In our house paying for college has been a team effort and involved mixing many methods to pay for it. The biggest has been merit aid from ACT scores. That’s where our kids started was seeing how low they could get it with merit aid. Then there was a combination of small amounts of institutional financial aid, federal student loans, earnings from student employment (summers and part time during school), transferring de credits and parental help. Combining all those things made it possible for my guys to go away to four year schools. There was no way only one method would have paid. Scholarships weren’t enough. Kids couldn’t earn enough. We couldn’t contribute enough. Loans in that amount would have been a terrible idea. But piecing it all together has been doable. I know it is unpopular but I think student loans can be worth it sometimes. My oldest has less than $20,000 in federal loans and he had a fantastic college experience and landed a good job. His payments are manageable and he has no regrets. There is a something in between zero debt and six figure debt. Sometimes it feels like it all gets lumped in together and I think student loans can be a good investment. Have to be careful, of course.

Quoting myself with results. My ds is positive. He has a mild cold but definitely has symptoms. He works remotely and is fine to take a Dayquil and forget about it. It isn't so bad as something that he would ever go to the doctor for. Mainly a cough and just feeling run down. The housemate that originally tested positive is feeling better. The girlfriend originally tested negative at the same time but has since been tested again and awaiting results. The other housemate is also awaiting results. They are all doing okay. They put up Christmas lights and decorated inside the house. All but one are able to keep working remotely. My best friend who lives about an hour away tested positive. Her husband got tested because he has symptoms. He was positive so she got tested and got a positive although she is totally asymptomatic. She's a high school teacher so has been in the classroom with it. Her school is careful but obviously it is still an issue.

We live in East TN. My oldest boys got the free monthly books from her twenty years ago. She really has done so much good with her money and celebrity. She is so loved. A couple years ago my dd was in a speech contest. She did really well...but then a girl got up and spoke about Dolly and I knew my dd didn’t have a shot 😂

While we have been pretty careful (way more careful than anyone i know IRL but reckless based on what alot of people on this board have done, I guess I'm a Covid moderate if there is such a thing), I am not going to do anything different in my home if and when my adult sons (ages 20 and 22) return for Christmas. I am not hosting a big family Thanksgiving. I'm not going to expose myself to all the young adults in the extended family and I'm not going to expose old folks to my young adults returning home. But for my own kids in my own house, I'm risking exposure. No one here is super high risk and we won't go out to church, visit elderly neighbors, etc. They can come home and expose dh and me if they are positive but we'll stop the transmission there and quarantine the nuclear family pretty much to the house. I'm willing to risk exposure to myself but not looking to take it out and expose anyone else. Turns out it looks like my 22 yo actually has Covid now. He is awaiting a test but his roomate is positive and has had symptoms and my ds is having symptoms while waiting for his test. I know it sounds crazy but even if he is positive I would let him come home. I would definitely take precautions around the house and I would know the risk...but I just can't see turning away my dc even if he actively has Covid. I have only seen my 20 yo for a couple very brief visits since last Christmas. If he comes into town for a few days I am definitely not making him quarantine in his room. I won't take him to visit Grandpa, nor will the rest of us visit Grandpa for a few weeks, but I'm okay with the risk to myself.

I would not consider it all or nothing. Skipping Thanksgiving doesn’t need to mean denying grandparents the opportunity to see their grandchildren. I struggle with my dad on this. He is alone because my mom died and he is a very social person. He is very close to my children. It has been really hard on him. But I canceled the family Thanksgiving I traditionally host. I would not have been able to enjoy it because I would have been so concerned about all the families mixing from all over and being in my house for hours. My dad is very unhappy. But I would see my dad with my kids in other circumstances. We have even met him out in a restaurant. I know indoor dining is too risky for some people but for us it seems less so. We go at slow times and we don’t hang around. So visiting across a table from him for an hour or so versus having him in my home all day long and having the kids climb up close to him, etc. I wouldn’t do the big Thanksgiving gathering but I would do something else to visit (distanced, masked, fewer people, shorter time).

My 22 yo ds called me this morning and informed me that he will be getting tested tomorrow. One of his housemates is positive with mild symptoms. He shares a small rental house with three other people. It is him, two friends and a girlfriend of one friend; all recent college grads. They have been pretty careful, just sticking to themselves socially. Three of the four work remotely from the house. The one who goes out to work is the one who got it. He is also the one with the live in girlfriend. So far the girlfriend has tested negative and the other two guys are getting tested in the morning. They all figure they are very exposed at this point. It's a small house and they do almost everything together. Instead of leaving and going to their parents' houses they are all just hunkering down in the house. They had each planned to go home for Thanksgiving but now they are planning their own holiday there together. I'm not terribly worried but of course I am some. It really felt like a matter of time before one of us got it. I do feel a little vindicated in canceling my extended family Thanksgiving get together. I was willing to have my own adult children come home and risk exposure but I didn't want to expose anyone else to them and I didn't really want to expose my family to all the young adults coming in from all over. This is exactly the scenario I envisioned being dangerous and putting me at risk of hosting a superspreader event. So, we will wait and see.

