Catholic Moms/Common Misconceptions?

[WishboneDawn]

That's one of the many reasons I *love* the RCC. It is the coming together of faith and reason at the highest level (well, at least IMHO!)--it is "the true, the good, the beautiful." But there are certainly many, many people (maybe it's just my relatives? :)) who can't even begin to contemplate that. And intelligence, at least our type of materialist, relativist intelligence is generally a stumbling block to faith...and a cause for sneering at someone who finds that truth can be transmitted by imperfect institutions through celibate old men.

 

The focus on reason is why I love the Anglican church as well. :)

 

The Bible is key, tradition is key but you can't get the most out of either if you leave your intellect behind. You need, or rather, I need to question and struggle and wrestle and it seems to me that the Orthodox, RC and Anglican churches (they are the Big Three in my head :D) welcome that kind of spiritual life. Of course there are times when they've been less welcoming and there are still pockets and places where that isn't as true (currently a huge issue in the Anglican communion) but overall you can question key issues and still be welcome in the fold.

 

Which is probably why I'll never be swayed by my Baptist friend. Her message is that her church is where the Truth is, where there's contentment, where all my questions will be answered. She doesn't get that the answers appeal to me MUCH less then finding more and better questions to wrestle over. :)

[Alice]

I explained a lot of this is an earlier post on this thread, so please forgive me if I don't go through all of it again.

 

Basically, we do believe that Jesus left us the Church, and that the Church acts as the ordinary means of transmitting the faith and grace to the people through the sacraments. The Church does this for everyone, not just Catholics.

 

But we don't limit God to the ordinary. He, being God, can use extraordinary means to his purposes. In the end, Catholic or not, we all rely on his mercy. So a Catholic may tell you who IS in Heaven, but they can't say who is not.

 

We look at other Christians as Christian. They are separated from us in doctrine and practice, but still members of the body of Christ.

 

Communion, for us, is a statement of belief and unity that we unfortunately don't share with non-Catholics. When we say Amen after receiving, we are saying that we believe that Jesus is truly present in the Eucharist. Catholics who are not in a state of grace cannot receive the Eucharist either.

 

Thanks for explaining (again). I went back and found your other post and they were both helpful.

 

I don't have a problem with the not taking Communion. I've never really been bothered by that, it makes sense to me. I actually prefer the general idea that Communion is something very sacred and that it is treated as such rather than that it is made something cheap. But I do know Protestants that are very bothered by this and point to it as an example of "Catholics don't think Protestants are saved". I guess it's an example of one of the misconceptions that started this thread.

[KristinaBreece]

Ok, I've decided to attend the 7:30 (eek!) Mass tomorrow morning. DH will not be going, but I am going to try to take both DC. (Unless DS stays with my MIL tonight... that would make this sooo much easier, I think.)

 

What can I expect? And is it really okay to have my kids in the Mass with me? (I've never been in a church that didn't generally expect kids to be in Sunday School or Children's Church during the main service.) Ok, last question (for now)... what should I wear? (I know this is the least important issue, but I always feel more comfortable in a church if I'm wearing the same kinds of clothing that the regular attenders are, KWIM?

[Murphy101]

Ok, I've decided to attend the 7:30 (eek!) Mass tomorrow morning. DH will not be going, but I am going to try to take both DC. (Unless DS stays with my MIL tonight... that would make this sooo much easier, I think.)

 

What can I expect? And is it really okay to have my kids in the Mass with me? (I've never been in a church that didn't generally expect kids to be in Sunday School or Children's Church during the main service.) Ok, last question (for now)... what should I wear? (I know this is the least important issue, but I always feel more comfortable in a church if I'm wearing the same kinds of clothing that the regular attenders are, KWIM?

 

Unless you are attending a Latin mass, wear whatever will make you more comfortable while there. Latin mass tends to be more formal "Sunday best" style. Any other parish in any given Sunday will have a wide mix of shorts, jeans, dresses... So unless you show in holely stained sweats, you'll be fine. And pending on the parish even that might be seen. (some parishes are in areas with a high rate of homeless people that come in to stay cool or whatever)

 

Yes, it is always okay to bring your kids. If they get too unruly or loud, it is normal to see people stand up and take a quick minute in the back to settle them down and return. Personal hint: if you sit up front where the kids can see, IME, they tend to be engaged enough to behave better.

 

You will not be the only person to stay sitting while other go up for communion/Eucharist. So don't feel weird about it. Typically there is one or two in many pews that stay sitting. However, you can get a blessing instead by crossing your hands over your chest. Get in line like everyone else, only instead of bowing and putting your hand/tongue out for the wafer, you keep your hands crossed over your chest and the priest will know you can't receive, but would like a blessing.

 

There are usually missels when you enter the church or as you enter the congregation area. If you grab one and turn to the date of the mass you are attending, it will give a general guide for you. When to sit/stand/kneel. What biblical passages are being read and prayers to say and so forth.

 

Bending to one knee (aka genuflecting) in the direction of the tabernacle (look for red candle near alter) is like saying hello/goodbye when you enter someone's house, in this case the house of God. It is done before you enter the pew and as you leave the pew. You won't be the only one to forget or who can't so don't feel people are judging you if you don't. I just thought I would note that is why it is done. It is an acknowledgement of the Holy Person you are there to visit. It is always done when approaching or leaving the alter too.

 

The bells signify when the bread and the wine become the blood and body. (kids always ask this one)

 

That's all I can think of at the moment, which might be too much.

 

Just go. Don't worry about looking like you fit in or know all the protocols.

You are welcome and everyone there is there seeking the same as you.

:D

Edited May 28, 2011 by Martha

[Ellesmere]

[

 

Which is probably why I'll never be swayed by my Baptist friend. Her message is that her church is where the Truth is, where there's contentment, where all my questions will be answered. She doesn't get that the answers appeal to me MUCH less then finding more and better questions to wrestle over. :)

:iagree:

I really struggle here because I was taught that as you mature spiritually, you get to the right answer on everything. That church had a similar idea -- we have the truth on every topic (theology, music, dress, parenting, church government, etc.) And we might have to separate from those who don't agree with certain truths, even if is not a "fundamental" truth.

