Teen fakes pregnancy at school

[Homemaker]

Did anyone see this this week? http://news.yahoo.com/video/us-15749625/teen-s-fake-pregnancy-fools-school-24993410

 

I don't get it. Why do people think she is courageous?? She wanted to see what it was like to be pregnant and so she lied about it, even to family. She must of caused a lot of hurt to those that care about her. How is this different from a kid lying about having a famous parent or something? I could make up a lie and tell people I am related to royalty and see how people treat me, I don't think anyone would call my courageous though. Maybe I am totally off, that was just my first reaction after seeing the video.

[edithcrawley]

I read on another forum that it was for a senior project at school. Every kid had to do some sort of project, hers was about teen pregnancy. I know her parents knew the real story, as did her boyfriend, but I don't think she told his parents or any siblings. I think it was an interesting experiment, although probably not the most ethical way of going about things.

[DawnM]

I saw this last night on the news. Her family, boyfriend, and principal were all in on it and she gave an assembly at school to tell the "truth" and make her point.

 

So, it wasn't like she did this all on her own to trick a boyfriend or anything, there was a point to it.

 

http://mail.aol.com/32679-211/aol-6/en-us/Lite/MsgRead.aspx?folder=NewMail&uid=28064780&seq=19&searchIn=none&searchQuery=&start=0&sort=received

 

 

The title of "high school girl fakes pregnancy" is quite misleading.

 

Dawn

[stephanier.1765]

From what I've read, it's not so much about teen pregnancy as about rumors. Before she did the reveal, she read rumors that had been said about her from file cards to the audience. I think all in all it was a lesson in how cruel people can be and the lies they tell.

[Murphy101]

ONLY her mother, boyfriend, and principal were in on it. Not her siblings. Not her boyfriend's parents.

 

Present her "findings" to community leaders? What findings? That it sucks to be a pregnant teen? Gee. How enlightening.

 

She is an attention seeking liar with mother and an idiot principal approval.

 

Nothing courageous or smart or educational about what she did.

[Aubrey]

I think it can be extremely difficult for people to empathize w/ others outside their own experience. Situations like the one described can be eye-opening for the person doing the experiment as well as those around her.

 

There was a piece on the news a few years ago about a girl who wore a fat suit to school for a few weeks. She documented how she was treated--& *she* was surprised at how much worse it was than she'd imagined--& then when she showed up in her true figure, she also documented the difference in how people treated her.

 

People know it stinks to be a teen & be pregnant. (Well...most people!) But I bet it's easy to jump to conclusions about how it stinks & why. I bet it's easy to lay blame & believe gossip.

 

This experiment is in some ways no different than the experiments in which someone starts a rumor to see where it will go/grow. The difference here is she didn't have to *say* anything.

 

As far as courage--she could have chosen a less risky or controversial topic. She could have chosen something that wouldn't really change anything or make people think. But she risked her reputation at a time in her life when reputation is *everything.* Right or wrong, she was totally brave to do that. Most people prefer to keep their heads down in highschool.

[kchara]

What she was saying were "rumors," aren't rumors. They're what happens 90% of the time when a teenager gets pregnant. A rumor is that her boyfriend wasn't the father, something like that. Saying that she's irresponsible (pregnant at 17? I can see that...), that she probably wouldn't go to college, things like that, that's just life for a teenage mom.

 

I agree. I think even if it was a senior project, she picked something for shock value and attention. Not courageous at all.

[dangermom]

I think it was a bad idea. Especially the part where her boyfriend's parents didn't know--imagine them spending months coming to terms with their son's new responsibilities, that they're going to have a grandbaby, and all that!

[abbeyej]

I can see no benefit to what she did and a great many down-sides. She could have done the same "research" without creating an elaborate and hurtful fantasy like this one.

[kalanamak]

I read on another forum that it was for a senior project at school. Every kid had to do some sort of project, hers was about teen pregnancy. I know her parents knew the real story, as did her boyfriend, but I don't think she told his parents or any siblings. I think it was an interesting experiment, although probably not the most ethical way of going about things.

