What this teacher did was not good but did she need to be arrested?

[teamturner]

Of course we don't know the details of the incident from such a brief report, but I don't see how this is such a great offense that she was arrested and will be tried in the courts on a charge of risk of injury of a child. I guess to me it depends on what was the food in question touching. I mean we're probably not talking about a trash dumpster that has rotting things in it. It's a school garbage can with stuff in it recently placed in there. My dh thinks anything that goes into the trash, even momentarily, is contaminated. I on the other hand would be like George Kastanza on Seinfield with the doughnut that was just sitting on the top and he then picks it up and eats it. Yep, that would be me. Probably not at someone else house but my own trash (no dirty diapers in sight of course), no problem. Am I the only one who thinks on the surface, this incident with the teacher seems a little over the top?

 

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,509641,00.html

 

 

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A kindergarten teacher in a Bridgeport school has been arrested for allegedly forcing a 5-year-old boy to eat his lunch from a garbage can.

Sixty-seven-year-old Anne O'Donnell of Fairfield, a teacher at Park City Magnet School, was arrested Tuesday on a charge of risk of injury to a minor.

School officials say the charge stems from an incident last week when the boy apparently tossed out his lunch of chicken nuggets and a banana from the school cafeteria.

The teacher is accused of retrieving the items from the garbage can and forcing the boy to eat them in front of her.

O'Donnell has been released on a promise to appear in court.

[TraceyS/FL]

There are VERY few things i would retrieve and eat from the trash. Very few, and NEVER from a public trashcan.

 

I'm NOT a germ freak either, but trash is trash in my book!

 

Arrested - not sure on that part, but if it had been my child i would not have been happy and would have expected something to happen to the teacher.

[Miss Peregrine]

That's emotionally abusive.

[teamturner]

I'm sure the food was fine, but really I think she crossed the line. Why not just tell the parents?

 

She did cross the line but I don't see it as criminal.

[Merry]

...

[teamturner]

That's emotionally abusive.

 

What the teacher did last year to that Kindergarten child by leading the kids to vote him out of the classroom was emotional abuse too. That teacher was not arrested by my recollection.

 

Also, this teacher is 67 and has been teaching for 37 years. Thirty seven years ago I'm sure this kind of thing happened and no one was arrested for it. Parents in those days probably would have said to their child, "Well next time don't waste your food!" I know my parents probably would have.

[teamturner]

Would you feel differently if she did that to an adult? Is it not as bad because the person was a child? I would consider that assault or something of that nature if someone forced me to eat food.

 

It depends on to what extent she "made" the child eat it. Did she tell him to eat it and he did w/o much fuss? Or did she scream at him and with tears running down his face did he submit to her instruction? For someone to make an adult eat something against their will there'd have to be a gun involved or someone was forcing food in the adult's mouth with some kind of force and restraint involved. I think there's a difference. With force you'd be talking about assault I think. She's just being charged with injury to a child. Is it emotional injury or injury due to the possible germs he encountered? We don't have enough details and again I don't condone what she did, I just think some other kind of reprimand would suffice.

[MBM]

I am an afterschooler and have had to deal with much, much worse. If it bothered me, I'd discuss what happened with the principal and teacher as well as my child, but I wouldn't have her arrested for what she did.

[Unicorn.]

I don't think she should have been arrested. I think she should have been force to retire, or let go maybe, but not arrested. Like you said, she is from a different generation where waisting food was a huge no-no. I also think she should apologize to the kid in person. Jmho

[Harriet Vane]

While her choices in the matter are inappropriate, no, she should NOT be arrested.

 

A better punishment would have been to let the kid go hungry and inform the parent of the kid's poor choices.

[AuntieM]

Being ravenously hungry at 2 p.m. is a natural consequence! Teacher should have left it at that. The kid did not have to be forced to eat what he had discarded. Additionally, she provided lots of schoolkid-chatter fodder that will either be detrimental to the kid or to herself, as the students who saw what happen will line up one one side or the other. And while it's debatable whether or not the kid "earned" such a harsh reaction, it still put him in a position of being humiliated before his peers.

