What do you think of this potty training method?

[mo2]

http://www.cpnonline.org/CRS/CRS/pa_btrainin_hhg.htm

 

This is what was prescribed to us by our ped. I'm not sure....No reminders? Has anyone had success with this method?

 

:confused:

[fairytalemama]

How old is your child? We tried every method under the sun with my son until one day he woke up and decided he was potty trained. Here's a link to my celebratory thread. If they're older, sometimes you just have to wait for the kid to decide to do it. He's had some accidents since then, but for the most part he has been dry day and night since he made the decision on his own. Potty training is so hard. I hear you. :grouphug:

[Carrie12345]

"If your child is soiled, she will probably need your help with cleanup. If your child refuses to let you change her, ground her in her bedroom until she is ready."

 

Oh, that doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster at all! :001_huh:

 

I could get on board for #4 and #8. The rest is garbage, imo. (Well, getting daycare on board with whatever is important if you use daycare!)

[mo2]

How old is your child?

 

4, and has SPD. So I'm not entirely sure if it is "resistance" to toilet training like the ped thinks it is.

 

 

"If your child is soiled, she will probably need your help with cleanup. If your child refuses to let you change her, ground her in her bedroom until she is ready."

 

Oh, that doesn't sound like a recipe for disaster at all! :001_huh:

 

I agree with you there. I was kind of like :001_huh:

[Jean in Newcastle]

Ds13 who has some sensory issues was a late 3 when he finally potty trained. I was lamenting to another mom who knew us well and she said, "Your child is so much more verbal than tactile. Have you thought of putting what you want into words?" She didn't mean telling him to "Go use the potty!" What she meant and what worked for us was telling him, "When you have to pee, you get a tickly feeling in your p*nis. If you feel that, go to the potty." and "When you have to poop, you get a pushing feeling on the back of your bottom. If you feel that, go to the potty." I couldn't believe it - ds looked at me and said, "Oh!" And days later he was potty trained.

[Sherry in OH]

We did something similar with our oldest. We told him he was a big boy and that big boys wear underpants not diapers. The first day he did not make it to the bathroom once. The second day he began asking to go. By the end of the third day he was urine trained. It took a week or so to complete training.

Not wanting to be changed was never an issue, he did not like the feel of wet underpants.

 

I have resorted to bribery with DS2. He is urine trained, but not BM. He and his brother get M&Ms every time he has a BM in the toilet. If he soils his underpants, we clean him and change him, but no M&Ms.

[mo2]

Ds13 who has some sensory issues was a late 3 when he finally potty trained. I was lamenting to another mom who knew us well and she said, "Your child is so much more verbal than tactile. Have you thought of putting what you want into words?" She didn't mean telling him to "Go use the potty!" What she meant and what worked for us was telling him, "When you have to pee, you get a tickly feeling in your p*nis. If you feel that, go to the potty." and "When you have to poop, you get a pushing feeling on the back of your bottom. If you feel that, go to the potty." I couldn't believe it - ds looked at me and said, "Oh!" And days later he was potty trained.

 

I will try this!

[mo2]

We did something similar with our oldest. We told him he was a big boy and that big boys wear underpants not diapers. The first day he did not make it to the bathroom once. The second day he began asking to go. By the end of the third day he was urine trained. It took a week or so to complete training.

Not wanting to be changed was never an issue, he did not like the feel of wet underpants.

 

I have resorted to bribery with DS2. He is urine trained, but not BM. He and his brother get M&Ms every time he has a BM in the toilet. If he soils his underpants, we clean him and change him, but no M&Ms.

 

 

We're on day 2. We haven't made it to the potty yet.

[ChandlerMom]

Keep in mind that to become a Pediatrician, most programs do not require a SINGLE course in developmental psychology, so take any of their advice that is "behavior related" with a grain if salt. [i'm sure some do opt to take some coursework and some programs may require it, but the major regional med school in my area does not and IMO many Drs operate outside their area of expertise when they venture into the area of child psychology.]

 

So first off, go with your gut. Is it resistance or disinterest or difficulty or something else? That's not something a Dr will be able to figure out in the 12min they spend with your child.

 

It's really not unnatural for kids to not fully PT until 6yo, so a 4yo doesn't sound that odd. Is he totally disinterested or "mostly PT" but still having accidents? Doesn't want to stop playing to go potty? Doesn't know he needs to go? Daytime or nighttime? Fear of failure?

 

Hugs and good luck!