 

It has been said that when all else fails, lower your standards. I guess I've lowered mine: she wasn't doing drugs, she wasn't dropping out of school, she wasn't luring a classmate to his death via text messages. Worse things have happened. I guess I'd be happier if my child did this than if he was rude, lazy, unmotivated, or involved in illegal activities. The older I get the more I believe unless you are right there dealing with it, it is hard to know the motives and results of most things the media presents. I see how the lawsuits at work are portrayed in the media. Oh poor victim! and I think Oh what conniving, lying jerks getting money out of the taxpayers*. Call me a relativist, at least a little bit.:)

 

*I'm talking about situations where I actually know and have worked with the people involved.

Edited April 24, 2011 by kalanamak

[AnitaMcC]

She did it for a senior project and her parents, boyfriend, and school principal knew about it and authorized the project.

[AnitaMcC]

I think it was a bad idea. Especially the part where her boyfriend's parents didn't know--imagine them spending months coming to terms with their son's new responsibilities, that they're going to have a grandbaby, and all that!

 

I agree with this. I think that families should have been told about the project. IMO, not letting the boyfriend's parents know the truth was very very wrong.

 

But I think the girl did something she truly believed in and I think she was brave in what she did. But then again I am a scientist at heart and in pyschology classes we did all sorts of "experiments".

Edited April 24, 2011 by AnitaMcC

[Cera]

I agree with this. I think that families should have been told about the project. IMO, not letting the boyfriend's parents know the truth was very very wrong.

 

But I think the girl did something she truly believed in and I think she was brave in what she did. But then again I am a scientist at heart and in pyschology classes we did all sorts of "experiments".

 

:iagree:

 

I would be furious if I was his parent.

[LauraGB]

I agree with this. I think that families should have been told about the project. IMO, not letting the boyfriend's parents know the truth was very very wrong.

 

 

 

:iagree:

 

My first reaction was pretty much the same as the OP.

 

My second reaction was in reference to the above quote - I, as a parent, would not feel too grateful to be an apparently inconsequential part of a big, fat, well thought out and thorough lie told by my kid for any reason, no matter what it was. There would be some inevitable damage to our relationship, I think, especially if it lasted for half a year (it was a 6 month experiment, right?).

[redsquirrel]

I think some of what she did was to remind her peers that most pregnant teenagers don't end up on a reality show or Dancing with the Stars. It is actually a hard thing and when it happens to someone you know, it is concerning. It can be a big deal in a young woman's life. It might not be desirable to get pregnant in high school.

 

I think in the current media climate, many young people forget that.

[Pax]

My understanding was that a part of her motivation to pick this specific experiment was due to the recent glamorization (if you could call it that) surrounding teenage pregnancy. Now that teen moms have their own reality shows and that a famous family who was extremely "family values" based has a teenage daughter who gave birth out of wedlock and has made large quantities of money from it, teenage girls seem to have a different perspective of teenage pregnancy. Yes, there is still a huge stigma and life is extremely difficult for teenage girls who get pregnant, but they see these famous people who are famous simply because they got pregnant and think it will all be okay.

 

I was a very young, unwed teenage mother and work with young unwed teenage mothers and their idea of how things are going to be is very different from the reality. I think something that can bring attention to the reality is a good thing.

 

I do agree that there are many things in this specific experiment that I consider unethical and just plain wrong. I think her heart was in the right place but the way she conducted it was poorly thought out.

[Pax]

Redsquirrel, I was typing away while you were posting and you said exactly what I wanted to say in a much more succinct way! Sorry to be a parrot.

[Danestress]

She did it for a senior project and her parents, boyfriend, and school principal knew about it and authorized the project.

 

Her parents and principal "authorized" her lying to pretty much everyone she knows, including her own siblings and her boyfriend's parents - as if this didn't affect them at all and their own peace of mind was second to the great benefits of a social experiment.

 

I think it was a dishonest, unkind experiment, and while I am sure that things were learned, people faced prejudices, etc, I don't think that makes it right. I personally would lose trust in my parents and sister if they did this to me. I don't know how you repair the kind of damage that lying like that would do.

 

I would not have let my daughter make this decision, because I would feel she would not necessarily understand how dramatically and permanently she could damage relationships. I would not lie to my own parents and children. I would not lie to my neighbors. Not under these circumstances.

