If you pulled children from ps to hs - what made you decide?

[3andme]

I am considering pulling my ds out of public school to homeschool him. There is no overt problem with academics - he performs at or above grade level - but he continues to show no engagement with his class or school. He is currently in 3rd and this has been pretty consistent since K.

 

He tolerates school, jokes around in class, and maybe pays attention 20% of the time but never seems excited or interested in anything he learns. At home, he is a bright, inquisitive boy with intense interests but none of that seems to cross over to school. Frankly, I think he's just plain bored. His current teacher is caring but doesn't really have any concrete options (i.e. acceleration, diff. curriculum) to help him.

 

My intuition says we need to try something different but dh is very sceptical of HS although not completely opposed. After reading this forum over the last month or so, I became very convinced that HS was worth pursing but after encountering my dh's opposition tonight, my conviction is flagging a bit. How will I handle hs with 2 younger dc? Can I do better than our school which is supposedly one of the top rated in the state?

 

I would like to hear from others who have pulled your children from public school. What made you decide to do so? And how did you get your spouse on board?

[Tidbits of Learning]

We were having bully issues with one child and another child with severe food allergies. DH was not on board at all. He opposed it vehemenantly. He let me buy curriculum and have a trial run this summer, but even I don't know what sold him. My dd9 who had the bully issues rode with him to the summer baseball games one night without me and they had a talk which neither divulged to me except the fact that a talk occured and dh no longer opposed homeschooling.

[courtney.byrum]

We are currently considering pulling DS home for next year. He is in K now and needs acceleration which he isn't getting. I can't see my DS succeeding in school if all his learning is done at home like it is this year - and I don't see the school being willing to work with him. At 5 he is doing 3rd grade math and reading at least at a late 2nd grade level - all the while his K class is working on letters, sight words, and counting to 20.

[helena]

My oldest daughter loved K and 1st grade, and we're in an awesome school district. There were a lot of little things, but one day my daughter came home with a quiz where one of the questions was which is correct A) everyone is special B) nobody is special C) only some people are special. The answer was everyone is special. I went to the teacher and said "What is this test? What subject is this covering? Everyone is not special, child molesters are not special, murderers aren't special!" She said she thought the whole thing was weird, but there was nothing she could do about it.

I though "forget this".

Also my daughter was verbally attacked by a teacher motivated by the thought that she didn't speak or understand english.

I didn't have to do any convincing with my husband. We are laid back people, and the whole school thing was a bit much for us.

 

I had also read this article at that time which really left me feeling powerless with my own children. A questionnaire had been given (here in California) to something like 1st, and 2nd graders without the parents knowledge. It was full of vile sexual questions. I think the thing was trashed pretty quick, but I though "why would I give them a chance to experiment with crazy ideas on my kid?"

 

gosh it seems like our choice came from all negative places...:confused:

it didn't, we had always thought about it, and I have a girlfriend who was a super positive influence on me to have faith and take a chance. Our choice was joyful, and my daughter only has good memories of PS.

[Peela]

I would like to hear from others who have pulled your children from public school. What made you decide to do so? And how did you get your spouse on board?

 

I pulled out my then 7year old because he was struggling in 2nd grade, was upset when I picked him up in the afternoons, couldn't read, couldn't write, and the apathetic teacher didn't have a clue how to teach non academic or late maturing boys, and she had a strong preference for academic girls.

The difference once he came home was immense. His whole personality changed and became sweet and light again.

I was living separately from dh at the time. I needed him on board to look after ds while I worked part time. He was at first very negative. I gave him lots of short, positive articles on homeschooling to read. He realised that ds was struggling in school and agreed to a 6 month trial. Within 2 weeks he was totally convinced that homeschooling was the way to go, and has been my biggest supporter ever since (and we moved back in together soon after). Homeschooling very much brought us together as a family.

I pulled dd who was then 9 out of 4th grade a term after pulling ds out, simply because we decided homeschooling was a better option, and we knew we would lose her to her peers very soon, as she is a very social being and very peer oriented. So for her, it was more for social and family reasons. She was not happy about it at all. But within 6 months she was settled and had some great homeschooling girlfriends and was content with her new lifestyle.

Something about the homeschooling lifestyle feels very natural once you are in it. You realise kids arent really meant to be separated from their parents at a tender age. I think many fathers get on board once they experience it, but are at first skeptical. You just have to be persistent, offer up information and statistics, and remind him that your son can always go back to school if it doesn't work out.

[creekland]

My boys (3) were all in elementary school and doing fine with no issues socially or academically. All tested in the 90% or better nationally on annual tests.

