Passing the bean dip

[kalanamak]

 

So how do you answer the question in a way that ends the conversation?

 

"It just suits us." Smile and then try my favourite ice breaker, which for me is a truly sincere question "I'm fascinated by accents. Where were you raised?"

[OnTheBrink]

I find the best way to end an argument of any sort is to say, "So there." No one can argue with "So there." :)

[coralloyd]

:lol::lol::lol:

"Why do you homeschool"

"Flying monkeys"

 

They won't ask anymore. Trust me.

 

[coralloyd]

:lol::lol::smilielol5::lol::lol: Oh my gosh you have made my day (still laughing)!

 

The flying monkeys comment works especially best if you make a point of carefully, even fearfully scanning the sky as you say it.

 

I believe that proper socialization of adults is a psychology experiment :D I do my best to mess with it. :D The best fun would be if someone dared to repeat it, and bring a second person over. I'm waiting for that to happen.

 

I have the scenario all worked out in my head. Something like this:

 

First woman: "Tell her what you said!"

Me, giving a blank stare: "I'm sorry?"

FW: "Tell her what you said about homeschooling and flying monkeys!"

Me, concerned: "Ma'am, are you quite all right?"

Second Woman: "She says you homeschool because of flying monkeys."

Me, taking a cautious step back from the two women, and eyeing them warily, as if expecting them to suddenly turn into flesh eating zombies,:" Reeeeallly now. How...interesting. Kids? We need to go. NOW!"

FW, getting a bit hysterical: "You did! You said, flying monkeys! You did! You did!"

 

Just doin my bit to add a bit of interest to a mundane day :D

 

[WTMCassandra]

Aha. To me, it seems that they are reacting to the word "best," like maybe they think you are trying to be snooty or something. Sigh. Perhaps they feel you are saying they are choosing less than the best for their own family and are getting themselves worked up. Sigh again.

 

People are SOOOO sensitive and defensive about this issue. I think you will have more success with "working really well" or some similar phrase and cut the word "best."

 

If you STILL get comebacks, I would stick with, "I've done my homework, and this is what's working for now." And I'd give a firm smile and nod at the end of the sentence to indicate closure. Then, I would definitely change the subject.

[stripe]

"Right" instead of "best"?

[Mom-ninja.]

"Right" instead of "best"?

 

 

That is a good replacement for "best"

 

It's what is right for my family.

 

I've been leaning toward, "The voices told me to."

[jonesloonybin]

How about this, "The Hive told me too." :lol:

 

"I must listen to the Hive.":lol:

[lionfamily1999]

How about this, "The Hive told me too." :lol:

 

"I must listen to the Hive.":lol:

:lol: Oh I like that one!

[amsunshine]

Let's see some responses to "It works best for my family" I've gotten.

 

"But how do you know what's best? I mean you're not a teacher."

 

"How do you know your son is learning what he's supposed to?"

 

"You think it's best now, but what about when he's older? How will he adjust?"

 

"What makes you think you keeping them at home is best?"

Wow! These people are persistent (not to mention insulting)!

 

I've been thinking about these responses, and (borrowing another poster's idea) I think you might want to suggest some literature about homeschooling for these situations. Maybe a genuine smile and comment like, "You seem really interested in homeschooling! I could talk your ear off about it, but there is so much literature out there on this topic and you can get a more complete picture by reading a few books. May I suggest a few titles for you?"

 

If they persist after this -- I think you are dealing with people who are unfamiliar with respecting boundaries. In which case, you might just have to firmly end the conversation. Bringing out "the voices" or "the flying monkeys" also might be in order. :)

[sleepymommy]

In my mind, bean dip is how you maintain relationships with parents, in-laws, distant aunts who want to keep having the same conversation over and over again. But there are so many of us who have benefited directly and indirectly from friends and strangers who were willing to discuss homeschooling.

.

