Parent Directed or Child Directed Education?

[WIS0320]

I know most homeschoolers probably are a mix of both but I'm curious as to whether or not most parents who homeschool make education parent directed or if they let their children direct their own education? I understand that classical is on one end of the spectrum while unschooling falls on the other end but most people here at WTM seem to be eclectic leaning towards classical.

 

I definitely fall into the camp of parent directed but my children are all very little and I see how that could change as they get older and have genuine preferences about what and how they learn.

 

What about you?

[Whereneverever]

For now- parent directed. I feel like I see the bigger picture when many days my DD can't see past what she wants for lunch. ;)

[nansk]

If we did child-directed learning, we would only learn how to pretend-play! We would get nothing else done. :-)

[jennynd]

under 5, child direct, above 5, i direct

[boscopup]

I have a first grader and a preK'er. Definitely parent-directed here, BUT... science is interest-led right now. I gave him some direction in helping choose topics, but let him choose the topics. I then planned what we'd do with those topics. For example, last week we finished up a short study on wolves. This week, we're starting some astronomy. Both topics were chosen by DS. I had told him to pick some animals to study, and then I listed weather, rocks, astronomy, etc. He didn't want to do rocks, and neither did I, so we're skipping that for now. :tongue_smilie:

 

As far as the rest of his education, I choose for now. When he's in high school, he can have more choice in the matter, just like he'd have in public school.

[kristinannie]

under 5, child direct, above 5, i direct

 

:iagree: I definitely keep his interests in mind. We are doing RSO Earth and Space because he loves space. I keep his personality in mind as well when choosing curricula. However, if I left it up to him we would only do Miquon and Critical Thinking Press! :001_smile:

[Ester Maria]

Parent-directed.

 

Of course, one must not envision this as a type absolute dictatorship in education under which a child's voice and preferences are unimportant and rarely heard; however, when interests and preferences with regard to the educational framework clash, at least at this age (being that you are posting this thread on K-8 board), I strongly believe that in most instances that clash is to be solved in the direction which favors the parental voice. Parents are a lot more knowledgeable, usually have a long-term plan with some definite goals and they are also more aware of the consequences and potential / likely outcomes of doing X before Y, not doing Z at all, etc. As much as it sounds nearly as a sacrilege to many people's ears, I really believe that children's school preferences at this age should be taken not with a grain, but with a kilogram of salt (while remaining aware of each child's strengths, weaknesses and unique needs, which sometimes indeed will mean going with what the child prefers).

And then, there is always the option of encouraging their interests and pursuing them, but as additions, rather than substitutes for what we consider essential.

 

As children mature, their voice needs to gain more weight in the dialogue, as at some point life and career plans kick in and it becomes a very reasonable thing to start to cooperate, rather than basically impose. However, the cooperation is still a two-way communication and I find it just as absurd to basically allow older children (i.e. teens) to tailor their own education as the other extreme, the one of micromanaging every. single. thing they study and how they study it. They are still children, only bigger ones, and while they may see some potential roads opening up for them and head there with excitement, it is still our duty to keep the other roads opened for them too, assure certain balance, but also keep our family culture priorities and things we find important. A sort of "freedom within a certain structure", if you wish.

[GoVanGogh]

Parent-directed, though 50/50 child-led. (I let him pick many of his studies, but I assemble and present the material.) I want to foster a learning environment so I want DS to be free to explore any topic he is interested in. DS is very focused and head-strong in what he wants to learn. (For better and for worse.)

I don't think I could be 100% unschooling, but I often feel like I stand in my child's way of educating himself. :tongue_smilie: Last week is a prime example. We had an awful week of 'schooling.' DS and I butted head every. single. day. On Thursday, I took DS to a used book sale and he found several books on new topics he wanted to study. He then spent the next two days off in his own world, studying on his own. I can't/won't do that all the time, but I don't mind 'skipping school' (my planned school) to allow him that freedom.

[RoundAbout]

Skills - parent directed.

 

Content - child directed.

 

Not completely of course, but I'm less concerned about my child reading specific works of literature and studying specific science topics than I am about foundational skills - reading, writing, math, scientific thinking, etc.

[C&R]

If we did child-directed learning, we would only learn how to pretend-play! We would get nothing else done. :-)

 

Us too! Imaginative play for hours, but nothing else.

