants to his heart's content. :)

 

FWIW, I didn't start reading and writing lessons with DD the Younger until she was about five and a half. She simply wasn't ready and showed no interest earlier.

[Ellie]

I would expect a child of either gender who is not yet 5yo to be reluctant to write. I'd give it a rest and let him color or whatever else he wants to do. I would definitely NOT try anything formal/Official with him at this point.

[frankcassiesmom]

I would definitely go for more non-writing exercises. Those paint bags I've seen on blogs, etc. look great. The ones with paint inside the ziploc and they write through to the table through the bag with their finger. The sand writing boxes from Montessori Services. White boards. Shaving Cream on the table.

[EKS]

I don't think you can know whether a 4yo is a reluctant writer or not.

 

Once he is kindergarten age, usually age 5, you can require him to do five minutes of handwriting practice each day. Handwriting Without Tears is a great program for kids who have issues with handwriting (even just psychological issues).

 

I've found that kids who hate writing with a pencil don't mind writing on a small whiteboard. It uses different muscles and it seems novel and fun.

 

If you're still concerned, you could get him evaluated by an occupational therapist. I wouldn't wait it out, but I wouldn't worry just yet either.

[Cosmos]

I am sorry if I am beginning to sound long winded. This is getting very frustrating. Do you know any 5 year old who refuses even to write his name? His pencil grip seems fine, so I do not think that is the issue.

 

Question:

1. Should I try another writing programme?

2. Or should I just 'wait it out' (until? 10? 20 yr old?)

3. Should I just, ok 'force' him to write at least one sentence a day? (So far his record is three words a day in dictation)

4. How do I go about making him write his name? (the first word he ever wrote voluntarily was not his name, it was 'Japan', after the Tsunami incident :()

 

In other words, how should I intervene?

 

He's only four, right? Why do you keep calling him five?

 

No, do not force him to write a sentence a day. That is way beyond the capabilities of the vast majority of children his age. Think in terms of letters per day.

 

And since he hates it right now, I would say take a break entirely for at least a month and then start over again. With perhaps 3-5 *letters* a day.

 

If he does want to write words, encourage him to write words of interest to him. Japan is a great word to write. He'll get to his name eventually. Schools want kids entering kindergarten to be able to write their names. Your ds is a whole year away from kindergarten age.

[HejKatt]

I would expect a child of either gender who is not yet 5yo to be reluctant to write. I'd give it a rest and let him color or whatever else he wants to do. I would definitely NOT try anything formal/Official with him at this point.

 

Ellie (or anyone else who wants to chime in), could you give some examples of what you would do with a 5yo?

 

I'm still trying to break out of the "school at home" mindset, and when I read examples about delayed formal instruction, I just can't see my dc doing what the brilliant children in their examples are doing, e.g. investigating insect life with a magnifying glass, seeing logarithmic spirals in seashells. Because the learning is not quantifiable, I feel vaguely uncomfortable and concerned about gaps.

 

There's also the siren call of the wonderful curricula and the urge to do it all - every SOTW activity in the Activity Guide, every lesson in BFSU but that might be another topic. :001_smile:

[kristinannie]

Obviously, You can't wait until he is 9 to teach him to write, so I would go with short, quick and genital lessons.

 

 

:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:

[FairProspects]

Ellie (or anyone else who wants to chime in), could you give some examples of what you would do with a 5yo?

 

I'm still trying to break out of the "school at home" mindset, and when I read examples about delayed formal instruction, I just can't see my dc doing what the brilliant children in their examples are doing, e.g. investigating insect life with a magnifying glass, seeing logarithmic spirals in seashells. Because the learning is not quantifiable, I feel vaguely uncomfortable and concerned about gaps.

 

There's also the siren call of the wonderful curricula and the urge to do it all - every SOTW activity in the Activity Guide, every lesson in BFSU but that might be another topic. :001_smile:

 

Not Ellie, but my nearly 5 y.o. wrote 4 letters on a chalkboard this morning (O, Q, A, & N) in all capitals as per HWOT Pre-K, we played around with letter stamping, colored, and made peanuts out of thumbprints & stamping ink. Yesterday, we traced A's on glue inside a ziploc baggie, formed letters out of wiki-sticks, and the day before we traced sandpaper capitals Montessori-style. We've also traced letters in shaving cream on a tray & then drove trucks around it, or played in cornmeal & rice, usually with letters or numbers first and then just with toys. This keeps it fun and active, but sneaks in a little learning. Skittles are a fantastic motivator too :D.