 

I think that teacher crossed the line. I do understand that this may have been acceptable years ago, but she has chosen to remain in this profession and as such, is responsible for updating her knowledge of what teacher behavior is acceptable in today's cultural climate (fwiw, I do believe teachers should be strict, but they need to be able to stay in a beyond-reproach position, jmo).

 

That said, I do not think they should pressed charges. That seems to me more than an emotional response than a fitting punitive one. She should be in danger of losing her job, though.

[NorthwestMom]

Being forced to eat anything is abusive. No child should be compelled ot eat anything they don't want to at school. They won't starve to death during the school day.

 

I see it as an abuse of power, pure and simple. it's always the elementary-aged kids who are treated this way, because they are too small to effectively fight it off. No teenager is going to eat out of the trash because the teacher told him he had to do it.

 

I am glad the police are involved, because that teacher needs it on her record. Remember, the district may be unable to remediate it without this type of charge, depending on the contract they have with the teachers union.

[Chris in VA]

I wouldn't have had her arrested, but I probably would have suspended her without pay and forced her to attend some sort of seminar.

And as a parent, I would have been livid and probably started homeschooling.

[Staci in MO]

Also, this teacher is 67 and has been teaching for 37 years. Thirty seven years ago I'm sure this kind of thing happened and no one was arrested for it. Parents in those days probably would have said to their child, "Well next time don't waste your food!" I know my parents probably would have.

 

That was my thoughts exactly. My parents MIGHT have called the teacher about it, but they would have never let ME know that they weren't siding with the teacher.

[HRAAB]

Also, this teacher is 67 and has been teaching for 37 years. Thirty seven years ago I'm sure this kind of thing happened and no one was arrested for it. Parents in those days probably would have said to their child, "Well next time don't waste your food!" I know my parents probably would have.

 

For me, her behavior would have been as wrong 37 years ago as it is today. But you're right, no one would probably have gotten very upset over it back then. However, arresting her seems to be over the top.

 

Thirty seven years ago, I would have been 11 yrs old. I cannot imagine my parents ever making me eat anything out of the trash or condoning that kind of punishment. But I can certainly see them letting me go hungry the rest of the day.

 

Janet

[Staci in MO]

At first this didn't really bother me. But it brought back a memory for me after I though about it. When I was in 3rd grade, my parents were both in the hospital. I had to live with a relative, who was not so thrilled with that fact and didn't hesitate to let me know it. I wasn't treated very well. It was a very bad time for me. I remember being so upset I couldn't eat. I often would throw my lunch out. The teacher told my caretakers because she was concerned. That was fair enough. What if the teacher had decided to retrieve my lunch out of the trash and make me eat it? Without knowing my circumstances and reasons for not eating? I wasn't being a bratty kid. I was going through some hard times.

 

Yes, it's hard to decide, not knowing the whole story. Maybe the kid WAS being bratty, but the teacher was a crabby and harsh, so the school district seized the opportunity to force her out.

 

Or, maybe she did this to the most timid, compliant child in the class, the child is now devastated, and so the teacher should be gone.

 

Perhaps the food was inside a paper sack, sitting atop a pile of clean paper, caused the child no harm, and forced the most defiant, disobedient child she's seen in 37 years to sit up and take notice that she means business.

 

We just don't know.

[pqr]

..

Edited March 18, 2009 by pqr

[Reya]

While her choices in the matter are inappropriate, no, she should NOT be arrested.

 

A better punishment would have been to let the kid go hungry and inform the parent of the kid's poor choices.

 

Yep!

[angela in ohio]

I think it is important to keep in mind that in ANY situation involving a school, public employee, etc., you will always only hear fully one side of the story. One side is held to a measure of confidentiality to protect the other side.

 

That said, I still bear wounds from a teacher who "made an example out of me" one time.

 

I think the bigger problem is a combination of out-of-control kids and teachers who aren't equipped to deal with it. Her punishment probably wasn't an answer and her arrest probably wasn't either.

[Katiebug_1976]

So let the boy go hungry for that afternoon and notify the parents that he threw out his lunch. I think what she did was wrong, it wasn't her place to force the boy to eat his food. That's an issue for the parents to handle. But being arrested is excessive, I think.

