We are typically busy and I expect to be more so because a couple of the regular destinations (like the mall, etc) aren't participating. I think we will set up a bowl of candy and put it on a table and sit out there and tell people to help themselves. I feel like the parents bringing little ones should be responsible for whether or not they want their kid touching candy or a bowl. I'm going to keep my distance, provide cheerful greetings and do it yourself candy picking. I feel like I can stay safe and it is up to the parents ushering kids around to keep them safe. In my community almost no one masks and people take very few precautions. I don't feel like I need to get bent out of shape providing some sterile experience when their parents probably do not care at all. I think we will be so busy that we will just have to hand out a giant bag of candy and then turn out our lights and hide. My only little one left home is 12.5 yo. She's still excited about it so I suspect dh will take her to a few houses and then she will hang out with me. If she was younger I might try to do more but she is young enough to deal with a less than stellar trick or treating experience.

I don’t know anything about pet insurance but I do know someone who had a golden doodle who ate everything. Regularly pooped out full socks. He had multiple surgeries because of things he ate. The owner told me there was nothing they could do about it. That golden doodles just eat everything. I don’t know what to tell you. That is crazy making. The hive always has an answer so I am hopeful someone can help you out! Sorry!

Yes. I do know what you mean and this is what I keep telling myself. It is a change in mindset from just handling whatever crisis occurs as cheaply as possible. We are trying to be grown ups and finally start doing things right the first time.

Thanks. I don't know what is behind the paneling now that I think about it. Good question. We are at the point where we are trying to do things the way we ultimately want them vs. whatever quick fixes we can manage, which is how we rolled for the first 25 years of marriage. So, I feel like we need to do the walls when we do everything else...but it is expensive. I do think some of the options that might save money now very well could ultimately not be worth it or cause other expenses (like moving the receptacle boxes). Ugh. Spending money is hard.

For mine I put the results of the net price calculator. I also put automatic scholarships and corresponding ACT score. The scholarships were such that if he had a 32, one school was cheapest, but a 33 made another cheaper, etc. A point can make a dramatic difference in how automatic scholarships played out. Of, course, that info needs to be verified each year but, honestly, so do alot of the other categories. My kids are pretty standard with readily available majors and they don't have any unusual interests so our info document was primarily about cost. That has been the biggest factor for us.

I have so many home improvement questions... I have rid my house of most wallpaper (hired that job out to a painting company). Now I’m on to the cheap 70s wood paneling. I have already painted it once so it is now a cream color and that was a good solution for awhile. But it needs to be repainted and we are getting ready to tear out the carpeting and replace with vinyl plank. We will be replacing a door off the room and trim. So, while we are at it, might as well deal with the paneling. We aren’t doing it ourselves so it is an expensive project to hire out. Replacing it with drywall is expensive (it’s a big room , 29 x 11) but that is what we were planning on. Or I could just paint it again. I didn’t love the results but they are definitely okay. But there are things like old phone jacks and other random imperfections on the walls or large holes (I think this house had an intercom system at one time) in the paneling that I really would like just gone. I have seen it recommended to hang sheetrock over the old paneling. That means all the outlets and things that are flush with the wall will need to be adjusted. Is there an advantage to hanging it over the paneling besides skipping the demo step? We had planned on going room to room and just doing things all the way but I’m balking at the cost of all new walls now that we are really ready to do it. Thoughts? Will I regret doing the rest of the room and not dealing with the walls? This is likely not our forever home. Could be, but the nature of dh’s job is also that we could need to move be there month. So resale is an issue.

I have a large built in bookcase I want/need to paint. It’s an entire wall of my basement family room. Maybe 11 ft wide by 8 feet tall. Lots of shelves. We are redoing the room (which while technically a basement is one of those that is just set down half a story and you can see from the main area of my house. So, it is a casual family room space but I would still like it to look nice. The walls and floor will be neutral (boring!) tan or greige. I would like to do something more interesting with the bookcase. The first idea I am drawn to is to paint the back wall of the shelves in a dark/bolder color and keep the rest of the shelves the same color as the walls. I think this would look good but such a big project. How do I go about this? Which part do I paint first? I know I wouldn’t be able to do it neatly enough without taping off. That’s a lot of taping. Ugh. Anyone have any tips for the best way to go about this project? I like the pictures I see of this but is the effect worth the work? While I’m drawn to the idea, it really does sound so labor intensive. Maybe not worth it. So then do I paint the built ins the exact same color as the walls? Easier but boring. Seems the safe choice. Or, I could paint the entire wall of shelves a different color than the walls of the room. Would be easier than a two color project and more forgiving to messy painting. How do I choose a color? Should it be lighter or darker than the walls? It really is the focal point of the room when looking from the main area of the house. A different color would be pretty- if I chose well which is a big if. And if I don’t like it, it would be a big chore to repaint. Which takes me back to the safe choice of just doing the same neutral as the rest of the room (boring!) So, what did you (or would you do) with a wall of built in shelves? Are you happy with the result? Any tips to make the job easier or more successful?