Well, the kids I know seem pretty happy. This is a small town and people stay close. I don't see alot of angst amongst this crowd. Of course, I don't know the inner workings of families or what things are said or felt behind closed doors and these aren't people I have a ton in common with so they aren't my best friends. I'm just making the point that these moms didn't get to the end and find out they were wrong. Their choices worked for them. High school sure ended up being alot harder here than I imagined when mine were little, and I never expected it to be easy. So, I agree with the OP more than I disagree! I am just pointing out that having gotten to the end of the road, and having watched many many other families get to the end, I don't think it is universal that high school is really hard. So not all these moms are just delusional. It isn't what I want for my family but it isn't a complete disaster if people don't get a rigorous high school education. I'm not advocating it (I'm in the camp that if you aren't all in then they should probably just go to public school), but I have seen outcomes just fine for families that choose the easy route so maybe those moms are not as delusional or negligent as you suspect. It isn't for us as a family to approach it that way but it isn't an unmitigated disaster either, in what I have seen. Now, as far as kids feeling they got the best they could have gotten? Well, I have raised two dc to adulthood. One graduated and working and the other approaching college graduation. I made myself crazy trying to give them the best of everything academically and made sure the best I could that I wasn't closing doors for them, etc. I could not have been more devoted to them and their high school educations. But, there are still things I look back on and realize I could have/should have done things differently and I'm sure they could wish for more or something different. I bet most older teens and young adults look back and wish their parents had done things differently, given them more opportunities, etc.

I don't know much of anyone locally who expects what I do of my high school students. It is not intense by my standards but my dc do exceed state requirements and local custom and people do scratch their head. I'm continually told that I am way overdoing it and "but that isn't required". I do not get the message others complain about that everything must be outsourced. Most moms I know here are doing it themselves and are very relaxed about it. Most will tell you no one really needs algebra or chemistry or whatever they might be challenged to teach. I actually do outsource alot- online classes and then de. I was asked to be on a panel for homeschooling high school and I was mocked for paying for classes when everthing you need is available for free. They thought I was an idiot 😞 But here is the thing- most of those kids are just fine. We have a local Christian U with close to open acceptance. These kids I know struggle with the ACT but that doesn't matter for this school. They get in, they live at home and go to college. Most have a nice college experience and graduate and go on with their lives never feeling like their education was lacking. These moms that said it was easy and cheap and no biggie- they weren't wrong for their situation. Their kids did just fine and everyone is happy. That approach isn't for us. My dc did not want to attend this local U. They wanted to go elsewhere and do other things and they needed scholarships to make it happen. They also needed more of a background to succeed where they went. But I don't see these other moms as being wrong, exactly. It was okay that they couldn't teach foreign language or algebra 2. It worked out fine for their goals and they were relaxed and took every afternoon off and six weeks at Christmas and whatever. So I don't see these moms getting to the end and having regret or feeling like they were wrong about what they set out to do. The ones that get to high school and feel it is too hard often send their kids to school. But I see alot that go along with the very light schooling to the end and the end does seem to fit in with their goals. It's not for us but I have seen it work out okay.

We have a neighbor that plays video games all day and night really loud. It is like a loud base boom booming you can hear down the street. It feels like the house is shaking sometimes. That is the one noise that really gets to me. We won’t hear it for awhile and then he’ll be back at it for a few weeks. Kids playing is not a bother. And we have kids that play basketball across the street into the wee hours of the morning. I’m more prone to think little kids need sleep than to be bothered by the noise but I do think it is a bit unreasonable to be bouncing a basketball in the middle of the night. I’m pretty easy going so it doesn’t bother me but I wouldn’t let my kids do it and I can see people being annoyed. I have been wondering about barking dogs. New neighbors leave their dog out during the day sometimes while they are gone and he barks all day. They seem to be leaving him out less so maybe they were hoping he would adjust. I don’t know the people and I don’t know that much about dog behavior but I have wondered if that is considered reasonable to leave a big dog barking from morning to evening. I think general noise from kids playing and yard work should be reserved for after 8:00 am on weekdays and after 9:00 am on weekends. Earlier than that seems intrusive. Evening hours seem more flexible to me. Except fireworks. Those are bad except 4th of July before midnight. I actually like noise during the day. I grew up in a city and a completely quiet street makes me a bit uneasy. I like feeling like there is enough busyness around that someone would notice if someone was breaking into my house or bothering my dd when she took the dog out in the morning. I like a healthy amount of neighborhood activity. It makes me feel safer. I know people that grew up in the country feel the opposite.