[july19]

My son was over 3 and still didn't care about being in diapers. I tried every trick in every book. Wanna know what worked? One day, after changing a dirty pull-up with horrible anti-biotic induced diarrhea that subsequently ran all over me and piqued the cats interest...so he got in it, realized too late, and then scampered off leaving little tiny cat prints of poo everywhere, I leaned back against the wall, sunk to the floor and cried, even still covered in poo.

 

My little guy came over and asked what was wrong. I told him that I was okay, I just wished he would go poo and pee in the toilet. And he said, "Oh. Okay. I will. Don't want you to cry over it."

 

And he has. Ever since. Even that night. He peed before bed, woke up dry the next day.

 

So I probably emotionally scarred him for life, but come on! No more diapers! =P

[mo2]

Keep in mind that to become a Pediatrician, most programs do not require a SINGLE course in developmental psychology, so take any of their advice that is "behavior related" with a grain if salt. [i'm sure some do opt to take some coursework and some programs may require it, but the major regional med school in my area does not and IMO many Drs operate outside their area of expertise when they venture into the area of child psychology.]

 

So first off, go with your gut. Is it resistance or disinterest or difficulty or something else? That's not something a Dr will be able to figure out in the 12min they spend with your child.

 

It's really not unnatural for kids to not fully PT until 6yo, so a 4yo doesn't sound that odd. Is he totally disinterested or "mostly PT" but still having accidents? Doesn't want to stop playing to go potty? Doesn't know he needs to go? Daytime or nighttime? Fear of failure?

 

Hugs and good luck!

 

 

Hmm. Well, I'm having a hard time figuring out if I believe it is resistance or inability to PT. He has not gone pee or poop on the potty at all. Not once. He doesn't even like to sit on it. He will tell me that he has peed only if it is running down his legs. I don't know if he knows he needs to go---he never tells me until after the fact.

 

I overheard someone ask him why he doesn't use the potty, and he said, "Because I don't want to." But can you really take that at face value? I mean, he's 4. Limited vocabulary and experience....maybe he doesn't know how to say what he really wants to say, you know?

[Carrie12345]

He has not gone pee or poop on the potty at all. Not once. He doesn't even like to sit on it.

 

Have you tried different types of chairs and seats?

 

(Just asking. I'm no expert. Only 1 of my kids was fully trained before 4, and only by a few months!)

[mo2]

Have you tried different types of chairs and seats?

 

(Just asking. I'm no expert. Only 1 of my kids was fully trained before 4, and only by a few months!)

 

 

No, all we have is the one left over from his older sibling. He saw one he wants at a store and I am going to get it for him tomorrow (even though I can't afford to). Maybe it will motivate him. I can hope, anyway.

 

Stickers, M&Ms, etc....Tried it. Didn't work.

[Mommee & Baba]

:grouphug:Hang in there.

 

I trained all 3 of my children differently. And not to be rude or disrespectful about your pediatrician, but they are taught to prescribe a problem. If you bring up that your dc is not yet potty trained then to them by their charts it's a problem, which in turn means they need to prescribe it. I will go to an experienced mother on MOST of my child related questions before a pediatrician, unless of an emergency of course.

 

Potty training is like talking. With patience, practice and reassurance it will happen.

 

I tried dc1 on the potty training idea around 18m because my peditrician suggested it. She was very resentful and would potty EVERYWHERE but the potty! It was a nightmare and a very MESSy and frustrating experience! I stopped and brought the idea back up when she was a little over the age of 2 & I finally listened to my close friend who had already been down the potty training route and she suggested I stop talking about it and when dc came to the bathroom when I was going potty to just have her sit on her potty because that's what the bathroom is partly used for. First couple times she left the room so she didn't have to try and go potty and then after a couple days she started coming in and going potty while I went! It wasn't until a couple months shy of her 3rd birthday that she was potty trained.

 

I tried dc2 on the potty training idea when she was 2. I tried the drink on the potty til you go, sing and dance and hang out in the bathroom. UNFUN for mama and dc didn't like it one bit either! She didn't like making a big deal over the potty. When she did go potty and I'd clap and sing she'd get very upset. So I stopped. Then she completely stopped wanting to even tell me about it and just go in her panties and then take them off and change herself into new panties...Finally she went back into diapers and after a month of diapers she decided one day it was time to go on the potty again...because big sissy was going potty..so she wanted to go potty too. And pretty much on her own she did it!