What?!? Seriously? Bless those poor babies.

Yes, from more than one pastor. There was a sermon series about the wrongs of having all age groups together. Not to pick on this segment of Baptists, I also went to an evangelical (not Baptist) church where a lady frantically opened the basement for childcare when she saw I intended to keep my quiet child with me. We were sitting on the aisle seat close to the back so I could exit in case the sermon topic was inappropriate for her. But I was told she shouldn't be in the service.

 

Hearing the difference between the sermons (correct me if my terminology is wrong) at the Catholic church and the Baptist ones, though, is a major reason as to why kids are in their own classes. Frankly, we didn't want the infant to preschool age listening to the Baptist pastor for almost an hour about adultery, immorality, or marital relations (not every week, of course.) At the Catholic church, the message from Psalm 23 was more family-friendly.

[justamouse]

That's one of the many reasons I *love* the RCC. It is the coming together of faith and reason at the highest level (well, at least IMHO!)--it is "the true, the good, the beautiful." But there are certainly many, many people (maybe it's just my relatives? :)) who can't even begin to contemplate that. And intelligence, at least our type of materialist, relativist intelligence is generally a stumbling block to faith...and a cause for sneering at someone who finds that truth can be transmitted by imperfect institutions through celibate old men.

 

Amen.

 

The focus on reason is why I love the Anglican church as well. :)

 

The Bible is key, tradition is key but you can't get the most out of either if you leave your intellect behind. You need, or rather, I need to question and struggle and wrestle and it seems to me that the Orthodox, RC and Anglican churches (they are the Big Three in my head :D) welcome that kind of spiritual life. Of course there are times when they've been less welcoming and there are still pockets and places where that isn't as true (currently a huge issue in the Anglican communion) but overall you can question key issues and still be welcome in the fold.

 

Which is probably why I'll never be swayed by my Baptist friend. Her message is that her church is where the Truth is, where there's contentment, where all my questions will be answered. She doesn't get that the answers appeal to me MUCH less then finding more and better questions to wrestle over. :)

 

Another hearty amen!

[justamouse]

Just go. Don't worry about looking like you fit in or know all the protocols.

You are welcome and everyone there is there seeking the same as you.

:D

 

I want to stress what Martha said here. NO ONE is paying attention to what you do or what you don't do. Really. Don't worry about getting something wrong.

 

And also, she's right about sitting up front, the kids will enjoy everything much better that way. There's a lot of action to watch! :D

 

And everything is symbolic so if you have questions, come back and ask and the ladies will explain what everything meant.

[Parrothead]

Ok, I've decided to attend the 7:30 (eek!) Mass tomorrow morning. DH will not be going, but I am going to try to take both DC. (Unless DS stays with my MIL tonight... that would make this sooo much easier, I think.)

 

What can I expect? And is it really okay to have my kids in the Mass with me? (I've never been in a church that didn't generally expect kids to be in Sunday School or Children's Church during the main service.) Ok, last question (for now)... what should I wear? (I know this is the least important issue, but I always feel more comfortable in a church if I'm wearing the same kinds of clothing that the regular attenders are, KWIM?

:hurray:

 

 

If you really want to research it you can go here to see the Order of the Mass.

 

Since Sunday is the last Sunday of Easter you'll get sprinkled with Holy Water. Generally people will be crossing themselves when the water gets sprinkled on them.

 

I agree with Martha, sit up front where the kids can see what is going on. It is actually very interesting to watch. Point out the alter server(s). It is also okay to bring books, paper and crayons for the kids to occupy themselves during the homily and other times they are bored. Some kids get small snacks to help keep them quite. I used to give dd fruit snacks to help keep her mouth closed.

 

Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. Dressing down was difficult for dh when he first started going. If you are more comfortable dressing up just a bit, go ahead. There are always ladies in dresses/skirts and always a few men in a suit. Head covering is optional.

 

The Missal is a bit convoluted if you are not used to using one. If you find yourself struggling to follow along, just ditch the thing.

 

Above all else, enjoy being there.

[Parrothead]

[

Yes, from more than one pastor. There was a sermon series about the wrongs of having all age groups together. Not to pick on this segment of Baptists, I also went to an evangelical (not Baptist) church where a lady frantically opened the basement for childcare when she saw I intended to keep my quiet child with me. We were sitting on the aisle seat close to the back so I could exit in case the sermon topic was inappropriate for her. But I was told she shouldn't be in the service.

 

Hearing the difference between the sermons (correct me if my terminology is wrong) at the Catholic church and the Baptist ones, though, is a major reason as to why kids are in their own classes. Frankly, we didn't want the infant to preschool age listening to the Baptist pastor for almost an hour about adultery, immorality, or marital relations (not every week, of course.) At the Catholic church, the message from Psalm 23 was more family-friendly.

I just can't fathom children not being allowed to be present at a religious service.

 

A priest's homily usually lasts no more than 15 minutes, and while not full of euphemism won't generally earn more than a PG rating.

[extendedforecast]

Your children are welcome to attend mass. :001_smile: I prefer to dress up a little, but we also see people in casual clothing. HTH

[Carol in Cal.]

[

 

 

Hearing the difference between the sermons (correct me if my terminology is wrong) at the Catholic church and the Baptist ones, though, is a major reason as to why kids are in their own classes. Frankly, we didn't want the infant to preschool age listening to the Baptist pastor for almost an hour about adultery, immorality, or marital relations (not every week, of course.)

 

This is where the Lutheran (and I assume also other) practice of preaching on the pericopes is really helpful. There are prescribed readings for each Sunday (or other worship day) of the church year, that go through either a 1 year repeatable cycle or a 2 year repeatable cycle. The sermons are based on one or more of the readings for that day, drawn from Scripture. The adult 'how to behave' stuff is covered in Bible class if it is covered at all. There is also the theology of adiophora, which says that if there is not clear guidance about some issue, Christians can reasonably disagree about the right course of action. Of course, those decisions need to be prayerfully considered in the light of Scripture, but we take very seriously the idea that we should not bind where God does not. That tends to militate against a lot of very specific teaching about things that really amount to opinion. You don't see Lutheran pastors getting up and saying that God told them to tell everyone that Christians must vote Republican or something. Plus we see the Divine Service as God coming to us with His gifts, and generally we want children to attend with their parents, so pastors realize that they are preparing their sermons for a decidedly and intentionally mixed-age audience.

