s/o weaning 3 year old

[jld]

Did anybody read that and think, wow, that's young to stop nursing, lol?

 

I think I must be hopelessly out of the mainstream. We eat a mostly vegan diet, lean towards unschooling, practice a family bed, follow child-led weaning, live simply, etc., etc., etc. My ideas about what is normal have really wandered away from the beaten path over the last 15 years of parenting.

 

Anyone else find their ideas about family life turning out to be really different than they expected before they had kids, or when the oldest was really small?

[ktgrok]

I expected to nurse my first baby for 6 months, "if I could". He never had formula, and weaned at almost 4 years old, so yes :)

 

And I started out vegetarian and now buy grass fed beef.

 

And I started out much less strict in my parenting views than I am now. I ended up with the kind of child that learns from consequences, rather than rules, so we had to have lots of consequences :(

 

Oh, and I was a pacifist that hated guns, and now I have been encouraging my dh to take ds tothe shooting range soon.

[Melissa in Australia]

I was anti-homeschooling, and have now been homeschooling my kids for 7 years.

[EarleneW]

I nursed my 3rd until almost 3- the other 3 were far more interested in food long before then- However, IMO for me 3 1/2 is way too old to be getting up and nursing at 4am. Mine all slept through the night wayyyy before that. I couldn't cope witht hem all day getting up at that hour bc I wouldn't be able to go back to sleep.

[IsabelC]

I find that, especially with the breastfeeding. I breastfeed, all my friends breastfeed. I see nothing strange about my daughter's 5yo friend breastfeeding. I see no problem with breastfeeding somebody else's child. I totally forget that there are some people who wean their babies before age 2, and even some people who don't breastfeed at all, until it hits me in the face and I remember again :lol:

 

I don't think I have really changed much in basic philosophy and approach. Probably the biggest changes would be in outward appearances. In my pre kids days I would see children and think "Oh, how could that mother let her child go out with gumboots / messy hair / a snotty nose?!". Whereas now, I realize that when it comes to picking battles, appearance isn't actually life-threateningly important. Although I have probably erred too far in the other direction now: yesterday, I took Ms Nearly-2 to story time at the library, and all of a sudden she decided to pull her dress up to her navel and reveal that she had nothing at all on underneath! :blushing:

[Hedgehogs4]

Did anybody read that and think, wow, that's young to stop nursing, lol?

 

I think I must be hopelessly out of the mainstream. We eat a mostly vegan diet, lean towards unschooling, practice a family bed, follow child-led weaning, live simply, etc., etc., etc. My ideas about what is normal have really wandered away from the beaten path over the last 15 years of parenting.

 

Anyone else find their ideas about family life turning out to be really different than they expected before they had kids, or when the oldest was really small?

 

i'm quite the opposite of you in just about everything except the child-led weaning. but yes, my ideas about family life couldn't be more different than i expected.

[Carrie12345]

I haven't flipped QUITE as large a leaf ;), but yeah. I'm a much different parent/person now than I expected, and even than I was when my first child was born.

 

Ds was a scheduled bottle baby with cereal at 3 or 4 months. He slept in a crib in his own room. He wore designer baby clothes, lol. He went to preschool and public K-4th (though my mind changed there at around 2nd grade). I went back to work when he was 6 weeks old, and worked on and off for his first 4 years. He was fully vax'ed (and circ'd. Sorry if that's TMI!)

 

Younger ds was EBF on demand to 10 months and weaned around a year. I had built up to that age over multiple children, so who knows with Number Five?! We cloth diaper (and cloth napking/towel/rags, with natural cleaning products and homemade laundry detergent), garden organically, co-sleep for about a year, selectively vaxinate, no longer circ, I've been sah for 9 years now, and none of my youngers have ever been to school, and I have no plans to send them.

 

We're working on even bigger changes. It definitely feels like a completely different life from when I started out!

 

As to the 3 year comment, nope, I didn't think "That's so young!", but I also didn't think "That's so old!" 12 years ago, I bet it would have been the latter. When younger ds turned 2, I started having A LOT of nursing dreams, so I really think this next one is going to be nursed WELL into toddlerhood!

[Peela]

Yes, my first reaction was....oh, you want to wean him already? Is he ready?

 

I tandem fed mine and they stopped themselves at age 3.5 and 5.

 

Of course....I think a 3.5 year old can be weaned without psychological damage, lol. I am just at the far ther end of the spectrum rather than those who bottle feed from birth by choice.

[laundrycrisis]

I was gung-ho to be career-oriented. I had in my mind all the positives about great daycares, schools, and camps, and a mom keeping herself interested in her career and all the great things kids learn by seeing that. I really believed in it, after DS1 was born I tried so hard to make it work....but it just didn't. Not for him, not for me. He was sick more often than he was healthy and I had no backup at all - no local family, no neighbors or friends who could provide backup childcare - I was constantly pulled between doing what he needed and doing what was required to keep my job - and keep my DH happy, because he was totally opposed to me quitting, even though I could barely keep the job. It was a situation of ridiculous extremes. When I finally quit to stay home, it felt really alien to me for a while...six years later, we have two kids now, plans to homeschool, and no plans for me to return to a paying job. It still feels odd to me at times but it also feels right for our family.

 

Along the way, I ended up nursing one until age 4, one until age 3, cloth diapering, delayed/selective vaxing, and homeschooling. I suppose I took a left turn off my original planned path ;)

Edited July 7, 2010 by laundrycrisis

[cathmom]

yes, I had the same thought!

[LibraryLover]

I am chuckling along at what Peela and some others are saying. My oldest nursed until about 3.5, and I thought that was a long time...and then I had more children and my last nursed longer than that. When I think about my oldest, I think "He was just a baby when he weaned!" lol

 

I currently know a nursling who just turned 3, and she looks like a tiny baby to me...she is still nursing lots. She just seems too young to be weaned. :001_smile: Of course my oldes was just a little older when he weaned, but he seemed so *big* to me back then. lol

[Robin's Song]

In general, the more children I have the more relaxed I get. When I was a younger mother I felt a lot of pressure from family. I was the first person in my family to even breastfeed ;). They put a lot of guilt on me to supplement, crib sleep, cry it out, put them in daycare, etc... Now I don't give my family the option to weigh in on these things. We co-sleep, breastfeed exclusively, and *gasp* I even let my babies nurse to sleep. Now we homeschool so my family has given us up as a lost cause.

 

There are very few things I would judge a mother on now. Feeding and sleeping choices certainly don't raise any eyebrows here.

[babysparkler]

I read that and thought... my 3yo is no where near wanting to wean, so that would be hard! :lol:

[Melora in NC]

Nope. Sounds about right to me. Before I had kids, though, I would have thought that nursing a child that age was "odd." I weaned ds when he turned two because I thought I Had to (I didn't have a computer and didn't know anyone in real life who nursed so long). Dd nursed until she turned three, and she was ready when I weaned her.

[Wheres Toto]

I haven't changed too many of my philosophies about things but my experiences are different. With oldest, I had to return to work when she was 6 weeks old. I did nurse/pump for her until she was about 10 months old and I changed jobs and couldn't keep up with the pumping. I never considered homeschool because it was just so far off the radar at that point.

 

With my younger two, I'm a complete SAHM, homeschooling, both nursed until around 2 years old (ds while I was pregnant with dd). We do some organic/natural (mostly milk, fruits and some cleaning products) and I'm slowly switching to more organic and natural products.

 

I did family bed with all my kids but that was a big change for DH. DH always said no kid of his would sleep in his bed (oldest did sleep with me). Then along came DS, his little buddy, who NEVER slept. This kid literally slept for less than 8 hours a day total as a newborn and that was only if he was being held. The second you would go to put him down in the crib he would sit up screaming. If you tried letting him cry it out, he'd go for hours (we did only try once - that was enough). As he got older, he showed signs of sensory issues so that could've been part of the problem. We discussed it with the pediatrician but DH was a happy, healthy baby growing well so he was just one of those kids who don't need a lot of sleep. DS was about 6 weeks old when DH gave in and let him sleep with us. Now both little kids sleep with us but thankfully we have a super-size King bed.

[stripe]

Homeschooling. I thought it was for weirdos. ;)

[3lilreds in NC]

I read that and thought... my 3yo is no where near wanting to wean, so that would be hard! :lol:

 

This is where I am with Schmooey, too! He is nearly 3 and shows no signs of wanting to wean. In fact, I would say he's shown renewed interest lately. I was gone for a couple of long weekends, and thought he might wean then, but the first thing he asked for when I got home was some "mom-mom." :)

 

I am pretty much the only person, besides the baby, who thinks he should still be nursing. He and I are quite happy about it, though. I tell people that he believes in a lot of stuff that dh and I don't actually agree with, but go along with, like the family bed (he doesn't start out with him but I don't make him go back to his own bed after he comes in with us) and long-term nursing. I don't mind; dh is less amused. But, he's my last baby and I'm not making him wean. Nope, nope, nope.

[Tap]

Anyone else find their ideas about family life turning out to be really different than they expected before they had kids, or when the oldest was really small?

 

I fully expected to be in the corporate world, with a child in full time daycare. I was very, very brand name oriented. Loved the latest/greatest 'learning' toys.

 

Now, I work part time at a minimal experience required job (pharmacy tech) instead.

 

But it affords me the luxury to

homeschool/unschool/student led choices

eat organic/healthy/homegrown when possible

buy second hand as much, if not more than new

discourage but not limit electronic toys for my kids

love the idea of family bed/baby wearing/long term nursing, it just wasn't right for my kids

 

 

 

I am sooooo very, very different than who I started out to be.

[thescrappyhomeschooler]

I was gung-ho to be career-oriented. I had in my mind all the positives about great daycares, schools, and camps, and a mom keeping herself interested in her career and all the great things kids learn by seeing that. I really believed in it, after DS1 was born I tried so hard to make it work....but it just didn't. Not for him, not for me. He was sick more often than he was healthy and I had no backup at all - no local family, no neighbors or friends who could provide backup childcare - I was constantly pulled between doing what he needed and doing what was required to keep my job - and keep my DH happy, because he was totally opposed to me quitting, even though I could barely keep the job. It was a situation of ridiculous extremes. When I finally quit to stay home, it felt really alien to me for a while...six years later, we have two kids now, plans to homeschool, and no plans for me to return to a paying job. It still feels odd to me at times but it also feels right for our family.

 

Along the way, I ended up nursing one until age 4, one until age 3, cloth diapering, delayed/selective vaxing, and homeschooling. I suppose I took a left turn off my original planned path ;)

 

 

I feel very similar to this. I thought I'd be a working mom with kids in school, but after the kids actually came, my heart told me something different. About bf, I personally think that I would feel weird with a kid over 2 still breastfeeding- just for myself. I don't care what other people do. It doesn't bother me if other people want to nurse their kids for several years. But, it wouldn't strike me as too young for a 3 yr. old to stop nursing.

[Rosie_0801]

I didn't think I'd be weaning my boy so early (15 months) but my boobies insisted. He doesn't mind, thankfully. Dd, on the other hand, would still be nursing if that had been an option. She still clambers up onto my lap to pretend :)

 

Rosie

[LaissezFaire]

I also thought the same. There is nothing cuter than a little one who cuddles up beside you and says "I think I want some nurse!"

[flobee76]

Thank you for posting this. My nearly 3 yr old is still nursing, just once a day, but i am letting him tell me when he is ready. He gave up bedtime nursing, and now just has the naptime nursing session. I am nursing TWO babies!!!! :D

 

I started out slightly crunchy with our first, and progressively became crunchier and crunchier as the years went by.

 

We shop locally, farmer's markets, grass-fed beef, poultry, wild seafood, try to follow traditional foods, etc. We even have chickens and lots of veggies grown from heirloom seeds.

 

It's nice to be going against the mainstream. :)

[Macrina]

We're no where we thought we'd be when we got married. Homebirthed my third, nursing my 3 year old, not using paper products (even cloth TP), eat only local grass fed meat products, homeschooling, homesteading, even being eastern orthodox is against mainstream here. But we live in a small diverse town where 5% of children in the district are homeschooled and a lot of families do a lot of the stuff we are doing. What I am trying to say is I'm not the only one who puts the baby turkeys down my bra to warm up when they almost drown themselves in a rain storm.

[Mommee & Baba]

Yes! How I parent is completely NOTHING like I thought I would be!!

 

For starters I didn't think I'd ever be blessed with children. And now I have 3 amazing children! AND let's not forget one AMAZING man that is literally the love of my life! :)

 

I never thought I'd ever breastfeed! And I have done it for all three of our children, even some until they were 3 years old! and was PROUD of it! and still am! :D Can't cha tell!?? hehe

 

I never thought I'd ever bake. I now bake once a week if not more and I make nearly all things from scratch...YES including cakes, pancakes and cookies! No prepackaged mixes or anything!

 

I never thought I'd be as attached with our children as dh and I both are. We co-sleep and we wear our babies/children. We homeschool, which I never in a MILLION years thought I'd EVER consider! And now hopelessly LOVE it!

 

And for the BIGGEST shocker of all. I never thought I'd cloth diaper! :001_huh: and we do and have for 2 of our children! One from potty training til she was trained completely and the other from birth to potty training! :)

 

So yes I never imagined I'd be this kind of mother. Simply put..I'm a mother that I wish I had growing up!

[IsabelC]

I'm not the only one who puts the baby turkeys down my bra to warm up when they almost drown themselves in a rain storm.

:lol:

[naturegirl7]

Actually I thought - Wow what a lucky babe!

 

Around here BFing is so not the norm. Most moms don't bother trying and are lucky to make it to 6 months. Even in my AP moms group/playgroup 2 seems to be the magic age for "encouraging" weaning - which saddens me. They are still such babies at 2. I can't imagine stopping so young. Even from the beginning "atleast 2" was my goal - although I did figure he'd be done by 3 - mainly cuz I just didn't know anyone who even nursed to 2 yo!

 

We have had a few that do child led weaning. One friend celebrated her DCs 5th bday with the end of nursing (and tandem nursed the last 2 years of it!). My son was 2 months shy of 5 when he decided he was done - he wanted a little brother more than mama milk apparently LOL He has serious food allergies and I could not even think of getting pregnant while on his diet - especially for fear it would cause him to wean before he was truly ready.

 

I cherish the memories of him as a teeny tiny babe nursing - but I really cherish those wonderful snuggly toddler (and preschooler!) nursing memories.

 

 

I always knew I would BF, CD, and do organic foods for baby. I learned so much while I was preggo that keeping him intact and not vaxing were logical choices. We fell into cosleeping and babywearing. I was totally against HSing until the last few year - the experience I had with a HSing church group in high school gave me a scary impression of HSing - but here in FL there are so many great HSers - totally changed my POV. I love the new open mindset!

Edited July 8, 2010 by naturegirl7

[LibraryLover]

I don't live simply, however. A bunch of kids and animals and a couple of acres took care of that. ;)

 

And yes, as I said in another thread, 3 seems much too young to be weaned, although two of mine were just a few months over 3 when they did.

Edited July 14, 2010 by LibraryLover

[naturegirl7]

This is where I am with Schmooey, too! He is nearly 3 and shows no signs of wanting to wean. In fact, I would say he's shown renewed interest lately. I was gone for a couple of long weekends, and thought he might wean then, but the first thing he asked for when I got home was some "mom-mom." :)

 

 

 

Love it! My son would run to the door screaming "Daddddddy!" when Dh came home from work. When I came home from work, he'd get an even bigger smile on his face and run screaming "Mama Miiiiilllllllk!" :lol:

[tabrizia]

I read that and thought... my 3yo is no where near wanting to wean, so that would be hard! :lol:

 

 

This is where I am with Schmooey, too! He is nearly 3 and shows no signs of wanting to wean. In fact, I would say he's shown renewed interest lately. I was gone for a couple of long weekends, and thought he might wean then, but the first thing he asked for when I got home was some "mom-mom." :)

 

I am pretty much the only person, besides the baby, who thinks he should still be nursing. He and I are quite happy about it, though. I tell people that he believes in a lot of stuff that dh and I don't actually agree with, but go along with, like the family bed (he doesn't start out with him but I don't make him go back to his own bed after he comes in with us) and long-term nursing. I don't mind; dh is less amused. But, he's my last baby and I'm not making him wean. Nope, nope, nope.

 

I'm here with my 3 year old as well. He just isn't ready and no one outside of me, him and DH really understands that. I went away for 4 days and as soon as I got back he wanted to nurse. I have limited him a bit though since I am tandeming and him nursing 15 times a day was too much for me, so he can only nurse in the morning and at night, but he is no where near ready to wean.

 

I never thought I would be nursing a 3 year old and a 15 month old at the same time. I actually never thought I would be nursing past 12 months. I figured I'd nurse till the were 1 and wean, since that is what you do right? Turns out nope that isn't what I do. Of course I also figured he would be in a crib and our crib has never been used.