Here's how it goes for Mother's day here...

[Trivium Academy]

(Phone ringing, Dh calling from town.)

 

Dh: "What do you want for Mother's Day?"

Me: "Nothing really."

Dh: "C'mon, make this a little easier please?"

Me: "Gift certificate from a store in the mall. Dillards or JCPenney"

Dh: "Not much of a surprise huh?"

Me: "It'd be good to get out and do something for myself."

Dh: "How much should it be for?"

Me: Silent

Dh: "Did you hear me?"

Me: "Whatever you want, um...nevermind we have ds's birthday coming. Don't go over $50."

Dh: "Okay, see you when I get home. Love ya."

Me: "Love ya."

 

(Click.)

 

Pretty efficient, huh? The little girl inside is a little disappointed but the stay-at-home mother that is packing, cleaning and running around with her head cut off is thrilled to be able to go and indulge herself a little amidst the chaos. Maybe I can get him to keep the kids while I go...

[crazycoffeechic]

At least he thought about it. My dh is saying "You're not my mother!":glare: All I asked is for him to take ds to get me some Stewie night pants! (Can't help it, I like Stewie:D)

[RoughCollie]

Call him back and make this part of the present. And if he wants a time limit -- say 8 hours! It will be Mother's Day, after all. (You can always come home earlier.)

 

I bought my MIL's gift and a card (which I signed for DH), and mailed everything, and then told him about it. He would never in a million zillion years remember to do this on his own.

 

 

Maybe I can get him to keep the kids while I go...

[susie in tx]

How wonderful that you are getting a gift!

[Trivium Academy]

That happened last year, lol. I don't think he liked it when I said the same thing on Father's Day. ;)

[crazycoffeechic]

I wish I could get him back by saying the same thing, but he's not really into holidays, so it wouldn't matter to him.:glare:

[Trivium Academy]

I cannot believe I forgot. My dh got a Wii last year the same week as Mother's Day. It was his July birthday present and we HAD to get it then b/c of some deal or other and we had tax money. But he did say, "You're not my Mom so I don't have to get you anything, the kids can make you something."

 

This is a major step up for him this year!

[MelissaM]

Here's our conversation:

 

Me: Mother's Day is Sunday. What do you want me to get for your mom?

 

(long pause)

 

Me: Did you hear me?

 

DH: Um, what do you want?

 

Me: You forgot didn't you?

 

DH: No, I just want to see if what you want matches what I was going to get.

 

 

Yeah, suuuurrrrreee.

[crazycoffeechic]

:iagree: lol I don't think mine will ever do any major stepping up anytime soon, he's too old, hardheaded and stuck in his ways! :lol:

[Crissy]

My dh is saying "You're not my mother

 

I remember my father saying this to my mother. ONE time. :001_huh:

[*anj*]

Me: "Let's give our moms those $7 magazine subscriptions. What do they really need anyway? Besides, this way they'll get 12 gifts instead of 1."

Him: "You know, they are our mothers. We can afford to be generous. I'll go to the bank and get them each a gift card."

Me: "Yippee! That must mean I'm getting something really good, if you're being that generous with the moms."

Him: (silence)

Me: "Hello? Did you hear what I said?"

Him: "You'll get something good next year. We won't always have our moms with us."

 

:001_huh: And someone promised that I'd be here next year?

I'm getting "giguz," which is some kind of pigeon Italian for "nothing."

Well, I'm sure I'm getting a card, but......

Oh well.

[crazycoffeechic]

:lol::lol::lol: I might need to take some advice from her!:D

[Colleen]

At least he thought about it. My dh is saying "You're not my mother"

 

Exactly.:) Makes sense to me. Like you said, you want him to take your son to get you something. That, too, makes sense to me. I appreciate it (and so do my boys) when my husband helps them to do something for me. But I certainly don't expect a guy to get something for his own wife for Mother's Day.

[Remudamom]

Ya'll haven't been married long enough. I give dh a list, and expect to have it done without my involvement. And it better be good too, because my birthday is the same week, and I expect a lot of attention.

[Cindy in FL.]

At least he thought about it. My dh is saying "You're not my mother!":glare: All I asked is for him to take ds to get me some Stewie night pants! (Can't help it, I like Stewie:D)

 

My dh tried that one on me, too. I reminded him that he's the one that made me a mother! So, I do expect him to help and encourage the children to do something for Mother's Day.

 

Cindy

[*anj*]

My dh tried that one on me, too. I reminded him that he's the one that made me a mother!

