I failed homeschooling my Kindergartener...

[TrixieB]

No, you didn't "fail" your K'er. You are doing an awesome job! He loves to learn, and is learning at the pace that is right for him. Look at your siggie -- he is eager to start first grade!

 

Some people like to belittle others' efforts to make themselves feel better or more important. Maybe the person who told you that you "failed" your son is one of those people.

[JennyD]

What a ridiculous woman. Regardless of what you do about homeschooling, I'd cross that private school off your possibilities list.

[Barb_]

:svengo: First, it is not possible to fail Kindergarten. It. is. NOT. possible. The kid sitting in the corner of the first grade classroom picking his nose and staring out the window with his shoes untied who has never had a CVC lesson did not fail Kindergarten. There is something seriously wrong when the director of a school can make someone feel small because he's "only reading at a pre-K level," whatEVER that is supposed to be.

 

My son went to a Montessori preschool last year. He loved everything except the enforced daily writing. They taught him cursive (he calls them school letters) and while he didn't love the process and would have fought me every step of the way at home, it paid off and now he has beautiful penmanship. Does that mean everyone else's kids are behind because *this* school emphasizes early penmanship? Obviously not! He has better handwriting than my 8yo...does that mean I've failed her? Nope.

 

Allowing a child to read as early as he or she wishes is desirable and should be encouraged. However, forcing every child to read early is a recipe for burnout. I'm curious to know how many of her 4th graders read for pleasure?

 

Barb

[carolinagirl]

So many ladies here have already said it but I wanted to add my voice to the crowd. You certainly did not fail. Your son loves learning, you finished your material early, and he's reading cvc words! Sounds like he's reading to move on to first to me. :)

 

My last child was pulled out of public school halfway through first grade. We started over and he was only reading cvc words. He'd only reached that milestone with some afterschool work with me that we'd started a month before just giving up on public school. He reads beautifully and his comprehension is very high.

 

I have four boys and only one learned to read in K. The other three didn't get it until 1st.

 

Try to remember that homeschooling isn't just about academics. Having a love of learning? Priceless.

[....]

This may have been mentioned already, but have you read the book Boys Adrift? This really opened my eyes to several things about boys and elementary school.

 

Oh, and BTW, my 2 oldest kids went to the #2 school in our state and my son did not know his letter sounds (at the end of K), definitely could NOT read by any definition of the word and my daughter (who finished 1st gr there) had never had any math - whatsoever. I actually did 2 years of math with her this year to get her up to grade level. After a year of year-round tutoring, I finally got the critters up to grade level in reading and math.

 

I think some teachers get really defensive with homeschooling and throw out some bogus claims...

[6packofun]

Well said!! I agree. A child who loves to learn and is "behind" his institutionalized counterparts is probably AHEAD in my book and it will show in the coming years. Hang in there and keep encouraging him at his pace. :)

[tofuscramble]

That's so silly! Unfortunately, she wont be the only person like this that you'll encounter on your hs journey.

[Barry Goldwater]

Okay, I'm usually a lurker on these boards, but I've been coming here a long time and you guys give great advice and encouragement and I need some.

 

I officially started homeschooling my DS6(5 when we started) this year, for Kindergarten. We completed My Father's World Kindergarten program and he did great. We finished early (in March) because I had my fourth child. We took a break for a few months and in July I felt like the phonics wasn't enough in MFW so we started working through OPGTR and he is flying through it. So, I was feeling pretty good, until......

 

Today, we went to a local Children's Festival in the park and I was talking to a local Kindergarten teacher and founder of a private school. I had been interested in it before and I went to talk to them. Well, she basically told be (nicely) that my son was really behind and if I enrolled him, he would be put in the Kindergarten class again. That he was only reading at a PreK level and there was no way he'd go into a 1st grade class. :confused:

 

Now, I feel like I've let him down. Should he be in school? Do I keep homeschooling? Is he really "behind"?

 

Anyway, thanks for listening to me, if you've read this far.

 

 

NEVER TAKE ADVICE from people who stand to make money off THEIR ADVICE...if your DC enrolled at 1st grade, she loses out on a year of tuition.

 

You should have told her she failed charm school and salesmanship 101...I would stay the course and encourage you to carry on as is...the only "behind" was the lady you were talking to...

[Athome]

Read For the Children's Sake. It will encourage you and put your mind at ease. Your son is fine. You love him and want to see him succeed.

[Alphabetika]

I have many thoughts on this, but I have to get them together before I post them. One thing to say, though - your signature says that your ds can't wait for first grade to start. Can this woman's students say that?

 

'nuff said.

[Tree House Academy]

How ridiculous. My ds 6 is now reading beyond a 4th grade level. He is starting 2nd grade (will be 7 in Sept). When we had just finished K, he was struggling through the LLATL Blue level readers and was still sounding out almost every word. He went from that to reading above 4th grade level in just this one year. When it clicks, it clicks. Your child is NOT behind!