[joysworld]

Child directed with parent assistance:D So far, I my kids ASK to do 'school'. My four year old will pull out the phonics stuff to do, and my six year old is constantly asking for math. We will keep it this way until about third/fourth grade. My goal in homeschooling was/is to develop a love for learning, and thus far that's happening. Of course, I have the right to change this as I see fit;)

[EKS]

Parent directed. What the heck do kids know?

[Diana B]

Parent-directed but with enough room to add in child-led topics.

 

Before we started Story of the World, my son had very little knowledge about history. Because he had very little knowledge, he never asked to learn / read about it. But now that we've started it, he LOVES history. Had I let him direct the topics all the way, it would have taken us a lot longer to get to history.

 

Now that he has some knowledge of history, he can ask questions regarding it and we can dive more in depth on what he wants to know. He wants to spend a week learning about the games the Egyptians played? SURE! But he would have never come up with that if I hadn't first taught him about the Egyptians. Once we finish the topic, we go back to the our rough schedule and learn about another time period. I do also give him some choice in how we learn about the topic that I've chosen. Do we want to read book X or book Y? (or both if there is time..) Do we want to do a lapbook or this project? Etc.

 

Science works the same way. We'd never have gotten out of biology if I wasn't directing our paths. But if we want to rabbit trail, I have no problem with it.

 

The skills (math, reading, writing, etc) I direct completely.

 

{I wanted to add in that I know it's possible to be completely delight-directed child-led. I have friends that do this and their kids learn about all kinds of things. They do unit studies and the child just picks the next unit study and they get into science, history, writing, etc all with the same topic. Works great for them. My son and I are not like that. When I present him with things to learn, he's excited and loves it. But when I don't have anything for him, he doesn't come up with his own topics. I know, I've tried. So I think those with very naturally curious kids, child led can work great.}

[JennyD]

Both. More child-directed than I thought I would be at this early age, at least.

[hsbaby]

Parent-forced. Mine do not seem to be inquisitive by nature.....unless it is regarding Lego's, a video game, or anything else not remotely related to education:tongue_smilie:

[silliness7]

I know most homeschoolers probably are a mix of both but I'm curious as to whether or not most parents who homeschool make education parent directed or if they let their children direct their own education? I understand that classical is on one end of the spectrum while unschooling falls on the other end but most people here at WTM seem to be eclectic leaning towards classical.

 

I definitely fall into the camp of parent directed but my children are all very little and I see how that could change as they get older and have genuine preferences about what and how they learn.

 

What about you?

 

School time is parent directed and free time is student directed. Most of the time their free time is not very academic but they have bursts of special projects, research and reading that they like to do on their own. I think there is great worth in learning how to buckle down and do a task that you are not crazy about or even downright hate. Now most of my parent-led school assignments are not that horrible. They enjoy some of it, tolerate most of it, but they do despise a thing or to. It's life, get over it. I despise cleaning toilets. so what. I do it anyway. There is incentive to get it done quickly though so they can move on to their child-led activities.

 

So earlier if you were to ask me I would say I was almost 100% parent-led. But I recently read an article about Tiger Mom...was that her name? I guess it's possible for a parent to even take away a child's choices with their free time or just not give them free time. I'm not really sure to what extent she did that but I guess it's possible for any parent to do that. So considering all of life and not just "school" I'd say I'm a mix of about 60 parent-led and 40 student-led.

[texasmama]

Parent-directed.

 

Of course, one must not envision this as a type absolute dictatorship in education under which a child's voice and preferences are unimportant and rarely heard; however, when interests and preferences with regard to the educational framework clash, at least at this age (being that you are posting this thread on K-8 board), I strongly believe that in most instances that clash is to be solved in the direction which favors the parental voice. Parents are a lot more knowledgeable, usually have a long-term plan with some definite goals and they are also more aware of the consequences and potential / likely outcomes of doing X before Y, not doing Z at all, etc. As much as it sounds nearly as a sacrilege to many people's ears, I really believe that children's school preferences at this age should be taken not with a grain, but with a kilogram of salt (while remaining aware of each child's strengths, weaknesses and unique needs, which sometimes indeed will mean going with what the child prefers).

And then, there is always the option of encouraging their interests and pursuing them, but as additions, rather than substitutes for what we consider essential.