 

Cindy

 

Absobloominlutely!!!!

[crazycoffeechic]

Yeah, I know, but it sounded good when I said it:D

 

Plus, I don't expect dh to get me anything, that's is what he said when I asked him to take ds to get me something.:001_smile:

[Rhonda in TX]

He actually takes the kids shopping for something for me. I think some of that may be DD. I heard her say yesterday, "I need to talk to Dad about Mother's Day." Still... he does good.

 

I watched my mom be disappointed time after time by my dad's forgetfulness. I decided then that I would not put that kind of pressure on my DH. I try to drop big hints about what I want around special occasions. If he doesn't come through, I take myself shopping.

 

Now, if I could get DH to actually WRAP the presents...

[Krista in LA]

I get to spend mothers' day night at a $12/night campground because my dh is too cheap to pay $80 for a hotel room. Since I'm making him take a day off work and drive a couple of hours to meet my parents in Vicksburg, I feel like I must cater to his whims.

 

I am hopeful that he will let me spend the money we saved by staying at the campground to buy something for myself.

[Cheryl in NM]

I called mine at work, here's the convo:

 

Me: I know what I want for Mother's Day.

Dh: Oh yeah, what?

Me: A gift certificate for a massage.

Dh: Where do I get that?

Me: Get in your truck, drive down the hill, turn at Sam's, turn right at the stop sign, turn in at Best Buy, go to the end of the parking lot, turn left. Go into Massage Envy and buy me a 1 hour massage.

Dh: Okay.

Me: Will you go today before you are off work the rest of the week and it takes a special trip into town.

Dh: Probably not, I'll come back in for it.

 

Now what that means is that he'll forget and he'll go to Wal-Mart on Sunday and get flowers and a card.

 

It would be nice to actually get the massage, but I'll probably just have to go down there and pay for it myself. Oh well, at least I'll get the massage!

 

Dh was raised in a house were holidays and special occasions were not important.

 

I was raised in a house were almost everything was celebrated. There were always cards being sent out and received.

 

We've struggled. I've finally come to realize that he doesn't mean anything by forgetting. The struggle is were he wants a specific list of the things I want, but then refuses to shop from the list because then I'd know what I was getting. Argh!

 

On the other hand, a month ago he just showed up with a sappy, lovey card after work one day. He's never done that. That was special.

[Plucky]

So do you feel loved througout the year? I'm not big into gifts or special days but then I'm given gifts and cards accordingly (and I love gift certificates). I wonder if the hurt is bigger on special days when one doesn't feel loved and appreciated on a daily basis?

[*anj*]

So do you feel loved throughout the year? I'm not big into gifts or special days but then I'm given gifts and cards accordingly (and I love gift certificates). I wonder if the hurt is bigger on special days when one doesn't feel loved and appreciated on a daily basis?

 

Well yes, I do. But I do love gifts. They don't have to be big, expensive ones. I love tiny little gifts. When we were dating I was really into mangoes and when we were going to see each other he would often bring me a mango. I still smile when I think of that. So, do you see what I mean?

 

Big or small, I like to know that the giver was actually thinking about me and what I'd like. Otherwise I'd rather get a gift card so that I can get some special thing that I really do want, you know?

 

I guess somehow in my mind there is a difference between Mother's Day and Valentine's Day. I don't give a whit about Valentine's Day. Dh and I have purposely decided to ignore it. But somehow I guess I feel more sentimental about Mother's Day. Kind of like it's an extra birthday or something. And I'd prefer not to do most of the things that I have to do daily (cooking, cleaning, etc.)

 

Oh well.

[Wendi]

Sometimes that's kinda how it goes around here, although at least half of the time, dh comes up with something on his own. Now that ds is old enough, he gets excited about giving me something, too. (This year, it's apparently something he made in art class, that he's VERY EXCITED to give me.)

 

This year, I'm going to a concert with dh for my Mother's Day gift. We heard the Police were coming back to town (they were too expensive on their reunion tour). I said, "The Police! Wish I could go!" And dh said, "That could be your Mother's Day gift, if you want." (Not a bad deal for him, since he likes the Police, too.) So I made arrangements for ds to spend the night with a friend the night of the concert, and we got our tickets.

 

Works out well. We usually go out to lunch for Mother's Day, but since ds is on the elimination diet right now, we can't really eat out. Well, DS can't, but dh and I had dinner from In 'N Out Burger last night while ds was at Awana. Ssshh! Don't tell him!

