The bickering is going to kill me.

[shinyhappypeople]

Seriously. I am LOSING MY MIND. I feel like crying. Every.single.day, multiple times a day my DDs (ages 5 and 6) just pick-pick-pick at each other and delight in annoying each other.

 

They both dish it out and then act like tragic victims when the other does the exact.same.thing to them. Maybe I'm just mean, but I don't really sympathize. I mean, they bring it on themselves!!! Besides, nothing I say or do seems to really help.

 

I feel like locking myself in my room for a good cry. I've just had it, you know?

 

Experienced moms (or anyone who has words of wisdom), please HELP!!! They've literally given me a headache. I feel out of my depth here. I will humbly consider any and all suggestions. I didn't have a good mothering role model and now as a mom I'm winging it, hoping love will cover my mistakes.

 

Thank you.

 

(oh, wait, in the time it took to write this they've gone from stealing toys, mouthing off "You're not my friend ever again," and taunting one another to playing nicely. Thank you, Jesus!!! Praying this will last until DH gets home and I can run away for a bit.)

[hsbaby]

:lurk5:

 

I'll be listening in here! My two youngest do the same thing (they are 2.5 and 6). And I HAVE cried about it before:lol:

[lionfamily1999]

:grouphug:

 

My brother and I did this. It wasn't because we hated each other, thinking back it just seemed like how we interracted. I wish I knew, now, why we always seemed to argue, but for the life of me it just seemed like that was how we communicated.

 

At this moment my boys are yelling at each other in the living room. I've tried separating them, I've tried calmly discussing how we don't treat each other like that, I've tried taking things away, I have tried time outs and I'll admit it, I've tried crying, ranting and raving...

 

I am starting to think it's just a natural reaction to being siblings. When they're nice to each other, they're very very nice and when they're mean they're cruel.

 

Sorry I have no solid advice, but at least you know it's not just your kids ;)

[MamaT]

When my dc have acted that way (and it seems to cycle), I start punishing unkindness IMMEDIATELY. They know that if they say/do something unkind to someone else, Being consistent with never, ever letting it slide helps after a few days of the kids being punished all. day. long.

[LND1218]

What would you do if they were behaving this way with a friend instead of a sibling?

 

We don't allow it at all. Period. The consequences vary, but there is always one. We are teaching our children that they have to get along. Period. It does pop up from time to time, but we don't allow it.

 

It was allowed when I was a child, and I hated it. I hated the constant fighting among us kids.

 

There are consequences on both sides - the instigator and victim.

[Verity]

:grouphug: Right there with you but I have three boys at home, 11, 7 and 4. Mine like to wrestle and play rough (except my hyperactive and hypersensitive -SPD one) and they like to call names. I've used several different approaches, punishing immediately and also making them say one nice thing about the other every time they say something rude. Following that for a few days really did cut down on the name calling. Also I've had talks with all of them about how noone is allowed to talk to one of my children the way they just did and punish them with a time out or loss of privilege for a while. Pointing out that they are all my kids that I will protect, if necessary from each other does seem to help..but five and six is a rough age for this stuff.

Hang in there mom! Some days as soon as my dh gets home from work I lock myself in the bathroom with a bubble bath and tv show (I made him run cable to a small extra tv in the bathroom for just this reason lol).

[Pamela H in Texas]

Though you may need to have some consequence depending on the situation, I think I'd FOCUS the other direction (because I'd go absolutely crazy hearing fussing, but also joining in with more negativity ALL day!). So you can let them know when you genuinely appreciate how things are going, when they do things nicely, etc. Don't OVERDO it though (a common parenting mistake) because it sounds insincere and manipulative which kids don't respond well to. Also, I HIGHLY suggest having them "bless" one another. Require a certain number of times per day that they must say and do something extra nice for their siblings. You may need to brainstorm with them and make yourself available for them to come to you for an idea. You might do the "sayings" at meals (breakfast/supper) and the others can be action base or you might say X # of each kind a day. Whatever you think will work for your kiddos. The idea is that if they are regularly looking for nice things to do and say, they'll have less time and opportunity for meanness.

 

BTW, one other thing? I also tell kids that *I* don't want to hear it. Some fussing is normal and HEALTHY. But *I* don't want to be stressed out over it so they better do it quietly.