[Spy Car]

I highly doubt you have failed your child, and by home educating one can make up ground fast and work with a child's individual needs in a way that ids more difficult in school.

 

That said. My son attended a very good public school kindergarten this past year, and my the standards around here a child only reading CVC words with short vowels would not be ready for First Grade. That would be a pre-K reading level.

 

All the children in my son's class (even the "slow" students) were reading on a much more advance level than that.

 

This, to say it again, does not mean you have failed. But the standards at our school are the same outlined by the school founder you spoke with.

 

Bill

[Rosy]

I think it was incredibly unprofessional of her to handle her opinions about your DS's academic progress that way. It would be like if I, as a photographer, went into someone's office or home and said, "those pictures are poorly composed, if you hire me I'll do a much better job." At most, she should have invited you to bring him in for an evaluation at the school, or to come in and talk about your options.

[laundrycrisis]

Honestly, that would tell me all I needed to know about the school.

 

:iagree:

 

 

This type of thinking is exactly why I know homeschooling is what's best for my kids. They would probably both be considered "behind" by a school with these standards. However I much prefer they learn at their own natural pace and point of readiness for each new leap. My job is to make the information available, and present it in a way and set up a structure that creates an opportunity for them to learn it...but they have to be ready for the leap. As long as I have done my part of it, and they feel good about what they have accomplished, it's not "failure".

[beachmom]

Okay, I'm usually a lurker on these boards, but I've been coming here a long time and you guys give great advice and encouragement and I need some.

 

I officially started homeschooling my DS6(5 when we started) this year, for Kindergarten. We completed My Father's World Kindergarten program and he did great. We finished early (in March) because I had my fourth child. We took a break for a few months and in July I felt like the phonics wasn't enough in MFW so we started working through OPGTR and he is flying through it. So, I was feeling pretty good, until......

 

Today, we went to a local Children's Festival in the park and I was talking to a local Kindergarten teacher and founder of a private school. I had been interested in it before and I went to talk to them. Well, she basically told be (nicely) that my son was really behind and if I enrolled him, he would be put in the Kindergarten class again. That he was only reading at a PreK level and there was no way he'd go into a 1st grade class. :confused:

 

Now, I feel like I've let him down. Should he be in school? Do I keep homeschooling? Is he really "behind"?

 

Anyway, thanks for listening to me, if you've read this far.

 

What kind of school did this lady start? What's their educational philosophy?

[duckens]

You've said that this woman is a FOUNDER and teacher at the private school. That tells me that she is very good at teaching...but also at recruiting. (For example, if one owned a vet clinic, one must have more than a vet degree; one must manage staff, budgets, taxes/accounting, state regulations).

 

She has a very specific interest ($$$$) in implying you that you are failing your son.

 

If you son had been whizzing through chapter books, would she have made you feel bad because he wouldn't be in her school where his giftedness could be nurtured and encouraged, and he could be with peers of the same rank?

 

I agree with PP that since your son loves school and is making so much progress, you and he have both passed with flying colors. A+++++!!!

 

Oh, and yeah....you should have laughed her out of the park. We'll come and help you do that if this comes up again.

[Renee in NC]

I highly doubt you have failed your child, and by home educating one can make up ground fast and work with a child's individual needs in a way that ids more difficult in school.

 

That said. My son attended a very good public school kindergarten this past year, and my the standards around here a child only reading CVC words with short vowels would not be ready for First Grade. That would be a pre-K reading level.

 

All the children in my son's class (even the "slow" students) were reading on a much more advance level than that.

 

This, to say it again, does not mean you have failed. But the standards at our school are the same outlined by the school founder you spoke with.

 

Bill

 

Do they screen incoming K students for readiness? Or is it that your ds's K class just lucked out having no special needs students (and I don't mean "slow".)

 

My rising 1st grader can read pretty well (digraphs, blends, long vowels, etc.) My just finished 1st grader, OTOH, doesn't know his alphabet. Obviously he has special needs.

[FairProspects]

Do they screen incoming K students for readiness? Or is it that your ds's K class just lucked out having no special needs students (and I don't mean "slow".)

 

My rising 1st grader can read pretty well (digraphs, blends, long vowels, etc.) My just finished 1st grader, OTOH, doesn't know his alphabet. Obviously he has special needs.

 

At our school (which sounds very similar to Spy Car's) they do screen for K readiness. They have a week devoted to K assessments so teachers know where they need to do "remediation" and how to group/place students. I'm actually stressed about how ds will perform!

[Renee in NC]

At our school (which sounds very similar to Spy Car's) they do screen for K readiness. They have a week devoted to K assessments so teachers know where they need to do "remediation" and how to group/place students. I'm actually stressed about how ds will perform!