[Education Explorers]

I don't send my kids to CCD, but it isn't because I'm "better" at being Catholic--even though people in my parish may come away with that idea. I don't send them because unless I know the teacher personally, I think that I put my kids at risk of being given wrong information. This is why I would also have difficulty sending them to Catholic school--again, unless I really knew the faithfulness of the principal and teachers.

 

Getting wrong information from a person in authority is very damaging, because kids always think that teachers know more than parents. :tongue_smilie: (They do really think that!) I don't want to find myself in the position of arguing with my kids about why the teacher is wrong. Plus, most of the time I will never be aware of any wrong they are taught!

 

I have been a very lapse cradle Catholic. My Catholic school experience was about rules or burning in hell. Never the beauty and the why of our faith. This is the exact polar opposite of the experience that my own children have received in their Catholic school. I have been actually jealous of the religion classes and the loving environment that my children have been a part of at their school. I wish I had been so lucky as a child because I am sure I would be a different person today.

 

The decision to HS has been especially difficult for me to contemplate in terms of religion because I feel that the teachers were doing a far better job of instilling and modeling their faith for my children than I could. So much so that a tiny spark for the CC has been rekindled in my heretofore dead heart. I have worried about how in the world I would teach my children a faith that I had mostly abandoned (but not all the way). I must say that reading these Catholic threads has been extremely enlightening and encouraging. You may not have been intending to be evangelicals, yet your words do reach out and touch others in a very beautiful way. Thank you!

 

I also want to warn you that I may be posting questions asking for help about why in the world we do certain things. I refuse to give my children the answers I received from nuns, "Because it is a sin otherwise" or "Because I said so." I refuse to hand them a load of guilt. I think it is about time I got off my lapse rear-end and started reading that catechism for myself. I have already bookmarked the Catholics Come Home webpage. Thanks for your discussions. They are wonderful!

[WishboneDawn]

I want to stress what Martha said here. NO ONE is paying attention to what you do or what you don't do. Really. Don't worry about getting something wrong.

 

Yup. I avoided church for years because I just didn't know what to do there. Our visits to church as kids were infrequent and ended well before I was a teenager. My first communion as an adult was actually part of my Education for Ministry course.

 

I was soooo afraid I'd mess something up. But the thing is, people mess stuff up ALL the time in church. The minister has a brain fart in the middle of the homily, a reader stumbles over OT names (me!!! :D),a toddler decides to run screaming up to the organist, someone else starts singing the wrong words to a hymn. It's part of church life. You're not going to be a perfect performer, you're going to take part in the life of the church, the community, and as with ANY community event stuff happens and no one bats an eye or thinks ill of you.

[cathmom]

 

 

The bells signify when the bread and the wine become the blood and body. (kids always ask this one)

 

 

 

**sigh** the bells, I miss the bells...

 

they don't use them in my diocese...

[asta]

Two times I've had guest priests read the previous week's Gospel reading. The second one, upon realizing what he had done, laughed and said "well, obviously the Holy Spirit thought someone here needed to hear that one again" (it was about Thomas doubting the presence of the Lord after the resurrection).

 

Fire alarms going off, blaring "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT" to our brand new priest.

 

The organist not showing up and the priest running the mass AND the choir (by playing the organ) and just depending on the altar kids to bring everything up properly.

 

Having the Bishop show up out of nowhere (no small feat when you're in a foreign country, let me tell you...), during a blizzard that had closed most of the roads... that was a weird one.

 

Clothes? Eh. God knows what you look like.

 

If you want to know what the readings will be, go here. (I'm assuming you'll be going to an American church).

 

 

a

[Parrothead]

I have been a very lapse cradle Catholic. My Catholic school experience was about rules or burning in hell. Never the beauty and the why of our faith. This is the exact polar opposite of the experience that my own children have received in their Catholic school. I have been actually jealous of the religion classes and the loving environment that my children have been a part of at their school. I wish I had been so lucky as a child because I am sure I would be a different person today.

 

The decision to HS has been especially difficult for me to contemplate in terms of religion because I feel that the teachers were doing a far better job of instilling and modeling their faith for my children than I could. So much so that a tiny spark for the CC has been rekindled in my heretofore dead heart. I have worried about how in the world I would teach my children a faith that I had mostly abandoned (but not all the way). I must say that reading these Catholic threads has been extremely enlightening and encouraging. You may not have been intending to be evangelicals, yet your words do reach out and touch others in a very beautiful way. Thank you!

 

I also want to warn you that I may be posting questions asking for help about why in the world we do certain things. I refuse to give my children the answers I received from nuns, "Because it is a sin otherwise" or "Because I said so." I refuse to hand them a load of guilt. I think it is about time I got off my lapse rear-end and started reading that catechism for myself. I have already bookmarked the Catholics Come Home webpage. Thanks for your discussions. They are wonderful!

:grouphug: Once I started praying for wisdom to know what God wanted me to know I was bombarded with information and situations were I had to look for information. I will pray for you.

 

Yes, by all means ask questions. You can be pretty sure if you have a question someone else does to.

[Parrothead]

Yup. I avoided church for years because I just didn't know what to do there. Our visits to church as kids were infrequent and ended well before I was a teenager. My first communion as an adult was actually part of my Education for Ministry course.

 

I was soooo afraid I'd mess something up. But the thing is, people mess stuff up ALL the time in church. The minister has a brain fart in the middle of the homily, a reader stumbles over OT names (me!!! :D),a toddler decides to run screaming up to the organist, someone else starts singing the wrong words to a hymn. It's part of church life.

And no matter how badly one thinks one has messed up, one has the knowledge the one's child will not yell out "I've got Mommy's boobie!" during a moment of silence.

[Education Explorers]

:grouphug: Once I started praying for wisdom to know what God wanted me to know I was bombarded with information and situations were I had to look for information. I will pray for you.

 

Yes, by all means ask questions. You can be pretty sure if you have a question someone else does to.

