What's your BEST advice to me as I begin my homeschooling-momhood?

[mhg]

My son JUST turned four, so we're just preK/keeping it light this year, but I've begun to read/learn a BIT of what's available out there; it's overwhelming. Any advice you have for me? Any "I-wish-someone-would-have-told-me_______________"s? Or any "Boy!-I'm-glad-we_______"s? Any regrets? THANKS SO MUCH! This "larvae" needs some cooling down (isn't that what other bees do.....fan the larvae!:tongue_smilie:!"

I COVET your advice and wisdom!

Edited July 26, 2010 by mhg
typo

[patchfire]

I wish someone had told me...

 

... to shut off the computer more often.

 

... to only read threads when I had something to contribute or I was actively looking to make a change in curriculum in that subject. Changing curriculum isn't bad if it's needed, but make sure you had the need before you opened that thread. Even if you aren't the type to switch a lot, you'll save yourself the hours of agonizing that you're screwing up because you didn't buy the Super Deluxe XYZ Curriculomatic, but instead are using the Plain Normal Curriculodoodad.

 

... that the mom determines everything. Children emulate what they are around, and while most of the time that's good, it also means that when you have a bad day, chances are, they'll have a bad day in some way, be it behavior or academics. It took me a couple of years to realize that my oldest had bad academic days ONLY on the days I let my moods influence school. D'oh!

 

... that homeschooling is a lot like an airplane ride. Put the mask on yourself first. Make sure you're taking time for yourself, in whatever way is best for you. Me? I need good books, custard nights with my girls, a standing appointment with the chiropractor, and a monthly massage. Give me those things, and I'm one happy homeschooler. Your needs may be different. The important thing is NOT to feel guilty about what you need. :)

[Hedgehogs4]

My son JUST turned four, so we're just preK/keeping it light this year, but I've begun to read/learn a BIT of what's available out there; it's overwhelming. Any advice you have for me? Any "I-wish-someone-would-have-told-me_______________"s? Or any "Boy!-I'm-glad-we_______"s? Any regrets? THANKS SO MUCH! This "larvae" needs some cooling down (isn't that what other bees do.....fan the larvae!:tongue_smilie:!"

I COVET your advice and wisdom!

 

my #1 best advice (and the one that was the hardest to learn) is that stress in your life / school / home / family is like pain in your body. when you are experiencing this, SOMETHING IS WRONG. STOP. FIGURE OUT WHAT THE CAUSE OF THE STRESS IS, AND FIX IT. my #2 best advice is "homeschooling" is not the cause of the stress. it may be some aspect of homeschooling, but generally speaking, keeping your kids home and teaching them is a stress-reducer, not a stress-producer. don't put too much pressure on yourself or your kids. curriculum isn't working? tweak it. toss it. schedule sucks? change it. need more time alone? take it.

best advice #3 ... homeschooling is a made-up word. home is the first part. be there most of the time. schooling is supposed to happen at home...not running around like a chicken with your head cut off.

[Hedgehogs4]

I wish someone had told me...

 

... to shut off the computer more often.

 

... to only read threads when I had something to contribute or I was actively looking to make a change in curriculum in that subject. Changing curriculum isn't bad if it's needed, but make sure you had the need before you opened that thread. Even if you aren't the type to switch a lot, you'll save yourself the hours of agonizing that you're screwing up because you didn't buy the Super Deluxe XYZ Curriculomatic, but instead are using the Plain Normal Curriculodoodad.

 

... that the mom determines everything. Children emulate what they are around, and while most of the time that's good, it also means that when you have a bad day, chances are, they'll have a bad day in some way, be it behavior or academics. It took me a couple of years to realize that my oldest had bad academic days ONLY on the days I let my moods influence school. D'oh!

 

... that homeschooling is a lot like an airplane ride. Put the mask on yourself first. Make sure you're taking time for yourself, in whatever way is best for you. Me? I need good books, custard nights with my girls, a standing appointment with the chiropractor, and a monthly massage. Give me those things, and I'm one happy homeschooler. Your needs may be different. The important thing is NOT to feel guilty about what you need. :)

:iagree: yes. plus everything i wrote.

[birchbark]

Habits of Healthy Homeschoolers

[JennyW]

The thing that has been the best for me to keep in mind is to pay close attention to my kids as I'm teaching or they're doing schoolwork. If their eyes glaze over, go back a step or two. If their attention wavers, take a break, perhaps some mild exercise. If they just can't get a concept, put it away for a while. They'll get it more easily later.

