Private School Experiences

[novagirl]

I know people on these boards have pulled their children out of public schools. Are there any here who have pulled their children out of private christian schools---even if they were small schools and would you mind sharing why?

 

We have an option this year of sending DD6 who is ahead in most subjects but really don't believe the school when they say they will put the child in the older classes for certain subjects. We've talked with parents who went there and "that's what they say...not what they do". I'm really torn on what to do because academics at home are wonderful but we live so far out of town that it's not possible for DD to be in many extra curriculars. I'm thinking if we put her in school just for the social aspects we are going to be in trouble with bad behaviors or other problems. Don't know they will happen but from reading stuff on these boards and other homeschooling boards, I'm thinkin' they could. MY DD is just so social, much moreso than I. She'd chose to go to school but you know, I'm the Mom and my husband is leaving the decision totally up to me. Sorry, I'm rambling, I hope this makes sense.

Thanks!

[May]

I pulled our dd after the 3nd grade from a small Christian school. In fact, in 4th grade, there were only 11 kids signed up for the class. I pulled her because I had subbed many times for the 4th grade teacher and I felt she would not have challenged my dd. Do what you know is the right decision for your daughter.

[Catherine]

Eek. It was horrible. Far worse than ps was, for us.

[LauraGB]

Well, yes.

 

One thing to be aware of is whether or not you completely agree with everything they will teach about your religion. Also, are you comfortable with them learning "only" that aspect of religion as a whole? I thought I was okay with running interference at home...

 

Another thing to consider - at least for us, locally, the private Christian schools teach the children of the parents who have $. Having $ or not is agreeably arbitrary, but only until a kid reaches a certain age. Our local private Christian high schools are more rampant with drugs than our public counterpart. Why? Because the kids have the $ to buy it. I would hope not all private schools are like this, but ours is. (I've heard both from the parents of the kids, and the kids themselves.)

[Denisemomof4]

my oldest ds was in a church setting for kindergarten, and private Christian school for first grade. During that time, he learned about *ral s*x, alcoholism, infidelity, domestic abuse. He also was bullied by his teacher, and had to learn all about her wedding plans. Although the private school had clear rules for bullying, they overlooked ds's bruises and those of his friends. ALL the bullying was by the same kids, and when I told ds to tell the teachers, he told me they called him a tattler.

 

But when pipe bombs were found int he library a block away and all the buildings were shut down but his school, I was D-O-N-E. I was the ONLY parent to keep my child out of school that week. He never returned.

 

I remember being shocked that ALL the work he completed in a 6 hour day at school took 45 minutes. :001_huh: I called the school and they explained bathroom breaks, recess, etc. :confused::confused::confused:

[Denisemomof4]

one other thing to consider in your decision. Kids kicked out of the publicschool system are placed in private school.

 

I was shocked to get such a GREAT school experience in our small town public school. The kids were managed better than in private school, and the teachers and principal were far stricter. It was, by far, my best experience.

[Chrystal]

We pulled from a private school.

Our reason for being there was strictly academic, but it seemed like everyone else there was in it for the football. And it was a small "Christian" school. There were several incidents that involved drinking at school (by athletes who were then not punished) and drug use (again by the athletes, but they still played football:confused:) The last year we were there I must have gotten called at work 8 times to tell me that school was canceled that afternoon for some sports related thing or another.

One of the last straws was when my daughter was moved from a core class to PE because the boys needed to work out together (lift weights) to help with team building for the following year. ARGHHH!

My daughter hated it.

The sad thing is that they have gotten a blue ribbon for academic excellence from the accrediting agency for the last 6 years. My kids were getting a subpar education and the school was being rewarded. A lot of the kids who graduated and went to college were having to take remedial classes to catch up with thier public school peers. Sad state of affairs.

I really thought I was doing something good for my children by putting them in an award-winning school and in the end was extrememly disappointed.