 

Thank you! I appreciate your prayers. As we begin this HS adventure, I know I am going to truly need them! It is amazing how many things are falling into my path or to my attention since this whole decision process was begun. If I didn't believe in God, I would think that the Universe was sending me some pretty big signs and hints. Since I do, it kinda freaks me out (in a humbled sort of way) that He is bothering to send me signs. Seems like He would have more important things to be working on right now. But I guess I need to pay attention to what I say to my own children about God loving them. Maybe I should listen once in awhile?

[Violet Crown]

Unless you are attending a Latin mass, wear whatever will make you more comfortable while there. Latin mass tends to be more formal "Sunday best" style.

Just in case anyone, Catholic or non-Catholic, feels like attending the Latin Mass (a/k/a TLM or Tridentine Mass), please know that there are really no dress code expectations, particularly for visitors, other than that dress be reasonably modest--by normal societal standards, not by any elevated standard. There are plenty of business suits and long skirts, but also plenty of pants on women and khakhis or jeans on men.

 

No woman is expected to cover her head: most of the regular attendees do, but many regular Latin Mass-going women don't ever wear a veil or hat or scarf, and few visitors do.

 

A firefighter friend of mine once was driving home from his shift and realized he could still make Mass that Sunday if he stopped in at the Latin Mass. Under their firefighting clothes, the guys wear shorts and t-shirts in the hot Texas weather, and that, with flipflops on his feet, was his sweaty "work uniform" that day. So that's what he wore to the Latin Mass. Nobody batted an eye. I'm very glad he didn't let self-consciousness keep him from getting to Mass that Sunday!

 

Really, under the chapel veils we're just normal Catholics who happen to like the 1962 Mass. It would be far too exhausting to spend our time at Mass judging other people's clothes.

[Violet Crown]

 

Hearing the difference between the sermons (correct me if my terminology is wrong) at the Catholic church and the Baptist ones, though, is a major reason as to why kids are in their own classes. Frankly, we didn't want the infant to preschool age listening to the Baptist pastor for almost an hour about adultery, immorality, or marital relations (not every week, of course.) At the Catholic church, the message from Psalm 23 was more family-friendly.

I have heard a couple of Catholic homilies that addressed the abuse scandal, but the priest (bishop once) spoke allusively in a kind of code for adults, so that it went over the heads of little people.

[wapiti]

Dumb question about the Latin mass: what language is the homily in?

[WishboneDawn]

Dumb question about the Latin mass: what language is the homily in?

 

The language of the parishioners I'd guess. :)

[Violet Crown]

Dumb question about the Latin mass: what language is the homily in?

Yes, as WishboneDawn says, the homily is in the vernacular.

 

The readings are said or sung in Latin; however they are always then read in the vernacular at the beginning of the homily. In some places, someone else reads the readings in the vernacular to the congregation while the priest is reading them (quietly) at the altar, sort of like at the UN :D. I gather this is common at Latin Masses in France.

[Teachin'Mine]

Ok, I've decided to attend the 7:30 (eek!) Mass tomorrow morning. DH will not be going, but I am going to try to take both DC. (Unless DS stays with my MIL tonight... that would make this sooo much easier, I think.)

 

What can I expect? And is it really okay to have my kids in the Mass with me? (I've never been in a church that didn't generally expect kids to be in Sunday School or Children's Church during the main service.) Ok, last question (for now)... what should I wear? (I know this is the least important issue, but I always feel more comfortable in a church if I'm wearing the same kinds of clothing that the regular attenders are, KWIM?

 

You've been given great advice. One thing I would add is that while it's great to sit up front to be able to see everything easily and for the kids to keep their attention better, it's easier to be back just a couple of rows so you can easily follow the actions of the other people at mass. Once you get to know when to sit, stand and kneel, then you can sit comfortably in the front row. :)

 

If you want, you can also mention to one of the greeters that you're new to the Catholic Church and are going to a mass for the first time. Then you can ask if there is someone you could sit near to get some gentle guidance on where to find everything in the missal, etc.. Just a thought.

 

Enjoy the Mass!!!

[KristinaBreece]

Unless you are attending a Latin mass, wear whatever will make you more comfortable while there. Latin mass tends to be more formal "Sunday best" style. Any other parish in any given Sunday will have a wide mix of shorts, jeans, dresses... So unless you show in holely stained sweats, you'll be fine. And pending on the parish even that might be seen. (some parishes are in areas with a high rate of homeless people that come in to stay cool or whatever)

 

Yes, it is always okay to bring your kids. If they get too unruly or loud, it is normal to see people stand up and take a quick minute in the back to settle them down and return. Personal hint: if you sit up front where the kids can see, IME, they tend to be engaged enough to behave better.

 

You will not be the only person to stay sitting while other go up for communion/Eucharist. So don't feel weird about it. Typically there is one or two in many pews that stay sitting. However, you can get a blessing instead by crossing your hands over your chest. Get in line like everyone else, only instead of bowing and putting your hand/tongue out for the wafer, you keep your hands crossed over your chest and the priest will know you can't receive, but would like a blessing.

 

There are usually missels when you enter the church or as you enter the congregation area. If you grab one and turn to the date of the mass you are attending, it will give a general guide for you. When to sit/stand/kneel. What biblical passages are being read and prayers to say and so forth.

 

Bending to one knee (aka genuflecting) in the direction of the tabernacle (look for red candle near alter) is like saying hello/goodbye when you enter someone's house, in this case the house of God. It is done before you enter the pew and as you leave the pew. You won't be the only one to forget or who can't so don't feel people are judging you if you don't. I just thought I would note that is why it is done. It is an acknowledgement of the Holy Person you are there to visit. It is always done when approaching or leaving the alter too.

 

The bells signify when the bread and the wine become the blood and body. (kids always ask this one)

 

That's all I can think of at the moment, which might be too much.

 

Just go. Don't worry about looking like you fit in or know all the protocols.

You are welcome and everyone there is there seeking the same as you.

:D

 

I want to stress what Martha said here. NO ONE is paying attention to what you do or what you don't do. Really. Don't worry about getting something wrong.

 

And also, she's right about sitting up front, the kids will enjoy everything much better that way. There's a lot of action to watch! :D

 

And everything is symbolic so if you have questions, come back and ask and the ladies will explain what everything meant.