 

This is definitely going to be the main reason I need a bean dip response. Especially for my in-laws. They just don't know when to quit about anything. I've not officially started homeschooling (as ds is supposed to start K this fall), so I've seriously considered just keeping the whole thing a big awful secret until I absolutely have to tell them. Ex. When they ask me how he's doing in school I respond "great!", I could even throw in "and he has an amazing teacher!:lol:"

 

But I know that as much as I'd like to go that route, I won't--so please share your best "pass the bean dip" responses to your in-laws!

[musicianmom]

We're still in the homeschooling closet too where my in-laws are concerned. We have another year before kindergarten, but I've already had to work on a preschool bean dip recipe.

[Mom-ninja.]

How about this, "The Hive told me too." :lol:

 

"I must listen to the Hive.":lol:

 

Love it!

 

 

 

Wow! These people are persistent (not to mention insulting)!

 

I've been thinking about these responses, and (borrowing another poster's idea) I think you might want to suggest some literature about homeschooling for these situations. Maybe a genuine smile and comment like, "You seem really interested in homeschooling! I could talk your ear off about it, but there is so much literature out there on this topic and you can get a more complete picture by reading a few books. May I suggest a few titles for you?"

 

If they persist after this -- I think you are dealing with people who are unfamiliar with respecting boundaries. In which case, you might just have to firmly end the conversation. Bringing out "the voices" or "the flying monkeys" also might be in order. :)

 

This comments come from the same three women I see during ds' karate lessons. Two are ps teachers. All three of them are absolutely aghast that I'm homeschooling. The other day I got, "What do you mean your son doesn't have to take the state standardized test? How do you know if he's learning anything?"

 

It might be time to make it clear to these women that I'm done anwering their questions.

[stripe]

It's tempting to ask if we can be sure anyone learned anything in the days before standardized testing. George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Albert Einstein, and so on.

[AuntieM]

Sorry I haven't read all the replies, but there's a pretty easy answer in our case.

 

We have relocated 8 times since we began homeschooling. Before we married, DH warned me that his career would cause us to move a lot, and his prediction was correct. So, for us, the best reason to home school has been to maintain academic consistency. This has always been readily accepted as a unique situation, one in which someone wanting to argue has little to no experience and cannot really attack my position.

 

If there is something unique to the reason you home school - even if it is not the main reason - pick that and go with it. Many do it due to food allergies, special opportunities, etc... if there's something in your set-up that would make a good offering, use it! That way it's a statement of what works for your own family, yet not an indictment of the "attacker" for choosing a less excellent way.

[AuntieM]

This comments come from the same three women I see during ds' karate lessons. Two are ps teachers. All three of them are absolutely aghast that I'm homeschooling. The other day I got, "What do you mean your son doesn't have to take the state standardized test? How do you know if he's learning anything?"

 

It might be time to make it clear to these women that I'm done anwering their questions.

 

 

I didn't realize you were enduring this repetitively from an evil coalition. You need a real strategy, not just a generic dip recipe!

 

I like another poster's suggestion about supplying some reading materials for these women. Treat them each to a copy of Gatto or something similar (ie, from a trained ps teacher's perspective), along with a nice card that says you'll be happy to continue defending your home school choice *after* they have read the book. Until that time, it is an off-limits topic and you will have to withdraw yourself from the conversation that leads in that direction. And then prepare yourself with some not-subtle topic changers (ie, tell me about your accent) or actually physically remove yourself from their presence.

 

Honestly, it is really rude of them to continue to badger you on your choice. Just my thoughts. I am sorry you are stuck with them. :glare:

[WTMCassandra]

This comments come from the same three women I see during ds' karate lessons. Two are ps teachers. All three of them are absolutely aghast that I'm homeschooling. The other day I got, "What do you mean your son doesn't have to take the state standardized test? How do you know if he's learning anything?"

 

It might be time to make it clear to these women that I'm done anwering their questions.

 

Oh. Brother.

 

Yes, I agree with you that it's time to be done. By now I'd be tempted to answer the latest challenge (for that is what it really is) with one of two snarky answers: (1) Continuous assessment or (2) How did we know if George Washington learned anything in school? He NEVER took a state test and he became the first President!

 

People who care might get my response that I believe standardized testing (such as ITBS or CAT) is helpful and I would do it every year, regardless of whether it was required of me.

