Jump to content

Menu

Univ. son having trouble sleeping


Recommended Posts

Kind of odd, I know, since University dorms aren't exactly quiet! :001_smile:

 

However, he's always been one to need quiet to be able to sleep, and has had problems all year. There are two other boys in his room that are fairly noisy and stay up really late. This is a private Christian college, with no alcohol allowed, so it's not crazy partying, it's just 2 noisy guys.

 

DS has talked with them and they all agreed to be quieter for each other... not hap'nin'.

DS talked with the Dean who said he'd talk to them, but hasn't yet.

They also can't switch him to a different room for some reason.

He has earplugs, but they bother his ears if he wears them every night.

He has a white noise thing, but the earplugs bother his ears with that too, and they turn the electicity off at night (he's in a Univ. in Mexico). Without electricity the white noise machine doesn't work, and he doesn't have enough battery power to run it overnight.

 

He's having troubles concentrating, and I just know what can be done! He really likes it there other than that!

 

I thought I'd throw this out there on the chance someone might have some idea we haven't thought of???!!!

 

Anyone have any words of wisdom or ideas to try?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I guess he'll just have to find some earplugs that don't bug his ears. Has he tried the foam kind? He can use wax like you get for swimming--it's soft and pliable. He could use an ipod-type player and just play white noise--

 

I think he'll just have to (excuse the expression) suck it up.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Move off campus into a private apartment or request a private dorm room. Sometimes RA's can get private rooms. Definately next year have new roomies.
Thank you for these ideas!

 

I happen to be talking with him on Messenger right now. :001_smile: He said the school has a rule that you have to be 24 to be able to live off-campus! :confused: And, he said there aren't enough rooms in the dorm for anyone to be able to have a private room. :glare:

 

I think you're absolutely right---DEFINITELY new roomates next year!!!

:iagree:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Well, I guess he'll just have to find some earplugs that don't bug his ears. Has he tried the foam kind? He can use wax like you get for swimming--it's soft and pliable. He could use an ipod-type player and just play white noise--

 

I think he'll just have to (excuse the expression) suck it up.

 

There was a point where I would have said the same thing, but that lack of sleep can really do a number on the human mind and body.

 

Brindee, talk with your pediatrician or doctor and see if there are other options. He will probably be fine following Chris's advice, but some can do that better than others with minimal sleep. For some young people, that lack of sleep will really affect their grades and possibly their emotional health.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Assuming he's in a loft or bunk bed, can you hang up heavy fabric curtains all around his bed to block some of the sound? That and a bunch of pillows might help absorb some of the noise.. build a nice cozy little cave for him. I would also run a loud fan or white noise machine without ear plugs -- the roomies can just deal with the noise. (and maybe it will encourage them to shut up!)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

My noise intolerant son wears sound canceling ear muffs when he goes to swim meets. I don't know what they are called but they sell them at the lumber yard, and people wear them when they operate jack hammers or loud equipment. They are inexpensive but would only work if he sleeps on his back. Or sound canceling headphones would allow him to listen to something soothing, but the really good ones are very expensive. I am a light sleeper and it can be miserable. Hope you find the answer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Honestly?

 

I'd start looking at another uni.

 

I have been a light sleeper my entire life. It has nothing to do with being difficult or acclimating.

 

If he can't live off campus (which I would never tolerate a uni dictating anyways) or get a private dorm room (which I bet is insanely priced anyways) and the lack of rest is starting to affect his grades - well I would switch to a uni that meets his needs if possible. Or jump thru whatever hoops needed to get an exception. I sure wouldn't suggest taking legal drugs of various kinds for the next four years to help him endure the noise of roommates.

 

I doubt switching roommates is going to help. Roommates make noise. That's just the way it is. I bet they aren't even being particuliarly loud are they? Just being awake, keyboarding, chatting, snacking, moving about? Well that is pretty much what roommates do. And since it is their room too, they have every expectation to feel comfortable doing so.