[Rosy]

Formal schooling is only as good as its ability to produce actual learning. Build up gradually to it. A 6-year-old who is frustrated and not retaining anything isn't ready for formal schooling. Your time with him/her will be much more fruitful and enjoyable reading on the couch together, using manipulatives to count and add, etc.

 

Two of my kids (1st and last) will knock me over to get to their reading books and workbooks, one is set on making our school times as miserable as possible in hopes that we'll end early or not do it at all, and one learns virtually everything by absorbing what the other kids are doing--it is very hard to sit her down and teach her something. All kids learn differently, and all kids have a different approach to school. Your main job in the early years is to help them make connections between their brains and information...until they learn to acquire that information themselves. Formal schooling isn't the best way of doing that for all kids. I do think it is necessary eventually, but if your kid doesn't love workbooks and lessons, use them sparingly at first and follow your kid's cues for bringing more of them in.

 

If you are ever tempted to think that school is like spinach, they need it because it's good for them even if they don't like it...please reconsider. Kids work hardest and are most fruitful when they are self-driven from a desire to learn and an interest in the subject. If you are going to require a certain subject in the early years, make sure it is necessary. In our house, reading and math are non-negotiables, we've done writing about half of the time, and we've done spelling and grammar when we were up for it. But if they hate spinach, I give them broccoli, if that makes sense. :) We do Bible, science, history and art together and rarely have any issues with them. Preschoolers can wander in and out at will (except during Bible). Now we're ready to bring in spelling, grammar, and writing consistently. All of this is mostly because of DS, my reluctant learner. DD9 is one where I just need to make sure she has her materials and get out of the way...I do have to make sure she does certain things she doesn't like as much, but there isn't much resistance if any.

 

All that to say, make it as engaging as possible (notice I didn't say fun), and use coercion only when necessary. Yes, I do believe it is necessary sometimes, and that kids should obey their parents always...but learning should be a delight.

[kalanamak]

Don't push or panic about anything at this age.

Its a marathon, not a sprint.

Look for fun in things. Look for teachable moments.

 

 

That is standard advice, and rather sensible. My personal trick is that I read middle school books about subjects I'm going to teach my child. That means the nomenclature is on the tip of my tongue and I have some idea where I'm going. Plus, they are easy enough you can cook right through them instead of getting bogged down on college geology, e.g.

 

Oh, and don't be afraid to ask questions here.

[Caitilin]

That WTM and other books of that ilk are guides, not recipes. I was just discussing with a hsing friend about how much more relaxed we are with our younger children than we allowed ourselves to be with our oldests.

 

The WTM is great, I love it, I reread it at least once a year to review, but I CANNOT do everything in it. I had to learn to accept that. Since then, life's been a lot less stressful. ;)

[Devotional Soul]

I wish I had read the book How To Talk So Kids Will Listen And Listen So Kids Will Talk before starting homeschool. I am also now realizing the importance of cultivating a relationship of respect for elders, teachers, and parents. I had so much fun playing with my kids that now I'm working hard to establish my position as the one in charge and not just a peer. On the other hand, having fun is a major motivation for learning, so finding the balance is key, IMO.

[imhim]

Pray for wisdom, patience and endurance. And remember why you homeschool when it gets tough.

 

At 4, 5, 6, 7 just have fun. Do school, but have fun.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

My son JUST turned four, so we're just preK/keeping it light this year, but I've begun to read/learn a BIT of what's available out there; it's overwhelming. Any advice you have for me? Any "I-wish-someone-would-have-told-me_______________"s? Or any "Boy!-I'm-glad-we_______"s? Any regrets? THANKS SO MUCH! This "larvae" needs some cooling down (isn't that what other bees do.....fan the larvae!:tongue_smilie:!"

I COVET your advice and wisdom!

 

There aren't magical curricula, only diligence and hard work.

 

Don't stockpile workbooks for the future. Odds are they won't be a good fit. (I refer to buying up stuff that you've heard of but aren't ready for, not books you've used that you're holding for the next kid.)

 

Haunt library sales and build a great home library of good stories.

 

It's ok to be different. Even from your good homeschooling friends.

 

Don't push academics on a child who isn't ready for it. It's ok to wallow in good books read aloud.

 

At the same time, don't get too used to putting off hard work with the idea that you will make it up later. Sometimes you have trouble catching up.