[MariannNOVA]

We did not enroll our three children in the wonderful Classical Christian private school (very rigorous academically) that they had been attending for the 2009-10 school year. At first, we were all quite sad about it - the kids had great friends, and the things about the school that we weren't thrilled about (and we truly were happy with the school) weren't big things. We were honest with everyone who asked as to why we weren't returning: the economy seemed somewhat 'iffy,' and we were not comfortable committing to tuition for three children; homeschooling meant that I did not have to return as a classroom teacher at another Christian school and I was frankly tired of the wear and tear on me; DH's travel schedule was going to ramp up which would leave me as a full-time teacher shouldering all of the driving from one end of the county to the other when he was away; lastly, I saw a pattern in the kids' school of totally inexperienced young women right out of college being hired exclusively - young women with no experience or knowledge of classical methodology. They would teach for a year or two, get married or arrive newly married, become pregnant, and leave. Grades would be scrambling for substitute teachers or new hires at various times throughout the school year. Our twins were on a track to have a new teacher every single year up to 7th grade -- they would be entering third grade - and I was right. Every grade that I predicted one year ago would have the teacher announce a pregnancy, did, and there have been substitutes and more substitutes until the final replacement is hired. I just didn't want my kids facing a newly hired, inexperienced teacher every single September.

 

Socially, we have kept in touch with some families and totally lost touch with others - proximity has nothing to do with friendship so I imagine that the one or two families that we have kept in touch with are truly families with whom we are friends.

 

Our kids go to Sunday School, choir, and play sports in the fall and spring -- they make friends that way, but I don't encourage play dates on any sort of regular basis. We are too busy and so is everyone else.

 

I do wonder as dd11 gets just a little bit older how I will handle this, but so far, I do not have an answer.

 

Reading your post, I would have to say, if it isn't broke, don't fix it. I'm sure that isn't much help.

 

One more thing - I tend not to put too much stock into administrators who say they will put your child in older classes for certain subjects. I've been a classroom teacher for 15+ years -- I've seen it done once.

[Ellie]

I took my dd out of a Christian school during Easter break of first grade because the poor thing was just burned out; it was an all-ABeka school:ack2: and although she was doing well academically (I never had to work with her at all on her reading skills) the pressure to do the work, plus the uber-discipline (no talking in the bathrooms, for example) I guess was just too much for her little psyche. It was a year and a half before I felt she was really back to her normal self.

[TravelingChris]

We left a private Christian school after first grade. Originally, the reason was that while there were three first grade rooms, there were only two second grade rooms and since we were moving before Dec, we didn't want to take a space of another kid. What I quickly realized was that the all ABEKA curriculum and the very structured school was too much for my son. His behavior at home greatly improved with homeschooling since he was less stressed.

[LibraryLover]

We had always considered hsing our children , but we loved our private (not religious) school. We left the private school with some sadness, but have never regretted it. We wanted more freedom, and decided after a time that there were better ways to spend all that money. We try to find ways to be with those lovely folks from our past, and they have been a tremendous support in out hsing journey. Two of our children did graduate from this school (one after a period of hsing), and we feel good about their time there.

Edited April 26, 2010 by LibraryLover

[Chris in VA]

OP, are you in Northern VA? If you are and would like to pm me, I may know the school you are talking about--not that my knowledge is THAT extensive, I just have a ton of contacts...:D

 

I almost put dd in a private school a little ways from here, but decided I felt better with her at home, as she did. There are pluses and minuses to any school situation, of course, and I don't think public or private makes a diff for some of the minuses. It's still groups of young children together for extensive periods of time--as peer culture becomes more attractive to young tweens and teens, I just see it important to keep home ed options open. Not so much to control the peer group as to strengthen the child to meet the challenges the peers offer. I believe in a little more practice doing so before I throw my child to the wolves...oops, I mean the peers.

[novagirl]

Thank you for all replies so far. Nope not in Virginia---we're in N.E. Wisconsin!

[juelle]

We pulled dd12 and ds9 from a very small private school where the teachers were all Christians, but it was a 'non-sectarian' school. Socially, it was uncomfortably intense for dd because of the small class size. No specific problem, just distractions from her academics. She didn't enjoy the teacher's style or manner, either, and since there was no alternative, and no break from him, that became very counter-productive.

 

When there were specific problems with anyone, everyone knew all about it. I've found the ps to be much less gossipy.:001_smile:

 

The decision was finally made because we didn't want to pay for 3 there, but the overall experience made us less than heart-broken to leave.

[Alphabetika]

Oldest dd went to one year public, one year private Christian, then we pulled her. Reasons: It was too high-maintenance (and not fair to the teacher) to try to get them to work with her academic skills, which in most areas were ahead; she complained daily, "They never let me be alone, and I don't get to use my imagination;" the discpline structure was intense and complicated; the first grade room was in the basement so there was no natural light or fresh air; she was socially overstimulated by being literally shoulder-to-shoulder with peers all day; they had weird rules about when you could use the bathroom, which I found degrading; we were seeing a total breakdown of her relationship with her sister and discipline problems with us which would disappear when she was on break; I could go on and on. They tried their best to work with us but in the end we had to admit what we'd known all along - our hearts were for homeschooling and she would be better off here. Ten years later, here we are. Plus two more girls who will, Lord willing, never go through what the oldest did. :)

[elise1mds]

I pulled DS from a small private school. I thought a small school would be a good fit for him since I intuitively knew public school would be hell on earth for him, but I was still wrong. He just needs to be away from people altogether. He is Sheldon from Big Bang Theory, just younger.