Southeast no where near the border. I don’t know how long I have known this but it has been awhile. I thought it was common knowledge.

We have had contractors working on our houses (which were really low end projects- nothing fancy) who really didn’t specify any preferences on anything except faucets which they requested we purchase Delta. When guys who weren’t picky about anything else, were picky about this, I listened.

I am not interested in Flylady. I tried a couple times and it is just way too much for me. I know everyone says just delete what you don't want, etc. but Flylady just doesn't work for me. Years ago I used Motivated Moms as suggested here on the board. It was pre-smartphone days. I printed a list each week and kept it paperclipped to my school agenda and just marked things off as we went. It worked very well for that time in my life. I'm just now getting back to keeping my house in good order. We've done updates to the house and my life is calmer and I am enjoying keeping my house more tidy. However, I still struggle. I am not a natural housekeeper by any means. I still need lots of tips and reminders. I don't need meal planning/cooking/shopping. More housekeeping stuff. (Like reminders for daily/weekly/monthly tasks). I'm okay with daily but my ceiling fans basically never get dusted. I need alot of help with the weekly/monthly type tasks. I am sure there are apps out there with household chore charts and reminders. I haven't even begun to research but I think I would like something like that. I know Motivated Moms has gone through some changes but I still get emails and I know they have an app. I'll check that out but I thought I'd ask for suggestions here. The best recommendations always come from this board!

Well what was really briliant is I had trained dh to do it for me. I need to retrain 🙂

We started filling up all our cars' gas tanks every Sunday. I use less than a tank a week so I only think about it on Sunday. I don't pass a gas station that is easy to stop at on my daily running so when I needed it I really had to think about when and where I would stop. We stopped this during the pandemic because we weren't driving much and we didn't go anyplace on Sundays so it wasn't like we were out an about. I am trying to get dh back into the habit, though. I also do the cleaning supplies in the bathrooms. I mentioned on a thread a couple weeks ago that I switched to more natural products. Much easier for me to do a quick clean up when I'm not worried about getting bleach stains on my clothes or smelling like bleach before I go out somewhere. I also managed to finally get in the habit of spraying down the shower quickly each day rather than having it get gross and have a big scrub job looming over me. I have managed to move to grocery shopping every two weeks. I only have two kids at home now and I can make things stretch for two weeks. I do a big shop on the weekend (curbside from Walmart). I tend to make alot of meals from scratch the first week and cook enough for two meals and stick one in the freezer. The freezer meals are not only easy but give us good eats even on the second week when I haven't been to the store for fresh meat, etc. I find that doing the grocery shopping online helps me be more organized and intentional with my purchases. I can have recipes open in another window while I add ingredients to my order. The whole setup (shopping every two weeks with online ordering) is helping make food planning/shopping/preparation/budget easier for me.

OP here with a mid term update. He was sitting pretty with As and Bs in all his classes after his first exams. The 76 on the first stats exam actually ended up as an 80. He had never even gotten out of the 60s last try so definitely an improvement. So he takes the second stats exam of the three he will have. He studies and thinks he is prepared and - he gets a 54. 🤬 So here we go down the final stretch of the semester. He feels good about all his other classes. His stats grade, and his graduation, will ride on the final exam in that class. Talk about stressful! Good grief nothing is ever smooth sailing. Thanks, all. I just needed to tell someone. Was really hoping he could do better on this second one and be more comfortable going into the final. (Though last time through he got a 40 on this particular exam. So there is improvement. Oy!)