 

How long has he been there? I'd give it a semester or so to see if he can acclimate to it. But if not, I would look at alternatives to the situation.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

DD19 had this same problem at her school (also a private Christian school!) with just one roommate. I feel your pain knowing what she went through. It was affecting everything - studies, concentration, and her mood. She loves her school but was miserable.

 

You can request single rooms, but know they do cost more. In our case it was $700 per semester more, but thankfully worth it for her and it was available.

 

I would call housing myself. DD19 was listening to everyone else and not all of the information was correct. I called and asked what our options were and they were very nice. I went over them with dd and then we made the decision that was best for her.

 

I like letting her handle more decisions, and learn to do so, but when they are affecting so much of her life, sometimes momma needs to step in.;)

 

:grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This is the main reason dd needs a single room. She suffers from insomnia and sleep problems. SHe needs a totally dark room and fan noise, if she is having problems. At home, her room is totally dark (she taped black material to the windows), all electronics are covered, and her fan is on.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Thank you everyone for your constructive ideas and suggestions! I really appreciate those who understand his problem and where he's coming from!

 

It's hard communicating, since he's in Mexico, and getting through to talk with the right person is a royal pain!!! :glare: But, obviously, we have to do something! He loves it there and wants to be there, and there is no other Christian University nearby, so we are TRYING to work with where he's at.

 

I think we will try to see if he can get his own room for an extra cost. He said there aren't any available, but I'd like to check that that's for sure true. If he can't get his own room, we'll work on the headphones/white noise stuff some more.

 

Thank you again!

 

Well, I guess he'll just have to find some earplugs that don't bug his ears. Has he tried the foam kind? He can use wax like you get for swimming--it's soft and pliable. He could use an ipod-type player and just play white noise--

 

I think he'll just have to (excuse the expression) suck it up.

:confused: Ummm, he's been there since mid-August and HAS sucked it up as much as he can. As I said before, he loves it there! This only came out because we asked how things are going....he's NOT a complainer! :glare: I'm trying to find a plausible solution to make it easier for him to concentrate, stay healthy and do well in his school work.

 

Obviously you've not had, or known anyone else who had, sensitivity or sleep problems?:001_huh: It is a real problem, he's not being whiny! He's always had sensitivity issues, especially with noise and bright light, and we work with him where he's at. I think it's great that he's made it this far with the foam earplugs and a white noise thing (I think it's through his computer)! Though, with the electricity off at night it uses up all the battery.

 

Thank you for the ear wax idea, we'll look into that.

Edited by Brindee
Link to comment
Share on other sites

:grouphug: I sure can sympathize. DS is having the same type of problem, except his roommate is not a late night owl...

 

Instead, darling roommate has a perverted relationship with his alarm clock. He hits snooze every morning for more than two hours starting at 5am. I wanted to get him a clocky, but it's a little pricey.

 

Fortunately ds's twin is in married housing, and he can catch up in their spare bedroom once in awhile. Next year, he'll be able to room with another son who plans to go there and who does understand how to use an alarm clock properly.

 

I think the suggestion of trying different types of ear plugs is worth a shot. Ear plugs have helped my ds a lot. Some are a lot more comfortable than others. My high schoolers who are still homeschooling use them all the time, too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Is there any way he can incorporate an afternoon nap into his schedule? If his school follows the traditional Mexican type of schedule, there should be a siesta break he could take advantage of. I'd think the dorm would be more likely to be quiet so he could get some good sleep in then, too.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Try different pillows. Some are more sound canceling than others. You can try them out at home and then send the best down to him. Send him two, one for the top and one for the bottom. A memory foam pillow may work best. If this is the case, he may be able to cut one into a piece to cover just part of his head and not all of it.