 

:hurray:

 

 

If you really want to research it you can go here to see the Order of the Mass.

 

Since Sunday is the last Sunday of Easter you'll get sprinkled with Holy Water. Generally people will be crossing themselves when the water gets sprinkled on them.

 

I agree with Martha, sit up front where the kids can see what is going on. It is actually very interesting to watch. Point out the alter server(s). It is also okay to bring books, paper and crayons for the kids to occupy themselves during the homily and other times they are bored. Some kids get small snacks to help keep them quite. I used to give dd fruit snacks to help keep her mouth closed.

 

Wear whatever makes you feel comfortable. Dressing down was difficult for dh when he first started going. If you are more comfortable dressing up just a bit, go ahead. There are always ladies in dresses/skirts and always a few men in a suit. Head covering is optional.

 

The Missal is a bit convoluted if you are not used to using one. If you find yourself struggling to follow along, just ditch the thing.

 

Above all else, enjoy being there.

 

Your children are welcome to attend mass. :001_smile: I prefer to dress up a little, but we also see people in casual clothing. HTH

 

Two times I've had guest priests read the previous week's Gospel reading. The second one, upon realizing what he had done, laughed and said "well, obviously the Holy Spirit thought someone here needed to hear that one again" (it was about Thomas doubting the presence of the Lord after the resurrection).

 

Fire alarms going off, blaring "GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT" to our brand new priest.

 

The organist not showing up and the priest running the mass AND the choir (by playing the organ) and just depending on the altar kids to bring everything up properly.

 

Having the Bishop show up out of nowhere (no small feat when you're in a foreign country, let me tell you...), during a blizzard that had closed most of the roads... that was a weird one.

 

Clothes? Eh. God knows what you look like.

 

If you want to know what the readings will be, go here. (I'm assuming you'll be going to an American church).

 

 

a

 

You've been given great advice. One thing I would add is that while it's great to sit up front to be able to see everything easily and for the kids to keep their attention better' date=' it's easier to be back just a couple of rows so you can easily follow the actions of the other people at mass. Once you get to know when to sit, stand and kneel, then you can sit comfortably in the front row. :)

 

If you want, you can also mention to one of the greeters that you're new to the Catholic Church and are going to a mass for the first time. Then you can ask if there is someone you could sit near to get some gentle guidance on where to find everything in the missal, etc.. Just a thought.

 

Enjoy the Mass!!![/quote']

 

Thank you all! I've always been interested in the Catholic faith, but have been intimidated by it at the same time, KWIM? It helps so much to have

real Catholics to discuss this with in preparation. (I'm not sure I know any practicing Catholics IRL-- I went to high school with a couple of Easter/Christmas cradle Catholics... but that's just not the same.)

[Ellesmere]

I just can't fathom children not being allowed to be present at a religious service.

 

A priest's homily usually lasts no more than 15 minutes, and while not full of euphemism won't generally earn more than a PG rating.

 

Ah, there's a huge difference. The sermon at the churches I've been to is at least 35 minutes, sometimes 45-50 minutes and the service is specifically set up for older kids to adults. It's not policy or anything, but it is considered very strange to even sit outside with your baby and listen. You would be offered the nursery service or perhaps highly encouraged to use it. Part of this idea comes from a particular interpretation of some verses, and some of it comes from the parenting style promoted within these churches.

 

So you can see why I was so surprised about the priest's instructions to calm and comfort the babies during the Mass. Is this the norm at Catholic churches?

 

I have heard a couple of Catholic homilies that addressed the abuse scandal, but the priest (bishop once) spoke allusively in a kind of code for adults, so that it went over the heads of little people.

I see. The sermons I referred to used fairly discreet language but they definitely would have raised questions for little ones. But again, the service and sermons are really designed to have the young ones absent.

[Aquinas Academy]

So you can see why I was so surprised about the priest's instructions to calm and comfort the babies during the Mass. Is this the norm at Catholic churches?

 

Babies and young children are welcome at every Mass I have ever been to (this is in parishes throughout the US and Canada). I would be absolutely shocked if a priest told me I should not bring my children to Mass.

[brehon]

And no matter how badly one thinks one has messed up, one has the knowledge the one's child will not yell out "I've got Mommy's boobie!" during a moment of silence.

 

Only because I was up in the choir loft and said child was w/dh in the pews.

 

Oh, wait...maybe you weren't talking about me? :leaving:

 

I have heard a couple of Catholic homilies that addressed the abuse scandal, but the priest (bishop once) spoke allusively in a kind of code for adults, so that it went over the heads of little people.

 

I was at a Mass where this topic was discussed. Bishop McC. gave the homily and, you're right, the particulars went right over the heads of any children who happened to have been there.

[asta]

On the subject of Homilies:

 

Homilies aren't "preaching" in the sense that I think most non-Catholics think of "preaching".

 

Homilies are when the Priest takes the ideas presented in the readings (usually an OT reading, a NT reading and a Gospel - but not always) and kind of... puts them in context for the modern person.

 

This is what we mean when we talk about the oral tradition being so important to being a "living" church.

 

What good would it do your average person, sitting in a pew in 2011, to hear about something that happened in Samaria almost 2000 years ago (within a *completely* different cultural context) if they can't relate it to their daily life? Not much, that's what.

 

Yet, somehow, it isn't turned into a warped "Jesus was a rock star" thing. Instead, it is a lesson in the timelessness of the message.

 

 

a

[milovany]

Homilies aren't "preaching" in the sense that I think most non-Catholics think of "preaching".

 

Homilies are when the Priest takes the ideas presented in the readings (usually an OT reading, a NT reading and a Gospel - but not always) and kind of... puts them in context for the modern person.

 

 

When I was protestant, I would have said that this is exactly what the sermons were -- the preacher putting the Scripture into today's context. But a major difference, I think, (at least in Orthodoxy, and I think probably in the Catholic church -- you can correct me if I'm wrong) is that the homilies our priests give are all based on what the church fathers and saints through the ages have taught, all of which is in agreement; meaning the faith is the same through the ages. A homily from the 2nd century would "preach" just the same as a homily given in any Orthodox church in the world today. Whereas, in the protestant church, the preaching I remember was the preacher's personal interpretation / understanding of the Scriptures based on their own study. And the message he comes up with might not necessarily go over well in another congregation/denomination. At least that's what I think I remember -- it's starting to get fooggggyy ...

