Do you ever just sit and obssess about all the bad decisions you've made?

[Allearia]

I just keep thinking of all these things where I either chose wrongly or just stupidly and wish I could go back and start over. I kind of know that it probably wouldn't have been perfect either but sometimes I get stuck here and can't get out.

[Tap]

Yeah, sometimes I dwell on the past too much. Usually late at night when I can't sleep or when I am on a long drive.

 

Now, when I see myself thinking about those times, I try to focus on what I learned and how I have made sure not to repeat the mistake. I don't think we are supposed to be perfect people.

 

If I find that I have made the same mistake several times, I try to think about what I can do in the future to not let it happen again. Or how can I make sure to not allow myself to get in the situation that led me to the issue in the first place.

[ThatCyndiGirl]

Yes.

 

 

I try to talk myself out of the temporary obsession, but I've found that if I will allow myself to sit and wallow in it then say..."okay, that's enough, get on with it!" it works better than trying to talk myself out of it from the getgo.

[newlifemom]

No. However, that may be why I keep making bad decisions. :tongue_smilie:

I have always been a move on kind of person, but I think a little healthy retrospect is a good thing.

[5LittleMonkeys]

Good decisions come from experience, and experience comes from bad decisions. - Unknown

 

Life is the sum of all your choices - Albert Camus

 

 

Revisit your decisions often, the good ones and the bad ones. They help you grow.

 

[lvbnhome]

I am reading this book right now. Author = Barbra De Angelis.

This might help you too..

I don't know your age, but honestly...I think all women will come to some point (and maybe, many times)..where they will take an assessment. 40's??

Praying you have wisdom to understand all the life lessons from your past, so you can make great choices for your future:):auto:

Lacy

[RoughCollie]

I am reading this book right now. Author = Barbra De Angelis.Lacy

 

That book has good reviews on Amazon. I'm going to read it. I sometimes brood over my mistakes and wondering what would have happened with my life if I'd chosen differently at key points. Then I wonder whether these were mistakes, given the circumstances at the time. It drives me crazy.

[Jean in Newcastle]

I've made some doozies. But as a Christian, I know I can confess any sinful mistakes I've made and they are forgiven. As for the non-sinful mistakes, I figure I did the best I can as a fallible human being.

[i.love.lucy]

I'm more likely to worry about the future. We just buried my FIL last week, so this is on my mind a lot. Especially the financial worries, which were created by past mistakes...so I guess, yeah, I do think about it!

[Rosie_0801]

Yeah, usually when I'm trying to be asleep. Things I'd rather not think about sneak into my head. My subconscious hates me, that's my trouble. When I was diabetic I dreamed about deliberating for ages over ice cream choice, then I only got to have three bites before giving it away.

 

Rosie

[Peela]

No. I made some real bloopers, but I have compassion for the fact that I didn't know any better.It was the best I coudl do with teh maturity and knowledge I had. That's what getting older and wiser is all about :)

I think wallowing inthe past that you can't change is not healthy for you- learn your lessons and move on! Make better choices now!

[jld]

All the time, allearia, all the time.

 

But I think you realize after a while that what you thought were mistakes may not be. It does take a while to see that, though.

 

For example, many times in the last 17 years, I have been irritated that my husband does not make more money, and doesn't even seem that worried about it. Then this morning my upstairs neighbor, whose husband is a CEO of a company here in India, started telling me all about their relationship. He spends all of his time working. He never gives her positive feedback, and his kids avoid him. That sure was eye-opening. My kids love their dad, and my husband is very supportive of me. So now I don't have to feel like it was a mistake for my husband not to have been more aggressive all these years.

 

What I've been brooding about today? Last fall I lost 20 lbs. I have now regained 10. I'm mad at myself, but I still want to eat as much rich food as I want. I'm on my way to regaining all 20. Bad me. Bad, bad, bad me.

 

That's where I am today.:o

[Renee in NC]

That book has good reviews on Amazon. I'm going to read it. I sometimes brood over my mistakes and wondering what would have happened with my life if I'd chosen differently at key points. Then I wonder whether these were mistakes, given the circumstances at the time. It drives me crazy.

 

:iagree:

[Guest Virginia Dawn]

I'm more likely to worry about the future. We just buried my FIL last week, so this is on my mind a lot. Especially the financial worries, which were created by past mistakes...so I guess, yeah, I do think about it!

 

I used worry most about the stupid things I did in the past, but now I split my time evenly between the past and the future. :tongue_smilie:

[Chris in VA]

I have made tons of mistakes. I keep peeling away the layers, trying to learn from them. But if I find I'm too sad about it, I allow myself to feel the sadness for a while, then I make a choice to leave the thoughts and mentally walk away. After all, I have a life now. I don't want to squander it on something I can't change. I find I get really depressed and cry over our family. Then, in the middle of it, dd will want to do something, or want attention or something. If I keep in the past, I miss what's right in front of me! or, "who's" right in front of me. That's making the same mistake.

[elegantlion]

I do worry, but I see the events like a spider web, if I undo one thing the whole web might fall apart. There are certain parts I adore, others not so much.