 

Wendi

[3lilreds in NC]

Big or small, I like to know that the giver was actually thinking about me and what I'd like.

 

That is *exactly* my thing. I'm learning that gifts are more my "love language" than I thought, but it plays more into wanting to know that thought and time went into choosing a gift. I'm big on quality time and that's part of it, you know?

 

My dh is a wonderful man, but SO not into gifts. In fact, often the best gift I can give him is knowing that I didn't spend any extra money getting him something that he won't care about because *I* have a need to give gifts.

 

On the other hand, getting the last HP movie on DVD for my birthday because "I know you didn't really like it but I figured you'd want to have them all on DVD" - well, let's just say that was a little anticlimactic.

 

Dh's idea of Mother's Day is I don't have to cook. We always get lunch out after church, and this is Arby's week. :D Then that night it will be something else. That is about it. It's OK, and certainly better than nothing, but I really like it when someone makes a fuss over me on special occasions, so it leaves me feeling a little sad and disappointed.

 

I was just talking with my friend about this today. She asked me if I thought she should go plan her own Mother's Day so she wouldn't be disappointed. I told her to go for it! I've done that lots of times.

[Mrs. Readsalot]

Him Dear you know we are going to have to spend Mother's Day at my Mom's

Me: Yes Dear

Him: You know my brothers and their wife/girlfriend are going to be there

Me: Yes Dear

Him: You know Brother A will just talk about the new house he is buying (this really bothers dh becasue Brother could care less about our lives) and SIL B will have to be catered to because she is just that way ( this really raises dh blood pressure) and Brother B will talk about his money woos (and then take a big vacation in September) Girlfriend of Brother A will grill me about homeschool and actually say it is just wrong to homeschool(she has done this twice in the past) MIL will pout about one Brother who is not there and cut himself off from the family 20 years ago.

Me Yes Dear ( wow I am really looking forward to this)

Him: Honey you know if no one wishes you a happy Mother's Day I am really going to be mad.

Me: (laughing to myself and wondering what would make him think any of these people would even considering saying this) Yes Dear

Me: New subject Please!

[Trivium Academy]

I'm not disappointed at all, I get more disappointed when I get an absent-minded card or a half-hearted "Happy Mother's Day". In the last 5 years I've given up the "he knows just what I like and desire" or "he'll make my day special"- I love him but "yeah, right". Lol. No, I care more about sleeping in, breakfast in bed, someone else cooking dinner & cleaning up. I'm more about acts of service than I am gifts.

 

If I don't get anything, I treat myself to a spa night at home or a new outfit (if we can afford it). I can take care of myself.

[linders]

My first Mother's Day as a mom was terrific because of what happened on an earlier Valentine's Day...

 

Our first Valentine's as husband and wife fell on a weekend and I planned a ski trip for us (ah, the pre-kid days!) For 2 days before the 14th I did special things...candy hearts in his day planner, lining the walkway home with chocolates, little cards. On the car trip to the area, I kept surprising him with little things. We skied on the 14th. That morning I gave him a lovely hand-made card - it didn't happen to say Valentine's Day on it, just lots of mushy stuff. I waited. Nothing. We skied all day. I waited. Nothing. We had dinner out, where I gave him some little gift and waited. Nothing. He was quite pleased with all these things, but all I got was, "Wow, thanks!"

 

That night he called his ailing mom to say hi. She asked, "So how was your first Valentine's Day?" Silence. "Son, you did do something for Valentine's Day, didn't you?" He hemmed and hawed, then said, "I didn't know what date it was on this year." From across the room I could hear my mild, gentle MIL yelling at him, her much beloved son.

 

And every Valentine's Day, Mother's Day, and birthday since then has been well-celebrated. He really is a sweetie at heart.

 

Well, this year is likely to be different, because he's gone on a long-term assignment...

[Another Lynn]

So do you feel loved througout the year? I'm not big into gifts or special days but then I'm given gifts and cards accordingly (and I love gift certificates). I wonder if the hurt is bigger on special days when one doesn't feel loved and appreciated on a daily basis?

 

 

:iagree:

 

I really dislike receiving presents that I don't already know about. (Does this make me a control freak, or what?) I hate inefficiency and that's what most presents usually are - things I don't need or want. On the other hand, I DO feel pretty appreciated most of the time. He calls as he's leaving work to see if I need something from the store. He's stopping at a gas station for a diet coke and calls to see if I want a coke. That kind of stuff is really thoughtful to me because if it were me I would just hurry home and not bother to ask.