 

However, I WORK in our high school and see the learning (or lack thereof) that goes on there. I also see the hormones, the bullying, and the apathy overall. Kids who have graduated from our high school often go to college and end up needing remedial classes - even kids in our top 10%. Others that get placed in regular classes usually have difficulty keeping up. Our school dropped AP testing since so few kids could score a 3 or better (a 5 is equivalent to an A).

 

What I see shows up in our statewide testing. Our elementary schools make the grade and our middle and high school do not. As far as I'm concerned, the bar is set really low too - and we still don't make the grade.

 

I wanted better for my fully capable kids, so as soon as the oldest hit 9th grade, I pulled all 3 out and don't regret it at all. My oldest is in the top 3% nationally as per college entrance exams and is being highly recruited with merit scholarships from the colleges of his choice. My middle son scores even higher on practice tests (currently in 10th grade). When asked, they'll both freely tell you they prefer homeschooling.

 

My youngest (8th grade) isn't so fond of homeschooling, but he still can beat most of his peers when it comes to any sort of academic intelligence questioning. In his social groups he's often called, "the smart one."

 

To me, education is key. IF our public school could produce what we're producing without the social ills I see, then my kids would probably be there. It doesn't. Sure, one or two kids do well, but I didn't want to take the chance that mine would be one of them. Plus, to get one as high as my middle son is doing is extremely rare (only 2 I can think of in my 11 years at school). As per stats, we should have a couple every year.

 

My kids are still on the ps Chess Team (boards 1, 3, and 8 respectively - out of 16 competitors - all in high school except my youngest). I'm not 100% against public schools. Many of the teachers have good knowledge, but are hampered by the system they are in and the behavior of too many of the kids.

 

A neighbor of ours just pulled her son out of elementary school. We're one of those school districts that uses EM (Everyday Math). It's horrid. My youngest got in on that (through 4th grade) and is WAY behind his brothers in math capability even now - since it took me a couple of years to catch him up. Sadly, I didn't recognize his lack of ability when he was in school as he was getting A's. I only found out about it when he came home and couldn't do anything without a calculator. Just as the brain is trained for many things in its young, formative years, I think it is the same for some basic math that he missed out on. That's just my opinion, of course, he may just struggle with math. I do know he's as bright or brighter than his siblings in all other subjects though - hence, my opinion stands for me.

[....]

I pulled a 1st grader and K-er out of the #2 school in our state also.

 

My husband thought I was insane also. We did a "trial run" over the summer, became friends with another homeschooling family (who my husband thought was awesome), showed my husband some of the statistics on the HSLDA website, etc. We've been homeschooling for 9 months now and we are set. I asked my kids if they wanted to go back to school and they adamantly said, "No".

 

I also had another parent (who drove my son home from a party) overhear my son telling her son "all about his language arts homeschooling" and how he should try it. :lol:

 

Why did I pull the kids out of school?

 

Hmmm... The oldest kid performs in the 99th percentile on standardized testing and was winning essay contests in 1st grade. She needed someone to completely unhook the reigns and let her go. She's in 2nd grade this year and I think she could hold her own in late 3rd/beg. 4th gr if she were in school.

 

Kid #2 also scores very high on testing, yet has a slight motivation problem and they ended up putting him in "remedial kindergarten". The teacher was saying that he had a "deer in headlights" look in class all the time and he wasn't learning to read. I also found out (after working with him for 9 months) that he has a HUGE math/science aptitude. I think K is mostly right-lobed schoolwork...reading, letters, etc. I'm going to tailor his schoolwork into the math/engineering direction and see where he goes with it.

 

Honestly, after several years of school, you get tired of some things...like the constant fundraisers, getting up at 5 am to get ready for the bus, standing outside 2 hours a day waiting for the bus, driving up to the school because the kids are in the nurse's office wanting to come home, the boy on the bus who was trying to get my daughter to touch his you-know-what, the kid who threatened to "beat the &**" out of my son if he returned to Kindergarten, the lady with the microphone in the lunchroom who was micromanaging how the kids ate, the way the teachers got irritated when your kids worked ahead (although our 1st gr teacher was wonderful), the way my daughter had to sit in class for several hours with a deer tick stuck to her arm because the teacher wouldn't let her call me to remove it (and they wouldn't remove it), the attitudes and fighting/screaming when they came home from school stressed out...

 

I also agree with another poster that school/curriculum at an elementary level is completely geared towards girls - their levels of brain development and their cognition.