[dtb1999]

It depends on to what extent she "made" the child eat it. Did she tell him to eat it and he did w/o much fuss? Or did she scream at him and with tears running down his face did he submit to her instruction? For someone to make an adult eat something against their will there'd have to be a gun involved or someone was forcing food in the adult's mouth with some kind of force and restraint involved. I think there's a difference. With force you'd be talking about assault I think. She's just being charged with injury to a child. Is it emotional injury or injury due to the possible germs he encountered? We don't have enough details and again I don't condone what she did, I just think some other kind of reprimand would suffice.

 

 

Personally, if it was my child she did that to, I would love nothing more than to see her fired. Or better yet, I'd like to make her eat a disgusting school lunch from the trash can in front of the entire school, and then fire her. There's just no excuse for that. Period. We're talking about a 5 year old boy here. I can't imagine what would possess her to think that was even remotely ok. I don't really care to what "extent" she made him eat it. She told this little boy to eat his food from the trash can, and whether she physically forced him to do it, or only told him to do it, it was disgusting and wrong. It is definately injury, and not just because of the risk of germs from contaminated food. I would hope she is immediately fired. She should not teaching kids anymore.

[pqr]

Personally, if it was my child she did that to, I would love nothing more than to see her fired. Or better yet, I'd like to make her eat a disgusting school lunch from the trash can in front of the entire school, and then fire her. There's just no excuse for that. Period. We're talking about a 5 year old boy here. I can't imagine what would possess her to think that was even remotely ok. I don't really care to what "extent" she made him eat it. She told this little boy to eat his food from the trash can, and whether she physically forced him to do it, or only told him to do it, it was disgusting and wrong. It is definately injury, and not just because of the risk of germs from contaminated food. I would hope she is immediately fired. She should not teaching kids anymore.

 

 

Come on now let’s be serious.

 

Just what lesson do you think we are teaching the children through all this stupidity?

 

No one was hurt, the teacher may have gone a little overboard and potentially should have a little talking to, but that is it.

 

This is outrageous and a gross overreaction.

 

Only one person should be fired and that is the idiot cop who arrested her.

[dtb1999]

And while it's debatable whether or not the kid "earned" such a harsh reaction, it still put him in a position of being humiliated before his peers.

 

That said, I do not think they should pressed charges. That seems to me more than an emotional response than a fitting punitive one. She should be in danger of losing her job, though.

 

What's debatable about it? No one deserves to be told to eat from a trash bin! That's just wrong, on so many levels. As for her being charged, I think it is fitting, as what she did was abusive, albeit not physical abuse, but emotionally abusive nonetheless.

[dtb1999]

Come on now let’s be serious.

 

Just what lesson do you think we are teaching the children through all this stupidity?

 

No one was hurt, the teacher may have gone a little overboard and potentially should have a little talking to, but that is it.

 

This is outrageous and a gross overreaction.

 

Only one person should be fired and that is the idiot cop who arrested her.

 

What are we teaching the children? How about basic human rights and respect? That is it absolutely unnaceptable to treat another human being this way?

 

No one was hurt? What about the little boy who was told to eat from the trash, no doubt in front of his schoolmates? That's unbelievably humiliating and degrading. He is 5 years old. Who knows why he threw his food in the trash? Did he deserve to be embarassed in front of the entire cafeteria for it? Nope. Could he possibly have issues down the road from it? You bet.

 

The only outrageous and gross overreaction was what the teacher did. Sorry.

[pqr]

What's debatable about it? what she did was abusive, albeit not physical abuse, but emotionally abusive nonetheless.

 

 

...and we wonder why we are raising a nation of namby-pamby whimps.

 

What happened to the days when boys would have just shaken something like this off??? Oh yes those were the days before we arrested teachers for things like this.

 

Treat a child like a mental and emotional weakling and he will fall you your expectations. Tell him to keep a stiff upper lip and he will rise to them.

[pqr]

Could he possibly have issues down the road from it? You bet.

 

.

 

Not if he grows up to be a man, he won't.

 

 

People are blowing this out of all proportion.

Edited March 18, 2009 by pqr

[dtb1999]

...and we wonder why we are raising a nation of namby-pamby whimps.