Edited April 24, 2011 by Danestress

[ocelotmom]

I agree with this. I think that families should have been told about the project. IMO, not letting the boyfriend's parents know the truth was very very wrong.

:iagree:

They not only had to adjust to the idea of their son being a teen father, but they may well have started to become emotionally attached to a grandbaby which won't be. That's a whole bunch of rugs being pulled out from under them.

 

I don't have any objection to the project in general, but that part was badly considered.

[Just Robyn]

:iagree:

They not only had to adjust to the idea of their son being a teen father, but they may well have started to become emotionally attached to a grandbaby which won't be. That's a whole bunch of rugs being pulled out from under them.

 

I don't have any objection to the project in general, but that part was badly considered.

 

:iagree: They also may have spent a ton of money on clothes, a crib, etc. These things can be donated, I suppose, so not a total loss, but I would be upset about spending hundreds of dollars on an imaginary baby.

 

What she was saying were "rumors," aren't rumors. They're what happens 90% of the time when a teenager gets pregnant. A rumor is that her boyfriend wasn't the father, something like that. Saying that she's irresponsible (pregnant at 17? I can see that...), that she probably wouldn't go to college, things like that, that's just life for a teenage mom.

 

I agree. I think even if it was a senior project, she picked something for shock value and attention. Not courageous at all.

 

If she's pregnant at 17, but getting good grades, not using drugs, etc. then is she across the board irresponsible? Does one mistake make her an irresponsible person? I know plenty of teenage moms who went to and graduated from college.

[Nakia]

There is no way I would go along with my daughter lying to and tricking people like that. She accomplished nothing except proving to herself that sometimes life sucks. I feel so badly for the boyfriend's parents especially. How awful.

[kchara]

:iagree: They also may have spent a ton of money on clothes, a crib, etc. These things can be donated, I suppose, so not a total loss, but I would be upset about spending hundreds of dollars on an imaginary baby.

 

 

 

If she's pregnant at 17, but getting good grades, not using drugs, etc. then is she across the board irresponsible? Does one mistake make her an irresponsible person? I know plenty of teenage moms who went to and graduated from college.

 

I'm sorry, but getting pregnant at 17 is not responsible. I'm not saying you can't turn it around, and make the best of it, and I'm not saying that she *couldn't*, but the reality is what it is. Most teenage moms don't have time to go to college. It is an irresponsible thing to do, regardless of her grades and any drug use. Can she support said child at 17? Where will the child be when she's in school? Who's going to be looking after it? So, yes, I can completely understand why someone would deem a 17 who gets pregnant as irresponsible. They might gain a better understanding of responsibility through the pregnancy and child rearing, but the act itself was irresponsible. Just my .02 What I was saying though, is that those aren't rumors, those are people's opinions on the situation of a teenage pregnancy. Rumors are a different matter. Nothing she said in the video made me think of gossip, it made me think that people were discussing her, which... wasn't that the point?? So, she's going to have a huge assembly and "bring to light" the very point of her "experiment," which was to get people talking?

 

I still think she did it for shock value and attention.

[Murphy101]

Hmmm

 

Brings up another question.

 

Fraud.

 

If she took donations, money, baby shower, ANY assistance whatsoever then as far as I'm concerned she committed fraud and should face those consequences.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

It has been said that when all else fails, lower your standards. I guess I've lowered mine: she wasn't doing drugs, she wasn't dropping out of school, she wasn't luring a classmate to his death via text messages. Worse things have happened. I guess I'd be happier if my child did this than if he was rude, lazy, unmotivated, or involved in illegal activities. The older I get the more I believe unless you are right there dealing with it, it is hard to know the motives and results of most things the media presents. I see how the lawsuits at work are portrayed in the media. Oh poor victim! and I think Oh what conniving, lying jerks getting money out of the taxpayers. Call me a relativist, at least a little bit.:)

 

 

Her project was about Rumors, Stereotypes and Bias. Some of the answers on THIS very thread reveal exactly why she did this.