 

Homeschooling- if you plan it out and stick with your schedule - can be a LOT less stressful. You can cover ten times more material than you can in school. They also absorb more information when they're not tired/stressed and worrying about what the girl two rows over thinks of the outfit she's wearing today.

 

I also have a 4 yro and 2 yro and they play Mermaids and Legos together all day, sometimes they watch Go Diego Go and there is a huge period of time where they just pass out and sleep.

[....]

:iagree:Creekland...you really summed it up...the teachers are being hampered by the system...arrrrrgh...too much emphasis on standardized testing also...the teachers can't just be teachers.

[Carrie12345]

I pulled my ds out of the brick and mortar school after 4th grade. He completed 5th grade through a cyber charter school. He's now homeschooling 6th grade.

 

I wanted to pull him out after 1st grade, but my ex COMPLETELY freaked out over the idea. Ds has always been academically advanced and socially awkward, but his father was convinced that ps would eventually make him normal. :001_huh:

In the 4th grade, bullying got harder, teacher(s) weren't as understanding of Asperger's Syndrome, and the administration refused to accelerate any of ds's classes. I made my big push and wore my ex down. It wasn't pretty, but it worked!

 

All the time I spent researching made me realize I didn't want my younger kids to go to school. My husband disagreed. I wore him down, too. In fact, dd#1 did a cyber charter for kindergarten while ds was still in regular ps.

 

For us, the cyber charter was like a step-down program that helped reassure my ex and dh. I didn't particularly like it, but it sure was worth it!

 

Can I do better than the school? Even with little kids underfoot?

Well, ds is 11, acing pre-algebra, mastering First Form Latin, greatly improving his writing skills, recently completed a year of grammar in one semester (with mastery), actually enjoys history, makes up his own "extra credit" assignments, has formed meaninful relationships with some really great kids, and finally appears to be comfortable in his own skin.

 

I happen to think it's a success. ;)

[brightside]

Oh my, we tried every "normal route" for my son to stay in school. We did 3 different private schools, a public school with me on the PTO board. But after verbal abuse by teachers (one of which, we found out from his friends routinely called him the Sugar Plum Fairy), the complete refusal to accelerate him (he was reading Harry Potter the summer before first grade), and the fact it felt like he was learning nothing except how to have a bad attitude and torture teachers.

 

My husband finally gave the "just pull him out" order last year before spring break. He was routinely a behavior issue (nothing bad just wouldn't sit still or would read a book during class or correcting the teacher), so they were refusing to let him choose the advanced classes in middle school for his behavior. The sad thing is even in this room of "experts" no one claimed that he was unable to do the work, just that they would not allow him to.

 

It was a sad experience for us, my son even got 2 days in school suspension for telling a teacher that a worksheet was "redundant", because they did the same worksheet at the beginning of the year and then he produced the original worksheet.

[Lolly]

It was suggested to me by a nurse who was helping to treat dd. Then, the twins who were starting K that year told me that it wasn't fair for C to be allowed to stay home. Why couldn't they too? I figured they had a point. So, J was sent off the preschool that year so that I could focus on the girls' studies. The pediatrician told me to try taking him out after he ran a high fever and basically passed out for over 24 hours after every single half day of preschool. Sure enough, he stopped having problems the very day I took him out.:lol:

[Catherine]

Something had to change, and our first year was just with him, and meant to only be a "stop gap" year.

 

Five years and two more kids later, here we are. My son is happy and thriving. He even chose to return to school for ninth grade, but after that, he's home for good. He's a very bright kid, and school simply didn't meet his needs.

[TravelingChris]

We had my oldest in a private school for first. It was a good school as far as they go, but we we going to move and while they had three first grade rooms, they only had two second grade. I didn't think it was right of us to take a space away when we were supposed to be moving less than a month into the year. So we started homeschooling. NOw while I thought the school situation was good, I didn't know until I started how much better homeschooling was. My son really relaxed a lot and our family dynamics became much better. He had done fairly well in the school but apparently it stressed him quite a bit. Once he was home, things were much more smooth.

[EKS]

I pulled my older child from school after first grade because he could not read or count to 10 reliably. There were other issues too, but those were the biggies. We too live in WA and live in one of the top rated districts in the state. Top rated is determined by test scores, not by actual educational quality. Our district has no gifted program (in contrast to one of the other top rated districts) and no good way to deal with kids who exceed the norm. They also use a math program that makes me shudder (TERC Investigations). Because I want my children challenged, I will not put them in the schools here, even though they are supposedly "so good" and even though we spent a heck of a lot more for our house to be in one of the "best" districts.

