S/O Learning to swim

[athena1277]

I know it's no longer the socially acceptable way to teach a kid to swim, but has anyone actually tried the old way of throwing the kid in and letting them learn really quick? Did it work? I know my 7yo dd could learn to swim - if she would try. I'm so tempted to try the old way. Of course I wouldn't really because I don't have the strength to do it.

[Mom2J112903]

This is kinda how J taught *himself* to swim, it worked :) He wanted to do xyz and just did it one day.

 

I learned to swim this way, so did my sister and DH. FWIW, I just turned 30 last week.

[KristenS]

I expect if the child had been around lots of other swimming folks and had absorbed the idea that swimming was a perfectly normal life activity, it might work.

 

I, personally, would've died if someone did that to me.:)

[Jennifer in MI]

I know it's no longer the socially acceptable way to teach a kid to swim, but has anyone actually tried the old way of throwing the kid in and letting them learn really quick? Did it work? I know my 7yo dd could learn to swim - if she would try. I'm so tempted to try the old way. Of course I wouldn't really because I don't have the strength to do it.

 

i haven't tried that and don't think I could! But, what about having your dd's friends over so she could see them swimming? It was peer pressure that made my then-7 yo decide to try it. And, he was swimming quite well within a couple days.

[hana]

I am terrified of water because of a similar experience.

[Niffercoo]

I know it's no longer the socially acceptable way to teach a kid to swim, but has anyone actually tried the old way of throwing the kid in and letting them learn really quick? Did it work? I know my 7yo dd could learn to swim - if she would try. I'm so tempted to try the old way. Of course I wouldn't really because I don't have the strength to do it.

 

 

Absolutely not. Both my mother (in her late 50s) and my BFF (in her late 30s) are terrified of the water because of that method. Absolutely, positively, 100% not.

 

I have a child who was afraid of the water. It took an entire summer of patient water play and encouragement to get her to learn to swim, but she did. Two years later, and she is a little fishie, jumping off the diving board and everything. And she has the memories of her mama encouraging her and loving her into a new skill. And now she knows that she is strong enough to do something that once scared her.

[Kim in Appalachia]

I would not throw a kid in without letting the child know I, or someone else, was there to help.

 

I posted in the other thread, and while what I posted seemed harsh to some, I would never recommend letting a child feel like he had to sink or swim. It could work with some kids, but some it would terrify.

 

In the swim program no child is left to feel alone or like he could sink. When teaching younger ones the first thing that is taught is how to get them to turn onto their backs and float. The instructor will lay under the child so he feels safe. If the child doesn't relax he will panic and sink.

[Danestress]

I would do that under no circumstances ever. However, my uncle did it to my cousin. We were all appalled. My parents talked about it for years. They were horrified.

 

Said cousin became quite a swimmer - went to a good college on a swim scholarship, coached swimming for a period of time, and incidentally was a beautiful diver as well. It's so ironic. If anything, it shows that sometimes, despite all efforts, people can't ruin their children even when they try:)

 

But I still think it was a moronic thing for my Uncle to do.

[Parrothead]

No experience with that. I think it is cruel.

 

There is a big difference between "You will learn to swim this year whether you like it or not." and throwing a kid into the deep end with no idea of what to do.

 

Remember if they sink far enough they could get caught in the drain.

[sassenach]

No, I would not go that route.

 

We did infant swim with my 2 youngest. It was the best thing we ever did. Yes, there was crying in the beginning, but in no time at all they knew how to flip onto their backs. It's amazing how proficient a kid can get at swimming when they are confident that no matter what, they will be able to flip onto their backs and breathe. I think that in order to really become a good swimmer, the child has to know that they can take the risk of trying without drowning. For an older child, I think that means having an adult right there with them and throwing the floaties out.

[sassenach]

No experience with that. I think it is cruel.

 

There is a big difference between "You will learn to swim this year whether you like it or not." and throwing a kid into the deep end with no idea of what to do.

 

Remember if they sink far enough they could get caught in the drain.

 

I agree. The drain info only applies to really old pools. Codes have been in place for decades to protect agains drain entrapment.

[myfunnybunch]

My ds (7) would never go near the water again. Ever.

 

He tends to be anxious and has nightmares about water. He went on a water strike this year. I knew he'd learn to swim if he'd just try.

 

I signed him up for the last session of swim lessons and told him that he had to learn to swim so he could be safe around water. Thank goodness that worked. I honestly don't know what I'd have done if he'd asked, "Or what?" Bet I'd have thought of something, though. ;) He had a lovely instructor and was the only child in the class and now he can swim.