 

I agree with kalanamak. And, I think that few here see the huge WHY of her reasoning. She was trying to uncover and to get people to talk about, the huge stygma, stereotypes and biases that STILL surround teen pregnancy.

 

 

There is a huge double standard in this country: Don't abort, but if you stay pregnant we will shun you while smiling at you and saying that we want to help you. :glare: (But, deep down we think that you are irresponsible and probably won't make it to college.)

 

This was a Straight-A student and people STILL thought that about her!

 

 

ETA: I don't see any evidence that she defrauded people by having showers, gifts, etc I think that her principle would have put a stop to that if it were even suggested.

 

Quote from a different article:

 

“Her intent was to explore people’s reactions if a top student, someone you wouldn’t expect, were to get pregnant. She started a conversation.”

Edited April 24, 2011 by ThatCyndiGirl

[Cera]

Her project was about Rumors, Stereotypes and Bias. Some of the answers on THIS very thread reveal exactly why she did this.

 

I agree with kalanamak. And, I think that few here see the huge WHY of her reasoning. She was trying to uncover and to get people to talk about, the huge stygma, stereotypes and biases that STILL surround teen pregnancy.

 

 

There is a huge double standard in this country: Don't abort, but if you stay pregnant we will shun you while smiling at you and saying that we want to help you. :glare: (But, deep down we think that you are irresponsible and probably won't make it to college.)

 

This was a Straight-A student and people STILL thought that about her!

 

 

ETA: I don't see any evidence that she defrauded people by having showers, gifts, etc I think that her principle would have put a stop to that if it were even suggested.

 

I don't have any issue with her choice of project (I wouldn't choose it for my child but would support her if she was insistent and had the principals approval). The issue I see is lying to her boyfriends parents. I think that is where she crossed the line of conducting herself ethically (they deserved to know the truth just as much as her parents).

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I don't have any issue with her choice of project (I wouldn't choose it for my child but would support her if she was insistent and had the principals approval). The issue I see is lying to her boyfriends parents. I think that is where she crossed the line of conducting herself ethically (they deserved to know the truth just as much as her parents).

 

 

I understand your reasoning for the position you hold. I just think that, when it comes to research, you eventually have to put a stop to how many are told. The more people who know the truth, the less likely you are to get genuine results. They had to draw the line somewhere and it was there.

[Danestress]

I understand your reasoning for the position you hold. I just think that, when it comes to research, you eventually have to put a stop to how many are told. The more people who know the truth, the less likely you are to get genuine results. They had to draw the line somewhere and it was there.

 

I just don't get it. How can anyone think it's okay to tell some one they are going to be a grandmother for months and months and then say, "Oh, not really." The death of a baby is actually a tragedy, even when the Mom is a teen. The siblings and parents of this couple are experiencing a death in the family. It's so sad. When I lost a baby, my sisters and parents grieved. DH's parents grieved too. The didn't not grieve because the baby wasn't born yet. I can't justify putting anyone through that as an experiment.

[Pretty in Pink]

Her project was about Rumors, Stereotypes and Bias. Some of the answers on THIS very thread reveal exactly why she did this.

 

I agree with kalanamak. And, I think that few here see the huge WHY of her reasoning. She was trying to uncover and to get people to talk about, the huge stygma, stereotypes and biases that STILL surround teen pregnancy.

 

 

There is a huge double standard in this country: Don't abort, but if you stay pregnant we will shun you while smiling at you and saying that we want to help you. :glare: (But, deep down we think that you are irresponsible and probably won't make it to college.)

 

This was a Straight-A student and people STILL thought that about her!

 

 

ETA: I don't see any evidence that she defrauded people by having showers, gifts, etc I think that her principle would have put a stop to that if it were even suggested.

 

Quote from a different article:

 

“Her intent was to explore people’s reactions if a top student, someone you wouldn’t expect, were to get pregnant. She started a conversation.â€

 

I agree. It was a brave project for her to take on. The boyfriend's parents should have been in on it though.

[dangermom]

I understand your reasoning for the position you hold. I just think that, when it comes to research, you eventually have to put a stop to how many are told. The more people who know the truth, the less likely you are to get genuine results. They had to draw the line somewhere and it was there.