 

The homeschool program in the public schools here is one bright spot. A huge percentage of the kids in it are *really* bright and being educated at a challenging level. My kids (and I) have found friends and a sense of community there.

 

ETA: Interestingly, the lack of a gifted program seems to have had at least one quantifiable effect. There are two "top" performing districts in our state that actually have fairly similar demographics, right down to how many kids are in each one's single high school. In our district there are usually three or so National Merit finalists each year, whereas in this other district, which has a gifted program, there were, for the years I checked, about 3-4 times more. That is a huge difference!

Edited January 6, 2010 by EKS

[michelle l]

Well, I'd been thinking about it for at least two years. Guess I don't make decisions very quickly!

 

We pulled out of a school that is considered excellent, which was very difficult. We did not have negative experiences, felt very at home there, and really like the teaching staff. Honestly, I think it's a great school.:blink:

 

Sooo, why bring them home? Years of watching my neighbor's children playing in the snow while mine were at school. Seeing how well they got along, as did my SIL's 16 kids, while mine fought. Being wide-awake in bed at night and seeing the years pass before me. Realizing things would be CRAZY busy (homework, extra-curric. activities, school programs) until the kids were out of school and by then it wouldn't matter because they'd be GONE, and wanting to slow it all down. Believing there is more to education than test perfomance and school work. Believing parents have something to offer their children. Feeling increasingly that the school, though well-intentioned, was negatively impacting my family's ability to be together. Tired of meeting demands of school -- wanted more control over our evenings/life. I'm sure there's more.

 

I finally decided I couldn't hurt them too much if we just tried it for a year.:blushing: I am sooo happy we tried it! Yes, our trasition was super hard. I tried to do way too much. We were all frustrated. I cried a LOT. But...now we are rolling along quite nicely. They are more content and are getting along much better. Even my mom noticed that. Our evenings are peaceful!! I am getting to be with them every day and they are happy.

Edited January 6, 2010 by michelle l

[chiguirre]

We pulled ds2 out of ps because of our disastrous experience with their special needs PK. The district wanted to place ds in the autism pullout where he would be the only fully verbal child. Private schools in our area don't accept sn kids and the few schools that could serve ds2 were too far away to commute to and still get ds1 to his school on time. Given the logistics of our situation, dh went along with hsing. Dd came home a year later when she was 4 so that she could participate in ds's hs activities. Although her Montessori school was excellent, it was much easier to have at least 2 kids on the same schedule. Dh wasn't thrilled, but didn't object.

 

Fast forward to this year. Dd is in 1st grade and all of a sudden dh has realized how much she's learned in hs. He's started commenting on how well she's doing in math and reading and how much history and science she's absorbed. He's gone from accepting hsing because there was no practical alternative to supporting it. That's a huge step forward for him!

 

If you can try out hsing for a year, you'll know if it's something that will work for your family or not. You won't irreparably damage a child's education in one year, even if hsing is not a good fit.

[amsunshine]

Sooo, why bring them home? Years of watching my neighbor's children playing in the snow while mine were at school. Seeing how well they got along, as did my SIL's 16 kids, while mine fought. Being wide-awake in bed at night and seeing the years pass before me. Realizing things would be CRAZY busy (homework, extra-curric. activities, school programs) until the kids were out of school and by then it wouldn't matter because they'd be GONE, and wanting to slow it all down. Believing there is more to education than test perfomance and school work. Believing parents have something to offer their children. Feeling increasingly that the school, though well-intentioned, was negatively impacting my family's ability to be together. Tired of meeting demands of school -- wanted more control over our evenings/life.

 

 

 

This was so well-said and really hits home with me. Although we had, in addition, some negative experiences with ps, these were all the same feelings I was having as we considered pulling our dds out.

 

We ultimately pulled our dds out of ps (K and 1st last year following spring break. (They just didn't come back after the break.) We were at an excellent school as far as test scores went, but we were unconvinced it was the right place for us. Both dds were advanced for their ages/grades but we felt the teachers were hostile to our desire to see them challenged and our practice of supplementing their educations at home. We were told point blank that the phonics we were using with our dd in K was "holding her back" from being a better reader and that we should stop doing it. :001_huh: We were seeing our 1st grader bored and unhappy because of the lack of challenge in the classroom. Her teacher was wonderful, but her hands were tied because of how her lessons and schedule were dictated by the administration.

 

DH was on board with the idea of hs -- but I think he might not have been if it hadn't been for the fact that we both had good friends who were successfully homeschooling their children.

 

If you have any friends who are homeschooling -- maybe have them over for dinner to talk about their experiences, their choices. It might help your dh to see hs is a really wonderful option.