 

Love on and snuggle your kids. They will be semi-autonomous teens in just the twinkling of an eye.:confused:

[Sweet Home Alabama]

If I could start over again, I would have a plan with the end in mind. Now, it's impossible to plan for everything, but when I started out, I really lived from one year to the next without that long-term vision.

 

I started using WTM years after we started homeschooling, but last year I began to use it to help me plan our homeschool with kids in 1st, 5th and 6th grades. It is so packed with information, that I really use it only as a guide because we're not on "schedule" with the history cycle or science cycle following history.....

 

It has really helped me to see the differences between grammar, logic, and rhetoric stages. I've been able to better understand what kind of work/goals to expect from each stage. It gives me a framework to help me stay focused and organized.

 

Change is inevitable, but make a plan. Know roughly where you want to finish. Choose curriculua carefully. Ask those who have homeschooled successufully any questions you may have. Pray. Be humble. Be flexible.

 

I am so aware that without the Lord to carry us through this adventure, I am not able to be successful. Homeschooling IS for me Hebrews 11:1. My children's futures (loving Jesus, having productive lives, passing on the Faith) are the things I hope for. I absolutely do what I can in my own strength to help these along. But, I soooo have to trust the Lord to cover me when I fail and to complete in my kids the things HE intended for them in the first place.

[cin]

I have a child with some special needs. It's not severe, but they are there.

 

I was lamenting the fact that we didn't do memory work. But it always such a struggle, and DD has such problems with memory work. My friend turned to me and said "Well, then you SHOULDN'T be doing it".

 

I was wishing we could do more unit studies. Our last round of testing with the Psychologist pointed out that DD needs HIGH structure and has anticipatory anxiety. Work/textbooks are good. Next day, Next page. No anxiety, very clear.

 

And lastly, I was complaining that we were sooo far behind because of all the medical appts. last year. My wise, wise, friend said 'behind who?'

 

You are homeschooling to give your children a customized education. Give it to them. Don't compare yourself to others. Do what is best for THEM.

[Paisley Hedgehog]

..

[Closeacademy]

My biggies:

 

Don't start the academics until first grade.

 

Use K year to start phonics but don't push reading yet. Spend some time playng and learning about how your child learns.

 

Enjoy the preschool years and spend plenty of time cuddling, exploring the outdoors, talking, telling stories, cooking, singing, dancing, painting, drawing, playing with playdough, building up good habits and just enjoying each other.

 

When it is time to start school--write lesson plans that are flexible and have a good daily schedule/rhythm. Be willing to change things but also stay consistent.

 

Mainly just enjoy this time that you have with your child because it all goes so quickly.:001_smile:

[TheCoffeeChick]

Enjoy your days with your young ones - it is such a fun and exciting period in their lives.

 

Take time to let your little guy explore the world: Go outside, everyday - or at least most days. Even if you are not filling out workbooks or writing down anything, it is still a time of learning, perhaps even more so than when you do sit down with a book.

 

Don't stress over when other kids hit the mile stones that yours hasn't already - learning to read, memorizing math facts, etc ... You'll drive yourself bonkers reading the threads in which someone says their 3 year old is reading Shakespeare or their 8 year old is doing algebra. ;) Your child will get to those when he's good and ready. Show your children how to work hard and do their best and expect nothing more ... and nothing less.

 

Take a deep breath before reacting poorly to something your child has done and remember why you are doing this in the first place. Fill your child's life with memories of a happy mom, not one who is always stressed and upset. If you need a day or two off from academics - take it. One of the beauties of homeschooling is that you get to decide when there is a "snow day" (or a "It's so nice outside, we're headed to the pool day").

 

Most importantly - HAVE FUN!! Homeschooling is a blast! :D

[Robin's Song]

Mine are little, too. FWIW...

 

If you haven't already, develop good habits NOW. As much as possible, get your cooking and cleaning schedules on automatic pilot. Help your children learn to do the same. Baths, morning and evening routines, how to clean up their toys, how to help clean messier projects (crafts, cooking), how to NOT make huge messes :glare:, obedience, cheerfulness, contentment, etc...

 

We did nothing but reading/writing/arithmetic last year. We will do the same this year until dd turns 7, and then we will slowly add some of the things in my siggy. I want to focus on making these things automatic now. Obviously I'm not an experienced homeschooler, but I'm betting that the effort we put forth now will pay off later.