 

His b-day is days away from Mother's Day. I asked him what he wanted. He said "Same thing you got for yours" Whew! That's easy - nothing! We generally get what we want when we want it as long as we can afford it and I love it that way.

[SnowWhite]

Mother's Day is a stressful time for me, because I take on the responsibility of making my MIL happy (which, her dh is one of those, "you're not MY mother" guys), when she lives 12 hours away. I didn't do well last year (our card with gift card arrived a day late). I did much better this year. A handmade mini scrapbook was Priority shipped Tuesday and flowers were delivered yesterday.

 

I even sent cards with photos to the grandmothers and great grandmothers this year! I'm so virtuous, ROFL.

 

We usually go out to eat with my mom. She gets flowers and gifts.

 

I get a card... but this year we are shopping for a new digi cam (thanks, stimulus check) and I will call that my Mother's Day gift.

[A home for their hearts]

My dh hardly ever gives gifts he just wasn't raised that way. I, on the other hand was so it's been hard for me to get used to but I slowly am. Once in awhile, like Valentines Day this year, I will call him at work and say, 'can you stop at the stop and pick up xyz, and maybe get the kids a small valentine...hint, hint, and then he'll usually come walking in the door with something for me. I guess I finally figured my way around it. lol One year for Mother's Day I sent him to the store with all the kiddos and told him to buy me something, I didn't care what just something. He was gone for 3 hours and went to 2 stores. He came back with a movie, a candle holder, and a yard sign. He did okay, but my real present was 3 hours to myself!!!!

[nutmeg]

I spent last Mother's Day listening to my sil and nephew scream at each other.

 

I one before that came in the midst of fil's funeral.

 

I"m just grateful to be staying home this year. :001_smile:

[crazycoffeechic]

My dh tried that one on me, too. I reminded him that he's the one that made me a mother! So, I do expect him to help and encourage the children to do something for Mother's Day.

 

Cindy

 

I wish I could use that excuse, but I can't, we have no kids together.:glare:

[yinne]

This year my birthday happens to fall on Mother's Day and we are going to relatives. My sil doesn't know what she is having, but I told her to let me know what my dh should bring!! Goodness I shouldn't have to cook on Mother's Day when it doubles as my birthday!

 

One year he shows up with a four-wheeler on my birthday.:glare:

Really it's for you. Yeah right!!!

I ask for anything big and the question is, "Is it tax deductible?"

 

I might receive something, but I've learned not to plan on it. Just easier to shop for myself!

 

Yvonne in NE

[Mamagistra]

At least he thought about it. My dh is saying "You're not my mother!":glare: All I asked is for him to take ds to get me some Stewie night pants! (Can't help it, I like Stewie:D)

 

BLAST! :D

[Mama Bear]

from the kids' AND their dad -- really from him, 'cause they weren't old enough, was the biggest, baddest (at the time) ipod they made. It has our 10yr anniversary trip to Tahiti pics on it, plus much of the music we had. He was very good at gift giving, generous to a fault.

 

The first year alone (with the tiny baby who was at the time getting all the scary diagnoses), my attorney's office sent me roses. I bawled.

 

My mom makes sure my kids get me cards and chocolates. Which would explain the hips, TYVM. :tongue_smilie: Her kindness makes me wanna do things like remodel her kitchen for her, or buy her a diamond mine. You know, little stuff. :D

 

Happy Mother's Day to you all -- to the daddies too! In case you need reminding, you're precious, not just to your kids, and you rock for putting yourself out there every day, more than you might absolutely have to, to make sure that your families get what they need and that they have the best of you.

 

Blessings.

[melhouse]

:iagree:

 

I really dislike receiving presents that I don't already know about. (Does this make me a control freak, or what?) I hate inefficiency and that's what most presents usually are - things I don't need or want. On the other hand, I DO feel pretty appreciated most of the time. He calls as he's leaving work to see if I need something from the store. He's stopping at a gas station for a diet coke and calls to see if I want a coke. That kind of stuff is really thoughtful to me because if it were me I would just hurry home and not bother to ask.

 

His b-day is days away from Mother's Day. I asked him what he wanted. He said "Same thing you got for yours" Whew! That's easy - nothing! We generally get what we want when we want it as long as we can afford it and I love it that way.

 

Wow! I could have written this post!! This is exactly how dh & I are. We also usually save up our occassion presents for tax refund time so we don't feel guilty about spending.