[runamuk]

We pulled our daughter out after 2nd grade because ps wasn't meeting her needs. She was a late starter (turned 6 shortly after starting K) and was well ahead of the other students. In K, she was reading on at least a 3rd grade level (the highest they were allowed to test her at) and was writing stories in her morning journal. In first grade, she had a wonderful teacher who was willing to take the extra time Elle needed and work ahead with her. Unfortunately, her hands were tied as to how much help she could give. She was the one that suggested I consider homeschooling. In second grade, she had a nightmare of a teacher. She refused to do anything for her and fought me every step of the way. She often had Elle *watch* the classroom while she stepped out, would have her read to the class and help correct spelling tests - that was her idea of allowing Elle to do advanced work. Elle was bored and was starting to say she hated school. The highlight of her week was going to chess club with the 4th and 5th graders.

 

When we moved to VA, we decided to homeschool. I feel it was the best decision we've ever made. She's working at her own pace and she's no longer bored. She loves being at home with me and her little brother, loves our schedule and is happy. She's slowly developing her own interests and enjoys exploring subjects on her own.

[Tree House Academy]

In 3rd grade, my son (who has adhd and GAD) was being bullied by a child. My son his not the kind to take bullying at all, so he was "running his mouth" right back. That was okay - but then the child threatened to "KILL" him and the principal's response was something like, "oh, come on, they are just 8 years old." UM...NO. That is NOT acceptable. Has she not watched the news??? So, at the end of that year, we pulled him out and have not looked back.

 

Once we got him home though (and he was a straight A student all through public school), we found so many gaps in his learning that it wasn't even FUNNY! A straight A ps student, but he didn't know his multiplication tables. The teacher taped them to the desks so the kids didn't really have to learn them. He was totally lost in English, couldn't spell to save his life, and really struggled with his handwriting. We spent all of last year, honestly, catching him up. Now he is in 5th grade, but in some subjects, he is working at a 4th grade level. We finally got into R&S English (4th grade level) and he is doing WONDERFULLY with it. It is the perfect fit for him and I am so excited about his progress.

[msjones]

I'd been tutoring for homeschoolers and was intrigued. They had so much time, freedom, quiet, flexibility. School is nothing like that.

 

I could teach those homeschoolers right at their level and was so familiar with their needs and progress that I hardly needed to test them. School is nothing like that.

 

We could spend as much time as it took to really immerse ourselves in a math topic or science experiment. Ahhhh.... As a former public school teacher, I felt I had found some kind of little teaching heaven.

 

I loved teaching in public schools. I worked very hard, and believe most families were happy with the teaching I provided.

 

But I had seen an alternative that I couldn't forget. I wanted it for my own boys. So here we are five years after our 'trial run.'

[swellmomma]

I pulled my oldest 2 due to special needs that were causing problems in the classroom. Ds was falling through the cracks, the school was refusing to provide services even though he was Dx as SN. They claimed he wasn't severe enough to qualify, but he was too severe to function in a regular classroom. By the end fo grade 2 at 7 yrs old, he was talking about suicide because he felt too stupid, the school wanted to socially promote him even though he could not even do the work that he was "learning" in grade 2.

 

\Mmy dd was causing daily disturbances in the class which impacted all the children(partly due to her boredom and partly due to her SN). She would not do any work at school so the teacher would send it all home and I would do 4-6 hours of homework with her ever night. SHe had daily detentions, by the end of the year she never got recess or gym class as punishments and that made the problems worse. She ended up with a suspension by that point. Keep in mind this was 1st grade! I pulled her out at the end of that year.

 

We spent year 1 working on behaviour and no academics, years 2-3 were working on academics but slowly rebuilding all that PS had torn down. This is our 4th year and FINALLY I feel like we are making progress in all areas (academic and behaviour).

 

My littles have never been and will never be to PS. I can not stomach the thought of going through with them what I went through with the olders.

[happyhomemaker25]

Before we even got married I told DH I wanted a housefull of kids and I wanted to homeschool them. He was either in or out.

We fostered and I had to send my two older daughters to K and 2nd grade at the Public school. This was my oldest daughters 6th school. She was already a year behind.

At home we were reading aloud from the KJV Bible every night and she read a chapter from a book of her choosing aloud to us before bed.

At school the teacher wanted to have her tested because she was not reading.

Turns out the teacher was putting a lot of pressure on them to read fluently together as a class and she could not keep up with that.

