Anger Managment...

[Mynyel]

How or where do you get it? Would going to a psychologist/psychiatrist help? I am not talking about how not to hit people or punch holes in walls :D I am also not talking about counting to 10 or any other such thing. Counting doesn't work. I am talking about constantly feeling grumpy, irritated, like bad PMS but it is every. single. day. Always on the verge or a blow up, and I mean teeter tottering on the precipice of just blowing your stack. There has to be a pill or something that can help.

 

Suggestions?

[LauraGB]

I don't think it's a pill or a diagnosis, based on what you explain. I think it's regaining control of your life. I think it's getting everyone on board to change the dynamic in the household, or just saying "screw it" and changing it on your own and hope like crazy every one follows suit, and if they don't, well, bummer.

 

I'll let you know how it goes when I get there ;)

 

I think I get it, though. Really :glare:. So, :grouphug:.

[Jumping In Puddles]

My mom used to feel this way when I was a teenager (needless to say it wasn't pleasant for me! lol) but she went to a doctor and told her about how irritable she was and he gave her B12 shots to try... OH MY GOODNESS! It was like a different person, she was so calm and even and nice once she started taking the shots. She was also told to cut coffee consumption way down.

[AngelBee]

:grouphug:

[kalanamak]

 

Suggestions?

 

Personally, I would go to a counselor. There are some terrific social work counselors, so rather than looking at the degree, look for the person respected in your area. IF, after looking at the situation carefully, they think a trial of meds will help, they can refer to you to either a psychiatrist, or they can send their report to your PMD who may be willing to prescribe. I did that quite a bit for my patients, as we are woefully short of psychiatrists in my area.

 

Chronic grumpiness can be masking anything from depression to a physical illness, but if it has been a life-long characteristic, it is less likely to be a physical illness. If it is a new thing, you may want to see your doc for thyroid, iron, B12 type things.

 

I cannot tell you how often a woman would come see me for this kind of thing, and it would turn out she was being really unfairly treated at home. E.g. I recall one woman whose husband had enabled the 12 year old to rule the roost, and clearly favored her over his wife. I didn't bring up the horrible thought I had, as I felt the woman really needed a counselor, not meds or a 15 minute confrontation at her doctor's office. Not saying this is going on with you, just that you should talk to someone good at this kind of thing.

HTH.

[GinaPagnato]

I get like this after being under stress for a longer than normal period of time. We've got some specific challenges in our home that necessitate me always being "ON" and always anticipating the next task that must be completed. I find that when we're in a particularly difficult season I feel that way and am constantly on the verge of a meltdown.

 

For me, it means I need to rest. As in, more sleep. Also, lowered expectations of myself and those around me. Plus lots and lots of prayer :)

 

Good luck, and :grouphug:. I know how it can be.

[Jamee]

I was like this too and it's awful. When I discussed it with my doc, she suggested it sounded a lot like PMDD--along with my other symptoms. (pre-mentrual disphoric disorder) I went on an antidepressant, but only for a couple weeks every month. It made a HUGE change and I was "me" again. It's been such a relief. This might be something to talk to your doctor with to see if it's hormonal or what not. :grouphug:

[Mynyel]

It's chronic, I have been this way, well since at least after I had ds9 or so. It has been worse since ds3 was born.

 

It isn't any particular time of of month, I just use PMS as an example. I do get worse around that time of month though.

 

I will say it does help when I take St. Johns Wort but I have to remember to take it several times a day and I can't remember, I just can't. I have too much other stuff to do so it just goes out the window. I wish it came in a one dose for the day pill, then it would be better.

 

I think I am going to try the B12, I do take a B Complex but it doesn't have much B12 in it.

 

I will have to do some research on people around here. I don't know how I am going to see someone. My dh would think I went off the deep end if I said I wanted to see someone and I can't exactly see someone on the sly :)

 

ETA: My Mom was this exact same way. I am doing the same thing she used too. So maybe it is something genetic? I remember her being grumpy all the time just like me.

[texasmama]

Personally, I would go to a counselor. There are some terrific social work counselors, so rather than looking at the degree, look for the person respected in your area. IF, after looking at the situation carefully, they think a trial of meds will help, they can refer to you to either a psychiatrist, or they can send their report to your PMD who may be willing to prescribe. I did that quite a bit for my patients, as we are woefully short of psychiatrists in my area.