 

Do they group them in classes by ability? For example, do the ones reading CVC words go in one class, those who don't know their alphabet in another, etc.?

[Joyofsixreboot]

None of my kids who attended PS could read squat when starting first grade and they are all really good students. What in the name of all that's holy is the rush? I would ignore her. She's probably just being snooty about how 'advanced' her school is.

[Dobela]

Do they group them in classes by ability? For example, do the ones reading CVC words go in one class, those who don't know their alphabet in another, etc.?

I don't how how the pp's school does it but here they do the assment for a couple of reasons. First to get an idea of where each child is so the teacher has a good idea of where she needs to begin. They don't want to spend the first few days/weeks trying to learn what each child knows. Second, because the teachers are evaluated to some degree for the standardized test scores at the end of the year (stinks testing Kinders in my opinion), they want the classrooms to be 'fair', meaning that one teacher doesn't end up with all the advanced or gifted children while another has all the difficult/special/slow learners. Part of the theory is also that the children who are not as advanced as others in the beginning will learn by peer example as well.

[Spy Car]

Do they screen incoming K students for readiness?

 

No. The class included a number of children who had almost no pre-reading skills, although I'd say most of the kids had some pre-k CVC abilities (or better) coming in to school.

 

Or is it that your ds's K class just lucked out having no special needs students (and I don't mean "slow".)

 

There were a couple of children who had learning disabilities that were serious enough to qualify them to have have Teacher's-Aids assigned to the class-room, and several more that had learning liabilities but did not have Aids assigned. But the Teacher, Aids, and parent volunteers worked with all the children to give them a quality kindergarten experience. And all the children thrived.

 

This was a public school (albeit a relatively high preforming school) so there was no "selecting out" of children on academic (or any other) grounds. So the kids ran the gambit from highly intelligent to somewhat challenged. There were no students would (in my estimation) be called profoundly challenged, but as I said there were at least 5 children (out of 22) who had learning disabilities.

 

My rising 1st grader can read pretty well (digraphs, blends, long vowels, etc.) My just finished 1st grader, OTOH, doesn't know his alphabet. Obviously he has special needs.

 

It would not surpass me in the least if children with learning disabilities typically performed better with a dedicated parent-educator giving them one-on-one attention than they would in the typical public school.

 

On the other hand, I think people underestimate the richness of experience afforded by highly functioning schools (public or private). There will always be children who fall outside the "norm" in any number of ways who will do better at home than in a school. I don't doubt that for a moment.

 

But I also think many are kidding themselves about what kind of education is happening in highly functioning schools, assuming that "failing schools" are the standards against which they measure their progress, and may set themselves up for a crisis of low-expectations.

 

There is a fine line between encouraging a parent that she hasn't failed her kindergartner and enabling low expectations. Finishing kindergarten with a child who doesn't have learning disabilities only reading CVC words on the level of the first Bob Book series would not put the child on track to start First Grade at my son's school.

 

I don't see that the school founder should be excoriated for expressing that those are the standards at her school too.

 

That does not mean anyone has "failed." In my day we were not really taught to read until First Grade, and I'm a great reader. Many can (and do) debate the the costs and benefits of accelerating reading into kindergarten. But (for better, or worse) that is the state of education in functioning schools these days. And it is quite simply so that a child who wasn't reading beyond simple CVC words would not really be prepared for First Grade in many public and private schools.

 

Bill

 

 

 

Bi

[Stacy in NJ]

child to be reading early independent readers (Frog and Toad, Henry and Mudge type books) by the middle of 1st grade. That's what an "average" child should be doing. It sounds like your son is on the right track to meet that expectation.

 

Here's a link to a Frog and Toad book with a look inside option. http://www.amazon.com/Days-Frog-Toad-Read-Level/dp/0064440583/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1280679443&sr=8-2

 

A little piece of advice: you'll drive yourself and quite possible your ds and dh crazy if you get stressed out everytime someone tells you that your ds is "behind", so just don't listen. As long as your don't suspect a real learning disability, and you and ds are working consistently on academics, then STOP WORRYING.

 

Enjoy this time with your ds. A child only learns to read once, and this time can be a joyful one, or it can be stressful and unpleasant. Choose the former.

[Renee in NC]

I am amazed that they were able to get LD kids reading at that high of a level in 9 months!

 

If you google "Kindergarten Expectations" you can read all kinds of expectations broken down by quarter even. I prefer the Core Knowledge Sequence, which is now available online for free. CK expects all 26 letters, digraphs, some long vowel spellings, and the r-controlled vowels. The expectation is that they can read and spell simple words with these phonetic principles.

[kokotg]

 

That said. My son attended a very good public school kindergarten this past year, and my the standards around here a child only reading CVC words with short vowels would not be ready for First Grade. That would be a pre-K reading level.