[muffinmom]

As my kids' doctor reminded me, the interactions they have with each other will influence their future relationships. While this is a real relationship, it is also training ground for how to treat other people and what treatment to accept from other people. (That is also true of the relationship with Mom and Dad.)

 

So...I decide what is acceptable behavior, what do I want to teach them about being in relationship with other people, and then I start enforcing those rules. Sometimes it is good to let them work out their differences, depending on the situation. All conflict is not bad...some is necessary and valuable to work through. But just as important is HOW they learn to work through conflict with each other. As another poster said, kindness and reasonable treatment is part of how they need to be trained to treat each other.

[AngelBee]

:grouphug:

[Snickerdoodle]

If the kids have time to bicker, it means they don't have enough work to do (lessons or chores). At least in my house that's what it means.

 

:001_smile:

[abbeyej]

First, I'm so sorry you're having a tough day. Some days just *wear* on you!

 

As to dealing with the bickering... I try to focus on "building relationship" rather than just stopping the bickering. Now, stepping in when necessary and breaking things up is important, and I believe in putting an absolute moratorium on cruel talk, but I think the more productive (long-term) way to deal with sibling issues is to work on creating a strong relationship between them.

 

So give them "team building" opportunities. Look for ways to force them to work together and to depend on each other. Require that *they* look for ways to praise each other (genuinely, though the things they praise can be small or even silly) and to serve each other.

 

One thing that has worked for us has been requiring cruel, bickering kids to write "love letters" to each other. These are simple lists really (you decide how many items -- three is a good starting point) of the things they love about each other. For children too young to write, you can serve as their scribe. Answers of "nothing, hmph" are unacceptable. Children who are uncooperative may sit quietly and reflect until they come up with three (or however many) things, regardless of how long that takes, though of course you may ask leading questions to help them come up with their list. Afterwards, bring them together and read the lists together, as you talk to them about the many ways you *see* that they love each other, and the many ways they enjoy being together.

 

Another list opportunity (sometimes combined with the first, sometimes separately) is having kids come up with three (or more) ways to serve each other. These can be offering to help the other with a chore, sharing a special treat, making a sibling something nice, etc, etc.

 

While the kids may object initially, I've found mine at least respond very positively in the end. There's something that really buoys them up to hear ways their sibling loves them, and they feel good seeing their sibling respond positively to kind things they're saying or doing.

 

Giving bickering kids jobs to do together is helpful as well. Especially if you can come up with jobs that require assembly-line or team-work type activities. Even if you have to give them "make work" activities, this can be helpful.

 

Also, don't *assume* that they won't get along.

 

Assume that they *will*. Make sure that you communicate to them your expectation that they will be best friends. When they've spent all morning snipping at each other, but in the afternoon they come together in some elaborate fantasy, don't express surprise. Just let them know, "Oh, I'm so glad you two are being sweet together. It makes me so happy when I see you being kind and loving towards each other."

 

If one child really needs some space, do give the other something to do so that she won't harass her sister when what her sister really needs is a few minutes alone. That said, I don't think children necessarily need their own *rooms* or *significant* time alone. But they do sometimes need time to sit and read or work on an individual project without input. So make sure they can each get those times occasionally.

 

When it comes to issues of "fairness" and sharing, try the "One cuts, the other chooses" philosophy. So if they need to agree on a movie, and can't decide together, let one choose three possibilities, and the other select from those. If they're going to eat cookies, let one select the cookies to go on the plates (to see that they're even), and the other chooses her plate first, etc.

 

Nip all ugly talk in the bud. "That's not how we speak to people in our family." Absolutely.

 

Ask them, "Is this how you would treat / what you would say to your best friend?" Don't accept, "But *she* saaaaaid..." "No, I will talk to her in a moment. I'm talking to you about what *you* said..." (And let them see that you will address each of them, but not about what the other said, only about what each said individually...)

[3and3]

I have been reading this post and this sounds all to familiar:glare: My 3 8yo, 7yo, and 5yo are constently at each other. I think I will take some of these comments and put them into my routine. I hope they work! Thanks for posting this :)

[abreakfromlife]

I don't think children necessarily need their own *rooms* or *significant* time alone.

I like everything you said, except this. If you have a child who is an introvert, then yes, they need time alone, just as an extrovert needs time with other people. I am a strong introvert and just need decompressing time. I needed it all growing up too, and was rarely allowed to go to my room or be alone. "be with the family, why do you need to be alone".....it was very stressful growing up and never getting a break. I know it's hard for extroverts to understand :D but some kids need a good chunk of time alone.