But it wasn't a real proper experiment anyway. It was a projecty sort of thing, but it wasn't a truly scientific research project with methodology and quantitative/qualitative data and whatnot. And one of the main rules of proper research is to not harm people. I would think that this constitutes harm to the not-grandparents.

[ocelotmom]

There is a huge double standard in this country: Don't abort, but if you stay pregnant we will shun you while smiling at you and saying that we want to help you. :glare: (But, deep down we think that you are irresponsible and probably won't make it to college.)

Yep. I feel like we go out of our way to make it difficult for teen parents to make the best of it. We take those who are most in need of social and financial support and withhold it as punishment. Then shake our heads as the cycle continues through generations.

 

Many many teens make bad decisions with potentially life-changing consequences. Some are just luckier than others about the results of those decisions.

[HomeschoolMum]

I am sure she has damaged the relationship between her "boyfriend" and his parents permanently( perhaps this was intentional on her part as they did not approve with him going out with her..."ha ha ,lets see how they feel if he gets me pregnant", and probably between her and her own siblings. How would you ever trust your sister( or your parents for allowing it !) again after this elaborate fabrication. I am sure there will be a lot of emotional fallout from this "experiment" .

[ThatCyndiGirl]

I just don't get it. How can anyone think it's okay to tell some one they are going to be a grandmother for months and months and then say, "Oh, not really." The death of a baby is actually a tragedy, even when the Mom is a teen. The siblings and parents of this couple are experiencing a death in the family. It's so sad. When I lost a baby, my sisters and parents grieved. DH's parents grieved too. The didn't not grieve because the baby wasn't born yet. I can't justify putting anyone through that as an experiment.

 

 

I just absolutely do NOT see this as the same as having a miscarraige. A baby did not die here. A baby simply was NOT conceived. NOT the same thing at all. I have miscarried as well. Apples and oranges.

 

 

:confused:

[Danestress]

I just absolutely do NOT see this as the same as having a miscarraige. A baby did not die here. A baby simply was NOT conceived. NOT the same thing at all. I have miscarried as well. Apples and oranges.

 

 

:confused:

 

true, they are not dealing with a daughter/son who is heartbroken. So in that sense, they are better off. But their own hearts were expecting a baby. The same whether it was true or a lie.

[redsquirrel]

wow. You folks sure like to extrapolate. Where do you get all this inside information? She accepted gifts? She committed fraud? She wanted to hurt her boyfriend's parents? You are "sure" there will be emotional fallout?

 

How are you sure? How do you know any of this? On what do you base your judgment?

 

Boy, this is an entertaining thread. All kinds of fallacies. I can use some of this in our schoolwork.

[Murphy101]

I said IF she did that.

I used IF for a reason.

 

Bottom line is it doesn't seem she was shunned or treated badly?

It actually seems she received lots of community support!

Bottom line is it takes more than great grades to go to college for anyone. Add in a baby to an unwed mother? Yeah, her chances go drastically down.

That isn't judgement. It's reality.

 

As for "someone they wouldn't expect".

Sex = babies. Last I was aware, sex is not demographic specific.

Anyone who thinks good grades prevents pregnancy is an idiot.

[Ester Maria]

The boyfriend's parents needed to be involved in this, IMO. Without their involment, her experiment comes across as somewhat... cruel. After all, we are talking about people who would have been very affected in their private lives had the situation been real, and they were probably "afforded" a whole emotional rollercoaster of such a situation, with all it implies, at the cost of... of what, a senior project? Maybe, just maybe, the emotional cost for those people is just not worth a social experiment?

 

HOWEVER, I will be an odd dissenter when it comes to the general sentiment in this thread. I actually find her idea brilliant and it would have been set up for a failure had many people known. I still believe some people, who would have been directly affected by the situation, should have known, but on the whole, her idea is not that problematic in my eyes, as long as she did not commit any, strictly speaking, illegal acts in the process (such as "using" her supposed pregnant status to receive some sort of financial aid or services - but I doubt that would have even been possible as no doctor would have supported her claim and issued her necessary documents to do so?). If it was just a little "game" of her, but without official misrepresentation, without using her "status" to claim something, etc., we may debate whether it was a moral thing to do to her whole surrounding, but it is a whole different story. Furthermore, please do not that she lost friends in the process, so as far as I am concerned, the girl did herself a favor this way - definitely not the most "ethical" way to "test" a friend, but she did end up experiencing her situation in some way. It takes guts to do such an experiment, even if we disagree with the method. Also, from a "teacher" standpoint, it is a whole lot of a more engaging, creative and just plain harder senior project than your average 20ish page pretentious and ill-researched nonsense of the kind that were most graduation theses from lycees that I read.