 

Also, it is helpful for me to remember that I am a mommy to 4, not just the child I am homeschooling. The littles aren't distractions.

[NanceXToo]

Your child doesn't need every subject under the sun and multiple curricula for each subject and hours and hours a day doing school work.... have fun. Play. Explore. Pretend. Go outside. Talk! I averaged about 3 hours of schoolwork a day with my 4th grade 9 y/o and we had plenty of time for life, which for me was a good thing. So for a K'er, 1st and 2nd grader etc... it would be even less time spent on academic stuff. (Which is not to say we didn't do other educational things with our days, but they were fun, hands on, getting out in the world kinda things, too).

 

Your child doesn't have to learn to read and add etc before he turns 5. I'm really glad I found the Oak Meadow curriculum because it's much more laid back in the earliest years. K is more of a preschool curriculum, really, but I LIKE that about it. It's very story, nature, arts and crafts, music and movement based with lots of creative, hands on ideas for learning. I'm looking forward to starting it with my son in the fall. I loved it for 4th grade for my daughter, too, she'll be moving on to OM5.

[FO4UR]

Great thread btw!:001_smile:

 

I'll add...keep the skills "mommy-led" (handwriting, phonics, math, and basic good habits) always using your own child's ability as your guide.

 

Ease into schoolwork slowly. Leapfrog Letter Factory would be my very 1st HS purchase and our jumping off point for learning to read. When that little video has served it's purpose, then do more...slowly...

 

Teach handwriting to your 4yo, if ready...however, not with pencil and paper. Learn all the strokes in sand, fingerpaints, playdoh...whatever else seems fun and messy. Write a lot in front of your child. Take the time to do all of the fun fine-motor building activities that only a 4yo could love.

 

Keep math REAL LIFE for a long long time....and add Cuisenaire Rods to your dc's playthings now.

 

READ ALOUD as much as humanly possible, and borrow audio-books from the library when you are simply done. Get in all the wonderful picture books while you can. Read some books without pictures too.

 

I've relaxed a lot with my 3rd dc, who is 4yo now. Learning to obey mommy and follow directions is honestly my top concern.

[mhg]

This advice is great. I'm steadily printing them out for "meditation". Please continue, others! Again, I'm all :bigear:ears!

[Barry Goldwater]

Articulate verbally WHY you are homeschooling, create a written mission statement of your PURPOSE and GOALS, and lean on these for your compass (you will have days where get discouraged, or tempted to discontinue, and do what everyone else does).

 

Till they're 8 or so, take it easy on formal curriculum...instead:

 

Read read read

play games

do puzzles

'treasure hunt'

target practice (BB, bow & arrow, or sling)

fly a kite

cook & bake together

do chores together

apply simple math to day to day

always be teaching from sunrise to sunset, but appropriate for the child's inquisitiveness (why is the sky blue? does not require an advanced discussion of light wavelengths and particle diffusion!)

Go on bug hunts

Plant things

Raise pets

Hike

Visit museums, zoos, libraries, plays, movies (they're EMPTY during the school year on weekdays, usually).

 

Answer all the questions to the best of your ability. DC's are BORN with inquisitiveness...cultivate it.

 

Model the behavior you desire in your child.

 

AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!

 

 

FINALLY:

 

you do NOT OWE everyone you meet a DEFENSE or explanation for your decision to homeschool...while the mainstream culture has gotten better, a lot of people view it as an affront to their decision to send their children to PS. YOU DON'T NEED TO PERSUADE EVERYONE THAT YOU'VE DONE THE RIGHT THING...pleasant smiles, short answers and a cheerful 'good day' are adequate.

 

Oh, yeah...if he's not already, get your spouse 100% onboard too...that helps a lot...'equally yoked' and all...

[Woolspinner]

ENJOY these young years! Read, explore, expose him to things and talk, cuddle. Establish your relationship and always keep your relationsip a priority!

 

NEVER compare YOURSELF or YOUR CHILD with ANYONE else! Like Jesus said to Peter about John, "What is it to you if he should live until I return?"

What matters is what God has called YOU to do and that you are faithful in that.

 

Be consistant. Develop good habits. Train your little one to help with chores and be responsible for cetain chores himself. When he is old enough, teach him to cook and do laundry.

 

ALWAYS pray, for yourself and God's strength and leading and for wisdom.

And ALWAYS pray for your son. Pray together.

 

May you have the journey of a lifetime!