Edited May 29, 2011 by milovaný

[asta]

Not quite. The RCC puts out 'guidelines' of a sort regarding homilies. This keeps everything in line with Church teachings while accounting for the fact that the RCC "incorporates" local customs into masses wherever they go in the world.

 

So I guess you could say that all priests start with the same "base" and go from there according to their population.

 

 

a

[Carol in Cal.]

When I was protestant, I would have said that this is exactly what the sermons were -- the preacher putting the Scripture into today's context. But a major difference, I think, (at least in Orthodoxy, and I think probably in the Catholic church -- you can correct me if I'm wrong) is that the homilies our priests give are all based on what the church fathers and saints through the ages have taught, all of which is in agreement; meaning the faith is the same through the ages. A homily from the 2nd century would "preach" just the same as a homily given in any Orthodox church in the world today. Whereas, in the protestant church, the preaching I remember was the preacher's personal interpretation / understanding of the Scriptures based on their own study. And the message he comes up with might not necessarily go over well in another congregation/denomination. At least that's what I think I remember -- it's starting to get fooggggyy ...

 

I heard recently that in Orthodox churches the sermons are translations of ancient ones, and are told all over the world on the same day, and likewise the hymns are the same each year on that particular Sunday (although I think they varied from language to language?) Is that right?

[Carol in Cal.]

In the Lutheran church there is a tremendous focus on pastor formation and education. The pastors have to learn Greek and Hebrew, and many of them also know Latin and one or more modern European language--often German--in which there is a lot of theological writing.

 

Pastors take formal classes in leading the liturgy and homiletics, and they have one year of vicarage training in a parish under a supervising pastor as part of their seminary training, as well as field work near the seminary while they are physically studying there for 3 years. They often refer to Greek and Hebrew in studying the Bible readings (pericopes) for the Sunday, and their mission is supposed to be to use one or more of those readings and say what God meant by it.

 

So you will rarely see a pastor depart from those texts to preach on some other part of the Bible, and never would one preach without a text. Never. It's unthinkable.

 

This grounds the preaching in carefully prepared sermons that include in depth knowledge of the text, and the question is not, 'What does this mean for me" but rather, "What does God mean here?" So the sermons tend to be rather timeless. Topical teaching and in depth study of non-pericope passages do occur, but in Bible classes, which are usually age-segregated. It's VERY uncommon for the Divine Service to be set up with concurrent children's programs, as we believe that all the Christians should go to church together, and this probably influences the sermon content somewhat as well. Personally, I would not attend a church that didn't encourage young children to participate in the Divine Service.

[asta]

@Carol,

 

The two most highly educated religious people I know (outside of the RCC) are a Lutheran pastor and an LDS pastor. Philosophy, Greek, Latin, History, etc.

 

The LDS pastor is both scary smart and educated (I don't mean that in a bad way, I mean that he had a triple BA/BS by 22, a couple of MAs by his late 20s early 30s, and has his PhD - and he isn't even 45).

 

You see that in the RCC (I think) more easily because priests aren't balancing school and family. When I see it outside of the RCC, all I can think is WOW.

 

 

a

[Michele B]

I think they can. But if you ask Catholics if they worship Mary, and then then tell you that they don't, continuing to insist that they do because some Catholics seem like they do isn't my definition of respectful. Btw, I am not accusing you of doing this, but it does happen all the time. Just because some Catholics are in some way superstitious doesn't generalize.

 

I call it taking jabs when people drop in with random comments and then are surprised when someone calls them on it. Like when someone tells you how crazy and unsocialized homeschoolers are -- oh, but they didn't mean you. Just that crazy neighbor of theirs and all the other homeschoolers they have met. ;)

 

I have no problem with people disagreeing. Just disagree with something we really disagree on. There is still plenty of that. Don't tell me I believe something I don't and then try to argue with me about it.

 

I cannot imagine jumping into a religious thread for another faith and defining their terms for them. That to me is rude. Again, this is not personally directed at you. Just the tendency that every time this issue comes up, we have anecdotal evidence that some people really do think what the issue is, so that somehow makes it ok to keep dredging up the misinformation over and over.

 

What if I said blondes are dumb? I have met dumb blondes. So now, that gives me the right to comment on every blonde thread that they are dumb. Even if you know a blonde Phd, I can still throw in the dumb ones I know to make a point. But why would I? Wouldn't that be rude? (of course, I know this isn't true. I happen to have a blonde DD who is a genius!:D). But it is the point I am trying to make about anecdotal evidence being used to discredit Catholic positions over and over.

 

Nobody wants to be judged by their least knowledgable adherents anyhow. I can only defend the official position of the Church. I can't defend the position of poorly catechized Catholics or people who remain in the Catholic Church but no longer believe in her doctrines. Are there poorly catechized, superstitious people? Yes. Should they be made to be representative of the Church as a whole? No.

 

Excellent!

[WishboneDawn]

In the Lutheran church there is a tremendous focus on pastor formation and education. The pastors have to learn Greek and Hebrew, and many of them also know Latin and one or more modern European language--often German--in which there is a lot of theological writing.

...

 

 

Sounds a lot like the Anglican church. My minister took reads German and Koine Greek and whenever I have a question about philosophy of the Classical world he's there to discuss it with me. :)

[Parrothead]

Ah, there's a huge difference. The sermon at the churches I've been to is at least 35 minutes, sometimes 45-50 minutes and the service is specifically set up for older kids to adults. It's not policy or anything, but it is considered very strange to even sit outside with your baby and listen. You would be offered the nursery service or perhaps highly encouraged to use it. Part of this idea comes from a particular interpretation of some verses, and some of it comes from the parenting style promoted within these churches.

 

So you can see why I was so surprised about the priest's instructions to calm and comfort the babies during the Mass. Is this the norm at Catholic churches?

 

 

I see. The sermons I referred to used fairly discreet language but they definitely would have raised questions for little ones. But again, the service and sermons are really designed to have the young ones absent.