 

DC3 didn't show ANY signs and doesn't even really talk that well so I was concerned on how to even think about potty training him. He wasn't even 2 yet so I didn't even bother with the idea, I just wanted to get him talking more before I was to worry about potty training him. Then one day we were getting ready for our shower and I went potty and then asked him if he wanted to sit on the potty too and he shook his head yes..and he WENT!! I was so excited! We got out of the shower and I sat him on there again and he went AGAIN!! He spent the next hours going potty off and on....TINY little bits at a time but he saw our reaction and how excited the girls and I were for him that he just wanted to keep going all day long...He's been potty trained since about 3 weeks PRIOR to his 2nd birthday! Now he tells us when he has to go but in the beginning everytime....EVERYTIME....EVERYTIME myself of dh had to go to the bathroom we brought him with us and had him sit on the potty to "talk" so we weren't alone in the bathroom and he would sit on the potty and gab at us in his language and then POOF he'd go potty! :)

 

So in time it'll come. The less you push and the more "natural" you act about it...the likely it'll feel normal and not so scary.

 

Let me add...that stickers, potty charts, cookies, candies....NOTHING worked with ANY of my dc. The ONLY thing that was similar to ALL three of them was that dh and I were just very "natural" about it. Bathroom is for potty and bath and teeth brushing...ect....not playing in...you come in while I'm in here...you must try and do something that is done in the bathroom....or please get out...and all my children wanted to hang out with me...so while I'd put on makeup or brush my teeth they'd sit on the potty...and even if they didn't go...I'd still give them some hugs and let them know I was proud of them for sitting on the potty and trying to go potty and be off.

 

I hope some of this will help in your journey with your dc.

Edited April 3, 2011 by mamaofblessings

[Carrie12345]

No, all we have is the one left over from his older sibling. He saw one he wants at a store and I am going to get it for him tomorrow (even though I can't afford to). Maybe it will motivate him. I can hope, anyway.

 

Stickers, M&Ms, etc....Tried it. Didn't work.

 

Check consignment stores, too. (No worse than public bathrooms!!!)

I mention it b/c of the SPD. If the toilet is uncomfortable, no, he's not going to want to! ;)

[mo2]

And not to be rude or disrespectful about your pediatrician, but they are taught to prescribe a problem. If you bring up that your dc is not yet potty trained then to them by their charts it's a problem, which in turn means they need to prescribe it. I will go to an experienced mother on MOST of my child related questions before a pediatrician, unless of an emergency of course.

 

 

 

 

Thank you for sharing your stories.

 

I didn't even bring it up to the ped, but when he did his exam he questioned why my son was in a diaper. That's how it all came up. :)

 

I mean, I figure that in 10 years we won't even remember/care about the whole potty training ordeal.

[Mynyel]

Hmm. Well, I'm having a hard time figuring out if I believe it is resistance or inability to PT. He has not gone pee or poop on the potty at all. Not once. He doesn't even like to sit on it. He will tell me that he has peed only if it is running down his legs. I don't know if he knows he needs to go---he never tells me until after the fact.

 

I overheard someone ask him why he doesn't use the potty, and he said, "Because I don't want to." But can you really take that at face value? I mean, he's 4. Limited vocabulary and experience....maybe he doesn't know how to say what he really wants to say, you know?

 

He may be 4 but he knows what he wants. My ds9, who didn't PT until he was over 4 also didn't want to.

 

I bought him some snazzy CARS (he loves, even now, Lightning McQueen) underwear to try and get him to PT. Know what he said? "Underwear are stupid". OooooK guess not right now. So I tried again a few months later. Got a potty chart and a small dollar store toy. Put the toy on the back of the toilet and said when you go on the toilet you can have the toy. It was a matchbox toy jet airplane. He sat on the toilet 2 hours (his choice! I tried to get him down). He didn't go, but I let him have the toy just for trying that time. After that I did it again and he went. He never looked back. He has only had one accident.

 

So don't push it, try something and if it doesn't work wait a bit and try again.

 

I am *trying* to get my ds2 almost 3 trained. He will go to the potty as long as he is naked. If he has underwear or a diaper on he will go in them... haven't figured that out yet. But I on't make a big deal out of it. Just change him up and let him go. I figure it is a little early for him then. He will get it eventually.

 

 

On a side not it says in #7 to ground your child for not letting you help clean up then goes on to say in #8 to not punish your child for accidents? Isn't that splitting hairs a little? :confused::001_huh:

[justamouse]

This is gonna be long.

 

First, hang in there.

 

I was potty trained when I was 9 months old. Mom had no choice, we were living in Brazil and being in cloth diapers/plastic covers + heat were giving me horrid rashes. So, she took the diaper cover off and when I made a mess, she handed me a rag and I cleaned it. I am not scarred from this, I assure you.