Karly came home every day with stories of the bad kids in her class and all the trouble they got into. Three months later I got a phone call from the teacher telling me she was like the leader of the bad kids. Really? And it took you three months to tell me?? I was furious. I could not help if I did not know there was a problem. Karly told her teacher I threw the notes that were sent home away. COME ON! Call me, talk to me in carpool lane.. something!

My sweet K'er was on her way to being one of the elite pretty popular mean girls. In Kindergarten. Her and another little girl made a little boy pee his pants by teasing him. WHAT?!

Needless to say the day the adoption was finalized we went to the school board and took them out of school. April 28, 2006.

I have never looked back! Kelsie is back to being sweet though sometimes manipulative and Karly is reading just fine and with consistentcy her behavior has changed 100%.

I read my husband snippets of TWTM and he jumped on board in a big hurry. We both knew it would be a better education for our kids!

[Heather in AL]

Honestly, after several years of school, you get tired of some things...like the constant fundraisers, getting up at 5 am to get ready for the bus, standing outside 2 hours a day waiting for the bus, driving up to the school because the kids are in the nurse's office wanting to come home, the boy on the bus who was trying to get my daughter to touch his you-know-what, the kid who threatened to "beat the &**" out of my son if he returned to Kindergarten, the lady with the microphone in the lunchroom who was micromanaging how the kids ate, the way the teachers got irritated when your kids worked ahead, the attitudes and fighting/screaming when they came home from school stressed out...

 

Homeschooling- if you plan it out and stick with your schedule - can be a LOT less stressful. You can cover ten times more material than you can in school. They also absorb more information when they're not tired/stressed and worrying about what the girl two rows over thinks of the outfit she's wearing today.

 

:iagree:This.

 

My kids were finishing grades 3 and 5 and I had had it. All of the above and more. My 5th grade son was being bullied beyond belief and my 3rd grade daughter had been sexually harassed on the playground (where the 4 teachers all sit at a picnic table and let 100 kids run amok). Nothing was done about either situation, despite letters and threats of media attention and attorneys (very long story there).

 

How did I convince my hubby? I'm not sure. He is from France, and had no knowledge of homeschooling. I only had the usual knowledge of a 'pser' does of hsers, meaning practically none, and weren't all hsers supposed to be weird? I had run into a family we knew from way back when (both engineers) and they mentioned they were on their third year of homeschooling. Well, they were 'normal' so I figured I'd look into it some more. I researched and read and kept talking to my dh. He never would read anything I gave him.... none of the books, none of the websites. Finally, I said to him that I wanted to try it for a semester and if it didn't work out, the kids wouldn't be 'that' far behind. Plus, the schools could not refuse them re-entry. He agreed to a trial. That was over four years ago.

 

Within the first two weeks, I was *sold* on homeschooling. I found gaps in both my dc's education that I wasn't aware of. I figured, hey, they are both straight A students, so everything was fine, right? Wrong. My son, a lefty like me, holds his pencil horribly wrong, so his hand cramps within a few short minutes of writing. We have not been able to fix this problem, so he types most of his work. He, after completing 5th grade, could barely write a coherent sentence, and what he DID write was full of spelling errors of the simplest kind. My dd didn't know her multiplication facts. I'm not sure if the teacher taped them to the desk, but she didn't understand that 2 threes was 6 because of multiplication. She also didn't understand fractions. Her math skills were way behind and we still have issues once in a while, even though she is in Algebra and receiving an A so far. Her reading skills were WAY beyond 3rd grade material, yet the 'accelerated reading program' that was mandated by the state was a joke. The student had to take a test on the book they read and after a certain number of perfect scores, they would be approved for the next higher level of book. Well, because of the way the teachers ran the testing schedule in their classrooms (sign up to take the test, but you can't take the test until you have completed your work, and you can't take the test until the person in front of you has taken THEIRS--- and the kids who signed up first were the children whose parents dropped them off at school before the doors even opened, so they were the ones who, sadly, didn't READ anything, so none of the kids got to take tests & raise their approved book level)---sorry, that got messy. Anyway, because of the convoluted rules, my daughter entered K already reading at a first grade level (according to the school's testing program) and when I brought her home after 3rd grade, the school's testing program 'allowed' her to only check out books on a second grade level. :confused: However, on the SAT10 test, she was 99% and was reading the likes of Harry Potter at home.

 

SO, if anyone is still reading (bless your heart!), homeschooling opened the door for success, and allowed my kids to progress at their own levels. They are more relaxed, nicer to each other, nicer to us (the sassiness vanished almost overnight), and are comfortable with themselves.