 

As children mature, their voice needs to gain more weight in the dialogue, as at some point life and career plans kick in and it becomes a very reasonable thing to start to cooperate, rather than basically impose. However, the cooperation is still a two-way communication and I find it just as absurd to basically allow older children (i.e. teens) to tailor their own education as the other extreme, the one of micromanaging every. single. thing they study and how they study it. They are still children, only bigger ones, and while they may see some potential roads opening up for them and head there with excitement, it is still our duty to keep the other roads opened for them too, assure certain balance, but also keep our family culture priorities and things we find important. A sort of "freedom within a certain structure", if you wish.

 

:iagree: Thanks for typing this all out in such an eloquent manner and saving me the time, to say nothing of the fact that I lack the eloquence at present.:D

[Tracy]

With math and spelling, I do most of the directing, but I very much take dd's desires into consideration. For everything else, I feel like I put her on the path, and then she leads the way down that path. I know that when my kids are pretending to be Odysseus and the Cyclopse, or when my 6yo is teaching classical ballet to my 3yo, and they are loving every minute, that I am getting something right.

[Just Robyn]

Parent-directed, but like you, my kids are young. I have hopes and ideas about what they will study as high schoolers, but I try to keep an open mind since at this time, I have no experience with homeschooling high schoolers (let alone homeschooling specifically my children as high schoolers). I can't predict what they'll need at that time in their lives, not only as students, but as people.

 

Right now, though, I pick everything with them in mind. There are already differences in the education each has received (what they learned in a particular grade and how they learned it) due in part to my tailoring the materials and methods to suit each child. They wouldn't know how to do that if I put it in their hands.

 

Regarding eclectic, we're eclectic in part because of the tailoring of each child's education to his needs. Following TWTM exactly would not suit each of my children (the oldest would be the best fit), and it wouldn't suit me either. Putting together a classical education that was tailored to each of my children (which would mean it was not using TWTM recs) would require my building each child's year from scratch every year. There would be a lot of downsides to that, enough to make it not worth it to be totally classical. Wow, I could just keep going on. I'm going to stop myself though and save you all.

[Wildiris]

Parent-directed.

 

Of course, one must not envision this as a type absolute dictatorship in education under which a child's voice and preferences are unimportant and rarely heard; however, when interests and preferences with regard to the educational framework clash, at least at this age (being that you are posting this thread on K-8 board), I strongly believe that in most instances that clash is to be solved in the direction which favors the parental voice. Parents are a lot more knowledgeable, usually have a long-term plan with some definite goals and they are also more aware of the consequences and potential / likely outcomes of doing X before Y, not doing Z at all, etc. As much as it sounds nearly as a sacrilege to many people's ears, I really believe that children's school preferences at this age should be taken not with a grain, but with a kilogram of salt (while remaining aware of each child's strengths, weaknesses and unique needs, which sometimes indeed will mean going with what the child prefers).

And then, there is always the option of encouraging their interests and pursuing them, but as additions, rather than substitutes for what we consider essential.

 

As children mature, their voice needs to gain more weight in the dialogue, as at some point life and career plans kick in and it becomes a very reasonable thing to start to cooperate, rather than basically impose. However, the cooperation is still a two-way communication and I find it just as absurd to basically allow older children (i.e. teens) to tailor their own education as the other extreme, the one of micromanaging every. single. thing they study and how they study it. They are still children, only bigger ones, and while they may see some potential roads opening up for them and head there with excitement, it is still our duty to keep the other roads opened for them too, assure certain balance, but also keep our family culture priorities and things we find important. A sort of "freedom within a certain structure", if you wish.

 

:iagree:Awesome response!

[Lizzie in Ma]

Parent-directed.

 

Of course, one must not envision this as a type absolute dictatorship in education under which a child's voice and preferences are unimportant and rarely heard; however, when interests and preferences with regard to the educational framework clash, at least at this age (being that you are posting this thread on K-8 board), I strongly believe that in most instances that clash is to be solved in the direction which favors the parental voice. Parents are a lot more knowledgeable, usually have a long-term plan with some definite goals and they are also more aware of the consequences and potential / likely outcomes of doing X before Y, not doing Z at all, etc. As much as it sounds nearly as a sacrilege to many people's ears, I really believe that children's school preferences at this age should be taken not with a grain, but with a kilogram of salt (while remaining aware of each child's strengths, weaknesses and unique needs, which sometimes indeed will mean going with what the child prefers).

And then, there is always the option of encouraging their interests and pursuing them, but as additions, rather than substitutes for what we consider essential.