 

 

oh and I loved the letter idea. awesome.

[ElizabethB]

What would you do if they were behaving this way with a friend instead of a sibling?

 

We don't allow it at all. Period. The consequences vary, but there is always one. We are teaching our children that they have to get along. Period. It does pop up from time to time, but we don't allow it.

 

:iagree:

 

I don't let my children do things that annoy the other child any more, and it has made our house much more peaceful and loving.

 

Now that I don't allow it, sometimes the being annoyed child will try to stop the other child from doing anything, but I don't let that happen either. "He gets to sing the song once, then he has to stop, I want to hear the song, one time singing a song is not annoying, 10 times can be."

 

We try to focus on the heart.

 

:grouphug:

 

Some days it works better than others, but when you have a high standard, even when you miss, you're better off than when you just focus on behavior and a lower standard.

Edited February 12, 2010 by ElizabethB

[Splungeman]

I don't feel very qualified to offer advice. So instead I'll refer you to a master, who does a very good job of making you feel like you are not alone in your suffering. :001_smile:

 

 

[Punks in Ontario]

the interactions they have with each other will influence their future relationships. While this is a real relationship, it is also training ground for how to treat other people and what treatment to accept from other people. (That is also true of the relationship with Mom and Dad.)

 

:iagree:

 

I also agree with Abbeyej that children need to be taught how to treat each other well.

 

Bickering and even bullying was allowed when I was young, too. I hated it, too - probably because I was a much younger sibling. My parents thought this was normal for kids.:ack2:

 

In our home, we've focused on how to encourage each other, and look out for the other child and how to show love to one another. This has taken the form of actual character teaching (talking about how to do this "in the real world"), having them do things for others and give compliments to one another.

 

When someone says/does something unkind, part of the consequence is to find a kind thing to do to the other in this home.

 

BTW, kids often love to manipulate mom and other children by arranging for the other child to get into trouble. :glare: Be on the lookout for this behaviour. For this, we use the Bible principle that whatever punishment the child intended for the other is their punishment. This will deal with tattling to the adult in most cases. I also will deal with the problem child without the others knowing so that this isn't as likely to happen.

 

One other note is that if bickering is the tone set between spouses, of course the children will learn to do this too. Hopefully, that isn't the case. You set the tone for how to treat others with love and compassion. You can't expect them to be kinder/more loving than they see you being.

 

Over the years, my kids have become great friends. Many people including my parents comment on how well they get along. They're fun to have around. Things do happen from time to time, but they have mostly learned how to work things out in a mature, godly manner. Hopefully that will continue into the teen years.

 

The good news is, that even those of us who grew up with the arguing mentality, we've mostly managed to rise above it and become friends with our siblings. These kids likely will too.:001_smile:

 

:grouphug:

[CalicoKat]

We having been using the "Three Tickets" method recently with much success.

 

They get three post-it notes each day on the refrig. They're their self-control tickets. If for some reason they loose their self control and act out unkindly towards anyone in the family or act disrepectfully towards a parent we "pull" on of their tickets. IF they loose all three then they spend the rest of the day in their room (meals are served on time & bathroom priviledges).

 

It's only happened once that we've actually had a child take it the whole way. She did it at 10 a.m. on a Saturday. She understood and respected the boundary we put in place and usually only has to be reminded once that she's only got 2 left for the day.

 

Do the kids come to you to referee their bickering? If yes, then you need to stop solving their problems. I usually call both parties (it always takes two to fight) and help them walk through a conflict resolution.

 

Me: "_____ has something to say to you."

 

The child with the issue then has a chance to talk through what they're feeling, wanting, etc.

 

The other child get a chance to respond.

 

Usually they get it worked out with just a bit of coaching like, "Maybe when you're done with that toy you can tell her you'll give it to her next."

 

Mostly I say, "That's interesting, but have you spoken to ____ about how you feel?" Usually that's all it takes for them to resolve it on their own. We've been working this way for a year now and I'm relieved to not be the referee, judge and warden.

