Jean in Newcastle Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 My ds13 is starting to have a noticeable mustache. He's had dark peach fuzz since he was 8, but now it is starting to be more than just fuzz. People are starting to comment on it and to pressure him to shave. Their adamant opinions that since it's a noticeable mustache that he has to shave surprises me. Is there any reason that he needs to shave it if he doesn't want to? They seem to think that he's too young to have a mustache. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parias1126 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Does it seem to bother him? My son is 6 and already has some dark hair on his lip. If it is affecting him with regard to self esteem and he wants to shave then I don't see why it would hurt. My DD17 had very hairy legs and I let her shave at 10 because kids are sometimes just MEAN! :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 The mustache doesn't bother him. The peer pressure is starting to bother him, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
parias1126 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 The mustache doesn't bother him. The peer pressure is starting to bother him, I think. Peer pressure is what usually hurts their self esteem (at least for my DD when she was younger). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Evergreen State Sue Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I was wondering if my ds15 should shave. He's starting to get more hair above his lip, but he also has some pimples there. How do they manage to shave around those? I was also wondering if there was some school rule even as homeschoolers that you should wait to shave until later. Or does shaving make it come in better? My dh said he started shaving in the 8th grade, but in PS I think you had to be clean shaven. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RoughCollie Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I'd leave it up to him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hoggirl Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laurie4b Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 He'll need to balance out what he naturally wants with how many of these comments he wants to field. If it looks kind of scraggly, I'd lean toward shaving it for a while, but I would let it be his decision. Just help him think through the pros and cons. If he wants to keep it, help him think through a canned comeback. It might be a different one for adults versus kids. There is probably a kid version of "pass the bean dip" you can come up with. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 There is no "reason" to shave it if you see no reason. For me, I like when boys shave when they start to get that shadow-y, not quite a mustache look on their upper lip. There is a no facial hair rule at my son's HS, so there is no issue in our house. If one of the teachers or staff thinks a boy should shave, he shaves right then. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mejane Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) Yup. Fwiw, my son doesn't shave, but buzzes his fuzz with one of those eyebrow groomers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 There is a no facial hair rule at my son's HS, so there is no issue in our house. If one of the teachers or staff thinks a boy should shave, he shaves right then. :lol: Wow. :o I find that really creepy and intrusive. :001_huh: Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mom4him Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) :iagree:I would provide him with the means to shave if he so desires but I would also be sure he understands that it is HIS choice and he is handsome either way. The mustache or not is not what defines him, who he is inside does. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 My ds 13 has that too. I am in no rush for him to shave. Between wanting to sleep in late, being always hungry, and not being a morning person I have a hard enough time getting my son to start school on time. Shaving would only add one more thing to list. ...So I tell myself. I think in reality I'm not quite ready to see another razor in the bathroom. He's in no hurry to shave either. Dh always grows a beard for winter, so maybe come spring. I'd let it be his say and maybe some encouraging words from dad to ward off the peer pressure. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Danestress Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 In my home, I would say that it's his face and he can wear it how he wants, but must accept the reality that most people find a young man's emerging mustache quite unattractive. As it is, I tell my sons to shave and they so so willingly. If they every got resistant, though, I would let them do as they please. In the same way, I would allow my son to wear a unicorn sweater but would want him to be prepared that many people will believe it's a "girl" sweater and will find it very effeminate. Or I would allow him to wear a studded leather collar even though many will associate that with trying to be a punk star and some parents might start to not want their kids to hang out with him. I think I am okay with my kids making choices that others find strange as long as they then don't get all upset about the comments. I think this is hard for a Mom, though, because we DON'T make the choice but do hear all the remarks. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 There is a no facial hair rule at my son's HS, so there is no issue in our house. If one of the teachers or staff thinks a boy should shave, he shaves right then. :lol: I could see that. My son attends a private school and I've never looked to see what the rule would be. Possibly the same. I don't find it intrusive, because private school can be a bit like the military. They do get to set the rules. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 :iagree: If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) Wow. :o I find that really creepy and intrusive. :001_huh: Tara I find it to be part of the appearance/dress code. :tongue_smilie: If they don't have a belt, they are given one. Same as a tie. Plus lunch detention. Every one knows the gig going into the school. ETA: I am told that many times the boys claim they shaved in the morning but by afternoon, they are out of appearance code. Don't the Yankees have a no facial hair rule? Edited January 11, 2011 by unsinkable Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julie in CA Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 My guys have to shave as it comes in, and if that's 13 years old, then it's 13 years old. For a variety of reasons, dh and I don't really want our guys looking older and more mature than they really are, and just as a matter of personal preference, we're going with clean-shaven for our teens. One thing that swayed us this way was that when the whiskers first started growing in, they were somewhat sparse and scraggly looking. Imo, it usually takes