Exciting times!

You are right. In fact, I do always point out to the kids that he does always come through. I ask them to name a time he truly let them down and they can't. Now, he has made things dramatic because a kid will be waiting at the curb to jump in the car and get where he needs to go. But we are hard pressed to ever think of a time he just straight up didn't show up where he needed to be when they needed him.

I'll admit I'm pretty against it. I have one dd and I would have been open to it when she was old enough to ask for it and make her own decision. She's now 12 and while pretty feminine in most ways, is not interested. I don't think it is as horrid as I once did. I was pregnant with dd at the same time as a Hispanic friend and we were both having our first daughters. She is a tomboy and I wouldn't have thought she would be one to pierce a baby's ears. Yet, before the girls were even born she asked me about when I was going to get her ears pierced. She was trying to determine how many weeks old the baby should be. I told her probably not for ten years and she was just shocked. She asked me "how will people know it is a girl if you don't pierce her ears?!?!" Seriously, she was shocked that I wouldn't be piercing my baby's ears. Really taken aback. That's when I realized how strong the cultural aspect is and I have been way less judgy since then.

My dh does this stuff too. Been going through it for 25 years. I see no improvement. The biggest issue is that no one in the family counts on him to be where he is supposed to be (mainly home)on time. It’s terrible because dh is solid and reliable and faithful and devoted to his family. Yet, all the dc and I feel like we can’t count on him. It’s so silly that he has undermined everyone’s trust over such a dumb issue (saying you will be home by 6:00 and you can’t because you have a meeting until 5:30 with a 40 minute commute). It’s frustrating. I do not feel as zen about it as you do!

Classy of Kanye to concede! He was on the ballot here. I knew he would be but for whatever reason seeing him there was really jarring. LOL. Everything is weird.

It has been five years since we had this issue so it might not be the same but my ds had two recommenders who both had it submitted, they thought, but they had missed the final “submit” button. Both insisted they had completed it. One went back in and actually ended up calling common app for support before realizing there was one final page she had missed. The other recommender was not willing to go back in so it just never got submitted. So not sure it is the same issue five years later but it was such that the recommenders really believed they had completed it but had missed some final step.

I think we will stay where we have 2800 sq ft. We just refinished the basement bedroom/bathroom with a mind for it to be a comfortable place for young adult/married couple/ young family to stay. I have never had a place to stay with parents as an adult. MIL is a hoarder. My parents bought a small condo. We have had times when our family really could have used having someplace to go. We had a tree fall through our home once and we lived with a tree in our living room for a week because we really had no where to go. That was pretty traumatic. When we were forced to relocate following dh's unemployment we had a week between house closings. We had to spend alot of money on a hotel at a time when money was really tight. It was stressful. I so wished I had a parental home I could crash at! I hope to be able to be that for my kids. I also think of worse scenarios where I would want to be able to provide a home for an adult child and/or their family. We don't have alot to give our kids financially but I hope to always be a soft place to land physically. Now, if we had to relocate to a more expensive area or had our own financial crisis I would be totally be open to downsizing if it was in the best financial interests of dh and myself. But for now, we would like to have the space for them.

I haven’t been to a doctor for five years. I have gotten mammograms but that is it. I have a BMI around 30-31 and I fight to keep it there. I am 46 years old. I have never had any health problems at all found on bloodwork up until 5 years ago when I quit going. The last time I went my dr gave me advice about eating small meals all day long to keep my metabolism going. That is totally wrong for me and I know it. Fighting to stay around 30 BMI means I know a lot about my body and how it works and eating a granola bar as soon as my feet hit the floor in the morning is only going to make things worse. Ugh. I should go back. My mom started having all kinds of health problems when she was just a couple years older than I am now. But I’m just sick of dealing with the weight. I feel bad about it on a daily basis and I work at it on a daily basis. Being told to eat every two hours and skip the drive thru (haven’t eaten from a drive thru in at least five years maybe more) is just so insulting.

My funny- at around 7:00 when polls started to close my 12 yo dd went to take her dog outside and told me “you can tell me who wins when I come in.” Oh how I wish it was that easy! Haha

Yes. Was just explaining that exact thing to my 17 yo yesterday. Actually, he had seen something about it and initiated telling me about it. Lol. I was like, “yeah, I remember that. I had two kids by then.”

