well, fwiw, when i was facing ovarian AND kidney cancer last year, i got to the point where i just couldn't talk about it any more. i just couldn't. it was just too much all of the time. so i resorted to emails, messaging, facebook.... and sometimes just silence. i just needed to "be". and one thing i learned thru the process, is that whatever is going to make for the best outcome has got to be okay. so if i didn't want to call folks, that had to be okay. i did appoint one of our dds as the offical news giver, and she regularly posted stuff and called people. and said, "i'll let mom know you called". all that said, i did call our dds not at home the first time. fwiw, ann

some ebb, some flow.... we have two who are 26 and 30, and two who are 14 and 15. in their early years, everyone sang, and played piano. oldest also play flute. youngers also play violin. oldest isn't doing any music right now. second oldest isn't, either, but still loves to sing. third and fourth are still involved in violin and piano. in their early years, everyone danced. oldest still dances, and performs (as a hobby). second doesnt. third and fourth still do. in their early years, everyone rode horses. oldest went on to be on the equestrian team at university, and still rides as a hobby. second stopped at the end of high school youngers stopped due to allergies. in their early years, everyone did theater. older two no longer do, although they both love live action roll play. youngers still do. #3 has traded the stage for the pit. #4 is about to audition for a musical. in their early years, everyone played soccer. no one does now. in her early years #2 took art lessons every day after school. one of her degrees is in illustration. she isn't using it currently, but still does as a hobby. hth, ann ps. my goal was to let them try lots of things, let them select those down, and then once they leave home, they do what they do. (roots and wings). however, what they all learned was self discipline and focus, and they will have those forever.

fwiw, i have spent the last few weeks looking at this. we are in SoCal, and dh wants dc to be eligible to apply to the UCs. i narrowed it down to what i consider viable options for us: i) acceptance by exam (SAT I + 2 SATII) and the one we are aiming for ii) a to g met by AP exams and 2 SATIIs dd #3 is a sophomore this year. she is just finishing her AP bio course thru pennsylvania homeschoolers. she will do AP chem next year thru them, too. for the UCs, two science APs at at least a 3 meets the complete science requirement. on the college board website, there are equivalents for the a-g courses, which are mostly APs with a required grade. our current plan for dd#3 is grade 10: ap bio grade 11: ap chem, ap us history, and maybe ap calculus a/b or one of the ap english grade 12: ap english, ap calculus b/c, and maybe ap spanish or latin and maybe AP music theory subject tests: spanish, latin, world history it is daunting. dd #3 is dyslexic, so testing is a lousy way to go.... but she is an amazing biologist already, and an amazing violinist. i must confess part of me hopes she gets admitted thru the violin. there is also admission thru exception, but ??? hth, ann

plant a garden, get as many chickens as your location will allow, cook from scratch (and fruit trees if your location permits). group activities by location. eg. a trip to the library might also include the bank because they are close to one another. i don't go out for just one thing unless its an emergency. we have carpools for almost all the kids activities. it really does cut down on gas costs, and build community. and go to as plant-based a diet as you can manage. (meat is expensive) hth, ann

can you think of it like a broken leg? if you had a broken leg, you might be annoyed with yourself for breaking it, but you would go to a doctor, and do what it took to help it heal well. our oldest is on depression meds now.... and has been to therapy. (with the broken leg, you would have physio therapy... ) there are some things that get better faster with help, and depression is one of them. ((hugs)) ann

encourage her to read this thread.... she won't feel so alone.... and really, it happens to most of us at least once. this one ended well. that makes it a good learning. hugs, ann

when we visit the big island, we rent a house on the hilo side, near Champagne pond. (we find a house in the kapoho beach gated community, which is where champagne pond is.) eg. http://www.vrbo.com/100492(we haven't stayed in this particular one, but its location is wonderful) i love to swim with the large turtles enjoy! ann

i'm 55 now.... every day the hips and one elbow hurts. other joints take turns joining in ;) now that i've broken my knee cap, they promise me it will join in most days, too. sigh.... but i have started on the exercises in this book: pain free for women, by pete egoscue. reviews are good, so we'll see how it goes. obvious i am only doing upper body exercises right now.... and i find daily kale and banana help the hips a lot.... ann