 

 

 

Honestly, as big a buzz word as "differentiation" is these days, I'm really surprised that schools would have a kid who's struggling only with reading repeat kindergarten. Then what happens? The kid starts out the year bored with everything except reading and then, at some point during the year, the reading thing clicks, and now the kid is bored with everything AND already feels the stigma of having been held back a year. It sounds like something that would be done for the convenience of the teacher and/or to drive up test scores, not for the benefit of the child.

[Stacy in NJ]

There is a fine line between encouraging a parent that she hasn't failed her kindergartner and enabling low expectations. Finishing kindergarten with a child who doesn't have learning disabilities only reading CVC words on the level of the first Bob Book series would not put the child on track to start First Grade at my son's school.

Bill

 

 

 

Bi

 

I just wanted to strongly disagree with the assertion that a high performing public school standard for Kindergarten is to be reading on a higher level than cvc Bob Books.

 

I was the class mom for my ds's kindy class at our high performing school district in a suburb of NYC. There was no reading expectation for Kindy other than phonemic awareness, letter identification, and sound symbol association.

 

That's my experience.

[I talk to the trees]

 

Now, I feel like I've let him down. Should he be in school? Do I keep homeschooling? Is he really "behind"?

 

Anyway, thanks for listening to me, if you've read this far.

 

Ya' know what I think? I think that woman was probably having one of those days. As a founder of a private school, she's in direct competition with the PS system. She has to do anything she can to prove that the $$$ parents shell out for her school isn't wasted. (With the current state of the economy, that can't be an easy job!) And when she thought she could rope someone into believing that her school could do a better job than the parent, she jumped at the chance. It probably wasn't even intended as an insult. The school may just be desperate for recruits.

 

Listen to the wise mama bears on this board. You're doing a great job! (As the mom of an only, I have to say that I just shake my head in awe of moms with more. I think all of you deserve a big ol' round of applause!)

[Renee in NC]

I don't how how the pp's school does it but here they do the assment for a couple of reasons. First to get an idea of where each child is so the teacher has a good idea of where she needs to begin. They don't want to spend the first few days/weeks trying to learn what each child knows. Second, because the teachers are evaluated to some degree for the standardized test scores at the end of the year (stinks testing Kinders in my opinion), they want the classrooms to be 'fair', meaning that one teacher doesn't end up with all the advanced or gifted children while another has all the difficult/special/slow learners. Part of the theory is also that the children who are not as advanced as others in the beginning will learn by peer example as well.

 

Which states have standardized tests in K? The states I have been in don't start the testing until 3rd grade!

[Joyofsixreboot]

I find the differences between school expectations interesting. I live in a rural area with one school. There is no differentiaton within classrooms, no state testing before third grade and I don't believe being held back in k is even an option.

[Spy Car]

I just wanted to strongly disagree with the assertion that a high performing public school standard for Kindergarten is to be reading on a higher level than cvc Bob Books.

 

You can disagree, but I spent a good deal of time volunteering in the class this year (and my wife did a great deal more) and I'm quite aware of what was doing on in my son's school, which--it must be said--is a highly performing public school.

 

All the children were reading beyond CVC words of the first Bob Book series, even those with learning issues who started the year with no phonemic awareness. And at least half the children were reading Frog and Toad type books by mid-year of kindergarten. So we had different experiences.

 

Bill

[....]

Which states have standardized tests in K? The states I have been in don't start the testing until 3rd grade!

 

We did standardized testing in Missouri when my kids were in Kindergarten. They do the Naglieri - which is more like an intelligence test and not a "do you know your facts" test. I'm not sure why they do it.

[Stacy in NJ]

So we had different experiences.

 

Bill

 

Exactly. My point being your (or your local school's) standard isn't universal to high performing schools in the good ole US of A. And, I think that's useful information for the OP because she's measuring a standard.

 

ETA: I'll just add, what "high performing" actually means is relevant to the conversation.

Edited August 1, 2010 by Stacy in NJ
more

[Renee in NC]

You can disagree, but I spent a good deal of time volunteering in the class this year (and my wife did a great deal more) and I'm quite aware of what was doing on in my son's school, which--it must be said--is a highly performing public school.

 

All the children were reading beyond CVC words of the first Bob Book series, even those with learning issues who started the year with no phonemic awareness. And at least half the children were reading Frog and Toad type books by mid-year of kindergarten. So we had different experiences.

 

Bill

 

Considering that "Frog and Toad" books are on a 2nd grade level, that is pretty amazing. Even Highlands Latin School (with their 99th percentile national test scores) don't expect that level until 1st grade. Veritas Press also puts them in the first grade line-up.

[Renee in NC]

We did standardized testing in Missouri when my kids were in Kindergarten. They do the Naglieri - which is more like an intelligence test and not a "do you know your facts" test. I'm not sure why they do it.