 

In my family, pre DH, we told each other what we wanted for birthdays or Christmas. In fact, my db and I would buy ourselves what we wanted (within the set spending limit), and we'd bring our own gifts to the get-together. This same brother always wanted people to get what they really wanted. When my dd was @ 3, he was buying her a stuffed bear. He called me from the aisle at Toys R Us asking me which one she would want. He was describing them, etc. I told him to pick the one he thought she would like, but he insisted I tell him which one I would choose. He passed away a few years ago, and I really miss him! I got teary just writing that:crying:

 

I've enjoyed reading the stories!

Melissa

[Kate CA]

 

The first year alone (with the tiny baby who was at the time getting all the scary diagnoses), my attorney's office sent me roses. I bawled.

 

My mom makes sure my kids get me cards and chocolates. Which would explain the hips, TYVM. :tongue_smilie: Her kindness makes me wanna do things like remodel her kitchen for her, or buy her a diamond mine. You know, little stuff. :D

 

Happy Mother's Day to you all -- to the daddies too! In case you need reminding, you're precious, not just to your kids, and you rock for putting yourself out there every day, more than you might absolutely have to, to make sure that your families get what they need and that they have the best of you.

 

Blessings.

 

You know, MB, you have the most poignant way of putting it all into perspective. I really appreciate that. God bless YOU this Mother's Day.

 

Hugs. :)

[gardenschooler]

I don't even really care about Mother's Day - frankly, I'd like to see the effort put into my birthday, which is a REAL holiday! :D I'm a mother every day of the year, so they should be nice to me every day, right? It all feels kind of hokey to me.

 

I told them not to do anything, just get me a houseplant and be done with it (because they think they have to do something, why, I don't know).

 

They need to save their energy for my birthday! I'll be 40 and I want it acknowledged. All they have to do is say, "Hey! Happy Birthday! How great!"

 

That's it. Is that so hard?

[Another Lynn]

It all feels kind of hokey to me.

 

 

Yep! - something invented by Hallmark, Carlton, Flower companies, chocolate companies, etc. to get us to spend more on their stuff.

[Trivium Academy]

No, it wasn't invented by the card companies. http://www.mothersdaycentral.com/about-mothersday/history/

[*anj*]

No, it wasn't invented by the card companies. http://www.mothersdaycentral.com/about-mothersday/history/

 

Thanks Jess. I was just about to say the same thing. It is now being used by card companies, but it was invented for a very noble purpose.:001_smile:

[lynn]

My anniversary, b-day, and mother's day are within a month of each other. I usually enjoy a shopping spree without children that covers all 3. DH is good about remember flowers, which I love. We went out for mother's day last Sunday because I hate waiting in crowds when we eat out. Grilling out steak is tradition for everyone's b-day. I'll probably pick up a cheesecake factory cake for dessert. Sometimes if you want something done you have to do it yourself;)

[CalicoKat]

Him: What are we doing this weekend?

Me: (snort) surviving it, hopefully with grace & patience.

Him: No really, aren't we going to do anything different?

 

I guess I'm planning my own holiday here. I liked someone's idea of grilling out.

[Melissa B]

I think I must be the only one in the world with the opposite problem.

 

DH - Would you like anything for mother's day this year?

Me - No, not really.

DH - How about jewelry?

Me - No

DH - Would you wear it?

Me - Probably not. We really can't afford it.

DH - Anything?

Me - No. I would like to save the money just in case we need to buy a new car later this year.

 

Later:

 

DH - I'm taking your watch to be fixed so you can take it on the trip later this month. (This was my mother's day gift from him on my first mother's day.) And I've decided we are going to the park for a picnic on my day off on Tuesday if the weather is good.

 

He is really so sweet!!!

 

He loves gifts and the kids and I like to think up what to get him and what to do on Father's Day!!! (And Father's Day has a tendency to last long into the night ;)) I find that much more fun than recieving gifts on Mother's Day. :D

[PiCO]

I'm not one for manufactured holidays (mother's day, father's day, grandparents' day, teacher appreciation week, secretaries' day, blah blah blah...)

 

When the kids were younger, we never even told them those days existed, but I took a day all to myself on Mother's Day. That way dh could say he got me something. Dh didn't want a day off, so he never got a father's day present.

[PiCO]

That night he called his ailing mom to say hi. She asked, "So how was your first Valentine's Day?" Silence. "Son, you did do something for Valentine's Day, didn't you?"

 

Great story!

[cin]

The first year alone (with the tiny baby who was at the time getting all the scary diagnoses), my attorney's office sent me roses. I bawled.

 

 

 

This made me cry too. What a GREAT attorney!