 

But not these umm, ladies. I recommend a statement like: "We've hashed this over for many weeks, but this is our family's decision. It's no longer up for discussion or challenge. If you would like more information about homeschooling, you're welcome to read The Well-Trained Mind."

[stripe]

I didn't really "get" that it was the same women asking the same questions and arguing endlessly.

 

My view is that everything you can in life do could potentially be criticized by someone. Whether it's your hair color (why do you dye it? why don't you dye it? why do you change your style all the time? why don't you ever change?), your makeup or lack thereof (why don't you wax your eyebrows? do you realize your mascara makes you look like a cheap floozy?), your clothes (why are you always wearing pink? why do you wear long sleeves, do you have low self esteem? do you know how ugly those shorts make you look?), your children (are you done? how do you cope with all those kids? was she an accident?), your housing (why do you have such a giant house for just the three of you? have you considered buying a house, you look so squashed?), your choice of spouse (what, you don't like your own kind, is that why you married him? why did you marry someone so old?!) or whatever, someone can always nitpick into your decisions, without having any right to do so. Some of those may be construed as making conversation, giving advice or just a lack of tact. But inappropriate and questions or going over something repeatedly need to be stopped.

 

I think at some point, it can be best to ask - "why are you asking me this?" or "Do you really want to have a discussion with me, or do you just want me to agree with you?" ("Do you imagine that this conversation will ever end as long as I have a different point of view from you?")

 

Perhaps articulate that you respect their choice to be teachers and send their children to public schools, and your choice does not mean that you are opposed to public schools, any more than marrying someone of the same ethnic background makes one a neo-Nazi. And then tell them that you won't be entertaining further discussion about it, that your family choices are not up for public vote. And then if they bring it up again, laugh and say, "Oh, I've said all I have to say on that with you for the time being!" and if necessary LEAVE. Don't allow yourself to be bullied.

[gardening momma]

Let's see some responses to "It works best for my family" I've gotten.

 

"But how do you know what's best? I mean you're not a teacher."

 

"How do you know your son is learning what he's supposed to?"

 

"You think it's best now, but what about when he's older? How will he adjust?"

 

"What makes you think you keeping them at home is best?"

What are some good responses to these questions? Not snarky or defensive, but genuine, informative (yet brief) answers?

If they persist after this -- I think you are dealing with people who are unfamiliar with respecting boundaries. In which case, you might just have to firmly end the conversation.

I'm not sure that people who ask these questions are simply not respecting boundaries--I think they genuinely don't understand 1) how hs could be as good as or better than ps; 2) how someone who is not a teacher can teach; 3) how you could know what they're learning without a test; 4) how he will adjust; etc..

[Ibbygirl]

I'm not sure that people who ask these questions are simply not respecting boundaries--I think they genuinely don't understand 1) how hs could be as good as or better than ps; 2) how someone who is not a teacher can teach; 3) how you could know what they're learning without a test; 4) how he will adjust; etc..

 

 

 

But even PS teachers' "teacher books" are scripted. I remember many times when I was in school getting permission to go up to the teacher's desk to ask for help on something that I didn't understand and seeing their teacher book open on their desk. It tells them everything what to do and say. They don't come up with that stuff on their own, even with their training they still use a book to teach their class.

[amsunshine]

I'm not sure that people who ask these questions are simply not respecting boundaries--I think they genuinely don't understand 1) how hs could be as good as or better than ps; 2) how someone who is not a teacher can teach; 3) how you could know what they're learning without a test; 4) how he will adjust; etc..

 

Excellent point -- which is why I think suggesting reading material first is the way to go. I do see the possibility that these people could be genuinely ignorant and are asking questions to gain information for themselves. However, if someone is provided with an opportunity to actually educate themselves on an issue (i.e., with suggested literature), refuses to do so, and still continues to pester the OP, I do believe that is a boundary issue. That person would not be genuinely interested in gaining any type of information about the subject of homeschooling -- he/she would simply be interested in imposing his/her own judgment/values on the OP.