 

As children mature, their voice needs to gain more weight in the dialogue, as at some point life and career plans kick in and it becomes a very reasonable thing to start to cooperate, rather than basically impose. However, the cooperation is still a two-way communication and I find it just as absurd to basically allow older children (i.e. teens) to tailor their own education as the other extreme, the one of micromanaging every. single. thing they study and how they study it. They are still children, only bigger ones, and while they may see some potential roads opening up for them and head there with excitement, it is still our duty to keep the other roads opened for them too, assure certain balance, but also keep our family culture priorities and things we find important. A sort of "freedom within a certain structure", if you wish.

 

What she said. :iagree:

[MelanieM]

We're child-led. I am obviously more aware of what is available and so I make suggestions and present them with options. They decide whether or not they want to participate. This works well for us as I seem to have kids who are very interested in just about everything they come across!

 

This hasn't really happened yet, but I can see some situations where I would push a little harder to get a child to work on something they were resisting. I also have no problem with setting general guidelines around what is filling a child's time. For example, my 5yo does not get unlimited Wii time no matter how much he wants it, we have restrictions television programs based on content, etc.

[Hunter]

When a child has become mature enough to want to self-teach a subject, he should be allowed to direct that subject.

 

There were way too many incidents of my younger son, the little prince wannabe, who would state what he wanted to learn, and then mommy would spend untold # of hours putting together something entirely out of her comfort zone and area of strengths while he went and played video games.

 

With my older son, I was too slow to let him direct sometimes. I didn't agree with how unclassical and secular his choices were, but because he wanted to self-teach, and I was so exhausted teaching his younger brother, I grudging allowed him to direct things more than I was comfortable with. Thank God I did, even if it was for the wrong reasons.

 

I think the key to allowing a child to direct is when they show the initiative to self-educate. Until that time, I think mom needs to teach within her interests and comfort zone. Teaching is a heavy load. It takes a toll on mom over the years. She has got to nurture and pace herself.

 

If a child wants to learn something bad enough, he should prove it by being willing to at least partially, maybe completely, self-teach it.

Edited May 8, 2011 by Hunter

[Dmmetler]

Parent directed, but child sets the pace, so if she wants to park and spend a month longer exploring Egypt, or needs more time to solidify math facts, that's fine.

 

I tried letting DD lead in Science at the beginning of the year, and it failed miserably-if she already knew about a topic, it was very hard to find resources that were appropriate that she hadn't already read/used to discover it on her own. If she didn't know about a topic, it was hard to narrow down to something that was actually reasonable to study. When I picked up a cheap science workbook and we used that as the next topic and built on it, we were both much, much happier. Honestly, I don't know how unschoolers do it!

[Attila the Honey]

Child-directed. My dd is 7.5 and does play pretend a lot, but I think that's a good thing. Besides that she's very into Ancient Egypt, insects and arachnids and anything creepy crawly, and she wants to learn "all the math there is".

 

We went through a few months of parent-led learning and it didn't work for us at all.

[JudoMom]

School is parent directed, which gives them skills to use in their child directed free time. My boys don't love school, but they do see the benefits of (much of) it, and (mostly) understand why they need to learn what I assign.

 

I used to worry because my boys don't love school, which made me think they don't love learning.

 

Then I sat back and watched them. They do love learning, it's just that the learning they love doesn't always happen to be what we're doing in school. Even though we've only studied American History in the context of SOTW, my oldest can talk your ear off about the Civil War and the American Revolution, my second born can tell you more than you ever wanted to know about JRR Tolkien, LOTR, and Greek myths. My middle son loves science and reads science books and does science experiments in his free time. His current interest is robotics, and he recently asked me to place robotics books on hold at the library (my boys often ask me to put books on a certain topic on hold for them at the library). My younger two pursue things that interest them as well, but it's just in a smaller way because they are younger. All my boys use the skills they've learned in school to pursue what they want to pursue outside of school--they love learning.

 

Once I saw things in this light, I began to feel less guilty about the structure of our homeschool :001_smile:.

[silliness7]

School is parent directed, which gives them skills to use in their child directed free time. My boys don't love school, but they do see the benefits of (much of) it, and (mostly) understand why they need to learn what I assign.

 

I used to worry because my boys don't love school, which made me think they don't love learning.

