Mommyfaithe Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 what would you do to get through that time?? I have had that fear for years because I never finished my degree...and if something happened to my husband, since he is self employed...and I work for him...what I would have to do to support myself . him and our children. Does anyone have plans that they have in place...or have been through this scenario. i would rather be prepared than not. I am sorry if this sounds morbid, but the fear of not being able to step in and do what i need to do , is paralyzing me lately. Thanks, Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyof4ks Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 It would depend on what type of business your dh had. My father is a paint contractor, so there is no way my mother could keep that up herself, but she could hire subs and still make some money that way. She knows the business well. My dh works for a corporation, so I would be in a pickle. I do have a degree, but between daycare and the regular bills it would be hard to make ends meet. My plan is to collect disability for dh and whatever benefits we could for the kids should he be unable to work until such time that I could find work that could support us. If he were to pass away, then we have plenty of life ins. to pay off all of our bills and support the kids and I with me only working part time if at all (same with dh, he could quit his full time job and work part time to be with the kids more). I know what you mean by needing a plan. The plan may not work out, but at least there is some comfort in thinking of a plan. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Penelope Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I have the degree but I also have the fear. Even with a degree, once you are out of the workplace for so long while at home with the kids, it isn't always easy to jump back in. With my degree I would be able to get a teaching credential and perhaps teach, or at least sub for a while. My goal would be to have work hours such that my kids would not need a lot of afterschool care, so that is one of the options I thought of. I agree that having a plan helps with the anxiety. We have known quite a few families where one of the parents either lost his job or became ill, so it does happen and is something to think about. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmom Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 My dh has disability insurance. Between him being home and the older dc to help watch the little ones, I could substitute teach until I found a PT teaching job or something like that. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgm Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 We carry supplmental disability insurance for that reason. I have friends and family that grew up that way - all had a reasonable upbringing thanks to social security disability payouts and having saved enough to buy land to lease for farming or homes to rent out. You might want to check your Social Security benefits statement and see what the likely outcome would be should one of you become disabled. Check your state for the health insurance options should you decide to be a caregiver at home rather than work. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Renee in NC Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 (edited) It would be depend on how ill he became. If he were not able to care for the dc while I worked, then we would be in serious trouble - daycare would run me $513 a week right now. We would have to live on disability until my 11yo was a little more able to take on caring for the 5 younger children. If he died, he has some life insurance and about $1800 a month in Social Security family benefit. Edited September 7, 2009 by Renee in FL Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted September 7, 2009 Author Share Posted September 7, 2009 My dh is self employed...and diability insurance for him is very expensive and would only pay $150 per week!! Now is Social Security different than regular disability insurance?? ~~Faithe Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kalanamak Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well, if I couldn't, we could blow the dust off of hubby and he could get a janitor or repairman job to get health insurance, we could dip into savings and sell our house. I can live very, very cheaply, having slept on a mat and had cardboard boxes for furniture well into my 30's. Hubby grubbed by in beat-up shoes and Goodwill clothes until he met me. I have a little bit of disability insurance, too. Push comes to shove, my family would never let us have to live in an unsafe environment. I'm very lucky in that department. I remember some sappy poster up at work...the couple in the sunset kind of thing, with the quote "You can measure a man by the size of his dreams". I looked at our ward psychologist and said "what does it say about me that my dream is to have the good luck and good sense to never find myself dependent on my sister?" (Mutual cynical smiles ensued.) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elegantlion Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 My dh is self employed...and diability insurance for him is very expensive and would only pay $150 per week!! Now is Social Security different than regular disability insurance?? ~~Faithe My dh is self-employed too and we found a similar number. He's covered with life insurance but a disability would affect us tremendously. I can't do his job, he's a contractor, and I don't want to. I'd have to go to work somewhere and we'd have to sell our house and downsize is some form. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tree House Academy Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 My husband has insurance for illnesses that cause him to be unable to work. I also have a degree in English (Technical Communications) and could go back to work (making about half of what dh brings home) if it was a necessity. If he passed, we have enough life insurance on him (that we keep through an insurance company not his employer) to pay off ALL outstanding debt that we have. My dh is a planner and we have made sure these things were in place at the very minimum. Now...I just pray there will never be a need to use those well laid plans. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lgm Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 My dh is self employed...and diability insurance for him is very expensive and would only pay $150 per week!! Now is Social Security different than regular disability insurance?? ~~Faithe Yes. http://www.socialsecurity.gov/pgm/selfemployed.htm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
muffinmom Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I would no doubt get back in to freelance editing. It's flexible, pays fairly well, but it does require blocks of uninterrupted time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mom0012 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 If your husband is in good health, you may be able to get a term life insurance policy for a reasonable amount. This is what we have and it would be enough to get me through at least until my children were teens, if not much longer than that. We also have a term policy on me to protect him in case he was left with the kids to raise on his own. This would ease his burden and help with childcare expenses. We started my policy in my early 30s and it works out to only being $20/month. Lisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sagira Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I would have to find work in some Communications position as that's what my bachelor's degree is in. Or something along those lines. Writing, newspaper.. I could do that too. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mommyfaithe Posted September 7, 2009 Author Share Posted September 7, 2009 Yes. http://www.socialsecurity.gov/pgm/selfemployed.htm Thank YOU!! I do understand this a bit better now. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 We'd prolly end up living with family. I can't go to work fulltime because of needing to care for our youngest (multiple disabilities), so that's likely what we'd do...for a while anyway. Hard to say what after that, would depend on how things went & all the details. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chaik76 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 I'm not sure...our insurance would cover a year or two. I could go back into editing, or being an administrator, or I could waitress (which paid the most of any job I had). I might go back to being a biller for a car dealership...that was my "funnest" job and did not require a college degree (although I have one). I don't worry about it, because there's no point in worrying over things that haven't happened. I also haven't planned for it...if it does happen, I'll figure it out the. But I'm not much of a worrier by nature. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