[dtonito3]

...you buy everything thing you "think" might work for your child. ( You will probably not use half of it)

....demand that everyday must be a productive day...(be real did you give 100% everyday when you were in the work force?)

...you guide yourself by your child "desires" for the day....they change as fast as the wind....

...set a basic schedule and not include felxibility.... (a schedule should be maintaint 85-90% not 100%)

...you don't remember to "just take the day off" when things are going so badly it is causing distress to you and your kids...(no one ever learns in this enviroment AND no one ever teaches well in it either)

...you don't stick to the basics and then branch out...

 

READ "THE WELL_TRAINED_MIND" you can't do EVERYTHING in it but you can adjust and most importantly learn where your childs ability to learn is at a given time.

 

Just my thoughts... hope they help OH! One mor very imporant thing... I started homeschooling my 2nd son since pre-K..... remember the age of who you are speaking to... I juggled between speaking to an adult and then to my kindergardener and wondered why he couldn't just get it.... well he didn't even know half of the workds I was saying becasue I was talking to him with the vocabulary I used to talk to my teen. Logic was just not there.....

Edited July 26, 2010 by dtonito3

[melissel]

May I just say that I'm getting so much out of this thread, and I've been HSing for a few years already? Thanks to everyone who contributed, and to the OP for starting!

[ereks mom]

Originally Posted by Sahamamama:

 

Read.

 

Read books on homeschooling (from various angles/philosophies). Give yourself a few years to digest it all, there is so much to get sorted out in the Mommy's head.

 

Read to your children. Snuggle up and read. Picture books. Bible stories (if you do that). Poetry. Books about animals. Books about other countries and cultures. Folk tales, fairy tales, Mother Goose, nursery rhymes.

 

Turn the television off or down. Learn to live without that box, as much as possible.

 

Turn the stereo on. Use music to learn as much as possible. It's wonderful to learn with a happy song.

 

Teach your children to follow your directions, to listen to your voice, to speak respectfully, to cooperate with your plans for the day.

 

Teach your children to do simple chores -- empty trash cans, sweep the kitchen floor, match & fold socks, fold towels, put away stacks of laundry, feed the cat, clean up their toys. Organize their toys, books, and games so they can do their own clean up.

 

Stay healthy and enjoy the great outdoors. Exercise. Eat right. Get everyone to bed on time, including yourself. Don't stay up all night researching curriculum on the Internet. Ask me how I know....

 

Play with your little ones. Enjoy them as their mother, don't just teach them as their teacher. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance these roles (sort of). I think affection and snuggly reading times are helpful antidotes to "pushing" too much academic material onto little children. When we snuggle up with a good picture book and small, warm bodies, we remember that they are such young children. The mother-heart is strengthened when we snuggle and read.... And, it's fun!

 

Finally, for me, it's important to pray, to ask God to guide us as we learn each day.

 

To this I would add: Don't get so caught up in getting school done that you forget to simply enjoy your children. They grow up WAY too quickly, and you will find yourself wondering where the time has gone. Make sure that when you look back, you have few regrets.

Edited July 26, 2010 by ereks mom

[LynnG in Arizona]

I wish someone had told me...

 

... to shut off the computer more often.

 

... to only read threads when I had something to contribute or I was actively looking to make a change in curriculum in that subject. Changing curriculum isn't bad if it's needed, but make sure you had the need before you opened that thread. Even if you aren't the type to switch a lot, you'll save yourself the hours of agonizing that you're screwing up because you didn't buy the Super Deluxe XYZ Curriculomatic, but instead are using the Plain Normal Curriculodoodad.

 

... that the mom determines everything. Children emulate what they are around, and while most of the time that's good, it also means that when you have a bad day, chances are, they'll have a bad day in some way, be it behavior or academics. It took me a couple of years to realize that my oldest had bad academic days ONLY on the days I let my moods influence school. D'oh!

 

... that homeschooling is a lot like an airplane ride. Put the mask on yourself first. Make sure you're taking time for yourself, in whatever way is best for you. Me? I need good books, custard nights with my girls, a standing appointment with the chiropractor, and a monthly massage. Give me those things, and I'm one happy homeschooler. Your needs may be different. The important thing is NOT to feel guilty about what you need. :)

 

:iagree: Really, really good advice!

[Tracy]

I blogged about this: What I Wish I Had Known.

[Jennefer@SSA]

I wish someone had told me...

 

... to shut off the computer more often.