 

What happened to the days when boys would have just shaken something like this off??? Oh yes those were the days before we arrested teachers for things like this.

 

Treat a child like a mental and emotional weakling and he will fall you your expectations. Tell him to keep a stiff upper lip and he will rise to them.

 

 

So, do you think children do not deserve a basic level of respect? :001_huh:

[dtb1999]

Not if he grows up to be a man, he won't.

 

 

People are blowing this out of all proportion.

 

 

:confused: Men aren't allowed to have emotions? Men aren't allowed to be affected by traumatic things that have happened to them?

[pqr]

:confused: Men aren't allowed to have emotions? Men aren't allowed to be affected by traumatic things that have happened to them?

 

 

Traumatic..... yes.

 

This absolutely positively NO. What kind of man would let something like this bother him?

 

As I said we wonder why we have a nation of whimps.

[dtb1999]

Traumatic..... yes.

 

This absolutely positively NO. What kind of man would let something like this bother him?

 

As I said we wonder why we have a nation of whimps.

 

 

Who are you to judge what would be considered traumatic to a person? Different things affect people in different ways.

 

I am assuming here that you don't feel that children deserve a basic level of respect, judging by your replies. :(

[pqr]

Who are you to judge what would be considered traumatic to a person? Different things affect people in different ways.

I am male, I have had some pretty tough blows growing up, I have known friends who have suffered horrendous trauma, what happened to this kid is a joke. I am a fairly good judge of character, no boy of character would be harmed by this. Many boys go through trauma and survive, this was not trauma. Don't treat it as such, don't sell the kid short.

Nothing happened, the kids may call him "trash mouth" for a while but it will pass. If people ignore it there will be no issue. Arresting the teacher made this an issue. He will now have counseling and self-esteem classes and other psycho-babble and be told that it "wasn't your fault." The result of all this is that now he will in all probability be impacted, not by the event, but by the reaction of others.

[HollyinNNV]

this was not trauma. Don't treat it as such, don't sell the kid short.

[/font][/color]

:iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree::iagree:

[joannqn]

I agree with those that said that what the teacher did was wrong in many ways. Regardless of the unknowns, no one should be forced to eat food from the trash can whether or not others see it.

 

As far as those who think things like this cause our nation to become wimps, you are not looking at the bigger, deeper picture and other possibilities.

 

This kid has just had a huge lesson that what his wants, needs, and feelings are unimportant. It's not a lesson that will fade soon, especially if it is backed up with other incidents throughout his lifetime and I am 100% sure there will be other incidents as everyone has their wants, needs, and feelings trampled on. It's just that not everyone experiences such a harsh trampling.

 

Further, if his classmates witnessed it or even just hear about it, he'll will now have to suffer ongoing teasing and bullying. I don't tell me that the other kids won't do that. They'll pick on the easiest target which is the kid; it's hard for children to tease and bully a teacher.

 

We also don't know how she forced him. Did she yell at him? Call him names? Physically stuff it in his mouth? All of them constitute abuse.

 

We also don't know, as someone said, why he didn't eat it. Was he feeling ill in some way? Was he dealing with other difficult issues? Did she add insult to injury rather than find out the real reason why he didn't eat it and offer him support?

 

The issue is really much bigger than we know. Should this kid be tormented by his peers for the next several months (or years), it could very well change who he is and who he will become. Sometimes it is hard to "suck it up" than some people (who've never experienced things like this) can guess.

[Murphy101]

I'm not sure I think she should be arrested. I don't know the extend of the force. Force on a 5 year old looks different than force on an adult. But force is force. Few 5 year olds realize they can refuse to listen to a teacher. Going by what I was like at 5, I would do pretty much anything an authority figure told me to do.

 

Why couldn't the teacher just have told the parent? I don't see throwing food away as a behavioral issue in a classroom. That is the teacher's realm. Not whether or not my kid eats the school lunch.

 

I wouldn't appreciate my child being humiliated in this way for that reason. What else can be done against the teacher? And an arrest is not a conviction.

 

The arrest will be humiliating for the teacher. She seems to like excessive behavior modification techniques. So maybe the arrest is fitting.