Oh, yes. Absolutely.

[mommaduck]

I heard recently that in Orthodox churches the sermons are translations of ancient ones, and are told all over the world on the same day, and likewise the hymns are the same each year on that particular Sunday (although I think they varied from language to language?) Is that right?

 

No, the readings are the same...the homilies (brief sermons) will be about the readings (or the day...example, if it's the day of Saint Mary of the Desert) and made applicable to us and our daily lives.

[KristinaBreece]

Chucki, I'm home!

 

We made it to the 7:30 Mass.

 

There was no music at all. :001_huh: I don't know if this is normal for our local parish, or if it was because the homily was done by a speaker from Feed the Poor, so things were different than usual today. If this is their norm, I'll have to go somewhere else. I NEED music. (If I could find a church with a full orchestra, I almost wouldn't care what denomination they were-- if I could see that they were truth-seeking I would be hooked, and auditioning for a horn spot faster than you could say membership. ;))

 

What I was impressed by was the tolerance of the people around me for my DC. I strongly suspect that DS is ADHD-- or maybe just a 4 year old boy. :D He tried really hard to be good, and he didn't want to color, he did his best to follow the missal & do what he was supposed to. But once in a while, when it was time to stand, he would stretch out behind me & try to tickle his sister. :glare: Also, while he was sitting, he kept raising & lowering the kneeling bar in front of us. I think he just needed to be doing something. DD got a little wiggly there at the end, climbing up onto the pew, and down onto the floor & dancing around a bit. The people sitting beside us were very kind about it. The littles got smiles & handshakes, and a peace sign from one of my high school basketball coaches who was sitting across the aisle.

 

I didn't talk to anyone, which was very different than my experiences in Protestant churches I've attended-- I've had a lot of people try to "sell" different churches to me over the years. However, if I had gotten there more then 5 minutes before it was time to start, that may have been different. IDK.

 

All in all, I liked it very much. I'll be going back next week, but maybe at a different time. 9:00 maybe, or 12:15. Hmmm.... maybe even Saturday at 4.

[mommaduck]

Chucki, I'm home!

 

We made it to the 7:30 Mass.

 

There was no music at all. :001_huh: I don't know if this is normal for our local parish, or if it was because the homily was done by a speaker from Feed the Poor, so things were different than usual today. If this is their norm, I'll have to go somewhere else. I NEED music. (If I could find a church with a full orchestra, I almost wouldn't care what denomination they were-- if I could see that they were truth-seeking I would be hooked, and auditioning for a horn spot faster than you could say membership. ;))

 

What I was impressed by was the tolerance of the people around me for my DC. I strongly suspect that DS is ADHD-- or maybe just a 4 year old boy. :D He tried really hard to be good, and he didn't want to color, he did his best to follow the missal & do what he was supposed to. But once in a while, when it was time to stand, he would stretch out behind me & try to tickle his sister. :glare: Also, while he was sitting, he kept raising & lowering the kneeling bar in front of us. I think he just needed to be doing something. DD got a little wiggly there at the end, climbing up onto the pew, and down onto the floor & dancing around a bit. The people sitting beside us were very kind about it. The littles got smiles & handshakes, and a peace sign from one of my high school basketball coaches who was sitting across the aisle.

 

I didn't talk to anyone, which was very different than my experiences in Protestant churches I've attended-- I've had a lot of people try to "sell" different churches to me over the years. However, if I had gotten there more then 5 minutes before it was time to start, that may have been different. IDK.

 

All in all, I liked it very much. I'll be going back next week, but maybe at a different time. 9:00 maybe, or 12:15. Hmmm.... maybe even Saturday at 4.

That's wonderful. We have an elderly man in our parish that my 4yr old sits with and he has quiet conversations with her during service. She stands with him, sits with him, etc. Sometimes she runs off to her godfather. One Sunday we heard "HI, MOM!" from the balcony...silly godfather had instigated her into that one (would it surprise you to know that he's the kid of our retired priest? :lol: )

[Murphy101]

Chucki, I'm home!

 

We made it to the 7:30 Mass.

 

There was no music at all. :001_huh: I don't know if this is normal for our local parish, or if it was because the homily was done by a speaker from Feed the Poor, so things were different than usual today. If this is their norm, I'll have to go somewhere else. I NEED music. (If I could find a church with a full orchestra, I almost wouldn't care what denomination they were-- if I could see that they were truth-seeking I would be hooked, and auditioning for a horn spot faster than you could say membership. ;))

 

I'm betting it was a low mass and that was why there was no music. If you go to a later mass, I bet they have music at those.

 

It's just a matter of personal style. I love a near silent mass. It is so peaceful and tranquil and there are no distractions for me or the kids.

 

What I was impressed by was the tolerance of the people around me for my DC.

 

The people sitting beside us were very kind about it. The littles got smiles & handshakes, and a peace sign from one of my high school basketball coaches who was sitting across the aisle.

 

Sounds like a 4 yr old boy in a new surrounding to me. Typical reaction all around.

 

I didn't talk to anyone, which was very different than my experiences in Protestant churches I've attended-- I've had a lot of people try to "sell" different churches to me over the years. However, if I had gotten there more then 5 minutes before it was time to start, that may have been different. IDK.

 

I have never ever had anyone try to sell me on their parish or RCC in general. Most won't talk to you much while you are in the pew because they presume you are there to worship and they don't want to interrupt. It wouldn't matter if you were there half an hour early or stayed over. Now on the way out, I have people stop and say hi, or say how good the kids were or just idle nice stuff like that. Shake hands with the priest and exchange a few words as you leave.

 

For the most part, everyone presumes Jesus can sell himself to anyone who has come seeking Him and they presume if you are in the pew - then that is what you are doing. They have RCIA and other resources for people who have more questions. No pressure ever that I am aware of.

 

Glad that overall you had a good experience!

[nono]

Chucki, I'm home!

 

We made it to the 7:30 Mass.

 

There was no music at all. :001_huh: .

 

Dudette, that's the payoff for getting up and out early -- quieter Mass! :D (Works the same way around here for Episcopalian and RC).

