LauraGB Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Opinions? We belong to fairly conservative hs group. We, as a family, are a bit less so, but enjoy our group very much. Dd has a tshirt she wants to wear (everywhere :glare:) that says "Team Jacob" (Twilight) on it and ds has a shirt that says "WWIJD", as in What Would Indiana Jones Do. I encourage them not to wear these particular shirts to any of the group functions because I don't want to offend anyone. Dc think I'm nuts. This may be true, but my thought is that they could wear anything else in thier closets, lets just err on the side of not stirring the pot. Oh, and fwiw, I'm the one who bought the shirts. I happen to like them very much, and if I were a person who wore tshirts with writing on them, I would trade the Jacob one for Ed and definitely wear the WWIJD. Just not to functions with this particular homeschool group. What do you think? Am I being silly? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
H.S. Burrow Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Opinions? We belong to fairly conservative hs group. We, as a family, are a bit less so, but enjoy our group very much. Dd has a tshirt she wants to wear (everywhere :glare:) that says "Team Jacob" (Twilight) on it and ds has a shirt that says "WWIJD", as in What Would Indiana Jones Do. I encourage them not to wear these particular shirts to any of the group functions because I don't want to offend anyone. Dc think I'm nuts. This may be true, but my thought is that they could wear anything else in thier closets, lets just err on the side of not stirring the pot. Oh, and fwiw, I'm the one who bought the shirts. I happen to like them very much, and if I were a person who wore tshirts with writing on them, I would trade the Jacob one for Ed and definitely wear the WWIJD. Just not to functions with this particular homeschool group. What do you think? Am I being silly? I don't think you're being silly. In fact, your group sounds like our group - which I don't associate with too much for these kinds of issues. :glare: I would (and have) allowed my kids to wear such shirts to park days. For museum visits or other field trips, I would ask that they wear something nicer. I need to find me a Team Jacob shirt! :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I had a similar dilemma with my ds over his Pokemon, Bakugan shirts, and one that says "I cry for joy on the last day for school" wearing them to church youth group (we don't attend the church) and a homeschool group (that we are just joining). We had a discussion about how people may judge you, or your attitude, unfairly because of the clothing you choose. I wasn't really concerned about what the adults think, but more about being ostracized by his peers. After our conversation he came out ready for church wearing his Pokemon shirt. I decided to let it be his choice. These are the things he is interested in, the school shirt is his sense of humor, it sort of defines who he is at this point. If someone chooses not to accept him based upon his clothing choice or make a ruckus about it, well, that's not a very christian thing to do anyway. "love your neighbor as yourself". Then I almost laughed because he is my child. I opted to go with a different style of clothing in high school. It was part of my personality and I really chose to dress differently as a social experiment to see who my real friends were. Found out real quick. Unless there is a requirement about clothing for this particular group I wouldn't worry about offending someone. People can always find something to be offended about. If it's a matter of conviction for your dc to be themselves and they can handle any fallout I'd say let it be. Just My humble opinion. PS: I did tell my son he has to wear a different shirt next time we meet with the homeschool group, only because he's worn the same one twice in a row, I'd like them to at least know he owns other shirts. (team Edward) :D Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TammyinTN Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Opinions? We belong to fairly conservative hs group. We, as a family, are a bit less so, but enjoy our group very much. Dd has a tshirt she wants to wear (everywhere :glare:) that says "Team Jacob" (Twilight) on it and ds has a shirt that says "WWIJD", as in What Would Indiana Jones Do. I encourage them not to wear these particular shirts to any of the group functions because I don't want to offend anyone. Dc think I'm nuts. This may be true, but my thought is that they could wear anything else in thier closets, lets just err on the side of not stirring the pot. Oh, and fwiw, I'm the one who bought the shirts. I happen to like them very much, and if I were a person who wore tshirts with writing on them, I would trade the Jacob one for Ed and definitely wear the WWIJD. Just not to functions with this particular homeschool group. What do you think? Am I being silly? Nope your not being silly. I have a rule here...t-shirts for home and playground, polo's for going anywhere out. :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Murphy101 Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I want a Team Jacob shirt! And yes, I'd probably give the same advice to my kids (who I haven't let read my Twilgiht books yet and who probably won't ever want to read them anyways.) teen outing - okay group outing - advise they change IME the fellow teens are probably okay with it or just clueless so the kid social stuff is easier. the group mom led field trips and such tho are far harsher. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Erica in PA Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 Opinions? We belong to fairly conservative hs group. We, as a family, are a bit less so, but enjoy our group very much. Dd has a tshirt she wants to wear (everywhere :glare:) that says "Team Jacob" (Twilight) on it and ds has a shirt that says "WWIJD", as in What Would Indiana Jones Do. I encourage them not to wear these particular shirts to any of the group functions because I don't want to offend anyone. Dc think I'm nuts. This may be true, but my thought is that they could wear anything else in thier closets, lets just err on the side of not stirring the pot. Oh, and fwiw, I'm the one who bought the shirts. I happen to like them very much, and if I were a person who wore tshirts with writing on them, I would trade the Jacob one for Ed and definitely wear the WWIJD. Just not to functions with this particular homeschool group. What do you think? Am I being silly? I do the same thing for certain activities we participate in. My kids have some shirts that are fine in our family, but could cause trouble at church, youth group, co-op, etc., so I just explain that some families don't like those kinds of things, and it's better to wear other things to those events. My kids (ages 13, 8, and 6) haven't had a problem with that, and it's worked out fine. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Impish Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I wouldn't allow the shirts either. That said, the first thing we did after pulling Diva from school was to dye her hair purple...school wouldn't allow it ;) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pink Fairy Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 If you suspect that the tshirts would cause a problem, don't let the kids wear them. It's not worth the hassle. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jean in Newcastle Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I would go either way on this one. On one hand, its a really easy thing to just wear a different t-shirt. I feel that it can be an act of kindness to others to not cause them offense even if it is an inconsequential thing like the t-shirts (which do not have a lewd or bigotted message - something really offensive). On the other hand, I've gotten to the place where I'm tired of bowing to others on inconsequential things. I've decided that if it is a situation where I will be spending a lot of time with people then they are going to have to be ok with me the way I am. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dhudson Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I think wearing those t-shirts at another time would be fine but I would nix them from the group mtgs. We are Christians and dress conservatively but we do have Mickey Mouse, Indiana Jones as Mickey and LOTS of Star Wars shirts that I deem inappropriate for mtgs as I would prefer to not offend anyone or really have to have that discussion with Mom's that don't allow those freedoms. Oh, Team Edward here.:lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
5KidzRUs Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 My - now adult son - liked to wear his Special Forces patch to homeschool field trips when he was a teen. It said "Kill them all and let God sort them out" - or something like that. Earlier this week my 13 year old went to a co-op class at church and I caught out of the corner of my eye what he was wearing as he walked into the building. He was wearing a shirt we had bought at a tourist shop at an old pirates island we visited - the logo on the back was a pirate skull and the quote "Surrender Your Booty!" I ran as fast as I could to catch up to him and have him flip it inside out. Luckily, nobody saw it. Whew! I think you should comply with the rules of the "house" you are at - Just like we teach our children to do. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Katia Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 On the other hand, I've gotten to the place where I'm tired of bowing to others on inconsequential things. I've decided that if it is a situation where I will be spending a lot of time with people then they are going to have to be ok with me the way I am. I agree with this one. We are who we are. I'm ok with it and I'm ok with who my kids are. However, our homeschool group was NOT ok with us and asked us to leave. At first we had hurt feelings, but.....now we are totally ok with it as we can just be ourselves and not be judged for it. I'd say if the group doesn't like who you are, you don't belong there. Leave 'em. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted September 18, 2009 Author Share Posted September 18, 2009 Earlier this week my 13 year old went to a co-op class at church and I caught out of the corner of my eye what he was wearing as he walked into the building. He was wearing a shirt we had bought at a tourist shop at an old pirates island we visited - the logo on the back was a pirate skull and the quote "Surrender Your Booty!" I ran as fast as I could to catch up to him and have him flip it inside out. Luckily, nobody saw it. Whew! . :lol::lol: So glad I'm not the only one who doesn't notice until its too late! I'm glad I asked this question. I do agree that we need to be who we are, but I think its also important to be the people who will be considerate of those who may be offended and just wear a different lousy shirt for the day. I have no problem with them wearing them pretty much anywhere else, though. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gardening momma Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 That said, the first thing we did after pulling Diva from school was to dye her hair purple...school wouldn't allow it ;) :thumbup: Cheering here. I've always had trouble when planning kids' activities at church whether or not to do face painting, hair painting or temporary tattoos because of the schools who "don't allow it." Because parents complain when it doesn't wash off completely that first night. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mrs Mungo Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 A co-op that is held in a church? Probably would not. Field trips? I'm on the fence, it would depend. Park day? It would be fine. In fact, I think my own eldest dd wore her Team Jacob shirt to park day recently. :lol: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SonshineLearner Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I think at co-op it's best not to wear shirts that "say" anything:-) Just my 2 cents:-0 Carrie Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ConnieB Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 This is one of those occasions where I would say if you have to ask....you already know the answer. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chris in VA Posted September 18, 2009 Share Posted September 18, 2009 I think you are doing the right thing. FWIW, I always got a kick out of two shirts ds would wear at treatment-- One says, "I'm really excited to be here." The other was, "By reading this, you have given me brief control of your mind." I thought they brought a little levity to a tough place, and they weren't considered disrespectful. (although, I wondered if a few people actually believed the second saying--he's been in a couple of places where that could be true...) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
HerdingCats Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 It sounds like you are saying this isn't a "dress-up" occasion. You are only wondering what other people are going to think of the logos. If is good enough for you to buy it, I would let them wear it. I think it's good for easily offended people to stretch themselves once in a while :D. I used to cater to what I thought the crowd I was in would accept. I now prefer to let other people's opinions of me and my kids be accurate from the start. What you see is what you get. It weeds out those whom we wouldn't want to be around much anyway. Life is so much easier this way! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
joannqn Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 A co-op that is held in a church? Probably would not. Field trips? I'm on the fence, it would depend. Park day? It would be fine. In fact, I think my own eldest dd wore her Team Jacob shirt to park day recently. :lol: :iagree: This sounds good to me. I wouldn't allow my kids wear either of them to a Christian group or function. I would imagine a lot of raised eyebrows from anyone who understood the first was a Twilight thing. I didn't except that you said so. The last one sounds like a play on WWJD, and could come across as disrespectful of the original concept Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 I wouldn't worry about the Jacob one. A lot of the kids at my (Mennonite) church have read Twilight. I'd skip the other. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BigMamaBird Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 I think those shirts are not offensive, and I'm a fairly conservative Christian. That said, a church building my not be the right place to wear "slogan" shirts of any kind. But if you do wear the "Team Jacob" one and someone give you a raised eyebrow, just pull out your best innocent doe eye expression and say "we love Jacob, but that Esau is a punk." Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LauraGB Posted September 19, 2009 Author Share Posted September 19, 2009 But if you do wear the "Team Jacob" one and someone give you a raised eyebrow, just pull out your best innocent doe eye expression and say "we love Jacob, but that Esau is a punk." :lol::lol::lol: Ok, now that's one of the funniest things I've heard all day! As for the function, it is a gym class. Most of the things we do with the group are really casual. Personally, I dislike slogan tshirts, and when dc were smaller, all thier shirts had collars and no writing. Then they went ahead and got older, developed thier own individuality and all that junk...;). I think that's why they keep pressing me to let them wear the shirts - most of their friends are there and they like to display "who they are" by wearing their favorite tshirts. I'm just not all that comfy with it with this particular group. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pamela H in Texas Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 In the past, we've been in this position (though usually we're one of the most conservative ones). I always try to meet the strictest conscience of the group I'm in whether it be my family, congregation, etc. You don't have to live that all the time, but definitely in the presence of others. The closer you are with a group or person, the more offensive this kind of thing can be. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TxMama Posted September 19, 2009 Share Posted September 19, 2009 I agree with this one. We are who we are. I'm ok with it and I'm ok with who my kids are. However, our homeschool group was NOT ok with us and asked us to leave. At first we had hurt feelings, but.....now we are totally ok with it as we can just be ourselves and not be judged for it. I'd say if the group doesn't like who you are, you don't belong there. Leave 'em. :iagree::hurray: Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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