 

Before our trial semester was over, my dh was completely on board. His only concern was that homeschooling would hurt their chances of going to college. When I relayed info that I found, he was happy to hear that wasn't the case. Now, in our fourth year, he is totally convinced that hs works. He had no clue that the schools in this country were such a mess until I brought the kids home and started teaching them myself (or, rather, because of their ages, I mostly let them self-teach, and I tutor where needed).

 

Maybe if you offer a 'trial run', your dh will be more receptive? The schools CAN'T say no to your kids going back. ;)

[TKDmom]

I'm replying before reading the other replies...

But my reasons sounded similar to yours. I pulled DD out a year ago, in the middle of second grade. She was in a gifted program, but that only meant that she would leave the classroom (during math) twice a week for an hour to go work on a special project--I believe they were planting an organic garden at the time. She loved school, but I think that was mostly for the social aspects. She was having stomach pain daily, hated math, missed (her only 20-minute) recess on a regular basis because she took too long to do any assignment that involved coloring (she colors very detailed pictures).

 

I disliked never knowing what she was doing in school, and how she came home exhausted, hungry, and grumpy. When I read TWTM, it really clicked for me. I thought, "Hey, I could do a better job than they're doing. I can educate her, instead of just doing endless test preparation."

 

My dh was very skeptical when I first started talking about hsing. I have a close fried who has always hs'ed, and frankly, we always thought she was a little odd to hs.

 

I continued to research, and brought home various hs books from the library. After several weeks, I got him to read the first chapter or two of TWTM. It made him realize that there were some real advantages to teaching our kids. He was still concerned about socialization, and he asked me to find him some research on whether or not hs'ed kids could be "normal" ;), which I did.

 

So I went ahead and pulled DD out of school. My relationship with DD has gradually improved, b/c I have time to be with her during he good times of day, as well as the grumpy, tired times of day. But what really cinched dh's support was a couple months after we started to hs. He is a boy scout leader to 14- and 15-yo boys. He was on a camp-out with them one weekend and the boys were telling him about life in Jr. high/high school. It came up that were a lot of kids as young as 6th grade who were having s** at school. DH was pretty horrified, that those kind of things had moved into elementary schools. Whenever I talk to him now about the advantages of hs'ing, he's pretty adamant that we will never send them back, unless something fairly drastic happens to change our minds. He'll tell anyone he knows how much he likes knowing what they are doing for their schoolwork, too.

Edited January 6, 2010 by bonniebeth4

[HSMom2One]

that caused dh and I to pull our little girl out of ps. She had just finished 2nd grade, and we thought it over during the summer. This was a decision we made together, although originally I was the one pushing for it. I think the cincher for dh was talking to another couple that hs's and hearing directly from the dad about how he was unsure at first, but would not turn back for anything.

 

One reason was that we had raised older children (we are a remarried couple), and it was very obvious to us that the ps system had deteriorated substantially over a period of years. A great deal of this is cultural, because dh and I believe that there is a huge moral decline in our nation. It is so obvious at school, as the culture is so much a part of what happens there.

 

Another reason was that our dd is a very social person who got pulled into the hub-bub of chatty girls and their daily dramas. Even in second grade her focus was more on social things than on education, and we were very concerned about it. We did want her to have a social life, but providing the best education possible was the top priority. After doing our research, we realized that both were possible through hs'ing.

 

For us, the biggest reason for pulling our dd out of ps was that we wanted her to have a complete education that included our Christian faith. We had a strong desire to weave this into the curriculum, presenting history (for instance) with factual information on how people of faith were led to do certain things, study and discover certain things, stand on their faith during courageous times, etc. We wanted to be able to pray during study time if we chose to, combine our faith with science lessons...study the Bible with reading and history, and on and on. (Our dd LOVES this by the way...) We couldn't come close to anything like this by merely supplementing our faith along side a secular education. We know that many people do this successfully, but for our dd and our family situation at this time, we felt that we had to take the big plunge and do hs'ing. At some point we may opt to send dd to the private Classical Christian school where I teach part-time, but we are not ready for that yet. We are enjoying hs'ing tremendously!