 

It's a screening test. They can test everyone with that test and then re-test those scoring high or low with the WISC-IV or some other standard IQ test. Not a bad idea, actually.

 

Totally OT, I wish I could find someone to give my two that test here. I wonder if my 2 boys would score higher on a Non-Verbal test.

[....]

You can disagree, but I spent a good deal of time volunteering in the class this year (and my wife did a great deal more) and I'm quite aware of what was doing on in my son's school, which--it must be said--is a highly performing public school.

 

All the children were reading beyond CVC words of the first Bob Book series, even those with learning issues who started the year with no phonemic awareness. And at least half the children were reading Frog and Toad type books by mid-year of kindergarten. So we had different experiences.

 

Bill

 

Yep. We went to one of those schools too. They put my early-5 yro son in special ed because he couldn't figure out how to read "like all the other kids". I pulled my kids out of ps because of that year. My son was convinced he was stupid, the teachers didn't like him and that school was stupid (his exact words). Once again, I recommend the book Boys Adrift. The doctor in that book said that some boys' CT scans at age 5 look like girls' CT scans at age 3. This is why a lot of European countries don't require school until age 7. :willy_nilly: He also goes into the overwhelming number of ps boys who are medicated in the top-performing US school districts...:toetap05:

 

This is our second year homeschooling and my son is soooo proud of himself. He doesn't call himself "stupid" anymore and he is very excited to learn. He's also very good in math, but the ps wouldn't have known that because HEY! they don't do math! :glare: just reading. :D

[Spy Car]

Do they group them in classes by ability? For example, do the ones reading CVC words go in one class, those who don't know their alphabet in another, etc.?

 

Renee, in our school they tried to make the 4 kindergarten classes each have a full range of students. The ideal was to have all the incoming kindergarteners evaluated prior to school (in order to meet special needs) but school spending cutbacks meant many children (such as my own) were not evaluated.

 

But there was an effort made to have a mix of readiness levels in every class.

 

With-in the class the children were grouped into 4 separate reading groups so children could get more individualized attention whether they were more advanced, beginning, or average readers.

 

I am amazed that they were able to get LD kids reading at that high of a level in 9 months!

 

 

Frankly, so was I. It gave be a whole new level of respect for what a talented teacher and the classroom support of Aids and parent volunteers could do in a school year.

 

The achievements of the gifted children didn't really surprise me, but the strides made by the children with learning disabilities simply amazed me!

 

Bill

[....]

It's a screening test. They can test everyone with that test and then re-test those scoring high or low with the WISC-IV or some other standard IQ test. Not a bad idea, actually.

 

Totally OT, I wish I could find someone to give my two that test here. I wonder if my 2 boys would score higher on a Non-Verbal test.

 

Thanks. I actually was wondering about that. My daughter scored in the 99th percentile on that test when they gave it to her at school. The pediatrician said that it has a lot to do with what they're exposed to. She said the more stuff they see and experience "out in the world", the higher they tend to score on those tests. Something to do with seeing different ways to do things, solve problems, etc... :confused:

 

I dunno. The only thing I remember about Kindergarten was climbing to the top of the monkey bars, crying hysterically and then seeing this brown-haired lady tell me, "Come on down, Sweetie, we'll go call your mommy." :tongue_smilie:

[laundrycrisis]

There is a fine line between encouraging a parent that she hasn't failed her kindergartner and enabling low expectations. Finishing kindergarten with a child who doesn't have learning disabilities only reading CVC words on the level of the first Bob Book series would not put the child on track to start First Grade at my son's school.

 

 

Frankly I think this standard is warped. I suppose I have "low expectations". IMO one of the benefits of homeschooling is having the freedom to go a bit slower in the younger years if it fits the child. Some of the kids in our neighborhood openly say they hate school by the middle of grade 1. They are already stressed out by the pressure of a system that is in too much of a hurry. :(

 

That does not mean anyone has "failed." In my day we were not really taught to read until First Grade, and I'm a great reader. Many can (and do) debate the the costs and benefits of accelerating reading into kindergarten. But (for better, or worse) that is the state of education in functioning schools these days. And it is quite simply so that a child who wasn't reading beyond simple CVC words would not really be prepared for First Grade in many public and private schools.

 

 

We do not have to accept it as our own standard, or label it "low expectations" when someone doesn't adopt it.

 

I have very high expectations for my kids, at each level of learning, as they are ready for it and have mastered what came beforehand.

 

Yep. We went to one of those schools too. They put my early-5 yro son in special ed because he couldn't figure out how to read "like all the other kids". I pulled my kids out of ps because of that year. My son was convinced he was stupid, the teachers didn't like him and that school was stupid (his exact words)....... He also goes into the overwhelming number of ps boys who are medicated in the top-performing US school districts...:toetap05:

 

This is what would have happened to our son. I am absolutely sure of it.