 

Personally... I know people who did theses and research on stuff like this. Social experiments are tough, real people are always going to be affected, and I definitely do not deny that there is a moral aspect to the whole story. But frankly, the experiment when two teachers got classes with similar IQ distribution among kids and one was told kids were extra-geniuses and other was told kids were less-than-smart, and then both observed in how they behaved towards them, set their expectations and how kids' grades got up/down, etc., was also an experiment involving real people, real kids and parents, who were definitely affected in some way - it was not some theoretical gibberish somebody wrote somewhere which you can step away from and continue your life, but it was a real experiment on real people who were really affected and could not just "step away" from the situations they were intentionally drawn into, and as much good it was for the kids in the first group, I am sure those who were in the second suffered. The experiment in which somebody tried to see how easy it was to fake all personal documents and to fake a history of a company to get a fancy loan by some bank was also conducted involving fraud related to real people and institutions which could have suffered a tangible damage (which again would have been reflected on real people). Do not even get me started on educational experiments (all the "modern pedagogy" mostly) which tangibly affected numbers of children. Real children. Who were/are suffering real educational consequences of having been somebody's guinea pigs (after all, is this "experimental" nature of public schooling not the reason many people here withdrew their kids from schools?).

 

You know, the more I think about, the more I get reminded how much actual fraud and actual harm, intended harm, many of those experiments involve(d), what this kid did was definitely within the realm of "passable" for me. I still hold, uncompromisingly, that the boyfriend's parents should have known, but as much as other people are concerned - even her friends who did her a favor by showing their real faces in a situation of a friend in need of support - this is actually pretty good and one of the less dangerous experiments I have known about. Most people were involved "indirectly" and their lives would not have profoundly changed had the situation been real, i.e. the had the option of "stepping away", which many of them seem to have gladly opted to do. And the kid got her point across.

 

If you are shocked by this story, you should see some of the real fraud that goes on there for research purposes in social sciences. From entirely faked, purposely gibberish papers to prove a point (aka Sokal affair, but not the only time it happened), which of course affect real people who publish them and brings about real shame and cost to them, to long-term experiments in which they know somebody is going to get affected negatively. Natural sciences have it even worse, with all the tests on placebo where they fool patients into thinking they are getting their medicine, etc. And you really think that the patients know they are a part of the experiment all the time? Sometimes not knowing the experiment is being conducted is crucial to its success... like in this story. As long as the girl did not cross her lines (and IMO she crossed at least one, with her boyfriend's parents, but that was primarily his responsibility anyway), she is actually pretty... good, compared to stuff out there.

 

And the saddest thing is, if you disapprove of all experiments of that kind, you really are hindering the progress of science. Because the teacher's attitude does matter and real kids get better if the teacher treats them as if they were more intelligent than they are... and vice-versa proved true too. Because stealing identity is doable, in spite of all the security measures we have - and maybe those experiments showed some additional gaps. Because people really are stereotyping, ostracitizing and shunning teenage moms, and view them through the prism of "irresponsibility", even if there is a theoretical possibility that their behavior was a product of a single mistake we all could have made. Because placebo often does work as well as a medicine, which is a powerful information for those involved in brain research. Those experiments conducted on real people brought about some real questions and advancements in understanding of how brain / social relationships / whatnot works. And it might as well be a nice wake-up call for those that shunned her, showing them their own prejudices - better to go through that wake-up call sooner then later. Or never.

 

Do not get me wrong. There IS an ethical concern to such experiments on real people and I am not denying it. But viewing them exclusively through that prism might be misleading. Often such experiments involve a mix of good and bad, rather than exclusively bad. It is easy to moralize, viewing a bigger picture of these experiments is the tough thing, if you condemn this, you are basically condemning the whole principle on which many of them are made which, yes, includes purposeful deceit.