 

OP: My ds 2 is the exact same age as yours and cannot write his name either. Neither could my ds 1 at age 5. At age 7, the same ds can write a paragraph. It will be okay, there is a lot of development between 5-7.

Edited August 11, 2011 by FairProspects

[HejKatt]

Not Ellie, but my nearly 5 y.o. wrote 4 letters on a chalkboard this morning (O, Q, A, & N) in all capitals as per HWOT Pre-K, we played around with letter stamping, colored, and made peanuts out of thumbprints & stamping ink. Yesterday, we traced A's on glue inside a ziploc baggie, formed letters out of wiki-sticks, and the day before we traced sandpaper capitals Montessori-style. We've also traced letters in shaving cream on a tray & then drove trucks around it, or played in cornmeal & rice, usually with letters or numbers first and then just with toys. This keeps it fun and active, but sneaks in a little learning. Skittles are a fantastic motivator too :D.

 

OP: My ds 2 is the exact same age as yours and cannot write his name either. Neither could my ds 1 at age 5. At age 7, the same ds can write a paragraph. It will be okay, there is a lot of development between 5-7.

 

FairProspects, thank you for the description! :001_smile: That sounds just like the Kindergarten described in the "Berenstain Bears Go To School", a fun one. It sounds like today's K is different, at least if I go by the standards here (I could be wrong, the teachers may be coming up with fun activities for everything listed, still it sounds pretty overwhelming).

http://www.k12.com/courses/k-8-courses/downloadable-k-8-course-information

[FairProspects]

FairProspects, thank you for the description! :001_smile: That sounds just like the Kindergarten described in the "Berenstain Bears Go To School", a fun one. It sounds like today's K is different, at least if I go by the standards here (I could be wrong, the teachers may be coming up with fun activities for everything listed, still it sounds pretty overwhelming).

http://www.k12.com/courses/k-8-courses/downloadable-k-8-course-information

 

Yes, K today is different here too, in that they have just pushed 1st grade material down to K. IMHO, that is generally developmental inappropriate for the age though, and being homeschoolers we can do more of what we want and have a more gentle intro. Besides all those phonics concepts you linked can be covered very quickly with a 6 y.o. who is ready (it took less than 3 weeks with ds 1 once he was ready) and you will still have plenty of time to move into 1st grade work. Hope you have a fun year of learning whatever you decide to do!

[Tam101]

:lol: Gotta love autocorrect!

 

:w00t:

 

and thank you for knowing that was an autocorrect issue. Shesshh, one of these days I'll learn to proof read.

Edited August 12, 2011 by Tam101

[boscopup]

FairProspects, thank you for the description! :001_smile: That sounds just like the Kindergarten described in the "Berenstain Bears Go To School", a fun one. It sounds like today's K is different, at least if I go by the standards here (I could be wrong, the teachers may be coming up with fun activities for everything listed, still it sounds pretty overwhelming).

http://www.k12.com/courses/k-8-courses/downloadable-k-8-course-information

 

Standards really don't help you determine what is done in the classroom. All the schools around here use those methods that FairProspects mentioned. My son's K class regularly used shaving cream on their desks. :D

 

By the end of the year, the class was copying a sentence off the board (long one, like 8 words). In the beginning though, most of the kids did not yet know how to write.

[Critterfixer]

One of my sons originally struggled with handwriting and anything that needed fine motor control. I had him do quite a bit of tracing of letters and told him that it would help to make his hands stronger. He seemed to like that idea.

Another thing that helped was having him paint. He got to practice his fine motor skills without anything being expected at the end, other than a picture from his own imagination. This helped him with the control problems.

 

It seems interesting to me that he would have such an interest in volcanoes and earthquakes. Did it start after the Japan earthquake? Is it just fascination or does he seem to have some anxieties about it?

[boscopup]

It seems interesting to me that he would have such an interest in volcanoes and earthquakes. Did it start after the Japan earthquake? Is it just fascination or does he seem to have some anxieties about it?

