likely a much better (and nicer) way to spend your time! i have apparently reached my life time quota of dealing pleasantly with incompetence. because it now makes me CRAZY. i am currently dealing with waste management attempting to get a recycle container (which they offered us in a letter, but have since thought better of?), and ATT with phone and wifi troubles, and dell computers with student offers of free tablets with computers that arent free', actually. really, if i were you i'd rather someone had stolen whatever it was, because theft is currently more appealing than mass incompetence and apathy.... but i suppose it is more likely that the post office had (a) delivered a mistaken notice, (b) delivered a notice for something that they actually had already returned to sender without notifying us ever that it was there, © left it in the delivery truck by mistake, (d) set it down somewhere in the post office where it doesn't belong, (e) dropped and broken it and therefore lost it, (f) or anything as long as i didn't have to wait in line for 1.5 hours to find out what it was. truly. i just need to get a grip, but right now i just really can't take someone lying to me about a service that they really don't offer. sigh... i wish i felt better now. maybe i'll put in how to train your dragon ;) ... its bound to be more productive. ann

re mesa verde: she could call and ask the rangers. ten years ago, it was possible to book a tour of one of the houses that is visible from the parking lot near the visitors' center. if her children are like mine, they could do that on their own, while she watched from the parking lot. i seem to remember a ramped trail entrance, too.... but if she doesn't have a wheel chair, the parking lot may be it. again, completely from memory, which is notoriously faulty, i think its possible to walk from the bottom of the ramp into the house. she would have to leave the same way rather than climb the ladder to continue the tour, but it would give her a taste. re grande canyon. ten years ago, it was possible to park right by one of the trails down. she could go just a short way down; it changes everything. otherwise, a view from the rim would be good. how come she has no interest in having anything to help her? since breaking my knee cap, i have found a wheel chair invaluable for when i want to be out doing things with my kids. it is more work, but it means we can do things we couldn't do otherwise. and its a clue to those around me that i might be injured. hth, ann

our experience is that REI really means it. we buy our tents there. we use them.... a lot. after several years of use, a zipper failed on one of them. i called REI. i explained we'd used the tent A Lot, and that the entry door zipper had broken. without skipping a beat, the person said, "oh, you should send it back to us and we'll replace the zipper for free. I'll send you a shipping label". and so they did. when they looked at it, they decided NOT to replace the zipper but to replace the WHOLE TENT. again, i asked if they were sure, and yes they were. they explained they'd much rather replace something and have a happy customer telling everyone about REI than an unhappy customer telling people negative things about REI. so i would for sure return it. in this case, this is truly what they want. hth, ann

:lol: :leaving: :smilielol5: :rofl: :willy_nilly: :rofl: :smilielol5:

what to do? this is a step: we are talking about it openly. now we need to talk about it openly with people we know in real life. we need to vote with this issue in mind. it may mean voting for folks who have another policy we don't like. but if talking about gun control means a candidate loses, they won't do it, and we need it done. we have to be willing to put money behind it. the anti-regulation group has huge money behind them. and i think we need to work on changing viewpoints. i have promised myself not to stay silent when people insist their second amendment rights are more important than children's lives. it isn't easy, but its important. whatever they were thinking when they framed the second amendment, i'm pretty sure it wasn't automatic weapons in Chipotle. fwiw, ann

we are parsing horror. if we, some of the most compassionate and thoughtful people i have found, cannot simply be horrified and not split hairs, then what hope do we have? children died. they didn't need to. i am horrified. we CAN do something. we can do many somethings. we haven't done much. i am ashamed that we haven't done much. australia's reaction to the Port Arthur shooting truly does show that if people have the will to change their reality, they can. let's get it done. ann

dd#3 studied with dale gamache this past year. she learned SO much. he is a very, very good teacher. she will continue next year, and dd#4 will start. fwiw, my experience is that if you follow the system, it works. ie. fill in an application form and mail it. if you deviate from the pattern, then sometimes you reach him, sometimes you don't. when i have called him on the phone number listed on the la clase divertida site, he has answered most times. when i have sent email, not so much. however, if you need instant access, or a 24 hour turn around, he likely isn't your guy. hth, ann ps. oh elizabeth, i wonder if our kids were in the same class? dd was mondays and wednesdays for spanish one.