 

yeah, this is pretty much how I feel about it. somewhat conflicted I guess. i don't know if she shoudl be arrested, but she shoudl be fired and no longer allowed to teach. She has obviously lost her common sense as we're all in agreement that the natural consequence woudl be to just let the kid be hungry.

 

as a side note though... I wonder if there was a reason the child HAD to eat it? Can't think of one, but my dh was type 1 diabetic in the '70s and remembers more than one meal that he HAD to eat because he'd already had an insulin injection and literally had to eat to stay balanced.

 

No one was hurt, the teacher may have gone a little overboard and potentially should have a little talking to, but that is it.

 

now there I disagree. she is showing gross misconduct in caring for another person's child. she should be fired before repeating a lack of sense on someone else's child.

[pqr]

I

As far as those who think things like this cause our nation to become wimps, you are not looking at the bigger, deeper picture and other possibilities.

....

 

It's just that not everyone experiences such a harsh trampling.

 

Further, if his classmates witnessed it or even just hear about it, he'll will now have to suffer ongoing teasing and bullying. I don't tell me that the other kids won't do that. They'll pick on the easiest target which is the kid; it's hard for children to tease and bully a teacher.

 

.....

The issue is really much bigger than we know. Should this kid be tormented by his peers for the next several months (or years), it could very well change who he is and who he will become. Sometimes it is hard to "suck it up" than some people (who've never experienced things like this) can guess.

 

"harsh trampling".....??

 

Harsh trampling is losing your parents, a girl being sexually assaulted, being maimed in an accident, witnessing a violent crime against family or friends not eating food out of the trash.

 

We are becoming a nation of whimps when we would deem this incident a "harsh trampling". I might even say your post is QED for my argument.

 

As someone who was bullied, and quite a bit worse than this, I am in a position to say "suck it up."

[dtb1999]

As someone who was bullied, and quite a bit worse than this, I am in a position to say "suck it up."

 

 

Bullying is never ok. No one should have to "suck it up" when they are mistreated. Tell that little boy to "suck it up" enough times and you are going to have a little boy that grows up into quite possibly a very angry adult with a big chip on his shoulder.

[dtb1999]

"harsh trampling".....??

 

Harsh trampling is losing your parents, a girl being sexually assaulted, being maimed in an accident, witnessing a violent crime against family or friends not eating food out of the trash.

 

We are becoming a nation of whimps when we would deem this incident a "harsh trampling". I might even say your post is QED for my argument.

 

 

Again, who are *you* to judge what could be considered harsh to someone else? This boy was severely disrespected, and humiliated, regardless if you feel it could have been much worse. Do you seriously feel kids don't deserve respect?

[Danestress]

I can't imagine how the DA will really make much of a case out of this.

 

But I hope that this woman is never allowed to teach again. What a bizarre person. She probably should not have gone into teaching.

[pqr]

Bullying is never ok. No one should have to "suck it up" when they are mistreated. Tell that little boy to "suck it up" enough times and you are going to have a little boy that grows up into quite possibly a very angry adult with a big chip on his shoulder.

 

 

Well I did not, rather my Father taught me how to fight. (Of course we are straying far off topic).

 

You are selling kids short. Children need to be able to "roll with the punches." Your expectations for them are low and that is what damages them. Give children credit, if you leave them alone they will rebound, if you imply that they should be "damaged" by an incident they will be.

 

This is a minor incident that was blown out of all proportion by, what I would deem, an unthinking do-gooder who, through their actions, may have damaged the child.

Edited March 18, 2009 by pqr

[dtb1999]

Well I did not, rather my Father taught me how to fight. (Of course we are straying far off topic).

 

You are selling kids short. Children need to be able to "roll with the punches." Your expectations for them are low and that is what damages them. Give children credit, if you leave them alone they will rebound, if you imply that they should be "damaged" by an incident they will be.

 

This is a minor incident that was blown out of all proportion by, what I would deem, an unthinking do-gooder who through their actions may have damaged the child.