[Ibbygirl]

Excellent point -- which is why I think suggesting reading material first is the way to go. I do see the possibility that these people could be genuinely ignorant and are asking questions to gain information for themselves. However, if someone is provided with an opportunity to actually educate themselves on an issue (i.e., with suggested literature), refuses to do so, and still continues to pester the OP, I do believe that is a boundary issue. That person would not be genuinely interested in gaining any type of information about the subject of homeschooling -- he/she would simply be interested in imposing his/her own judgment/values on the OP.

 

 

:iagree::iagree:

[Amber in SJ]

To the random stranger who asks me, "why do you homeschool?" I say;

 

"Because we are intolerant religious fanatics."

 

this generally stops the conversation cold, because who wants to talk to an intolerant religious fanatic?

 

I have never considered myself as a homeschool ambassador so maybe I'll have to think of a nicer reply.

 

Flying Monkeys is pretty fun, too.

 

Amber in SJ

[Amber in SJ]

But I have to say the best was when we (the 4 children & I) were shopping in the produce section of the grocery store and we got the usual:

 

Random stranger: "Oh! No school today?"

DD: "No, we homeschool."

Random stranger (to me): "Aren't you afraid they will be mentally ill from spending so much time with you?"

 

I actually looked everyone and myself over carefully to figure out what would make this woman think that being around me would cause mental illness, but we were all fully clothed, I wasn't wearing my shirt backward and I didn't have anything odd sticking out of my hair, so I have no idea what the problem was.

 

I was laughing too hard to make a witty retort.

 

Amber in SJ

[BikeBookBread]

When strangers or not-so-close acquaintances ask, I say, "we are looking for one level of consistency for our girls, as we have to move every two years due to my husband's role in the military." That seems to really shut 'em up, and even elicit an "oh, I think I would do that too!"

[Danestress]

"He's such a fan of homeschooling. And if he can't answer your questions, I can make some great book recommendations. Could you pass the bean dip?"

 

For some reason, people think mothers are stupid and are emotion driven. Far fewer people want to argue with a Dad about the way he chooses to educate his children.

 

I'm telling you, most people who have a problem with homeschool have a fundamental mistrust of the role of mothers in their childrens' lives, especially their boys' lives, and especially as the boys get older. There are many people in America (I wonder if it's this way in other countries) who simply can't imagine a teenage boy and his mother learning and laughing together.

[nmoira]

Random stranger: "Oh! No school today?"

DD: "No, we homeschool."

Random stranger (to me): "Aren't you afraid they will be mentally ill from spending so much time with you?"

Oh, I wouldn't have been able to contain my laughter. On the plus side, it would save the kids years of therapy down the line to pinpoint the root of all their problems. So you're doing them a favour really... :lol:

[Denisemomof4]

it's the best fit for our family. End of subject.

:001_smile:

[stripe]

What are some good responses to these questions? Not snarky or defensive, but genuine, informative (yet brief) answers?

 

"But how do you know what's best? I mean you're not a teacher."

As his parent, I have a high investment in his developing his intellect fully. The same feeling you have about your own children's education, when you decided that X was appropriate for them.

 

"How do you know your son is learning what he's supposed to?"

That is such a great question -- we share your concern about our son's intellectual development. We know that he has learned something when we witness his demonstrations that he has assimilated the material we have covered. For example, we knew he'd learned to write all the letters of the alphabet when he was able to do so on his own - we did not need a test. We knew he could read when he was able to pick up (insert book name here, hopefully not Dick and Jane) and read it without help. We know he learned Spanish because he can carry on a conversation and read Spanish language literature (pick one or two quick examples).

 

"You think it's best now, but what about when he's older? How will he adjust?"

What do you mean "adjust"?

and/or

We think it is very important for children to be a part of the real world, and are opposed to isolation, and we incorporate community resources into his educational experiences.

 

"What makes you think you keeping them at home is best?"

(I think this is the trouble with saying "best"!)

 

Because we set our own schedule, we are able to provide (fill in special feature of your educational environment, such as trilingual education, accommodation of musical or athletic schedule, intense support of child's advanced scientific pursuits or other specialized instruction, accommodation of medical conditions or other special needs). We feel that we are able to provide a broader-based education that is more appropriate for his needs.