 

My kids are fascinated by extreme weather events and destruction with no anxieties involved. We had tornadoes come through here (the 3 long-track EF-5 tornadoes that went through AL in April), and they've shown no anxiety about storms or tornadoes, but they have been very interested in tornadoes, the destruction involved, etc. They'll try to figure out what level on the EF scale a tornado would need to be to destroy a particular structure based on what it's made out of, things like that. They're completely fascinated (and DS1 has been fascinated by tornadoes for years anyway).

 

We had similar discussions after the earthquake. No anxiety. Just fascination. And in general, everything gets blown up around here anyway (they love Mythbusters, and that doesn't help :lol:).

 

I think the OP's boy sounds like a normal boy. Not all boys are like that, of course. :)

[Critterfixer]

My kids are fascinated by extreme weather events and destruction with no anxieties involved. We had tornadoes come through here (the 3 long-track EF-5 tornadoes that went through AL in April), and they've shown no anxiety about storms or tornadoes, but they have been very interested in tornadoes, the destruction involved, etc. They'll try to figure out what level on the EF scale a tornado would need to be to destroy a particular structure based on what it's made out of, things like that. They're completely fascinated (and DS1 has been fascinated by tornadoes for years anyway).

 

 

 

As are my two boys. However, we spent several days where we had to take shelter from passing tornadoes. While we were lucky, both grandparents lost trees in their yards and my mother actually had a tree come down on a corner of her house. So they got to see destruction up close and personal, and help deal with the clean-up. While they do still love to look at books with storms and tornadoes, I did find that much of their curiosity stems from a desire to know what to look for. They want to know what makes the feel and look of a tornado sky different from just a thunderstorm. Parts of our yard are still referred to by the name "the moving trees" in reference to wind damage that tore them down years ago. The recent drought has made them more interested in evaluating a cloud for it's height, and darkness, movement, all watching for rain.

This isn't what I would term anxiety, exactly, but there is a reason for it beyond a normal curiosity that would explore for a while and then maybe let go. It's actually a self-protective reaction I think.

[boscopup]

As are my two boys. However, we spent several days where we had to take shelter from passing tornadoes. While we were lucky, both grandparents lost trees in their yards and my mother actually had a tree come down on a corner of her house. So they got to see destruction up close and personal, and help deal with the clean-up.

 

Yeah, that's what we got to deal with too. We drive by tornado ravaged neighborhoods (well, what used to be neighborhoods) at least a few times a week. The van conversations were HARD for a few weeks. "There's damage! Can an EF-2 tornado destroy a brick house?" Meanwhile, some friends of mine had lost their daughter's fiance in one of the tornadoes, so tornado destruction wasn't exactly a topic I wanted to discuss that much.

[Critterfixer]

We drive by tornado ravaged neighborhoods (well, what used to be neighborhoods) at least a few times a week. The van conversations were HARD for a few weeks. "There's damage! Can an EF-2 tornado destroy a brick house?" Meanwhile, some friends of mine had lost their daughter's fiance in one of the tornadoes, so tornado destruction wasn't exactly a topic I wanted to discuss that much.

 

I wonder how many people develop a fascination for things that directly impacted their lives when they were children? I heard one veterinary trauma specialist who credits his passion for the profession with losing his own dog as a child. The dog actually pushed him out of the way of a moving vehicle and died as a result. He said quite candidly that ever since that day he'd been trying to save his dog's life.

Other people may spend a lot of time trying to understand something that they have a fear of in order to overcome that fear. I sometimes wonder if that attempt to understand and to find ways to help takes the form of a central preoccupation for some children.

 

But...this is getting off topic, and I'm not sure how it would affect the OP's problem with her son not wanting to write.

Edited August 12, 2011 by Critterfixer

[laundrycrisis]

.

 

Question:

1. Should I try another writing programme?

2. Or should I just 'wait it out' (until? 10? 20 yr old?)

3. Should I just, ok 'force' him to write at least one sentence a day? (So far his record is three words a day in dictation)

4. How do I go about making him write his name? (the first word he ever wrote voluntarily was not his name, it was 'Japan', after the Tsunami incident :()

 

In other words, how should I intervene?