 

My first was a nightmare to potty train. He was smart enough, he just refused. Eventually we made it there, but I knew there had to be a better way.

 

Number two came along, and she must have genetically inherited my skin sensitivities and at 2 I had no other choice but to potty train her. We were at the Dr every week for her rashes. So, in desperation, I bought Potty Train Your Child in a Day. It worked. And, the funny thing was that it basically is how my mother potty trained me. All of my other children ended up having to be potty trained at 2, too, and it worked with all of them.

 

First, I would get trainer pants. Not pull ups. Those big, bulky panties that you can buy at wall universe. If you can't get them, get some cloth diapers. They need to *feel* the wet. They need to be uncomfortable.

 

Plan on spending a few days in the kitchen. Gate off the kitchen doors, and either get a potty chair or make sure a bathroom is close.

 

Get a doll that goes pee. Put their big kid pants on, and give them the doll. You are going to teach them how to potty train the doll. You feed the doll, the doll pees and we all clean it up. "Oh, no, baby, you need to go in the potty!"

 

You feed the doll the next time, the doll goes pee and child cleans it up. "Whoops! Dolly needs to sit on the potty!" You feed the doll, doll pees and you tell child, "No. dolly has to clean it up and put the dolly on the potty." Dolly gets fed, dolly pees on potty, Yay! M&Ms for everyone!

 

Child is in the big kid panties, child pees and we all clean it up. But now, child is a big kid, and now gets to clean it up themselves, just like the doll. Kid goes pee, you hand kid a mopine and kid cleans up mess.

 

OK, lets try to go to the potty, just like the dolly!

 

There will be resistance and there will be messes. They can't learn if they don't make the mistakes. But now, they've learned the process from teaching the doll. It's shouldn't take that long, if you start in the morning, not more than a day.

 

All my kids were taught this way, all of them learned in a day. The girls never had another accident, the boys did and had to be reminded once in a while.

 

 

Good luck and hang in there.

[JennyD]

The link doesn't seem so much of a "potty training method" to me as a "what to do when your 3yo is seriously resisting using the potty." And in that case, I can see how unilaterally disengaging from the struggle could be a very good strategy.

 

But it doesn't make sense for just setting out to train a child, IMO.

[Wheres Toto]

I'm struggling with my 3 year old. We've done the one day method, the three day method, the straight to underwear, m&m's, money....everything. We would try until she ran away screaming from the idea of using the potty, then we'd back off a little while, then try again. She doesn't care about being wet, it's like she doesn't feel it even in cloth diapers or underwear.

 

We may have hit on something but it's too early to tell. She really really wants a purple unicorn pillow pet. For two days now she's been willing to go potty if we remind her she can get her pillow pet once she uses the potty all the time. She still isn't going on her own initiative, but she's not running away screaming either.

 

Good luck. It's a long, hard struggle. This is my last so once I'm done with her, I'm done with diapers.

[Murmer]

I know that one of the things that was asked a number of times while we were getting dd diagnosed was about potty training. We have come to believe that my dd does not necessarily feel the urge to urinate or defecate. I know she does not feel pain the way a "typical" person would...a raging ear infections comes across as out of control wild child who comments 1 time that her ear hurt. So it is not hard to realize that the sensations involved in potty training are hard for her to notice especially when she is seeking sensory input. I would talk to your OT or whomever you work with for his SPD and see what they say.

[mo2]

I know that one of the things that was asked a number of times while we were getting dd diagnosed was about potty training. We have come to believe that my dd does not necessarily feel the urge to urinate or defecate. I know she does not feel pain the way a "typical" person would...a raging ear infections comes across as out of control wild child who comments 1 time that her ear hurt. So it is not hard to realize that the sensations involved in potty training are hard for her to notice especially when she is seeking sensory input. I would talk to your OT or whomever you work with for his SPD and see what they say.

 

 

The OT wanted us to try an every-2-hour toileting schedule. Tried it---couldn't even get him close to the thing. He is sensory seeking. And, like you, I often don't know when he is sick because he doesn't complain about pain.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Mind if I hijack since all of you who have btdt are here in one location already.