 

I should also mention that the term "homeschooling" suggests that all learning takes place at home, when in fact we rely extensively on all our community has to offer, such as the (whatever -- library, symphony, museums...), and this broader, real-world experience has been beneficial for our son.

 

Incidentally, my husband was recently given a thorough going over (although he didn't feel it was hostile) by two friends of his, about the socialization issue. When a friend of mine (who is the wife of one of them) asked me if I was going to put my son in school this fall, and then, when I said no, asked me if I'd be homeschooling, she seemed to think it was a dandy idea. So that was nice. My in-laws also had some questions, mostly about homeschooling's legality, but seemed to think it was okay when explained. But funny as it was opposite the idea that only mothers get asked!

Edited June 17, 2009 by stripe

[Ginevra]

I agree with those who said to be positive and happy. I do get asked about homeschooling very often if I'm out and about on a "school day". It is very rare that I have felt I'm being attacked - and actually, that has only been by family and once-good friends! One day recently, we went first to the dentist, then a restaurant for lunch and then the hair salon and we were asked repeatedly about hsing. DD even said, "Man, we've been asked that four times today!" when the hair stylist asked. But, it was all good. I just cheerfully explain that when I first decided to homeschool, it was mainly because I wanted to give my child a tailored, individualized education. But as I've gone along over the years, I have realized so many benefits that I didn't then. I talk about how much I love it and how it has been such a good thing for us. I never ever say the schools are crappy or imply that the asker doesn't care about their kids.

 

While at the dentist, the lady who asked me turned out to be someone who is looking into hsing beginning this fall. So, see?

 

When I was first trying to learn about homeschooling, I didn't know anyone who homeschooled. There was a lady at my dd's gymnastics who hsed and I asked her some things, but she was so quiet and I think she really was trying to nip the conversation in the bud. I got the vibe that she didn't want to talk to me, so I didn't pursue it with her any more. It's too bad, because I really needed help and direction at that time. I do remember that and therefore do want to always show an encouraging and upbeat tone. Even if the asker says something like, "I could never do that, I am not patient." (Which I have heard a million times!) I assure them with a chuckle that I am not patient and then I'll make some crack about how I sometimes wish there were a little island all my own where nobody ever says, "Mom..." :D Just something to diffuse any bad feelings they might have towards hsers in general.

 

Personally, I think the people who really do behave in a hostile way feel a conviction that they should hs or they are jealous. I have found this to be true over and over and over again in life, in many lifestyle choices other than hsing.

[elegantlion]

If someone is truly curious my one liner is "we like the options it gives our family" or "We feel like this is a great option for our son." Then smile...

 

If someone is being a snarky pain I like to use this one. "We feel like God led us to homeschool." Then I smile and shut up, let 'em argue with God.

[WTMCassandra]

"Because we are intolerant religious fanatics."

 

 

:lol::lol::lol:

 

I love that! I wish I had the nerve to use that one.

[Ginevra]

This is definitely going to be the main reason I need a bean dip response. Especially for my in-laws. They just don't know when to quit about anything. I've not officially started homeschooling (as ds is supposed to start K this fall), so I've seriously considered just keeping the whole thing a big awful secret until I absolutely have to tell them. Ex. When they ask me how he's doing in school I respond "great!", I could even throw in "and he has an amazing teacher!:lol:"

 

But I know that as much as I'd like to go that route, I won't--so please share your best "pass the bean dip" responses to your in-laws!

 

Sleepymama, my little two cents is that you can't "bean dip" the relatives at this point. In a year or two, yeah, but you have to stand up for your choices. This was for me the truly dreadful part of hsing - that first year, when my first child didn't go to Kindergarten. I am not a confrontational person and my in-laws are a constant part of my life. They all thought I had grown an extra head. There was no getting around the fact that I got a fair amount of disapproval straight to my face and I'm sure more than I can imagine behind my back. One SIL talked about how sad it was that she couldn't ask my dd what kind of backpack she had for Kindergarten. (How will she ever get over it?!:lol:)

 

The first year was the worst. My MIL sereptitiously tested my daughter whenever she could. They scrutinized how fun her birthday party was and how many friends' birthday parties she was going to. I know they all thought we were going to hell in a handbasket, but time proved them wrong. So the voices quieted and ceased, but besides that after a while I no longer cared if they approved or not.