 

Try having him use paintbrush pens instead of a writing instrument, and practice lowercase letters in very large sizes, concentrating on proper formation...starting the letter at the correct point and making the strokes in the correct direction and order. This is what I did with our older son. I used a program call First Strokes Multisensory to get started. He was seven though, not just turning five. I would not panic yet about him not writing. If you can do work with letters that is not writing, he may warm up to the idea of creating letters.

[sparks]

Thank you all for your comments! It really helps.

 

Yes he is going on 5, and K'ers here are sent for 'assessment' if they are not writing by 5 (if they are in school, but he isn't), so I guess I panicked a little :P

 

I will try letting him off a little (LOL, I'm sounding like a Tiger mama here), and use the white board for doodling. We use the whiteboard for Math and he doesn't seem to mind writing out numbers. That will save us both the agony :D Homeschooling is supposed to be fun :chillpill:

 

His fascination with volcanoes started with a museum visit. There was a roving exhibit on Pompeii then. Shortly after was the Japanese tsunami. He hasn't seen any natural calamities saved those on books, and I do not think he will anytime soon unless we move out of the country :)

[nmoira]

Yes he is going on 5, and K'ers here are sent for 'assessment' if they are not writing by 5 (if they are in school, but he isn't), so I guess I panicked a little :P

I'm constantly amazed by the pressure schools put on very young children to meet these types of milestones. :001_huh: It's so very different than when I was in K (play based, pre-literacy skills only).

 

What's the cut-off for K in your state? Your son wouldn't qualify for K this year in Oregon (five by September 1).

[desertmum]

I'm constantly amazed by the pressure schools put on very young children to meet these types of milestones. :001_huh: It's so very different than when I was in K (play based, pre-literacy skills only).

 

What's the cut-off for K in your state? Your son wouldn't qualify for K this year in Oregon (five by September 1).

 

All this pressure is something quite new. Now in Sweden children don't start reading and writing until they are 6 or something, and Sweden is 1st or 2nd in the world in literacy (they also quite very well in math and science even though they start later than many other countries).

 

One of the beauties of home schooling is that you can teach and challenge your child at his own speed. Sometimes I think these milestones are set by people who've never seen children before.

[Hedgehogs4]

He's not even quite 5. Give it some time. I assure you he will learn to write his name eventually, and maybe even this year, but the majority of 5yo boys have no interest in such "trivial" matters. (the school pressure thing is why you are not going there, remember?) My son was just the same, and he now has a lovely cursive signature of his very own at age 10.

 

I say this all tongue in cheek, because I remember the same panic that you are feeling--Even had him assessed, and he failed miserably at the assessment. Then something happened and he took off and all of that is just "so what?" now.

Edited August 13, 2011 by Hedgehogs4

[boscopup]

I'm constantly amazed by the pressure schools put on very young children to meet these types of milestones. :001_huh: It's so very different than when I was in K (play based, pre-literacy skills only).

 

I wonder if part of it is the fact that so many people red shirt their kids, so the kids are coming in knowing more stuff. Of course, people red shirt their kids because the schools are expecting more at an earlier age. I imagine the schools probably changed first, but the vicious cycle continues since K'ers aren't doing horrible with it - they just start at 6 instead of 5 and thus can handle first grade work just fine. :tongue_smilie:

 

My oldest son's school still did the play based stuff and did not expect kids to be writing before coming in. By the end of the year, they were able to read and write though. K was a party year! :D

 

What's the cut-off for K in your state? Your son wouldn't qualify for K this year in Oregon (five by September 1).

Same here. My middle son has a November 1 birthday. He'll be in K next year, since we have a Sept. 1 cutoff.

[Haiku]

I think you should let it go for a while. He's not even kindergarten age yet and he's already been coerced into doing something he doesn't want to do (and probably isn't developmentally ready for). I think that he's already had too much writing instruction for a kid his age. Dictation for a four year old? :001_huh: I'd leave off it for a whole year, if necessary, and let him relax some. The world will not come to an end if he can't write his name when he is four or five.

 

Tara

Edited August 13, 2011 by TaraTheLiberator

[NoPlaceLikeHome]

This normal. My super smart ds hated writing till he was about 7 1/2 years or thereabouts:D Also, I would ease him into it by using a chalkboard with handwriting lines on it. Use colorful chalk and have him trace words and sentences that interest him such as slimy, Jupiter, etc. I would wait two years or more before doing this though and would not push it. Just because he is book smart at 5 does not mean his hands are physically ready to write;)

[angela in ohio]

My middle dd was like this (it's not a boy/girl thing only.) She hated to write anything. We did ETC with me writing the letters for her. I did phonics without writing for the most part, spelling orally, etc.