 

Ds4 will be 5 on the 28th. He is still in pull-ups at night (don't try to talk me out of pull-ups at night...I am so sick of washing 2 sets of sheets everyday. After I get the daytime taken care of I will takle the night time.) So, the point of posting is this. He still can't get himself at all clean when he has a bm. I have tried getting him the flushable wipes but he will use up a whole box. He also frequently has bm accidents; at least once a week. I ask him constantly if he has to go to the bathroom and will even make him go and sit if I think he is trying to "hold it". Sometimes after sitting on the potty for 10-15 minutes he will get off and then go in his pants!What am I doing wrong or have others had a similar experience at this age? My three older girls potty trained very easily so this is all new territory for me. I am so tire of wiping his big boy bum.:tongue_smilie:Any advice?

[Joanne]

I didn't potty train any of mine.

 

I actually am ok with a lot of the article. I don't like the "poop wants to be in the potty" stuff. I don't like the rewards/incentives, either.

 

I let my kids know, mostly through observation, that when people get older, they use a potty. I let them know when they were ready to do that, I'd get them regular underwear and they'd use the potty, too.

 

I never "reminded". I never rewarded. When my kids asked for "big boy/big girl" underwear, we went to Wal Mart and got it. We had few accidents.

 

My kids ranged from 2.5 to 3.25 during this.

[warriormom]

I tried everything under the sun. The only thing that worked was taking my son to the potty every 30 minutes for 3 weeks. I read books to him while he went potty. I challenged myself to read over a 100 books to keep my eyes off of the potty training goal. I also used a sticker chart. Evertime he filled up the sticker chart we had a movie night. Finally, we went on a road trip to see family with him in pull ups. He told us EVERYTIME he had to go potty after that with no accidents. Once he was potty trained we bought him a fun toy. He was 3.5 at the time.

Edited April 4, 2011 by cabreban

[Puma Mom]

This is gonna be long.

 

First, hang in there.

 

I was potty trained when I was 9 months old. Mom had no choice, we were living in Brazil and being in cloth diapers/plastic covers + heat were giving me horrid rashes. So, she took the diaper cover off and when I made a mess, she handed me a rag and I cleaned it. I am not scarred from this, I assure you.

 

My first was a nightmare to potty train. He was smart enough, he just refused. Eventually we made it there, but I knew there had to be a better way.

 

Number two came along, and she must have genetically inherited my skin sensitivities and at 2 I had no other choice but to potty train her. We were at the Dr every week for her rashes. So, in desperation, I bought Potty Train Your Child in a Day. It worked. And, the funny thing was that it basically is how my mother potty trained me. All of my other children ended up having to be potty trained at 2, too, and it worked with all of them.

 

First, I would get trainer pants. Not pull ups. Those big, bulky panties that you can buy at wall universe. If you can't get them, get some cloth diapers. They need to *feel* the wet. They need to be uncomfortable.

 

Plan on spending a few days in the kitchen. Gate off the kitchen doors, and either get a potty chair or make sure a bathroom is close.

 

Get a doll that goes pee. Put their big kid pants on, and give them the doll. You are going to teach them how to potty train the doll. You feed the doll, the doll pees and we all clean it up. "Oh, no, baby, you need to go in the potty!"

 

You feed the doll the next time, the doll goes pee and child cleans it up. "Whoops! Dolly needs to sit on the potty!" You feed the doll, doll pees and you tell child, "No. dolly has to clean it up and put the dolly on the potty." Dolly gets fed, dolly pees on potty, Yay! M&Ms for everyone!

 

Child is in the big kid panties, child pees and we all clean it up. But now, child is a big kid, and now gets to clean it up themselves, just like the doll. Kid goes pee, you hand kid a mopine and kid cleans up mess.

 

OK, lets try to go to the potty, just like the dolly!

 

There will be resistance and there will be messes. They can't learn if they don't make the mistakes. But now, they've learned the process from teaching the doll. It's shouldn't take that long, if you start in the morning, not more than a day.

 

All my kids were taught this way, all of them learned in a day. The girls never had another accident, the boys did and had to be reminded once in a while.

 

 

Good luck and hang in there.

We used this exact method with ours. They were PT at 21, 22 and 24 months.

 

The only thing I would add is to give them LOTS of liquid during the training time so that they have lots of opportunity to practice. For mine, it seemed to be about connecting the feeling of needing to pee with what it was. Lots of liquid (and therefore practice) helped them. understand.

[MamaSheep]

Well, I typed up a whole thing about our experiences trying to potty train our ds, and then decided it was too personal and he would not appreciate me publicizing his struggles. So I'm just going to say that we have had some rather extensive experience with toileting "issues" and leave it at that for now.

 

I say if you feel there's more going on than simple resistance, follow your instincts. Did you know the American Pediatrics Association (I think it was them) did a study and found that mothers are right 80% of the time about things like that? Trust your gut. If what you've been doing isn't working, it won't hurt to try something different. But if something sounds like a Really Bad Idea it probably is.