farmmom4him Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 We own a little farm ground--I suspect our landlord would allow me to stay put without rent. FIL would take over the farming until ds was old enough, or our church would step in I am sure (many large farmers). I think we could live on the ground, as long as I kept some cows with it (20 head should be good--then I have meat, garden, and chickens). I love cattle, so no biggie. I would raise them to be hormone free, so I could get a good $$ out of them and sell them privately. I can run equipment to, but it would be hard with our children. ;o) Dh does have life ins that would pay off all our debt. If I decided not to farm myself and have it hired out, I would sell off our equipment, and live of that for some time. If we would decide not to stay here, I would move close to some VERY GOOD friends who would help me out. I would sell EVERYTHING and have quite a bit to live on for quite awhile. Getting rid of everything but the ground would reduce expenses a WHOLE LOT!!!! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orthodox6 Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Faithe, you are NOT "being morbid", you are being realistic. Frankly, this is a core reason why I shall insist that my daughter receive sufficient education that, in an emergency, she could support herself and any children in the family. (This applies especially if she marries, rather than chooses monasticism.) (Yes, we teach that monasticism is a highly-respected "career choice" just like anything else, should it be God's will for an individual.) When death, disability, or divorce all can occur to traumatize a family, a woman must be prepared, even with plans only very loosely woven, to assume the fiscal support of herself and her children. My dh is not self-employed, so there is no "family business" to work with. Formerly, I had "salable skills" that could reap enough for us to survive. Fourteen years away from the work force, though, and of an age automatically vulnerable for age discrimination, I do not know what I would do. In the past, I was assertive enough to go after, and generally net, whatever job I wanted. I would have to pray that God would bless me similarly again. With never-ending medical bills, we have no "nest egg" to speak of. The loss of dh would throw us squarely upon God's mercy. . . . But that is where we dwell already ! :) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivetails Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Gracious, I thought everyone was just talking about if there was some illness or disability - not death. That's something too horrific to even think about for me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thescrappyhomeschooler Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 Well, dh is a lawyer, so we've had wills and living wills and directives for what to do with our kids and POAs for pretty much everything since we were married. We also have life insurance policies that should enable both of us to be okay if one of us were to die. I could never in a million years earn as much money as dh does without going back to school, so he does have disability insurance, too. With that, and my working, we should be all right if dh were disabled for a while. If he were permanently disabled and/or we lost insurance coverage for any reason, we would have to drastically change our lifestyle, which would be okay by me. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Melissa in Australia Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 my husband was injured at work. resulting in permanent injury, and not being able to go to work again. he was on work-cover for 8 years or so, and is now on a disability pension. I did go out to work for 4 years before homeschooling. it was very stressful on the whole family, and really wasn't very good for the family at all. we had our house paid for etc. and have always lived very frugally. we live on less than $25ooo a year. and are managing fairly well. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TravelingChris Posted September 7, 2009 Share Posted September 7, 2009 My husband has 22years in the military so he would retire. We wouldn't live in this area since it is too expensive. He would have to be very ill not to work since his work is of the mind and can be done with no mobility (he is a physicist and can always use Stephen Hawkins as his model on how to continue to work). I have the degrees capable to work and maybe would start working as instructor at a community college or part-time in some high school. I don't think I have the health to work full time. It is one big reason I homeschool since it allows me to direct the children's education even if I am not waliking well that day or sick with another bout of bronchitis or sinusitis. I probably would have been eligible for disability myself but for the fact that I got disabled too young and hadn't eccrued enough credits in an eligible job (part of the time I worked for a state university that was exempt from the social security system). Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cera Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 My husband is in the military so he would most likely take a disability retirement. We do carry private life and disability insurance in addition to what the military offers as well, just in case. This is the main reason I continued with college once we got married and a primary motivator for the major I chose. I could fairly easily jump back into the work force with a decent salary at any time. It's also why I will start grad school next year when my husband goes. I really prefer to be overprepared when things happen. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angela in ohio Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 1.) insurance 2.) family 3.) church ... in that order. It would probably never come to number three. We also live below our means, so that we can give to others. If need be, that could change into living frugally so that we could get by, without a severe shock to us. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KidsHappen Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Well if he was injured at work we would have long term diability, workman's comp, unemplyment, his Disabled VA stipend and probably a few more plus I could go back to work but the truth of the matter is it wouldn't be pretty. There is no way we could maintain our current standard of living or even anything close for any period of time. This is the one thing that scares me the most. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Meriwether Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 Dh and I don't really have a plan for disability, but we do have a safety net. If we can't find any other way, we will at least have a roof over our heads and food to eat at my parents. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Peela Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 It would be a huge upheaval for us, but I am not afraid of it. Presuming he is alive (we have life insurance, and permanent disability, but nothing in case of extended illness) we would just quickly downsize, sell our investment properties, move to a home with cheaper rent. We have lived very lightly in our early days together. We could do it again if we had to. I would find some sort of work. Social security here in AUstralia is pretty good. We would be ok, but it would involve a change and a letting go of our present standard of living, I think. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
phathui5 Posted September 8, 2009 Share Posted September 8, 2009 I would go back to doing home childcare, so that I could work without paying for daycare. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Join the conversation
You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.