a bit of time for them to come in with enough regularity and density to actually look good, so we have them shave until then. After that, it's kind of their choice, although they are mindful of the fact that within our circle of friends, it's not popular to have facial hair, so they've chosen not to. Then again, though I realize some folks disagree about this, we do care about other people's impressions and inferences about our character with regard to our appearance, and believe that it's easier to live out our faith when our appearance doesn't offend those we meet, especially the older population in our area. We don't allow tattoos or piercings either. They can make those choices later on when they're completely responsible for their own lives, though none of them has ever expressed a desire to distinguish themselves in that way. I remember that when first ds was 13 or so, every time I looked at him I thought he needed to go wash his face. Took me a little while to realize that it was actually because of scruffy whiskers, and not pre-teen boy lack of hygiene! :lol: With all of that said, even though we've made that choice for *our* young men, you should feel free to do whatever is right for your family and your son without hesitation. **I'd never ever show disapproval for someone else's choice in that department.** :001_smile: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I just told DH about this thread. He said that long before he had hair on this upper lip, he had "goat hairs" sprouting out of his chin!!! :lol: He said he'd go to bed at night with nothing and wake up to hairs long enough to grab! he made it sound like TeenWolf. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 he made it sound like TeenWolf. Oh my! TeenWolf! It must be an allegory for all the changes teen boys go through LOL! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Puma Mom Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I don't think it's anyone else's business whether he shaves or not. If it's an issue for you and dh, that's another story. Ds20 has never shaved. He's an aspie and figures it's not something he wants to have to start doing, and it's not something we've cared to push him on. He does have me buzz along his sideburns and below when I cut his hair, but that's about it. He's a CS major and I see more scruffiness in that field, so maybe he'll be okay for work too. He says he'll shave if he has to though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I find it to be part of the appearance/dress code. :tongue_smilie: Yeah, I get that. My dd's school has a dress code, too. However, the idea that my kid would take a razor to his face just because some teacher at school looked at him and said he had to makes me uncomfortable. Like you said, a kid could shave in the morning and look scraggy by afternoon. My son is 8 and already has visible hair on his upper lip. He's from another country, and I don't know whether it's common or not for his ethnic group. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ellie Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Yes. If people are noticing and commenting, then it's time for him to learn that good hygeine for men includes shaving. It doesn't matter how old he is. I think the current fad of men walking around with at least a day's worth of scruffy beard (Dr. House, for example) is just gauche. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mryann Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I just told DH about this thread. He said that long before he had hair on this upper lip, he had "goat hairs" sprouting out of his chin!!! :lol: He said he'd go to bed at night with nothing and wake up to hairs long enough to grab! he made it sound like TeenWolf. This has been my son's facial hair experience. He kind of enjoyed the comments at first because the other boys wished they had facial hair. Then wild hairs started sprouting on the jaw, chin and sometimes neck. He began shaving. Shaving seemed to improved the pimple situation as well. Boys' facial hair is seems easier than deciding whether or not girls should shave their legs and when. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Yeah, I get that. My dd's school has a dress code, too. However, the idea that my kid would take a razor to his face just because some teacher at school looked at him and said he had to makes me uncomfortable. Like you said, a kid could shave in the morning and look scraggy by afternoon. My son is 8 and already has visible hair on his upper lip. He's from another country, and I don't know whether it's common or not for his ethnic group. Tara Well, I suppose the teacher could let it go...but then what is the point of a dress/appearance code? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 (edited) good hygeine for men includes shaving. I guess my dh is unhygienic, because he sports a rockin' full beard! I think he looks awesome! Tara Ps. He does shave his head!! Edited January 11, 2011 by TaraTheLiberator Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I guess my dh is unhygienic, because he sports a rockin' full beard! I think he looks awesome! Tara I like his cap! He looks good w/beard, too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Well, I suppose the teacher could let it go...but then what is the point of a dress/appearance code? Well there's a dress code, and then there is legalism. If you shave in the morning but have raging hormones that cause you to sprout wild facial hair by the afternoon, you kinda gotta go with that. Are they going to make kids shave twice a day? Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I like his cap! Thanks, he loves it too! I tell him his head is on upside down: hair on the bottom, not on the top! ;) Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I guess my dh is unhygienic, because he sports a rockin' full beard! I think he looks awesome! Tara Ps. He does shave his head!! He looks good like that! My husband shaves his head and has a goatee. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Well there's a dress code, and then there is legalism. If you shave in the morning but have raging hormones that cause you to sprout wild facial hair by the afternoon, you kinda gotta go with that. Are they going to make kids shave twice a day? Tara I knew a guy in the military that had to take his shaver to work. He had more than a 5 o'clock shadow by 1pm and could have a beard by the next morning. Poor guy had to shave before and at work to keep from getting into trouble. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Well there's a dress code, and then there is legalism. If you shave in the morning but have raging hormones that cause you to sprout wild facial hair by the afternoon, you kinda gotta go with that. Are they going to make kids shave twice a day?Tara The school says yes...espcially if they are going somewhere after school for an activity or athletic event as students of the school. I don't see it as much different as keeping their ties on or their shirts tucked in. Every boy is different...there are the "TeenWolf" boys and there are the boys who won't be able to grow facial hair til college. I guess it is the roll of the dice. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NanceXToo Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 If he's old enough to grow it, then he's old enough to choose whether or not to keep it ;) :iagree: all I care about is hygiene. As ling as it isn't shaggy.p, dirty and unkept - I don't care. I guess my dh is unhygienic, because he sports a rockin' full beard! I think he looks awesome! Tara Ps. He does shave his head!! O.M.G. Change the glasses and that could be my dh! Same beard, haircuts, and hat! Hair is a bit lighter tho. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SailorMom Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I agree he is old enough to ddecide. My 14 yo son was getting scraggly all over - 8th grade.... but it was getting long, patchy, uneven. We tried just trimming with scissors, but finally we bought him an electric razor. Worked great. He only has to use it about once a month-ish to stay looking normal :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Thanks, he loves it too! I tell him his head is on upside down: hair on the bottom, not on the top! ;) Tara I have a friend like that. He recently took a job where he had to shave his facial hair. It took a while to get used to, he was feeling kind of nekkid with no hair on his face or head. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I agree he is old enough to ddecide.My 14 yo son was getting scraggly all over - 8th grade.... but it was getting long, patchy, uneven. We tried just trimming with scissors, but finally we bought him an electric razor. Worked great. He only has to use it about once a month-ish to stay looking normal :) I was very surprised to learn that if my DS shaved once, it didn't mean that it would all grown back right away! I really had no idea how facial hair "worked" with boys. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 It is time to teach the young gentleman how to shave. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
stripe Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I guess my dh is unhygienic, because he sports a rockin' full beard! I agree. One can be dirty with or without a beard. They are two separate things. Just as not all women with long hair are dirty. Are hairy 6 year olds expected to shave? What about girls with moustaches? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 He recently took a job where he had to shave his facial hair. Every once in a while my husband gets some wild hair up his ... anyway, he shaves about once a year. I *hate* it. He looks like a little kid and it makes me feel kinda dirty. ;) He's finally decided not to shave anymore and let the beard get a little ZZ Top-ish. Luckily he works in an industry where that (and visible tattoos) are not unexpected. (And yes, he has a professional, white-collar job.) I'm still working on getting him to get hoops in his ears. :D And yes, I realize that quite a few WTM-ers are now gasping in horror about how unprofessional and irresponsible and what a bad influence my dh is. ;) Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Are hairy 6 year olds expected to shave? Oh, honey! You must have missed that thread a while back!! :D Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I told my dh about this thread, and he didn't like the pic I posted. He said the beard looks way better now, and he took a pic and emailed it to me. Here's dh about five minutes ago, at work. Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
unsinkable Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I told my dh about this thread, and he didn't like the pic I posted. He said the beard looks way better now, and he took a pic and emailed it to me. Here's dh about five minutes ago, at work. Tara what, no well-trained trout pout? :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 We tried just trimming with scissors, but finally we bought him an electric razor. Electric razor?! Horror of horrors :D The young man should learn to put a proper blade to his face and learn the gentlemanly art of shaving. Shaving with a good double-edge safety razor should be part of a young man's classical education. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Haiku Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 what, no well-trained trout pout? :lol: No, that would be my 16 year old. :ack2: I posted in another thread about how all pics she posts to FB must now be approved by BOTH mom and dad due to her insistence on continuing to post duck-lips pics. I removed them all. *gag* Tara Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted January 11, 2011 Author Share Posted January 11, 2011 Boy, this thread has exploded! That will teach me to go to bed. . .:D I have referred all facial hair decisions and "how to's" to dh. He thinks that he'll look better if he shaves. I don't want to be responsible for a razor on my "baby's" face! The electric razor or eyebrow trimmer ideas sound good. I'll ask dh about them. However, my dh is one of those men who gets a very definite 5 o'clock shadow. I have a feeling that ds is going to be following in his genetic footsteps. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ereks mom Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 ...he had the beginnings of a beard. It was growing in the cheek/jaw area, and was only a small tuft of 1"-2" long, dark hairs on each side. He was self-conscious about it, so we bought him a razor and he started shaving. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spy Car Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 I have referred all facial hair decisions and "how to's" to dh. He thinks that he'll look better if he shaves. I don't want to be responsible for a razor on my "baby's" face! Good idea. Where possible this should be the "mens department." Fathers ought to teach sons about manly ways (if at all possible). The electric razor or eyebrow trimmer ideas sound good. No it doesn't. A boy ought to learn to wet-shave with a razor. It is a rite-of-passage into manhood. Bill Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mommaduck Posted January 11, 2011 Share Posted January 11, 2011 Good idea. Where possible this should be the "mens department." Fathers ought to teach sons about manly ways (if at all possible). No it doesn't. A boy ought to learn to wet-shave with a razor. It is a rite-of-passage into manhood. Bill Some boys can't. I've known some that break out terribly from wet shaving (even though I prefer it as it's what my stepdad, brother, and husband all do). What I miss seeing is the shaving cream in the mug that you mix with a brush...and the razors that you insert in some old contraption of a razor. However, my husband HAS to have the five blades. The only blades that really work on him. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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