I have this issue. I have rejection issues steming back to childhood and family issues. I have had some absolutely wonderful friends in my life but for some reason I have serious insecurity in friendship. I have friends that I love so dearly and miss and think about everyday. Yet, I don't reach out because there is a nagging part of me that feels like they don't really want to hear from me, I am just bothering them, etc. I have a friend who has loved me really well. She sat with me while my mother died and got me through the funeral, etc. She LOVES me and I know it. It still takes some serious positive self talk before I call or text or initiate a get together. I know it isn't rational but I really struggle. Some of my best friends have been people that basically forced me into friendship. Like they called me and invited me to do things ten times before I initiated once. I know I need therapy. I'm not just a jerk even though I act like one.

Yes. The people working curbside are,at least sometimes, servers who were put on curbside instead of the floor. So a server that got stuck on curbside world hardly make anything all night if people didn’t tip. My son’s girlfriend worked at Chili’s and they kept putting her on curbside because she was so good at it but she was so frustrated because she was making nothing compared to the good tips she made on the floor.

My kids have done business degrees. Oldest is accounting and he just started at a Big Four accounting firm. He never had any calculus at all. He took precalculus de at a cc and did a very basic de stats course his senior year. He didn't need to take any math in college. My second ds is a senior marketing major. His degree has been more math heavy than the accountant. He needed business calculus and two stats classes. He transferred in the business calc and first stats class from de. The second stats class has kicked his butt. More than once 😞 All that I can think would have helped him was just being more solid in the basics and more confident. I don't wish we had pushed him through calculus even though the math parts of his courses have tortured him. More solid in the basics and more comfort with math would have helped though. My third ds is still a senior in high school. He is planning on business analytics and/or accounting. Looking ahead to his coursework at our state flagship business school (which is decently ranked but not a public Ivy or anything) he will need just a business calculus class, not a full calc for STEM majors class and a stats class. He is taking AP Calculus with Derek Owens his senior year but really just because he loves math. He wouldn't need it to succeed in his business studies. All that to say that most business schools are not very math heavy. Some are more than others (middle ds has needed more than most schools I have looked at). I would focus on the algebra and precalc so he is ready to encounter the math he will in business courses. They will not expect him to have calculus but he will need to be solid enough to apply the algebra to what they study. The stats class is a good idea as an intro too. Based on my kids' experiences I would make sure the basics are solid and there is an intro to stats so that they can handle what math they are given in their business courses. *insert my standard disclaimer that I am not referring to highly competitive or Ivy type schools. I am sure some of their business degrees require more math. My experience is with a couple big state universities that are in the top 100, and smaller regional private and public universities.

Just updating because I discussed UAH scholarships unthread. Looks like they have adjusted again. My ds got a letter and he was granted another $2200. I went to the website and they had adjusted the out of state scholarships up a little at his ACT score. I still think he’ll end up at his first choice but if that doesn’t work out this would help a little at UAH.

As time has gone on we have outsourced more and more. My oldest kids are 22 and 20 and I have a high school senior and a 7th grader still at home. The oldest kids had more homegrown courses and my younger kids have had more outsourcing. It is expensive, no doubt. Things that helped with the expenses- I was always looking for one more thing to round out a curriculum, one more supplement, one more experience, etc. So, I was spending more on homeschool courses than I should have been. Others don't have this problem but for me outsourcing is just done. I budget for the course and there are no extras tacked on. So the outsourcing cuts down on the steady leak of money I was spending going it alone. In our situation, de is free/very low cost. So, while I did spend a bundle homeschooling 9th and 10th with online classes, I spent very little in 11th and 12th while accumulating a years worth of college credits. For my kids these credits transferred, and saved us thousands in college costs. This won't be the situation for everyone. I also, regretfully, admit the online classes worked better for my family than what I was doing on my own. My younger two students, with more outsourced courses, are my strongest students. My current senior is my highest ACT kid and that is going to pay off in thousands. I expect my 7th grade dd to be a high scorer as well. They are just pushed more than I was on my own, even though I really was trying. I hesitate to post this because I absolutely know that some do fantastic homeschooling on their own all through high school and I don't intend to push the opinion that outsourced classes are better. I just wasn't making homeschooling high school work on my own. I still feel sorry that I didn't do better. For us the expense of online classes is one that is primarily absorbed in 8th - 10th grade before moving to the less expensive de. It has been an investment that has paid off in scholarships, de credits. For a couple years though, the cost is high. If you do go online I recommend planning in advance to save some money. MPOA and WTMA have offered early bird rates but you have to know what you are doing in February. Also, really researching and planning can save you from late changes/drops that end up being expensive. My second ds took some classes from Kolbe but they have dropped off our list of providers we looked at because they got more expensive than the others. So, it does vary. It has worked out for us and been cheaper than private school. My dd may attend a cottage school a couple days a week next year and that will be cheaper than her current MPOA classes.

I am so sorry. We live in an area that is heavily anti-mask but our Catholic church has taken a hard line. No entry without a mask and serious distancing. Usher meets you at the door and they seat you, and they dismiss you row by row to keep people from huddling up. It's a big change. But, I am so thankful for the hard line because there is no mask judgement. No one is going to make any assumptions about you as a person because you wear a mask other than that you wanted to attend church enough to wear one. I am sure some people feel like it is overkill but I was just telling someone yesterday that I am so thankful our pastor took a hard stand. It removes all the controversy and judgement. It is the only place I go that it is just easy. I am sorry things are so hard. I have mask issues in every other area of life and it is just so tiresome. Dealing with it at church is extra sad.

Thanks. This is what I have been thinking. If the mask provides me even a small measure of protection it is worth it for me. I figure if and when we are exposed it is for short periods of time through a mask and that is better than nothing. I'm in an area where things barely shut down in the spring and things are pretty much operating normally now. We are still participating in some activities because I just can't see us not participating in anything until this is over. So we pick and choose and we mask. Honestly, we keep our space from people and my primary protection is staying home and carefully distancing when we are out. And then masks on top of that. But we are in a heavy anti-masking area. Ugh.

And where did we lose the message that the mask isn't protecting the wearer but others? Yes, Christie should have worn a mask. That way if he was the one who was infectious he would not have infected others. But if he is the only one wearing a mask in a room full of infectious people we ,pretty much at one point at least, understood that he could still get it. Now it's "I should have worn a mask" but would that even protect him? I understand that politically he isn't ready to go as far as to say that the president should have been wearing a mask, but why is everyone acting like people can protect themselves just by wearing a mask? My dd and I attend an activity where we are the only ones masked. We know the risk and we still take it. I am just waiting for the day one of us gets Covid and everyone laughs because we had been the silly ones wearing masks this whole time. I appreciate Chris Christie's comments. Kind of. But they don't get to the real issue which is that random people wearing masks to protect themselves wasn't supposed to be the message. It was supposed to be that we all wear masks (except the small number of people who cannot) to protect each other and slow things down. But Christie is pushing the "wear a mask to protect yourself" message that is driving me nutty. We do wear masks but at this point it is out of principle. I don't think it makes us very safe considering we are the only ones doing it. I keep as much distance as possible and just stay home as much as possible because I just don't know how much good my mask does when I'm the only one. If Chris Christie just had a fabric face covering and spent all that time in close contact with infectious people, he likely still would have gotten it. Then it would be "masks don't work."

Yeah I told someone that and she said that kids go missing from the local Target all the time. I asked how come we never hear about them or there is no Amber Alert and that is of course part of the cover up. So I walked right into that one. But she claimed it happens all the time. In fact, she has been there when it happened.

I would skip it if you don't feel like his current scores indicate that he has a good shot. My current senior has a 99th percentile ACT and he wasn't close on NM. He wanted to take it and he actually studied but he was not close. I advised him to skip it but he wanted to at least give it a shot. All that to say there are very bright kids who just don't score that tippy top on that one particular test and it isn't worth it for the vast majority of students. My ds is very sharp and a confident test taker but I knew he wouldn't make it. It boils down to missing just a couple on the entire test and it was easy to determine from practice tests that it wasn't worth the trouble.

Yes. I have people on my FB feed that are full in on this. I'm sure most people hear about QAnon and think no one really believes that stuff but I have educated, professional people in my circle (not close...outer rings of my circle) that are all in on this.

I’ve got renovations coming up and I’ve been pondering this too. I’ve tried to talk myself into hardwood but just too many worries about water. I’ve tried to talk myself into ceramic but it is just so hard, both on the feet and anything else that is dropped. I keep coming back to vinyl being the practical choice. I know it gets lots of hate but I don’t live in a high end house and I think vinyl is going to have to do. I will go with the nicest sheet or plank I can find, probably. Even if it is as expensive as wood or ceramic, it won’t cause me so many worries to live with.