[ereks mom]

My dc were that exact same way when they were little. And I felt exactly like you do. I remember crying over the situation because I just got. so. tired. of. it! And yes, we tried all kinds of things -- punishment, extra chores, kiss & make up, you name it. Nothing worked for long, but we stuck with it and changed tactics as needed. I'm not sure any of it really did any good. But you know what, when my dc got older, they became VERY close, and for the past few (4+) years, they've been saying they are best friends. I think the magic happened when my youngest was about 11 & her brother was about 15. So hang in there; it does get better!

Edited February 12, 2010 by ereks mom

[abbeyej]

... I know it's hard for extroverts to understand :D but some kids need a good chunk of time alone...

 

Actually, lol, I'm not an extrovert. :) But I think there are ways to give kids quiet time and down time without necessarily having their own rooms. One mom on this board years ago got her dds those "bed tents"... Sometimes just a quiet nook in the house where a child can go and not be bothered is enough.

 

But I think many times parents fall into the trap of separating kids *every* time there's a conflict -- rather than working on getting kids to work together.

 

It's also important to help teach more extroverted kids to respect the needs for privacy and quiet of their more introverted siblings... It's all about balance. Sometimes the more introverted kiddos can be encouraged to step out of their comfort zone and play with the others. Basically, it comes down to teaching kids to respect each others needs and treat each other with the kindness and consideration they would often reserve for friends...

[ereks mom]

One thing that has worked for us has been... lists ... of the things they love about each other.

 

I told each of my dc to come up with just ONE thing they loved/liked best about each other. ER told EK, "The best thing about you is that you are not twins." Now, years later, we laugh about it, but at the time, I was so MAD!

[abreakfromlife]

 

But I think there are ways to give kids quiet time and down time without necessarily having their own rooms.

I agree....we have 5 kids in 2 rooms and think it's good for them :D I just read that as 'they don't need much alone time' and I know I did, and it was so frustrating at the time to not realize that was a legitimate need not realizing it was a personality issue, and I know my oldest dd does b/c she is just surrounded by siblings all the time. I might go overboard letting her have alone time, I don't know. My mom just always said I was being secretive b/c I wanted to go be alone in my room to read :001_huh: So I try to let the kids be alone whenever they want. Maybe I'll find I'm leaning too much in that direction, I don't' know.

[Rosie_0801]

When we were like this as kids, Mum told us we could argue as much as we liked, as long as she didn't have to hear it. Therefore we had to go outside. Any protestations that it was dark, cold or wet met with no sympathy. If the argument wasn't important enough to be continued under those circumstances, it didn't need to be happening at all.

 

It worked :D

 

 

Rosie

[Tree House Academy]

My 10 and 6 year old do this all the time. I have to seperate them. Daily. Sometimes, several times a day. It is bad because, as the parent, I can't see and hear all. Sometimes I get on the older son for bothering the younger when it was the younger that started it and vice versa. There have been many days I have considered crying...if I thought it would help...

[abbeyej]

I told each of my dc to come up with just ONE thing they loved/liked best about each other. ER told EK, "The best thing about you is that you are not twins." Now, years later, we laugh about it, but at the time, I was so MAD!

 

Yeah, lol, I recommend working through the list (or pre-reading the letter) with each child individually, and approve or not *before* presenting them to the recipient.

[lionfamily1999]

I don't feel very qualified to offer advice. So instead I'll refer you to a master, who does a very good job of making you feel like you are not alone in your suffering. :001_smile:

 

 

You win BEST RESPONSE OF THE DAY!

My dc were that exact same way when they were little. And I felt exactly like you do. I remember crying over the situation because I just got. so. tired. of. it! And yes, we tried all kinds of things -- punishment, extra chores, kiss & make up, you name it. Nothing worked for long, but we stuck with it and changed tactics as needed. I'm not sure any of it really did any good. But you know what, when my dc got older, they became VERY close, and for the past few (4+) years, they've been saying they are best friends. I think the magic happened when my youngest was about 11 & her brother was about 15. So hang in there; it does get better!

It was the same for my brother and I.

When we were like this as kids, Mum told us we could argue as much as we liked, as long as she didn't have to hear it. Therefore we had to go outside. Any protestations that it was dark, cold or wet met with no sympathy. If the argument wasn't important enough to be continued under those circumstances, it didn't need to be happening at all.