 

Eventually, my MIL just about knocked me out of my skin when she mused one day, "I think if I had it to do over, I would homeschool my kids." :svengo:That was one of the sweetest vindications I've ever experienced.

[stripe]

But to be fair, I know someone who is homeschooling, but before she began (a few years ago), I asked her about it. I tried to sound interested / nonthreatening, but she did give me a pretty brief answer, when I was actually genuinely interested as part of my own thought development. And I was kind of disappointed by the lack of a conversation. So don't be too brief, ladies!

[AnnetteB]

We tend to say that, "Educating the children at home has been a blessing for our family. The children are so close to each other and we hope their friendships last a lifetime." Who can argue with that? We have heard it all over the years, but it has been a long time since anyone questioned us. My mother has said that she wishes she had homeschooled us, but in the 60's she was told it was forbidden and she is not the "trailblazer" type. My mil has admitted that the children have turned out well and are very nice and pleasant to be around. High praise from someone who thought I was trying to keep them all infants :) We are the only home educators in our neighborhood and the neighbors are all on friendly terms with us. I once told a persistent stranger that, "Honestly, I don't think that I could ever find all their shoes and get them out the door to school on time!" That "reason" seemed to make sense to him since he couldn't figure out why we had so many children anyway.:D

[Joanne]

Sleepymama, my little two cents is that you can't "bean dip" the relatives at this point. In a year or two, yeah, but you have to stand up for your choices. This was for me the truly dreadful part of hsing - that first year, when my first child didn't go to Kindergarten.

 

Please actually read the "Bean Dip" link. :) It's ALL about healthy boundaries. It's not really about the shortened version of "change the subject".

[Impish]

To the random stranger who asks me, "why do you homeschool?" I say;

 

"Because we are intolerant religious fanatics."

 

this generally stops the conversation cold, because who wants to talk to an intolerant religious fanatic?

 

I have never considered myself as a homeschool ambassador so maybe I'll have to think of a nicer reply.

 

Flying Monkeys is pretty fun, too.

 

Amber in SJ

Flying monkeys actually came from questions about religion. There was a time in my life where questions about religion seemed to be around every corner, and I was heartily sick of it. So, when asked what religion I was, or what church we went to, I would answer, "The House Of The Flying Monkey." And folks tended to leave pretty quickly after that.

[Sebastian (a lady)]

Love it!

 

 

 

 

 

This comments come from the same three women I see during ds' karate lessons. Two are ps teachers. All three of them are absolutely aghast that I'm homeschooling. The other day I got, "What do you mean your son doesn't have to take the state standardized test? How do you know if he's learning anything?"

 

It might be time to make it clear to these women that I'm done anwering their questions.

 

Well, I don't have a black belt in any martial art, but I can tell if and when my kid is developing better skills well before it is time for them to take a belt test. I can also tell that one of the three schools we've been a part of had much better instruction and far better results. I know this because I can observe the skills development in my kids.

 

I might be tempted to turn the tables on them and ask if they think that the increased emphasis on testing under No Child Left Behind has caused them to be better teachers (most teachers I know would say it hasn't).

 

I might also point out that standardized tests can be a helpful tool that reminds me of things that I need to emphasize again. But it certainly has weaknesses, in particular in history. My kids can tell you all sorts of things about Greeks, Romans, World War II and the Cold War. But they can't consistently identify pictures of the White House and the Capitol. They can discuss aspects of taxation, stock shares and the embargo of North Korea, but they had a lot of trouble identifying quarters early in their elementary career. They have spent 2 out of 6 years of school in a country that uses dollars and cents. But they could haggle over over Playmobil and Bioncle prices in flea markets in German and pay in Euros. What standardized test is going to tell me if my kids are keeping up their German language skills.