 

This is our second year homeschooling and my son is soooo proud of himself. He doesn't call himself "stupid" anymore and he is very excited to learn.

 

That fits my version of "high expectations" :thumbup:

Edited August 1, 2010 by laundrycrisis

[Spy Car]

Yep. We went to one of those schools too. They put my early-5 yro son in special ed because he couldn't figure out how to read "like all the other kids". I pulled my kids out of ps because of that year. My son was convinced he was stupid, the teachers didn't like him and that school was stupid (his exact words). Once again, I recommend the book Boys Adrift. The doctor in that book said that some boys' CT scans at age 5 look like girls' CT scans at age 3. This is why a lot of European countries don't require school until age 7. :willy_nilly: He also goes into the overwhelming number of ps boys who are medicated in the top-performing US school districts...:toetap05:

 

This is our second year homeschooling and my son is soooo proud of himself. He doesn't call himself "stupid" anymore and he is very excited to learn. He's also very good in math, but the ps wouldn't have known that because HEY! they don't do math! :glare: just reading. :D

 

I'm under no illusions that many (most) schools do a great job with children who fall outside the "norm" (either those who have special needs or those who are highly gifted) but I've also witnessed what a highly functioning public school can do.

 

That said, there are all to few great public schools and I appreciate that many parents can do better for their children at home.

 

The debate about early reading vs late (or other academics, like math) is a worthy topic with advocates and data on each side, and people (children) are individuals and not "averages." Schools have a greater "need" to keep children on track (even at the expense of the bright kids at times) because it becomes harder and harder to give individualized attention. Here home education (including after-schooling) has obvious advantages in meeting particular needs.

 

But I wouldn't doubt a school Administrator who told me that reading only basic CVC type words was not adequate preparation for First Grade, because that would be the same situation at our school. Again that does not mean the OP has failed her child, just that were that child to enter some school situations they might not meet the expectations of First Grade reading.

 

Bill

[hornblower]

OP -

 

I think you have to sit down & really think through why you're homeschooling and what your goals are. And preferably write them down so you can review them at regular intervals to remind & reassure yourself.

 

These types of situations & criticisms will come up again & again (just wait till you get to homeschooling high school age kids LOL). You need to be secure in YOUR goals & YOUR objectives.

 

If your goals are to academically beat the best schools in your area, then you need to find out what their standards are & develop your plans accordingly.

 

If your goals are more about letting the child develop at their own pace etc etc etc, then once you've become really secure of your reasons, comments about academics or levels will not really interest you because you will KNOW deep down what you're accomplishing and why.

 

best wishes ~

[Annabel Lee]

To the OP: The Abeka teacher's measuring stick is not the only valid one in the universe, although she might not agree. ;) IME over the years at 5 different private schools that use Abeka, they consider their way of doing things superior and "at least 1 year or 2 ahead" of PS. I have used Abeka personally with my own kids as well, and while it's solid, there are other things out there that do the job just as well - OPG being one of them.

 

Just to give you another example of public school to measure by - my oldest son went to PS for the first half of 1st grade, then I homeschooled him part-time (math & LA) for the 2nd half. I volunteered a lot & started their advanced reading group. There were kids at the beginning of the year that came to 1st grade without letter recogniton, albeit that was the lowest end of the spectrum. They were being taught w/o phonics, and most were reading in the range of small readers (such as BOB books) to at-level readers (those stepped reading books such as All Aboard Reading or DK Readers, level 1).

 

The kids I was teaching in the advanced group could read well but many were stumped. They were attempting higher level material without the tools to sound out new words, so I began teaching them phonics. They were very quick to hold the "tools" in their minds and begin applying them.

 

Here's another comparison for you: My oldest son did Abeka for K-4, K5, and a little of it for the last half of 1st grade. He's in 4th grade now and I have a hard time stretching him past anything harder than a Magic Tree House book.

My youngest never did Abeka; he uses a few bits'n'pieces now, but we use it in our own way. He learned to read using OPG, Bob books, real books, etc. He devours books. Magic Tree House books are becoming too easy for him.

Using that example, one could argue that using Abeka does not ensure early readers or great readers.

 

IMO, I think you should relax, continue in your progression through OPG at 2 lessons per day as long as it's easy for your dc, supplement w/ some "real books" from the library or wherever, and read, read, read.

[FaithManor]

There are a lot bigger fish to fry at the tender age of 5 and 6 than whether or not one has progressed past CVC. I can think of many and since our area schools turn out kindergarteners who have been force fed specific sight words so that it can appear that they read but then the child can not even begin to discourse at all about the sentence, much less the story, the reality is that they can recognize individual words or they can decode but they have no comprehension. In and of itself, that is not reading by any stretch of the imagination except the public school one. Additionally, I find it fascinating that most k'ers in our p.s. do not have an even mildly fundamental ability to count or understand the most basic math concepts so forcing children to spend hours mimicing reading without actually reading at the expense of another equally vital life skill, is pointless and especially when the reading skill isn't actually acquired but just appears nice on the surface.