 

LOL, and I just remembered his oldest sister, who at 7 still wouldn't put her head underwater. She'd built it up in her head so much that she psyched herself out and couldn't do it. So I left her alone completely about swimming for a whole year, until she was 8. Then I bribed her. It cost me $5 ($1 a head bob), and she was suddenly a swimmer, she was that ready.

 

Sometimes we just have to wait until the child is ready and give them a nudge. (But not push them off the cliff, kwim? :) )

 

Cat

[athena1277]

Thanks for all the replies. There are some good things to think about and try with my dd. The pool where we live is huge, but the whole thing is only 3.5 feet deep everywhere. I think my goal this year will be to get her to realize that she can, in fact, leave the steps. She is tall and could easily walk about in the water without her head going under.

[Rosy]

No way would I *ever* do that.

 

My son had a major fear of the water. He's not a great swimmer yet, but he can swim about 10 yards with decent technique (no side breathing yet). 9 months ago, he wouldn't put his face in the water, wouldn't lie on his back with someone holding him, refused to jump in the pool to a waiting adult, no matter what we bribed him with.

 

What made the difference with him was a few things. We got a YMCA membership and started going to the pool 3-4 times a week. He wore a life jacket in the 4' deep pool and spent a lot of time in the adjustable depth pool (usually 2' or 3'). We got him goggles--that helped a LOT. We did swim lessons at his level. We bribed him with a trip to Great Wolf Lodge when he was swimming comfortably. That was a huge motivator for him. We did swim lessons at his level. He did the same level 3 times and still didn't pass, but he went from total fear and discomfort to being able to swim a little.

 

Now to get him from there to swimming comfortably, we're doing private lessons. At $30 for half an hour, it is more than the $44/8 lessons we were paying, but he gets one on one attention with the instructor he works best with, and he makes much faster and more complete progress than in a class. We've only done it once so far, but this summer I think we're going to do a cluster of lessons--6 in two weeks--and practice in between so he can really get it.

 

He loves swimming now. He goes down the water slide with no fear at all into water over his head. He also wants to be on the swim team. :)

[redheadeddaughter]

I don't think it's that bad. I would never personally do it... but my dad taught us to swim that way and he was a lifeguard for years. It wasn't being cruel. In his mind, learning how to swim could save us from drowning... so the benefits far outweighed any temp. fear or frustration. Again... not something I could do with my kids. But I did (can't believe I'm admitting this) think about asking my dad to do it for me. ( Be the bad guy) My oldest just did not "get" the swimming thing. I took him to 2 summers worth of lessons, but we didn't have a pool of our own or any friends with pools... and going to hotels was getting very expensive. So I considered it. Because we live in Cali and just going to the beach or a friends house puts them in a position where they really really need to be swimming for 1) safety and 2) peer acceptance!

Thankfully, we have friends now who have us over and that little bit of pool time has given him the confidence he needed. But without that... well, I might have resorted to this method.

[rookie]

We had to. One of our dds would not even try. She would allow herself to sink to the bottom of the pool and wait for us to pick her out. We sent her to swimming classes and the coach said after a month: "She has motion issues. She refuses to move!" We kept trying all kinds of incentives/classes/explanations, etc. And bupkas! Now, you have to understand that we live in an area where you must be able to swim. Drownings are the main reason for kids dying around here. So, I forewarned her that we would be using a friend's pool to learn the old-fashioned way. She would be swimming across the pool that very day. THe only way she would not be swimming across the pool would be if she had swallowed all of the water in the pool. I would not be pulling her out. SHe would have to prove survival swim skills - JUST GET TO THE BLOODY WALL! - and then we would leave her alone. DH and I were there and we tossed her in (we were of course ready to rescue her but did not let her know that) and guess what....... she swam to the wall the first time all by herself. She was 7 years old and we had been trying every other method since she was 3. My other dcs all learned the easy way.

[2cents]

When I was learning to swim my teacher crept up behind me when I was trying to jump off the low board and pushed me in. I have had a fear of diving boards ever since. I think throwing a child in can create big trust issues. I wouldn't do that.

[PinkInTheBlue]

Since my husband, mother, Daddy's wife and mother-in-law all say they "can't swim" I would say that at some point something radical needs to be done. I defintely don't encourage throwing them in but if nothing seems to have worked and they are getting much older (what this is, I don't know), they MUST learn how to swim. I think it's outrageously dangerous to not at least be able to save yourself in what should be a relatively simple situation.

[StartingOver]

It's the way my siblings, I, and all of my older children learned to swim ( different father ).