Though, again, I emphasize it, the boyfriend's parents had to know about this in my view and that was truly an inconsiderate thing to do to them. It was possible to conduct the same experiment while not having them going through all those strong emotions that parents would go through if they thought they were to have a grandchild.

 

I will probably get totally flamed for this response (I am nearly afraid of posting) and accused of supporting deceit and whanot, but, aside the boy's parents not knowing (I still cannot go over what fact!), I think the kid was courageous, innovative for her age and surroundings and definitely made her point loud and clear - a successful senior project in my book. Yes, ethically problematic, as any experiment of that type, and yes, "dramatic" as teens get, but she did nothing others have not done before and will not do in the future.

[Cera]

I understand your reasoning for the position you hold. I just think that, when it comes to research, you eventually have to put a stop to how many are told. The more people who know the truth, the less likely you are to get genuine results. They had to draw the line somewhere and it was there.

 

I completely understand. The only people I think they were truly wrong not to tell are the boyfriend's parents. I can understand not telling grandparents, siblings, friends, etc but I simply can't understand not telling his parents. The implications for their son (and in turn their entire family) are such that they deserved to know the pregnancy wasn't real.

[Impish]

I just don't get it. How can anyone think it's okay to tell some one they are going to be a grandmother for months and months and then say, "Oh, not really." The death of a baby is actually a tragedy, even when the Mom is a teen. The siblings and parents of this couple are experiencing a death in the family. It's so sad. When I lost a baby, my sisters and parents grieved. DH's parents grieved too. The didn't not grieve because the baby wasn't born yet. I can't justify putting anyone through that as an experiment.

:iagree:

[snickelfritz]

I actually think it's brilliant.

 

BUT........

 

I think the boyfriends parents should have been afforded the same respect as the girls parents and been told. The siblings would be a tricky thing.

Edited April 24, 2011 by snickelfritz

[TXMary2]

Her project was about Rumors, Stereotypes and Bias. Some of the answers on THIS very thread reveal exactly why she did this.

 

I agree with kalanamak. And, I think that few here see the huge WHY of her reasoning. She was trying to uncover and to get people to talk about, the huge stygma, stereotypes and biases that STILL surround teen pregnancy.

 

 

There is a huge double standard in this country: Don't abort, but if you stay pregnant we will shun you while smiling at you and saying that we want to help you. :glare: (But, deep down we think that you are irresponsible and probably won't make it to college.)

 

This was a Straight-A student and people STILL thought that about her!

 

 

ETA: I don't see any evidence that she defrauded people by having showers, gifts, etc I think that her principle would have put a stop to that if it were even suggested.

 

Quote from a different article:

 

“Her intent was to explore people’s reactions if a top student, someone you wouldn’t expect, were to get pregnant. She started a conversation.â€

 

:iagree: I don't understand some of the harsh comments and extreme reactions, to this story, in this forum. It sounds like a good topic to me. As for the boyfriend's parents not knowing, they may be relieved it wasn't true, for all any of us know. She was doing research/an experiment and too many people knowing puts the results at risk. If it were my son, I might have been upset at first, but eventually I would see the educational value AND I would be glad my son wasn't going to be a parent before emotionally/mentally ready.

[joannqn]

I agree with Ester Maria.

 

I kind of reminds me of that one ABC After School Special where the teacher created a mini Nazi society within the school. At the end, when the school was about to implode, he revealed who their real leader was and opened the curtain to reveal a giant photo of Hitler. I bet those kids will forever know and understand the true damage he did (it supposedly based on a true story).

[Mona100]

I don't post much on here but read often. Whenever I see an Ester Maria post here or in the high school forum, I sit up and listen. What you wrote was well thought out, intelligent, and oh so correct in so many ways. You will not get a flamed response from me.