 

You didn't fail and for what it's worth, I've had p.s. and private teachers who have made snarky comments about my kids being behind until they actually spend some serious time interracting with them and then oops, the opinion is reversed. Most of the snarky comments are based on their own insecurities about the effectiveness of their own teaching skills. To be honest, for many, they were spoon-fed that only someone with a bachelor's degree in education could actually teach any child an academic skill and then when they encounter "regular" people doing that very thing and quite effectively, it's a real ego buster!

 

Additionally, boys are absolutely brow beat in a lot of schools for having the audacity to not be girls. It's pretty stupid. The interesting thing is that the highest literacy rates in this nation were achieved during the colonial era and again during the post-civil war era. Our educational philosophies have changed and with it, our literacy rates have plummeted. (Ask me how I know....I did a 40 page research paper on this for a child psych class in college.)

 

Maybe I am cynical, but I can say for certain that unless I was very close personal friends with that teacher and that person had proven time and time again to be wise and full of integrity plus open-minded, I would not take his/her opinion with a grain of salt!!!

 

You know your son best, you love him more than any teacher ever could, and so long as you are vigilant and diligent, he is going to be just fine!

 

Faith

[Renee in NC]

Frankly, so was I. It gave be a whole new level of respect for what a talented teacher and the classroom support of Aids and parent volunteers could do in a school year.

 

The achievements of the gifted children didn't really surprise me, but the strides made by the children with learning disabilities simply amazed me!

 

Bill

 

So, what I need here in my home is a talented teacher, an aide or two, and some volunteers....any takers?:lol: Oh wait - I could be the parent volunteer!:tongue_smilie:

[Spy Car]

So, what I need here in my home is a talented teacher, an aide or two, and some volunteers....any takers?:lol: Oh wait - I could be the parent volunteer!:tongue_smilie:

 

I suspect your child is getting more one-on-one attention from you than would be the case at any school. Having an Aid would be kinda nice though, eh? :D

 

Bill

[Stacy in NJ]

Frankly I think this standard is warped. I suppose I have "low expectations". IMO one of the benefits of homeschooling is having the freedom to go a bit slower in the younger years if it fits the child. Some of the kids in our neighborhood openly say they hate school by the middle of grade 1. They are already stressed out by the pressure of a system that is in too much of a hurry. :(

 

 

 

We do not have to accept it as our own standard, or label it "low expectations" when someone doesn't adopt it.

 

I have very high expectations for my kids, at each level of learning, as they are ready for it and have mastered what came beforehand.

 

 

 

This is what would have happened to our son. I am absolutely sure of it.

 

 

 

That fits my version of "high expectations" :thumbup:

 

Some of your comments here really address the why of why we homeschool. It's really a confidence issue. Standards are goals and goals can be wonderful things. There is a dual danger to standards though. The first being, as Bill pointed out, lower expectations based on experience with low performing schools, and the false satisfaction one as a homeschooler can indulge in under these circumstances. The second, I think, is the danger of a loss of confidence in both the parent and the child when expectations are pushed down to satisfy a competitive society at too early an age. Also, I think highly competitive parents sometimes foster a false sense of accomplishment based on early academic performance that can lead to a real turn-off in their children later in tween and teen years. That comment is based purely on my own observation.

 

My goal in education my boys (ds13 and ds11) is to both maintain high expectations while cultivating a sense of individual accomplishment based on who they actual are as people instead of the restrictive box a public school would encase them in and the sometimes idiotic (and sometimes sensible) hoops schools force on kids. It's about confidence instead of self satisfaction ~ if that makes any sense. :tongue_smilie:

[Spy Car]

Frankly I think this standard is warped. I suppose I have "low expectations". IMO one of the benefits of homeschooling is having the freedom to go a bit slower in the younger years if it fits the child. Some of the kids in our neighborhood openly say they hate school by the middle of grade 1. They are already stressed out by the pressure of a system that is in too much of a hurry. :(

 

There is no doubt that many schools have advanced the academic bench-marks a full year from when I was a child. I'm sure this has ramifications (both good and bad) depending on the child.

 

Whether this advancement of academics is best for most students (or not) is something I can't answer. I do know that individual students are not the same as "most" students.

 

But, for better or worse, the expectations in highly performing schools are what they are.

 

We do not have to accept it as our own standard, or label it "low expectations" when someone doesn't adopt it.

 

True. Unless you plan to put a 6 year old into some schools (as the hypothetical situation here) as the child might find themselves behind in reading. And being "behind" is not a good situation for most students in most schools as they tend to be neglected.

 

That does not mean the more accelerated approach is the only valid standard.