 

Ear muffs for the gun range are what we use for dd4 who is sound sensitive, but shop carefullly. Some are designed to allow some sounds come through, like talking (for safety on the range), but block out the sharp noise of gun fire, and some do not.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

There was a point where I would have said the same thing, but that lack of sleep can really do a number on the human mind and body.
Thank you! :001_smile:

 

Brindee, talk with your pediatrician or doctor and see if there are other options. He will probably be fine following Chris's advice, but some can do that better than others with minimal sleep. For some young people, that lack of sleep will really affect their grades and possibly their emotional health.
Good idea. I'll need to do this. Exactly! He's doing okay, but is tired all the time, and it doesn't have to be that way, I'm sure! I would just like to do whatever is possible to raise the probability of him being able to sleep!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

so sorry he is having issues. I have sleep issues so I know just how hard it can be. One thing that always helped me was respectfully asking everyone to do a 1/2 hour of total silence when I first laid down. once I get to sleep I can stay a sleep its all the noise going on when I am trying to first fall asleep that really is bothersome. What are his roomates doing up late in the dark anyway :glare: that is bizzare to me, lights out go to bed!

 

Liquid valerian, added to any drink, might help him sleep....

or slip his roomates some j/k

Link to comment
Share on other sites

About the white noise machine and batteries--I'm surprised that he can run it overnight on battery power. We have one that we use in our campervan that can go for many nights (like a week or more) without needing the batteries changed.

 

As for earplugs, I always had trouble with them hurting my ears until I started using some called Spark Plugs. Here's a link: http://earplugstore.stores.yahoo.net/mosppluffopl.html

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Insomnia's the worst. After trying different supplements over the years, my favorite is melatonin, specifically from General Nutrition Center, the 1 mg sublingual (link below). Chew one and you feel really sleepy within a half hour. It might be enough to get him over the hump of falling asleep. I also like that it's only 1 mg instead of 3, like many others. I think because it's chewable it seems more effective that 3 mg pills too.

 

http://www.drugstore.com/gnc-melatonin-1-tablets-cherry/qxp45479

Link to comment
Share on other sites

so sorry he is having issues. I have sleep issues so I know just how hard it can be. One thing that always helped me was respectfully asking everyone to do a 1/2 hour of total silence when I first laid down. once I get to sleep I can stay a sleep its all the noise going on when I am trying to first fall asleep that really is bothersome. What are his roomates doing up late in the dark anyway :glare: that is bizzare to me, lights out go to bed!
Yeah, I can't figure that one out either! :001_huh: :confused:

 

 

or slip his roomates some j/k
:lol:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

About the white noise machine and batteries--I'm surprised that he can run it overnight on battery power. We have one that we use in our campervan that can go for many nights (like a week or more) without needing the batteries changed.

 

As for earplugs, I always had trouble with them hurting my ears until I started using some called Spark Plugs. Here's a link: http://earplugstore.stores.yahoo.net/mosppluffopl.html

Thank you for the link!

 

I'm sure there's something that can be done about that too! I'm not sure why he can't do that! I guess he hasn't found anything available in that area???

 

I DO need to get to the bottom of this. I'd prefer HE get to the bottom of this, but he's done all he could think of I guess. :tongue_smilie:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Insomnia's the worst. After trying different supplements over the years, my favorite is melatonin, specifically from General Nutrition Center, the 1 mg sublingual (link below). Chew one and you feel really sleepy within a half hour. It might be enough to get him over the hump of falling asleep. I also like that it's only 1 mg instead of 3, like many others. I think because it's chewable it seems more effective that 3 mg pills too.

 

http://www.drugstore.com/gnc-melatonin-1-tablets-cherry/qxp45479

Since that's not really a drug (is it?), he may be willing to try it. My dh and I were just talking about me possibly trying it!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

I really recommend listening to the audio from Jesse Wise on If I Could Do It Over Again. It's only $3.99.

 

http://www.welltrainedmind.com/store/if-i-could-do-it-over-again-mp3.html

 

She talks about her son and SWB's college days and it's quite the wake up.

 

It won't take long to listen.

 

Alley

Why? Is there something in there that has to do with this? I'm pretty happy with how our homeschooling has gone so far, so normally I wouldn't pay for that. If you give me an idea why I should listen to it, I could better make a decision!
Link to comment
Share on other sites

A BIG Thank you to everyone for your comments and suggestions! I am looking into many things and having ds check around there. Talking to the dean hasn't worked out as yet, but we'll see what we can figure out before next year!