 

My husband still doesn't know how at 51, from a near death experience, in this fashion. My son takes to water like a duck, and is very close to swimming. My daughter isn't even close yet. But I have just had them in water tons !! No sink or swim for them, their father would die of a heart attack on the spot, I am sure.

Edited June 17, 2010 by alatexan68

[oldskool]

We got our kids swimming by bringing them to the pool almost everyday for an entire summer. This and the the peer pressure of wanting to swim with their friends is what did it. We only enrolled them in swim lessons once they became used to the water and felt very comfortable going underwater. With our older DD I felt we wasted a lot of time and money in swim lessons trying to get her over her fears of just putting her face in. As to the point of throwing the kids in the pool, I think it depends on the kid. I think all of mine would have lost a lot of trust in me as a parent if I did that. I grew up with a constant fear of being "dunked" in the water (thanks to two older brothers) and I would think that if someone had thrown me in I would have developed a fear of that as well. Water can be a very frightening thing and IMO has the tendency to make people feel vulnerable.

 

Lesley

[NanceXToo]

Absolutely not. That's cruel and completely disrespectful of a child's feelings and rights, not to mention quite likely to set them up for a lifetime of fear that otherwise would likely have only been temporary.

[rookie]

Absolutely not. That's cruel and completely disrespectful of a child's feelings and rights, not to mention quite likely to set them up for a lifetime of fear that otherwise would likely have only been temporary.

 

 

Sorry, but I disagree. Kids drown. Kids with adults around supervising drown. THAT is a problem. Once a kid knows how to swim, and feels confident in the water, the way they learned is long lost. My sibs and I were all taught the old-fashioned way - at the beach no less - and while we can remember being scared then, we are all avid and happy swimmers. My dd who would not learn the pleasant way and had to be tossed in LOVES to swim and laughs at the whole episode.

 

If you live nowhere near water (with zero chance of drowning) OR if you have dc who are willing and learn how to swim (so that they are safe) - great. That's lovely. BUT if you live with the potential for a drowning and allow your kid to refuse to learn how to at least swim to the wall, you are not doing them any favors by indulging them and not at least trying the old-fashioned but sure-fire way.

[Nakia]

I don't know if it ever works or not, but I do know I would NEVER try it with my children.

[Nakia]

Sorry, but I disagree. Kids drown. Kids with adults around supervising drown. THAT is a problem. Once a kid knows how to swim, and feels confident in the water, the way they learned is long lost. My sibs and I were all taught the old-fashioned way - at the beach no less - and while we can remember being scared then, we are all avid and happy swimmers. My dd who would not learn the pleasant way and had to be tossed in LOVES to swim and laughs at the whole episode.

 

If you live nowhere near water (with zero chance of drowning) OR if you have dc who are willing and learn how to swim (so that they are safe) - great. That's lovely. BUT if you live with the potential for a drowning and allow your kid to refuse to learn how to at least swim to the wall, you are not doing them any favors by indulging them and not at least trying the old-fashioned but sure-fire way.

 

I don't know, I tend to think your dd might be the exception. I can see it really scarring a child and making them forever fearful of water. As a matter of fact, many people on the other thread have had that very experience. Wouldn't it be better to just give them some time to learn not to be fearful?

[Teachin'Mine]

i haven't tried that and don't think I could! But, what about having your dd's friends over so she could see them swimming? It was peer pressure that made my then-7 yo decide to try it. And, he was swimming quite well within a couple days.

 

 

:iagree: Seeing friends swimming is great motivation. Try to just get them together and let it happen. :) I'm definitely not a fan of the sink or swim method. I remember going to the Y with my brother and all of them screaming like they were being murdered. :tongue_smilie:

 

Swimming under water is usually easier for them than trying to stay on top. You might get some things - even pennies or nickles work - for them to pick up off the bottom of the pool.

[NanceXToo]

Well, some of us will just have to agree to disagree.

 

My feeling is that I don't need to toss my children out into the middle of traffic to teach them about street safety, I don't need to toss them into a burning building to teach them about fire safety, and I don't need to toss them out into the middle of deep water terrified and against their will to teach them about water safety. It just is not and never will be a necessary or humane thing to do in my opinion.

 

Instead, I would talk to my children about the importance of water safety, I would monitor them very closely when they were around water, I would take whatever precautions I needed to take to ensure their safety without compromising their sense of security, and I would respect their right to overcome a fear in their own time and their own way.