 

... to only read threads when I had something to contribute or I was actively looking to make a change in curriculum in that subject. Changing curriculum isn't bad if it's needed, but make sure you had the need before you opened that thread. Even if you aren't the type to switch a lot, you'll save yourself the hours of agonizing that you're screwing up because you didn't buy the Super Deluxe XYZ Curriculomatic, but instead are using the Plain Normal Curriculodoodad.

 

... that the mom determines everything. Children emulate what they are around, and while most of the time that's good, it also means that when you have a bad day, chances are, they'll have a bad day in some way, be it behavior or academics. It took me a couple of years to realize that my oldest had bad academic days ONLY on the days I let my moods influence school. D'oh!

 

... that homeschooling is a lot like an airplane ride. Put the mask on yourself first. Make sure you're taking time for yourself, in whatever way is best for you. Me? I need good books, custard nights with my girls, a standing appointment with the chiropractor, and a monthly massage. Give me those things, and I'm one happy homeschooler. Your needs may be different. The important thing is NOT to feel guilty about what you need. :)

 

:iagree::iagree::iagree: Fantastic advice! I especially resonated with the parts in bold!

 

For me, I need Thursday nights out of the house. Sometimes I meet a friend, sometimes I run errands and most often I curl up with a good book at a local wine bar/coffee house and read. I also need one Friday each six weeks for a "teacher-inservice" to keep me focused on the why behind the what of homeschooling. I can get burned out way too easily. I need plenty of sleep and to eat healthfully - with a regular dose of dark chocolate m&m's thrown in for good measure and an occasional Sonic drink too! I used to feel guilty but I have realized that it is what it is. I can work with it or fight it!

 

Blessings on your journey!!!

[JennW in SoCal]

Originally Posted by Sahamamama:

 

Read.

 

Read books on homeschooling (from various angles/philosophies). Give yourself a few years to digest it all, there is so much to get sorted out in the Mommy's head.

 

Read to your children. Snuggle up and read. Picture books. Bible stories (if you do that). Poetry. Books about animals. Books about other countries and cultures. Folk tales, fairy tales, Mother Goose, nursery rhymes.

 

Turn the television off or down. Learn to live without that box, as much as possible.

 

Turn the stereo on. Use music to learn as much as possible. It's wonderful to learn with a happy song.

 

Teach your children to follow your directions, to listen to your voice, to speak respectfully, to cooperate with your plans for the day.

 

Teach your children to do simple chores -- empty trash cans, sweep the kitchen floor, match & fold socks, fold towels, put away stacks of laundry, feed the cat, clean up their toys. Organize their toys, books, and games so they can do their own clean up.

 

Stay healthy and enjoy the great outdoors. Exercise. Eat right. Get everyone to bed on time, including yourself. Don't stay up all night researching curriculum on the Internet. Ask me how I know....

 

Play with your little ones. Enjoy them as their mother, don't just teach them as their teacher. I'm still trying to figure out how to balance these roles (sort of). I think affection and snuggly reading times are helpful antidotes to "pushing" too much academic material onto little children. When we snuggle up with a good picture book and small, warm bodies, we remember that they are such young children. The mother-heart is strengthened when we snuggle and read.... And, it's fun!

 

Finally, for me, it's important to pray, to ask God to guide us as we learn each day.

 

To this I would add: Don't get so caught up in getting school done that you forget to simply enjoy your children. They grow up WAY too quickly, and you will find yourself wondering where the time has gone. Make sure that when you look back, you have few regrets.

 

:iagree: Especially the reading aloud part. Mine were never snugglers during reading time -- they had to wiggle, jump, fidget and squirm, but I read aloud for hours and hours, even when they were young teens. You will never regret spending that time together.

 

This is a long way off, but I'll throw it out there for your consideration. Keep your sense of humor during the puberty years because it can make your kids smelly and obnoxious. But once it passes you get the wonderful payoff of sharing life with interesting young adults!

[swainsonshawk]

My best Advice:

 

Relationship is first, Schoolwork is second. If getting schoolwork done is interfering with your relationship with your child, drop it! Do something different. Kids do not learn when under stress or when they are crying.

 

Maybe this is obvious to you, but it took me a few years to learn. This is not to say that my kids don't do things that they don't like (math and writing, for example). But it takes some real parenting and listening and praying (in my case) to figure out what to do when things aren't working. And just pushing through is not the answer.

[mhg]

Thanks to the best HIVE ever! Thanks so much!