[novagirl]

Thank you everyone, this has been a great help to me. :)

[EarleneW]

I have to be the odd ball and say we LOVE our school- On that note though, we are considering pulling the 2 youngest next year to homeschool again since we sold our business and I am home again full time. Since I am not working, it will be financially a little harder with all of them there- so we may pull the younger 2 and see how it goes at home again- though they will probably be back there in the next few years too.

[KRG]

My son went to a private Classical Christian school from K-4th. It was one of the worst mistakes I think I have ever made as a parent. I wish I would have started homeschooling from the beginning.

 

I also worked at this school so I knew a lot of background info that most parents did not know.

 

Money talks--a blind eye and a deaf ear was turned to any discipline problem when the family had money.

 

Just because it was a Christian school didn't mean everyone there (staff included) had a Christ-like attitude.

 

Yes, many public school students with serious problems were enrolled if their parents provided the money.

 

Yes, there were drugs, alcohol and sex going on.

 

Athletics became the priority.

 

By the time we left it had basically become a school with a Bible class thrown in. We have been gone for a couple of years and have watched their problems become bigger and bigger.

[FaithManor]

We pulled dd out of private school when the 7th grade teacher turned out to be completely incompetant (literally the only weak link in this school). He also showed signs of emotional problems and the day that I witnessed him repeatedly running his fingers through the hair of another girl in class "because its silky smoothness made him feel calm" (his words NOT mine), we yanked her. I was already homeschooling ds because of health issues.

 

This was the school I had previously taught music and science labs at and was also the ongoing sub (previous year) for the K teacher when she had both a health crisis and sudden death in the family. I loved teaching there.

 

She did fine and except for a three hour trip into a nearby city every Friday for homeschool soccer league, didn't have much of a social life for the first two years until we moved to our current location. It was a non-issue.

 

If you have concerns, then by all means do it. The social aspects are not worth sacrificing academics or character development.

 

Faith

[Tap]

Ds15 went to public then small private after that. After 4th grade he asked to come home to homeschool. Hsing was his idea, not mine. His request was because:

He was tired of waiting for everyone else to get done with their work while he sat doing nothing.

He was tired of how mean some kids could be and how often some kids got sent to the principal.

He was tired of just getting interested in a subject to have to stop studying it and move on to another one.

He was tired of having to go to school for hours, to accomplish seeming little.

 

DD11 was in Pre-K at the time in the small private school. She liked it and really enjoyed her teacher. She was reading already at home but still had to sit through "this is a G" in class. She was a bit bored at times but since she is a very crafty kid, and they did a lot of craft in her class, she was pretty happy. I had to pull her out for a month to let her get well after being sick continuously for months (we don't think her immune system was recovering from one thing before getting another) after that she did fine for the remaining months. She chose to go to K the next year and then asked to homeschool after that. She was always advanced and learned little at K, but she did like the social part.

 

 

DD3 is currently in a commercial daycare/preschool because I have health issues that complicate me caring for her special needs during the day. She loves it and I have no intention of pulling her out right now. She will stay there until she ages out and then will be enrolled in the same private school. I will not be hsing her unless we have no other option. ( I say this but I have yet to part with all my early elementary materials LOL I was adding to the box again last night :) and putting it in the attic LOL)

 

We don't think that hsing is the only way to educate our kids and they choose what they want to do for school each year. DS15 attended a homeschool/public school hybrid with masters level teachers for various classes over the years that I couldn't teach well at home (Spanish, etc). DS15 started back to public highschool this year (10th) and is attending college in the fall. One thing I can say is that he feels he was getting a much better education at home than in any school he attended. And we use a very loose, unschool meets classical mix. LOL We are not fierce educators but allow our kids choose much of what they learn.

Edited April 26, 2010 by Tap, tap, tap

[Alphabetika]

Ds15 went to public then small private after that. After 4th grade he asked to come home to homeschool. Hsing was his idea, not mine. His request was because:

He was tired of waiting for everyone else to get done with their work while he sat doing nothing.