[Just Robyn]

I'm sorry, but getting pregnant at 17 is not responsible. I'm not saying you can't turn it around, and make the best of it, and I'm not saying that she *couldn't*, but the reality is what it is. Most teenage moms don't have time to go to college. It is an irresponsible thing to do, regardless of her grades and any drug use. Can she support said child at 17? Where will the child be when she's in school? Who's going to be looking after it? So, yes, I can completely understand why someone would deem a 17 who gets pregnant as irresponsible. They might gain a better understanding of responsibility through the pregnancy and child rearing, but the act itself was irresponsible. Just my .02 What I was saying though, is that those aren't rumors, those are people's opinions on the situation of a teenage pregnancy. Rumors are a different matter. Nothing she said in the video made me think of gossip, it made me think that people were discussing her, which... wasn't that the point?? So, she's going to have a huge assembly and "bring to light" the very point of her "experiment," which was to get people talking?

 

I still think she did it for shock value and attention.

 

The thing is, there is a big difference between those two bolded statements. It is one thing to do something that is irresponsible, and another thing entirely to be an irresponsible person.

[Audrey]

I agree. It was a brave project for her to take on. The boyfriend's parents should have been in on it though.

 

 

:iagree: I have no problem with the project. Not telling the boyfriend's parents is my only quibble in the whole affair. I'm sure if they are reasonable people, they could have kept the secret just fine.

[Jenny in Florida]

I will probably get totally flamed for this response (I am nearly afraid of posting) and accused of supporting deceit and whanot, but, aside the boy's parents not knowing (I still cannot go over what fact!), I think the kid was courageous, innovative for her age and surroundings and definitely made her point loud and clear - a successful senior project in my book. Yes, ethically problematic, as any experiment of that type, and yes, "dramatic" as teens get, but she did nothing others have not done before and will not do in the future.

 

I'm with you on both counts, that the project was interesting and worthwhile and that the boyfriend's parents absolutely should have known.

 

By the way, it's not something I talk about a lot, but I was a pregnant teen. I went to college and got a job and everything. There are a lot of misconceptions (no pun intended) and broad generalizations being stated in this thread.

[kchara]

The thing is, there is a big difference between those two bolded statements. It is one thing to do something that is irresponsible, and another thing entirely to be an irresponsible person.

 

Isn't the basis of being an irresponsible person doing irresponsible things? So, if a 17 year old getting pregnant without finishing high school is irresponsible, then she (and her boyfriend, he wouldn't be left out of this) is by nature irresponsible. Can she grow in her responsibility, especially through a pregnancy and rearing or adopting out a child? Of course, and it happens routinely. But it's irresponsible to put yourself in that situation in the first place.

[kchara]

I said IF she did that.

I used IF for a reason.

 

Bottom line is it doesn't seem she was shunned or treated badly?

It actually seems she received lots of community support!

Bottom line is it takes more than great grades to go to college for anyone. Add in a baby to an unwed mother? Yeah, her chances go drastically down.

That isn't judgement. It's reality.

 

As for "someone they wouldn't expect".

Sex = babies. Last I was aware, sex is not demographic specific.

Anyone who thinks good grades prevents pregnancy is an idiot.

 

:iagree:

[kolamum]

I think you're only getting a fraction of the story with that video clip. Perhaps if you saw the whole story your feelings would be different, perhaps not.

[redsquirrel]

I also think what she did is very interesting. I am hoping some colleges are taking notice. I was very surprised her boyfriend's parents weren't in on the story. I figure there is some reason for it.

 

Her boyfriend is identified as 20 years old. So, he might be on his own and self supporting etc. He might not have much contact with his parents. He might also be living at home and be very close to them. No way to know, really.

[Just Robyn]

Isn't the basis of being an irresponsible person doing irresponsible things? So, if a 17 year old getting pregnant without finishing high school is irresponsible, then she (and her boyfriend, he wouldn't be left out of this) is by nature irresponsible. Can she grow in her responsibility, especially through a pregnancy and rearing or adopting out a child? Of course, and it happens routinely. But it's irresponsible to put yourself in that situation in the first place.

 

Yes, doing irresponsible things, not doing an irresponsible thing. Being an irresponsible person means you are consistently irresponsible.

 

IMO, judging a person's general character based off of one incident, or even one decision that resulted in multiple incidents, is pretty irresponsible.