 

As far as teaching kids that fighting solves problems, suffice it to say I think that's a bunch of bologna, but we won't go there. As for selling kids short, I think we sell kids short by displaying the mentality that they don't deserve respect and by treating them that it's okay to be walked over and mistreated. By shoveling things under the rug when incidents such as this one occur, the only thing that solves is showing kids that they aren't important enough to stand up for. The only unthinking person in this unfortunate incident was the teacher.The only actions that may have damaged the child were the teacher's actions. Good for the person who stood up for that 5 year old boy.

[Nakia]

I don't know if she deserved to be arrested, but I can see giving her a good ole fashioned butt kicking if she'd done it to my kid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm kidding...kinda.

[Murphy101]

Who are you to judge what would be considered traumatic to a person? Different things affect people in different ways.

 

 

that's right. and it's up to them to cope, not expect the entire world to become a place of mashmallows and roses.

 

Sure they deserve a bsic level of respect. I see no one here saying what the teacher did was okay. Some are simply saying it was not severe enough to require police involvement. It is possible to think something wrong without hollering for the police.

 

As someone who was bullied, and quite a bit worse than this, I am in a position to say "suck it up."

 

me too. altho this is very not good I wouldn't put it on par with trauma either

 

This kid has just had a huge lesson that what his wants, needs, and feelings are unimportant. It's not a lesson that will fade soon, especially if it is backed up with other incidents

 

honestly? sometimes they aren't important. so what? in all our daily lives very often what we think we need, want, or feel is not important. whining about it won't make it more important - just makes us whiners. (of which I've occassionally done myself to my shame) this is true for adults and just as true for children.

 

I wouldn't tell him to suck it up, but I wouldn't make a big drama of it either.

 

I'd say what he needs to know is that he doesn't always have to mind an adult. I'd say that if he knows they are in the wrong, he can and should refuse to follow/obey them and that I will be proud of his bravery in doing so and back him up.

[Murphy101]

I don't know if she deserved to be arrested, but I can see giving her a good ole fashioned butt kicking if she'd done it to my kid.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm kidding...kinda.

 

:iagree::D

[pqr]

As far as teaching kids that fighting solves problems, suffice it to say I think that's a bunch of bologna, but we won't go there. As for selling kids short, I think we sell kids short by displaying the mentality that they don't deserve respect and by treating them that it's okay to be walked over and mistreated. By shoveling things under the rug when incidents such as this one occur, the only thing that solves is showing kids that they aren't important enough to stand up for. The only unthinking person in this unfortunate incident was the teacher.The only actions that may have damaged the child were the teacher's actions. Good for the person who stood up for that 5 year old boy.

 

Well you are making quite a few assumptions and demonstrating the difference in our views.

Fighting does solve problems, even when you lose the fight.

kids who will not fight.....well we are back to out wimp issue.

Blowing things out of proportion does not solve problems.

Ask yourself why in today's world where so many embrace touchy-feely solutions we have so many problems. Why in a past world where boys didn't cry, where boys did fight where the idea of the "stiff upper lip" was commonplace did we seem to create better citizens?

You make the assumption that I do not respect children or that I would not stand up for them. You are wrong, but I have a sense of perspective. I understand what trauma is and will not include every possible insult under the definition of trauma.

I respect children and know that they will rise to expectations. I do not molly-coddle them or indicate to them that they should be emotionally weak. I respect them enough to teach them to defend themselves, I respect them enough to allow them to work through issues. I will not allow them to come to harm, but nor will I demonstrate to them that they should collapse in the face of every insult.

 

In short, children should be raised to be tough, not weak. They should be treated with respect and it should not be assumed that they will fold at every challenge.

[AnnetteB]

:iagree:This sums up what we think, too. Poor child. There are many reasons for not eating and none for her abuse of him.

Being forced to eat anything is abusive. No child should be compelled ot eat anything they don't want to at school. They won't starve to death during the school day.

 

I see it as an abuse of power, pure and simple. it's always the elementary-aged kids who are treated this way, because they are too small to effectively fight it off. No teenager is going to eat out of the trash because the teacher told him he had to do it.

 

I am glad the police are involved, because that teacher needs it on her record. Remember, the district may be unable to remediate it without this type of charge, depending on the contract they have with the teachers union.

[Murphy101]

pqr - I'm so confused about you! LOL

 

fighting CAN solve some problems. thus the phrase "just war"

 

but by no means should it be the first reaction

 

it's also not very relevant to this. unless you think the 5 yr old should have sucker punched the old lady teacher?

 

and back in the day, many a man did and does cry

crying has nothing to do with manliness

anymore than being a crier makes a woman a better woman

 

and a man who refuses to fight can often be the better man.

the trick to fighting is knowing when to fight and when to walk

most 5 yr old don't have that level of developed discernment yet.

 

I too think children are far more resilent and capable than they are given credit for.

[pqr]

pqr - I'm so confused about you! LOL

 

fighting CAN solve some problems. thus the phrase "just war"

 

but by no means should it be the first reaction.

 

 

I agree

 

it's also not very relevant to this. unless you think the 5 yr old should have sucker punched the old lady teacher?.

 

I agree the fighting issue is tangential.

 

and back in the day, many a man did and does cry

crying has nothing to do with manliness

anymore than being a crier makes a woman a better woman

 

It depends why the man cries. In the case of boys, I believe crying is generally a bad sign.

 

and a man who refuses to fight can often be the better man.

the trick to fighting is knowing when to fight and when to walk

most 5 yr old don't have that level of developed discernment yet.

 

I too think children are far more resilient and capable than they are given credit for.

 

We agree. The issue is that some posters do not think children are resilient and want to coddle them. Coddling does not equal respect.

 

Anyway it is past midnight over here. Good night.

[littlebug42]

No one and I mean no one has the right to treat my children in such a manner. Should she be arrested? Yes. I think it was abusive and crossed many lines. As for the argument that my children may be "wimps" because I feel this is abusive, well that may be but oh, well. I was the victim of bullying etc as a child. Did it make me stronger perhaps? Did it make my childhood miserable? You bet. If I can spare my children that, then I most certainly will. This is one of the primary reasons I homeschool and why while I have breath in my body, they will never be enrolled in a school, certainly not a public one.

[AndyJoy]

...and we wonder why we are raising a nation of namby-pamby whimps.

 

What happened to the days when boys would have just shaken something like this off??? Oh yes those were the days before we arrested teachers for things like this.

 

Treat a child like a mental and emotional weakling and he will fall you your expectations. Tell him to keep a stiff upper lip and he will rise to them.

 

I'm with you on most of this pqr!

 

In 1963 when my dad was 9 years old, he threw away his steak (at home) because he didn't like it. He buried it deep. When his dad discovered that his dinner had "magically" disappeared, he dug it out of the trash can and made my dad eat it. Guess what? My dad suffered no trauma, no lingering food issues, no long-term resentment towards his dad. He tells it as a funny anecdote now. Should my grandpa have been arrested for abuse?

 

I don't think we know enough about this situation to say it was abuse. Do we know that the student was humiliated, that the teacher was mean, or anything? Do we know that the food was buried and contaminated, or was it right on top? Do we know that she hadn't just told him he needed a bit more and he defied her and threw it away anyway? At my elementary school, there were teachers standing by the trash can to ensure that we finished our milk and had eaten enough of our food. Is this abusive?

I don't think it was her place to "make" him eat the trashed lunch, but do we know that it was really a big deal, or did he just do it with a little urging?

[TraceyS/FL]

Well I did not, rather my Father taught me how to fight. (Of course we are straying far off topic).

 

You are selling kids short. Children need to be able to "roll with the punches." Your expectations for them are low and that is what damages them. Give children credit, if you leave them alone they will rebound, if you imply that they should be "damaged" by an incident they will be.

 

This is a minor incident that was blown out of all proportion by, what I would deem, an unthinking do-gooder who, through their actions, may have damaged the child.

 

My (soon to be ex) husbands father taught him to fight too - and with bright red hair and freckles, he has lots of experience under his belt.

 

Perhaps, that is why when asked a simple question in december he picked up a vacuum and started to throw it at me? Because, "fighting" with your hands and violence is the answer to it all?

 

Something like this would mess up my middle child for WEEKS and MONTHS.

 

No child should be bullied. Period.