 

I agree with the poster who suggested explaining in as much detail as possible what it feels like to need to use the toilet. That was a big help along our (wet, stinky) journey.

 

We also found that positive reinforcements and rewards were MUCH more effective than punishments. Rewards and praise for appropriate toileting, and a matter-of-fact "oops, let's clean it up and get on with life" approach to accidents really did get us the best results.

 

Nagging and "reminding" didn't do much good and did tend to make him resistant (yes, we tried pretty much every suggestion OUT there at one time or another). But he really didn't every think to go by himself, so I had to figure out some way to tell him to go without nagging him into defiance mode. What worked there was this: First I sat with him and had a little chat. I said I could tell he hated it when I nagged him to use the bathroom, and I hated having to nag at him, and it was just making both of us miserable. So I wasn't going to do it anymore. But we needed to figure out a way that he would remember, because I would not be a good parent if I just let him walk around stinky and wet. Other people don't like to be around people who are covered in poop or pee because it smells bad, and besides that it could make him or other people sick. So we need to come up with a "plan". So instead of the nagging we were going to come up with a potty plan, where we picked the times of day when he HAD to sit on the toilet. He could go at any other time he felt like he needed to, but at those times of day he was required to at least go in the bathroom, sit on the toilet, and "check" to see if anything needed to come out. I said I would pick some times of day, and if he wanted to he could add some of his own. Then we wrote down the potty plan on a little chart and posted it. (I think initially it was first thing when he woke up, after breakfast, mid-morning, after lunch, mid-afternoon, after supper, and at bedtime). And I told him that if he remembered to go by himself at those times I would never need to nag him and we would never even need to talk about it unless he wanted to. But if it was that time of day and he DIDN'T remember on his own, I had to do my job as a good mom and remind him. So please don't be angry with me, or argue with me, I'm just trying to do my job. And if you go right away and at least "check", then we won't have to talk about it anymore. You don't have to "go", you only have to "check". That way it won't make you uncomfortable and it won't overflow and make a mess, and we can be friends. This plan worked out really well.

 

In his case part of the problem was a learned resistance, but another part of the problem was (I am now very convinced) that his sensory issues and some other aspects of his autism made it so that he honestly could not sort out the elimination urge from all the other confusing sensations that bombarded him constantly. I think partly he didn't understand what it felt like, and partly he just didn't "get" the signal in the first place. I'm still not sure if it was just too subtle, or if the rest of the world was too overwhelming and drowned it out, but whichever it was (or IS, really; it's an ongoing issue, it's just managed better now), it was not just stubbornness on his part.

 

So I do agree with some of the sentiments in the link when it comes to dealing with toileting issues with an "older" child, but I think if there are sensory things going on you might want to make some modifications. I think an explanation of how it "feels" is a good step, and I would definitely recommend a potty plan instead of just completely leaving him alone about it. But I do agree with the positive reinforcement angle and eliminating the nagging.

 

Good luck!

[Sherry in OH]

Mind if I hijack since all of you who have btdt are here in one location already.

 

Ds4 will be 5 on the 28th. He is still in pull-ups at night (don't try to talk me out of pull-ups at night...I am so sick of washing 2 sets of sheets everyday. After I get the daytime taken care of I will takle the night time.) So, the point of posting is this. He still can't get himself at all clean when he has a bm. I have tried getting him the flushable wipes but he will use up a whole box. He also frequently has bm accidents; at least once a week. I ask him constantly if he has to go to the bathroom and will even make him go and sit if I think he is trying to "hold it". Sometimes after sitting on the potty for 10-15 minutes he will get off and then go in his pants!What am I doing wrong or have others had a similar experience at this age? My three older girls potty trained very easily so this is all new territory for me. I am so tire of wiping his big boy bum.:tongue_smilie:Any advice?

 

My 5 year old does not wipe himself. He calls me when he is done. If I am not nearby he hops through the house with his pants around his ankles until he finds me (or dh) to ask for help.

 

Sitting for 10-15 minutes then going in his pants sounds more like my 3 year old. Is it easier for your son to go if he stands or squats?

[5LittleMonkeys]

My 5 year old does not wipe himself. He calls me when he is done. If I am not nearby he hops through the house with his pants around his ankles until he finds me (or dh) to ask for help.

 

Sitting for 10-15 minutes then going in his pants sounds more like my 3 year old. Is it easier for your son to go if he stands or squats?