[Teachin'Mine]

Yup. Typically the early morning Masses are without music, or less than the full choir. If you pick up a bulletin - they hand them out after Mass - you can look and see which Mass has the full choir. I'll bet they'd love to have a horn - especially for the Christmas season!!! :) You can also access their website and see if the information is there, or call the rectory and ask.

 

I think your kids did great - especially for the first time. :) Books can help to keep little hands busy. Do you have a picture Bible or a children's story of the parables? That would be awesome as they'd be learning even from the pictures. :)

 

Regarding the homily, there are a few random times a year that the sermon will be omitted to allow for a special speaker - often a missionary. You should have a regular homily next Sunday.

Edited May 29, 2011 by Teachin'Mine

[asta]

Chucki, I'm home!

 

We made it to the 7:30 Mass.

 

There was no music at all. :001_huh: I don't know if this is normal for our local parish, or if it was because the homily was done by a speaker from Feed the Poor, so things were different than usual today. If this is their norm, I'll have to go somewhere else. I NEED music. (If I could find a church with a full orchestra, I almost wouldn't care what denomination they were-- if I could see that they were truth-seeking I would be hooked, and auditioning for a horn spot faster than you could say membership. ;))

 

What I was impressed by was the tolerance of the people around me for my DC. I strongly suspect that DS is ADHD-- or maybe just a 4 year old boy. :D He tried really hard to be good, and he didn't want to color, he did his best to follow the missal & do what he was supposed to. But once in a while, when it was time to stand, he would stretch out behind me & try to tickle his sister. :glare: Also, while he was sitting, he kept raising & lowering the kneeling bar in front of us. I think he just needed to be doing something. DD got a little wiggly there at the end, climbing up onto the pew, and down onto the floor & dancing around a bit. The people sitting beside us were very kind about it. The littles got smiles & handshakes, and a peace sign from one of my high school basketball coaches who was sitting across the aisle.

 

I didn't talk to anyone, which was very different than my experiences in Protestant churches I've attended-- I've had a lot of people try to "sell" different churches to me over the years. However, if I had gotten there more then 5 minutes before it was time to start, that may have been different. IDK.

 

All in all, I liked it very much. I'll be going back next week, but maybe at a different time. 9:00 maybe, or 12:15. Hmmm.... maybe even Saturday at 4.

 

7:30 masses never seem to have music for some reason. Maybe musicians aren't awake that early.

 

------

 

DS & DH say: "Come to the dark side... we have donuts."

 

 

a

[milovany]

No, the readings are the same...the homilies (brief sermons) will be about the readings (or the day...example, if it's the day of Saint Mary of the Desert) and made applicable to us and our daily lives.

 

Occasionally our priest will read a centuries-old homily -- maybe on Pascha or Nativity, or the Dormition of the Theotokos, etc. But usually, as mommaduck said, the messages are ones the priests come up with. My point was supposed to be that they messages that they come up with are based within the faith that has been passed down for centuries; not upon their own personal interpretation of the day's readings.

[dirty ethel rackham]

And no matter how badly one thinks one has messed up, one has the knowledge the one's child will not yell out "I've got Mommy's boobie!" during a moment of silence.

 

:lol::lol: Oh, my! We had some doozies, but none like that:).

 

One more tip. Practice whispering with the children at home... play games whispering. That is how my children learned to use their quiet voices in church. However, they are children and they will forget.:tongue_smilie:

[Michele B]

I have been skimming this thread, so perhaps this has been noted already. I'm not quite sure why the idea of relics or "magical bones," as one poster put it, is something Catholics need to either back away from or defend: the Bible defends it quite well. (as do the testimonies of those healed)

 

Acts 19:11&12 RSV "And God did extraordinary miracles by the hands of Paul so that handkerchiefs or aprons were carried away from his body to the sick, and diseases left them and the evil spirits came out of them."

 

2 Kings 13:21/ 4 Kingdoms 13:21

"And it came to pass, as they were burying a man, they beheld a lightly armed band of raiders, and cast the man into the tomb of Elisha. When the man touched the bones of Elisha, he revived and stood up on his feet."

 

It is difficult to read those two passages and not allow the possibility of healing from saints' relics.

 

Edited to add: Maybe I read the thing about "magical bones" on another thread I was trying not to get involved in because I cannot find the reference now. Oh, well, I'll leave it just in case it helps anyone.

Edited May 29, 2011 by Michele B
spelling,

[Michele B]

As for misconceptions, years ago, as I stooped down to pick something up, a Baptist relative stooped down and grabbed my hand, and told me that Jesus died for my sins so I would not have to live under the Old Law anymore. By "Old Law," she meant Catholics. :)

Edited May 29, 2011 by Michele B
spelling

[Michele B]

Another common misconception is about praying the Hail Mary. The "Hail Mary" prayer is mostly Scripture. "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee" is what the angel Gabriel said to Mary. "Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb," is what Elizabeth said to Mary. Then it's "Holy Mary, Mother of God" which doesn't say anything about Mary, but about Jesus. The debate was that Jesus was only human, and the Mother of God title was given to show that Jesus was both fully human and fully divine. And then it's just "pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death. Amen." We're just asking Mary to pray for us.

 

When I explained it that way to my mil, she was blown away after all of these years thinking it was wrong to pray the Hail Mary.

 

I mentioned that to a dear friend who is Calvinist. Her response: it is in the Bible, but "it doesn't mean what you think it means!" :lol:

[C_l_e_0..Q_c]

**sigh** the bells, I miss the bells...

they don't use them in my diocese...

 

That's sad! I've never heard of a diocese that wouldn't use bells. I've been to masses where they were not used, but at the regular mass, always!

 

 

Babies and young children are welcome at every Mass I have ever been to (this is in parishes throughout the US and Canada). I would be absolutely shocked if a priest told me I should not bring my children to Mass.

 

Same in Quebec (for once!) My local homeschool coop is looking at possibly renting some space at my church. Someone asked me if we could also rent the nursery. Hmm, nursery? We don't have a nursery here...

 

I went to English Mass this morning, instead of French Mass. That was weird. I've gotten used to the fact that I knew a lot of people at Mass, this morning, I knew almost no one. Maybe 2 people at most. I felt like I was visiting, but the priest knew me of course, and gave me Communion in French ;-)