 

Then I sat back and watched them. They do love learning, it's just that the learning they love doesn't always happen to be what we're doing in school. Even though we've only studied American History in the context of SOTW, my oldest can talk your ear off about the Civil War and the American Revolution, my second born can tell you more than you ever wanted to know about JRR Tolkien, LOTR, and Greek myths. My middle son loves science and reads science books and does science experiments in his free time. His current interest is robotics, and he recently asked me to place robotics books on hold at the library (my boys often ask me to put books on a certain topic on hold for them at the library). My younger two pursue things that interest them as well, but it's just in a smaller way because they are younger. All my boys use the skills they've learned in school to pursue what they want to pursue outside of school--they love learning.

 

Once I saw things in this light, I began to feel less guilty about the structure of our homeschool :001_smile:.

 

Excellent post!!! It's true that just because kids are not grooving on all of their school assignments and even balk and complain about some of them does not mean that they don't love to learn.

 

You made some wonderful points. And I'm all about less guilt. :D

[kchara]

We are parent directed, with plenty of time and encouragement to follow their own interests in their free time. I do try to arrange things so that they catch their interest. For example, my DS is fascinated by languages. His favorite subjects are Latin and Greek. Now, the English language (in other words... his grammar studies) he could care less about. We're moving to The Latin Road to incorporate his love of foreign language into his grammar, because I think it will make it more interesting to him. But... he's not going to go without grammar. With science, we're studying Botany, which he has a somewhat interest in, but if it were up to him, we'd do dinosaurs. All day, every day. So, he does his science three times a week, and can use his free time to research and study dinosaurs, build projects, whatever.

[Veritaserum]

under 5, child direct, above 5, i direct

 

:iagree: But I let my bigger ones help decide how we accomplish the goals I set. :)

[Ritsumei]

We have some areas that are required. Phonics is a big one; Monkey would pass on that if I let him. I don't think so, child! You have to learn to read! And you can see the lesser interest in the slower pace he takes it at. for Math we have a curriculum, but he sets the (rather quick) pace. In other areas I try to find a balance, to give him freedom within a structure.

 

Right now you can see that most clearly in science. We're doing bio, studying animals. Monkey requested birds, so that's what we're doing. We've done a mix of raptors and the songbirds at the feeder for the past 6 weeks. We've watched nest cams and dissected owl pellets and visited the local park that has an eagles' nest. He's become pretty good at seeing hawks overhead when we're out & about. We've come to the end of the birds I initially planned to study. I asked him does he want more birds or some other animals too. He said he wants to learn about "birds of prey in the water," so I guess we'll hit some birds that eat fish. This is our week off, so I'll do some planning & figuring it out over this week.

 

I think that the freedom within a structure is how we'll balance my responsibility to teach with his desire to self-determine. Whether that means that I choose the materials and he does most of the pace-setting, or I provide the general topic and he chooses the specific area of study. It's been my observation that people, big and small, do better when they have some sort of self-determination, but often need a structure to work within. So far, so good.

[Aquinas Academy]

Parent-directed.

 

Of course, one must not envision this as a type absolute dictatorship in education under which a child's voice and preferences are unimportant and rarely heard; however, when interests and preferences with regard to the educational framework clash, at least at this age (being that you are posting this thread on K-8 board), I strongly believe that in most instances that clash is to be solved in the direction which favors the parental voice. Parents are a lot more knowledgeable, usually have a long-term plan with some definite goals and they are also more aware of the consequences and potential / likely outcomes of doing X before Y, not doing Z at all, etc. As much as it sounds nearly as a sacrilege to many people's ears, I really believe that children's school preferences at this age should be taken not with a grain, but with a kilogram of salt (while remaining aware of each child's strengths, weaknesses and unique needs, which sometimes indeed will mean going with what the child prefers).

And then, there is always the option of encouraging their interests and pursuing them, but as additions, rather than substitutes for what we consider essential.

 

As children mature, their voice needs to gain more weight in the dialogue, as at some point life and career plans kick in and it becomes a very reasonable thing to start to cooperate, rather than basically impose. However, the cooperation is still a two-way communication and I find it just as absurd to basically allow older children (i.e. teens) to tailor their own education as the other extreme, the one of micromanaging every. single. thing they study and how they study it. They are still children, only bigger ones, and while they may see some potential roads opening up for them and head there with excitement, it is still our duty to keep the other roads opened for them too, assure certain balance, but also keep our family culture priorities and things we find important. A sort of "freedom within a certain structure", if you wish.

Another one saying :iagree: