The year my oldest went off to college when he came home that first Christmas I way overdid it for everyone. Biggest Christmas we ever had. I was definitely struggling and trying to compensate in some way but the kids just didn't care. They were polite and liked their gifts but it wasn't like they loved me more or were going to be more likely to come home or whatever. After that Christmas I changed gears and decided kids that have graduated high school are in a new category. For one, they just need so much that can't be wrapped up and put under the tree. Helping them with cars, insurance, rent, etc. is all more important and meaningful for our family. So, in our house, those graduated from high school are moving into the adult category. Now, I don't care that they play video games but I'm not buying them anymore. But I'll get you a coffee maker if you need it. My brain just works differently for the big kids. If you say college graduate what if they don't graduate? And supporting themsleves is also a kind of fuzzy zone. For example, my 22 yo graduated in May and is in a good job and 100% independent. My 20 yo just graduated in December. He is not anywhere close to being financially independent and it is going to take longer for him to find his footing career wise. We still help him but it's not getting wrapped up and put under the tree. I also set a stocking policy...LOL. Anyone that sleeps in my house on Christmas Eve gets a stocking. If you aren't here I'm not mailing it. It's just candy and silly stuff anyway. I just know that 15 years from now I don't want to be mailing stockings for kids and spouses and grandkids all over the country. Some moms love to do that stuff. I know that I would regret starting that eventually. I also ask for food requests and try to make anyting they want. Easier for me to love them that way than with wrapped gifts. I try to make coming home for the holiday warm and fuzzy and I let them sleep late and offer them a variety of pillows and I don't make them take out the trash and I just try to make it relaxing and comfortable. That feels more like how I want to love my adults on Christmas than a new pair of Airpods.

Kind of odd win but I have felt off balance with Christmas gifting to my young adults. I have wanted to transition to giving them smaller gifts and off the same kind of expectation that the still not graduated from high school younger two. I haven't quite known how to do it but I do feel certain I do not want to continue to have big Christmases for my adult kids. I definitely feel different about adult gifts and kid gifts. So my 22 yo got new bedsheets (which he had mentioned needing), AAA membership, socks, and a small package of K cups. My 20 yo got socks (more because that was what he requested), a t-shirt from my alma mater which he has started cheering for, and a document storage box. They got stockings with just candy and snacks (whereas my 17 yo ds got an expensive video game in his along with his snacks). They also got small things from their siblings. My 17 yo ds and 12 yo dd got more and fun stuff and more of a kid Christmas. It felt right and natural. I feel really glad that we are figuring out how to transition to adult style gift giving. Nothing wrong with spoiling adult kids. LOL. It's just not how we want to do it. I'd rather help my adult kids with adult needs than give them video games. Also, my 22 yo has a really good job and has more disposable income than we do. I will always want to buy for him but it would be awkward to buy him big gifts. So kind of an odd win but I feel like we had a balance that everyone feels good about. I think making good food is more important to my big kids than anything I would buy them anyway.

So the stores where I live (125 miles from Nashville) opened today to find their card readers don't work. I guess with everyplace closed on Christmas they are just figuring this out today. I just got on FB for the first time today and people are saying they can't get prescriptions, etc. because they don't have cash. Seeing it from friends that live 70 miles even east of here saying the same thing. Ugh.

The more I think about it the more it seems like an attempt to take down communications and 911. The outages are far reaching. Which is scary because it seems like a test or a dry run for something else?

I feel like I have probably given these gifts that miss even thought I can't specifically remember. Growing up we never asked for anything specific, made lists, etc. My parents and others just got us whatever they thought we would like. So when I grew up and became the giver I think I just wanted to give something fantastic that no one would have asked for. So instead of asking what someone might like I went out and just got something "inspired" LOL. I got over that and decided it was best to give someone something they actually wanted. What a novel idea! My MIL's go to small dollar gift when she needs to exchange for something is McDonald's gift certificates. Because as she says "Everyone loves McDonalds!" I suspect occasionally someone is not particularly thrilled by that gift.

Prime rib for Christmas Eve was a win. I had posted asking for help because I wasn't sure what to do with the 14 pound rib roast I had. Decided on a reverse sear method. It took longer than I expected to cook and I got nervous but it was delicious. Prime rib sandwiches for lunch today also a hit. I'm always eager for a cook once, eat twice deal especially at the holidays.

I heard it and it sounds professional. A woman's voice but computerized? I don't know about these things but it isn't like I'm speaking into a microphone. It is like a professional recording like an announcement you would hear over a public address system. When I heard it I couldn't figure out if it was coming from the RV or some public safety warning. There is a video out there of it. I just saw they found human remains near the site but they don't know if that is a victim or someone involved. That was a serious explosion. Who does that and warns people to evacuate? Bomb warnings usually don't actually involve bombs and big bombs usually go off without warning. ???

Well that's an idea. I am northeast of Chattanooga and we have AT& T outages here and 911 is down in areas. When I saw it the first thing I thought was disgruntled employee. Who sets off that kind of bomb and gives a warning? What was the gunfire?

I am really not one for making extra work for these kids or for applying to a ton of schools or doing lots of scholarship applications. But, on kid #3 I have decided they need a first choice and a doable backup. Both of my older boys changed their minds after some scholarship deadlines had passed. My oldest had a personal situation develop that really required him to get out of town. My second son just completely changed course in dramatic and unanticipated fashion. I couldn't have really predicted either situation. So I now tell my dc they need a workable backup even if they can't imagine why they would change. I always say "what if a tornado wipes out the college?" but more realistic is a college eliminating a major or something personal changing. The backup can be cc, or a gap year, or whatever but I need us just to have some kind of Plan B. I did not make my current senior apply for all the scholarships everywhere he applied but his backup schools are cheaper with automatic aid than his current first choice. Now, if he ends up at one of them, which seems unlikely, I will be annoyed he didn't get everything he could. But it will be doable and is unlikely. So, while I don't require lots of extra "just in case" work from my seniors. I do not think you are out of line to require this one.

This story is very strange. The recording from the RV warning of the explosion? So strange.

The pictures are so bad 🙁 So scary.

My 12 yo dd didn’t ask for much. Not into toys anymore or any electronics at all but still young enough to want some fun on Christmas. The thing she kept telling everyone she wanted was clothes and toys for her dog. So the first two presents she opened were from two of her big brothers. One gave her a nice collection of dog toys. The other one have her a football jersey for her dog. At that point I could see on her face that maybe presents for her dog weren’t what she really wanted. We had a lean Christmas but I think we got enough to make it fun for her. But I don’t think she is going to ask for dog toys and clothes again.

Well if this is morphing into a MIL thread then I am back in 🙂 When my now 22 yo ds was maybe 5 yos my MIL came to visit and brought a Boyd’s Bear teddy bear for him. As a 5yo boy who was rough and tumble and just wanted to play ball he was polite but not over the moon about the gift. She proceeded to take it back and say if he didn’t appreciate she would just keep it. She took it home with her and never gave another gift to my family. In fairness she does send small checks most years for me to shop for the kids for her. But they arrive on the 24th and then she wants a report on Christmas morning from the dc on what she gave them. Haha. Like I am shopping on Christmas Eve just so I can wrap up a gift under the tree from her. Cash...that is what they report she gave them 😂

@Splash1Thank you! That is similar to the one I did years ago and was great but you have me more details 🙂 Also, the Christmas Eve church is a dinner challenge but this approach works for that.

I don’t think I’ve heard that but I’ve definitely heard “Morning” as a casual greeting and I think I’ve even said it. Like if I had my dog out in the morning and a neighbor I didn’t know was walking or jogging. I might say “Morning”. I don’t know why. It’s weird when I think about it 😂 So “afternoon” would follow but I wouldn’t think it professional. More like what the bagger at Publix might say to me as I checked out. But I do think it is not something I would expect professionally.

I come from a very conservative family. When my cousin got married his 21 yo fiance registered for all kinds of lingere. Right there with the mixing bowls. Now, there are crowds where this would be appropriate and certainly nothing taboo about married sex. But. This was not the crowd. Not the shower being thrown by the in-laws who you have hardly met. It was so funny (to me). I am sure the mother of the groom was pretty uncomfortable. As far as I know those gifts were not purchased by my family.

@Robin M I have been looking at different methods and had settled on the method Alton Brown is using there. (Though I got it from somewhere else). I think that is what I am going to do...if I do I'll let you know how it turns out!

Amazon has been great. Home Depot has been super fast. We don't order many chirstmas presents from Home Depot but they have been excellent with all kinds of things we have needed for work we are doing around the house. Things arriving next day even.

My mom was a talented seamstress and a procrastinator. Christmas morning was frequently boxes of fabric and promises 😂 But just the fabric without the promises would be very strange indeed! Sometimes it got made into what was promised but not always. I didn't love that as a gift and I've been careful not to give promises on Christmas morning. One time I remember she gave my uncle a box of corduroy and explained that it was a sportscoat. He just couldn't understand at all. While we were used to opening fabric on Christmas I'm sure that would make his list of strangest gifts. I really am not sure if my mom ever actually made the coat. I don't remember that part.

I have in my possession a 14 lb standing rib roast. It is on the menu for Christmas Eve but I'm unsure what to do with it. Years ago I used a recipe that calls for cooking it for 45 minutes, turning off the oven, then turning it back on for 45 minutes right before you want to eat. That came out great but the recipe is short on details (like how long to let it sit in the oven between cooks) and it was many years ago and I don't remember what I did and I doubt the roast was so big. So I'm a little nervous about that recipe. I have the seasoning part down. I'm just wondering how people actually go about cooking it. I've seen a few methods but nothing that makes me confident I have found the one. Rule of thumb for temp and minutes per pound? We are home all day and I'm not limited on time or oven space. Everyone here likes it rare so it needs to be cooked- but barely 🙂

We have used many online providers/co-op classes/dual enrollment. The only ones I denote on the transcript are de. The others I just name the course "Biology w/ lab" or "Geometry-Honors" or something like that. I don't explain anywhere on the transcript where the courses came from. The de classes I use the official name of the course, course number, and there is an asterik of sorts that denotes it was de at the specific university. If I had to do course descriptions I would explain there. I haven't needed to do them for any schools my dc have applied to and I haven't opted to include them optionally. But if I did, that is where I would put that info. Our transcripts would be a mess if I was denoting all the specific places dc took classes. Additionally, I still think of those as just the way we accomplished the class. I don't believe it makes the transcript look better or add any weight to have used another source. Most colleges aren't going to have any idea what to do with saying a class is from MPOA or WTMA or local county co-op. To me, that is like saying what text we used. That would go in the course description, not the transcript. Disclaimer- I am not of the belief that "mommy grades" need to be verified beyond the ACT/SAT score.

In our experience, most of our award letters have come in the spring. It has been common for my boys to get an acceptance with an automatic scholarship award or an acceptance followed by an automatic award shortly after. Then, later in the process, a full award letter would come showing the full costs and aid. I do feel like one of my kids got an award letter with an acceptance from one school but that one we got adjusted award letters throughout the year. So, while I am sure some schools send award letters early, our experience has been that most do it like UAH has done with an initial scholarship with the acceptance and full aid packages to come later. We didn't do ED anywhere but I feel like those usually come with award letters?

When I was newly married, 22 yo, I was working as a cashier in a grocery store. My manager, a woman in her fifties brought a Christmas gift for me. It was a weird lamp that was a bear that's stomach lit up when you turned on the lamp. It wasn't cutesy or funny. It was just weird and dead serious. And she was dead serious. I didn't know what to make of it. Years later I regifted it in one of those white elephant exchanges that you are supposed to bring weird gifts. I don't remember how I reacted or what I said but I have never forgotten that weird bear lamp. At 46 yo I feel like if I got something weird like that I would tactfully try to dig a little about the thought process. LOL. I do think it was a case of a lady who felt like she had to have a gift for everyone she saw in the weeks around Christmas and she had a big stash of dollar store and flea market finds.

I’m encouraged to hear about so many people getting it. The number available seems so tiny so I’m encouraged to hear about regular folks having access. We don’t have many health care workers close to the family so I don’t know what is happening locally. Only one I know of is in FL. She is a nurse practitioner and does traveling wound care so probably good for her. She was a bit hesitant but has had no issues so far.

Eh...willful ignorance cannot be underestimated. At least in the cases I am familiar with.