 

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had similar problems when I was in college and was desperately tired for a while. This sounds funny, but eventually, I got one of those tents that goes on top of a twin bed and put it on my bed in my dorm room. It was solid red, so it didn't have any "kid" stuff on it, but it DID stand out. People always looked curiously at it when they passed and our door was open, but it was worth any amount of being gawked at to have a little spot of my own. I would go inside it and zip up the door and either put on headphones or watch my little tv and finally feel like I could relax. (This was before laptops and e-readers, or those would have been there too, I'm sure. lol) When I got ready to go to sleep, it was much easier. It didn't block all the noise, and sometimes I did still wear little foamy earplugs, but it gave me a little "retreat" from the activity that was always going on around me and the light and noise that otherwise I could not control. Maybe you could find him something like that? It might not be the BEST solution, but maybe it would be enough to get him by for the rest of the year.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have had problems sleeping and finally found these sleepphone headphones that are really comfy to wear while sleeping, then I plug them into my MP3 player and listen to audio books all night (watching QVC and the drone of their voices also sends me to sleep). The speakers in them are completely flat so you don't notice them and can lay on them. He could play white noise/waves/music whatever. But the constant gentle drone of audio books work for me. I cant sleep if I hear any noise like people moving, breathing, my fish tank filter or next doors broken cat scarer that sounds like death watch beetle through our double glazing (they've turned it off now). I think because I choose the audio book its different and it makes me focus and drop off.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brindee, I apologize for seeming to trivialize his sleep problem. I didn't mean to--

I know it's horrible to not be able to sleep.

What I meant was, he may need to live with the discomfort of ear plugs.

There are lots of different kinds, made of different materials. If he's latex-sensitive, he'll get itchy/irritated ears from those kind, but there are silicon types and other kinds (and the wax, as mentioned).

 

I'm sorry.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had similar problems when I was in college and was desperately tired for a while. This sounds funny, but eventually, I got one of those tents that goes on top of a twin bed and put it on my bed in my dorm room. It was solid red, so it didn't have any "kid" stuff on it, but it DID stand out. People always looked curiously at it when they passed and our door was open, but it was worth any amount of being gawked at to have a little spot of my own. I would go inside it and zip up the door and either put on headphones or watch my little tv and finally feel like I could relax. (This was before laptops and e-readers, or those would have been there too, I'm sure. lol) When I got ready to go to sleep, it was much easier. It didn't block all the noise, and sometimes I did still wear little foamy earplugs, but it gave me a little "retreat" from the activity that was always going on around me and the light and noise that otherwise I could not control. Maybe you could find him something like that? It might not be the BEST solution, but maybe it would be enough to get him by for the rest of the year.
That's a good idea too---draping him in somehow to make a man-cave! :D Definitely in my suggestions for him, thank you!

 

I have had problems sleeping and finally found these sleepphone headphones that are really comfy to wear while sleeping, then I plug them into my MP3 player and listen to audio books all night (watching QVC and the drone of their voices also sends me to sleep). The speakers in them are completely flat so you don't notice them and can lay on them. He could play white noise/waves/music whatever. But the constant gentle drone of audio books work for me. I cant sleep if I hear any noise like people moving, breathing, my fish tank filter or next doors broken cat scarer that sounds like death watch beetle through our double glazing (they've turned it off now). I think because I choose the audio book its different and it makes me focus and drop off.
I love this!!! I'm going to show this to my dh when he gets home and see if we can ship one to ds! Thank you so much!!!

 

Brindee, I apologize for seeming to trivialize his sleep problem. I didn't mean to--

I know it's horrible to not be able to sleep.

What I meant was, he may need to live with the discomfort of ear plugs.

There are lots of different kinds, made of different materials. If he's latex-sensitive, he'll get itchy/irritated ears from those kind, but there are silicon types and other kinds (and the wax, as mentioned).

 

I'm sorry.