 

BUT... I made her write a little bit each day. It increased her hand strength and taught her that I wasn't going to just give up when she decided she didn't like something. I would be WAY more concerned about him refusing to write when you ask him than whether he will be able to write well when he gets older.

 

The best thing you can do is to decide what you want from him in writing and be completely consistent. For my dd, it was one short sentence of copywork. It was non-negotiable. At first, the sentence was three words, but I increased it regularly (no suprises for her.) There wre no incentives, no fun alternatives, no froufrou... that wasn't a precedent I wanted to set for later years. Just "You don't like this. I get that. But sometimes we need to work onthings we don't like in order to build skills. This is the minimum I am going to accept and that's final." Her handwriting is still not beautiful, but she writes pages and pages of notes and essays and outlines quite happily. :001_smile:

Edited August 13, 2011 by angela in ohio

[Sevilla]

Your writing expectations are developmentally inappropriate and causing frustration for you and your DS. 4 year olds, especially for an active boy (kids of the Wiggly Willy learning style), are not ready to do dictation or write multiple words or things like that.

 

Take a peak inside handwriting books - the entire K year focuses on learning individual letters, and by the end there are a few sentences. But that means that the children are 6 years old before they are expected to write sentences.

 

I have talked with older HS moms who had boys who were not fine-motor-skill oriented and they have said that pushing it with their children when they were too young backfired in their child's willingness to learn at hs'ing as they got older - it put too much pressure on them and killed their motivation.

 

I would recommend this:

1. Work through this list (Fine Motor Skill Practice for Handwriting) with him BEFORE you attempt to do more pencile-and-paper handwriting (I would recommend spending the remainder of this year focusing on 'writing practice' in this manner - it will strengthen his fine motor skills and improve his later handwriting far better than the exercises in frustration you're currently attempting).

 

 

2. Come next year (when he is 5 years and a few months) select a handwriting program. I would highly recommend Handwriting Without Tears K and their various supplies that help make handwriting a multi-sensory experience. I'd also look for sandpaper letters - those are really helpful for some kids.

 

3. Follow their program and don't add your own stuff to it or try to accelerate it (I would do it just 2-3 days per week and alternate with the other sensory writing activities above instead). He will spend a good few months on just capital letters, then move to lower case, and then finally to sentences. He will be almost 6 by the time you finish it and that is OK. Remember to take a long-term view and it is more important to go slowly and build strong skills than push ahead where nothing is well-mastered.

Edited August 13, 2011 by Sevilla

[MerryAtHope]

Thank you all for your comments! It really helps.

 

Yes he is going on 5, and K'ers here are sent for 'assessment' if they are not writing by 5 (if they are in school, but he isn't), so I guess I panicked a little :P

 

I will try letting him off a little (LOL, I'm sounding like a Tiger mama here), and use the white board for doodling. We use the whiteboard for Math and he doesn't seem to mind writing out numbers. That will save us both the agony :D Homeschooling is supposed to be fun :chillpill:

 

His fascination with volcanoes started with a museum visit. There was a roving exhibit on Pompeii then. Shortly after was the Japanese tsunami. He hasn't seen any natural calamities saved those on books, and I do not think he will anytime soon unless we move out of the country :)

 

I remember at age 5, my dd used black crayon all the time. I couldn't understand it--happy child, liked color--making things in black! I was worried something was wrong! But...she just had a black phase & grew out of it to draw flowers and rainbows like I expected (and many amazing drawings and clay-work that are well beyond my expectations!). My son, on the other hand, hated drawing and coloring at that age, but when he was older he liked it (he didn't even start liking it until about age 7, and when he was 10 he really enjoyed coloring--here I'd been thinking I missed the window and he was too old!).

 

Disliking coloring at age 5 is actually pretty common too—when I taught AWANA Cubbies (for 3-5 yo’s) we often had a coloring page. I was surprised at how many of the oldest kids drew one line through the picture, said they were done, and wanted to do something else—all while another 5 yo next to them would be coloring meticulously! There’s a wide range at this age.