 

Well, glad to know that he isn't the only 5 year old that doesn't wipe himself! As for standing up ... I'm not sure how that would work for a bm.:tongue_smilie: He never has pee pee accidents; only bm accidents. Dh just thinks he holds it for so long that he finally ends up not being able to hold it any longer. I tend to agree but can't figure out how to get him to stop holding it for so long.

[WiseOwlKnits]

This is gonna be long.

 

First, hang in there.

 

I was potty trained when I was 9 months old. Mom had no choice, we were living in Brazil and being in cloth diapers/plastic covers + heat were giving me horrid rashes. So, she took the diaper cover off and when I made a mess, she handed me a rag and I cleaned it. I am not scarred from this, I assure you.

 

My first was a nightmare to potty train. He was smart enough, he just refused. Eventually we made it there, but I knew there had to be a better way.

 

Number two came along, and she must have genetically inherited my skin sensitivities and at 2 I had no other choice but to potty train her. We were at the Dr every week for her rashes. So, in desperation, I bought Potty Train Your Child in a Day. It worked. And, the funny thing was that it basically is how my mother potty trained me. All of my other children ended up having to be potty trained at 2, too, and it worked with all of them.

 

First, I would get trainer pants. Not pull ups. Those big, bulky panties that you can buy at wall universe. If you can't get them, get some cloth diapers. They need to *feel* the wet. They need to be uncomfortable.

 

Plan on spending a few days in the kitchen. Gate off the kitchen doors, and either get a potty chair or make sure a bathroom is close.

 

Get a doll that goes pee. Put their big kid pants on, and give them the doll. You are going to teach them how to potty train the doll. You feed the doll, the doll pees and we all clean it up. "Oh, no, baby, you need to go in the potty!"

 

You feed the doll the next time, the doll goes pee and child cleans it up. "Whoops! Dolly needs to sit on the potty!" You feed the doll, doll pees and you tell child, "No. dolly has to clean it up and put the dolly on the potty." Dolly gets fed, dolly pees on potty, Yay! M&Ms for everyone!

 

Child is in the big kid panties, child pees and we all clean it up. But now, child is a big kid, and now gets to clean it up themselves, just like the doll. Kid goes pee, you hand kid a mopine and kid cleans up mess.

 

OK, lets try to go to the potty, just like the dolly!

 

There will be resistance and there will be messes. They can't learn if they don't make the mistakes. But now, they've learned the process from teaching the doll. It's shouldn't take that long, if you start in the morning, not more than a day.

 

All my kids were taught this way, all of them learned in a day. The girls never had another accident, the boys did and had to be reminded once in a while.

 

 

Good luck and hang in there.

 

This is pretty much the method I used with my kids. DD was fully potty trained at 20 months. It took 2 days. DS was fully trained at 23 months. It took a week.

[fairfarmhand]

Mind if I hijack since all of you who have btdt are here in one location already.

 

Ds4 will be 5 on the 28th. He is still in pull-ups at night (don't try to talk me out of pull-ups at night...I am so sick of washing 2 sets of sheets everyday. After I get the daytime taken care of I will takle the night time.) So, the point of posting is this. He still can't get himself at all clean when he has a bm. I have tried getting him the flushable wipes but he will use up a whole box. He also frequently has bm accidents; at least once a week. I ask him constantly if he has to go to the bathroom and will even make him go and sit if I think he is trying to "hold it". Sometimes after sitting on the potty for 10-15 minutes he will get off and then go in his pants!What am I doing wrong or have others had a similar experience at this age? My three older girls potty trained very easily so this is all new territory for me. I am so tire of wiping his big boy bum.:tongue_smilie:Any advice?

 

Well, glad to know that he isn't the only 5 year old that doesn't wipe himself! As for standing up ... I'm not sure how that would work for a bm.:tongue_smilie: He never has pee pee accidents; only bm accidents. Dh just thinks he holds it for so long that he finally ends up not being able to hold it any longer. I tend to agree but can't figure out how to get him to stop holding it for so long.

 

 

we just recently conquered this w/my ds, 3.5

 

When I knew he had to go and could tell he was holding it, I put him in the bathtub. He would dump his drawers all the time, but pooping in the tub totally grossed him out.

 

I think the warm water relaxed him enough to finally go.

 

He would sit in the water for 5 minutes and then be yelling for the potty.

 

Just last week he started being able to poop without having to sit in the bathtub first.

 

But he pooped in his drawers for 5 months before I figured this out.