 

I also agree with Nakia that your child (rookie) is probably the exception rather than the rule. Kids forced into facing fears they are just not emotionally ready to face can be affected for life by that. Seriously. They may never overcome a fear if you (general you) do something like that to them, and I believe it could affect their trust in you (general you), as well.

[GoVanGogh]

That is what they did to my DH 40-some years ago.

He still is terrified of the water. He did try private swim lessons a few years ago, but still could not put his face in the water or go in past his hips.

 

Because of my husband's issues around water, it is very important to me that our son know how to swim. We started our son in lessons around age 4 and have continued on. DS didn't learn to swim or to be comfortable in the water until ~3 years of lessons! We spent a pretty penny on lessons, plus an insane amount of time. But it was well worth it!

[Mommyof4ks]

At 7 no way, that would be very scary. I was taught that way when I was a year old and I don't remember it. I have been swimming every since. That is not the way my kids learned, because we don't have a pool and people would not be able to mind their own business at a public pool. As a result my boys don't know how to swim, and my dd was 8 before she learned. *sigh* Thankfully they have never fallen in accidentally or they would be done for.

[Joker]

I wouldn't try it with my dds, but that is how I learned to swim. When I was about 6 a family friend tossed me into the pool and I learned pretty fast. It didn't scar me and I was happy to finally be able to swim.

 

I wouldn't do it though because I would worry they wouldn't trust me anymore after that.

[nmoira]

I have two friends who *never* go near the water because as a child a parent thought this would be a good way to teach them how to swim.

[Renee in NC]

I don't know, I tend to think your dd might be the exception. I can see it really scarring a child and making them forever fearful of water. As a matter of fact, many people on the other thread have had that very experience. Wouldn't it be better to just give them some time to learn not to be fearful?

 

I also told my dd (6) that I could not let her not know how to swim anymore. The reason she is so fearful of the water is that the dog knocked her into the pool - no one noticed right away until my then 6yo (now 7) jumped in and pulled her to the side.

 

I was not willing to do the "sink or swim" method (though my father did it with me with no lasting effects.) I did, however, drag her into the pool while she screamed at the top of her lungs. I told her that I could not responsibly allow her not to swim anymore because it was just too dangerous. I made her stand up in the shallow end and then made her swim around with me.

 

She *will* learn to at least survival swim this year. It's too dangerous not to.

[Gratia271]

I know it's no longer the socially acceptable way to teach a kid to swim, but has anyone actually tried the old way of throwing the kid in and letting them learn really quick? Did it work? I know my 7yo dd could learn to swim - if she would try. I'm so tempted to try the old way. Of course I wouldn't really because I don't have the strength to do it.

 

I have not read the other posts, but this was tried with me. I abhor water. I was five years old, and I remember it vividly to this day. It was terrifying. When I reached the juncture at which I needed to decide with my children, my son in particular was reticent about the water. "Friends" advised me to tell him to get over it and to hand him over to the instructor... NO WAY! (My words were somewhat more colorful than that. ;)) In any case, I would never subject a child to that. They deserve our respect after all.

[IsabelC]

I don't know about that. I think it may work, but personally I don't view learning to swim immediately as important enough to damage the kids' trust in me like that. I know it's becomeing popular to push babies underwater at about 5 months of age, but I wouldn't do that, and I also haven't seen any evidence that this leads to better / more confident swimmers later on, unless you kept it up regularly the whole time.

 

I have heard of kids teaching themselves in an unschooling kind of way though, so it's certainly not necessary to have formal lessons. In island societies where swimming is more central to everyday life, kids would learn to swim the same way they learn to walk. Even in Australia when I was growing up, swimming was less formalized: lessons were mainly for children who had difficulties with swimming, rather than a standard thing for everyone. I could swim before I did any lessons, and so could a lot of other children.

[MamaT]

I just don't think there is any situation where traumatizing a child like that is okay. There are other ways to gradually and gently make sure kids are not fearful of the water so that they can learn to swim. We had an in-ground pool when my dc were small, and I just spent lots of time with them in the water. They all learned to swim before they were 4yo. If I had an older child that did not know how to swim, I would spend lots of fun time in the water with them so that they were not afraid, and then teach them to swim once they were comfortable.

[Momling]

I know it's no longer the socially acceptable way to teach a kid to swim...

 

Actually, it's had a resurgence with ISR infant 'survival' lessons. I'm sure there's a place for this method with some families in some situations, *but* it's not something I'd be willing to have my kids do. I've watched a number of these lessons with different instructors and different kids (while waiting for my own kids to finish their regular lessons)... the ISR lessons were pretty intense and unpleasant and involved terrified, screaming babies and young kids being dunked into the pool in various ways.