 

Chronic grumpiness can be masking anything from depression to a physical illness, but if it has been a life-long characteristic, it is less likely to be a physical illness. If it is a new thing, you may want to see your doc for thyroid, iron, B12 type things.

 

:iagree: I am one of the bolded above. I'm even terrific.:D You are what we call in the mental health field "the worried well". Therapists love clients like this.:001_smile:

[nono]

I will have to do some research on people around here. I don't know how I am going to see someone. My dh would think I went off the deep end if I said I wanted to see someone and I can't exactly see someone on the sly :)

 

 

I'd tell him I will go off the deep end if I don't see somebody. (Or else to expect some holes punched in the drywall....)

[texasmama]

Google dysthymia and see if it fits. Not all people who go to counseling/therapy are a wreck. I go because it feels supportive. That's a good enough reason in my book;)

[----]

.

[jenL]

I'd tell him I will go off the deep end if I don't see somebody. (Or else to expect some holes punched in the drywall....)

 

It sounds like you really need to take care of you.

 

I used to be as you describe, but I started going to see a counselor, and I take Celexa daily. It's made a world of difference.

 

As for you being similar to your mom, there are 2 trains of thought that could be in place. One, it is genetic and was possibly set off after ds9 due to hormones, PPD, or something else (just plain being overwhelmed). Or, two, your mother has taught you negative behaviors/coping skills that you are now utilizing in your life. You probably did not even realize you had inherited these behaviors until now, and they're making you feel more out of control and angry. It could also be a combination of both. I'm only hypothesizing based upon my own experiences since for me it was both factors (my counselor helped me break it down while the meds helped me be able to calm down enough to be able to "see" it all clearly).

 

I hope you can find some help and a feeling of peace soon! :grouphug:

Edited May 23, 2011 by jenL

[LauraGB]

Not all people who go to counseling/therapy are a wreck. I go because it feels supportive. That's a good enough reason in my book;)

:iagree: If you feel you need some support to make changes, do it! Sometimes just a nudge of support makes a world of difference in helping change the dynamic.

 

Also, I would second the b12. If you are feeling depressed or tired and overwhelmed, sometimes it's as simple as a deficiency. B12 makes a huge difference for me; I can always tell when it's low. And believe it or not, Vit D3 helps out a great deal, too. Have you had your levels checked? Especially if you live in a colder climate where you don't get outside much (or, even a warm one where you don't get outside much), you could be lacking.

[LauraGB]

 

 

eta: Apparently my attempt at quoting failed.

 

You just erased the [/ in front of the last QUOTE. Otherwise, you did fine :)

[alpidarkomama]

Any chance you're pre-menopausal???? :sad:

[blessedmom3]

Try SAM-E , Norwegian Cod Liver Oil and Multivitamins .

 

Some books you can borrow from the library:

She's gonna blow

http://www.amazon.com/Shes-Gonna-Blow-Dealing-Anger/dp/0736915524/ref=pd_sim_b_3

 

When-Anger-Hurts-Your-Kids

http://www.amazon.com/When-Anger-Hurts-Your-Kids/dp/1572240458/ref=pd_sim_b_3

 

For your kids :

My Mom Has a Bad Temper

Why is Mommy Sad? A Child's Guide to Parental Depression

Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry

Mommy Stayed in Bed This Morning

[LibraryLover]

You're describing what are often classic signs of depression, and yes, depression can run in families. (I am not a doctor, but I am going to guess you probably have some other 'stuff' going on as well. Listlessness, lack of drive, procrastination, etc. ?) It can be chemical/genetic.

Edited May 23, 2011 by LibraryLover

[Sue G in PA]

Sounds like me...back when I first had children up until about 5 years ago. I had severe anger issues (like my father) and was constantly on the verge of blowing. And I did...frequently. I am thankful that I never hurt my children in my fits of rage...as my father often did. I finally sought counseling and it has helped. I also had to take an anti-depressant. Zoloft works on my depression but mostly on my volatile temper. It is just like a :chillpill: for me. I'm more mellow, patient, less cranky, etc. I hate taking meds but when I'm not on them...I am that volcano on the verge of erupting. :grouphug: It isn't fun. Do seek counseling...much of my anger, I found, was due to the underlying depression and lots of past hurts not yet dealt with.

[EthiopianFood]

For your kids :

My Mom Has a Bad Temper

Why is Mommy Sad? A Child's Guide to Parental Depression

Sometimes My Mommy Gets Angry

Mommy Stayed in Bed This Morning

 

:(

[delaney]

I take Prozac for PMDD. All but 3 weeks of the month I feel like a bubble about to burst. The Prozac is like someone pops the bubble just as it starts to fill with air. I think more rationally and less explosively. :)

[Peela]

Get a full health check with bloodwork. As a pp said, B12 deficiency can result in all sorts of symptoms- so can Vitamin B, iron, magnesium, Vit D deficiency. They can overlay underlying symptoms and make them much worse. Also, hormones can do that too.

 

If you rule out physical issues - you need to shift to emotional or psychological help. Do you exercise? Get enough space? Eat well?

 

A liver cleanse can help with anger too- when the liver is toxic the emotional response in the body is irritability and anger. A liver cleanse can make you feel like a huge weight is lifted from you.

 

Good luck- go get some help. Tell your husband you just aren't feeling right- you don't need to tell him the whole truth if that would only make things harder for you. Take care of yourself.

[Alison in KY]

Sounds like me. I felt like this for quite awhile and finally starting trying a few things to help myself out. I started 5-HTP at night before I go to bed. That was a huge help. Now, if that doesn't take care of it, then I occasionally use a natural progesterone cream...it's supposed to be for pms support, but I found I needed it from a day after my period to a day before. Now, for some reason, I don't have to use the cream all the time. But if I feel myself being unreasonably quick tempered, then I start the cream again.

 

I'll also second the Vit D 3. If I'm feeling down and really draggy I can take some D 3 and it really helps.

 

Alison

[Plink]

My mom used to feel this way when I was a teenager (needless to say it wasn't pleasant for me! lol) but she went to a doctor and told her about how irritable she was and he gave her B12 shots to try... OH MY GOODNESS! It was like a different person, she was so calm and even and nice once she started taking the shots. She was also told to cut coffee consumption way down.

 

Same here except the cause of my dad's anger was sleep apnea. The change was miraculous once he found out the root cause.

 

I'd make an appointment to speak with your doctor. There are many physical ailments that need to be ruled out before assuming that you are dealing with a psychological issue.

[Rosyl]

A counselor will help you figure out why you are angry, that you are in control of your anger and what to do about the anger and control.

[CalicoKat]

just for fun, rent the movie "Anger Management."

 

It's a hoot.

 

Goozefrabba!

 

:grouphug:

[amo_mea_filiis.]

Chronic pissy-ness can be signs of a thyroid disorder, as well as obstructive sleep apnea.

[Guest RecumbentHeart]

nt

Edited May 25, 2011 by RecumbentHeart

[gracetherese]

It's chronic, I have been this way, well since at least after I had ds9 or so. It has been worse since ds3 was born.

 

It isn't any particular time of of month, I just use PMS as an example. I do get worse around that time of month though.

 

I will say it does help when I take St. Johns Wort but I have to remember to take it several times a day and I can't remember, I just can't. I have too much other stuff to do so it just goes out the window. I wish it came in a one dose for the day pill, then it would be better.

 

I think I am going to try the B12, I do take a B Complex but it doesn't have much B12 in it.

 

I will have to do some research on people around here. I don't know how I am going to see someone. My dh would think I went off the deep end if I said I wanted to see someone and I can't exactly see someone on the sly :)

 

ETA: My Mom was this exact same way. I am doing the same thing she used too. So maybe it is something genetic? I remember her being grumpy all the time just like me.

 

There are a lot of good answers here. I noticed your weight loss ticker though. Sometimes dieting / losing weight can bump you into a low thyroid state and cause moodiness. Especially if in dieting you're not getting enough of certain vitamins. Also, just being overweight can make you tired grumpy and irritable. It can interfere with how much sleep you get or the quality of sleep.

 

Of course you don't want to stop trying to lose weight - just make sure you have the right nutritional balance while doing so. Also exercise is a mood lifter so if you can start your day with exercise that may help.

 

:grouphug:

[J-rap]

Along with the other advice you got here, I'd recommend vitamin D3. You can have a test to determine if your vitamin D level is low. I know of a couple of people who claim that bringing up their vitamin D level really helped their depression/moods.