[ktgrok]

That sounds about right for a kid that is that old. My son was trained by two, so yes, he needed reminders, but he was also young enough that we didn't get in to the resistance thing. That's why I like early potty training when possible, before they are 3 and want to fight you on EVERYTHING. At 18 months they still like pleasing mom, lol. But yes, at that point you have already taught them everything, they just need to decide to do it, and making it positive and giving them the power back sounds exactly like what a 3 year old would need. Younger kids, I would do differently.

[ChristusG]

My daughter turned 4 at the beginning of March and is still not potty trained. She did well at peeing in the potty for a while and she still CAN do well if she really tries. Peeing is not my main issue though. After using undies for a while, I finally put her back into pull ups because I was so tired of cleaning out 4 pair of poopy underwear per day. It's just gross.

 

When I put her back into pull ups, she regressed on the peeing and began peeing in her pull up most of the time. Again, I'm not worried about the peeing because I know that she CAN do it. I'm frustrated with the pooping. She absolutely WILL NOT go to the potty or tell us when she has to poop. She hides and does it in her pants. Most of the time this is when she's playing in the playroom and we're not aware that she's doing it. And she doesn't mind sitting in it either.

 

A few weeks ago she got a really bad rash because she pooped and did not tell us for a while. She cried and cried because of this rash and I explained to her that she got it because she pooped in her underwear and then sat in it for a while. I thought that may be a turning point for her.....but it wasn't. :glare:

 

I'm not really sure what to do anymore. I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy and the thought of washing poopy underwear again and again makes me want to hurl.

 

I've tried incentives. I told her we could go to the toy store and choose ANYTHING that she wanted. She's stubborn....she told me she doesn't want anything. :001_huh:

 

ANY advice would be appreciated. I've tried "ignoring" the whole thing for the past month. She doesn't care. I have her change her pee pee pull ups and then I help her with the poop ones.

 

UGH. This has to end soon.

[tabrizia]

The only way my just turned 4 year old potty trained was deciding he was ready. We tried everything, bribes, putting him on the potty every 30 minutes, no punishment, but making him clean up his mess, etc. I finally just gave up put him back in diapers and figured he would go when he was ready. He decided he was ready at 3 3/4th. Had maybe half a dozen accidents in the following month after he decided he was ready and hasn't had one since.

 

 

He just wasn't interested before, he knew what to do, he knew how to do it, he just didn't want to do it. Cloth didn't help, of course we used cloth diapers so I wasn't expecting them too, but he didn't care about being wet or sitting in his poop. He just had to decide it was time and go.

 

If he has SPD, he maybe having other issues, but I would bring it up with a developmental psych, not with my pediatrician who probably doesn't have much knowledge about SPDs and issues pertaining to them.

 

Either way we found it easiest with just not engaging. I refuse to potty train DD or DS2 either, I figure when they are ready they'll let me know, otherwise, they'll be in diapers and I won't be getting into a power struggle over it.

[TexasRachel]

What finally worked for ds was using a timer. I set it for 15 minutes, 30 minutes, then an hour until he was finally going on his own. It took a few days but he finally got so tired of me interrupting his play he started using the potty.

[Impish]

Stubbornness is an inherited family trait.

 

And my kids got a double whammy, from both their Daddy and I.

 

With all of my children, I had to wait until they wanted to. That was at varied ages, but 3 was the latest. It was mentioned, etc, but not until the kid was interested did it fly. And woe betide ANYONE that tried to *challenge* the issue. I swear to this day that my MIL delayed Tazzie training a good 6 mths b/c she went into a freakin meltdown during a visit, how he's a big boy should have been trained, etc, etc, etc. He was barely 2. Her verbally trying to shame/force the issue had an impact.

 

And yes, we should have stepped in immediately, but we were both in shock, our mouths literally hanging open...it took a few to recover the power of speech. And then caught her hissing at him at different times later. :glare:

[mo2]

I swear to this day that my MIL delayed Tazzie training a good 6 mths b/c she went into a freakin meltdown during a visit, how he's a big boy should have been trained, etc, etc, etc. He was barely 2. Her verbally trying to shame/force the issue had an impact.

 

And yes, we should have stepped in immediately, but we were both in shock, our mouths literally hanging open...it took a few to recover the power of speech. And then caught her hissing at him at different times later. :glare:

 

 

 

I don't know how many of my relatives I have heard making snide remarks to my son about still being in diapers! "Aren't you too big to be wearing diapers?" "What are you doing in a diaper?!" "Don't you know diapers are for babies?" "Shouldn't you be using the potty by now?" Curse them. Curse them all. :glare: