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my mom died a year ago today

Denisemomof4
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Denisemomof4

Denisemomof4

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somehow I didn't think I could make it though this day without getting emotional but I did fine. I still have moments, though, when I get all sad and weepy.

 

I have three cute stories to share about her.

 

When my dad was taken to the hospital we made the decision to hire a medical service to bring her to the hospital to see him. She had late stage/end stage dementia. At the time we didn't know Dad was dying, and had NO IDEA his chest cavity was filled with cancer. Anyway, I'm so glad we decided to bring her in to see him. He was so happy to have her by his side. He simply existed to make her happy and other than my dh, I've never really seen a man love a woman as much as he loved my mother. They met in the 4th grade, married right out of high school, and were married over 45 years. They obviously never dated anyone else. They sat in the hospital ICU holding hands, looking so sweet and happy. Mom sat in her wheel chair eating Goldfish and other things the entire time. Dad just watched her, so happy and content to have his wife, the love of his life, at his side. The nurses kept looking over at them and smiling, commenting on how CUTE they were together. When the time came for Mom to go back to her assisted living facility, she pulled her hand away from my father and asked, "Are you my mother?" :o Those were her last words ever spoken to him. He tried to explain that he was her husband (and he had a beard!) but it didn't register with her. Still, it was such a cute moment.

 

I remember having the courage to tell my mother what she meant to me, to tell her how much I loved her, to tell her it was ok to go. Dad would be waiting for her. We'd all miss her but would see her again, etc. It was a beautiful and touching moment. I was a complete mess, blubbering non stop. I told my mother everything I wanted her to know before she slipped into her final state of unconsciousness. It was hard to do but so important to me. Finally I could see her mustering up the strength to tell me something. I sat there waiting, knowing these would be her final words to me. What did she say? "Shut up." :svengo:

:lol: I could cry and let it damage me for the rest of my life but I know my mother wouldn't want me to. Besides, I learned to take a LOT of abuse from her those final months. It was her disease and I didn't take it personally.

 

I have this duck named Guido. I wish I could download a picture of him but I lost the cord to my camera! Anyway, he sits on my deck EVERY SINGLE DAY and watches us inside the house. If he wants attention he'll tap at the window. ;) I LOVE THAT DUCK, and so did my mother! She would eat with him every day, separated only by the glass in the slider. On rainy days she'd tell me to "let the poor thing inside!" She knew his name and said it frequently. She LOVED that duck and that duck loved her. One day she looked out at the duck and exclaimed, "What a HUGE turkey! I'm going to stuff him and I'm going to eat him!" I laughed SO HARD. The duck goes back to the barn every night, returning to our deck in the morning. I'm CONSTANTLY hosing down the deck. Ducks are MESSY but I just adore him. I'm up late all the time, that duck stays at the barn all night. Anyway, on the night mom died, just after midnight, Guido appeared at the front of the house and sat right beneath my mom's window. O know he knew my mother had died. He stayed there until the sun came up and then didn't come back to the house for weeks. Even then, he didn't come back frequently. Finally, this past May, or around then, Guido started to make his daily trips again.

 

I miss her but I'm glad she's not suffering. And I'm glad she's with my Dad.

:Angel_anim::Angel_anim:

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