if there is a bad vibe, i leave. that's it, that's all. ann

i had one at 23, one at 26, one at 39 and then one just before i was 41. i had more energy for the first two, more patience and wisdom for the next two. it isn't easy having teens and toddlers. i'd do it again in a heartbeat. hth, ann

we did them outside, too. its a new tradition for us - this is the second year. we are in the high desert of SoCal. i am going to give the wind a week, and then have the dc sweep. (i am still in a brace, so no sweeping for me ;). and in the meantime, we can enjoy the splash of colour, which delights all of us! ann

very big smile. i love that he knew what he needed.... and that you heard that and went with it! ann

from behind the pulpit, i would appreciate knowing the real and specific reasons. its hard to hear, but so important. how else will the staff know something isn't working if you don't tell them? journal like crazy for a few days so you are clearer on what specifically is the deal breaker (s). then write and to go talk to the pastor and one lay person. fwiw, ann

bail. bail now. is it typical for your pastor to visit you when you aren't expecting him? does he just randomly visit? i have been a pastor of three large churches, and two smaller ones, and there is almost never time for random visits. and if someone told me what you have told your pastor, my first concern would be for your kids, and then for you. many hugs and blessings, ann ps. im sure the church down the street will have a service tomorrow.

:grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: your poor momma's heart. the first Easter was a heartbreak for Mary before it was anything else.... and it happened in the midst of the passover celebrations..... i just wish you didn't need to feel that at this level of hurt.... ann

actually i think we are really already doing this. eg. some of dh's research is in the area of climate change. i read in the media about the controversy between scientists about it, and really, any controversy there is is manufactured. just over 2 % of people with science degrees who claim to study climate change believe (intentional word use) that there is a controversy. the others have shown that the climate is changing and has changed in a way that is different. (ie. NOT what one would predict from previous climate). one of his colleagues was silenced and not permitted to talk to press or publish. but 2000-2008, most research that might have provided policy-relevant data in the area of climate change was unfunded, which is another way of silencing. and then there is evolution, and the age of the earth. so yes, we would attempt that. and have (eg. galileo). and are (eg. hanson).

when we had our windows done last year, we didn't tip. but we did order pizza a few times, and i made muffins each morning. both were quite appreciated. fwiw, ann

its only five nights. it will be fine. one of our rituals is braiding hair each morning. some of us pack in bathing suits for modesty while swimming, others of us don't. we do pack in toothbrushes and floss. we don't pack in soap other than biodegradable dish soap. we pack in pads, toilet paper, and lots of large ziploc baggies. (clean paper goes in one, dirty paper goes in another....) the bottle and funnel thing works for high altitude mountaineering when you can't go outside your tent.... i am thinking you're not doing that this time ;) it is a different world, and its rules and possibilities are different. i think you'll have the most fun if you embrace it as something unique. ie. its not a different form of car camping, it is its own thing. have fun! ann

:party: :party: :party: i feel the first annual italian well trained mind board field trip comin' on....

our family is a mix of atheists, agnostics and christians. we use the question: what shows the greatest love? as a way of helping everyone decide which path to take. we also use: how would you like to be treated if you were them? (a version of the golden rule that has the advantage that they haven't heard it a million times and so actually can take it in) naomi drew's "peaceful parents, peaceful kids" is a mostly secular resource that gives specific tools for creating harmonious relationships. (things like "no name calling"). (while she herself is a person of faith, she wrote for everyone). it is an easy read, great ideas, and can be used again and again. i would recommend starting there. (this isn't an atheist/person of faith issue, this is a relationship issue. you may find it helpful to treat it that way.) fwiw, ann

my first thought is that she is just at that age where her hormones will change what her body does with extra food intake. ie. she may not thank you six months from now. in the meantime, adding fresh avocado to just about anything is a lovely way to get extra healthy fat and calories. there were two years in one dds life where she got a milk shake every single day. yoghurt parfaits are yummy, and you can buy them "ready to go". hmmm.... nuts in a bowl to snack on? trader joes has some "to die for" individual trail mix packets. hth, ann

what a fun idea! going to try to remember it for next year; the younger two still haven't seen the movie, so that could be really fun! ann

and they don't ever quit when you are home with all the laundry caught up, showered and with a clean house. no, those water pumps, they KNOW when to act up. and no one can tell me different.

amen

very big and relieved smile and sigh.... i am so very thankful it worked out so well! enjoy a wonderful weekend, ann