I usually host a big Thanksgiving for my side of the family and my two adult sons come in from out of town. This year it will just be dh, me, 17yo ds, and 12 yo dd. 22 yo ds might come in but considering we aren’t doing much I’m going to make sure he feels comfortable choosing to go to his gf’s family. It will be my first year without all my kids home for Thanksgiving. I don’t know what to do to make it special but I don’t feel like cooking for just us. I think we will get takeout from a kind of fancy catering place that is doing takeout family meals. I might make a special thing or two that is traditional for our family if the kids want it. But, honestly, I’m depressed about the whole thing and I don’t feel like cooking the meal will help. Not sure what we will do with the day. Maybe drive up through the mountains.

I think it is the parents of the little kids that would visit the event that are fussing while OP has a teen. OP is frustrated that the parents that planned to drive through are complaining when it is the teens that are the ones hurting the most. But I could be wrong. Wouldn’t be the first time.

I just asked my ds, who I would say doesn't use many apps for school, what he would answer and he said either "reminders" or the app he uses to scan and submit things. (I forget the name of the one he uses but I use Turboscan for the same purpose). He said he would use that as a setup to discuss homeschooling or his academic style and goals. He would basically pick an app and then segue into something that he really wanted to talk about that would tell more about him that he wanted to highlight. He is glad to not have that question on the scholarship application he is working on.

I am always amazed (though I shouldn’t be anymore) about people’s unwillingness to see past themselves and what any situation might mean to them. There are other people involved too!

I think training it as a daily maintenance task is a far better lifelong skill than how to clean a gunked up bathroom. It takes so little time to wipe the countertop/sink/toilet/area on the floor around the toilet and run the brush through the toilet bowl. I do it when I am completely done getting ready so I get all the makeup gunk that makes such a mess. If you get up all the toothpaste gunk/hair stuff/etc every day it is quick and easy. I spray down the shower after I get out. I brush my teeth and then go back and rinse it off with the handheld showerhead. I absolutely hate scrubbing the tub/cleaning toilets and I always feel like I am doing it wrong. So I let it go too long and then it is an overwhelming chore. They only good solution I have ever found is cleaning as I go while I get ready in the morning. I am really good at clean as I go while I am cooking but it took me a long time to transfer this habit to the bathroom. I am so glad I did though. Totally worth it to both avoid the big job and not have to look at a gross bathroom for days while I work up the nerve to tackle it.

In my first homeschooling run (with my boys who are now 22 and 20) I was pretty loyal to MUS math, IEW writing, SOTW for history, and Sonlight read alouds. I was never fully content though so I added random stuff on. We also did a co-op which I used for science experiments and other enrichment. I was more of a curriculum adder than jumper. I loved it all and was convinced I could squeeze it all in. We tried a few different things for grammar but MUS, IEW, and SOTW were regular in the elementary days of our homeschool. When they were in high school I saw some weaknesses and holes and I became less satisfied (mostly with the math). In high school mine also took more de or co-op classes or online to fill out their academic courses. I became less sold on the what I had done in the elementary years. Current high school senior was on the tail end of that. He got some of the old regulars but I started jumping around with things I saw recommended here. He did things differently than the first two and I tried more variety. I was also overwhelmed with my mother’s death and this particular kid had some behavior problems so it was rough for a few years. I’d be hard pressed to even remember what I did with him most subjects most years. Then on to my baby. My 7th grade dd has been in a Memoria Press core box since K. She now takes several MPOA classes. The only deviation from that has been that she had accelerated a grade or two ahead in some subjects and she is a year behind in Latin. This year she is taking a French class from another provider but other than that she has been in MP since K. I have never even looked around for other curriculum. She is an excellent student and loves school. So I could say that on the fourth kid I found something that worked and stuck with it. But I doubt my boys would have responded to MP and I know I couldn’t keep up with more than one full MP core. Definitely not four of them! But all of the kids are more than OK even though I can be hyper critical and say I would do thinks differently. The oldest graduated college in the spring and has a good job. The 20 yo has had the hardest time academically but he is still in his final semester of college with decent grades and graduating young. Math has been a real stumbling block for him and been the biggest challenge in college. I have regrets BUT a high schooler also has to cooperate and be engaged and take some responsibility for his learning. He always made good grades in any outsourced math class so he kind of skated by when he could have learned things more deeply. Kid # 3 is my academic superstar. The one that had behavior issues and I can hardly remember what curriculum we used. Kid # 4 will probably have an outcome in the range of what her brothers have done. So even in my 18th year (I think) I still don’t have an answer for the one thing I would always stick with. I do think the most important thing is getting up every day and doing school consistently and establishing good habits and an environment in which education is valuable and fulfilling and requires hard work. Having a homeschool parent willing to be committed and involved and who is striving to do the best for the kids is the biggest factor, in my opinion. I always was that parent, even if my curriculum choices weren’t great or my role was finding the best online class and supporting it. I always prioritized education and I think that was the key here.