 

I would keep things cordial and open if you want to. But you're not under an obligation to keep defending your family's choice to people outside the family. Somewhat in the teachers' defense, my SIL is a teacher. She occasionally has irritated parents tell her off by saying that they will just homeschool if she or the school doesn't do what they want. Or the school will get a former homeschooler, who does have weaknesses (either in academics or in classroom behavior).

 

One thing that I've found builds bridges is to work on the resource sharing that many teachers enjoy. I might mention that we are doing X and could they recommend any good books or websites on the topic. Or ask about their favorite field trip locals in the area. Maybe they've been getting a feeling that you don't have respect for their work either.

[K&Rs Mom]

What about, "Have you been IN a public school lately? That place is just crazy - no way they're getting their hands on my kid!" (especially effective since you're dealing with outschool teachers). It's not a response I'd normally recommend (ambassadors & all that), but in this case gives back exactly what they've been giving the OP. Just for fun, "How do you know if he's learning anything?" can be answered with "How do you know if *you're* teaching anything?"

 

My dh had a coworker at his last job who would just repeat whatever he didn't like, but with a couple of words switched. Nobody liked him, but nobody ever figured out how to answer stuff like, "No, we have a three at meeting." :001_huh:

[mama2cntrykids]

But I have to say the best was when we (the 4 children & I) were shopping in the produce section of the grocery store and we got the usual:

 

Random stranger: "Oh! No school today?"

DD: "No, we homeschool."

Random stranger (to me): "Aren't you afraid they will be mentally ill from spending so much time with you?"

 

I actually looked everyone and myself over carefully to figure out what would make this woman think that being around me would cause mental illness, but we were all fully clothed, I wasn't wearing my shirt backward and I didn't have anything odd sticking out of my hair, so I have no idea what the problem was.

 

I was laughing too hard to make a witty retort.

 

Amber in SJ

:lol::lol::lol::lol:

I'm sorry, but I just laughed so hard, my sides HURT! That is crazy:001_huh:.

[cin]

I asked a woman - back in 1995 - why she homeschooled ... I thought she was nuts.

 

She gave a 3 hour answer and I have homeschooled - and been friends with her - ever since! LOL!

 

Moral: Be kind, you never know what blessing you could be spreading :o)

 

 

Not trying to steal the thread, but this is SOOO true. Many adoptive parents are very defensive when it comes to discussing it, almost to the point of being in denial (face it honey, you're a redhead and that kid is Chinese. I KNOW something weird happened!) But I've always looked at it as an opportunity to enable. You (usually) never know exactly where that person stands, or may be wavering, and you might be the one that unites them with their new family.

 

On a homeschooling note, I am always tempted to say "well, she started reading at 3 1/2. Can you imagine putting her in kindergarten 3 years later?!" But I don't. I'm also tempted to say "If you paid what I paid for these kids, you'd homeschool 'em too!" But I don't. I just smile and say it works really well for our family. Have you tried the new Chicken sandwich? :D

[Mom-ninja.]

Not trying to steal the thread, but this is SOOO true. Many adoptive parents are very defensive when it comes to discussing it, almost to the point of being in denial (face it honey, you're a redhead and that kid is Chinese. I KNOW something weird happened!)

 

 

 

My friend's DH is Chinese, and all three of their kids look just like him. She gets annoyed when she's out with the kids, sans husband, and people make comments on her adopted kids. So unless you see both parents...don't jump to conclusions. ;) I guess there's always something! :)

[Impish]

My friend's DH is Chinese, and all three of their kids look just like him. She gets annoyed when she's out with the kids, sans husband, and people make comments on her adopted kids. So unless you see both parents...don't jump to conclusions. ;) I guess there's always something! :)

Yup. Or like my poor dh, who is Metis, and looks like his First Nations Mother...and our children whose colouring take after his Norwegian/Swedish Father and me. The number of rude comments that we've had, from strangers, to his adopted family members assuming that either he'd married me with all of the kids already present or that I'd fooled around on him...Oy!