 

It worked :D

 

 

Rosie

I like this response! I may have to try this, now that we're living in the midst of a desolate snow tundra it could work :lol:

[Barb_]

I told each of my dc to come up with just ONE thing they loved/liked best about each other. ER told EK, "The best thing about you is that you are not twins." Now, years later, we laugh about it, but at the time, I was so MAD!

 

:banghead:

 

:001_rolleyes:

 

:lol:

 

In that order.

[Barb_]

Have you read, "Siblings Without Rivalry" by Faber and Maszlish? I fought so much with my brother growing up because my parents were in the let 'em work it out camp. But it's hard to work it out when you are little and don't have the skills in place. I didn't have a lot to go on when my oldest two began going at it and Siblings Without Rivalry got me out of my own head (and my history) and gave me a new perspective on the sibling relationship. For instance, siblings really don't want to be treated as equals, they want to feel important as individuals. Pay attention first to the one who is hurt in a sibling squabble rather than turning your attention toward the culprit. Robs him or her of her glory. No name calling, no gloating, and never, ever any physicality. We are taught that sibling hatred is inevitable, but it isn't. This book really helped me to begin to see the alternatives. Nowdays my parents are amazed that my kids never seem to bicker or fight and that they enjoy one another. My dad thinks my kids are just born different ;)

 

Barb

[Joanne]

It tends to go in cycles here, too.

 

Some things I always try to look at:

 

1) How much screen time have they had. There seems to be a direct relationship between too much screen and too much bickering/attitude.

 

2) What has been their peer influence lately?

 

3) Eating and sleeping?

 

4) Structure? Lack of structure and organization on my part = worse behavior on theirs.

 

In addition to the book above, this book is great for siblings.

Don't let the title fool you, it's actually about building *honor* into family relationships.

[happyWImom]

I didn't get a chance to read all of the responses, but here are my feelings on the situation.

 

My dc are close in age also, although they are boy & girl. And, girls are so emotional, so dramatic, so I'm sure it's twice as bad for you.:grouphug:

 

I agree that it isn't acceptable to act this way, or treat each other unkindly, and yes, there should be consequences. That said, as I've said to my dc "When you are together all of the time, it's natural that you get on each other's nerves." Which is why we always do have a quiet time each day. Basically, so that we all get a little break from the "togetherness". And when they really start fighting, even if it's not quiet time, it's time for separation.

 

During school, though, the bickering is maddening, and I don't allow it. Period. I tell them if they start bickering, or telling the other what to do, or argue with me, there will be consequences. And that usually involves whatever we are supposed to do in the afternoon. Sometimes it's just going outside, or playing a game, and sometimes it's actually going somewhere they really want to go. And I do enforce it. It's helped.

 

I totally feel your pain, but as much as they butt heads, they love each other and are close, right? I look at the closeness and am so happy, and hope that it will be that way for them forever.

[Caribbean Queen]

When my children begin to have problems I help them work it out. I don't wait until things get ugly. For instance, if I see that they are not sharing well I might say, "Princess is having her turn now and soon Cutey will have his turn." or "You both can use the crayons. Take one crayon you want, use it, and put it back in the box. Then you can pick another crayon." My children know that if they do not follow my directions they will not be able to play.

 

I have one child who would say, "I won't be your friend unless you do ____." He said it all the time. Everyone had to play what he wanted, when he wanted, how he wanted. I had to tell him that he was being obnoxious and manipulative, I was disappointed in him, and he was not to say that anymore. I also explained to his sibling that she needs to get a backbone. My kids are young so I had to explain it with different words, but you get the idea. Better to learn those lessons young, from your loving mother, than to learn those lessons later, the hard way.

[Stacy in NJ]

My solution is that I just don't tolerate "mean talk". Mean talk results in punishment. period. I've periodically used a merit/demerit system. I keep a small white board in the kitched and draw a smile/frown face on the board representing the merit/demerit. Merits are earned when the child goes out of his way to be helpful, kind, hardworking. Demerits are dished out for mean talk, teasing, mean rough play, and laziness. Demerits result in an early bedtime; merits earn the kiddo extra treats like free/play/screen time. Honestly, I rarely need to or remember this system any longer. My kids have largely out grown it.

 

I really value a calm, pleasant atmosphere in the home, and any thing that promotes discord is nipped in the bud.