He was tired of how mean some kids could be and how often some kids got sent to the principal.

He was tired of just getting interested in a subject to have to stop studying it and move on to another one.

He was tired of having to go to school for hours, to accomplish seeming little.

 

Yes, yes, yes!:iagree:

[elegantlion]

DS was in private school for prek-k and K. We didn't enroll him for first grade because of the tuition costs. Honestly, we liked the school, smaller town, we had a lot of friends there. It was a good experience for him.

 

However, after we started homeschooling I found the perks of homeschooling to be far superior. No getting up at 6 a.m., no waiting in line for 20 minutes to pick him up when I could see him also standing in line inside his classroom. No more "I don't know" answers when I asked what he did that day. No more constantly trying to focus my priorities because we had "less" than many other families in the school. And those have nothing to do with the academics.

[higginszoo]

We pulled our older 2 from ps and put our second in a private, Christian, school. We pulled her after 7 months for a few reasons -- one, she was incredibly bored ... they were less equipped than the ps to differentiate for GT needs. Two -- we moved. The local Catholic school here told me that they couldn't possibly find spaces all at once for 'so many kids' :001_huh: I only have 4. and Three: The cliques were SO much worse in cs than in ps, or even in the hs group whose cliques convinced me to try school for dd in the first place.

[Luckymama]

We will be pulling our youngest from Catholic school in the fall when she will be in 5th grade. Her older siblings graduated from this school and attend different Catholic high schools. We like the school, the teachers and the students. The main reason is academic. Since first grade she has complained about boredom. Each year the teachers say that they will address her need for "more." Yet the "more" they give her is "more" of the same that she has already mastered.

 

She deserves "more." And she'll get whatever she needs :)

[TXMomof4]

one other thing to consider in your decision. Kids kicked out of the publicschool system are placed in private school.

 

 

 

:iagree:

[Lolly]

Yep. It was the school I taught in before kids. We pulled them because we could afford to school them ourselves by taking field trips all over the world for the cost of sending 4.:lol: (Translation: Tuition was just way too high.) I actually wish we could have continued sending them to school there. It is a fabulous place. Just totally not worth the $.

 

Then, dd17 wanted to try attending school in 8th grade. We went with a less expensive option private school. She, I mean I, made it 5 weeks before I pulled her. The homework load was absolutely insane. I don't think an 8th grader should be spending from 7-12:30 every single day doing book work with only three brief breaks for meals..:glare:

[elizabeth]

"that's what they say...not what they do". I'm really torn on what to do because academics at home are wonderful but we live so far out of town that it's not possible for DD to be in many extra curriculars. I'm thinking if we put her in school just for the

 

You will rue the day you even considered it. Our accelerated learner was sold a bill of goods from day one. She was very helpful in teaching the other children to read and oddly enough...they hated her. Do not do it. I am a lawyer, dh is a well known and feared lawyer. They lied without any hesitation about what they were going to do for dd so she could learn something new for once. One day I found TWTM online , went to Barnes and Noble, bought the book, sobbed with relief for hours and 8 years have flown by with never a glance back.

[novagirl]

Wow, thank you everyone for your input. We SURE are re-evaluating our decisions. I don't think it's very smart for us to put her into a school where she won't be challenged just to have some social activities. So glad this board is here for me!

[cdrumm4448]

He was tired of waiting for everyone else to get done with their work while he sat doing nothing.

He was tired of how mean some kids could be and how often some kids got sent to the principal.

He was tired of just getting interested in a subject to have to stop studying it and move on to another one.

He was tired of having to go to school for hours, to accomplish seeming little.

 

These were my ds's concerns, also. He also brought up the idea of homeschooling and worked on me for a year before I agreed. I was sad to see him leave our warm, small school, but the past year has really opened my eyes regarding the quality of education there. 34 kids in a class, teachers who refuse to deviate from their standard teaching plan in any way, a principal who has no polished professional skills at all, and an attitude of putting fiscal decisions ahead of what's best for the children and what the parents want all contributed to our Catholic school's downfall in my mind.

 

ETA: I attended Catholic high school and I have to say our high school didn't turn out any really nice people. In fact, the girls I went to high school with were some of the worst people I have ever known. For a religious school, I didn't see much Jesus going on there, or even at my 20th reunion. No one had changed much. A lot of class distinction and money flaunting.

Edited April 29, 2010 by cdrumm4448
Mommy brain.