fwiw.... i remember the Leaf win of '67. i was at all the home games! what a team that was.... johnny bower, frank mahovlich, tim horton (yes, tim horton!), Dave Keon, George Armstrong, Eddie Shack...and red kelly. what a team that was..... ann

and someone else may be glad you did.... about 12 years ago, a neighbor called and threatened to beat me if my husband wouldn't. it was beyond weird. he said he would call the police, and i said, "great. then i can explain to them how you threatened violence." he back peddled, but after i stopped shaking i called the non-emergency line and documented it. it was a "he said, she said" but still, it was there. when he pepper sprayed another neighbor, they did the same thing. when he cut another neighbor's well pipes, they did the same thing. then, last year, when he shot and killed someone else, there was a paper trail of threats and violence, and it helped the prosecution. there was no way anyone could claim he was a good and reasonable neighbor. very sad, but in the end i was glad i had called. fwiw, ann

(((luanne))) so glad you had time together..... its hard to lose them at any age! prayers and blessings, ann

add me to the pm list, too, please. been there, done that, lived to tell the tale..... unlike so many, who make the mistake of going back or dropping by, or arranging to meet someone.... tell her to be so, so careful. this is the most dangerous time. hugs, ann

any house with my dh in it is perfect..... i had the perfect structural house before i married dh. this is better :) ann

dd #3 says Hrimaly Scales for violin, International Version http://www.amazon.com/Hrimaly-Studies-Schirmers-Library-Classics/dp/0793525683 both her teachers used it with her, and with her sister. hth, ann

i will ask dd when they get home. right now, they are using Fleisch, but that is more advanced.... i just can't remember what the first one was... off to look, ann

for me, this was and is key. they are called triggers. and i am so absent minded that without them i would be toast. other people can provide the triggers. eg. dd practices the violin three times a day. each time she starts, I get up and work in the kitchen. while i work in the kitchen, i do laundry. it works. eg. dh gets up just 5 minutes before me. by the time i am up, he is just starting the coffee maker. then, we unload the dishwasher while the coffee brews. i load any left over dishes, put in the first load of laundry, and voila, the coffee is done. we sit and read our morning news on line. and so it goes. i also use the timer as a trigger. i use the timer A Lot. you asked for helpful ones. i leave my cell phone in my purse. that way, i can call it using the house phone and find my purse, which has my keys in it. i separated the keys, so i can only lose one at a time, rather than all of them. they each have a pocket of my purse they belong in, and they Always go in there. if i ever just set a key down, it will be gone for days/forever. i run circuits. eg. we hang dry all of our laundry. i hand carry three or four items to the line outside. i bring in three or four items and put them away. while i am in the bedrooms, i pick up any stray glasses etc and take them to the kitchen. and , oh look, the washing machine lid is open, i must be hanging up laundry. i take 3-4 more items out, hang them up, bring more in, etc, etc. at the end of 20 minutes, everything is hung up, everything dry is put away, all the glasses are out of the bedrooms. i tried for 30 years to do it the way i thought it "should be done"... wet laundry in laundry basket out to the line, dry laundry in laundry basket back in to the house, things folded and put away, but i failed completely on the last step. this way is better. hth, ann

for me, it is the art of moments. i look for moments of beauty, moments of joy, moments of humour..... i refuse to label myself as "in pain" or "sick" .... there are parts of me that are doing really well, most of the time.... maybe aim for moments of beauty.... ann

well, fwiw, when i was a single mom, i decided one thing i was going to do for mother's day, and did it. (this was after a few years of thinking that i would rather have nothing than do it myself. a few years of nothing and i realized i needed a new strategy ;) a few years, i focused on making my mom's day nice. then i added in choosing one thing for me, too. i would buy myself chocolates or bagles or something else. what i learned, is that i get to choose whether its a good day or not. if i pin it on what they do for me, some years will be diamond, some years will be coal, but if do something for my mom, and something for me, then every mother's day is a good day.... and if my family does something, then its extra nice. why not try having your kids make cards for their grandmothers and maybe bake a special treat and mail it off. at some point, one of them make think to do something for you, too. (or not, but you will have brightened your moms' day!) hth, ann

one of our favourite films of all time is from new zealand - Second Hand Wedding. and we agree with the "shall we dance" from japan with subtitles suggestion - it was my father-in-law's favourite movie. we don't consider canadian films "foreign", but "a nest of singing birds" is one that stuck with me.... have fun! ann

i've had four naturally. after the first one, each time as transition arrives, i have been heard to say, "i remember this part. i hate this part." what helped me was knowing that women have done this for thousands of years, and so i can, too. that and "this too shall pass".

its worth the effort and the fight.... really... when we started, we were a typical american family, eating lots of meat, fast food, sugar, snack food, sodas, etc, etc, etc. when i started, i started with really simple things like making hamburger helper and adding peas to it. there was howling and gnashing of teeth. i simply said that i was willing to cook hamburger helper, even though it was really unhealthy, with peas but not without. their call. they said they'd never eat it again. a week later, they grudgingly asked for it with peas. one down. i bought a lazy susan to put on the table for meals like make your own tacos/burritos/ fajitas. i put little bowls of lots of things including cheese, avocado (i found bribery in this form worked well), and then lettuce, tomato, onion, green pepper, olives, salsa, cilantro.... i watched, and sure enough, one dc made her taco with only meat and cheese. i looked up, smiled and said simply "everyone needs to have a tomato and one other vegetable of your choice. you can put it in your meal or eat it separately afterwards. grumbling, but compliance this time. then we started with "make your own pita pizza". same rule: two veggies on the pizza or separately, their call. then, i used the recipes from the "lazy spoons" cookbooks for muffins like "chocolate zucchini", carrot cake muffins, etc. they were super tasty, and their recipes are low fat and healthy calorie, so it worked out really well. any meat and potato meal included two cooked veggies to go with it, as i reduced the amount of meat. we went from at least 8 ounces per person to 4 ounces per person. i did it by serving four ounces with the potatoes and two veggies, and then the other 4 ounces were there for folks who wanted/needed it, but only after the veggies were gone. then, i ventured into soups. again, bribery won the day. with each soup, i made fresh bread. everyone got one slice of fresh bread to start, and another when the soup was at least half gone. they started asking for soup, because they knew bread came with it ;). fast forward eight years, and we are now vegetarian most days, with a few meat days. there is also a cookbook on how to hide pureed vegetables in foods you already make. (things like cutting mashed potatoes with pureed cauliflower or parsnips). it got to to the point where they played "find the vegetables" in their meals which was good, because it added humour to it all. ironically, it hasn't helped their weight, but has helped the acne and moods and energy.... and it helped dh and i lose 70 pounds between us. good luck - its a gift you give them! ann

i'd much rather the pop up with everyone than a larger camper that doesn't fit everyone. the kids can always go the tent route with you in the pop up when you are all ready for that next step, too. hth, ann

we are in year ten of having beach pebbles for a front lawn. we just bought a whole lot more to do the sides and back of the house. this is not inexpensive, so its hard for me to imagine the trashy comment. because they are beach pebbles, they are rounded, so walking in bare feet is fine. we put pond liner under the front, and cloth liner the rest of the places. we get huge winds frequently, and the pebbles do not blow. tornado country would be a different matter, but we had 65 mph winds yesterday, which blew off the spa cover even though it was latched on, and the pebbles did not move. we have white granite right beside the house, then railway ties, then a brick pathway, more railway ties, the beach pebbles, more railway ties and a split rail fence. we also have lots of pine trees. we use a large rake, and it works beautifully with the beach pebbles. hth, ann

some people are more able to be flexible than others, for a whole host of reasons. i tend to be very matter-of-fact about these things. "I'm training to be a midwife. Approx, one in seven babies is born on Mondays, and every other day of the week, so occasionally I will have to cancel to deliver a baby. On those days, i could come for two hours and do the kitchen and the bathrooms if you'd like." then its his call. so sorry about your dog.... she looks so very much like my dear daisy.... ((((puddles)))) ann

our dear daisy, a standard poodle, really doesn't think she's a dog, and so is astonished when left at the kennel. our kennel has an option where we can pay extra for someone to play with her one on one for an hour. that seems to make all the difference for her (and for me). maybe you could ask about that? good luck! it is worth trying to find a way to do it well. something else we have tried is trading dog care with another family. however, given that daisy doesn't think she's a dog, it is a little rough, so we have stopped trying that. hth, ann

for me, this is really helpful. if one of my dc were on the bus, what would i want another parent to do? and for me, that would definitely be "call". fwiw, ann in part, this comes from a deep sense that we are failing one another when we try to pretend that it has nothing to do with us. it really does take a village to raise a child, and we need to be that village.