 

But getting back to why we made the decision in the first place -- I had read about hs'ing and had been considering it already when the final straw occurred during the spring of dd's last year of ps experience. The little hub-bub of girls had been struggling to get along and so a parent volunteer, the principal and the 2nd grade teacher had agreed to get them involved in a special class. The parent was a yoga expert and was working with the girls on ways to relax and deal with conflict. All of this happened without our knowledge or consent -- we found out about it afterward. For one, we did not know that the girls' conflict had reached a point of needing special intervention, and we were not informed that our dd would be taught yoga and other spiritual principles in school. To make a long story short, I challenged the school on this situation, stating that as a parent I was very troubled by the fact that they could handle conflict resolution with my child in this way without my permission. I brought up the fact that I would obviously not be allowed to volunteer my time to pull these girls aside and teach them Biblical principles on dealing with conflict, so why was it okay for a parent to introduce yoga and eastern mysticism to them? It was through this situation that I learned more about the fact that ps has assumed the right to make decisions for all students that supersede the rights of parents. (Don't get me started on that one now, or I'll start ranting.)

 

All in all, I believe that ps cannot meet the needs of every child and every family. In our society we need to have options in educating our children. Hs'ing isn't for everyone, but for those that choose it, it is an amazing and rich lifestyle. After my dd made the adjustment to being educated at home, she loved it. Our family will never regret taking this journey.

 

Blessings,

Lucinda

[elise1mds]

We pulled my son out because of his needs. He has Asperger's and anxiety, and when the anxiety acts up, it manifests as ADHD symptoms.

 

It started showing up when he was in preschool and was the kid who was throwing blocks at other kids' heads during school but then would come home and "detox" by throwing fits so horrible he was literally throwing himself into walls/furniture/the floor. He had no remorse. It was completely awful. The turning point was the day I came to pick him up from preschool and the teacher politely informed me that he'd been in the principal's office again that day and that if the trend continued, he would have to find another school (we had put him in a private school since I knew he couldn't handle public and I thought he would be able to cope in the smaller setting). I cried and then sought help. He was diagnosed with ADHD about a month later but the pediatrician waffled between that and Asperger's. Since there are no medications for Asperger's, we tried some ADHD meds. They worked but only temporarily. Then he started kindergarten. It too was awful. The teacher had no idea how to handle him (or kindergarteners in general, IMHO), so I became the parent that was getting letters or calls every week asking me how they should handle X or informing me that he did Y to Z kid. He wasn't happy and neither was I. I had a good friend who had just read The Well-Trained Mind and she loaned it to me. I got halfway through it and realized that it was something I could actually DO. We suggested the idea to my son, and he got excited about not having to deal with classmates on a regular basis.

 

We started homeschooling in August 2009 and haven't looked back. We've stopped his ADHD meds, since they were only curbing anxiety symptoms anyway and his anxiety flares only rarely now, and we've even been able to stop going to the biweekly therapy appointments and go on a p.r.n. basis for those. I've been able to work on some of his sensory issues, his handwriting, and get him back into swimming, which he loved but I couldn't do before because of the daily after-school meltdowns. Sometimes other people ask me if he's going to go back to school someday, and I tell them that we'll see, but I don't think he'll ever go back to PS. He really, really likes being at home.

 

DD, on the other hand, is a toss-up. She thrives in the school environment and has a different personality altogether than DS. I may keep her in the private school. Enrollment isn't until February, so I have another month or so to decide. We'll see!

 

Good luck on your decision. Sorry about writing a novel... it just all came out!

[kpupg]

What made you decide to do so? And how did you get your spouse on board?

 

In short -- both our kids had academic issues in the school they attended. As in inadequate academics. DH was very reluctant, but it finally got bad enough he was willing to give home schooling a try. Success would have been hard to miss, given where we were coming from, but a few months' success did convince DH that home schooling was good for our family. Details follow, if you want to read the gory stuff LOL ...

 

Our son was being starved to death intellectually. His last year in school was 4th grade and he learned exactly nothing that year. It was a bad teacher that made that year so very very bad. We tried working with the teacher for enrichment/acceleration/whatever, with no results. The administration at that school had a well-earned reputation for not accomodating advanced students, so we knew the situation wouldn't get better curriculum-wise, even if the teachers were better in future years.

 

In addition, our daughter, 2 years younger, was being allowed to skate by without really learning important things. In math, for example, she did not really understand the concept of place value, yet was able to make straight As in her schoolwork on adding/subtracting 2- and 3-digit numbers. Again, we brought our concerns to the teacher, who brushed us off with "she's doing great, there's no problem." I began after-schooling dd on the math so she would have the understanding she needed.

 

DH was very very very very reluctant, but at last agreed to try home schooling for one year, then re-evaluate. By Christmas of that school year, DH told me that we were going to continue home schooling indefinitely.

 

 

:hurray:

 

 

Now my kids are middle- and high-school age. Home schooling older kids is VERY hard WORK. It is a full-time job, much more involved than what we did that first year of home schooling. But it's worth it. On my deathbed, I will be glad I did it.

 

Karen