[AnitaMcC]

:grouphug:

 

:bigear: :bigear: :bigear: :bigear:

 

I wish I knew the answer, unfortunately my boys are horrible to each other!!!!!!! They are at it all day long. One reason I am not homeschooling the 3rd and 5th grader.... they fight constantly and Ds#1 (9th grader) will just antagonize the whole situation and vice versa

all. day. long.

 

About the only thing that helps around here is that if they bicker/fight much I will put them all in a corner until I feel sane enough to let them out... and that could be a very long time....LOL.

[AnitaMcC]

That said, I don't think children necessarily need their own *rooms* or *significant* time alone.

 

I agree with everything else you said, except for this...

 

I think there are some kids (and adults too) who desperately need significant time alone.

 

My Ds#1 is like this. If he doesn't have a way to get away from people for several hours each day he will go insane!!!!! But then again he isn't "normal" he has Asperger Syndrome and Sensory Integration Disorder. So he easily gets overwhelmed when around other people for long. He is fine one-on-one interactions.. but get him where he is expected to deal with several people in a room, no way... he can only deal for a short time before he needs to back off.

 

I am similar to Ds. I must have my alone time every day or I just can't deal well. Some days I can easily hide away in my bedroom for several hours. When I go to visit relatives, I have to go off on my own occassionally for an hour or two every day. I just can not handle being around several people all the time.

[AnitaMcC]

When we were like this as kids, Mum told us we could argue as much as we liked, as long as she didn't have to hear it. Therefore we had to go outside. Any protestations that it was dark, cold or wet met with no sympathy. If the argument wasn't important enough to be continued under those circumstances, it didn't need to be happening at all.

 

It worked :D

 

Rosie

 

This is what we do alot too... we tell the kids to "Take it outside". They rarely feel like doing so-LOL. T

 

here are days that it just seems like the boys rub each other the wrong way here. Those days I try to keep them busy... away from each other.

 

Much of my boys bickering is just that... bickering. I think they are trying to entertain themselves. If they get into tattling... we punish the tattler and the one being tattled on with same punishment. We tell the kids... unless there is bodily harm, then no need to tattle on each other. That helps cutting down on the "he did, she did, he said, she said" complaints.

[shinyhappypeople]

Oh wow! Thank you all for the replies. I'm going to re-read this thread and take notes. I'm not sure what our next step will be, but it's good to know that it's not just my kids, yk? They do love each other and are best friends and worst enemies.

 

I'll check my library for the book recc's. They look helpful :)

 

For those who have instituted a daily quiet time, can you give me more details about that? How long? What's allowed/not allowed? I'm an introvert and that sounds like a really good idea to me.

 

For those who use consequences, what specific consequences do you use? Some of you shared specifics (thank you). How about the rest of y'all? What would be a reasonable consequence for things like threatening to hit, actually hitting, throwing things, tattling, screaming, mean words, etc.

 

Sheesh, my kids sound like maniacs. They're not, I swear! Sometimes they're as sweet as pudding and twice as nice. It's just those *other* times that are the problem.

[littlebug42]

My children go through waves of constant bickering that also drives me insance. Usually, it is for one of two reasons. One, they have had too much time on their own dealing solely with each other. A project, school work etc usually can divert the issue. The other time is because my oldest daughter without a doubt requires some alone time and my younger child doesn't much like to spend time alone and therefore sometimes won't respect her sister's boundaries. This was why room sharing for them is just not possible. When it is for this reason, I must separate them for quiet time.

 

For our quiet time, they go into their own rooms and must read or play quietly (dolls, etc) in their own rooms. My oldest pretty much always reads as that is her favorite past time and my younger sometimes reads and sometimes plays. Either way it gives all three of us time to recharge our batteries. I shoot for an hour and it is usually needed most in the 2-3 range.

 

That being said, I agree with the other parents that I do not tolerate out and out meanness and saying or doing mean things. The phrase "I hate you" and the like are not tolerated here at all. Disagreements are one thing and are expected especially given their different personalities but the meanness is not acceptable - ever.

[ereks mom]

:confused:

[Crystal in VA]

:grouphug: I still deal with this from with my three girls...who happen to be 15, 12, and 11.:glare: You'd think they'd be past all that bickering.

 

I will say that they do have great days together where they are best friends. Those days are wonderful. They can get pretty loud and annoying (to me) on those days due to all the laughing and talking that goes on. Especially annoying when they do this during school time. ;)