Laura Corin Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I have a cleaning lady at the moment, as my arms are messed up. She's nice and reasonably good at her job. She's smelly though - enough so that we have to open the windows after she leaves. That's fine at this time of year, but will not be convenient in the cold weather. Is there anything I can do (apart from using it as a teaching moment in the hygiene education of my pre-teen)? Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Give her a nice basket of bath soaps, bubbles and a fancy stick of deodorant for a Christmas gift. :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Give her a nice basket of bath soaps, bubbles and a fancy stick of deodorant for a Christmas gift. :D Or as a "Thank You" for doing such a great job since the need is more urgent. If you do it tastefully; maybe add a plant or chocolate and tea, she might not think anything is up. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I've had some cleaning ladies that smoke, and even though they didn't smoke at our house, there was some odor left behind. It wasn't bad enough for me to get rid of them, but I could deal with that better than B.O. I don't know of any way to nicely tell someone that they stink, so I'd have to find a new cleaning lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Stacie Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 It may be cultural. I've met quite a few people who have decent hygiene, but still have strong body odor. She may not be able to prevent it, if that's the case. I'm a queasy person, so she'd have to go. I wouldn't feel like my home was clean if it still smelled after the cleaning person left. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
adams101 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I have the same question, but it is the in-laws! They stayed the night last weekend. I can't stand it when they are in my house, or when they bring over Christmas gifts. They all smell! I've been tempted to leave them outside to air out before bringing the gifts into the house. That would be hard to explain to the kids though.:glare: I won't go to their house unless I absolutely have to because it makes me sick! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 I like the smelly good gift set idea. There's no kind way to say, 'wow you stink!' So, that's pretty well out. Other than finding a new lady, I'm not sure you have too many options. Did you get her through a finder service? If so, you could call them and explain your delima, hopefully they would be nice enough not to say WHO said she stunk. There are medical conditions that lead to BO, she might not be able to help it (iow, even the gift basket might not help). Maybe you could burn some candles or spray deodorizer after she leaves? If she can't help it, I'd hate to think of her losing a job :( Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tangerine Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Is she part of a company? If so, I think you could bring it up with an owner or supervisor as kindly as possible. Just say you're sensitive to it, and ask if there another person available to clean your house. My mom's cleaning lady licks her fingers when she folds her laundry. Like she's turning pages...but it's laundry. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
justamouse Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Are you keeping her because you know she needs the work? Is she from a service? I would give her a basket as a thank you because I would be afraid she didn't have the $ to buy soap. But, if she still didn't use it, I would look for someone else. I don't wear deodorant and I make sure I never smell like that so it could be effort on her part. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ibbygirl Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 Ay poor cleaning lady. I feel sorry for her because obviously due to the nature of her job she is going to sweat and get dirty too. Does she clean other houses before she comes to yours?? That could contribute to the stink factor. Is it a matter of the nature of her job do you think or is she truly un-hygenic? If yours is the first house and she's showing up all stinky and smelly then yeah maybe a nice gift basket is in order. ;) I like the idea of adding in a variety of objects so it's not so obvious. Maybe a nice designer fragrance gift set from Marshalls or something?? Good luck. I can't stand b.o. either. It gives me vicious headaches. :ack2: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 When we lived overseas we did a lot of traveling, and I noticed B.O. was way more acceptable in Europe than it is in the states. People just don't bathe as often, and any time it came up in discussion Americans were considered "obsessed with cleanliness." Plus, the water rates are sky high, another incentive to delay taking a shower. Is this the case in Scotland as well? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Macrina Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 You could use the services of this website! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lionfamily1999 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 You could use the services of this website! Oh my! :blink: Wow, that just seems really....... mean....... I get where the idea for that site came from, but...... owch! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted October 9, 2009 Share Posted October 9, 2009 (edited) Per my dh who has had to have these conversations with employees. "We have an issue with your BO/perfume. It is creating an uncomfortable work environment for others. Employees are not permitted to make an uncomfortable work environment for others. How can you resolve this issue to better your and everyone elses work environment?" yes. This is was an actual conversation. As for your maid - I'd get another or call her boss. I'd be nice but I wouldn't feel my house was clean and I'd be nauseated. Eta: I'd give a basket like mouse suggested "just in case" there's a need issue. That's great! But yeah if it wasn't used I don't know that I could handle it for long. Edited October 10, 2009 by Martha Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 You could use the services of this website! :lol::lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Rat Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 That's a tough one, Laura. You've gotten some good suggestions. I worked with a lady who wore so much foundation face makeup that she left traces of it everywhere-legal documents, telephones, office equipment. I never could get up the nerve to say something to her but wished I had. I know she had self esteem issues and I would have loved to tell her she didn't need so much gunk. She really was a lovely woman. You're in Scotland, right? Is is a cultural thing? Sometimes those type of differences can't be mended, in which case, you'd need to let her go. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 10, 2009 Author Share Posted October 10, 2009 It may be cultural. I've met quite a few people who have decent hygiene, but still have strong body odor. She may not be able to prevent it, if that's the case. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 10, 2009 Author Share Posted October 10, 2009 When we lived overseas we did a lot of traveling, and I noticed B.O. was way more acceptable in Europe than it is in the states. People just don't bathe as often, and any time it came up in discussion Americans were considered "obsessed with cleanliness." Plus, the water rates are sky high, another incentive to delay taking a shower. Is this the case in Scotland as well? I shower every day, so I would notice if I were surrounded by stinky people. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katilac Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 If she does the gift basket, adding in other things to make it less obvious would defeat the point. That only has a chance of working if it actually hints at the problem; you want her to think something is up. imo, the only thing that works in these cases is a direct conversation, a la Martha's dh. I have never seen hints or gifts do the trick, but I have seen "You need to address some hygiene issues" do the trick. so, if there's an agency involved, I'd probably call them. if not, I admit that I wouldn't have the cojones to do it myself; I'd probably just say I didn't need her anymore. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted October 10, 2009 Author Share Posted October 10, 2009 so, if there's an agency involved, I'd probably call them. if not, I admit that I wouldn't have the cojones to do it myself; I'd probably just say I didn't need her anymore. I suspect I'm going to change to another company. I'll just say my hand is a lot better and I don't need her any more. Thanks Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RanchGirl Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 What an awful situation! I wouldn't be able to live with the smell either. But it's too bad that you can't speak to her. You would think that she would rather know and try to work on it than to lose the job. I would be uncomfortable bringing it up too though. But I might try. Maybe she figures why shower before work, I'll just work up a sweat cleaning houses anyway... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
eternalknot Posted October 10, 2009 Share Posted October 10, 2009 I have an inlaw with this same problem. In her case, it's due to poor hygiene exacerbating her cultural norms. Her kids acknowledge it, and will call her on it when it's particularly stifling but otherwise "let it be" ... I used to think this was so rude, but in time I came to appreciate their honesty to her. This inlaw is in the workforce, coming into close contact with strangers and colleagues alike on a very regular basis. I'd sure want to know, if it were me - kwim? Whether you keep the housecleaner or dismiss her, I'd still be somewhat honest with the daughter about why you no longer will require their service. You can't be the only person who has noticed the body odor. And even though it's difficult to hear unflattering things about the people we love, sometimes it's the kinder thing to be told after all. Is there a way you and the cleaner can both save face here? You can let the daughter know that your arm is improving and "for now" you won't be needing a cleaner. You could follow that up with an honest review of their service: very happy with the cleaning, but won't be able to use them in the future should your needs require it. Blame your sensitive nose whilst acknowledging that the nature of the job is a sweaty, dirty one and wish them well. I just keep going back to: I'd want to be told, if it were me or my employee. Even if that employee was my mom. Especially if that were the only problem a client had with our services. Difficult place to be either way :grouphug: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 Ay poor cleaning lady. I feel sorry for her because obviously due to the nature of her job she is going to sweat and get dirty too. Does she clean other houses before she comes to yours?? That could contribute to the stink factor. Is it a matter of the nature of her job do you think or is she truly un-hygenic? If yours is the first house and she's showing up all stinky and smelly then yeah maybe a nice gift basket is in order. I chatted with her about her schedule last week and I'm her first house on Wednesday. She doesn't have a good diet (seems to live on Coke) and is quite overweight, but this is a cool climate. I suspect she's just not bathing. I'm going to ask a friend about her cleaner. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tex-mex Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Oooh, that is a tough one. Could it be due to health issues? Or poor self image? I'd be honest and tell the boss (daughter) what you thought politely and tell her why you are switching companies. It may be an issue with others? I feel bad for the lady, tho'. :confused: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elizabeth Conley Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I find that my nose is quite sensitive, and other people often smell pretty strong to me. I keep this to myself mostly, because I view it as more my problem than theirs. Many people leave their damp clothes in the washer for a bit too long before transferring them to the dryer. This causes the laundry to "sour". Later, when the person is warm from exertion, the smell of the sour laundry causes a burning sensation in my nose. I have to assume the wearer is blissfully unaware of this odor, because I'd be desperate to shed such clothing. Different ethnicities use different soaps, hair products and scents. Often the somewhat foreign scent is a shock to my nose. It reminds me of walking up the back stairs of my first apartment building, and catching a whiff from each household's kitchen as I passed. I could definitely find my way up those stair blindfolded, and tell you which household was behind each door. When I'm out and about, I find that people's odors tell me a lot about what they've been doing and how they live. I've decided to be curious, rather than judgmental. I've decided to "listen" to the smells, the way I learned to listen to sounds when I was trying to fall asleep in an open squad bay with 45 other occupants. As a young Marine, I learned that trying to tune out the sounds of the other occupants or the noisy base was impractical. Instead of tuning out the sounds, I learned to pay close attention to each one, analyze what it was, what it meant, and then go on to the next sound. I'd always fall asleep within a few minutes if I did this, while those who considered the sounds an "intrusion" tossed and turned indefinitely. Now that I consider the smells of people informative, rather than something to appreciate, accept or reject, I'm more content in my relationships. The smell of an illness, hard work, bad diet or deprivation don't strike me as a cruel assault on my delicate sensibilities. Instead, it's just information about a fellow being. With time, patience and further observation, I may be able to use what I learn in some positive way. I doubt that gifting this lady with fancy soap products will be helpful. Maybe after you get to know her better, should you choose to get to know her better, you'll find out what's causing the odor that bothers you. Then you can deal with the situation in a mutually pleasing way. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rebecca VA Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 What a beautiful and caring post, Elizabeth! Thank you. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 She doesn't have a good diet (seems to live on Coke) and is quite overweight, but this is a cool climate. She may have unknown diabetes. I have met fragrant, thirsty, obese middle-aged ladies who are otherwise well dressed and the first thing I do it dip their urine. I have diagnosed many with this presentation. The coke cycle is common, and I've not seen it with other soft drinks (although I have seen it with other drinks). Something about the taste/effect of coke. Amazingly, these people can walk around for quite some time with very high sugars. I have a completely untested theory that those who try to wet their whistles with water get attention sooner, because they drop their sodium and get weak and seek attention sooner. HTH Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I shower every day, so I would notice if I were surrounded by stinky people. Laura I know exactly what you mean...it's a definite problem here in the spring and summer. I feel your pain. ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
In the Rain Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Give her a nice basket of bath soaps, bubbles and a fancy stick of deodorant for a Christmas gift. :D :lol: Clearly, we are sisters. This was my very first thought also! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quad Shot Academy Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 :lol: Clearly, we are sisters. This was my very first thought also! :lol::001_huh::lol: I thought that was an odd thing to say, then I realized who you are! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I totally agree with the "nose sensitivity" issue -- I can smell nasty sour towels while my dh can NOT! I think some people's noses are much more sensitive than others'. My wonderful cousin came back from a year-long study in Europe with the idea that showering daily and washing clothing (as often as we do in America) was no longer a good idea. I know there are differing opinions on this, and I'm not looking to start an argument! I just think that American noses are so used to things smelling (or not smelling) a certain way that when we are around people of other cultures, we notice it. The diabetic comments below are important too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Laura Corin Posted November 4, 2009 Author Share Posted November 4, 2009 My wonderful cousin came back from a year-long study in Europe with the idea that showering daily and washing clothing (as often as we do in America) was no longer a good idea. I know there are differing opinions on this, and I'm not looking to start an argument! I just think that American noses are so used to things smelling (or not smelling) a certain way that when we are around people of other cultures, we notice it. Husband is the one with the sensitive nose - he's often surprised by what I don't smell. This lady is the first person whose smell I've had a problem with in Scotland. Laura Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BikeBookBread Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 Husband is the one with the sensitive nose - he's often surprised by what I don't smell. This lady is the first person whose smell I've had a problem with in Scotland. Laura :blushing: {embarrased} That's what I get for not paying attention to the "location".... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mad Jenny Flint Posted November 4, 2009 Share Posted November 4, 2009 I would fire her, and quickly. Whether she can help it or not. You are hiring her to make your house smell better. She is not doing her job. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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