 

Bill

[FairProspects]

Do they group them in classes by ability? For example, do the ones reading CVC words go in one class, those who don't know their alphabet in another, etc.?

 

Our school does not group by class, but within the class they differentiate the K'ers into tracks, so they are literally tracked from before they enter school. Kids who don't know their alphabet will be in the lowest reading group at start at reader 1 (which contains mostly pictures) with some alphabet thrown in. Kids who are reading CVC words will be in the middle group and start at readers 10-12, kids reading long vowels, R-controlled, etc. will start at readers in the teens, kids reading fluently will test out of the system and work on independent reading with AR tests. So, it is not to group by classes (these are pre-set before assessments occur) but so they can track within a class before school begins.

[indigomama]

OP -

 

I think you have to sit down & really think through why you're homeschooling and what your goals are. And preferably write them down so you can review them at regular intervals to remind & reassure yourself.

 

These types of situations & criticisms will come up again & again (just wait till you get to homeschooling high school age kids LOL). You need to be secure in YOUR goals & YOUR objectives.

 

If your goals are to academically beat the best schools in your area, then you need to find out what their standards are & develop your plans accordingly.

 

If your goals are more about letting the child develop at their own pace etc etc etc, then once you've become really secure of your reasons, comments about academics or levels will not really interest you because you will KNOW deep down what you're accomplishing and why.

 

best wishes ~

 

Thank you, you're right. I need to sit down and write out my reasons for homeschooling. I had great goals and inspirations for homeschooling and somehow got distracted in the midst of schooling.

Perhaps, it was a good thing this teacher/school upset me, it certainly got me thinking!

I think I'll spend this quiet Sunday afternoon reflecting on what I desire for my children, and hopefully work out a rough path for getting us all there.

 

Thanks again, everyone. This thread has been invaluable.

[ChemMommy]

You are at the point where you will be most vulnerable to criticism, IMHO.

 

I remember all of the flack I received from my friends when I didn't send mine to public K. At one point, I took my poor K-er to the library for a complete lesson on the Dewey Decimal System just because some ps parent commented that their child had been taught the DDS in school. Now, in hindsight, I realize that the kid got a visit to the school library--he never learned the DDS in K, but at the time, I was terrified that I was ruining my kid!

 

You can't fail teaching K!! Seriously!

 

My kids became beginning "readers" midway through 1st, at the very end of second, toward the end of 1st, and early in 2nd grade. Same parent/teacher, four different kids' learning styles!

 

Just keep patiently teaching reading. It seemed that, for each of my four kids, they hit a wall in reading and made little progress for weeks/months. And then, suddenly, with no magic trick on my part, they just started reading. Honestly, I think they learn to read at their own pace.

 

One piece of advice: don't ask others what they are learning in school or whether your child is ahead or behind. Research it own your own, go to school and look at the books after school, or listen in on the conversation of other kids, but don't ask. So many people feel threatened by hser or feel guilty that they aren't hsing, that they will always criticize your educational choices.

 

Remember, you aren't trying to replicate school at home. If you were, I'd just encourage you to send them off on the yellow bus! Instead, you are trying to design an education for your child that meets his needs and lets him learn at his own pace. Of course, your homeschool won't resemble a public school class.

 

File this comment under "W" for "worthless" and move on to 1st grade. I bet by this time next year, your son will be reading nicely.

[Jean in Newcastle]

Has anyone told you the "old" homeschooling adage that "this is a marathon and not a sprint"? As I've gone put some years under my belt homeschooling two kids, I've found that it is very easy to fluctuate between being ahead (Yea! Take that you p.s. system!) to being behind (Oh no! I'm failing them, I'd better put them into the p.s. system!).

 

Some of it is the sequence of our particular curriculum. If the math book doesn't introduce a concept until after another publisher's math book, it doesn't necessarily mean the child is behind because chances are that same math book introduced some other concepts ahead of the other publisher's math book.

 

I've also found that there can be a big fluctuation because I can and do match what we do to my dc's developmental abilities. If that light bulb hasn't turned on so that we can do long vowel sounds, then we would be spinning our wheels if we introduced it and just went plowing ahead. Once the lightbulb goes off, you will find yourself flying through the material and all of a sudden you are caught up again and sometimes have flown past the bigger classes of children that have to plug on through whether all the children are ready for the next skill or not.

 

You are at the very start of your marathon. Dd8 started out ahead (1st grade when she was five). Then she got behind (because her development was not even at that young age). Last year we told people she was in a 2nd/3rd split. Then she started to catch up. By the end of the year she was doing all 3rd grade work - but not all of the 3rd grade books were finished. We have worked over the summer (lightly) with a couple of subjects so that we could finish out the 3rd grade material and be ready for the 4th grade material. We will start this year at all 4th grade. I don't know what the future holds, but I do know that she will finish the marathon, perhaps not first, but not last either. And we're having fun running it.