LBC Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 (edited) I answered our home phone today. I noticed that it was an unfamiliar area code, and a man's voice asked for my 16 year old dd. I handed her the phone, but whispered that I didn't know who it was, and that she should be careful. When she got off the phone, she said that he told her she had sent him a text to pick her up from the bus stop. He apparently called her cell phone, and our home phone number was on her voice mail as an alternate contact. He told her that he was supposed to pick someone up from the bus, and thought that's what the text was about. Dd's understanding of the conversation was that he had somehow received a text from her by mistake. Dd has checked her outgoing texts, and there's no record of a text being sent to his number. This doesn't sit right with me on so many levels. Dd goes to the public high school half time to take math, science, and a couple of electives. She takes the school bus, and has a bit of a walk from where the bus picks her up and drops her off. Now this person has our home phone number, which means he can do a reverse look-up and find our home address. With a home address, there's a local school bus website that allows anybody to look up the bus schedule for drop off and pick up points. I did a reverse look-up of the phone number, and it comes up as unlisted. The area code shows as a new one for the Vancouver (BC) area, which is 3 hours from here, but it also seems to be an alternate area code for our area. I'm not sure how to handle this. Am I over thinking this? I'm not one to worry about these sorts of things, but I can't imagine how this person could have received a text from my dd, and if he had, why not just text her back? I suppose he could have dialed the wrong number when he called her cell phone, but I thought that if someone received a text, that number would be in the phone's memory, and they could just automatically dial it. Should I do something? If so, what? :confused: Lori ETA: I took the advice to call the number. It didn't require me to dial long distance, which means that this person is local. The phone took me to a cell phone service automated voice messaging system. I left a message, explained who I was, why I was concerned about my dd receiving a call about a text she had no record of having sent, either intentionally, or accidentally. I left my number, and asked him to return my call. Dd won't be walking anywhere for a while. Yikes! Edited December 16, 2009 by LBC Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I would call the local police department non-emergency phone number, and ask to speak with a detective...it sounds pretty fishy to me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rose in BC Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I think I'd phone the police. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brilliant Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 That's so creepy. I have a 16yo dd and would be freaked out, too. First thing I would do: change my home phone number, and dd's cell phone #. Then I would be VERY careful with her for the next few weeks, as in waiting with her at the bus stop or driving her to/from school myself. I just don't see how it could be an honest mistake. It sounds too weird. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysticamethyst Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I would call the police, if she doesn't know the number or the person sounds creepy to me. Not worth the risk of a dangerous situation if it can be avoided. Good luck. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacy in NJ Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I would keep the number for reference, but other than making sure your dd has a companion or a ride from the bus stop, I'd let it go. She should try to be a little on guard and make sure she's not alone in a vulnerable place for, well, ever. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Yep, I'd call the police, and I'd be transporting my dd for a while. Sorry this happened to her and to you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Hmm... I think I'd be inclined to call the number back and speak to this person myself. Ask how he got your number and why he was calling your daughter, to get the information from him first hand. If he is a shady guy, then clearly seeing that she has a *very* involved mother will likely send him in a different direction very quickly. And if nothing else, you'll be better able to get a handle on the situation by hearing his reasons first hand. I also think calling the local police station and asking for their advice is a good idea. Certainly can't hurt. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Prudent Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I too would call the police to alert them to this person and would take my daughter to the bus stop for a couple weeks. This creep is pretty motivated to have called your home phone number already having done his homework and knowing your daughter's name. It's not like he was randomly calling numbers out of the phone book hoping a young girl would answer. It's not something to be paranoid about, but I do think you shouldn't ignore that it happened. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Hmm... I think I'd be inclined to call the number back and speak to this person myself. Ask how he got your number and why he was calling your daughter, to get the information from him first hand. If he is a shady guy, then clearly seeing that she has a *very* involved mother will likely send him in a different direction very quickly. And if nothing else, you'll be better able to get a handle on the situation by hearing his reasons first hand. I also think calling the local police station and asking for their advice is a good idea. Certainly can't hurt. ITA with all of this. If this guy's on the up and up, he'll be happy to talk to you. Your DD also needs to make sure she gets your home number off her voicemail. If someone wants to reach her, they can leave a message! :grouphug: Scary, scary stuff. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ChristusG Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Things like that creep me out. As someone else mentioned, maybe you could call the man back yourself and speak with him? I'm not confrontational at all, so I'm not sure I could do that, but maybe you could? I'd definitely keep a close watch on things for a bit. And not let her walk to/from the bus stop alone. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HSMom2One Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 That is odd. If this man really got a text from a girl he knows asking for him to pick her up, he would have known right away when he called your daughter's cell phone (and heard her voicemail) that it wasn't who he was expecting. Especially when he heard the alternate number. I would call him back and ask some questions. From now on, if any other adults (that you don't know) call for your daughter, I would say, "This is her mother, how can I help you?" I'm in agreement about calling the police. If nothing else, reporting it would document the incident if anything should develop up ahead. But rather than you placing a call to the man as a follow-up, why not ask your dh to do it? There is something much more intimidating about the sound of a man's voice than a mother's voice over the phone. Of course we moms can be like bears looking out for our cubs, but the truth is that our voices over the phone are not always the best indication of our strength. And if this guy is a weirdo, it may possibly add fuel to the fire. Blessings, Lucinda (Mom of a police officer, ex-wife of a police officer) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyboys Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Hmm... I think I'd be inclined to call the number back and speak to this person myself. Ask how he got your number and why he was calling your daughter, to get the information from him first hand. If he is a shady guy, then clearly seeing that she has a *very* involved mother will likely send him in a different direction very quickly. And if nothing else, you'll be better able to get a handle on the situation by hearing his reasons first hand. I also think calling the local police station and asking for their advice is a good idea. Certainly can't hurt. I disagree. If it is a guy who's made an honest mistake, that will quickly enough be figured out. But, if he's a predator, trolling around somehow to make contact with teen girls, he's no doubt got skills to deflect this kind of contact from another adult. It might make OP's family more obvious to him. And even though OP is an involved parent, she's not with dd every minute. Your best bet is to get this info to the police. They have the know-how to follow it up. And they might try something to get him to reveal himself that wouldn't happen if a parent has already alerted him to suspicion. Kwim? Sending him in a different direction might protect one child but leave others vulnerable. I'd get the police on it immediately. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn in OH Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Definitely get the police involved. Don't let your daughter take the bus for a while. Change your phone numbers. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
happi duck Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 This is a matter for the police, don't ignore that 'something's not right' feeling. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peek a Boo Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Sending him in a different direction might protect one child but leave others vulnerable. I'd get the police on it immediately. :iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
melissel Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 And they might try something to get him to reveal himself that wouldn't happen if a parent has already alerted him to suspicion. Kwim? Sending him in a different direction might protect one child but leave others vulnerable.[/b] Hmm, these are very good points too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
FriedClams Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I would call the local police department non-emergency phone number, and ask to speak with a detective...it sounds pretty fishy to me. :iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lisabees Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Creepy, creepy. Watch yourselves. :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I agree with others to involve the police, but what alarms me is that he asked for her by NAME. If her name is on her out-going voice mail message, then she should change that pronto!!! Where we live, you also have the option to have your cell phone caller ID be "private" so that no name is given. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MelanieM Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Your best bet is to get this info to the police. They have the know-how to follow it up. And they might try something to get him to reveal himself that wouldn't happen if a parent has already alerted him to suspicion. Kwim? Sending him in a different direction might protect one child but leave others vulnerable. I'd get the police on it immediately. Good points. Though I still think I'd want to call myself, as I'm not sure I would be ok just assuming the police would follow up on it. So I guess the best course of action could depend on how the police responded to a call of this sort. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lovemyboys Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Good points. Though I still think I'd want to call myself, as I'm not sure I would be ok just assuming the police would follow up on it. So I guess the best course of action could depend on how the police responded to a call of this sort. Someone here mentioned speaking with a detective. That sounded good, getting further into the police station than the front desk. OP could also ask for special crimes /sexual predator section to relay this incident. Follow up in a few days to see what action was taken. Since OP found that the number is relatively new, he could be new to the area and trying "tricks" that have proven effective elsewhere. Hopefully it's just a random weird moment. But I have a friend whose 7 yo dd was nearly picked up by a car full of young men years ago near a bus stop. That creepy 6th sense kicked in and she got quickly home. On the other side of the country, we know a man who is close friends with a couple whose dd was taken on the walk home from school. It's been 20 years, I remember it in the news. That man is VERY careful with his young boys. I would call police detective. I would follow up. I would keep dd off the bus for a while and I would change routine a bit. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tammyla Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 :iagree: I agree with others to involve the police, but what alarms me is that he asked for her by NAME. If her name is on her out-going voice mail message, then she should change that pronto!!! Where we live, you also have the option to have your cell phone caller ID be "private" so that no name is given. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LizzyBee Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I would file a police report. If he is trolling, his information may pop up in another report, but if no-one reports him, he may not get caught until something bad happens. As someone else said, if he did make an honest mistake, the police will be able to verify that. If it were my dd, I'd be driving her to and from school for awhile. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I would also have her remove her home phone number from her cell phone. Cell phones are much harder to track, home numbers are not. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grace'smom Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 Please, please call the police and tell us all you did it! We work with the neighborhood watch where I live and they continuously report that people are afraid to contact them when something happens, and they can't help if they don't know... This is exactly the sort of thing they say that people will brush off when they shouldn't. They would rather you call than not call. The person who did this may be on parole, or already being watched by the police. By reporting the incident and the phone number you could give them much needed information. If anything, it leaves a paper trail that may help in the future. And if it was a mistake, the police will quickly figure that out. If it is a mistake there will be no harm done in letting the police verify it. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tricia Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I think you are doing the right thing in not having her walk for a while. But I would go further than that. It is my opinion that you won't want to let your guard down for a while. Things like this totally freak me out too. I think having 9 daughters has something to do with my phobia but I would be careful. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
danybug Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 I agree with all of the posts. One other thing to consider, by calling the police you mind find that this could link to another potential incident that has been reported. And you could be helping them track someone. Any police department would be glad to have a parent erring on the side of caution. Good luck and stay safe! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted December 16, 2009 Share Posted December 16, 2009 ....by calling the police you mind find that this could link to another potential incident that has been reported. And you could be helping them track someone.... Good point! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 I called the police. They were very pleasant. They started a file, and will do a trace on the number. They told me to call them again if this person tries to contact dd on either number. I don't think I'll change our phone number, since any personal information that could be gained by a creepy guy would already have been accessed. I'll just be very careful, and drive dd to and from school. Thanks for all the help. Sometimes when our gut tells us something is wrong, we just need someone to nudge us toward action. Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 See...this doesn't add up. If your dd didn't know him, then HOW would he know her name and her home phone number. If he had gotten a text from her, wouldn't he have only had her cell number to call? Does her cell phone voice mail happen to say, "you have reached first name, last name" by any chance? If so, he could have looked her up that way - by last name and just asking for her when someone answered. I find it creepy and I would have dh call that cell number (the man's) repeatedly until the guy answers. Maybe even try calling it from dd's cell. I'd also get the police involved. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LBC Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 Does her cell phone voice mail happen to say, "you have reached first name, last name" by any chance? If so, he could have looked her up that way - by last name and just asking for her when someone answered. Yes, her cell phone voice mail had a message with her first name and her home phone number. I've told her to change the message so that our home number isn't given. The real mystery is how he ended up with her cell number, since she definitely didn't text him. I've already called the police, and they've followed up. There doesn't seem to be much that they can do. They told me that if he calls again, I can hit *57 to have the phone company perform a trace, but because it's a cell number, the police don't seem to have any better access than I do (or they're not trying very hard). Lori Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I would call the local police department non-emergency phone number, and ask to speak with a detective...it sounds pretty fishy to me. :iagree: They can check into the phone number and find out whom it is registered.....AND if they deem sufficient evidence they can go further and get copies of text messages this phone received to see if it is even remotely legit. The ONLY scenario I can see being innocent is the wild coincidence that he misdialed when he was returning the other call. Seems like a legit person would double check that before calling an alternate number. Frankly....even if it turns out to be legit somehow...I'd probably have that alternate number nixed. People who need it will already know it (so she can simply say call my house), those that don't know it don't need it. The only bright spot would be that most people who would have harm in their mind aren't going to call and freak her out first. Normally scary, but somehow reassuring in this case. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Governess Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 My first thought was to be suspicious. But then again, maybe this guy was supposed to pick up a woman he doesn't know well from the bus stop (a son's new girlfriend, etc.), got a text from her that she was there, and then dialed your dd's number on accident when he was trying to call this woman back for more information. Then he got your dd's name and other phone number and so called looking for her. If this was a child predator of some sort, it sure seems like a strange way to make contact. But who knows? :confused: Did he try to get other information from her? What was his reaction when your dd told him he had the wrong person? I guess this is where talking to the police will come in handy; they would be able to identify suspicious behavior better than we could. It *is* weird, and you might never know what really happened. And it sounds like you have taken some great precautions. One other thing might be to have your dh record a message on your dd's cell phone with a generic message and leave it on there for a while in case there is more to this story and the guy tries to call back. I hope it was just an innocent mistake!!! :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I think I'd phone the police. :iagree: They'll probably have someone tailing the bus for a bit, to watch for creepy characters. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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