:001_smile: It's okay. He's tried a few different types of ear plugs, and the foam ones work best. It's just that after wearing them every single night for a few nights, his ears get tender. It's my fault, I do that too! :(

 

I do think the wax kind is a good idea to try, I don't think that would be as prone to irritability.

 

Thank you! :grouphug:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 5 weeks later...

Brindee, how is your son doing? I thought of his sleeping problem when I was at a girls' weekend at a cabin recently and my roomie was a snorer. We had each brought fans for white noise but I could still hear her loud and clear. I put in my earbuds and a self-hypnosis mp3 and the sleeping bag over my head, and slept like a baby. It was so great that I've started doing the same at home (instead of shoving my husband when he starts snoring!). The only key is that the room has to be very cool in order for it to be comfortable to have the covers over my head. Seriously, I have never slept so well!!

 

I hope your son has found a solution to his sleep issues as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

FTI--wearing ear plugs when one is sensitive to sound actually can increase the sensitivity. I have Meniere's Syndrome and one of the things people on the forums always say is don't wear ear plugs at night because it will make the sensitivity to noise much worse.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Brindee, how is your son doing? I thought of his sleeping problem when I was at a girls' weekend at a cabin recently and my roomie was a snorer. We had each brought fans for white noise but I could still hear her loud and clear. I put in my earbuds and a self-hypnosis mp3 and the sleeping bag over my head, and slept like a baby. It was so great that I've started doing the same at home (instead of shoving my husband when he starts snoring!). The only key is that the room has to be very cool in order for it to be comfortable to have the covers over my head. Seriously, I have never slept so well!!

 

I hope your son has found a solution to his sleep issues as well.

Thank you for asking! He's doing better. We haven't been able to get those earphones to him, since he's out of country, so we're just going to order them and have them sent here and he'll take them back with him.

 

He kind of does the "man-cave" thing. The white noise helps some too. Now that we know this stuff we'll send him off better prepared for school next year! :001_smile:

 

I'm glad you found a way to get some good sleep! My husband doesn't snore much, but when he does, I shove him to his side too! :001_smile: I still need to find something for me. I'd get claustrophobic pulling the blankets over my head! :tongue_smilie: I think I'm going to order one of those earphone things for me too!

 

FTI--wearing ear plugs when one is sensitive to sound actually can increase the sensitivity. I have Meniere's Syndrome and one of the things people on the forums always say is don't wear ear plugs at night because it will make the sensitivity to noise much worse.
:blink: That's good to know, thank you!

 

What do YOU do for noise at night? Now I need to go look up Meniere's Syndrome! :001_smile:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What do YOU do for noise at night? Now I need to go look up Meniere's Syndrome! :001_smile:

 

You also might want to look up hyperacusis and see if that rings a bell.

 

I thankfully have a mild form but fatigue increases symptoms, so I really have to watch my sleep. If it's really critical --like when I'm very tired or symptoms are starting to flare up--I take Melatonin 30 minutes before bed. It helps get to sleep, but not to stay asleep. I also try and get to bed at my optimum time as I find I'm less likely to be bothered by noise if I'm well rested.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

You also might want to look up hyperacusis and see if that rings a bell.

 

I thankfully have a mild form but fatigue increases symptoms, so I really have to watch my sleep. If it's really critical --like when I'm very tired or symptoms are starting to flare up--I take Melatonin 30 minutes before bed. It helps get to sleep, but not to stay asleep. I also try and get to bed at my optimum time as I find I'm less likely to be bothered by noise if I'm well rested.

I did look it up. It sounds scary! I'm glad you have a mild form! I'll look up hyperacusis too.

 

I have ringing in my ears constantly, which some tell me could be tinnitus. I don't know, but I've never had vertigo, and hope never to have it!

 

You know, a friend of mine takes melatonin and it really seems to help her. Doesn't do a thing for me though. :tongue_smilie:

 

The getting to bed at optimum time is soo important, yet sooo hard! My ds stays up late, so I'm sure that's one of his big problems! :glare:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...