[janie_ranae]

I echo my thanks to the op for asking the question and to everyone who replied! I received both encouragement and challenges when reading the various posts.

 

Not to hi-jack the post, but several of you mentioned how important it is to train your children to obey. I realize that it is somewhat of an ongoing process, but are there any suggestions or materials that you have used that were especially helpful? I thank the Lord for the three wonderful children (ages 3 -8) He has blessed us with! :001_smile:

[Mothersweets]

I wish I would have read A Charlotte Mason Companion by Karen Andreola when I first started out waaay back in '96 ( I think it actually came out in '98, though). I saw it in catalogs for years and only read it last summer. Waaaah!

[In2why]

I have a child with some special needs. It's not severe, but they are there.

 

I was lamenting the fact that we didn't do memory work. But it always such a struggle, and DD has such problems with memory work. My friend turned to me and said "Well, then you SHOULDN'T be doing it".

 

I was wishing we could do more unit studies. Our last round of testing with the Psychologist pointed out that DD needs HIGH structure and has anticipatory anxiety. Work/textbooks are good. Next day, Next page. No anxiety, very clear.

 

And lastly, I was complaining that we were sooo far behind because of all the medical appts. last year. My wise, wise, friend said 'behind who?'

 

You are homeschooling to give your children a customized education. Give it to them. Don't compare yourself to others. Do what is best for THEM.

 

I love this and I am going to put it on my cork board so that I can refer to it often. I was thinking last night that I should try to fit in Latin but I know that the schedule we have already might get tough if I don't do plenty of hands on fun and I needed to read this, and feel this, instead of comparing my plan with someone else.

[In2why]

The other posters did a wonderful job pointing out to enjoy the process, so I will answer the part about what I can't live without that doesn't include curriculum (because every child needs something different)

 

A large Dry Erase board.....My son is a perfectionist and hates marks on his papers due to erasing. A dry erase board makes it a snap and he doesn't beat up on himself when he needs to "fix" something.

 

Geoboards....These things cost next to nothing, and all of my kids and even most adults who see them wind up making terrific shapes and having a blast with them.

 

A 5$ thrift shop cassette recorder and player. The kids record themselves singing and reading into it and I keep the cassettes in a box to enjoy when I am old and they forget to call. :tongue_smilie: They can also listen to books on tape since many of our library resources are on tape instead of CD and none of my vehicles have cassette players in them anymore.

 

When I buy a $4 pack of printer papers I buy and extra for the kids to draw on. They love to draw and can throw away the first 10 sheets they practiced on without me wincing at the cost. I also love butcher or newspaper paper, but it is harder to come by these days.

 

Finally use the 5 senses daily with your kids....whenever we go somewhere new we stop close our eyes and I ask them what they hear, smell, feel, taste, and finally when they open their eyes I ask them what they see. This is a fantastic way to enjoy the beach, a park, even a large city, and hopefully will remind them to engage with what they are doing whenever they are doing it.....I started this with my kids by holding a cold orange in their laps and peeling it and eating it slowly while concentrating on every sense they had so they would know what I meant when I asked. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

[Kari C in SC]

RELAX!!! I worried so much when I began homeschooling. Was I ruining my ds? Was I missing something? The list goes on. The first couple of years we homeschooled, ds was in 5th and 6th grade. We read tons of books together. He read a page and I read two. I love those memories. When he got to high school, he hated school. It was awful getting him to do lessons. I cut it back to math and language arts. He worked 32 hours a week at Chick Fil A. I worried I was destroying him. He passed away from a car accident in May. The army delivered his belongings last week or the week before. I lose track. I found lots of notebooks with VERY DETAILED notes on his job. He took it very seriously. All of my worrying that he would never write a coherent sentence was silly. When it mattered to him, he did it and did it well.

 

My advice is to enjoy your kids. Soak them in. Love them. I am not an unschooler. I am just a mom that looks back and realizes that you are not promised more than the moment you are in, so enjoy it.

[SnowWhite]

I have my third preschooler coming up through the ranks (he just turned one, LOL). What I plan to do differently is to try to use the fun parts of things, the things I want to do, in any order. If I feel like some animal crafts, we will do animal crafts. If I feel like read-alouds, we will do read-alouds. I don't plan to buy in to any pre fab preschool things (but I have plenty of activities books and stuff from which to pull resources). I want to just soak in the "fun-ness" of preschool this time.