 

I'm almost 43 and hit some realizations about my life this year. A few years ago I realized a few things I wanted at 17 I still want. I'm starting back up the learning curve, which is harder at 42. I also realized some of things I thought I wanted as an adult don't matter and I need to quit obsessing about them.

[MariannNOVA]

Haven't read any of the other responses.

 

I would like to sit and obsess about ALL the bad decisions I've made, but that would just be ONE MORE bad decision.;)

[Heather in Neverland]

A friend once told me there are no good decisions or bad decisions...just decisions. He said it is like golf...you don't spend time thinking about your last shot, you just concentrate on the next one. Life is too short for regret.

[Sue G in PA]

Regret orientation. I, too, suffer from that quite frequently and it can very easily send me into a downward spiral into the pit of depression. I find my thoughts turning to mistakes made 20+ years ago as well as those made much more recently...like 10 minutes ago! :) I have the tendency to obcess and brood and cry over the stupidity of my youth. But, I do know that God has used those mistakes and will continue to use them. I will learn from them and hopefully teach my children NOT to do what I did, kwim? I hope to steer them in a completely different path. Mistakes I made in my youth led to some rather nasty situations that still haunt me today. It is very difficult to put those thoughts out of my head sometimes. But, I pray and I ask God to simply take those thoughts away and replace them with positive things. And He does...in time.

[Ferdie]

No. That would be too depressing because I have many, many, many bad decisions.

 

"Failure is the launching pad to success." - Not sure who said that but I remind myself this all the time.

[Granny_Weatherwax]

Yeah...(looking sheepishly at my feet)

[Denisemomof4]

we all make mistakes. If I goofed on something recently, I do reflect on it, sometimes too much, and don't allow myself to get stuck there. I make appropriate changes, or apologies, etc., and move on.

 

I used to be a person who got stuck in my thoughts but it was unhealthy and I don't allow it now. But I do learn from my mistakes and move on! If we don't LEARN from our mistakes and there's a pattern, that's a problem.

 

Also, when overtired, things are magnified. Take that into consideration.

 

I hope you're not being too hard on yourself!

[abbeyej]

For me those feelings are usually hormonal. I don't mean I haven't made *plenty* of mistakes! But when I start to feel obsessive about them and lament that I didn't make other choices and wonder if... On and on. Well, then, it's nearly always hormonal. And I have to remind myself that I've felt that way before, and the feelings will pass in another day or so.

 

I don't know if that's what you're experiencing or not. But it might be worth looking to see if there's a pattern in these feelings, or if they're just there all the time...

[erica471]

Yes I do! I've analyzed them over and over (and over). Some of these things just make me cringe to think of them. But, now I can look back of at some of these things and see where I went wrong. You know how kids do things and can't tell you why? Well, I think my some of my decisions where like that. Now I can see it!

Anyway, you have to remember that all those decisions (both good and bad) made you who you are today. Don't get bogged down in the bad, though. We have to make bad decisions to learn.

[TXMomof4]

Regret orientation. I, too, suffer from that quite frequently and it can very easily send me into a downward spiral into the pit of depression. I find my thoughts turning to mistakes made 20+ years ago as well as those made much more recently...like 10 minutes ago! :) I have the tendency to obcess and brood and cry over the stupidity of my youth. But, I do know that God has used those mistakes and will continue to use them. I will learn from them and hopefully teach my children NOT to do what I did, kwim? I hope to steer them in a completely different path. Mistakes I made in my youth led to some rather nasty situations that still haunt me today. It is very difficult to put those thoughts out of my head sometimes. But, I pray and I ask God to simply take those thoughts away and replace them with positive things. And He does...in time.

 

I do obsess somedays. HOwever, I have knowledge now that I wouldn't have had without those mistakes. I am nowhere near as naive as my parents were. My kids have a mom who has really been there, done that and (hopefully) it will serve me well as a parent.

 

I remind myself daily - Rom. 8:28 - God uses ALL things for the good of those who love the Lord.

 

Those mistakes can be used for good if you just let them.

[Allearia]

I am reading this book right now. Author = Barbra De Angelis.

This might help you too..

I don't know your age, but honestly...I think all women will come to some point (and maybe, many times)..where they will take an assessment. 40's??

Praying you have wisdom to understand all the life lessons from your past, so you can make great choices for your future:):auto:

Lacy

 

Thank you... I will get this book... one thing I am good at is reading :001_smile:

[Allearia]

Thanks everyone. It is really helpful to know I am not alone. I am really feeling the effect of some financial decisions right now. And I am getting closer to 40 and feeling it's too late. But if I can just put these lessons to use in the next half of my life I will be in good shape. I'm feeling a bit better this morning.

[Snickerdoodle]

I just keep thinking of all these things where I either chose wrongly or just stupidly and wish I could go back and start over.

 

 

I think this is where the expression "Youth is wasted on the young" comes from.

 

Doesn't it feel like that sometimes? If I only knew then what I know now...

 

Ah, life...