 

I can't believe they send 5 yo kids who aren't writing out for assessment--that seems a bit of an over-reaction to me. But maybe they are able to find some kids who need help early, hard to say (and maybe they don't determine all of them have a special need either...).

 

BTW, a child can be gifted in some areas and have a glitch or struggle or learning disability in another, so don't rule it out because he's reading and gifted in other areas. But I do think it's early to decide that. If it's still an issue as he grows older, you could look into dysgraphia.

 

I think I'd lay off writing all together and use letter tiles or magnets or other manipulatives instead. Let him make his name that way. Or use some kinesthetic or tactile methods (like drawing letters with his finger in sand or cornmeal or pudding in a plastic bag that he gets to eat afterwards).

 

Another thing that is really good for writing is large motor movements through air writing (and he might have fun with that too!). Also continue to work on gross muscle groups with plenty of running, climbing, swimming etc... Developing the gross motor skills is important to writing, even though we tend to think mostly of the fine motor skills. For fine motor skills, things like play-dough, cutting, and picking up legos or other small objects with a pincer grasp are helpful.

 

Hang in there! Merry :-)

Edited August 13, 2011 by MerryAtHope

[ClassicMom]

Your writing expectations are developmentally inappropriate and causing frustration for you and your DS. 4 year olds, especially for an active boy (kids of the Wiggly Willy learning style), are not ready to do dictation or write multiple words or things like that.

 

Take a peak inside handwriting books - the entire K year focuses on learning individual letters, and by the end there are a few sentences. But that means that the children are 6 years old before they are expected to write sentences.

 

I have talked with older HS moms who had boys who were not fine-motor-skill oriented and they have said that pushing it with their children when they were too young backfired in their child's willingness to learn at hs'ing as they got older - it put too much pressure on them and killed their motivation.

 

I would recommend this:

1. Work through this list (Fine Motor Skill Practice for Handwriting) with him BEFORE you attempt to do more pencile-and-paper handwriting (I would recommend spending the remainder of this year focusing on 'writing practice' in this manner - it will strengthen his fine motor skills and improve his later handwriting far better than the exercises in frustration you're currently attempting).

 

 

2. Come next year (when he is 5 years and a few months) select a handwriting program. I would highly recommend Handwriting Without Tears K and their various supplies that help make handwriting a multi-sensory experience. I'd also look for sandpaper letters - those are really helpful for some kids.

 

3. Follow their program and don't add your own stuff to it or try to accelerate it (I would do it just 2-3 days per week and alternate with the other sensory writing activities above instead). He will spend a good few months on just capital letters, then move to lower case, and then finally to sentences. He will be almost 6 by the time you finish it and that is OK. Remember to take a long-term view and it is more important to go slowly and build strong skills than push ahead where nothing is well-mastered.

 

Homeschooling a houseful of special needs children for 18 years, I can appreciate the advice given above. She did a great job of outlining it for you. And as many have said, your son is only four. Boys sometimes just need a little more time to develop their skills.

 

We wrote on/with lots of things. I taped butcher paper to the wall and let them write letters on that. We wrote in oatmeal, sand, beans and sugar. We used play-dough, pipe cleaners, wikki stix, yarn, and even pasta-covered paper. To write on, we had white boards, black boards, laminated pages, papered walls, and more. The more sensory input, the better.

[sparks]

We start the school year here in Jan. He is considered a K'er here (Jan 02 - Jan 01 the following year). I live in the country where SM comes from :P Frankly it is rare in my country to have any child NOT writing anything at 5. Most schools start the children in writing at 2.5 yo (shock?) by simple drills, other children follow suit when every other child is doing it. I just didn't want to go down the drill-kill way in writing. I was hoping it will develop naturally. Then I got impatient :bored: (Ok, ok I got worried really. To be frank, he is the ONLY child not writing amongst his peers, whether in school or homeschooled). I think I must have also missed a step seeing he reads well, and yes he needs more time to fine tune his fine motor skills. So pipe cleaners, branches, ice-cream (popsicle) sticks will work fine for now.

 

I like the idea of writing on different surface, and in different medium. I think he will enjoy it. Blackboards? Clay? Sounds fun!

 

O yes, we are here for the long haul. I'll hate to see him writing without comprehension (dates, days and year, names etc) now and develop aversion to learning at a later stage.